Hello! Just posted this in ao3 and decided to post it here as well.

Disclaimer: If Tokyo Ghoul were mine, Touka would appear more. And Hide would be around.

Warning: English is not my first language so easy on that. I accept corrections.

Full summary: Kaneki Ken was bored and lately he can't see his friends how he would like. He thought one solution could be hanging up with all of them at the same time! Just a problem, they all thought it was a date, and now they're really jealous of the other ones close to Kaneki.

Shenanigans of Tsukiyama, Touka and Hide fighting over Kaneki's atenttion.

Or that time when Kaneki played dumb all along.

Table for four

It was Saturday afternoon, and Kaneki called some of his friends to hang out. Hide and Tsukiyama didn't know each other, so it would be cool to see how well they got along. Besides, Kaneki missed seeing his friends, especially Hide. Ever since he'd gotten the job at the coffee shop, Kaneki had been really busy. Between work and college, he hadn't had very much time to spend with Hide, or to socialize at all, really. His exchanges with Touka at work didn't count, and neither did interacting with the clients . . . some of whom were difficult to handle.

He told them all to meet him at the park, and everyone sounded excited, even Touka, which put Kaneki in a good mood. He quickly got dressed, went to the designated meeting place, and sat down on a picnic table while he waited.

Hide was the first one to show up, looking as fresh as always wearing his trademark yellow and black jacket and green pants, his clothes cheerfully vibrant in contrast to Kaneki's plain pants and shirt and the green sweater draped over his bag. Hide looked like a ray of brilliant sunlight splitting a cloudy sky, and Kaneki smiled big.

"Hi Kaneki! Long time no see, considering you've abandoned me for your other friends!" Hide grabbed Kaneki up in a tight, over-dramatic hug, clenching fistfuls of Kaneki's shirt in fake desperation.

Kaneki rolled his eyes at Hide's hysterical overacting. "Stop it."

"I was looking forward to this date, Kaneki. I thought you didn't love me anymore!"

Kaneki muffled something about not being capable of disliking Hide, and Hide smiled goofily. Releasing Kaneki from his bone crushing hug, Hide looked at his friend and felt his heart ache a little bit as he realized there was no hint of ulterior meaning in Kaneki's words. Kaneki was just being his usual, caring self.

Stupid Kaneki, who doesn't realize stuff. Hide didn't actually think Kaneki was stupid. If anyone was stupid, it was Hide for not being able to confess to his best friend. Maybe someday he'd man up and grow a spine. Hide sighed and sat down next to Kaneki, and soon they were talking about their college classes and money problems.

A few minutes later Touka showed up wearing a very lightweight, short black dress and low-heeled shoes. She was gorgeous. There was a white ribbon in her hair, and she wore a little lipstick—not a lot though, no matter how much Hinami insisted. There was no way she was going to slather on the make-up for this.

Hide impulsively whistled at her, and Touka startled. She whipped her head toward the sound and saw both guys sitting there looking at her. Both guys. Not one guy, but two.

Stupid Kaneki! She thought.

"Hi, Idiot. How's everything?" she said under her breath, trying to calm down. Hide had a sly smile on his face, and Touka glared at him. That little shit knew why she was there. She was going to kill both of them, no matter her stupid feelings for stupid Kaneki. So much for the park date she'd allowed herself to imagine . . . and now she felt ridiculous. Kaneki might be an idiot, but she was a bigger idiot for believing Kaneki would actually try a move on her.

Kaneki smiled at her nervously. He didn't understand why she always insulted him. Of course, she wasn't really good with words. And was it his imagination, or was Touka . . . blushing? Huh. Well, maybe she was hot . . . well, she was hot, but maybe her body was hot . . . uh, well, maybe it was the weather.

Speaking of hot, Kaneki's face felt like it was on fire. "Hey. So Hinami didn't come?"

"She wanted to come, but she had to work," Touka lied while trying to smile.

Hide observed her with suspicion, but didn't say anything. She was a cute person, so whatever lie she was obviously telling couldn't be that bad. Just like Hide, she probably thought she was meeting Kaneki for a date. His best friend was really something.

"Oh . . . well. That's sad," Kaneki said, sincerely. "Well, you two already know each other, so that's good. The person you don't know, Hide, is Tsukiyama. He should be here in a minute."

Oh god, He's coming. Touka winced.

Hide hadn't met the guy, but he knew Touka. He saw her sometimes in the coffee shop, and more than once he'd seen the longing way she'd stared at Kaneki when she'd thought Kaneki wasn't looking. This didn't bug Hide at all, obviously. Really, in the end, it didn't matter. Hide was a very patient man. But, still, he might have to admit having such a cute girl as competition was a little bothersome.

Shoving his petty jealousy aside, Hide proceeded to act how Kaneki expected him to act, and told Touka how pretty she looked. It wasn't a lie, per se, but he just wasn't at all attracted to her. Still, if he didn't act normally, Kaneki might get suspicious.

After a few awkward smiles (Kaneki's smiles so big they melted Hide's and Touka's insides), Tsukiyama showed up.

Tsukiyama was . . . well, 'interesting' might be too tame a word to describe him. Aside from the fact Tsukiyama had tried to eat Kaneki, he really wasn't a bad guy. Kaneki knew people probably thought he was an idiot for giving the guy a chance, but he couldn't help himself. Tsukiyama turned out to be really nice after he'd finally stopped being a weirdo—most of the time, anyway—and he'd somehow managed to make a place for himself in Kaneki's heart. Maybe it was their shared love of books. Or maybe it was because Kaneki sensed Tsukiyama was a little lonely, just like he was. Although Kaneki was still cautious around him, he'd begun to feel like he could trust Tsukiyama, which was why he wanted to introduce him to Hide.

"Hello, mon chéri," Tsukiyama said, standing right in front of Kaneki and eating him with his eyes. He looked as beautiful as ever, wearing a silver tailored suit.

Touka and Hide groaned softly and shared an annoyed look between them. This guy was by far the worst choice for Kaneki, and both of them were ready to give everything to insure Kaneki ended up with someone else. They would both much rather see Kaneki end up with the other than see him with Tsukiyama.

Having just realized he wasn't on a date with Kaneki, Tsukiyama was also upset, but he tried to manage himself with class. After all, he knew he had to fight Touka for Kaneki's heart, so he would have to give it all he had. He focused every ounce of charm he possessed on Kaneki and asked, "How are you feeling, Beautiful? Are you sure you're not too hot, my dear?"

Kaneki smiled at Tsukiyama's flirting. Touka's eyes flamed. Hide attempted to look cool, calm and collected despite his inability to control his arching eyebrow.

"A little bit, yes," Kaneki answered innocently, seeming completely oblivious to the tension and frustration radiating from his three friends. "But more important, I wanted to see you all because it's been way too long since I've gotten to hang out with any of you. Between college and work, it feels like I barely have time to breathe. So I was hoping once you all met, you'd all get along . . . nothing would make happier than that!" Kaneki smiled sweetly as he looked at each of them intently.

This bitch.

He's gonna be the end of me.

I wonder what his sweat tastes like?

The three dorks in love knew this was going to be a long day.

They walked together for a while and made small talk, trying to find common ground other than their burning desires for Kaneki. Hide and Tsukiyama discovered they'd read some of the same mangas. Touka and Tsukiyama both liked coffee a lot. That still didn't stop Touka from wanting to kick Tsukiyama whenever he got too obnoxious, but she didn't for Kaneki's sake.

"So you know English?" Touka asked Tsukiyama, instead of kicking him.

"Yes, I do actually."

"Cool. So if I ever need some translation, would you do it for me? I like some songs in English, but Google translator always translates them . . .weird."

"You can never trust Google translator," Tsukiyama and Hide said at the same time. Hide laughed, but Tsukiyama stood silent, which made the mood awkward.

It wasn't that Tsukiyama was trying to be mean, he was just surprised at how easily he and Hide had slid onto the same wavelength. "Anyway . . . yes, of course. If you ever need a translation, Touka, you can come to me."

"I also know English," Kaneki pointed out.

"Yes, but I didn't ask for your help, Idiot."

The mood lightened up again, and they all realized that talking was actually okay. They could stand it. It wasn't killing them to share Kaneki.

But only for today.

Kaneki looked at them sweetly, pleased that everything was going according to the keikaku. Seeing three of his dearest friends getting along so well was a dream come true. He felt so genuinely happy his cheeks hurt from smiling so much.

"Mom? Why are those two people dressed so nice? Are they going to a party?" A child's loud question ripped Kaneki out of his happy place, and he saw Touka bristle out of the corner of his eye.

Uh oh.

"Do you have a problem with that, you brat?!" Even as she yelled at the kid, Touka knew she should have just let it go. His mom already looked so embarrassed . . . but she didn't look near as mortified as Touka felt for dressing up for a date that wasn't. Touka felt her face contort in humiliated rage as the child's mom snorted at Touka and dragged the kid away, and the way Hide and Tsukiyama smirked at her wasn't helping matters any.

"Don't pay any attention to that kid, Touka. You look . . . you look very nice, so it's okay, don't you think?" Kaneki said.

Touka looked at him hopefully, and they smiled at each other. She was going to say something, maybe 'thank you,' but then Tsukiyama rudely interrupted by grabbing Kaneki's hand and dragging him toward a balloon seller. "Do you want a balloon, Kaneki-kun?"

Flustered, Kaneki tried to say no, but Tsukiyama insisted so Kaneki asked for an orange balloon. Blushing, he accepted it from Tsukiyama, and Touka felt her blood boil.

Ha! Two can play at that game! Touka bounded over to Kaneki and captured his arm in both of hers, and felt a little thrill of victory as his blush deepened. She tugged him closer and away from an upset Tsukiyama as Hide watched with an amused expression, and she tried to think of a good excuse to drag Kanaki away. She scanned the park quickly . . . no, she couldn't eat cotton candy . . .Oh! That would do it. "Hey Kaneki . . . I'm sorry, but would you like to buy me one . . . one of those bubble-maker things? I really want one of them!" She batted her eyelashes up at Kaneki and poofed out her lower lip a little. Acting cute didn't come naturally to her, but if Kaneki's reaction (and Hide's and Tsukiyana's dropped jaws) were any indication, she was doing it right.

"Oh! Of course, Touka-chan! I can do that!" Kaneki gushed.

Touka smirked. Ah! Victory!

Tsukiyama's face burned as he paced beside Hide, watching Touka succeed at her "cute girl" act. She looked like she was Kaneki's girlfriend. "Can you believe what she's doing?" He seethed.

"Not very different from what you were doing, really." Hide smirked.

They looked at each other, sizing each other up. Tsukiyama didn't know how much this human knew, but he was quite a wicked individual and had an intelligence about him that reminded Tsukiyama of Chie. Weird. Maybe it was his smell. Hide wasn't at all striking, but like Chie, he had some unnamable quality that was oddly attractive.

Hide knew very well Tsukiyama was a ghoul, and he felt so badass, hanging out with so many of them. Ghouls weren't dangerous if they were with Kaneki, but even so, it was really cool. Something not so cool was watching a cute girl like Touka steal his man. He was usually okay with everything—he hadn't felt bothered by Tsukiyama's stupid attempt at flirting—but seeing Kaneki so flustered and attempting to make those bubbles with Touka really ate at Hide. Maybe it was time to bring the heavy artillery. "I am his friend, yes. I won't talk about that with you, though. Sorry, Tsukiyama-san."

Tsukiyama watched with surprise as Hide turned on his heel, his expression serious, marched over to the pair blowing silly bubbles, and pulled Kaneki away from Touka. He was definitely a brave guy, the ghoul thought, because there weren't too many humans who would dare to challenge two powerful fighters like them.

"What do you want, Hide?" Kaneki huffed. He wasn't very upset with Hide, but he'd been having fun with Touka and Hide's interruption was downright rude.

"I just remembered I have something for you," Hide said. "A few days ago, I was near this bookshop and, well . . . You were in class and after that you had to go to the coffee shop . . . long story short, I got you Takatsuki Sen's autograph and I didn't know when to give it to you. I brought it with me today because . . . well, I brought it with me today."

Kaneki's face lit up. He grabbed the book Hide gave him, grinned big at the signature there, and hugged Hide. "God . . . thanks, Hide. You always know how to cheer me up. How do you do it?"

"I'm really good at everything I do, Baby." Hide hugged Kaneki closer and breathed in his scent deeply. Kaneki's cologne smelled damned good, and Hide smiled in pleasure, much to the dismay of the two furious ghouls watching them.

"Are you dumb? Don't call me Baby!" Kaneki said, laughing hard, his eyes so brilliant Hide thought he might die beneath their gaze. He is really going to be the end of me. "You're awesome, Hide. Have I told you you're awesome?"

"Not nearly enough," Hide smirked.

"Okay. You're awesome."

"You're pretty awesome, too."

"But you're more awesome."

"But…"

"Could you both just shut up?!" Two angry ghouls shouted at them. Kaneki startled in surprise and pulled out of Hide's arms, a little blush of embarrassment warming his cheeks. Hide just glared at them for getting in the way of their moment and abruptly ending their perfect and awesome extended hug.

They began walking again. There really wasn't anything else to do, since no one wanted to go to a game and three out of the four of them couldn't eat any food there, anyway. Well, technically they could eat, but that would spoil the date. So they just kept walking. Sometimes they talked, and Hide was good at talking about nothing, so at least there were no awkward silences. Touka and Tsukiyama tried to add to the conversation as much as possible. They couldn't not try, seeing how happy it made Kaneki when they spoke with each other, even if it was about something as meaningless as coffee. Touka talked about how she wasn't actually sure what to study, although she knew she liked Biology. The others cheered her politely, and Hide tried to scare her with stories. Kaneki had to reassure her that college guys weren't so depraved that all they did was chase cute girls all of the time.

Then, of course, Kaneki had to start sputtering about how he didn't mean he thought of Touka as just a pretty girl, which annoyed Touka. A lot. That, and the fact that Kaneki was still walking really close to Hide, and he kept looking at Hide with a smile and doe eyes and telling him how excited he was and how much he loved the book that was now tucked in his bag and how amazing Hide was. Neither of the two ghouls or Hide knew if Kaneki was flirting with Hide on purpose, but they all thought he probably wasn't, considering it was Kaneki Ken.

Obviously Hide won that particular round, but Tsukiyama was happy because Kaneki still held the orange balloon. He hadn't let go of it even throughout all the bubble blowing and the Hide hugging. Touka and Hide wanted to pinch that balloon, and Tsukiyama's face, while they were at it.

But it is all for Kaneki, everyone thought.

"Look! Let's sit next to the fountain. It'll be romantic!" Tsukiyama shouted, already walking toward it. Kaneki was a little confused, but Tsukiyama always used the word 'romantic' around him, so he shrugged and followed him. Touka and Hide looked at each other, horrified. What a terrible joke.

But Tsukiyama wasn't joking. So far as he was concerned, this was still his date with Kaneki, even if they were accompanied by a couple of silly and annoying chaperones. The way Kaneki tried to deny his obvious feelings for Tsukiyama was endearing, but it was just a matter of time before he admitted the truth. Everyone fell in love with Tsukiyama sooner or later, and Kaneki would be no different. Obviously.

They sat on the edge of the fountain, Kaneki between Touka and Hide, Tsukiyama on Touka's other side, his arms and legs crossed in annoyance that he wasn't sitting beside Kaneki when the fountain had been his idea. Even if there were more people than there should be, it was a romantic place. Just watching Kaneki playing with the water made everyone's hearts flutter. The young half-ghoul looked beautiful, even in his casual attire, and the smile playing on his lips did things to the three people around him. Everyone turned their gazes away, conflicted feelings in their chests.

Kaneki noticed the sudden tension and looked at his friends. They were all acting so . . . shy? Maybe they really didn't like each other. Then again, everyone seemed to be having a good time together when they were walking and talking. "This has been a good day, yeah? What do you guys think?"

They all wanted to shrug at his question, all of them wondering what Kaneki was really asking, and everyone felt like sighing. It's not his fault. It's our fault for falling for him. Of course he doesn't realize that we're all in love with him. And even if he does, how is he supposed to acknowledge it without hurting someone's feelings? Kaneki Ken would never do that. So instead, they answered enthusiastically, saying they've had a great time and couldn't wait to do it again. And to be fair, the day really had been kind of fun, even if it wasn't the date they'd all imagined.

"Of course it's been a great day, mon chéri," Tsukiyama grinned. "Your friend is really charming, and Touka is delightful as ever!" He placed his hand on her shoulder, and Touka heard a voice in her head ordering her to kill him right then.

"Thanks, man. You're really cool, too," Hide answered. That Tsukiyama guy was . . .something. He didn't look like a bad guy. He was eccentric, but he was okay. And if it made Kaneki happy to be friends with him, then so be it. Sure, the idea was a little hard to swallow, and it was going to take Hide a little time to get used to Tsukiyama, but he'd try for Kaneki's sake.

Tsukiyama started to bump against Touka's shoulder, still upset about not being able to sit next to Kaneki. Annoyed, Touka turned and shoved him into the fountain. She just hadn't counted on the guy grabbing her and taking her into the water with him.

Hide grabbed Kaneki and pulled him away before he toppled in, too, but there was no saving Touka and Tsukiyama, and Hide brayed with laughter. There they were, both dressed so fancy and looking like a couple of drowned rats. Oh dear God, it was priceless! Thanks Kami, or Buddha, Allah or freaking Jesus, thanks to any God who granted him this gift! Hide would be good, now. He wouldn't track people without their consent or lie anymore, ever! This moment was a miracle. His life was fulfilled.

"My suit is ruined! No!"

"My… my ribbon… where is it?"

Tsukiyama and Touka scrambled out of the fountain, enraged, Tsukiyama yelling at Touka for ruining his fabulous suit while Touka tied her wet ribbon back into her sopping hair, her eyes shooting daggers at Tsukiyama and looking like she was ready to take a bite out of him. Hide couldn't stop laughing, it was so damned funny. Tsukiyama's face was a poem, and Touka trying to wring the water out of her dress was hilarious and endearing. Oh God, this was so entertaining. And they were shoeless, now! They had to wait for their shoes to dry. Oh God, so good, so good!

Kaneki was so embarrassed. This was not supposed to happen. Damn. It was his fault for agreeing to sit next to the fountain. Now the day was completely ruined. He blushed and apologized, "I'm so sorry, guys! I should have chosen a different place. Look at you . . . your dress . . . and your suit . . .I'm so sorry. The day is ruined and I feel . . ."

The ghouls were annoyed. How could this guy be such a cute idiot?!

"It's not your fault, mon chéri, it's hers!" Tsukiyama glared at Touka, and she huffed. "This was a wonderful place to spend the day with you and your . . . lovely friends. How could we be sad when there's such a beautiful sunset on the horizon? It's as beautiful as you are, dear."

Kaneki stuttered, his blush spreading to his ears. Touka looked calm, but only because if she showed her jealous and embarrassed rage she would start killing people, and that wouldn't be nice. Hide, on the other hand, choked on his laughter when he heard Tsukiyama's blatant flirt. Did Kaneki seriously not realize what the ghoul was after, or was he just playing dumb? No, his friend was smart. Maybe he just didn't want to reject Tsukiyama. On the other hand, maybe Kaneki was really into the ghoul and he was just too shy to say yes.

Fuck. I have to save him from this weirdo, Hide thought, boiling with jealousy.

"Of course it wasn't your fault, Kaneki," Hide said. "Tsukiyama-san is right. The sunset looks like it's gonna be pretty or whatever . . . we shouldn't waste it . . . unless, of course, you guys want to go home," Hide looked pointedly at Tsukiyama and Touka, his big smile not reaching his eyes. "Don't worry. I can spend the rest of the day with Kaneki. You guys don't want to stay since you're all wet, am I right?"

Touka and Tsukiyama decided catching the flu was a risk they were willing to take before they let that little shit Hide stick around and comfort Kaneki all by himself. "No! I'm ok!" They yelled at the same time, and then glared at each other.

"Are you guys sure?" Kaneki worried. "I mean, you can't be at all comfortable. I can hang out with you guys another time."

"Yeah, Kaneki is right. You're both dressed up and you shouldn't be walking around like that, now." Hide sidled up close behind Kaneki, face against his shoulder, biting his lips with excitement.

"No, no, it's okay. I want to stay," Touka glared at Hide, forcing a smile on her face and deciding to fight just as hard as Hide was fighting. "Of course, Shity-yama should go home, but my dress will dry soon." She gestured at her ruined dress, twirling her shoes on the fingers of her other hand, "but he wouldn't want to waste his expensive suit, am I right, Idiot?"

"Do not worry about me, dear. I'm just fine. My suit is already ruined, so it doesn't matter. I'll just buy a new one."

Touka and Hide rolled their eyes, knowing Tsukiyama was just using this opportunity to impress Kaneki with his wealth, the jerk.

Kaneki sighed, but he felt calmer, and he offered his green sweater to Touka. "I know it's not much, but I don't want you to get cold . . . or something."

Touka's knees felt weak, but she was able to hold herself upright and thank Kaneki as he helped her into his sweater. Soon, with a little bit of luck, he'll be taking clothes off of me.

"Alright!" Tsukiyama said to Kaneki, as if he were the only other person there. "We should hurry, dear. Let's go to a place where we can get some sun. Maybe my suit will dry and not look completely awful."

They found a swing set with four swings, and Tsukiyama was outraged. He was not going to sit in a swing with his suit all ruined! He didn't feel like playing and he had to walk without shoes and that put him in a bad mood! And, because he hesitated, Kaneki had ended up on a swing between Touka and Hide again, and he had to settle with swinging next to Hide.

"This is nice," Kaneki smiled. "It's been a really long time since I've been on a swing. They're fun."

His three friends looked at him with their hearts in their eyes. Damn, but Kaneki looked so pretty in the sunlight, all lit up with excitement about something as simple as playing on a swing.

Just like he plays with our hearts! They all thought, weeping inside.

Hide started pump his legs harder, and his swing picked up momentum as he yelled to Kaneki, "let's see who can get the highest!"

Kaneki and Hide were laughing, obviously having a lot of fun together as they swung higher and higher. Touka and Tsukiyama shared a determined look. Touka pulled Kaneki's sweater tighter around herself and Tsukiyama chanted something in another language, and then they both started working their swings into the air.

Kaneki laughed with joy as he looked around at his friends. Touka screamed with excitement like a child. It was all fun and games until Tsukiyama, trying to impress Kaneki, swung way too high and fell off his swing.

Heart in his throat, Kaneki immediately dragged his feet to slow his swing, and leapt off to race toward his sprawled friend. Touka and Hide stopped their swings, too, but they couldn't move to help because they were both laughing too hard.

"Oh dear God! Look at him! He fell . . . Oh dear God!" Hide gasped though his laughter, swiping the tears from his eyes.

"What an idiot! 'Oh dear God,' indeed! I can't believe Kaneki invited him here!"

They both stopped laughing abruptly when they saw Kaneki glaring at them from where he held Tsukiyama delicately as he tried to help him get up off the ground. "Are you okay, Tsukiyama-san?"

"I'm fine, Kaneki-kun. Your presence is all the healing salve my physical injuries could ever need."

Touka and Hide watched Kaneki blush, and they both inwardly groaned. That had been the cheesiest line either of them had ever heard, and seeing Kaneki fall for it was annoying as all Hell. They got off their swings and walked over to where Kaneki was still fussing over the "injured" Tsukiyama, which was also annoying, and also ridiculous because the guy was a ghoul and it would take a lot more than a topple from a swing to do Tsukiyama any serious damage, and Kaneki well knew it.

Even so, Kaneki looked sincerely worried, and Touka and Hide stood looking down at the pair with annoyance, their arms crossed over their chests.

At least my dress is dry now, and Shity-yama seems to be okay. When will this end? I want to go home and cry for about three hours over having a crush on such a huge idiot.

Hide's thoughts were similar to Touka's, except his mind said "in love" because he was much surer of his feelings.

"Look. The sun is setting," Kaneki said quietly to Tsukiyama.

Their stomachs turning twin flip-flops of jealousy at hearing Kaneki speak so gently and privately to Tsukiyama, Touka and Hide both quickly sat down next to them for fear of being left out. This time, it was Hide who wasn't able to sit next to Kaneki, and he didn't like that at all.

It was a pretty twilight. The shades of orange all over the clouds were beautiful, and the soft light washing over the park and making it glow was gorgeous.

Touka put her shoes back on, and then sighed and placed her head on Kaneki's shoulder, feeling sleepy and unfulfilled. Fuck. Why couldn't she get a proper date out of this man?

Hide and Tsukiyama glared at her, both jealous because she was a cute girl who could get away with resting her head on Kaneki's shoulder in public without it being 'weird.' And the blush her gesture had elicited from Kaneki was gorgeous. Both men ached with want to be the one who made Kaneki blush like that.

No worries. There will be more chances, Hide thought. Sooner or later, there'll be a time I'm alone with Kaneki, without these two cock-blocking ghouls hanging around. Damn, what can I do? Kaneki's used to Tsukiyama's flirting, and Touka is a girl, so she can flirt more easily. Shit . . .shit, what can I do . . .

"Kaneki, let's take a picture!" Hide said, pulling Kaneki over Touka so he was laying over both of them, his head resting on Hide's chest. Kaneki and Touka laughed, and Kaneki relaxed against his friends, waiting for the picture. Touka's blush deepened, and she wrapped an arm around Kaneki's back. Soon after, Kaneki felt five hands on different parts of his body—Tsukiyama's hands were on weird places, with one almost on Kaneki's butt and the other on his navel. Hide's free hand was on his neck while the other one took the picture. Kaneki sort of felt like a piece of meat, but he shrugged it off and smiled for the camera.

"Say cheese!"

In the picture they all looked like they were having so much fun.

Kaneki realized he felt too comfortable being not so subtly groped by all of those hands. He blushed furiously, shook himself free of his friends' grasps and stood up quickly. "Well, guys, this was great but I . . . I need to go home and do some chores and some homework . . . yeah, so I think I'd better go."

Startled, the three lovesick fools looked up at the object of their desires with disappointment. Why won't Kaneki let himself be loved? They all sighed.

Hide jumped to his feet and already had an arm around Kaneki's shoulder while Touka and Tsukiyama were still finding their legs. "I can go home with you, Kaneki. I need some help with one of my classes, and you're so smart! I'm sure you can help me."

"We could also go with you!" Touka and Tsukiyama spoke at the same time, again, and it was getting on their nerves.

"No guys . . . Touka, you'll get people worried, and I couldn't make you do chores, Tsukiyama, that's just not you." Kaneki laughed at the thought of Tsukiyama with an apron. Maybe a pink one? That would fit him.

Shit, Touka thought. Now Hide was going home with Kaneki, and his smirk was the smirk of a man planning to steal her man. Well, if I can't have him, neither can you, buddy. "Hide-san? I know you want to be with Kaneki, but . . .Well, in any other situation I'd ask Kaneki, but he's busy, right? So I was wondering if you would walk me home. I don't feel safe with Shity-yama here, and I'm a little bit scared because it's getting late."

Yes she's a ghoul, but she's also a girl, so you can't punch her no matter how big a conniving liar she is, Hide told himself as Tsukiyama smirked at him and Kaneki looked at Hide with hopeful eyes.

Tsukiyama tried not to sound too gleeful as he pushed the issue. "Yes, I think Hide should walk you home, my dear. Not that I would ever so much as consider harming a single hair on your pretty little head, but who knows what else might be out there, hiding in the shadows, salivating at the thought of sinking their teeth into a scrumptious morsel like yourself?"

"Might be the first time I've heard you speak sense all day, Shity-yama." Touka smirked. "So what do you say, Hide? Will you walk me home? Please?"

Hide sighed. This was such bullshit, and everyone present knew it. Touka was a ghoul, and strong. If anything or anyone tried to mess with her, she would just destroy them, end of story. The only thing was, Hide wasn't supposed to know Touka was a ghoul. Everyone else thought he was just a normal guy who saw Touka as just a cute, human girl, and Kaneki kept looking at him with that expectant, hopeful expression. If he refused, he'd look like the world's biggest asshole. "Yeah. Of course, I'll walk you home, Touka."

They all said their goodbyes. Hide hugged Kaneki tightly. Touka just waved, because she never hugged Kaneki goodbye. How embarrassing! Tsukiyama lifted Kaneki's hand and dusted a feathery kiss over the back, which made Hide and Touka groan.

Kaneki just rolled his eyes and walked toward home, humming.

"That was rude, Touka-chan," Hide growled, as soon as Kaneki was out of earshot.

"Heh. Yeah, you thought you were getting him. Well, you're not getting shit." Touka said, smugly.

"Well, seeing as you have your knight in shining armor to see you safely home, there's no need for me to stick around," Tsukiyama said, his gaze following Kaneki's path out of the park. "Have a nice night, my dears. See you never, I hope."

Hide and Touka both grabbed one of Tsukiyama's arms and held him in place. "Not so fast, friend." Hide commanded. "I'm not sure I feel so safe alone with Touka, here. You should stick around. Safety in numbers, and all."

Touka shot a glare at Hide, but muttered her agreement.

"What?" Tsukiyama heckled. "Are you both so afraid our darling Kaneki will fall straight into my arms the moment I catch up with him? Which he will, of course."

"Oh, shut up," Touka said with a sly smile. "It's not like Kaneki's fallen for your fancy suit or your suave gentleman act. He's as oblivious to your feelings as he is to Hide's. But look, he left me his sweater. Isn't that cute?"

"He also left with my book," Hide said. "So don't act so smug."

"He left with my balloon, too."

"You're rich Tsukiyama. Step up the game," both Touka and Hide said at the same time. They all laughed.

They walked together toward Touka's house in comfortable silence for a while, and then Hide asked, "Seriously. Do you think Kaneki realized, at all?"

They shared amused glances, and then all three of them started laughing.

Kaneki closed the book he was reading, unable to focus. Memories from the day flooded his mind, making him feel all flustered.

Lately, it was hard to spend time with any of his friends, and it wasn't really because he was so busy, despite what he told himself or them. The truth was it was hard to spend time alone with any of his friends, especially those three.

He thought he was delusional when he noticed things changing between him and Hide. He'd never thought of his friend that way before, which is why he thought he must be imagining the idea that maybe there might be something more than friendship growing between them. But then Hide started to touch him more often. He started to sit closer, started looking at Kaneki with those lovely chocolate eyes in a way that made Kaneki want to melt in them, that made Kaneki want to hug Hide and never let him go.

Then there was Touka. She was much more reserved than Hide, not so touchy-feely, but anytime he spoke with her he saw heat flush her cheeks, and her gaze darted down to his lips and lingered. Sometimes she'd flutter her eyelashes, and Kaneki's legs would tremble. The thought of her biting his neck did things to him, to the point he was starting to wonder if he was some sort of masochist.

And Tsukiyama . . . well, Tsukiyama was more of an acquired taste . . . and it seemed Kaneki had acquired one. Even with their past, he couldn't deny that he found Tsukiyama's extravagance and forwardness endearing. Tsukiyama's crush on Kaneki wasn't something the man tried to hide, and Kaneki admired that about him. He just wasn't quite sure when he'd started reciprocating that crush.

He'd acted oblivious, but Kaneki knew Hide, Touka and Tsukiyama were in love with him. What they didn't know was Kaneki was also in love with all three of them! This was awful! Their group date today had just made it worse. He thought if he brought them all together he could test the waters to see which one was his "favorite," but there was no way he could choose between them. All of them were awesome and perfect in different ways.

Kaneki screamed into his pillow.

Sighing again, Kaneki Ken decided to sleep. He was a man with a dilemma. What could anyone do in a situation like that? Flip a coin?

*Keikaku means plan.

Thanks for reading!