HAPPY AUSTRALIA DAY!

Well it was yesterday, but I'm still in the mood.

So I re-wrote this chapter about 3 times and I'm still unsure about the last part of it, so sorryyy. Also, it could be a few days until the next (and final omg) chapter because I haven't actually thought this far ahead; I assumed the perfect ending would just pop into my head but it actually hasn't, and now I'm stuck.

Anyhoo, enjoy and please review.
Geishaaa ~~~

… … …

Chapter 9: Ichigo.

Ichigo and Rukia landed on the roof of the Kurosaki family home and clinic, directly above Ichigo's bedroom window. They had travelled in silence, the events of the night weighing down on them. Ichigo had been through the emotional wringer tonight; he hadn't expected to lose it like he did but all threads of mental strength had completely snapped the moment he caught his falling boyfriend in the sky.

He adjusted his hold on his unconscious lover, and motioned for Rukia to jump down through his window first. He followed her in a second later, pausing only to kiss his lover's forehead and brush a stray strand of hair away from his eyes.

Landing on the bed with a small bounce, he quickly hoped off and placed Toshiro down gently on the mattress. He allowed a wave of guilt to wash over him as he stared at his boyfriend's bloodied body before finally straightening up.

"Rukia," he called softly before his friend had a chance to leave the room, "Can you help me get his sword out from under Zangetsu?"

She complied, silently drifting over to him and carefully threading the wrapped up katana out from its spot between Ichigo and his own zanpakuto. There was a slight tap as she leant Hyorinmaru against Ichigo's desk, and turned to leave. She was probably trying to give him some space.

"You never told me," Ichigo stated, turning around to face Rukia, whom had frozen at his door, her hand already on the doorknob, "You never told me your opinion of my relationship with Toshiro."

She didn't get the chance. Renji had reacted instantly, making his judgement very clear to all those in the room. Rukia did not get the opportunity to make her views known, what with that abrupt interruption (read: slap) and all. After Toshiro had dragged Rangiku out of there, Ichigo hadn't given either of his two best friends the time to say anything more as he stormed downstairs to hide in the kitchen with Yuzu; they wouldn't dare approach him around his family. Ichigo was curious as to what her attitude on the matter might be, although there was a chance he was just going to end up even more upset by asking her.

"Rukia, please tell me honestly what you think…I need to know where you stand."

Rukia slowly turned to face him. Her eyes were filled with nothing but sadness and regret as they shifted between Ichigo and a sleeping Toshiro. She was silent for a while, but eventually she answered him.

"I was pretty shocked, I admit, but I can't side with Renji on this one."

"Why not?" Ichigo raised an eyebrow.

"He didn't spend the day with you like I did. You were happier than I've ever seen you, how could I possibly come between you and whatever was causing it?" She answered, shrugging a little, "Also, I don't believe the rumours about Captain Hitsugaya; it's a common misconception about ice wielders, we have ice in our souls, yes, but not in our hearts. It's obvious that he loves you too."

Ichigo stared at her for a while. She was telling the truth, he knew, because Rukia never lies to the people she cares about. He inhaled a shaky breath and nodded to her.

"Thank you."

"Don't thank me, Ichigo, I should be apologising to you," She said, guilt shining through her violet orbs, "I'm sorry, I should have told you earlier…and I should have stopped Renji."

"No," Ichigo shook his head, "Don't be sorry for that, we both know what he's like; brutally honest."

Rukia grimaced. She walked up to him and gave him a big hug, well as big a hug as a midget like her could manage. He was glad to have her support, but the embrace was bringing back to the surface all the emotions he'd been forcing down since they arrived home. Why do warm hugs always turn you into a blubbering mess? He'd done enough crying tonight and certainly did not want to start back up again.

"Get some sleep, Ichigo," She whispered, "He isn't going anywhere."

He nodded and pulled out of the hug, heading straight for his closet; he did not want her to see him lose it again, to which he was coming dangerously close. He also wanted to find something he could change Toshiro into as he couldn't handle seeing his baby dragon in that stained uniform anymore.

He heard the door click shut as Rukia left the room and he allowed himself a shudder as the tears once again welled up in his eyes. Damn it, he cursed inwardly, he was supposed to be strong.

After some digging, he found an old shirt and a pair of now too-tight on him sweat pants. He also ducked into the bathroom quickly to get a wet cloth. Returning to his little lover, he sat down on the bed next to Toshiro's lithe body. He tried not to think too much as he slowly pulled the captain out of his wet and sticky uniform and tossed it aggressively to the side. Ichigo's breath hitched as he saw the extent of the blood that had dried on his milky skin, and frowned deeply as he slowly wiped it all away.

Orihime had done an exceptional job; there wasn't even a scar. Good, Ichigo did not want to be constantly reminded of it; reminded of the time that he almost lost control to his hollow, causing this whole mess, and reminded of the time he watched uselessly as his boyfriend lay dying in his arms after saving his worthless life.

"Toshiro…" Ichigo croaked as he wiped the last of the blood, sweat and grime off and disposing of the cloth in the same manner he used the uniform. Ichigo pulled the clean clothes onto his boyfriend's body; they were way too large but it was all he had until Rangiku dropped by tomorrow with Toshiro's gigai.

Speaking of gigais, where the fuck was Kon? He'd probably run off with Rukia's Chappy. Ichigo did not have the energy to go chasing him now, but he hoped the stupid mod soul would at least look after his body tonight.

Ichigo found himself some clean pyjamas and quickly changed into them. It felt weird to change out of his soul reaper uniform as he so rarely did it, normally just jumping back into his human body. He climbed into bed with Toshiro, and cuddled the small man close.

He couldn't believe that he had almost lost him that night. To make matters worse, it had been his fault. He still hadn't learnt to control his inner-hollow and as a he result, he had lost control of himself during battle. His stupidity had almost cost Toshiro his life and for that he would never forgive himself.

Ichigo was suddenly struck with an awful thought; what if Toshiro never forgave him either?

He choked back a sob as he propped his chin up onto his boyfriend's crown. A thousand thoughts ran through his head at lightning speed. Why couldn't he handle this? He was strong, he did not cry. He didn't understand, he had experienced death before, he should have known…

He had experienced death before.

His mother had died saving his life. Toshiro had almost died saving his life.

His mother had been limp and bleeding out on top of him. Toshiro had been limp and bleeding out in his arms.

Ichigo shuddered at the comparison.

He was tired; so, so tired, but he could not sleep. The only thing running through his mind – other than the flashbacks of earlier that night – was the fact that he knew that he could not live without Toshiro. The icy captain meant the absolute world to him and he was absolutely positive that he could not have gone on living if he had lost him tonight. It was a scary thought, being so dependent on someone.

Eventually, Ichigo did fall asleep having found solace in the crook of Toshiro's neck; the steady pulse against his face a comforting reminder that he had not lost his everything.

… … …

Ichigo awoke early, blinking his eyes slowly to see the bright of early dawn coming in through his window. He felt a soft tickling on his arm as a dainty finger traced light patterns on his skin. It felt nice.

Toshiro!

His eyes shot open faster than a bullet out of a gun. There lay the small prodigy in his arms, one of his hands playing aimlessly with Ichigo's arm while the other fisted his shirt.

"Toshiro…" Ichigo whispered, the memories of the previous night coming back to him.

Toshiro shifted to look up at him. Exhausted teal orbs met concerned brown. As tired as he looked, his boyfriend did seem happy to see him, a very rare smile forming on his features.

"Hey," Toshiro responded softly, rubbing his eyes as he nestled against Ichigo's body. Ichigo thought he looked adorable when he was only half-awake, but today he was too worried to think about it.

"I nearly lost you," He croaked.

"I nearly lost you too, Ichigo."

Toshiro pushed himself up until he was lying on top of Ichigo's chest, their faces level. Ichigo was very aware that his boyfriend had just called him by his first name which was not something that happened very often.

"I was afraid, Ichigo, when I saw Grimmjow go for you, and I don't ever feel like that," He said, looking down as he spoke, "I…I didn't know what else to do."

Ichigo hadn't really thought about how Toshiro had felt on an emotional level during the ordeal; he had been too focused worrying about his physical health.

"You have no idea how terrified I was, seeing you fall out of the sky and covered in blood like that," Ichigo told his lover, the tears once again making a comeback, "I'm so sorry, Toshiro, it was all my fault, I didn't…I…I'm sorry."

Toshiro's eyes flew up at the sound of his cracking voice. Ichigo couldn't hold back the tear drop that escaped his eye. Why couldn't he stop this damn crying?! The fear, the guilt, the sadness and anger; it all kept coming back to him in waves and he didn't know how to stop it. He was drowning.

"Ichigo…" Toshiro whispered comfortingly as he placed light kisses on Ichigo's face and wound his arms around his neck, "It's okay, whatever happened to you wasn't your fault, I'm sure you didn't want it to happen. And I'm here. I'm still here, Ichigo, and I'm not going anywhere, okay?"

"I have an inner-hollow, Toshiro!" Ichigo snapped, his anger at himself pouring out, "I have a hollow inside me and I nearly lost control to it during the battle. It's because of me that you almost died. How can you love someone with evil inside them?"

Toshiro tensed. Ichigo had never mentioned the hollow before, so he was probably either extremely mad or even a little scared. Whatever it was, Ichigo knew it couldn't end well from here.

"I know you have an inner-hollow, Kurosaki," Toshiro glared at him, "Captain Kuchki informed me. It wouldn't have been necessary though, I felt it in your spiritual pressure during your fight with Grimmjow…The first fight that is, and of course, last night as well."

Ichigo felt a lump form in his front. Toshiro knew? He had forgotten that Byakuya knew; he had found that out during their fight in the Soul Society all those months ago when he'd been trying to save Rukia. So much had happened since then.

"I wasn't aware that your control over it was so limited, otherwise I would have brought it up with you when this mission began, but you should have told me yourself," Toshiro spoke softly, his head coming to rest on Ichigo's chest.

"I'm sorry," Ichigo mumbled, unsure what else to say. He was sorry for keeping Toshiro in the dark. He was sorry for not having control of his hollow. He was sorry that Toshiro had gotten hurt because of him.

"It's okay," Toshiro muttered, "We'll figure this out and we will find a way for you to learn how to control it. Whatever it takes, Ichigo, I'll be there."

Did Ichigo mention that he was the luckiest guy in the world? He hugged Toshiro close, so unbelievably grateful for having this man in his life. He had expected Toshiro to scream at him, to shun him and leave him, but he hadn't done any of that, he hadn't even hinted at it; he said he was going to stick by him the whole way. Ichigo was surprised that the captain had been so calm about this; he could only imagine that Toshiro had seen how much of a mess he was and had taken pity on him.

He grinned and pulled his lover up to kiss him enthusiastically on the lips. Toshiro joined in, happily returning his kiss. It was soft and gentle, passionate and loving. It was beautiful. Ichigo was so utterly glad to still have Toshiro after this whole catastrophe – both alive and still dating him – and by the way Toshiro was kissing him back, he was probably feeling similar.

"Ok, nap-time now, kisses later," Toshiro said, pulling back to yawn, "We can talk about the hollow issue later."

"You've been asleep for hours, Baby, how are you still tired?" Ichigo smirked as he wrapped his arms around his tiny waist.

"Apparently being unconscious due to injury is not the same as actually sleeping," the captain replied grudgingly.

Ichigo chuckled as he pulled the blankets back up over both of them.

"Get some sleep, Babe," Ichigo whispered, "And thank you…for everything. I love you so much."

He felt Toshiro smile against his throat.

"I'm sorry I scared you, Ichigo, but I can't promise I won't do the exact same thing if that situation ever presents itself again."

"I won't let it happen again."

"Good."

A minute passed and Ichigo had thought his boyfriend was once again asleep as his breathing was deep and steady against his chest, but then Toshiro spoke up once again, his voice a soft whisper.

"I love you, too."

It was the first time he'd ever said it.