Tris sat still while she was bombarded with so much information that she thought her head might explode. She had been learning all she thought she needed to know, but with Erudite's initiation coming to an end, she had just under two weeks to learn enough to pass herself off as a brand new member. The council and the scientists were collaborating on who would escort her inside the wall, who would administer the memory serum, and what her backstory would be. She would obviously be a transfer, they agreed, so most of the members — outside of the ones involved in initiation — wouldn't need to be modified. It was explicitly told to her that she was to be small, unassuming, a complete loner; Jeanine would be the only person they would be unable to use memory serum on, and they knew it was going to be an issue. She had to appear as if she were always invisible; their hope was that the Erudite members would assume she was just a quiet kid and that's why they didn't have many memories of interacting with her.

They continued making plans on how to forge her paperwork, add in schoolwork and test results so it looked like she was always there, and figure out how to get her at the right levels for her permanent job placement. It was exhausting listening to all their ideas.

"The only way this could work is if she comes from Abnegation," she heard someone yell out.

"Can't. Not with the tension between the two factions. Besides, they could ask the brother if he knew her. Conflict."

"Amity?" another called out. That seemed to spark something, causing them to go back and forth as Candor was a possibility, too.

"She doesn't have an aptitude for any of this!" she heard.

"Adopted!" another one shouted. Tris closed her eyes and shook her head. She was beginning to think she was going to need a dose of memory serum for herself just to keep whatever story they came up with straight.

Hours passed before she was able to leave. She couldn't wait to get away from it all, especially David. Tris tried to stay as engaged as she could, but he was always around, hovering, listening, watching her every time he caught her eye. It made her nervous. It also made her feel like everything rested entirely upon her; if she were to fail, she worried there would be serious ramifications on the people she cared about most, both inside the city and out.

She had dozens of files sent to her tablet before she was to leave, most of them containing facts about Erudite that she would have learned in their initiation, maps to memorize, names to learn, an area of study she would be sorted into; it was absolutely overwhelming. A gene therapy position would put her closest to Jeanine, but there was no way to cram that much information into her head in such a short amount of time. They settled for the area of Erudite that focused solely on maintaining the archives, creating new records, and updating existing ones. This included spending time with the scientists, recording them in the act of discovery to preserve it all for future generations, and also taking notes from an outsider's point of view. It was close enough so she could keep an eye on things, while affording her an opportunity to ask questions without actually being required to do much of anything.

She trudged to the cafeteria with a promise to study all afternoon and evening. She didn't even look as she piled food onto her plate, making her way to the empty table that she had sat at for eight days straight. She tossed her tray down and sat, staring off as she mindlessly picked at her food.

"Let me guess, you knew and you didn't say anything." Matthew slid into the seat next to her. She eyed him for a moment before nodding. "You should have told him."

"I don't need you to tell me that," she hissed. Her face was a mixture of anger and regret.

Matthew sighed. "I'm not going to tell you what to do, and I'm not here to criticize your choices. I'm just saying that Four is very… sensitive." She snorted. "I know how he came to be at the Bureau, and I've been around him enough to notice how closed off he is, Tris. I know it's not in him to trust so easily."

Tris pushed her food around for a moment before finally giving up and tossing her fork down. She knew Matthew was right, and she didn't need him to remind her how awful his life had been. Tris put her elbows on the table and covered her face, digging the heels of her hands into her eyes to try and stave off the tears she could feel building.

"I couldn't… I didn't know how," she sighed, her hands flopping down into her lap. "He's very protective."

"Exactly. You could have, you know, talked. Figured it out together instead of having someone else lay it all on him at once and letting him be caught totally off-guard."

She bit her lip, nodding slowly, the knot resuming its normal place in her gut. "Yeah, I know. It's just that he was so happy to be back, Matthew, and I didn't want to ruin that."

"Fair enough, but this morning?" She averted her eyes, her guilty conscience betraying her.

They sat in silence until Matthew finished eating; her food remained untouched. He stopped and started more times than he could count, wanting to reassure her that things would be fine, but he couldn't find it in him to say it out loud; he knew, perhaps more than anyone, how much a single lie could alter everything. "Tris," he said, catching her just as she turned to leave. "Nothing good ever came from lying." She nodded and spun on her heel, keeping her head down the entire way to her apartment.

She let out her frustrations as soon as she walked in the door, her guttural scream muffled by the pillow she held to her face. Tris cried, hoping that would do it — that she could get it all out in one fell swoop and be done. She splashed some water on her face after a while and then sat down, determined to go through the information on her tablet as best as she could.

Dinner was lonely and uneventful; she expected Tobias to be absent, but not Matthew. She took a few bites to try and keep her strength up, but ended up tossing out most of her food; it made her feel wasteful as she thought about how many factionless could be enjoying what she had discarded during the day.

She meandered through the halls afterwards, avoiding her responsibilities while she still could; she had a feeling the Erudite wouldn't be as lax as they were at the Bureau, if you could even call it that. Eventually she found her way down into the underground, searching for signs of anyone she knew; she wasn't sure if she was relieved or worried to see Amar's gaze piercing her from the far corner of the bar. She saw him take a deep breath before motioning her over; she pulled out the chair across from him and sat.

He eyed her for a moment. "It's a dangerous game you two are playing," he whispered, just loud enough for her to hear over the ruckus to her left.

"Why? Why does everyone keep saying that?" she responded, equally hushed.

Amar shook his head once. "You've made friends with Matthew, that's good. He's an amazing scientist," he said loudly.

She narrowed her eyes. "Yeah. It's been a little awkward, but I'm adjusting. And he's managed to teach me a lot."

"Good," he said, looking her straight in the eye. "If you're ever confused about anything, I'm sure all you'd have to do is ask him."

She nodded, understanding what he meant completely. She went to stand, but he held her gaze as a drink arrived, motioning that it was for her; she decided that she could take a moment, perhaps learn something about the person Tobias seemed to care a great deal for. "He okay?" she asked, sipping her drink.

"Not even close." She set the cup down, its contents suddenly unappealing. "But like most things in life, sometimes it just takes time." She shook her head; another reminder of just how little time she had left.

"Tris!" She tensed at the screeching sound of her name being called, and turned her head to see Ruby and Jones, clearly drunk and making their way towards her. "He said yes!" They held their hands out, showing off the two plain gold bands they were wearing.

"Congratulations," Tris said, plastering a smile on her face. "You already got married?"

"Yep. About an hour ago," Jones answered. "Amar!" he called out, as though he just noticed him sitting there.

"Jones," he said, tipping his glass, "Baker. Congratulations."

"You have to celebrate with us." Tris shook her head. "Please," Ruby begged, sticking her lip out. "It would be your gift to us." She looked at Amar, who merely shrugged.

Tris made Amar join them, too; she wasn't going to be alone in a potentially awkward situation, and she was sure he could find a more tactful way of exiting than she could. One congratulatory drink quickly turned into three, and with the lack of food in her system, she was wobbly on her feet. She tucked herself away in a corner and laughed along with the group, regardless of whether she understood what they were saying, and turned a deep shade of red when someone started going into detail on just how they should spend their first evening as newlyweds.

"It sounds worse when you say it out loud," Amar said from next to her. "Why do all the best parts have the worst sounding names?" She burst into a fit of giggles, unable to get it under control for quite some time. Eventually their talk turned into someone running to find a tablet and videos being passed around.

"O-oh," Tris sputtered, tilting her head and scrunching her eyes, trying to make sense of what was on the video being put in front of her. She tentatively took the tablet and watched for a moment; it was definitely not the educational adventure she was planning on having that evening.

"Once a Stiff, always a Stiff," someone yelled out, causing the group to laugh at her expense.

"Hey!" Amar's loud voice chastised before she could open her mouth. "This Stiff has more balls than all of you put together."

She had no idea where his outburst came from, but they fell silent, the moans and grunts of the video filling the quiet void. Tris gave it one last look before passing it on.

"Thank you, I think," she said once the group turned their focus back to the tablet. She turned her head to see Amar's hard stare, fixated across the room. She leaned up on her toes to follow his gaze and her stomach dropped; Tobias was making his way across the room, sitting down at a table with another girl.

"I gotta go," she said, the light, dizzy feeling she had earlier completely gone. "Congratulations," she said again, before slinking through the crowd and running back to her room as fast as she could.

Amar watched her leave, feeling the hurt of his own rejection mirrored in hers. It took a sharp turn into anger as he crossed the room, making a direct line for Tobias. "Are you dense?" he belted out, catching Tobias off-guard.

"That's debatable," Tobias retorted, looking at Amar like he was crazy.

"What are you doing?" Amar's eyes went from Tobias to the brunette he was sitting with and back again.

"Having a conversation. Amar, just get to it."

"Tris was here." Tobias felt his heart give a hard thump against his chest. His eyes searched the room to no avail. "She already left." Amar's voice was hard, cold. Tobias could see the anger in his eyes, but underneath, there was hurt.

"It's not what you think."

"Doesn't matter what I think."

Tobias found himself getting angry. Amar had no right to accuse him, and Tris had no right to jump to conclusions. Not after what she had done that morning. "I'm allowed to make decisions that don't include her. She clearly doesn't need my input on her choices."

"That's bullshit, and you know it. Stop acting like a two-year-old who didn't get his way. So what, she didn't tell you something. You ever stop to think why that is, Four?"

Tobias let his eyes drop. He knew he wasn't the easiest person to get along with, but that didn't excuse what Tris had done. She had betrayed the trust he had extended to her.

"Who is Tris?" the girl asked. Amar turned his head, leveling Nita with a glare after finally taking a moment to scrutinize who was sitting there. She had always had a thing for Tobias, and clearly he was not thinking straight enough to keep her at the usual arm's length.

"It's not important," Tobias answered. "Now, if you'll excuse us." Amar narrowed his eyes, shooting one last glare at Nita's smiling face before leaving them.

Tobias woke the next morning, determined to shake the melancholy that had settled over him in the middle of the night. The more time he spent thinking about how things had happened between him and Tris, the angrier he found himself becoming; he had let down his guard for her, trusted her with every secret he held, and in return she had set fire to everything they had built.

There was hurt and anger in his every movement, from the way he snatched the shampoo bottle up to the way he dug his fingers into his scalp, trying to scrape away everything about the previous day. The desire to be close to her still lingered, though; he closed his eyes and sighed, trying to make sense of the whirlwind of emotions he was feeling. He pulled his shoes on at a lazy pace, stalling for a moment before he walked out the door. Looking down the hallway towards Tris's unit, his anger came back full force. Fuck it, he thought. He was fine before her, and he'd be fine after her.

He was met with silence and a cold shoulder from Amar when he showed up for work; he had to clench his jaw to bite back the words that were running through his head. It wasn't any of Amar's business what he was doing with Nita, and he certainly didn't owe him any explanations. Tobias glared at the back of his head before snatching up some paperwork and setting out on his day.

Tris didn't need to go anywhere in particular, and she had never been happier about being holed up in her room. Her head hurt as well as her eyes, and a quick glance in the mirror told her she looked as awful as she felt. She sipped on some peppermint tea, hoping to calm the knot that seemed to have taken up permanent residence in her gut. She replayed the fallout of her choices in her head, eventually opting to take a nap to clear her mind and rest her eyes.

It was almost time for Matthew to leave work when she awoke, so she scurried across the compound and knocked on his door, tablet in hand, under the guise of studying. He welcomed her into his office with a warm smile.

"Can I ask you something? It's personal, I think, so you don't have to answer if you don't want to." Matthew had a feeling he knew what Tris was going to ask about. He nodded and fished the necklace he wore out of his shirt, rolling it between two fingers; a nervous habit of his. "Tobias and I…" she stalled for a moment, giving him a bashful smile even though she was certain he already knew. "I understand the Bureau's rules and that we should be careful, but why? Why does everyone keep mentioning it like it's some huge, horrible secret? What are they afraid is going to happen?"

Matthew sighed. It was hardly the topic of conversation anymore, but it was always there, floating around the Bureau as a cautionary tale. He forced a smile for Tris, and took a deep breath. "I came to the Bureau about five years ago. I was the new kid, all smart and cocky. They labeled me a prodigy, since I was barely eighteen at the time and I knew more than most of the scientists they had working for them. It took me no time to settle in, advance, become the guy everyone came to for help. I let it get to my head a little bit, until I met her." Tris could already tell his story wasn't going to end well; Matthew never mentioned a girl, nor did she ever see him with anyone.

"Her name was Sarah. She just radiated positivity and had a smile that could stop you in your tracks. I introduced myself and asked her to dinner, and she shot me down." Matthew chuckled to himself, taking a moment to bask in the memory. "But being the cocky jerk I was back then, I didn't stop asking until she gave me a yes. Even though I knew it was a pity yes, I still felt on top of the world; this beautiful woman had said yes to me. We went down into the underground for our date, and she took a dig at me every chance she got, but it didn't deter me. I think towards the end she felt sorry for me, because she softened up a little, and we ended up having a genuine conversation.

"She ended up laying it all out for me right there, calling me out on my behavior, telling me I wasn't perfect just because I was GP and she wasn't. It stung, but it was the hard slap of reality I needed. I was embarrassed by being called out, of course, but I stopped walking around like I owned the place afterwards, and then it was her that noticed me. She worked janitorial, so she adjusted her schedule just to be around me. I fell in love with her so fast.

"It went on for, oh, six or seven months, until someone approached me, told me I needed to be more careful, that there were rules in place. I shrugged the warning off, because I was still a little cocky. I mean, what was the Bureau going to do without their top geneticist? The same person had approached her as well, and it got her worried. She was worried, about me," he said shaking his head. "But I just couldn't imagine my life without her, so I lied. Told her I had cleared our relationship with the council even though I knew they wouldn't allow it, since GP's have a duty to reproduce with other GP's, you know the drill. Anyway, about six weeks or so after we were approached, she vanished. Nobody knew anything, or so they claimed. I don't know if they relocated her, or tossed her out into one of the cities." His voice was quiet as he added, "Or if they… hurt her." He couldn't bring himself to say the word he really wanted to say out loud.

"Oh, Matthew." Tris reached out and took his hand, fighting back tears. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you…"

"I know." He offered her a half-hearted smile and a squeeze, and for the first time, she noticed the necklace he wore wasn't black, but green — the same green the GD's wore. "Four's a smart guy, though," he reassured. "So I wouldn't worry too much."

But Tris did worry. She had his schedule memorized so she did everything she could to avoid Tobias; if they were apart, then he wasn't in danger. She asked Matthew or Amar if he was okay every chance she got, but they only offered her shrugs and noncommittal answers. It hurt more than anything to cut him out of her life, but it was worth the pain as long as the Bureau wasn't suspicious.

"We've prepared a test for you," David said as she sat down, all the scientists who were working on making sure her insertion into Erudite went smoothly spread out in front of her. He handed her a tablet which flashed a series of questions, ranging from people she should know from Erudite's history to things she should know about Amity. It was decided that since Erudite had no Amity transfers this year, it would be the easiest place for her to have come from.

She passed it effortlessly, having done nothing but study during the past week and a half. With Tobias pushed to the back of her mind, she ended up with nothing but time. The irony was painful.

"I'm glad to see you in such pleasant spirits," David said, taking the tablet and tapping on it. "To ensure your safety and the safety of the mission, we need to disguise you as best as we can."

"Okay…"

"So, as a reward, I thought it would be nice to let you decide."

He set the tablet down and a series of pictures came up; it took her a moment to realize they were all manipulations of her. She scrolled through the options: long black hair, choppy light blonde hair, brown eyes, green eyes. She looked up at the scientists who all seemed eager to learn her choices. "Is this permanent?" she asked.

"Semi-permanent. It's something that will have to be kept up on a schedule — the scientists can fill you in on that — but since the plan is to extract you once knowledge is gained, it shouldn't be an issue. You'll be able to resume your normal look, in time, when you return." She nodded and ended up choosing the picture that looked the least like her, while still looking natural in her eyes. "Perfect. Be at the labs at ten tomorrow morning. You're scheduled to leave at eleven pm, arriving within the city walls just after midnight, and then you'll be on your own. We'll go over everything one last time tomorrow, so enjoy your last night at the Bureau."

Tris nodded and stood, excusing herself to the little room outside of Erudite. She stared at the maps, examining how close yet how far she would be from her parents. A few tears fell as she played some music, but she kept her head high, her resolve to go through with her decision unwavering. Eventually she made her way back to her room to see a tired Matthew approaching from the other direction.

"Oh, thank God," he muttered. "I've been looking for you."

"Why? Is everything okay?"

"It's fine," he amended, realizing how quickly she panicked. "Sorry. I just wanted to wish you well before you left. Drink?" he said, holding up a bottle. She eyed Tobias's door as they passed it, and agreed.

She decided to change into something comfortable: a black tank and sleep pants. Matthew raised an eyebrow at her. "My last night as a 'free woman'," she said, rolling her eyes. "Might as well be comfortable."

Matthew handed her a cup, then held out his own. "Well, then, cheers to comfort." She tipped her cup and took a sip.

"So, you're leaving tomorrow."

"Yeah."

"Have you talked to Four?"

"No," she said curtly, even though she knew this conversation was coming. She wasn't in the mood to be chastised about her decisions.

"You need to. I don't care how upset you are with each other, you shouldn't leave like this."

"It's fine. I'm fine. He'll be here when I get back."

Matthew sighed, and set his glass down. "Tris—"

"Matthew, please. This is stressful enough without..." She paused, huffing out in defeat. "I know, okay? I know."

Matthew nodded. "I know you do."

They settled into small conversations about Erudite and the city, and Tris felt more connected to Matthew than she had at any other point since she had arrived. It was reminiscent of growing up with Caleb; he let her do her own thing, while secretly watching and looking out for her. She got a little emotional thinking about how close she would be to Caleb and how she would have to ignore him.

"Well, I don't think you could be any more prepared," he said, taking her still-full cup from her and dumping it into the sink. "It's getting late. You should try and get some sleep. Tomorrow's going to be a little hectic."

"Thanks."

They stood in front of each other, doing an awkward dance before Matthew finally pulled her in and squeezed her tight. "You're gonna do just fine," he whispered in her ear. "And we'll be here, watching."

She nodded against him, and squeezed back. "Keep an eye on him?"

"I'll do my best," he offered.

Tris watched him walk to her door; she felt like she was losing her family all over again. Tobias and Matthew — and even by some extension, Ruby and Jones and Emma — had replaced the people she loved the most. They were her second family, something she realized would have happened had she stayed in the city and chosen a faction other than Abnegation. It made her smile; she liked who she had ended up with.

"Crap, I almost forgot," Matthew said, turning around. He jogged back to her and pulled a tiny, folded-up slip of paper out of his pocket. "Memorize it, then burn it."

"What is it?" Tris felt her adrenaline spike.

"I can't guarantee it's still active, but it's how David used to contact your mother."

A/N:
I recently saw a post on Tumblr about how some readers think it's odd or creepy or stalker-ish to leave a lot of comments on stories, or comment on older stories, or comment on every story an author has written, and I just wanted to address it for a hot second.

It's NEVER creepy to leave a comment! I'm fairly certain that I speak for everyone who posts stories on here or any other site when I say, we appreciate every single one! It is, for lack of a better term, our payment lol. We do this for fun and in our free time and because we love the characters we write about. But you guys leaving us comments not only gives us a little ego boost (come on now, it does haha), but it also helps us gauge what you guys like and don't like. It can help us decide which way to go with future stories, tell us if we have the portrayal of a character right or if it's just a little bit off, let us know that you prefer X character with Y character. The list is endless.

Don't ever be afraid to leave a comment on any story you read, no matter how old it is. We write them for us, yes, but we write them for you, too.

This has been a PSA. :P