"Guests of the Inquisition," Alex says pointedly. "You're with them, and you're our guests."

I nod. "I have it memorized, Inquisitor."

"Good," he says, clasping my shoulder. "You be careful, Spymaster."

"You're telling me to be careful?" I ask incredulously. "I'm not the one inviting the three people who would see Orlais burning to the Empress' party."

"And I'm not one of those three people," he says with a sad smile. "So be careful."

"We'll be fine," I insist.

Trevelyan snorts. "You better be. You've got a kid back at Skyhold."

I huff, giving an annoyed eye roll. "Don't you have somewhere to be? Or something to...inquisit?"

His eyes widen dramatically. "Oh, yes, actually! I do! I have this great plan too. You stay here and...er...be Leliana while I go over there and be Alex with my guards. And you keep Elissa from flipping out on the Orlesians."

"I make no promises."

"Excellent!" He turns dramatically before marching over to his guards and starting a conversation with them.

Did he really pull that card? Did he seriously tell me I have a child to worry about like I don't already know it?

"You really want to do this, Elissa? Are you sure that's safe?" Josie asks, brows drawn together. This has been the first time she's come up to the rookery when she knows Elissa and Theorn will be here. I'm not sure why she avoids it when they are; it's not like they scare her. Still, Elissa alone is intimidating. With Theorn playing the part of concerned lover (which Elissa fails to notice) and following her everywhere, she seems like she has a bodyguard. A very tall, very broad-shouldered bodyguard. Even I would be bothered by his presence if he wasn't already a friend.

"If Leliana's going, I'm going," she says resolutely. "It's just as dangerous for her as it is for me."

"You're the heir to the Fereldan throne!" Josie exclaims. "Te-"

"Technically, so am I," I admit with a shrug. "If Elissa dies and Aedan never returns..." I trail off, unable to finish the sentence, when I hear the pitter patter of two small feet running barefooted up the steps of the tower. I quickly compose myself and slap on a smile for the little boy that appears at the top of the staircase.

"Look out; it's Cameron!" Elissa says, doing something similar for him.

Cameron is almost two, but he's already smart enough to know when someone is sad, and pesters you about it relentlessly until he's satisfied that you're not anymore. It's adorable, and usually so cute that he reminds me of his father, but on some days, I don't want to feel better. I want to sit there and suffer through the memories of Aedan, or the memory of my best friend cracking like she did at the Conclave. When Alistair died, Elissa completely broke. She wouldn't say much of anything until after the Herald stabilized the Breach, and then I found her in my tent waiting for me after that very first war council. The Hero of Ferelden looked at me, tried to smile, and broke down in tears right there. I felt so horrible, guilty beyond belief, that I didn't know what to do. I ended up holding her until she couldn't cry anymore, and then I let her fall asleep on my stretcher of a bed before starting my day. The Herald walked in on me as I started to get frustrated with my praying, said he wished he could make life easier, and I demanded explanations for the Conclave. After all, he's the Herald of Andraste. Doesn't that mean he speaks for her? Why would the Maker do this, make His followers suffer?

And then he shot back with a nasty comment about Elissa being a supposed prophet. That only made me angrier, we argued, he left, and when Elissa woke, after crying some more, so did she. Only...she actually left. She left Haven without so much as a goodbye. "I'm going to clear my head," she said. "I'll be back."

I'm not sure if I'm glad she lied. When I look at Cameron, sometimes the resemblance to Aedan that he has is too much for me. I don't see it in Elissa that often anymore, but her and Aedan look very similar if I think about it. Having her near my son while I'm still cringing at how he looks? Not good for me. That's very cringe-worthy, and I don't know if I would've been able to keep from yelling at her about something. I didn't want to have to worry about doing it; she had just lost Alistair to her own stupidity, I was hurting over the loss of contact with Aedan, and I had Cameron to worry about.

"Momma!" The toddler does his little waddle over to us, bringing a genuine smile to my face, and he falls on my knee, arms wrapped around my armored boot tightly. "Gift!" He sounds perpetually excited like most children do as he presents me with a flower he must've picked with Mother Giselle's help. "You like?"

I stare at the flower in disbelief, voice caught in my throat. Elissa's staring at me to read my facial expressions, but I do my best to keep anything bad from surfacing. She knows Aedan's lack of communication is hurting me. She knows. She can tell; we've been thicker since Alistair's death because...what do you do when you lose everyone you love? You grab what you can and protect it. For me, that was Cameron and Elissa. For her, it was what's left of my little family. And by the looks they'll sometimes exchange, Theorn as well.

How could he have known Andraste's Grace would do this to me? Years ago, the flower would have reminded me of my mother like Aedan intended it to. And it still does, but I've often caught myself staring at the flower from afar, or from directly beside the bush, thinking of him when he gave me one during the Blight.

Instead of allowing the flower to sting, I make it remind me of the good memories as I crouch beside Cameron. His blue eyes are wide and his red hair is a mess. Usually that would bother me and I'd make him go get it brushed. Now I just smile thankfully, holding his present to my chest while I reach up to brush dirt from his cheek. His face scrunches up like it always does.

"Momma no!" His chubby little hand tries to smack mine away, but I have already gotten the dirt off.

"Yes, I love it," I say. "Thank you, Cameron."

His annoyed look at having to be cleaned turns to one of pride. "You welcome!" He throws his small arms around my neck and squeezes. "Love you Momma."

A flood of warmth spreads through my body as I hug him back. "I love you too." After kissing the side of his head, I let him go and say, "All right, go on and play."

"Be back suppy!" He toddles off to the steps and runs back down them to where Mother Giselle is undoubtedly waiting for him. I find myself smiling without even knowing it, amused by the way he says 'supper' and warmed by his gift.

"He's so adorable," Josephine says. "He'll grow up to be such a sweetheart."

The thought of it makes my smile widen. "He's a lot like his father in that department."

"If he didn't have red hair, I wouldn't think he was your son," Elissa teases.

"Neither would I."

I follow Elissa and Theorn through the doors of the Winter Palace, keeping my expression tactfully blank. Elissa's in her Agent leathers for the first time in a while; after helping the Inquisition solve the problem of the Wardens, she decided to stay on and offer the Agents to the Inquisitor, and now accompanies me to war council meetings. She stays rather silent, just choosing to stare at the map, arms crossed, with a pained look on her face.

Theorn is wearing the same robes he's always worn, but he doesn't carry his staff. Alex asked us to not bring weapons through those doors on account of our current...status with Orlais. The lack thereof would make us seem less threatening, and in all actuality, none of us truly are unarmed. They are both mages, Elissa has her sword with its magical (and annoying) ability to just appear in her hand, and I have a dagger hidden in my boot, and another strapped to my arm. This armor affords much more maneuverability than the Inquisition armor I wear, but, like Elissa, the Agent crest on my shoulder makes me a walking target. It was Elissa's request that put me in this situation, but I trust her and my abilities to defend myself should the need arise, so I'm wearing armor very similar to hers.

We've barely made it up the initial staircase when the nobles go silent.

"You really do know how to make an entrance," Theorn whispers.

"I walked through a door. These morons are making it an entrance," Elissa retorts. "I haven't even said anything to anyone yet."

"Let's find a place to wait for the Inquisitor to call for us," I suggest, starting off in the direction of a corner that I can hide in. Behind me, I hear the two of them trail after me as I weave through the crowd. The nobles move aside for the most part, giving the three of us varying looks of disgust or shock. We're wearing masks, but by the way the glares are directed the most at Elissa, I gather few people are too stupid to not recognize her.

"If one more person looks at me like that, I'm stabbing them."

"No you won't," Theorn says. "Keep walking."

I feel horrible about Alistair. He was my friend, a good friend, and because I didn't stop Elissa from sending him inside, he's dead. Elissa and I both knew what was in there, and so did Alistair. But Elissa was needed elsewhere, I was to keep the Templars and mages away from her (at Justinia's request) and Elissa wanted a guard in there to keep an eye out for Corypheus. The only person she trusted enough to be that guard was Alistair, and that lack of trust between Elissa and the whole world is what cost him his life. She's come to me at all hours of the day, unable to sleep because her own guilt is killing her, or unable to work without something reminding her of him. It pains me to see my friend so distraught, but there's nothing I can do for her except promise that Corypheus will pay for what he's done.

I'm sitting at the foot of the statue of Andraste in the rookery, staring up at what's supposed to be her face, when I hear the door open behind me. I look back, halfway expecting it to be the door to my room and to see Cameron standing there because of a nightmare, but instead I see Elissa coming up the steps. Wordlessly, she walks over to me and sits, staring at her hands.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

She scoffs. "I could ask you the same question."

"I...was thinking about Aedan," I admit. I show her the letter from him, the very thing she attached for me when the Herald contacted her for assistance after what happened at Adamant. "I couldn't sleep, so...I came out here. I thought maybe Andraste would have answers."

Elissa allows herself a small smile. "I can understand that." She looks up at me, revealing just how upset she truly is. Her eyes are bloodshot and there are bags underneath them. She doesn't even look like she's slept, let alone laid down to try yet. "I was thinking about Alistair." Her voice catches on his name, but I don't mention it. "When we were in the Fade...the demon kept tormenting me with him. It would say I failed to protect Alistair, just like Aedan, Oriana, and even Oren." Elissa snorts a bitter laugh out as she shakes her head. "Everyone I love ends up dead. Aedan... I hope for your sake that he returns soon."

"I'm sorry," I whisper, tearing my gaze from hers to look back up at the statue.

"You would think being like Her would get me answers," Elissa says. "The Maker doesn't tell me anything anymore except that I'm not working on killing Corypheus hard enough."

"I don't know what to tell you, Liss. He allowed the Divine to die. He allowed Alistair to die. All we're good for is dying."

"About that," she says, "He did tell me Alistair's death was my fault. That if I had done what I was supposed to in Kirkwall, He would've found a way to save Alistair. But...since I didn't, Alistair's death was my punishment for failure."

"And...that's the first time you failed, yes?" When she nods, I say, "That's harsh."

"You were there when He told me He went out of His way to keep us alive, even going so far as to kill someone else instead," Elissa says. "He didn't want to wrench someone else away from their loved ones for my mistakes. So Alistair died like he was supposed to, and I get left with bittersweet memories of the man I love." She laughs, unamused, and looks away. "Incentive to get revenge, He said. I'll give Him credit, revenge is a good motivator."

"It got you through the Blight, didn't it?"

"For the most part it did," Elissa says. "There wasn't a better feeling in the world than when I ripped Howe to pieces." The sardonic smile on her face as she looks back to me...it sends chills down my spine. Elissa doesn't have many contacts to track people down, but she's determined enough to hunt someone to the ends of the earth if they wronged her. If the Herald thinks people fear me, he should meet Elissa's enemies. Corypheus doesn't fear the Inquisition; he fears the Grey Warden sitting beside me. "But enough about me. Let's talk about you. You seem just as distraught."

"I'm fine," I insist.

"No, you're not," Elissa says. "You couldn't look at Cameron today. Why?"

"He...he reminds me of Aedan sometimes," I say. "How am I supposed to tell Aedan he has a son?"

She laughs quietly. "The same way Morrigan did? Send me on a hunt with Talith for a month, and then have me come back with news that he can't ever see the kid?"

A smile breaks through my wall. "I can't do that to him though. Don't you remember how upset he was when you told him?"

"You weren't even there," Elissa says.

"No, but he told me about it. He could barely talk, he was so upset."

"Then let's think about this logically," she says, trying to be somewhat amusing. It doesn't work; she's too upset for it herself, and I'm not in the mood. "Aedan doesn't like Morrigan at all, yet he slept with her when he knew it would produce a child, right? He did Morrigan's ritual because he didn't want to die if he killed the Archdemon. He wanted to stay here because you're here. And despite his dislike for Morrigan, he loves that child with everything he has."

"You say he did it because he didn't want to die. Have you ever stopped to consider he did it so you wouldn't die?"

Elissa nods. "That's beside the point, Leliana. If he can love a child he doesn't even know, why can't he love Cameron? Aedan's not the kind of man to run away when he sees a child. He loves children. He might not admit it, but he's wanted a family as much as Alistair did. Growing up, our parents hated me for my magic, and lived in fear of Aedan showing the talent until the day my father died. All Aedan and I have ever had was each other. He wants someone to love who'll return that love. And by the way you're sitting there because you miss him, I'd assume you love him too. So if he loves you, and you love him, I don't see the problem with telling Aedan that you have a kid."

"It's just...I wouldn't know how to begin," I say softly. "I didn't tell him I was pregnant or ever give any hints that I wanted a family. We're Wardens. Wardens don't have children with anybody, least of all other Wardens. How do I explain-"

Elissa rests her hand on my knee and offers an encouraging smile. "It's not impossible for Wardens to have kids, Leliana. Yeah, it's harder than a dwarf's skull to have a family with a non-Warden, and it is really rare for two Wardens to have children, but it is possible. And before you ask, Aedan told me in one of his letters about a pair of Wardens he met at Weisshaupt that have a family together. So he knows. He might be surprised, but it'll be all right. I promise."

The way the Orlesians in here frown, I know they're not pleased. Even with her mask, I can see Celene's face contort into an expression of disgust when she sees us. We're behind Alex's companions in introductions, but I'm fine with that. This way, I get to watch the crowd for any signs of trouble. Fortunately, most of the Orlesians seem focused on the three of us and not the Inquisitor.

"And as personal guests of the Inquisitor himself..."

Elissa smirks when the man's voice cuts off in shock. "Damn straight you bastards."

Theorn is looking around nervously. "Perhaps Josephine was right, Elissa. This is a little dangerous, walking into the Winter Palace when we're at war with Orlais..."

"It's a statement," I whisper.

Before I can continue, the man recovers himself to announce my friend. "As personal guests of Inquisitor Trevelyan and the Inquisition, the...the, ah...the Agents of the Maker."

"Too scary?" Elissa mutters, raising an eyebrow. "Good. They should be afraid of us."

"The Commander of the Agents and of Ferelden's Grey Wardens, heir to the Fereldan throne, and the Hero of Ferelden-"

Elissa frowns. "Do I really have that many titles?" I shoot her a look to shut up.

"-Elissa Cousland." The room erupts in polite applause, probably an attempt to appease the mage marching up to face the very woman who would rather see her dead. Elissa bows the same way the Inquisition did, but lingers beneath the Empress a little longer than she should. The two exchange dirty looks; Celene is appalled by our presence and Elissa is appalled by being here. But like I said, this is a statement, and it's important.

While Theorn is announced, I do a once-over of the crowd for anything suspicious. The right side of the balcony is rather quiet and calm about their annoyance, but the left side isn't nearly as polite. They whisper to each other, saying things about us under their breath.

At the very end, closest to Celene, I swear I see Morrigan just as she turns away. I can't do anything to investigate that though. I hear my name and I walk forward like I'm supposed to, stopping beneath Celene. I bow, start back to Elissa's side, and hear her say, "Leliana is an Orlesian name. You would turn your back on Orlais for Ferelden?"

"Fereldans aren't self-centered," I say coolly. Then I march back to Elissa, spin on my heel, and clasp my arms behind my back.

"You're playing a dangerous game," Theorn whispers out of the corner of his mouth.

I know I am. I have to be careful though; I don't want to get myself killed and leave Cameron without both of his parents.

The procession back to Skyhold is met with a messenger as we start across the bridge. I'm not anywhere near the Inquisitor as he takes the man's missive, so I miss what's going on, but the way he looks back at Elissa and I...I don't like it. I resolve to ask Alex about it as soon as we get into the keep.

"What do you think that was all about?" Elissa asks.

I shrug. "I don't know. I will figure it out when we get inside though."

"Good," she says.

Her and Theorn fall back a few feet while I make an effort to get closer to the Inquisitor. I don't get anywhere near him until we're standing in the courtyard, and by then, he's calling us for a meeting. I give an inner groan as Morrigan strolls past, Talith and the boy on her heels. Morrigan will undoubtedly be there because of Celene's insane notion that Elissa and I are trying to corrupt the Inquisition.

"Leliana?" Alex's voice snaps me back to the present and I turn towards him, brows knit together. "Can I speak with you? Privately?"

I don't like his tone. "Of course, Inquisitor. What is it?"

"This came for you," he says as he pulls me off to the side. "It was from Highever, I think. And there's something-"

Just as he hands me the letter, a little voice cries, "Momma! Momma! You home!" The toddler appears at my side a moment later, arms stretched upwards. "Up! Up Momma! Up!" With a sigh, I reach down for Cameron and pick him up. He wraps an arm around my neck, smiling widely. "Miss you, Momma."

"I missed you too."

The toddler grins before looking over to the Herald and saying, "'Ello, Inky!"

Alex smiles and holds up a hand, so Cameron smacks it. "Hello, Cameron! Did you keep Skyhold safe while we were gone?"

"Yeah sir!"

Alex and I laugh. "Did you feed the birds?" I ask, giving my son a serious look.

"Birdies!"

"Yes, did you feed them?"

"Yeah! Miss big doggy! Scare the birdies a lot!"

I frown at him while Alex rejoins the other three advisors to speak with them. "Big doggy? Who did it belong to?"

"Templar! Look for rats, he say. Find birdies and dirt." He giggles. "Lots of dirt, Momma!"

I roll my eyes, not at all surprised by his response. "You just love getting dirty, don't you?" Cameron giggles again. "Fine, have it your way. I'll come get you for lunch in an hour. Now go play." I kiss his forehead before setting him on his feet.

"Bye bye!"

As I watch him run off, I cross my arms to keep the warmth from going away. During those first few months, I was terrified. I was sick and upset all the time, scared of what having a baby could mean, and how unfair it would be to the child for bringing them into a world like this. But when I first held him in my arms, all the fear in the world wouldn't stop me from protecting him. I didn't know I could love someone as much as I love Cameron until I saw Aedan's blue eyes staring back up at me.

I would do anything for that boy.