This is going to be a short chapter, not much more than Aedan's letter to Leliana. It's my take on what the Warden's personal letter would be. Don't worry; another chapter will be up soon to make up for the shortness of it. Leliana's POV.

I'm sitting on the floor by the small alcove in the rookery that conceals a statue of Andraste. My face is buried in my hands, my knees drawn up to my chest, and my mind in tatters. Every waking moment, I'm tormented by a soft, crooning voice begging me to go to the Deep Roads to die, and every night, I find myself caught in the throes of horrible nightmares begetting the Calling. I have hardly slept in the past three days out of fear of the dreams, yet the Taint manages to find ways to mock me even when I'm awake. I'm not myself at the war table, and the others are noticing. Josie asks how I'm doing constantly, Arin comes up to check on me when he can, and Cullen has even started taking some of my responsibilities for himself. Only Josie knows exactly what is troubling me, and I'd prefer to keep it that way. If I don't, Arin will question why I had him hunt down Blackwall.

Sadly, I can only wish it were nightmares of darkspawn keeping me up at night. Sometimes, I stay awake in the hopes that Aedan will show up at Skyhold to help the Inquisition. Other nights, I stay awake and torture myself with thoughts of my friends lying dead on the mountainside at Haven. And more often than not, I find myself staring at the floor with a blank look on my face as I wonder why I'm still here instead of with the Agents. Haven't I already made my allegiances clear by telling Justinia to consider surrendering to them? Why do I stay with a Chantry organization when I'm a leader in a heretical army?

When I hear Arin's voice drift up from the library, I scramble to my feet. I try to make it look like I haven't adopted the floor as my new home before the Inquisitor gets here, but I fail miserably. Several things are scattered on the cold stone that should be on my bed, or on my desk, and by the look he gives me, I can tell he's worried.

"Er...are you all right, Leliana?"

"Define all right," I mumble, picking up a report from where it fell.

"You know, mentally stable with a little bit of happiness thrown in."

"I'll get back to you on that."

Arin frowns as I drop rather unceremoniously onto the bench beside my table. He joins me at the opposite side after a moment of hesitation. He asks, "How are you? Truly?"

"Horrible," I say. "Between not sleeping and everything I do, I feel like I'm insane."

The elf offers a weak, friendly smile. "I, uh, I was hoping this would make you feel better." He pulls an envelope from his pocket and hands it to me. "When I tried to contact the Hero of Ferelden, another Warden answered. He didn't sign his name, but his letter said that was for you."

"I...thank you for bringing me this, Arin."

He nods and gets back up. "If you need me, you know where to find me. See you later."

I just nod back, too dumbstruck to do anything but stare at the paper in my hands. Written on the front is my name in Aedan's simple script. He...I...I don't know what to do with myself. I thought he was all but lost to me since the mage conflict in Redcliffe.

I turn the letter over, sticking my thumb under the small flap. It's sealed with the Cousland crest, not the Warden one. The thought that he might be at Highever, or at least was when he sent this, makes me smile. I haven't done that in months. He could be in Ferelden.

I open it slowly, blinking once, before unfolding it.

Leliana,

First off, let me tell you how sorry I am for not writing to you sooner. That was unfair of me and I deeply regret it. I find myself missing your letters as much as you probably miss mine, but when the Wardens at Vigil's Keep presented me with a letter from the Inquisitor for my sister, I had to send a response to him. I have had an urge like no other to send you a letter, but the one I'd been meaning to send seemed out of sorts and inappropriate, so I sat down to write this and the letter for your new boss. How about that? For once, you're stuck following someone other than me or Elissa. Do you like it? I hope he's as good a leader as the Wardens tell me. They say he can close things called Fade rifts! I don't even know what those are, but from the way the people here talk, I take it that's a big deal.

Secondly, I want you to know I'm sorry for not being there to help you cope with Justinia's death. I know she was your friend for the longest of times, and I know you chose us over her, but I can't help feeling horrible. Losing a friend is never easy. I hope her death hasn't caused you too much trouble. I don't even know how to express how much I wish I was with you to tell you this myself.

I should stop with the formalities, right? I mean, I'm writing to Leliana, not the Spymaster of the Inquisition. If I was writing to that other person, I should use them, but can't I pretend for one minute that you're still the bard Elissa recruited to our party of lunatics back in Lothering?

Anyway, my search for a cure to the Taint is going great. When I left Weisshaupt, the other Wardens working with me were close to a breakthrough. I would have stayed, and oh Maker did I want to, but I promised I'd come find you. I gather the First Warden isn't very happy about my sudden departure, not that I care. Much. He's an intimidating man, but I told the others you were more important. I'd rather have a shortened lifespan if it means I could take back the years I was away. This isn't the first time I've wished that I just stayed with you and Elissa and Alistair. At least with you three my life wouldn't be as full of books as it has been.

Have I wrote that much already without once telling you how much I've missed you? I hope not. If I wasn't so tired, I'd go back and read it, but I am so tired it's not even funny. The past two years (nearly three!) haven't been the same without you. I often find myself looking over my shoulder for you, or listening for your voice, only to be disappointed by the lack thereof. I'd say you have no idea how much I miss you, but you (hopefully) miss me as much. I miss the way your face would light up when you were telling a story about something, or the way you would smile when I told you that you were the best thing that ever happened to me. I miss hearing you laugh. I miss your voice. I miss your embrace and your love. I miss spending my nights holding you in my arms. Leaving you is the dumbest thing I've ever done. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me when I arrive at Skyhold. It'll hopefully be sometime soon, but with Elissa gone doing Maker-knows-what, the Wardens need me.

I've stopped at Highever for a brief visit with Fergus and my mother. Did you know he's gotten married again? Why haven't I heard of this? I'd be more willing to expend my happiness for him if it were not for Mother. She's grown ill, severely so, and I fear she has little time left. I'll probably stay here at Highever for a few more days, head off to Amaranthine and deal with the court there, and Maker willing, be on my merry way to Skyhold. Didn't I tell you I'd find you? I made a promise and I intend to keep it. I've never wanted to hurt you (but I know I have) so doesn't that mean I won't lie consequently? You're probably sitting there reading this with a smirk on your face as you analyze how many times I've lied to you in each sentence. Well let me tell you now, not once.

I love you so much, Leli. I promise I'll see you soon.

Always Yours,

Aedan

I read through it several more times, smile widening each time I do. He's worried that I won't forgive him, but how could I not?