Warning: The story contains spoilers for season 3, 2 and 1

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or the plot of Chicago Fire and Chicago PD. I do not own the lyrics of the songs used. I do not own the text taken directly from the show. This story is intended for fun only and I am not making any money with it!

Chapter 11

Casey got home after his shift and the surprising talk with Boden in a very bad mood, Chief walking a step behind him. They knew he was alone in the apartment, even though Erin had spent the night in his bed after their cinema date.

They found Severide sat at the dining table, sipping his morning coffee and trying to solve a rather complicated Sudoku in the paper…a pile of pieces that had once formed an article in the paper- on the table. Both Matt and Boden recognized Hadley's face and bits and pieces of the headline…a headline they've already seen in the morning paper Mills had gotten…a headline about a firefighter who had been put in jail by mistake…

"Morning." Kelly mumbled as casually as possible, his eyes darting between his fellow lieutenant and Boden.

"You've read that article?" Matt remembered every single word of it. The whole firehouse had read it, many people voicing their opinion, adding quite a few cynical remarks…

"No need to, Casey! I was there!" Kelly's harsh tone softened after he noticed the pity in Chief's look. "I don't care about Hadley anymore."

"Yeah, I can see that." Truck Lieutenant snarled, referring to what had once been a whole page in a paper. Without saying anything else, Matt grabbed his bag and walked into his bedroom, throwing it on the bed. He wasn't angry because Kelly had lied to him, wasn't angry because his friend was apparently not trusting him enough to admit what the judge had ordered him…he was angry because his best friend, brother, had reached the bottom and was stuck there, not even trying to find a way out.

His eyes fell upon a photo of Gabby and Shay, asleep on the gurney in the ambo. Matt shook his head, muttering a curse…he couldn't give up on his best friend…because of Shay, because of Kelly…because they were brothers and he knew that Severide would have done the same for him.

When Truck's Lieutenant returned into the living room, Kelly was goofing around with Chief, trying hard to prove he was okay, when in fact, he had been once again awoken by Hadley's face appearing in his dream at 6am. He had taken an hour long shower and had cooked breakfast for Lindsay afterwards in a desperate attempt to forget about the people who had messed up his life, but his mind had ended up dwelling on Kevin and Spellman many times in the last three hours.

"How was shift?" Severide directed his question to Matt, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Quiet…Squad's got a new addition." Casey said firmly, disappearing into the kitchen and returning a minute later with two mugs of coffee.

"Who?"

"Scott Rice." Boden replied, finally deciding to take a seat, Truck's Lieutenant doing the same. "Said he is ready…I believe him."

"He's a good guy, Chief, deserves the chance." Kelly really meant what he said.

"Yeah, maybe you should learn something from him." Boden barked.

"What's that?" Squad's Lieutenant frowned, having a feeling where the conversation was heading and not liking it.

"He could heal only after he got the courage to admit to himself he needed help…for his and his kid's sake…you've got enough reasons to do it, and yet you're fooling yourself you're okay."

"I'm fine Chief!" Kelly growled, getting up, preparing to leave the room, not wanting to get into another fight with them.

"Someone who's fine does not ignore court orders!"

"What?" Severide barked, his eyes widening…all he wanted was to forget about the trial, Hadley and Spellman, and yet what everybody did was to remind him of the nightmare.

"Dr. Shaw called - " Casey's voice died out when Kelly raised his hand, already agitated.

"No shrinks…I'm telling you I'm fine and ready to return to full duty!"

"It's not up to you…or me!" Boden rose to his feet. "Chief Tiberg wasn't very happy that one of my lieutenants nearly killed an ex-firefighter in front of the firehouse…but out of respect for the firefighter you are, and for your father, he's willing to overlook the assault and won't fire your ass if you take your life in hands."

"Chief, I've put everything behind…no need to talk to anyone, I'm - "

"You're not fine!" Boden finished in a high pitched voice. "Do you realize that if you don't call that doctor today, you'll be charged with assault?!"

"CFD will kick you out the same way they did with Spellman…you wanna end up like him?" Casey added.

"Great…you know what, just call Erin and ask her to arrest me!"

"If that's the only way to get you to talk to somebody, I will!" Matt tossed the harsh remark, his feelings clouding his judgement.

Kelly simply turned around to hide the pain in his eyes…"If that's your way of having my back, Casey, don't bother…"His voice trailed off before he stepped to the couch where his black leather jacket was. "I've got work at the boat yard." He uttered, walking away in silence. Letting out a snort, Matt kicked the chair closest to him, his eyes focusing on his superior when Chief's phone buzzed. The conversation he had took only a few seconds, but the relief on his face told the Truck Lieutenant that something positive had just happened…

"It was Herrmann. Luke's breathing on his own."

Casey let out a sigh of relief. "Thank God!"

"The doctors still need to test him for brain damage, but…Luke's a fighter."

"He is…Look, Chief, I meant what I said. If getting Severide arrested means he'll get help - "

"I've got a better idea."

Xxx

As Erin climbed the stairs and walked to her desk, she noticed that all heads were turned in the direction of Voight's office. "What's up guys?"

"Commander Fischer's in there…it's about the arsonist." Ruzek replied, not taking his eyes off Voight's office door.

Lindsay did not need to hear anything more. She dumped her coat on her desk and made her way to her boss' office, knocking on the door once before walking in.

"Detective…" The Commander looked at her with arched brows, not happy that she was disturbing them. "A closed door usually means that whatever's going on inside's private." He added with annoyance.

"You tell her everything you told me!" Voight barked standing upright behind his desk.

Commander Fisher shook his head, deciding that he might as well go ahead, as he was sure Hank was going to update his team anyways. "First of all, it wasn't up to me…it was decided that there is not enough evidence to proceed with the arsonist case and - "

"We know who's responsible!" Erin growled, starting to feel helpless.

"You've got no proof! Just a hunch's not enough in our job!" Fisher reasoned, but the stern look Lindsay gave him told him that he had made it into the top three of her "to hate" list.

"Kelly Severide - "

"Is mentally unstable, on suspension, with a court order to visit a psychiatrist…his testimony won't stick in any court!" The Commanded finished Lindsay's sentence with a huff. "You have to stop wasting resources on this case and focus on the three ongoing ones that require Intelligence attention."

"Good people died because of the arsonist! A little boy is in the ICU…the life of the best firefighter I know is a mess…" Lindsay's voice died out when she realized that her words wouldn't change the Commander's mind.

"I'm sorry. The case is going cold for now…if new evidence emerge we'll talk again." Fisher turned around to leave, and no one said anything else to stop him.

Voight and Erin walked out the office a few seconds after the Commander, Hank looking at each and every one of his team members before speaking. "Listen to me now! I don't give a damn what he says. We'll work 24/7 if we have to, but I want that arsonist either with a life sentence, or in a coffin, understood?!"

All people nodded, everyone muttered "yes". Because, after all, Fifty-one was family, and you don't give up on family.

Xxx

Hours after Kelly had began repairing the motor of an old, crappy boat, he finally managed to start it. It was far from done, and frankly said, Kelly did not care about it at all. But it was giving him the so much needed distraction from the problems and it was all he could ask for.

What he did not know was that a set of eyes had been watching his every movement…the eyes of a man with no soul or heart…the eyes of Kevin Hadley. Ex-lieutenant Spellman had been following Casey all day, and was now observing the Truck's Lieutenant as the later waited for Scott Rice to meet him at the parking lot near the boat yard…

"Sorry I'm late." Rice apologized when he and his son got out of his car, the kid examining his father's colleague with interest. "My mum was supposed to watch the little man but she's got a stomach bug."

"In that case…how about we go over there to the big yacht and see if can have a look inside?" Casey smiled widely as he looked at Scott's son first and then pointed a shiny yacht not far away from where they were. "I have a feeling we might find pirates there!" Actually, the owner of the yacht was his and Severide mutual friend.

"Please?" The boy looked at his dad with pleading eyes.

"Okay, but you'll be a good boy and won't go anywhere without Matt, okay? Daddy needs to a find a friend now."

"Okaaay."

"Thanks for doing this." Matt said gratefully. He suspected that Kelly was still mad at him for his words in the morning and was not entirely sure if it was appropriate for him to hear what Rice had to say to the Squad's Lieutenant, so he was going to leave them alone for a while.

"A year ago I was where he is." Scott smiled sadly. "But the little soldier here needs his father."

"You're doing a great job." Casey reassured him, "You know where to find him?"

"I do." Rice patted his son's shoulder before heading to the east end of the boat yard, his eyes fixed on the figure of the man who had done the impossible to get him on his feet after his wife's death…

"Crap!" Kelly cursed when a small bolt slipped out of his hand and fell into the water. He reached out to take a new one out of a box next to him when he heard footsteps. Looking up, he was greeted by the face of a man he had not expected to see.

"Hey, Kelly." Rice said in a quiet voice, extending his arm so Severide could grab his hand and get up.

"Casey sent you?" Kelly muttered, knowing well who had told Scott where to find him.

"Good to see you, too." Scott preferred not be one of the many people telling the Squad Lieutenant how everybody was worried sick about him. "Haven't seen you in a while…miss the drunken nights out."

Kelly shook his head and motioned for his friend to sit on the small bench a few inches away, then sat on the wooden surface, taking a deep breath. "Yeah, sorry about what I said at Shay's funeral, it was just - "

"Tough?" Scott finished the sentence, remembering the last time he had spoken with Kelly, on the worst day of Squad's Lieutenant's life. "I know, been there. No need to apologize."

"If you're gonna tell me how you've managed to pull through and how I should do the same, don't waste your words." Severide snarled.

"No…I'm gonna tell you that admitting I needed help to myself was one of the hardest and most rewarding things I've ever done...one evening I came home wasted, found out that my mum had taken Logan away from me…I was a danger to my own kid, Kelly!"

"Great story." Kelly's sarcastic comment could not stop Rice from saying what he had in mind.

"That night I was alone in the house, had managed to push everyone miles away…there was nobody to tell me how I needed to fight, or get help…You know what I realized?" Scott did not wait for the reply. "That I'd been falling into a bottomless black hole so deep that no one could pull me out magically. I had to either reach out and take the help everyone's been offering, or I could keep sinking deeper and deeper until it was impossible to come back."

"It's different - "

"It's not!" Rice uttered harshly, getting Kelly's full attention. "First the angst, the anger, then denial, but deep down you can't forget, the demons are still there, you can't stop seeing their faces, hearing their voices…everybody notices how it's eating you alive, even your own son asks you why you're always sad, why you're waking up screaming every night, but you keep telling people you're fine, you don't need or want to talk about it, finding comfort in something else like alcohol, or chasing arsonists…"

"No."

"Two days before mum took Logan, you told me that I had to accept I needed help, I sent you away! Now I'm telling you, you need to admit it to yourself…can't describe you the happiness on Logan's face when I went to my mum's place to take him home a month later, Kelly. It was worth it!"

Both men turned in the direction of Matt's and Logan's cheerful voices, the child still talking about pirates and how he wanted to live on their ship. With the corner of his eyes Casey examined Kelly's stained expression, not missing his glassy eyes.

"I was so close to losing him." Scott added when Logan ran forward and embraced him into a hug. "Can't imagine my life without him. It's not perfect, but we have each other now."

"Apparently he can imagine his without Erin and his career, pretending he's fine in jail all alone." Truck Lieutenant didn't miss the opportunity to remind Kelly what was going to happen if he did not call Doctor Shaw soon.

When Severide got up and walked back to the boat he had been repairing, grabbing the rucksack he had brought, Matt thought that his friend was going to run away once again. Kelly unzipped it and looked inside, finally remembering that his phone was broken. Swallowing the big lump inside his throat, he glanced upon Matt, not sure how steady his voice was going to be when he spoke. "Can I…can I use your phone?" He rattled without knowing what he was going to tell the shrink beside that he wanted to meet him on the next day…

Not far away from where they were, two men exchanged a look. If the two lieutenants wanted to fight fires, they were going to get the opportunity soon…but according to Hadley's and Spellman's plan, somebody wasn't going to make it out alive…

Xxx

"You've started the party without me?" Erin arched her brows, stealing a single French fry out of the bag of fries in Kelly's hand before taking a seat next to him, Matt, Scott and Logan sitting at the table as well. Rice had offered to take them to a diner he and Severide had loved in their high school years, to reconnect, to talk more, to relax, insisting on meeting the girl that held a special place in his friend's heart.

"You're damn right, Severide, she is pretty!" Scott grinned, everybody chuckling when his son nodded in agreement.

"It's not a crime." Lindsay snickered, her eyes falling on the beef burger in front of Casey. "But not ordering one of these for me is."

The second she finished her sentence a waitress emerged from the kitchen with the same massive burger, French fries on the side, and a plate of hash browns.

"Give me your money, man." Kelly said in a serious tone, fixing his eyes on Matt, confusing the hell out of Erin. But Scott and Casey bursting into laughter told her it was some sort of a men's joke. "I told him it was gonna take you only thirty minutes to find this place, he insisted you won't be here in the next hour…Won twenty bucks."

"Too bad, Kelly, I'm out of cash." Matt teased. "But the dinner's on me."

"Can live with it." The corners of Kelly's lips twisted upwards when a smile lit Erin's face, making him forget about the nasty world for a moment. She decided not to mention anything about the case going cold and just enjoy the first happy dinner they were having in forever….

Casey reached for a hash brown, his hand landing on Scott's as he wanted the exact same one, none of them letting the other have it. Lindsay just shook her head, grabbing her piping hot burger with both hands, filling her mouth with so much bread, cheese and meat that she couldn't even laugh at the two firemen fighting for a piece of food.

"Daddy, toilet." Logan slid off his chair suddenly, grabbing his father's arm.

"Just a second." Rice murmured, not giving up on his hash brown.

Jumping from one leg to the other, Logan let out a quiet "okaaay", looking as if he could not wait.

"I'll take him…need it too." Kelly offered, amused with the pointless battle between his fellow lieutenant and Scott.

Logan ran into the toilet before Kelly had even made it to the door. Squad's Lieutenant pushed the door slightly opened when a hand grabbed him from behind, a hand he recognized without even looking at the man it belonged to. Letting go of the door, Kelly turned around, disgusted by the face that greeted him, the face of Kevin Hadley.

"Guess we both love the hash browns here." Hadley shrugged, enjoying the sick mind game he was playing.

"Get lost." Kelly growled, somebody whose face he did not see shoving past him to get into the toilet. It cost him a great deal not to punch Kevin and wipe the smug off his face.

"I'm a free man, lieutenant, can be wherever I want."

"Not for long…"

"You sure? I guess your lady friend has not yet told you that your imaginary arsonist's case's just gone cold." Hadley rattled out, turning around to leave, as asked.

A cold wave of panic went through Kelly's entire body, paralyzing fear overwhelming him when Hadley disappeared out of his sight. CPD had promised him to send the ex-firefighters back to where they belonged, Erin had given him her word, and now the system was letting two cold-blood murderers live happily…His mind screamed for him to go after Hadley and end his life once and for all…

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Thank you all for reading and for all your comments and thoughts!

Angst, angst, angst…and more to come. I bet you thought this chapter was going to have a happy-end for a change, but nooo, sometimes I think I just can't write happy fics, lol. Well, at least Luke's getting a bit better, poor Herrmann's deserve a little break.

Okay, I hope you liked Scott's input, he's not taking Casey's place in the story, I promise, I just saw him as someone who had personal experience with such traumatic events. Matt and Chief made a good choice by asking him for help, right? Would love to hear your opinion.

Hmm, Erin slept in Kelly's bed? They just snuggled (for now, haha). She's really upset for what's going on with the arsonist's case, but did she made the right choice to hide it from Kelly?

You'll see what Hadley's plan is soon, prepare for some more pain and angst and revenge…

I'd love to hear your opinion, no matter what it is, so please review! Thanks!