New Meanings To Old Words: Love
Okay, so I promise that this is the last chapter of backtracking… for now. We're gonna get everyone caught up to the same point in time (kinda). We're doing A LOT of jumping around here so try to keep your head on straight.
As always, read, review and most of all enjoy!
~Michelle
Disclaimer: I own nothing, except Callie and the crew of misfits (Danny, Miles, Jenna, Mike, Nina, Ben and Gracie).
Wild Horses Pt. 1
Glenn pressed the palms of his hands into his eyes hard, and tried desperately to erase the last hour from his brain. He pressed hard, and rubbed furiously at his eyes before sliding his hands out to his temples, where he continued to apply a steady pressure to the throbbing that had settled there.
But it didn't help. The image of Jenna laying on that bed, her skin pale and slick with a fine sheen of sweat, her breathing heavy as the infection settled into her body. The image of when she had woken for that short time and worked a shaky smile onto her face at the sight of him and Carol. The image of Callie's stricken face as she stood at the end of the bed and stared at the girl. All of it was burned into his brain.
When Callie had told him, he was sure she was mistaken. That the girl was just suffering from the ill-effects of everything she'd been through. He was sure of it.
It was Jenna. She couldn't-
Glenn pressed hard at the side of his head again and finally let his eyes close tight.
The image of Carol's face as she stood at the doorway to that little room that Jenna was in, the horror that had shown in her eyes slipped into his mind's eye. He had stood there dumbstruck as Callie worked through an apology to the woman for her being brought here in hopes of seeing her own daughter. As Jenna struggled into a sitting position and assured Carol with every ounce of strength that she had that Sophia wasn't bitten, wasn't scratched, that she was fine. That the girl was stronger and faster and more of a survivor than any of them.
Glenn had watched in utter amazement as Carol's gaze lifted, her eyes still haunted but clear of tears for the first time in a long time. He watched the woman shake her head and walk into that room with a purposeful stride that he'd never seen from her before. And then he watched as she sat down on Jenna's bedside and held the dying girl's-God Almighty the dying girl's—hand in her own. She'd smiled then, a tight motherly smile and she slipped her gaze from Jenna's exhausted feverish face to Callie's at the end of the bed.
"It's gonna be okay," Carol said as she brushed Jenna's hair away from her face with that warm smile. A tear slid down Carol's cheek and Glenn just stared in awe. "It's gonna be okay."
It was that moment that Glenn realized that no matter what he did, no matter how many lives he saved, how many Walkers he took out, or how long he survived in this crazy world, he would never be as strong as the two women that he stood in that room with. Or that girl on the bed.
Glenn let his hands fall from his head and nodded to himself, that single thought spurring him back into action. He opened the driver's side door to the Hummer and threw himself inside. Quietly closing the door again he put both of his hands to the steering wheel and clenched it tightly.
Callie had pretty much begged them not to say anything to Rick or Lori. To let them deal with Carl, and not put more pressure on them. Carol had shaken her head but agreed with a hand to Callie's slightly hunched shoulders. And Glenn, well-he'd walked out.
He'd walked out and away, and shook his head. He understood what Callie was saying. Why she wanted to keep the burden off of Rick and Lori. He understood completely. But he didn't agree with her taking it all on to her shoulders.
And in that moment when she'd cried and begged them to go out and sit with T-Dog and leave her to handle things, he decided that for once he wasn't going to do what was expected. He wasn't going to just roll over and let her do that to herself. He walked out of that room, and towards the front door with purpose in his stride.
And in his haste he ran directly into the girl from the woods, the one that had saved his ass from atop a horse. Maggie.
"Sorry," Glenn muttered as he pushed his hand through his hair. His hat was laying somewhere on the floor of the room Jenna was in. Pushed off by his restless hands and never picked up. He skipped his eyes up to the girl, and found her just staring at him.
They stood that way for a few seconds, her eyes searching his face as he shifted awkwardly on his feet and averted what he knew were red rimmed tear-filled eyes. She crossed her arms over her chest, not in an off-putting manner but more as a comfort to herself and let a small grimace mar her pretty face.
"I'm sorry," Maggie said quietly. He watched her eyes skip from him to the door that he'd slammed shut behind him. "I'm so very sorry."
"Yeah," Glenn said in return, his hand grabbing his hair. "Thanks," Glenn looked up at her and caught her eye. "For everything." Her lips twitched in a mirthless grin and she shook her head at him. It was at that point that her eyes seemed to catch on his other hand, and she furrowed her brow.
"Are you leavin'?" Maggie asked her tone incredulous as her eyes again met his.
"I'm going to get -" Glenn shook his head and grimaced. "She's taking too much of this on herself. The others should know."
"You're gonna drive back there? Now?" Maggie's brow furrowed more and she shifted her eyes to where the front door lay. "It's gettin' dark. You shouldn't be drivin' this late. You'll attract-"
"I can handle it," Glenn said with a tiny little smile on his face. If he'd been more himself, he probably would have been blushing at her concern. But instead he grimaced and shook his head. "Uh, I guess I should ask your dad if that's okay. I mean I'm sure he doesn't want a bunch of strangers-"
"It's fine," Maggie said cutting him off with a wave of her hand. "I told y'all to come here. He's expectin' it. He ain't happy 'bout it, but he's expectin' it."
"That's -" Glenn shook his head and let out a bit of a chuckle. "There's really only so many times you can say 'Thanks' before it becomes annoying, huh?" She smiled and lifted one brow in an amused manner, and this time he felt it when he blushed. Ducking his head he worked past her. "I'm gonna go before it gets too late."
If he hadn't been so embarrassed by his reaction to the pretty girl he would have probably looked back. And he would have seen her talking to Rick as he exited from the dining and him leaving the house. And then he would have been more prepared with an excuse when the former Sheriff's deputy caught up to him and cornered him on the porch before he made it down the steps to the Hummer.
But as it was, Glenn sucked with secrets, and as he started up the Hummer he again settled his gaze on his hands. The stricken look on Rick's face was burned into his mind just as bright as the rest, and he suddenly felt sick to his stomach knowing he'd caused it. Shaking his head he lifted his head and let his gaze slide back to the porch.
Maggie stood at the railing, her arms crossed over her chest again as she simply stared back at him. He offered her a small smile that he hoped she could see in the slowly fading light that filtered down over them. She returned the smile and shook her head as he put the Hummer into reverse and worked to turn the hulking vehicle back around. His eyes scanned over the house in the rearview mirror, and he watched the girl turn to talk to her father as he came to join her on the porch.
Daryl scratched at the back of his neck, the feel of the dirt and sweat that seemed to have seeped into his skin making his face contort in disgust. Running his hand over the back of his head he scratched at his scalp and shifted his eyes towards the RV as he walked past and towards the door.
It had been a long ass day, one that had settled on his shoulders in a heap and wouldn't seem to dissipate. He'd walked the woods alone, after the rest of the crew had left, needing that bit of time to collect himself. To gather his thoughts. He'd checked the woods and found jack-shit and come back feelin' worse than when he'd left.
He'd known he was gonna snap at the first person that tried to talk to him, so he'd waved at Dale and motioned he was gonna check the perimeter. After that, when the sun had finally started to settle on the horizon he worked his way back to the RV. His body and mind as at ease as they was going to get. Now, all he wanted to do was head back to that little room with that bed, and slip down into it next to Ben and Gracie and go the fuck to sleep.
Leave this fuckin' day far, far behind.
Daryl shook his head in some sort of strange amazement at the thought of the type of man he'd slowly found himself turning into. Fuckin' wanting to cuddle with some babies. Unbe-fuckin-lievable.
Putting his hand to the door handle he settled his boot on the step and then stopped. His ears pricked as he picked up the sound of voices within, and he felt the grimace contort his face. Danny and Andrea. Fuck. He really didn't want to be in there with those two giving each other eyes. Inwardly groaning at the thought of it, Daryl slipped his hands off of the door handle and worked it over towards the ladder.
"Quit it, Gracie." Ben's little voice sounded over his head and Daryl slipped his eyes up and furrowed his brow.
Daryl slipped quickly and quietly up the ladder and smirked at the sight. Dale stood near the lawn chair his head shaking and a small smile playing over his face as he watched the two children settled near the far edge. Both little bodies were snuggled under a large blanket, Ben working to push his sister away with one hand while he threw his little arm over his eyes and turned to his side. Gracie was slapping idly at her brother's hand as she tried to snuggle up close to him.
"S'nough of that shit," Daryl said quietly as he stepped over towards the chair. Both kids shifted, angling their little eyes to him and immediately stopped their fighting. Daryl raised a brow at Dale and watched the man chuckle and shake his head.
"I've been trying to get them to settle for a half an hour," Dale said earning a raised brow from the man beside him. "Proof positive that I'd have made a horrible father. I have no sway with children. They just instinctively know they can walk all over me." Dale said still chuckling a bit.
"What they doin' up here?" Daryl asked, choosing to ignore the old man's words, and his strange allusion to Daryl being a good father. Fuck that. Dale grimaced a bit and shifted his eyes from where the two children had worked to settle themselves into a comfortable sleeping position.
"They were a bit restless below," Dale said quietly his eyes slipping over to meet Daryl's raised brows. "I think they're both a bit-" Dale firmed his lips and furrowed his heavy gray brows. "Ben didn't want to sleep in the RV. He was scared of Walkers getting in again. No matter what Danny and Andrea said, he just flat out refused." Dale took a deep breath in through his nose. "I told him he could camp out up here, and Gracie followed. I figured we could get them down into bed once they fell asleep."
"Kid's been through a lot," Daryl said quietly his arms crossing over his chest as he looked to where Ben and Gracie were snuggled up. The slow steady puffs of breath that he could hear coming from the two suggested that they were getting closer to sleep. Once he heard those telltale baby snore's of Ben's he'd work on getting them settled down stairs.
Shit, hopefully by then Danny and Andrea'd be done with-whatever the fuck they were doing, and he'd be able to grab a bit of shut eye too. Daryl uncrossed his arms as he watched Dale shift on his feet to look out over the parking lot. Blinking back the exhaustion in his eyes and then working out the tightness in his shoulders, Daryl set his crossbow down beside the lawn chair that was facing down the highway behind them.
With a yawn that he tried, and failed, to hide he slumped down into the chair. He heard Dale chuckle just a bit and rolled his eyes as he worked the pack of cigarettes-Callie's pack that he stole a couple days ago- out of his back pocket. His eyes slipped over the slumbering forms of Ben and Gracie and then down the road, taking in the empty space where the Hummer used to sit.
He pulled out a cigarette then, and lifted the hand holding it to his mouth. His eyes remained on that dark stretch of highway, staring in the direction that the Greene family farm and a good bit of his group lay. His thumb nail scratched idly over the stubble under his bottom lip and he let out a breath through his nose before placing the cigarette to his lips.
Lighting it up, he settled his forearms on his knees and hunched forward, hands dangling between his knees. His eyes skipped to the old man beside him, vigilant as ever no matter how fuckin' tired he was. Daryl shifted the cigarette in his mouth from one side of his mouth to the other and then reached out and tapped Dale's knee with the almost empty pack of smokes.
Dale looked down with a humored glance and Daryl averted his gaze as he tapped again and held the box up slightly.
"I know they ain't Slims or nothing-" Daryl left the statement hanging and actually smirked a bit when Dale let out a low sigh.
"Never going to live that down am I?" Dale said smiling and finally catching Daryl's humored gaze. He stared at the pack for a few seconds before Daryl expertly shook out a single cigarette. Dale shook his head but took the offering and the lighter. Dale hesitated lighting up, as his eyes skipped to the children.
"Smokin'll help give you that bad-ass edge you apparently need with 'em," Daryl said smirking as he watched Dale eye the children before actually lighting up. "Then again," Daryl continued as he shifted and shoved the cigarettes back into his pants pocket. "Don't think those babies have any allusions that smokin's a bad habit, so don't think that's gonna work."
"How the world has changed," Dale said with raised brows and a nod of his head as he inhaled deeply from the cigarette. Daryl grunted in response and then shifted his eyes back to the expanse of highway, hands again dangling between his knees as he hunched forward. It was ridiculous, but he felt better just staring off that way. Like if he kept his eyes that way, he could somehow feel closer to -
He shook his head and took a deep drag off of his cigarette.
Dale slipped his eyes to the man sitting smoking beside him and squinted at him in the low moonlight. For the first time in a long time Dale noticed just how tired Daryl looked. The man had always been so good at hiding his fatigue from the group before. His constant hunting and turns at watch at the Quarry had to have left him feeling ragged, but it never showed. But now, in only the few short weeks that they'd been away from that peaceful rest stop Daryl looked like he'd aged ten years.
It could have, of course, just been the layers of dirt and grime that he carried. But Dale knew that it was more than dirt and grime weighing the man's shoulders into a hunch and causing him to squint through the darkness of that highway. Dale took a drag off of his cigarette and then shifted a bit on his feet standing so that he was a bit closer Daryl. The movement caught Daryl's attention and had him looking over at where Dale now stood observing him.
"Something you got on your mind, old man?" Daryl asked in a quiet almost defensive tone.
"I just-" Dale grimaced slightly and then shook his head. Raising a hand he continued. "You can feel free to ignore me completely," Dale said quietly his wide sincere eyes falling to Daryl's. "You don't have to answer at all, but—" he turned to face Daryl fully and furrowed his brow just a bit. "I realized just now, that with everything that's happened, I didn't know if anyone thought to ask-" Dale stopped again and Daryl looked like he was about ready to beat the shit out of him if he did it again. Dale smiled. "Are you alright, son?"
Daryl's eyes popped open for a fraction of a second, and if Dale hadn't been staring so intently at his face he probably wouldn't have seen the reaction it. Those blue eyes of his popped open in surprise and then averted quickly, his entire body kind of closing in on itself as he hunched his shoulders further and returned to staring off down the highway. Dale kept his eyes on Daryl's shoulders, feeling the man's unease grow with each passing second. Daryl removed his cigarette and settled his thumbnail to his mouth idly chewing at the bed of it. Dale nodded his head a bit and took another slow drag of his cigarette, his eyes slipping to the two sleeping children on the RV roof with them. Just when the silence had dragged on so long that Dale was certain Daryl was going to ignore him he heard the man let out a low sigh and watched a large puff of acrid smoke drift to the stars above.
"Lotta shit gone down since the last time you and me shared a smoke up here, Dale." Daryl said quietly, and Dale watched as Daryl's gaze slid to him over his shoulder. "Wanna be a bit more specific with what you're referrin' to?" Dale nodded his head with a small smile, his brain suddenly being overrun with all the things that had happened in those few short weeks.
Thoughts of Merle; of the Quarry being overrun; of the highway where they almost lost Callie and Miles; of the loss of Jim; the CDC…God everything. It all came crashing down and Dale took a deep breath as he looked at the man who had seemingly shouldered everything in stride and silence.
"You're absolutely right," Dale said quietly causing Daryl's head to turn to him. "And I'm truly sorry for that. Tell you what," Dale pointed his two fingers holding the cigarette at the man sitting next to him. "You go on and take your pick. Anything. Hell everything, if you want."
Daryl looked away again and Dale watched the man stare down at his hands holding his cigarette. Daryl then slid his gaze to the sleeping kids in front of him and then the highway and that empty spot where the Hummer should have been. Lifting his cigarette to his mouth Daryl took a long drag and let the smoke filter out slowly between his barely opened lips. Daryl then shook his head and dragged his hand through his hair, that cigarette still gripped in his fingers.
"Why she gotta-" Daryl started then shook his head as he rubbed angrily at the space above the bridge of his nose. He shook his head and tossed his hand up and looked at Dale. Dale smiled sadly as the man picked the easier route, the most recent incident with the least bit of loss. "Why can't she just be like the resta them mommas and stay put. Stop playin' hero, and just fuckin'-" Daryl stopped and shook his head, his brows raising as he looked at Dale for an answer. "Why?"
"Well," Dale said as he pondered his choice of words. He shrugged after a moment and scratched at his own stubble-covered jaw, Daryl's eyes intent on his face as he waited. "I don't think she actually knows how to just stay put."
"Think she's got fuckin' ADD?" Daryl asked, his tone completely serious. Dale laughed and Daryl grunted as he looked back to his hands dangling between his legs. Dale shook his head and patted Daryl's shoulder, a bit of a sad feeling settling in the older man's stomach when he felt Daryl shy away from the comforting touch.
"I don't think that's it," Dale said not really caring about Daryl's aversion to his comforting gesture. He patted again and squeezed once. "I don't know what it is truthfully," Dale said and Daryl nodded his head a bit. "But I do know she's never going to be that woman," Daryl looked up to Dale and felt himself smirking as Dale smiled and lifted a brow. "Do you really want her to be?"
Daryl didn't verbally answer just shook his head a bit and sighed, and Dale let his hand slide off of his shoulder. They continued on in silence after that, Daryl's mind no doubt lingering on Callie who may or may not have made it back to the farm by now, and the missing girl he'd apparently taken as his responsibility to find. While Dale's thoughts circled round and round on everything, which only made his head hurt more than it had been before.
"Ya ain't the first to ask," Daryl said suddenly and Dale's eyes widened as he looked down at him. Daryl slipped his eyes up to his quickly and then back to the highway. "If I was a'right." Daryl clarified quietly. "Glenn was tryin'," Daryl sniffed and shook his head. "I snapped his head off."
"Glenn can be a bit, persistent," Dale said quietly and Daryl looked at him with a raised brow. Dale smiled sarcastically and lifted his hand before throwing his cigarette over the edge of the RV. "Yes I know, pot," he said with a lift of his shaggy brows and a smile before pointing his finger down the dark highway, "kettle. I know."
"Yeah, well," Daryl rolled his eyes and took a final drag from his cigarette. "Thanks," Daryl said quietly as he pushed to his feet and tossed his own cigarette off the edge. "For askin'."
"Anytime, son," Dale responded watching Daryl work his way towards the two lumps lightly snoring under the blanket. "Thanks for not snapping my head off." Daryl shrugged as he put his hands to the blanket and Dale chuckled.
"Must be more tired than I thought," Daryl said in return, the tiniest hint of a smile playing on his lips as he looked over at Dale.
Dale smiled and watched Daryl gently work the blanket back a bit, revealing Gracie's brown head of curls. Just as Daryl's hand was settling on her head his eyes snapped up and shot down the highway. Dale stared as Daryl worked slowly to his feet, and then shifted his attention to where the man was staring.
"What is it?" Dale said squinting a bit into the distance.
"Headlights," Daryl said quietly his body rigid now as Dale came to a stop at his side. Both men stood and watched the slow approach of the lights in the distance, an ominous feeling settling in the pit of both of their stomachs at what the vehicle's return would bring.
Danny let out a long painful breath and shook his head at himself as he worked to unbutton the borrowed Hawaiian shirt he'd been sporting. He lifted his hands from the buttons, after only making it half way and rubbed both palms hard into his tired eyes.
This day. This fuckin' day.
Shaking his head he put his fingers back to the buttons of the shirt and continued to work it open. He was standing, because he fuckin' needed to get to the point where he could stand for longer than a half hour stretch, and he could feel the tender pull of the stitches in his side. He had just finished unbuttoning when he heard a noise behind him.
"Hey, Danny," Andrea's slightly questioning voice slid into the room and he spun around. Which was a fuckin' mistake because the speedy movement sent a fresh wave of pain through his bum leg and had him falling very fuckin' ungracefully to the bed.
Andrea's eyes were wide for a moment from her position at the door, as if she was unsure what just happened. Then her eyes slipped to Danny shifting awkwardly on the bed and working to hold closed his unbuttoned shirt. She raised a brow as she watched him shift an angry grimace at her and she couldn't help but smirk as she settled her hip to the doorframe.
"You know," Andrea said crossing her arms over her chest as she watched him start to do up the buttons of Dale's oversized shirt again. "I have seen you without your shirt on before."
"Yeah, well, unless you're planning on evenin' up the score, sweetheart; you can just turn your cute little ass back around there and keep on loading them clips. Like a good little gun junkie." Danny said tossing his right arm out and pointing a finger over her shoulder. The motion brought a fresh wince to his face and at that point Andrea's planned sarcastic remark faded.
"What are you hiding?" Andrea asked taking a step into the room. She stopped when Danny raised his right hand and wagged his finger.
"I'm serious, Andrea," Danny said still trying to ward her off with a smile as he clutched his left hand to the wound in his side.
"I'm not taking my top off," Andrea said in an aggravated tone that for some reason brought a wider smile to Danny's lips. She kept moving forward and he kept on smiling.
"That's what you say now," Danny tried to settle himself into a position that was further away from her but she was quicker. "Don't go blamin' me when it just happens." Her hands were prying his away from the shirt he'd worked so hard to open and he grimaced when her eyes widened at the sight. "Andrea-"
"Jesus," Andrea said on a sharp inhale. Her eyes slipped up to his quickly before her hands were pushing the halves of his shirt open further and her pale blue eyes were stuck to the bloody mass of bandages at his side.
"It's fine," Danny said wincing as she pressed against his wound a bit too hard. She pulled back and shook her head. "I must have ripped a few of the stitches when I was bashing that Walker yesterday." Her angry eyes snapped up to his and again she was shaking her head. "Andrea, it's fine. Really."
"It's not fine, Danny." Andrea snapped back, one hand raking through her hair while the other hovered over his bloody bandages. "God, you are the most stubborn person I've ever met."
"Wow, really?" Danny said raising a brow. "You happen to look in a mirror lately."
"I'm gonna get Daryl." Andrea said completely ignoring his remark. She got to her feet but before she could move any further Danny grabbed her wrist and pulled her back slightly. His head was shaking from side to side and again she let out an angry huff as she broke his hold on her arm. "Danny, you're bleeding."
"I've been bleeding," Danny said shaking his head and looking up at her. "It's not that bad, really. It can wait." Andrea turned away from him and started for the door and he snapped. "Damnit Andrea," she turned with a frown marring her features. "The man's helped my ass enough in the past week, and he's got enough on his plate right now. It can fuckin' wait." He let out a sigh and brushed his hand through his overgrown waves. "Honestly, it can wait until we get to that farm tomorrow."
Andrea stared at him, those beautiful blues of hers just searching his face. Her mouth opened and closed a few times as if she was working through what exactly she wanted to say, but just couldn't get the words to form. Idly Danny began to grin at the fact that for once he'd managed to stop one of her tirades. Finally, after what seemed like too long of a time, Andrea rolled her eyes and threw her hands up in the air.
"Fine," Andrea turned away and then waved for him to follow and he happily watched her stalk away. Hips swaying oh so nicely. "But you're at least letting me change that bandage."
"I can—"
"Get your ass out here, Danny." Andrea said cutting him off as she fell out of his field of vision.
Danny pushed to his feet and looked to where his crutch was leaning against the wall near the door. Stumbling a bit he put both hands to the doorframe and let his gaze linger on the crutch for a minute, before shaking his head and pressing on. The RV's interior was small enough that he had enough places to help him along that he didn't need the fuckin' thing.
Andrea slipped her eyes over her shoulder from where she stood at the sink and watched Danny pause in the doorway. His arms were out wide holding his lean frame up, Dale's ridiculous Hawaiian shirt hanging open revealing his bare chest. The dusting of hairs along his pectorals followed the curve of his musculature and then disappeared beneath the large wrap of white bandage wrapped around his midsection. Fleeting, drunken, hazy memory told her that the trail of hairs disappeared and then restarted right below his navel heading straight down-Andrea shook her head and lifted her gaze to his face.
"Oh for the love of God," Andrea muttered at the sight of that hundred-watt smile of his aimed right at her flushed face. Andrea turned her attention to the cupboards in front of her and began gathering supplies as she tried to school her face and push the flush of heat in her cheeks far, far away.
The sound of him chuckling as he slowly worked his way towards her helped a bit. Replacing that heat of embarrassment, and what she begrudgingly admitted was a bit of arousal, into a nice steady stream of anger. By the time his smiling ass had settled against the small table behind her she was sufficiently pissed off.
Then of course she turned around. He wasn't smiling anymore, well not like he had been—not that hundred watt 'meant to melt your panties off' smile. No this one was a soft smile, a considering one; one that had her hand falling a bit and that flush of heat rising on her cheeks again. Danny crossed his arms over his chest and settled his injured leg out putting the most of his weight on his good leg and his ass against the table.
"You know," Danny said as Andrea wrung her hands into the bandages she'd pulled from the cabinet. "You keep lookin' at me like that, I'm gonna have to take matters into my own hands with regards to that shirt you're wearin'."
"Shut up," Andrea said, silently thankful that the man had opened his big mouth and said something stupid. Her anger shot back to the forefront and she skipped her eyes up to his. Shocked at the bit of humor she saw, she realized that had been his plan with quip.
Andrea finished gathering the supplies together. A sadness tweaked her stomach when she realized that everything was pretty much already out and ready. They'd had to use it so often as of late that apparently nothing ever got put away anymore. She took a deep breath and then turned at the sound of Danny's wincing. She watched him struggle a bit as he worked to get the Hawaiian shirt off of his shoulders and she took a few steps towards him.
"Let me help," Andrea said quietly, her hands moving forward slowly. He looked up and began to shake his head but the instant her fingers touched onto the bare skin of his shoulders his mouth snapped shut. Andrea desperately worked to keep her eyes off of his face, and instead watched her pale fingers glide over his skin. She could feel his eyes on her like a branding iron against her already flushed skin. Biting her lip just a tiny bit she marveled at the feel of his muscles jumping under her fingers as she worked the fabric over his shoulders and down his arms.
Surprisingly Danny remained quiet as she finished removing the shirt, his arms lifting easily under the pressure she applied to them. His eyes stayed on her, and Andrea felt her heartbeat thudding wildly in her chest as she tossed the shirt to the bench seat at her right. Her head tilted to the side and her fingers hovered over the large patch of red beneath the bandages. She felt the look that crossed her features and shook her head before taking in a deep breath.
"Oh Danny," Andrea said quietly. "You should have told someone."
"Shit's been hittin' the fan at a pretty breakneck speed lately, Andrea," Danny said wincing as he shifted on his perch. "Slipped my mind."
"Sure it did," Andrea said shaking her head in annoyance. She put her fingers to the three pieces of medical tape at the edge of the bandages and began to pull slowly. She worked in silence, surprisingly, removing the bandage that was wrapped around his lean midsection slowly so as not to aggravate anything that was below. His eyes stayed on her the whole time, studying her in a way that was almost more aggravating than if he'd been talking.
She finally got the bandage off, letting the bloody strips fall to her feet. Her eyes slipped to his navel for an instant. Yep, there was that little trail-she seethed through her teeth and then shook her head, before again looking to where the large piece of blood-soaked gauze covered his stitches. She saw her fingers shaking a bit as she reached for it, and was surprised when he put his hand up and removed it for her. She looked up at him, and saw that he'd averted his gaze and as he tossed the gauze towards the sink. A deep breath in and Andrea turned to grab the bowl of water and wash cloth she'd prepared.
"So," Danny said quietly as she wrung out the wash cloth. She looked up at him briefly before placing the cool cloth to his stomach. He inhaled sharply at the contact and closed his eyes as his head tipped to the ceiling. "I, uh, saw you stole me a book from the CDC."
"The Bible?" Andrea asked, her mind no longer lingering on the way his muscles twitched as she ran her cloth covered fingers over them-well, not really. She put her mind to the task and shrugged a bit in response to his words. "I thought you'd maybe want it."
"Tryin' to save my soul?" Danny asked in a humored tone.
"Don't be an idiot," Andrea snapped back. She felt the smile tug at her lips as she realized exactly what he was doing. Inane conversation to help take the embarrassment away. In that moment she looked up at him and caught his eyes, the sparkling humor held beneath with that tiny little smile on his bearded face confirming her suspicions. "You know I'm the last person to believe any of that is going to help."
"A little faith can go a long way, Andrea." Danny said quietly raising a brow.
"You're a man of science," Andrea said suddenly catching him off guard as she looked up at his face. She'd somehow finished with the cleaning of his wound and shook her head in slight amazement. Turning from him she set the bowl aside and picked up the fresh gauze and bandage wraps. "You're a science teacher right? Degrees in Chemistry and Physics? Right? How can you so easily give in to religion."
"Yeah," Danny said nodding as she looked at him with confusion. "Yeah, I'm a man of science," he said the word with a bit of sarcasm and she shook her head. "And you're full of logic, ain't ya?" She shrugged and he smirked just a bit. "Honestly, I never used to be such a staunch believer." Danny said quietly watching her study his face. "I was a strict non-believer. Probably some of it due to my schooling, but mostly due to personal choice. But then this apocalypse happened. And I said to myself, 'well fuck, how the hell am I supposed to explain this?'."
"The fact that you're still alive," Andrea said quietly her eyes falling to her hands as she vaguely recalled their conversation on the floor of the women's locker room at the CDC. She felt Danny let out a breath that ruffled her hair around her face.
"I mean really," Danny said his hand sliding slowly up her arm and causing a trail of goosebumps to follow his fingers. "How do you logically explain a fuckin' junkie survivin' this long? How do you explain me havin' to -" Danny stopped and shook his head, his hand falling from her shoulder. Andrea looked up and watched him avert his eyes to the left staring out the windshield. "Leslie was a good person. We may not have gotten along in the end, but she didn't deserve that."
Andrea had no idea what to say. She felt the tears prickling in her eyes as she was suddenly hit with a wave of sadness. For Danny. For his still missing son. For his ex-wife—who he obviously still cared for deeply no matter how many times he said otherwise. For Amy. Andrea took in a long shuddering breath and slowly applied the gauze to Danny's purple and red bruised skin, covering the area of broken stitches and applying a bit of pressure. The contact caused him to wince violently and Andrea muttered an apology as she then began to work the bandages around his body.
"Honestly," Danny said on a pained breath. "Science and logic really hasn't seemed to help us much as of late," Danny continued. "So I figure why not give the 'higher power' theory a shot."
"God's will?" Andrea asked as she pressed herself closer between his legs and worked the bandage around the back of him. She felt him shrug and heard him take in a deep inhale as her hair tickled at his shoulder and chest. The exhale was slow, and Andrea was shocked when hit directly in her ear sending a shiver over her entire body.
"Why not?" his words were quiet, barely above a whisper in her ear and she felt his hand settle at the small of her back. She stiffened slightly, her back arching at the contact of his warm hand in so familiar a place and her breathing became a bit labored as she moved back. She felt him sigh as her body apparently reacted in a way that he'd wanted it to. Her eyes remained downcast as she worked the bandage around his midsection, his fingers pressing delicately but firmly into the muscles at her lower back.
She pressed her hand into his stomach, right above where that damn happy little trail of hairs was now hidden and let out a shaky breath. He held tight to her back, trying to keep her pressed close to him. She felt him lean forward a bit, his bearded chin working beside her head to move her hair away from her neck so that he could put his mouth to her ear.
"You still mad at me?" Danny said into her ear, that whispered breath causing her breath to catch. Her eyes closed and she felt her head shift to the side as he nuzzled his mouth a bit at her neck, his lips barely brushing the space below her ear. "Please say no."
She pressed hard at his stomach, causing him to flinch away. Immediately she felt bad but was slightly grateful for the fact that his hand had dropped from her back and she was able to back up a step. Her wide eyes met his slightly grimacing ones and she sighed.
"Hold this," Andrea pressed again, a bit more lightly and shivered when his hand covered over hers. She turned away again and grabbed the small roll of tape, using the moment to collect herself. A few breaths later she turned back to him, her eyes blinking and her 'lawyer face' as Amy had always called it back in place. "You said I could hate you for the rest of my life," Andrea said in response to him, shifting closer and ripping off a piece of tape. "Seeing as I'm not dead yet," she shrugged as she applied the first piece of tape. He chuckled and shook his head as she ripped a second and third piece and repeated her actions.
"Like being married all over again," Danny said smirking at her as she turned back around and moved to wipe off her slightly red tinged hands on one of the dishrags. She again felt his gaze on her back and this time she didn't have the chance to settle herself her nerves. His hands settled at her hips and he turned her to face him, his body pressing her into the counter behind.
"Usually women don't hate me until after we've slept together," Danny said pressing his hips to hers and shifting his fingers so that they settled right at the front waistband of her jeans. Tiny pinpricks of sensation filled her as those fingertips slid just a bit under her shirt. "Bit unsettling to have one hate me for something as silly as saving her ass," Danny said again shifting his bearded chin over her shoulder and into her neck. His pressed a wet open mouth kiss against her skin and again she found her body reacting without her mind's permission. Her head tilted just a bit and her eyes closed as he slid his scratchy bearded cheek up so that his lips were again in her ear. "How's 'bout we fix that?"
"Danny," Andrea's voice was a wanton rasp that she barely recognized. Her hands lifted to settle on his bare chest, and she knew she needed to push him away. But instead she found her hands sliding up and resting at his shoulders as his mouth worked delicately at the skin of her neck. Her head fell back and he chuckled against her skin, the movement of his sharp whiskers and the rumble of that deep chuckle working her body into an almost frenzied state. She willed herself to try one last attempt to push him away, and still didn't recognize the throaty whisper that escaped. "What happened to chivalry, and not taking advantage of my delicate state of mind?"
He stopped and lifted his head spearing her with a look of utter amusement.
"You know, I musta left my chivalry at the CDC," Danny said with a wicked little smile. "Done gone boom." He said as he pressed his hips closer. She took in a sharp breath at the feel of his erection pressing against her thigh, her mind reeling as she tried to remember the last time she'd been so turned on by such a thing. God how long had it been since she last- He slipped just a bit closer, his hands sliding over her midsection and lifting her shirt a bit. "As for your delicate state of mind," he said his lips hovering over hers as his hand slipped higher, fingers brushing the bottom of her bra's underwire. "Please."
The tone of his voice was sarcastic, and the twitch of his brow was the straw that broke the camel's back. She laughed, she couldn't help it, and his lips crashed into hers. His body was flush to hers now, his good knee sliding in between hers and a rush of welcoming familiar heat filled her as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Her fingers tangled harshly into his hair, pulling his head and his hot mouth harder against hers. His hands moved around to her back, molding her body to his. The feel of his bandaged torso meeting the bare flesh of her abdomen caused her to gasp in the realization that he'd somehow succeeded in lifting her shirt over her breasts.
Her bra clad breast met the slightly abrasive hairs on his chest and her mouth left his as she moaned. His lips worked over her jaw and back down to her neck and that spot right below her ear. He was sucking and kissing and otherwise driving her crazy, and honestly it wasn't until she felt his hands slide up over her bare breasts, his thumbs moving slowly over her taut nipples, that she realized he'd at some point removed her shirt. She stared at him in awe, that wicked grin of his growing as he worked his thumbs back and forth over her nipples. She didn't even remember lifting her damn hands from him to let him take her shirt off. Meanwhile her bra was slipped up under her chin and her head was shaking as he lowered his mouth to press a hot kiss to her left breast.
Her head flew back and her hands flew down to find purchase on his body as her body arched in pure unadulterated lust at the feel of his mouth on her breast. Her hands tightened around his hips and then moved up, and that was when she remembered-
"Fuck," Danny shot back from her his hand covering his wounded side. In her rush to aide him she ended up somehow hitting his injured left leg with her knee and sent him sprawling back against the small table. "Son of a -"
"I'm so sorry," Andrea said reaching out her hands, he shooed them away and ran a hand through his hair before lifting his pained gaze to her. Settling himself into the bench seat he shot his injured leg out in front of him and grinned at her. A single moment of confusion marred her features before she was rolling her eyes and shoving her bra back down into place. "You're an idiot. How did you even-"
"I told you not to blame me when it just happened," Danny waggled his eyebrows at her as she looked around for her shirt.
"Asshole," Andrea said half-heartedly, her heart still beating too rapidly in her chest and causing her voice to come out breathy and harsh. She picked up her shirt from the floor and started working it open.
"You know," Danny said idly, causing her eyes to slide back to him. "Before you put that on, we could move to a more comfortable location. Somewhere I could maybe lay down. Pick up where we left off," Danny smiled at her and her eyes widened as she looked back to the back bedroom. Shuffling from above had her head shaking and him nodding.
"We can't," Andrea said quietly followed immediately by, "We shouldn't."
Danny moved to get up, to try and convince her that both of those statements were utter and complete bullshit. But as soon as he got to his feet, he found himself looking up at the sound of feet rushing along the roof. An instant rush of dread filled him, quashing what was left of his amorous intent and he felt his jaw clenching tight. Andrea must have heard it too because she was working hurriedly to put her shirt on as he hobbled to the door. A loud banging on the door had them moving a bit faster.
"Get the fuck out here," Daryl's muffled agitated voice sounded and Danny just barely made out the man's head working past the window as he hurried towards the back of the RV.
Andrea helped Danny down the steps just as Dale was working down the ladder followed by Ben and Gracie.
"What's going on?" Andrea asked as Danny worked along the side of the RV towards where Daryl had run off. "Is it Walkers?"
"No," Dale said quietly as he helped Ben down to where Andrea stood. She put her hand to the boy's shoulder and held him steady. "It's the Hummer."
Danny was working to move faster than his body was really ready for him to. His right hand was braced against the RV as he hobbled after the faster moving Daryl. The bright headlights were hidden behind the station wagon and Shane's jeep, and cut deep through the darkness of the highway. Pressing off of the RV Danny stumbled a bit and lurched forward to grab onto the front of the station wagon. Small hands settled at his arm just as he touched the station wagon's hood and he smiled down at Ben beside him.
"You're s'posed to be using your crutch," Ben said fighting back a huge yawns as he helped steady Danny on his feet. "And where's your shirt?"
"Inside," Danny said slipping his gaze over his shoulder to Andrea and a smirking Dale. "Andrea was changin' my bandage for me."
"Is that what the kids are calling it these days," Dale muttered as he passed earning a shocked 'Dale!' from Andrea and a loud laugh from Danny.
"Why'd they come back?" Ben asked quietly watching as Glenn disembarked from the Hummer. Danny pressed his hand into the boy's shoulder and then shifted his eyes forward.
"Don't know, buddy," Danny said quietly. The continued on and watched as Glenn spoke in hushed tones to Daryl. Danny watched Daryl stagger backwards, the back of his hand lifting to his mouth and his shoulders hunching a bit as he took those two steps back. Daryl turned away from Glenn and angrily wiped his hand down his face as he growled at the forest. Glenn stared at Daryl, the sadness on his face piercing through Danny's heart and caused his steps to pause. Glenn's eyes skipped from the stalking form of Daryl who was now pressing his hands into the guardrail with his back to them, over to Danny.
"G-man," Danny said going for lighthearted but knowing that it came out strangled and barely audible.
"Danny," Glenn said, his voice a bit raw and as he stepped closer Danny saw the redness settled around his eyes. Glenn shook his head and firmed his lips before stepping forward again. "Danny, it's Jenna."
The second transfusion that Callie had given to Carl was taking its toll. Her eyes were barely open as she sat in the small room where Jenna was resting. The dim light provided by the small lamp on the nightstand only served to illuminate the table and the top of the bed. Jenna's red hair visible, but fuzzy in Callie's wavering vision.
Callie's head lolled back against the worn upholstered back of the wingback chair in the dark corner of the room. Her left arm, the one with the bandage wrapped around her hand and at her elbow where the needle had been settled was settled out along the arm of the chair, while her right was tucked up under her chin. Desperately working to keep her head from lolling too far forward. She blinked again a few times, her wavering vision going black for a moment as the feel of hot tears slid down her cheeks.
She was falling asleep. Or passing out. Probably passing out. Her head tilted just a bit at the feel of a hand on her shoulder, her slowly darkening vision unable to make out the face of the person. But the soft voice and gentle touch gave Carol away. Her words were lost to the haze of Callie's brain, something about 'Jenna resting' and as Callie's eyes closed she heard a faint 'going to sit with Lori for a while'.
And then in an instant she knew she'd finally passed out, or fallen asleep, because suddenly she wasn't sitting in that room on that horribly upholstered chair. She was in a familiar blood-stained driver's seat, staring down at the small silver gun in her hands in bit of confusion.
She could still feel the lumpy mass that was the chair cushion beneath her, but as she looked around her she knew that it didn't fit. And she didn't have the Fat Lady with her at the farm, so that didn't make sense either. Her head was hurting now as she tried to wrap her mind around what was going on.
"Don't let it get this far," Jim's voice beside her had her turning and in a bit of detached awe she simply stared. The man was dead. So was this a memory? He looked just as she remembered him.
Half of his face was gone from the bullet wound he'd given himself when he tried to take his own life in that car. His eyes were dead and clouded and yellowed puss was sliding out like tears down his sweat-slicked face. His jaw was askew, thick black and red blood falling out his open mouth and down his chin, dripping over his shirt.
"This is hell," Jim's voice sounded again. So clear despite the fact that his jaw wasn't even connected to his head on the right side anymore. She sat in a bit of awe at the sight of the talking Walker, and couldn't help but wonder why she wasn't shooting him. Instead she was just sitting there, calmly having a chat with him. "This is hell, Callie. End it before it gets to this."
"Jenna," Callie said, and somewhere in the dark corner of her mind she thought the name, but didn't even register saying it. In her head it settled strangely and a strange sensation crawled over her. Her eyes blinked and for just a moment the interior of the car turned into a dimly lit room. A figure was sitting on the edge of a bed. Jenna's bed. She blinked again and she was back in the car with the horrifying undead figure of Jim sitting beside her. "I'm so sorry." Her brow narrowed at that, because she knew that hadn't been her saying those words. Her eyes slipped up to the rearview mirror expecting to see Miles because that's where he'd been sitting during that horrific time, but it was nothing but darkness and a shadowy figure. "Callie." That voice again and she was turning around in the seat to face that dark backseat.
Jenna's dead snarling face, her red hair hanging in a tattered mass around her face met her straight on. The girl's mouth opened wide as she lunged, dead fingers reaching for Callie as she struggled to lift the weight of the Fat Lady.
Callie woke with a start, her body shooting forward, hand grasping for the gun that wasn't there. She met resistance and began to panic, feeling strong fingers settled at her shoulders. Her breathing was ragged as she worked against the fuzzy figure settled before her.
"Callie," Rick's voice edged into her still reeling mind and had her eyes focusing towards where his face was. Suddenly she realized it had been his voice in her half-dream, saying her name, saying Jenna's name, saying he was sorry. And the fingers she'd thought had been Jenna's clawing at her, had been Ricks' working to bring her out of her waking nightmare.
Callie lifted her hand to her head, feeling Rick's hands slide down from her shoulders to her elbows slowly. He held her steady as her body rocked back and forth a bit, and then slipped his hands back up. Fear. Adrenaline. The almost real feeling of an undead Jenna trying to take a bite out of her had her slipping forward more. Rick was kneeling between her legs and he must have felt her moving because his hands slipped over her shoulders and cradled her head to him as she plunged her face into his shoulder. Her wet eyes meeting the warm flesh of his neck.
She was crying again, and she felt ridiculous for it. Here she was trying to be strong for the girl dying in the bed not more than a few feet away and all she was doing was crying. Disgust flowed over her and she began pulling away from Rick's embrace. He tried to hold tight, but her hands pushing on his chest finally won out and he slipped his hands back to her shoulders. Rick held her at arm's length, his body still kneeling between her legs as she hunched forward in the chair and put her head in her shaking hands.
Three fucking deep breaths, Callie-girl. One. Two. Three.
As she exhaled the last time Callie raked her slowly steadying fingers through her hair, wincing only slightly at the pain in her left hand and arm. Settling both hands at the back of her neck she finally lifted her eyes to Rick's, and the realization hit her like a brick to the head.
He knew.
"Who?" Callie said quietly, her voice hoarse from crying.
"Glenn," Rick said quietly his hands finally falling from her shoulders. He settled one to his raised knee and raked the other through his own hair, his eyes angling to the sleeping girl behind them. Callie shook her head and let out a sigh. "Don't be mad at him. He didn't really want to tell me, I could tell. I cornered him before he left."
"Left?" Callie said, her eyes going wide as Rick shifted his attention back to her. "Where did he go?"
"Back to the highway," Rick said in a slow deliberate tone. "To tell the others."
"Shit," Callie began to push past him working to stand but a wave of dizziness followed quickly by Rick's hands at her arms settled her back down. She wanted to be angry, she felt angry. But it wasn't at Glenn. It wasn't at Rick either. She was angry at herself. Angry at the world. But that anger soon ebbed away and the only feeling left, was the one she'd been trying to fight off since the world ended around her.
Defeated.
Rick must have seen it. He must have been able to read it in the way her body sagged or the way her eyes rolled to the bed. He sighed and put the hand that had been itching at the wound at the back of his head to her knee. Before he could open his mouth, she sucked in a breath and worked to quell that feeling before it could take over.
"How's Carl?" Callie asked suddenly, shocking the man before her for an instant with the calm tone of her voice. Again setting her own grief aside to help him with the weight of his own worries. He shook his head at her as she rubbed at the spot where her blood had been drained and given to his boy.
"He's hangin' in," Rick said watching her rub away the tears on her face and nod. He saw her desperately trying to build up her defenses, and while he wanted her to let that guard down and allow him to help, he knew she wouldn't. Not for him. He grimaced at the strange feeling that put into his chest, and shook his head working to press whatever that was far away. "Thanks to you." She looked up at him and put a hand to his shoulder squeezing once. "Hershel, Patricia and Maggie are readying the room for surgery."
"Are they back?" Callie worked to stand up and this time she didn't let him settle her back down. He sighed and shook his head and simply helped her to stand as he shook his head.
"No," Rick ran his free hand over his face as they both stood staring at Jenna, her labored breathing wracking her small frame in the covers. "Hershel said we couldn't wait any longer. Lori and I," he took a breath. "We had to make a decision. We chose to try." Callie shifted her eyes to him and he caught her eye. "Carol's sitting with Lori and T-Dog in the living room."
A moment of silence fell over them, as they just continued to stare at the girl in the bed. Her red hair fanned out around her pale, sweat-slicked face. The infection had already settled so deeply into her, the fever, and no doubt the pain-Callie shook her head and put her hand to Rick's shoulder.
"He's gonna be fine," she said quietly. He let out a small scoffing sound and shook his head at her.
"You should have told me," Rick said quietly, his own voice raspy and coarse as if he were holding back tears. She looked to his face in the dim light of the room and saw the watering of his eyes glisten just a bit. "You should have told me."
"You had enough to worry about," Callie said almost angrily wiping at her own tears. Why the fuck couldn't she control that flow of water the way the men in her life seemed to be able to do? "Do you feel better now that you know? Do you feel good?" He was shaking his head at her his mouth moving as he worked to say something. "I knew the moment you found out you would take this on your shoulders. Blame yourself. And you didn't need that. You needed to be with Carl and Lori. Fuck, you should be with Lori now, not here."
"Lori was two steps behind me when I was coming here," Rick said angrily, his voice rising slightly before slipped an angered look to Jenna in the bed. "And if Hershel hadn't pulled us aside to ask us about the surgery she'd be here now."
"Jesus, you told her," Callie wiped her hand over her forehead and pressed back against the pressure there. "You two have enough to worry about, Rick. There is no reason for you to take on worrying about this too."
"But it's fine for you to just take on the weight of the world alone?" Rick threw a hand out at her and she backed up a step at his outburst. She stumbled and he sighed and caught her elbow righting her again. "It doesn't work that way, Callie. Being a family doesn't work that way." She opened her mouth and he dragged her back to him so that she was an inch away from his face. "Don't even say it. We're family now. We're all each other has now. You don't have to take this on alone." She stared at him and he tightened his grip on her elbow. "You should have told me."
Callie's chin dropped to her chest and his hand slipped off of her arm. Jenna stirred, her body arching a bit in pain and Callie moved away and towards the bed. She felt Rick's eyes on her as she settled on the edge of the bed. She took a few breaths and then reached forward to the bowl of water and rag settled on the nightstand. Wringing out the rag she shushed the still sleeping girl who seemed to be in the throes of a nightmare herself and put the cool cloth to her too hot skin.
Rick's eyes were still on her, and she heard his soft steps as he moved to stand behind her. She would not apologize for the choice she made. She wasn't sorry. And he knew that.
"This whole time," Rick started then cleared his throat. "Since we got here and got Carl stabilized. Since my brain actually had time to process what had happened," he stepped closer and she slid the cloth over Jenna's forehead. "I've been thinking about the CDC." Her brow narrowed and her fingers stilled. "I've been thinking about what Jenner told us. About us all being-" he cut himself off and slipped his gaze to the slightly ajar door. "And I sat at Carl's bedside and I prayed."
"Rick," Callie started as she looked up to him, he shook his head at her.
"I said I wanted proof," Rick said quietly his voice even more coarse as he fought back the strong emotions pouring into his words. "I said I needed proof but I never-" he shuddered a bit. "I sat there and I worried that one of those times that his breathing hitched, and it looked like it wasn't going to start up again… I worried that the next time he opened his eyes they would be clouded and dead," Rick's voice cracked and Callie let the washcloth fall to the ground as she got to her feet. "Now with this surgery going down—" he stopped again and his eyes widened as her hands lifted to grip his arms. "I feel like I lied to Lori."
"Rick," Callie said again stepping closer.
"He woke up," Rick said ignoring her and the feel of her hands. "Scared me to death because I'd been there, fingering my gun," He shook his head as a sickening feeling overwhelmed him. "But he was fine. He said he remembered the deer. The fuckin' deer, Callie." He let a mirthless laugh filter out and shook his head. "I told Lori we had to try. I didn't tell her what Jenner said. I told her that we had hope, that we had to -"
"Of course you do," Callie said emphatically and he shook his head at her.
"Then I cornered Glenn and made him tell me what you were hiding from me." Rick stared hard at her. "And I felt sick. I felt so," he searched for the word and finally grabbed her shoulders. "I feel so horribly selfish. For not pushing you. For letting you hide it when I knew something wasn't right. Even now, I feel it, for burdening you with my worries about-I feel horrible knowing that while I was worried about something that may not go down, you were sitting her alone just waiting for it to happen. God," he said on a strangled sob, she shook her head and he nodded, her eyes slipping to Jenna. He pulled her a bit and caused her eyes to come back to his, the tears falling free down his face now. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." He pulled her forward and she fell into his embrace.
Callie shook her head against his chest and held tight to him, again giving herself up to the feeling of defeat and hopelessness that had settled into her chest. She let her tears fall, feeling his own as he pressed his face into her neck. Sounds of a commotion outside in the house had them breaking apart.
Rick moved faster than her, the dizziness of her two transfusions causing her to falter at the doorjamb. He looked back and she waved him off as she worked forward using her hand along the wall to steady herself as she headed towards the foyer.
She made it there just in time to see Shane hobble through the front door and pass of two large bags to a stoney-faced Hershel. Shane's eyes slid to the form of Patricia and Callie just barely made out the words 'didn't make it', and 'sacrificed himself to save us'.
"Miles?" Callie asked quietly falling forward a bit as the weeping Patricia was pulled away by Maggie and Hershel. Rick's hand shot out to steady her and he looked to Shane.
"I'm here," the kid's voice was low as he worked his way slowly in to the house. His bloodied forehead and the way he was cradling his broken arm, with his broken cast, to his body had both Shane and Rick reaching out to him. He pushed past them and went directly to Callie who was opening her arms for him.
"Dear God, what happened to you?" Callie said as she dragged the obviously injured boy to her. She held him tight and he held her back. Her hands curled into the fabric of his shirt and held him tighter than she probably ever had before. And it didn't take long for her to start to cry again. Relief coursing through her and mixing with everything else causing it to be too much. Miles stiffened in her embrace, his eyes narrowing and slipping over her head to Rick who closed his eyes and shook his head slightly at the boy's enquiring gaze.
"What is it?" Miles asked suddenly, his hands pushing Callie to arm's length. He searched her face and she just shook her head. Miles again looked towards Rick and Shane.
"Is it Carl?" Shane asked immediately, his body working to hobble past his friend to where Hershel and the others had disappeared.
"No," Rick responded quietly, his eyes slipping to Callie. She looked to Miles, and her hands settled at his arms gently, his eyes sliding over her face in confusion and fear. "It's not Carl."
I watched you suffer a dull aching pain
Now you decided to show me the same
No sweeping exits or off stage lines
Could make me feel bitter or treat you unkind
Wild horses, couldn't drag me away
Wild, wild horses couldn't drag me away
~Wild Horses/ The Rolling Stones
AN: And thus ends part one. Bear with me folks, I'm working hard to get everyone back together soon. I wanted to reach out to all of you and let you know that I am so glad that you've kept with me as I delve deep into some very painful areas for our crew of misfits. I know that it's a lot to deal with, and as always I appreciate your readership, and comments more and more.
And…on a silly little side note. When I was writing Rick and Callie's conversation, and delving into Rick's feelings…the Jenner revelation and so on, really something struck me. I got so many comments, about saving Sophia, and saving Jenna…and yet I don't think in all the stories/reviews I've read have I ever once heard of someone ask to kill of Carl. Hmmm…. I've read more about how annoying he is, how he's constantly causing trouble…and yet strangely no one's ever said to an author…are you gonna kill Carl.
No spoilers here peeps, just an interesting notion that popped into my brain.
With that I leave you
See ya in part 2.
Much love!