Come What May

By: RosexKnight

The Princess and The Spinner have a talk, and both make a decision.

(( This is the second to last chapter and I'll admit it HURTS to see this go! Thank you SO MUCH to everyone who nominated this fic for Best Spinner!Rumple in The Espenson Awards on Tumblr. We made the ballot! Now to win the votes! Please consider voting for this fic when the voting opens up here: ))

Chapter 21

Everything was not alright.

Rumpelstiltskin's frame was trembling against her. Belle realized, deftly, that he was clinging to her. His breath was ragged. For a moment it was the most natural thing in the world for Belle to wrap her arms around her spinner's neck, stroking the back of his neck to soothe him. Until a stark realization hit her. The Dark One's breath should not have been ragged.

"Rumple. What's wrong?"

"Nothing, dearie." He breathed, his hands drifting from her waist and belly to her arms and shoulders. "I only need rest."

"Yes, but why?" Belle insisted.

"Magic. All magic comes with a price. I used too much."

"You've never had this problem before."

Rumpelstiltskin was silent, only responding by nuzzling his face against her neck. They needed to talk, but rest came first.

"Baelfire." Her boy was at her side in an instant, "Get Ruby. Have her prepare a bath ans the bed."

"Is papa okay?" He pressed.

"Of course." Belle said. "You know how funny magic can be. He just needs some rest. Right, Rumple?"

"Yes." Rumpelstiltskin's voice came, cracking slightly against her skin. "Yes that's all I need."

Baelfire nodded, but as he turned to leave Rumpelstiltskin moved, stepping away from Belle to lean against the wooden table. His moves were jerky and desperate, and he looked as if he were ready to chase his son down, if not for his leg buckling beneath him.

"Bae!" His son stopped, turning back to him. "I...I'm sorry, son. Truly."

For a moment, the boy hesitated. Papa looked like himself again. He was favoring his good leg. His eyes were human. His skin still shined in the candlelight but he looked more himself than ever before, and something told him that had to do with Belle. He searched his father, this desperate-looking man that reminded him so much of how he used to be. But more than that, he saw how strong his father had become.

Baelfire didn't hate his father, nor did he hate the magic that turned him into what he had been. It hurt to know he'd been lied to about his birth mother, but now, seeing the desperate soul his father was, he understood. Knowing his mother had willingly left them would have hurt more. Did hurt more. He lied to protect him. Just as he'd become The Dark One to protect him. Just as Belle, Mama, had married the Duke's son all those years ago to protect him and all the other children caused grief by The Ogre's War.

It had all been for him, and the realization had him fighting back tears.

"I love you too, Papa." Baelfire said, stepping forward to embrace the spinner briefly before scurrying off to get Ruby. They couldn't see him cry. That was important for some reason.

Bathing her husband was an interesting experience with her swollen belly and his tender leg, but he didn't complain. He remained uncharacteristically silent throughout the whole thing and it would have worried Belle if not for the humms of pleasure here and there. It wasn't until the bath was over and Baelfire had came by with Ruby and Granny to bid them goodnight that Belle realized how tired she was. Everything ached. Legs, feet, arms, shoulders, back. But Rumple looked better, and the life in her tummy had settled down. She was happy, and the groan she gave when she sat down was involuntary. Never had she been so happy to see their bed.

Her husband was at her side in an instant, kneeling to help her out of her shoes. He pulled them off easily, squeezing and massaging her soreness away from her swollen feet and ankles before bringing the tops of her feet to his lips in a soft kiss, making her breath hitch.

"You're sore all over." Rumpelstiltskin spoke softly. "I'm sorry. I should have been there sooner."

"I'm alright." Belle insisted, humming as his skilled hands moved to her calves. "Just sore. The day didn't exactly go as planned, did it?"

His hands faltered. "No. It didn't."

Massaging, chasing away any lingering pains, his hands moved to her thighs, then arms. She sighed as he worked at her hand, bringing the tips of her own fingers to his lips after he'd given them proper attention. With a start, she realized he was doing this for her just as much as he was doing it for himself. His shoulders relaxed with every stroke and kiss. Here he was, practically worshipping, and he was able to relax only when she could.

"Rumple…" She said as he settled behind her to work at her shoulders. "What's wrong?" He was silent, and when Belle brought her hand up to rest on his, he froze. "Talk to me, my spinner."

Once again, his hands started to shake. They continued, however slowly, against her skin. Finally, he sighed.

"I was afraid." He finally admitted, forcing the words out. She glanced back at him, and his eyes were far-off, focused on something that wasn't there. He looked pained, as if he were fighting something. "My past had come to confront me. Everything they said was true. I was a coward. I couldn't fight in the Ogre's War. I couldn't fight for Milah. I thought, once you and Bae saw me as what I really am, knew I'd lied, you'd hate me."

"Sweetheart, we'd never...You're no more a coward than you are a monster."

"But I am, Belle. I almost lost you. I almost killed them all."

"That wasn't you. That was the darkness."

"I almost gave into it. I wanted to. It would have been so easy…"

"Rumple…" Belle tried to turn and face him, but he held her in place, his hands roaming over her belly. "That doesn't make you a coward."

"Yes it does. I can't let go of the darkness. I need it." He sighed, forcing the words out. It was almost as if it physically hurt him to speak this way. "I can't protect my family without it. I'd go back to being nothing. Just a lame, cowardly spinner."

A giggle rose, and then Belle was laughing. That odd, airy laugh for when he said something absurd. She leaned back onto him, tucking her head under his chin. Once again, Rumpelstiltskin was in awe of her. It hit him just how much he loved her. Inside him, something screamed, but then Belle moved, leaning closer into him. He buried his nose in her hair, breathing her in. It didn't quiet the darkness inside of him, but it helped him push it away. Here he was, fighting the darkness trying not to push his family away, ready to let them go any time they chose to leave without a second thought because...How could they still be with him? Still love him?

And yet, even facing the fact that he might be rendered useless one day, turning truly into dust when they left him, he was a selfish man. He couldn't bare to let them go. But, Belle was making no move to leave.

A hand fell on his cheek, caressing gently. Rumpelstiltskin blinked, his eyes focusing back on her and away from the mocking faces that followed him constantly.

"There you are." Belle said, smiling up at him. "My husband, have you forgotten who it was I fell in love with all those years ago? Back when I was still a princess locked into duties she couldn't ever escape?"

Arms tightened around her as his whole body stiffened. She paused, then giggled once again. Her thumb caressed his cheek. Of course he'd doubt. He always would, she suspected. But oh how she wished he wouldn't, and see himself as what he truly was. But the princess knew her spinner. She knew he would doubt, and she wondered if it was truly him or the darkness.

"I never thought to ask." He admitted. "I assumed...Who could ever love me, Belle? A monster. Somehow, you did. Somehow, it wasn't all a dream. I took you away from your duties. Helped you to run. You wanted for nothing. I thought...Of course you must have fallen in love with the magic. With Baelfire. What princess could truly love a crippled spinner?"

"I do." Rumpelstiltskin made a whimpering noise, one she wasn't sure was out of happiness or caused by more fear. "I fell in love with the spinner willing to run for his family. The spinner who let me run to him when I was afraid. The spinner who saved my kingdom, and me, multiple times now…"

"Belle…"

"I've always seen you, Rumpelstiltskin. My spinner. The magic makes no matter to me."

He nodded, "The curse is breaking...That's the cause of all this."

"That's good, isn't it? This means it's true love."

Rumpelstiltskin swallowed. Sighing he shook his head, but kissed her neck before she could do anything in response but hum. His hands moved, caressing her belly. Below his touch, his daughter moved, kicking. Belle grumbled, but didn't complain. She loved him. His daughter loved him already. Baelfire loved him. And yet, the words of the past echoed.

What kind of man would he be if he couldn't protect his family?

"I have to hold onto it, Belle. Now more than ever."

Belle seemed to deflate. "Rumple…"

"Please try to understand, sweetheart...I have to protect you. All of you."

A pause passed between them, one that seemed to last for far too long. Finally, Belle sighed, nodding. She didn't understand the magic or the curse, let alone what he was going through. She knew all too well what it felt like to be powerless, though. She couldn't bare to tell him to give up that part of himself, even if it was coated in darkness. She would simply have to support him as best she could. Be there for her love, her family, come what may.

"I love you, Rumple." She finally said, her hand covering his on her swollen stomach.

"I love you too, my princess." He whispered in relief. "Thank you."

Belle hummed, but it turned into another grumble as their daughter moved again. Rumpelstiltskin smiled. "How about a back rub, my dear wife?"

The princess's shoulders sagged with more relief than she'd ever felt. "That sounds perfect…"