This chapter will end up switching to Elissa's POV briefly for nasty possession-y reasons. It starts out in Leliana's, though. Thank you for the suggestion, Serithus!

Blackwall was a liar all along. I knew, and so did my friend, but neither of us said anything.

"I'm a Warden," he said.

No, no you aren't. Not until you drink that blasted blood and spend countless hours of your nights writhing from nightmares of darkspawn. 'Grey Warden' isn't just a title that can be dropped on you; it's a responsibility, it's what you are. It's not something you just become, like a Templar.

And as bitter as I might be about being a Warden, even I don't like people masquerading around as one of our order. I don't like liars (oh, the irony) and Blackwall...he told the biggest lie there was ever to tell.

"I was in Ferelden during the Blight," he said.

Perhaps, but you definitely weren't there to fight the darkspawn. If you were, you would've died at Ostagar and we'd never have had to deal with your lies in the first place.

"I don't fear the Calling," he said.

I wonder why?

"I was to become a Warden, recruited by the real Warden Blackwall, but he was killed, and I assumed his mantle."

You won't become a Warden now. Not after that. We may accept any, but without any other Warden to command them, the Orlesian Wardens have fallen under Elissa's command, along with what few Fereldan Wardens remain, and not even she would allow someone pretending to be one of us into the order. No, she'll have him killed first. She's a lot like Alistair in that respect, believing the Wardens are above recruiting people who don't deserve anything more than their grave.

And I honestly can't say I believe otherwise myself. When Riordan suggested that Loghain, of all people, Loghain, the man who betrayed the Wardens and King Cailan at Ostagar, become a Warden, even I reeled, and I was still several years away from joining myself.

"A noble cause to dedicate yourself to," Justinia had said when I told her. "The ideal is what Wardens fight for, is it not? Who you were before matters nothing to them, as long as you're willing to kill darkspawn."

I had nodded, said that despite how angry I was with being one of them, I was proud to some degree, and happy the rest of the Wardens had been ecstatic to accept me into their fold.

"Fought the Blight?" Sigrun, that Legion of the Dead rogue Elissa and Aedan had recruited, asked. She gave me a once over, studying me, or appraising me, something, and nodded quickly. "Good as a Warden can get. Allow me to be the first to officially welcome you to the Grey Wardens." That...was the last time she was ever so serious around me, but it meant more than she probably realized.

And Blackwall wasn't even honest about how much of a Warden he really was. Nothing more than a recruit, acting as if he mattered more than he really did.

I had gone down to him that first night he was in Haven, had to actually track his lying ass down because I couldn't sense where he was. I was furious, seething, and demanded to know what it was he thought he was doing. And him, not knowing that I was an actual Warden, asked me what I was talking about. I had stepped in his face, eyes narrowed and hands on my hips to keep from strangling him.

"You're not a Warden," I hissed. "And don't tell me you are. I am a Warden, and I know for a fact you're not." He'd had the decency to look nervous at that comment, something I still get a sick smile of pride over. "Our papers—how did you get them?"

He shook his head, handed them over without being told to. "I just want to help."

"That remains to be the only reason I have for not sending your miserable ass back to the Hinterlands," I snapped.

From then on, he would cast me wary glances every time I passed, and Elissa would glare at the liar with me when we were both out and about around Haven. "Darkspawn tunnels have been sighted in the area," she said as she passed him once. "But I don't suspect you'd know anything about that, right? Too busy helping the Inquisition." She sneered, marched past him and hit the Herald with her shoulder on her way past. Arin had looked at me, questioned why Elissa and I hated Blackwall so despite him being right there, and I simply told him the man was a liar, and went after my friend.

When Elissa asked me to head out to Crestwood to meet the Champion for her, I incapacitated several Wardens shouting that I was a traitor, made a quick sprint through the small town, and hid in the cove Elissa had said Hawke would be waiting for me at. She didn't show up for several days, and then she came with the Inquisitor and his party of lunatics on her heels.

"Leliana? Where's Elissa?"

I was too busy glaring daggers at Blackwall. I had left my typical armor behind in favor of my Warden leathers, and by then, Arin was wide-eyed, Blackwall was probably mentally cursing himself, Dorian was more or less unfazed, and Sera just shrugged and said something about breeches.

"You're a Warden?" Arin demanded.

"You think there might be a reason I was always out looking for darkspawn around Haven?" I retorted. "I nearly died in those blasted mountains, and only survived because I joined the order."

"Why didn't you tell us?!"

"There were more important things for both of us to worry about, and besides, you have your Warden." My gaze had flicked back over to Blackwall, narrowed my eyes, and sneered. "He seems to know what's going on most of the time. Why don't you ask him how he feels when he goes to sleep every night?"

I went through explaining me and Elissa's theory about Corypheus, and when Hawke asked if I was hearing this Calling too, all I could do was nod. "I know I'm safe from it, however. I haven't been a Warden very long. Seven years, give or take a few days."

"What about you, Blackwall?" Arin was concerned for his friend, and the instant the words left his mouth, I had tensed, prepared myself to hit that lying idiot harder than he had ever been hit. "Are you hearing the Calling as well?"

He hesitated, glanced at me, and shrugged. "I don't fear the Calling."

I had pulled him aside afterwards, glowering at Arin to keep him from joining us, and whispered, "If you're going to pretend to be one of us, at least make it look good." Then I shoved him off and refused to explain myself to the Inquisitor, saying either Elissa or myself would meet them in the Western Approach.

It ended up being the both of us. And Arin showed up with his Warden friend in tow. What we walked into...it was horrifying. A Tevinter magister putting the Wardens under his control, ordering them to kill Elissa and I for betraying them, saying they were raising a demon army to go into the Deep Roads and wipe out the darkspawn forever. Hunt the two remaining Archdemons down before they could awaken. I wanted to laugh, say there was one buried under a forest and old ruins for them down in the Korcari Wilds.

The magister had scrambled off after Arin shot back with a flick of his wrist, leaving the seven of us to fight off more demons and Wardens than I thought possible. I climbed up onto the railing to get a better view of the fighting, had a shade come at me, and nearly fell off before Elissa could come get it back.

Elissa...more like Hope sneering about how stupid I am.

A half a second later, I shot an arrow right between a rage demon's eyes, keeping it from burning her in a flash of fire and ash. The spirit just glared at me before finishing it off with Elissa's sword, and leapt back into the fray, coming ridiculously close to decapitating Blackwall on more than one occasion.

It took some shouting afterwards, desperate pleading on my part, to get Hope to release my friend, and she collapsed on me when the spirit finally relented. She apologized to all of us personally if she came close to hurting us, but Blackwall, she just stared at blankly.

I remember thinking to myself... This could be a problem.

It ended up being the biggest problem I've seen in my entire life. Not even the Blight could compare. If I had the option between fighting an Archdemon and fighting Hope, I'd take the Archdemon without a moment of hesitation.

We went to Adamant after that, and...Elissa could barely contain the thing living inside of her. Hope has never been happy around blood mages and demons, made Elissa act strangely around them every time I was with her and we encountered them. Hope wants them all dead, and there's very little keeping her from getting her wish; Elissa has admitted to hating mages who give themselves over to demons just as much, if not more than, as Hope does. She only tried to control the damn thing because there were Wardens inside that weren't going along with Clarel's brilliant plan.

But the instant her fellow Warden-Commander got shredded by Corypheus' dragon (I know for a fact that I killed that damn thing, but look! Not dead! Fantastic.) she lost it. Not that it mattered. We were thrown into the Fade right alongside Hawke and Arin, naturally meaning the Inquisition's resident Warden went with us.

And in the Fade, there's no holes barred with Hope. It took more effort just to keep Elissa from killing Blackwall than it did to get to the rift to get out.

I don't hate anything more than I hate spiders. Why did it have to be a spider?

Still...I volunteered to stay behind to give them all the chance to get out. So did Elissa, and so did Hawke. Hawke claimed it was her fault this happened because she released Corypheus (once again, Elissa nearly flipped) but Elissa wanted to stay because we were only here due to the Wardens' stupidity.

"A Warden should fix this, and you need Leliana alive," she had said.

"The Wardens need someone to lead them out of this mess!" Hawke retorted.

"They'll have Aedan!" she snapped.

Arin...he chose Hawke to stay behind. Elissa was far more important to Thedas than Hawke was, and Hawke said it herself, she had no one left back in the real world. It was Arin's reasoning to keep those of us needed alive, and leave the one who wouldn't be missed so dearly.

Hawke and Elissa...they didn't get along very well after Leandra died, and I could understand why. But the two had embraced right then and there before Hawke chased us all out of the rift.

Elissa later admitted to me that she felt she could've fought the fear demon off and made it out with Hope's help. We all could've walked away from Adamant, Varric would still have his friend, and Carver... Hawke had thought him dead when we found his body. We got out of the Fade, and not a moment later, he came running through the crowd looking for his sister. Not dead, but wounded. A healer had revived him while we were traipsing through the Fade.

We got back to Skyhold, and I actually shed a few tears for the Champion of Kirkwall. But that mourning, the depression that comes with it, changed to fury rather quickly, and when it was announced that the Wardens were only allowed to stay in Orlais and Ferelden so Arin wouldn't need a new Spymaster, I was done. Elissa was just as furious, I was ready to punch the elf, and we both shut ourselves off in the rookery.

It wasn't until Arin came asking for my help to get Blackwall out of prison that either of us really left that tower.

And the irritation between the two of us, the pent up need to pummel something, came back full-force when Blackwall returned to Skyhold.

The corner of my mouth turns up in a sneer as I stand off to the side of the main hall, Leliana right beside me. Neither of us have seen it fit to return to our normal armor, and when they drag that miserable bastard into the room to be judged, my sneer turns into a glare. I don't understand why I hate the man so much, but Leliana seems to, and I assume it's Hope's feelings on the matter anyway.

Still, I wouldn't like the man on my own regardless. Pretending to be a Grey Warden just to keep from being arrested? Pathetic.

I think Arin is going to imprison him, maybe get answers before shipping him back off to the Orlesians, but then he says he wants Blackwall—Thom Rainier—to be given to the Wardens. For a moment, I'm not sure I heard him correctly, but when Leliana snaps to know why in hell he'd think we wanted that man, Hope flares.

That was the final straw.

"The Wardens accept all, do they not? If this man was supposed to join your order in the first place, should you not take him now?"

"What makes you think—"

It hurts so much to keep Hope in check. It's a war in my own head, and I mean that as literally as I possibly can. I feel myself go completely rigid and my eyes squeeze shut, shaking from just how much effort it takes.

I know killing him is wrong, but the urge is so strong... I can barely contain myself.

"Remember why the Wardens are still here, Spymaster," Arin snaps.

And that's it. I falter for a half a second, and that's all Hope needs to take over.

"You have no right!" she shouts furiously. "The Inquisition is nothing more than a renegade army overstepping its boundaries! Do not threaten what you have no right to keep!" The words are out of my mouth, but it's not me, and while I agree, I'd never be dumb enough to say something like that.

I take a step forward and Leliana reaches for me, but I shove her off and march closer.

Behind me, she shouts for the guards, and scrambles to tackle me before I get too close. She strains to keep me down, but I inevitably overpower her, and pin her to the floor by her arms. Her eyes are wide with fear, and somewhere in the back of my mind, I faintly feel terrified for her. But right now, all I care about is just how scared I can make her, and just how many dead guards it'll take to make Arin see sense.

I bring up a fist to knock her out, but a hand locks onto my arm, and jerks me off her surprisingly easily. I throw an elbow back at them, but they duck and push me away from Leliana and the Inquisitor. The familiar sound of a sword being drawn surfaces, and as I turn to face them, I extend a hand for my own weapon, rolling my fingers on its hilt.

Cullen.

"Stupid Templar. I should've killed you in Kirkwall."

He sidesteps closer to Leliana, offering her his free hand behind his back. He pulls her up without taking his eyes off me, and without lowering his sword.

"Move before I fix that mistake."

"Drop your sword," he says.

I blink once, surprised he'd even suggest such a thing, much less think I'd actually do it, and laugh. "You first."

"I don't want to hurt you. Drop the sword and we can forget about this."

I twirl my blade, straightening a bit. "Hurt me? You can barely throw me."

A few Inquisition soldiers shuffle to his side, standing between me and the rest of the room like that's going to keep the nobles safe.

"Elissa please," Leliana says. "Let us help you."

"Help me? I don't need your help. I need to make a point."

She steps out from behind Cullen to come closer, hands out to show she's unarmed. I want to laugh, but I don't. I only narrow my eyes suspiciously. "Give me the sword, Liss." She steps closer, holding her hand out expectantly. "I know you don't want to hurt anyone. Please."

"You seriously underestimate just how furious I really am."

"Look, I understand that you're mad at Blackwall, or whatever his name is, and I understand why you're upset with Arin. But you can't just go off and kill people when they hurt you. It's not right." She wiggles her fingers. "Please. Just give me the sword and we can all walk away happy and uninjured."

I shake my head. "I can't do that. I'm sorry that it came to this." Her eyes widen as I lunge, but she spins out of the way before my sword can hit her. I quickly turn and revert to swinging at her neck. Leliana ducks, hooks her foot behind my knee, and pulls. As I go to fall, she jumps up and reaches for my sword, but I catch myself with my left hand and whip my weapon out at her chest. It glances off the silverite plate protecting her and she staggers back, eyes widening in horror when she seems to realize I'm serious.

And that's when I see the rip in her shirt sleeve, and the large gash stretching over her arm. She doesn't understand what I'm staring at until she follows my gaze. Leliana looks more confused than anything at the red stain on her shirt, and even more confused at the blood running down her arm. She looks back at me, a hurt expression on her face, tears in her eyes.

"What's happened to you?"

I march up to her and she takes a few steps back, covering the wound in her arm. With a shove to her shoulder, I force her to her knees, place the edge of my sword on her neck.

"Elissa, please. Look at yourself. Look at what you're doing." I press the tip of the blade into her skin and she winces, shying away. Frost covers the side of her neck, freezing the trickle of blood to shards. Her arm is turning blue from how cold the sword was when it got her. "I'm your friend."

"I have nothing."

"Yes, you do!"

My eyes narrow. "I am alone, as always. I'd have it no other way."

She sighs and hangs her head. "Then kill me."

As I bring my arm back, I'm struck by how familiar this is. It reminds me of Kirkwall, when I had Anders on his knees before me, broken and bloody like she is now. He was my friend, and I killed him without a moment of hesitation. I had been ready to do the same to Leliana only a few hours before then, and only Cyrus had stopped me. The fear of killing someone closer to me than Anders snapped me out of Hope's control, but it was too late for him. Anders was dead, and there was nothing I could do to bring him back. He deserved to die for what he had done, but he was my friend when Aedan and I were in Amaranthine, and I killed him. Killed him without batting an eyelash.

That's what I'm about to do now, but with someone I consider family.

I had been terrified that I would have killed her if it wasn't for Cyrus, and here I am, holding a sword to her throat.

I look back down at her, but the glow from Hope is gone. She notices at the same time I do, looking at me nervously until my hand snaps open and my sword falls away. She leaps to her feet and grabs me in the best form of a hug she can. Her right arm doesn't move, but she gets me with her left one, and I cringe. I almost... I just...

"Thank the Maker," she says. "I thought you really would do it for a minute there."

"Wait...what? You wanted that to happen?"

"I didn't think you'd actually kill me," she says. "I have to put my faith somewhere, and you haven't let me down yet."

I laugh once, bitterly, and throw my arms around her. She yelps, but I don't care. "Thank you. For...being a good friend."

I don't think she knows what she just did. She may understand that she kept Hope from hurting everyone, but she saved everyone from dying. I was so close to giving into that thing, and she stopped me.

I don't think I'll ever be able to thank her enough.