This chapter is set right after Aedan arrives at Skyhold for the first time, told from Leliana's perspective. Slightly NSFW.

I leave the tavern after showing Aedan, Elissa, and Alistair to it, intending to return to my bed and get some much needed sleep. It was a long day of planning for the Inquisition's march into the Arbor Wilds, completed by an argument with Morrigan, and then being questioned by Arin about Aedan. I wouldn't have minded so much if he'd just dropped it for another day, but he insisted. He's the kind of person to do that. He'll be serious one second, witty another, but always concerned for others. He has a good heart; he just doesn't know when to leave someone alone.

When I hear someone following me, I freeze, doing my traditional tensing to prepare to hit the person. A hand touches my shoulder.

"Leliana."

I relax, but not by much. I am happy to see Aedan, don't get me wrong, but I'm exhausted, and I want sleep. Maybe to even sleep in his arms, somewhere safe and warm, where I'm just Leliana again. I don't enjoy what I do, killing people and spying on them beforehand, but with the Inquisition, I'm protecting more people than I am with the Agents. Aedan will undoubtedly accompany Elissa and Alistair when they leave Skyhold, but if I can even get a day where I have him, I'll feel so much better. Aedan has never cared what I've done, or who I've wronged. To him, I'm just me. Sometimes, being Leliana is what I need. I need time to let my protective wall drop, to return to the teasing nature Aedan imprinted on me. I rarely get that anymore.

To hell with propriety.

I turn and throw my arms around his neck, embracing him as fiercely as ever. I bury my face in his shoulder. When he wraps his arms around my waist, I let myself breathe again. I inhale a lungful of his scent; he smells of something distinctly masculine, something I've never been able to place. It is comforting to have a shred of my life returned. I have missed him more than I thought possible most days, aching for anything, a hug, a kiss, even a simple smile. His embrace, his very presence, makes everything seem more bearable.

"I told you I'd find you, didn't I?"

I hold him to me, tightening my grip on him. "I don't want to think about that."

He makes a noise deep in his throat. I don't know how to describe it. "That's all I've been able to think of since I left Weisshaupt, Leli. Getting here to make sure you really were still alive." He inhales deeply, sighing. "I can't forget it. I want to, but I can't. It...it's burned into my memory. Seeing you die is something I don't want to have to live through again."

My throat clenches and I squeeze my eyes shut. The memory of him falling flashes through my mind. Nothing has ever terrified me as much.

"Have I ever lied to you?" Aedan asks softly. I feel his lips move as he speaks into my hair and the sensation sends tingles down my spine. Pleasurable ones, ones that don't alert me to the possibility of fighting.

I almost say yes, I almost say something about what he did with Morrigan, but then I realize he never did lie about it. He never said one word on the subject until he told me. "No."

"Did you think I wouldn't keep my promise then?"

"Yes," I admit awkwardly. "I...did not want to get my hopes up."

Aedan laughs, laughs, and pulls back to look me in the eye. Even though it's darker than night out here, I can still see how bright his eyes are. I've never understood how someone managed to have eyes a shade of blue like that, but Aedan and Elissa both do. I could spend hours just staring at Aedan's eyes.

"What's wrong with hoping for something? You're only human, and humans need hope."

I find a joke buried inside of me and say, "So we need your sister?"

Aedan grins before kissing my forehead. "Always so clever. My clever bard." He lingers longer than he should, or rather, than I should let him, but I don't care. This is the first time I have seen him in years. Redcliffe...I do not count it. That was different, and terrifying, and just wrong. I can sympathize with the Templars after what I saw Alexius cause. I even stopped Josie from intervening when Arin sentenced him to be made Tranquil. I have never once believed that to be a fair punishment until we had the bastard locked up in Skyhold's dungeons.

I reluctantly disentangle myself from Aedan's arms. I already feel colder. "I need to get some sleep."

He nods, taking a step back from me. "Of course. I understand."

"But...I'm starving," I add. I reach out for his gloved hand and tug him after me. "Don't tell me you're not; you eat more than you think."

"And you don't?"

I raise a brow as I back towards the steps leading to the lower courtyard. "Did you just call me fat?"

"Mmm. Perhaps. Did I?" His brows knit together and he grimaces. "You and your Orlesian bullshit is wearing off on me."

I laugh out loud and turn to walk him down the steps. "Keep that up, and you will play the Game quite well."

"You act like I want to get involved in Orlesian politics."

I throw him a grin over my shoulder. I feel much more relaxed with him around. "Who knows? You may be involved whether you want to be or not. After all, aren't Elissa and Alistair destined for the Ferelden throne? They'll need ambassadors."

"If you're crazy enough to suggest they hate me enough to make me-"

"A key to having a good ambassador is to have someone familiar to the way the court in that nation works, or is able to learn quickly."

His eyes narrow. "I'll lock you in our room if you even think about it."

I stop walking to face him, giving him my best innocent face. "Why would you do that? There's nothing I can do in there that could even possibly interest you..."

Aedan growls low in his throat. He grabs my forearms before I can stop him and pulls me close, leaning forward to whisper, "If I had you locked in a room, neither of us would ever leave, Leli. I assure you of that. I'd be far too...'interested' to walk away." He releases me abruptly to see my reaction, and from the half-smirk he cracks, I don't disappoint. I shiver at the way he's looking at me, gulping at the look in his eye. "I'm not hungry."

"Um...then you, uh-"

Aedan grins triumphantly. "Such an eloquent bard."

I snap my mouth shut and regain my wits before even attempting to respond. "What in Andraste's name has gotten into you?"

His face softens for a moment. "I've been without you for years. Don't you know how cold it was to sleep alone, or how terrible it was to wake up without you smiling at me in the mornings? I've missed you so much that I can barely think straight now that you're standing in front of me. I've missed the way you frown when I tell you to go away and let me sleep longer. I missed your smile and your laugh. I missed holding you and knowing you're safe, Leli. I wanted nothing more than to be near you again. I don't care what we do, eat, talk, sleep, or even fight. I just want to be with you. And now that I finally have the opportunity to gain what I've lost, I want it."

I blink, swallow, and run through all of my options before pushing his shoulder. "Quit being so sweet."

"No," he says, smiling so widely I can see his teeth. "Do-"

I grab him by his armor and pull him closer, close enough that I can stand up and press my lips to his. I can hear my heart racing in the thrill of the moment, and when he kisses me back, I swear he can hear it too. Aedan crushes me to his chest, groaning in frustration.

"Why is it we're always wearing too much armor?"

"I'd like to not die, thanks," I mumble halfheartedly.

"That's a convincing argument now that I think about it," Aedan agrees. He rests his forehead on mine, eyes closed, as he breathes through his nose. I'm not sure when my hood fell back, or when his hands found their way into my hair, but I don't care. I have always liked the way he runs his fingers through my hair, and I'm not about to tell him to cut it out. It feels too good. I don't want him to stop, or to move, or to let me go. I could stay standing here with him forever and not care. "I love you, you know that? More than anything."

I smirk faintly. "More than food? I suppose I should feel honored."

"Wait, I can love food? Then stand aside, woman. I've got some munchies to sate."

"Munchies?"

Aedan chuckles. "I've no idea. I heard one of the dwarves say it at Weisshaupt. It sounded different."

"Pfft, different doesn't even begin to cover it, Aedan."

He smiles. "Seriously though. Food? Please? I'm starving."

I return the smile and reach out for his hand again. "Fine. Come on." I pull him after me through the various courtyards until we're standing in front of the stables again, and then lead him to the left, up a staircase into the kitchens. The cooks and servants have all gone to bed for the night by now, but that does not stop him from raiding what he can. I bite my tongue to keep from laughing. He shoots me a dead serious look before cracking a grin and I lose it, falling back on the wall from laughing so hard. He sets the loaf of bread he was eating on the table to walk up to me, standing by the door leading into Skyhold's basement.

"What's so funny?"

I shake my head. "Just...your face."

"And how's that funny, Leli? Did I do something wrong?" By the way his eyebrows are risen, and the look he's giving me, I can see his teasing. But instead of giving a serious answer, I stand up on my toes so I can whisper in his ear.

"You sidetracked for food."

When I drop back onto my feet, I see that Aedan's face has paled slightly, much to my sudden wave of amusement. "Was I not supposed to do that?"

"No."

"Oops." He shrugs nonchalantly as he goes back for his bread. "Sorry. Got a Warden appetite to sate. Maybe later."

"I hate it when you tease me."

Aedan grins at me past a mouthful. He swallows before saying, "Maybe you shouldn't be teasing me then. I'd be less compelled to return the favor."

I cross my arms. "You like the teasing."

"So do you, despite the denial. It's...fun," Aedan says. He wiggles his eyebrows, but remains by the table, eating. "I'll quit on one condition, though."

"Oh?"

"You let me stay with you tonight." He's staring at me now, gaze locked on me, daring me to say no. I swallow, surprised, and nod numbly. He shoots me a triumphant grin as he resumes his snacking. "So. What do you have to say? Do I leave?"

I walk up to him and swat the bread from his hand. "If you leave me again, Aedan Cousland, I'll hurt you." He looks hurt, casting his food a sad glare, but laughs anyway.

"Ah, so I take it staying was a good idea then?" I'm close enough that he can wrap his arms around my waist, and I let him. He pulls me against his torso, a brow raised. "I don't like getting hurt. I can take it though. At least...the normal way. Stabbed by a sword or something. I don't want to see how inventive you can get."

I smirk. "It would be simple."

"Oh? And how's that?"

"Are you sure you want to know?"

"I need to prepare myself," he says dramatically. He squeezes his eyes shut and inhales deeply. "Okay, I'm ready. Hit me with it."

"Just how much do you love me exactly?"

His eyes snap open. "That's cold. Ouch. I'm wounded." I throw my head back and laugh. The sound is almost completely foreign even to myself. I've had little reason to so much as crack a smile since Elissa and Alistair left Haven after the Conclave. I need to be the serious one in the war room, or else we'd accomplish nothing. Sometimes I falter and let a joke slip through (like when I told Cullen to shut up and stand there all pretty the other day). Laughing is not...not something I'm used to doing anymore.

"Do you need to warm up?" I ask innocently.

"Well, that depends. Just how will I be 'warming up', Lady Nightingale?"

My eyes close at the tone of his voice. Chills run down my spine. Oh sweet Maker. It's his mocking tone, the one he likes to use when he's trying to get me to be straightforward about what I want. He's called me that before, just once, and it was more exciting than I'm willing to admit.

"However you see fit."

The corner of Aedan's mouth turns up in a mischievous smirk. "Then I hope you've got somewhere for us to go that's more...private than the kitchens."

Aedan passes me into my quarters, wandering up the stairs without any signs of hesitation. I lag behind to lock the door, but follow him up the last flight of stairs only a moment or so later. He's already looking around while he meanders by the railing.

"Always take the high ground?" Aedan asks over his shoulder.

"I like to see what's going on," I say defensively. He just laughs, clearly amused by something, as he turns back to face me.

His face is slightly pink. It takes a moment of his awkward stares for me to realize he's blushing. I almost laugh at the absurdity of it. "You look..." He swallows nervously. His boldness is gone now. The blush has spread all the way to his ears. I cross my arms, raising an eyebrow expectantly. "That armor... I wouldn't object to seeing you in it more often."

I blink stupidly, surprised at the comment, and then laugh. I almost fall over from laughing so hard, and every time I look up at him, his hurt expression only makes me laugh harder. Downstairs, less than ten minutes ago, he was doing his best to ask for sex without saying it, and now he's telling me to keep my clothes on. Maker, this man...some days...

"Now I'm crushed."

I walk up to him, still giggling, and take his hand. "Thank you, Aedan. I feel so ridiculously pretty now that you've told me I look good in my armor."

He grins hesitantly. "You're welcome."

I pull him after me, heading for the door to my quarters. "I've missed you." The words are so simple that I feel like I lied to him. They don't even begin to cover how I felt. I thought he was dead for Maker-only-knows-how-long, and then found out he's alive after spending a year of life in one of the worst nightmares I could ever imagine, only to watch him die a few hours later. All I've felt is heartache since then. It was like those first few months after he initially left, but ten times worse.

I sense the smile on his face rather than see it. "I missed you too. But you already knew that, right?" I look back at him, but his smile has turned back into his sneaky little grin, and his blush has faded. Now that he's not figuring out how to compliment me, his courage is back. The sight of that grin makes my heart beat faster. My blood feels like it has turned to fire in my veins. "Allow me," he says, stepping around to open the door.

"Chivalry is still dead."

He chuckles. "In all fairness, that was the first proposition I got in my entire life, all right? Yes, looking back on it now, I was being thick. Will you ever let me live that down?"

I hum to myself as I toss my gloves on a dresser. It doesn't have much in the way of clothes in it. More books than anything. Books and reports I've decided to file away. "As soon as you let go of my pressed flower collection, and that comment about caramel."

"That reminds me!" I glance back at him from pulling off my chainmail coat to see him rifling around in his pack that he's thrown on a table.

"Nice to see you making yourself at home."

He shoots me a look. "Like you're going to complain." Before I can reply, he presents me with an envelope. "I thought you would want to add to that collection."

"Oh how I hate you some days."

"The feeling is mutual. Now seriously, open it. I missed out on a lot of important things, and was sort of hoping that would make up for it."

I set it aside, saying, "If you want to make up for being away for so long, quit stalling."

"Stalling? Stalling what?"

"Now you're just being stupid."

He grins. "The one thing I'm a master of."

"My master of stupidity and tact," I tease. Aedan's grin broadens as he steps up to me. He knows his way around humor, all kinds of it, and he's comfortable when I tease him. Teasing is straightforward and that's what he likes. I am so used to teasing him so he doesn't feel awkward that I've adopted it as a common practice.

"My master of...spy stuff."

My face falls on his shoulder as I laugh. By the way he looked at me when he said it, I know it was intentional.

"Delaying the inevitable."

"Like an expert," Aedan says, grinning wider. "Better at it than you are."

"Always," I say sarcastically.

Aedan is so close, so painfully close, that all this talking is making me ache. He used to do this, talk so much that I'd get bored, walk away, and then give him the opportunity to work me back into the mood. Except, I'm not in the mood for his games tonight. Tonight, I just want to feel him again, and this dancing is starting to annoy me.

He starts to reply, but I grab the breaks in his armor and pull his mouth down to mine. A laugh rumbles through his chest at my impatience. I don't care. Why would I? He can laugh all he wants. I've been dead to the world for too long. When asked, I'd put on a smile and tell whomever was asking that Aedan would come back, and when he did, that I would be waiting for him. I never once let on that his absence was hurting me as much as it did.

"This needs to come off," he says. I feel him tug on a clasp on my ribcage, so I reach for the one I know will be in the same place on him. He has the one on me undone faster than I do on him. I've never been good at working armor clasps when I have the time to fuss over them. I'm so desperate to be able to touch him, feel him, anything, that I barely have the brainpower to figure out what's what. My lack of dexterity amuses Aedan constantly.

It takes far too much cursing and fidgeting with each other's armor to leave us with any patience whatsoever. The moment we're down to nothing but clothes, he pulls me against his chest again, crushing his lips to mine. I feel him poking at my hip, urging me to pull myself closer, but I stay where I am. If he's going to play games, I'm going to play games. After all, it's only fair...

Aedan's tongue brushes against my lips in an informal request. I'm more than willing to give him what he wants. When his tongue slides across my own, pleasurable tingles run down my spine. He tastes of ginger and something else I can't place.

I slide my hands under his shirt. I feel his muscles tighten at the contact, but he doesn't shy away. My hands find their way to his back, leaving goosebumps on his skin where they pass. It's all I want to just touch him. I just want to know he's real, that this isn't some sick nightmare the Fade has thrown at me. After running my hands all over his chest and abdomen, I'm satisfied that this is really happening, but it's so achingly slow that I can practically hear my heart thumping in my chest.

I start to shift so I can push his tunic over his head, but he moves his lips to my jawline, and I freeze. I lean into him, sighing. His arms tighten around my waist and pull me closer as he trails his kisses down to my neck. My breath hitches in my throat, coming out in little more than ragged gasps, until he finds the one spot that makes me unravel. He sucks on the juncture between my shoulder and my neck, pushing my shirt aside, and keeps at it long enough that a whimper escapes me. His body goes rigid at the noise.

"Again," he growls. "Moan for me." He presses a kiss to the spot before sucking again, slightly harder. The feeling of it has me whimpering and moaning for him within seconds, pressing my body against his in a weak attempt to get closer. We're both still fully clothed and yet he has managed to turn me into a bundle of nerves. I somehow manage to get out his name in little more than a breathy whisper, but the next thing I know, he has spun us around and pushed me up against the table. His hands hold his hips to mine, allowing him to wriggle between my legs and rub on me. A wave of heat washes over my body and I hook a leg around his waist.

"I said moan for me."

He lifts me up and drops me on the edge of the table before stepping between my thighs. He holds me against him as he pulls back, leaving me breathless. My heart is hammering, my blood is burning, and I just want to feel him inside of me again. That's all I can think of.

Aedan practically rips my loose shirt off my body. He groans, loudly, and squeezes his eyes shut. Before he can stop me, I grab the hem of his tunic and pull it over his head. My eyes lock on the scars running down to his left ribcage first, but then I find myself tracing all of the little marks on him. Old scars I know of, and new ones in strange patterns. They are rough and jagged, but as I'm about to ask, his lips are on mine again, silencing any questions before they form.

When I open my eyes the following morning, the sounds of people moving about in the tower can be heard from the library, but not from the rookery. That's strange. Why wouldn't my scouts be out there? They're always out and about before I'm up. I know I get up early, but they're usually awake a little earlier than I am so they can be ready for the day's work at the same time I am.

Then I notice the body pressed to my back and the arm around my waist, and the mutual lack of clothing. The previous night comes back to me slowly, but I see the Warden tattoo on the person's forearm, and manage to keep from rolling over and strangling him. I wasn't expecting to wake up with Aedan right here. It's a pleasant half-surprise, one I'm sort of glad to have forgotten in the few hours of sleep I found.

Wait. There are people out there! They're awake! I get up before everybody!

A fist slamming on the door to the small bedroom confirms my fears. I definitely slept in.

"Leliana! Leliana! Wake up, we've got work to get to!" The Inquisitor. "I let you sleep longer, but now Cullen is shitting bricks in the war room about it, and if I have to hear one more metaphor about what you could've been doing from the Warden , I'll kill the woman. Get up!"

Oh, Elissa is going to pay when I get down there.

"I'm awake, Herald. Give me ten minutes."

I hear him huff. "Ten minutes my ass." Was that...Dorian?

"Fine, but bring that Warden. We need him down there too."

After I'm sure they're gone, I force myself to get up and get dressed. It takes some careful maneuvering to get free of Aedan's arm, and even more to get out of my bed without waking him. I only pull on my clothes before going back over and pushing his shoulder to rouse him.

"What?" Not a morning person.

"Time to get up. I have things to do today, and apparently, so do you."

He grunts. "This is the first time I've been able to sleep in a bed for nearly three years. Can't you just let me have my moment? Please?"

"You can sleep later."

"Ugh, fine," he grumbles. While he forces his way up, I start pulling on my armor. I follow my usual routine in the mornings, dress, comb my hair, things like that, while carefully avoiding looking at the man wandering around doing similar things. I'm done in the span of four minutes, but he's still fussing with his armor, and alternatively, his hair. Some days he can be finicky about that. The sight makes me smile. I end up staring long enough to catch his attention, and when he flicks his gaze up to me, he asks, "Little help here?"

I sigh like it's a problem to walk over and help him fix his bangs while he fidgets with the clasps on his chestguard.

"You're helpless," I mutter, dropping back onto my feet.

Aedan smiles widely, showing off teeth. "That's why I have you. You make me useful." He kisses my cheek briefly. "Now where are we off to, Spymaster?"

"Formalities after last night, Warden? Tsk tsk. We're at least on a nationalities basis."

"All right, Orlesian. Where are we off to?"

"The war room," I say, starting out the door. He follows. The click of the lock sounds behind me. "Your sister has apparently been making colorful jokes about us. the Inquisitor isn't happy."

"What? Why? Were you supposed to be awake by now?"

"Let's just say I'm late and leave it at that."

Aedan sighs. "I'm sorry, Leli. This is my fault and-"

I turn and stop him with a hand on his chest. "You have nothing to be sorry for. Arin will understand after he gets over Elissa taking all of his jokes before he can make them." I stand up to kiss him, but just as it starts to get more heated, I pull away. I smile at the brown-haired Warden. "You'll see, I promise."

Aedan returns the smile and follows me through Skyhold. As we pass through the main hall, I'm thankful that Varric isn't anywhere nearby to say something inappropriate (he would, and then Josie would break her back trying to apologize to whomever he scandalized). We cut through her office and down the hall, past the gaping hole that lets in a wonderfully ice-cold breeze, and finally, into the war room. By now, Elissa has managed to make Cullen and Josie flush, along with Alistair. Arin is chuckling about something as I walk around to my usual place at the table.

Cullen, always eager for something not dirty to be said, jumps at the chance for a topic change. "If you squint, Lake Calenhad looks like a bunny." He tilts his head to the side, doing just that. "Well, sort of." I lean forward and cock my head to the left, eyes narrowed.

Josie sighs. "Commander, I hardly think it's appropriate to say something like that with-"

"Ooh! I think I see it!" I hear the distinctive sound of someone slapping their forehead, so when I look up, I see the Herald standing there, trying not to laugh with his face in his hand. My eyes narrow on him. "What?"

He looks to my friend standing on the opposite end of the war table. "And you want to teach me proper etiquette on how to act around visiting dignitaries?"

Elissa snorts. "Leliana doesn't need etiquette around us. She belongs with this family of lunatics. We don't judge each other."

Now it's my turn to smack my forehead. "You want a lack of etiquette, Inquisitor, talk to Elissa. She's very good at lacking manners."

She flashes me a grin. "My previous comments about you and Aedan notwithstanding-"

Aedan pushes her shoulder to shut her up before smiling apologetically at the other Inquisition members in the room. "I didn't intend to keep your Spymaster late, and for that, I apologize. Now if we could get down to business so I can go get something for breakfast, that would be great."

I shake my head, laughing softly. That's Aedan all right.