A/N: Thanks to rosiesbar for taking an interest in this story and reminding me how much I loved it. Merry Christmas chick, I hope you like it and I hope I can get another chapter out in the not too distant future.
Warnings for torture in this chapter and worse things to come. I may have said, but this is not a happy fic and I'm just warming up.

Chapter Two.

Even though his eyes were fixed on the wall Hawkeye was painfully aware of BJ sitting silently behind him. It wasn't until he heard his friend sigh and walk from the room that Hawk let himself roll slowly onto his back with a low groan; holding his body rigid on his side made him ache in more places than he cared to think about. Gingerly settling onto his back Hawkeye stared bleakly at the ceiling and ran through his options. This didn't in fact take too long.

Option one was stay put and play at being the obedient patient. This would lead to BJ finding out everything, a talk with Military Intelligence, BJ knowing everything, a series of lovely little chats with the esteemed Dr Freedman, dammit BJ would find out… All in all option one included a few inevitable events, but Hawkeye was damned if BJ was going to discover the extent of the torture inflicted upon him in the three days he had been lost. And at some point someone was going to ask what happened to Major Burns.

Option two, now option two was bound to hurt BJ a little, but in his current mindset Hawk was prepared to risk a little pain if it meant the BJ continued a life of blissful ignorance. Gritting his teeth and steeling his nerve Hawkeye inched himself up on his elbows and called to the duty doctor who was hovering by the door. Refusing to be drawn into conversation Hawk brusquely requested to see Colonel Potter and he collapsed back onto the bed as soon as the doctor hurried away.

Colonel Potter walked out of post op in a daze and had to lean against the wall once he was out of sight. When word had come that Captain Pierce wanted to talk to him he had known that the meeting would not be a bunch of fluffy muffins; what he hadn't known was quite how seeing Captain Pierce in his current condition would affect him. Face pale and closed down, eyes filled with shadows, the man on the bed had looked less like Benjamin Pierce and more like a faded ghost of a human being.

Getting a hold of himself after a horrible second in the doorway of post op the Colonel forced himself to walk forward and sit down next to the bed. He shuddered involuntarily at the twisted grimace Pierce made in place of a smile and it took all his strength to not to stare at the blood-tinged bandages covering the man. Mentally giving himself a shake Colonel Potter cleared his throat and bit the bullet so to speak. 'Pierce, I know words won't make a difference so I'll simply say it's good to have you back. What can I do for you?'

At the Colonel's question Pierce made a strange noise, somewhere between a cynical laugh and a sigh before answering, 'Colonel, I know that Military Intelligence is probably already on its way. I know the pointy-heads need to get their precious info in cases of capture and I have some conditions around the inevitable interview okay?'

Not leaving time for a response Pierce continued, 'BJ needs to be taken off my case and replaced by Dr Bentz because I can't deal with the conflict of interest. He's not going to like it, but right now that's just tough. Also, I'm sick of the stares from all the nurses coming through post op so I'm going to need a curtain or something for some privacy. And Colonel…'

Pierce's voice dropped to a whisper causing Colonel Potter to look up sharply, 'Colonel, I really need… Is it possible to post a guard to make sure that no one tries to bother me while I'm recovering for the MI interview? Please, don't make me say any more, I just need some time to get myself together…'

His mind reeling after a whole monologue from Pierce without a punch-line Colonel Potter simply nodded his acquiescence to the injured man's requests. His assessment of the situation was that more was going on here than a simple capture and escape and he was disquieted by the profound change that had come over the man known as the Camp Jester. For another long moment he studied the drawn and tense expression on Pierce's face and vowed to himself that he would find out what the hell was going on.

Standing up slowly Colonel Potter locked gazes with Captain Pierce and let him know that he would get his time for now, but that the hard questions would come later. 'Alright Pierce, you've got it. Give me an hour to get your curtain set up and I'll post Corporal Horwitz as your watchdog. I'll need to set up a roster if you want a continuous sentry service, so tonight I'll give you a list of who will be outside your curtain. I called Military Intelligence earlier and they will be here in two days which should give you time to compose yourself. If you need anything Pierce just send your guard to let me know.'

Potter took note of the unguarded look of relief on Pierce's face as he nodded and he reaffirmed to himself his determination to get the whole story of what had happen to the man. 'I need to get back Pierce and as you don't want visitors I'll respect that and stay away. I'll be there for the interview though to keep the 'pointy-heads' as you call them in line, so unless you send for me I'll see you in two days.'

Hawkeye just nodded to show that he understood and was already withdrawing into himself as Potter turned to leave. Totally unnerved by the whole episode the Colonel had to sit down when he got back to his office and pour himself a generous drop of gin he had previously liberated from the still in the Swamp. Seeing Hawkeye Pierce in such a state shook Potter deeply, mainly because he viewed the Captain as the strongest person he had ever met and partially because Pierce without his humour and ready smile just wasn't Pierce.

Potter pulled his paperwork over to work on but eight hours later when BJ barged in he had only written half a page and was staring into space. The conversation with his irate surgeon served to take his mind off of Pierce for a short period of time, but when BJ stormed back out again Potter could only sit and stare into space again. An hour later a glass flew through the air and shattered against the wall when Sherman realized that he had left Pierce without even thinking of asking about the whereabouts of Major Burns and that the silence of the Captain on the subject did not bode well.

A babble of voices alerted Hawkeye to the arrival of the latest batch of borderline corpses into the care of the erstwhile doctors of the 4077 and hidden behind his curtain he stared at his hands willing them not to shake. After a day and a night of having his senses assaulted by the smell of blood and the pained sounds of the wounded Pierce had somehow managed to gain some semblance of control over the tremors that periodically wracked his body but he still couldn't stop the flashbacks that swept him away without warning. The particularly agonised scream of a young soldier sliced through Hawkeye's mind and suddenly he was back there. Right back there.

Nothing was clear, there was only fragments of sensation registering in his tormented brain. The cold bite of steel around his wrists… An earth-shattering scream fading into a broken sounding gurgle… Cold dark eyes staring at him impassively… The smell of blood everywhere, that pervasive metallic stench…Everything whirling around in his head like a hellish maelstrom, inescapable, uncontrollable.

Jerking himself from the horror-filled darkness of his memories Hawkeye had to bite his tongue hard enough to draw blood to avoid making a sound. Once the urge to scream his lungs right out of his chest had passed Hawkeye let out a shuddering sigh but couldn't seem to make his tension filled muscles to relax. Fists clenched Hawk tried to force himself to become Captain Benjamin Pierce so that he would be able to contemplate the utter joy that would be the meeting with the CIC the following day.

First, Hawkeye thought with a mental sneer, he would need to cobble together a story that would satisfy the CIC prod-noses without leaving his own ass swinging in the wind for all to see. That would be a monumental task in itself as the CIC were professional questioners but already Pierce had the outline of the almost true story he was going to spin so at least he had a start there. Second, and much more difficult, he had to figure out just what in the fuck to say to BJ when his friend finally lost his shit and simply barged past the guard and through the curtain that was his only protection.

In the hours it took him to even look like falling asleep Hawkeye had crafted and polished a tale he was confident would satiate the incoming delegation of pointy-heads and ring true to Colonel Potter. Lying back on his uncomfortable bed and staring into space Hawk began trying desperately to think of some kind of bone to throw BJ to keep his friend from figuring out just what had happened. Just the thought of the look on BJ's face if he knew… No, if it took a week Hawk was damn well going to think of a plausible white lie to hide his secret.

For two days BJ walked around the camp like a tiger with a spear shoved somewhere unspeakable, snapping at the nurses and spending every minute not working shut in the Swamp. At regular intervals he contrived new reasons to assault the metaphorical wall surrounding Hawkeye Bloody Pierce but every time he was rebuffed and his anxiety and frustration grew. Midday on his day off BJ was sitting the Swamp with a mug of alcohol, fully aware that his best friend was probably in the process of facing the CIC and he wanted nothing more than blot everything out until he had to get up for his next shift.

Seated in front of the two starched Lieutenant-Colonels in Sherman Potter's office Captain 'Hawkeye' Pierce did a credible imitation of a recovering survivor of enemy capture. In a firm, steady voice Pierce recounted for the CIC's records and for Colonel Potter the story of how he was travelling to the 8063rd with Major Frank Burns for them to do a spell as relief surgeons when they were ambushed on the road. He told of the explosion that threw them from their jeep and the forced march into the jungle.

Both CIC officers and the Colonel were leaning forward in their seats but for once Pierce was oblivious to his audience. Though he did everything he could to keep his voice level Hawkeye couldn't stop the quaver in his words as he forced himself to tell the next part. 'They took us to an underground bunker where they chained Frank and I to the wall and left us overnight. They didn't even bother asking us anything, just threw us in a cage and let us stew. You know, at the time I thought that was the bad bit.'

With a stifled groan Hawkeye shifted in his chair and let his gaze drop to the floor but he didn't lose the flow of his story and continued, 'T-then they came back in and strung me up like a turkey, trussed me up in ropes and hung me from the ceiling. I could've handled that if they hadn't… If they hadn't taken Frank. They just dragged him away into the next room and there was nothing I could do…'

Assailed by memories Hawkeye had to pause for a second and in a choked voice he recounted the most horrific thing he had ever experienced, 'They did things that I couldn't see but they made him scream for hours. I struggled so hard trying to get free that I think I tore a few tendons, but it was nothing compared to what Frank went through. One of them came through after maybe four hours and cut me down… Sherman… Oh god I'm sorry… That's when they brought Frank back in. He was just a bundle of torn flesh, blood and protruding bone…And he was still breathing.'

Hawkeye could barely see through the tears coursing down his face but he knew that he had to get this damn interview over and done with. His voice was hardly recognizable as he growled, 'I was tied there on the floor and they made sure I could see as they methodically broke his bones… He couldn't even scream anymore, I guess his vocal chords had haemorrhaged. Then they… I…'

His voice only just audible Hawkeye whispered, 'One of them was the leader, a stone cold sonofawhore. When the bastard decided I had stared at him for long enough he swung his rifle up and blew off Frank's face like it was nothing. Goddammit Frank was still staring at me… Like I could have done something. Should've done something…'

Visibly pulling himself together Hawkeye clamped down on his violently surging emotions and sat up straighter in his chair. Heedless of his shell-shocked audience Captain Pierce finished telling his very near truthful account, 'Once they killed Frank and d-dragged his body away, they started asking me about troop movements and beating the living hell out of me when I couldn't tell them anything. I guess I fooled them into thinking I was more far gone than they thought because by the third morning I had worked my ropes loose enough to run like hell when they fell asleep at the same time. I don't even know how I made it back here but I can remember seeing someone at the gate and it all going black.'

In the deafening silence that followed his dreadful story Hawkeye met the eyes of each officer with his cool blue gaze and said with a tightly controlled tone, 'Is that what you wanted to hear gentlemen? If you have any further questions we'll have to reschedule. I'm still recovering and I think I need to lie down now before I pass out.'

Neither of the CIC agents could summon the powers of speech and Potter looked like he had been hit with a frag grenade. When Hawkeye rose awkwardly from his seat and walked from the room in dead silence no one moved so much as inch to stop him. On shaky legs and suddenly finding his breath coming in shallow gasps Pierce just made it to his curtained off bed before he stumbled and fell to his knees, unable to keep himself upright any longer on legs drained of strength.

Barely with it enough to fumble behind himself and yank the curtain closed, Hawkeye didn't bother trying to get up and simply wrapped his arms tightly around his waist in a desperate effort to hold himself together. Hawkeye could clearly see in his mind's eye the looks of shocked disgust that had decorated the faces of both the CIC men and Colonel Potter and he couldn't help but imagine the reaction had he actually told the full story of his ordeal. It took almost ten minutes for his tremors to subside and only then was Hawkeye able to drag himself onto the hard cot that passed for his bed.

Hawkeye rolled over to face the wall and stared blankly at the dark green canvas, his thoughts running riot through his head. Inevitably his thoughts turned to the man he called his best friend and Hawkeye gritted his teeth in a twisted snarl at the thought of what he would see on BJ's face if he ever told him what had really happened in the dark Korean jungle. Drowning in the storm of horror and self-hatred that roared in his head Hawkeye found that two things remained clear, the over-riding need to hide the full truth of what had happened to him from BJ and the knowledge that he definitely wasn't ready to face his friend.

Fighting against the weight of tiredness dragging at his very bones Hawkeye forced his brain to cooperate and he began to try and think his way through the minefield that would no doubt extend through the next few days. Because he was expending half of his energy to keep the insidious flashbacks at bay it took Hawkeye almost an hour to come up with a plan that he was even part way satisfied with, but eventually he took a shuddering breath and rolled onto his back. Closing his eyes Hawkeye gave up his fight against exhaustion and simply clung to his plan to get back into surgery as sleep and the nightmares closed in.