Embracing the Light and the Dark

One Month Later….

There is no fury like that of a she wolf scorned. I was now hated by Leah more than ever. It was sad because before our interlude she'd actually started to trust our kind but now she found us all the more manipulative and shady. It had been a month since I surrendered to my monster and I still hadn't kept my word to Leah.

I told her I'd make things right but I hadn't said one word to my wife. It was mainly because I didn't know how to break it to her. I didn't want to break up my family simply because I was bored and horny. I was extremely horny. I couldn't make love to my wife, I couldn't fuck her after everything with Leah. Leah had taken my lust and my passion hostage and she refused to allow me a release. She claimed that she was stupid once and she would never be that stupid again. She wanted me to make a choice and to choose her, but there was so much more to be considered than her and I. I had to look out for my daughter.

Actually it was my daughter that continued to make it necessary for me to converse with Leah at all. Tonight would be one of those awkward situations where my wife and Leah would be in the same room as me and I would feel torn. Tonight was Ness' dance recital. Leah had found an after school program that taught dance she and Bella both thought that it was necessary for Ness to interact with other children for her development. Since she couldn't enroll in school this was the next best alternative. Bella and I had just dropped Ness off at the high school where the recital was taking place. We were on our way to pick up Charlie and Sue. Seth and Jacob were going to be there a little later and Leah was supposed to be catching a ride with them. We pulled up to the Swan house and Bella tapped on the door. Leah opened the door and her distain for both of us was more than evident on her face.

"Hey," she greeted us dryly as she walked away from the door and expected us to follow her. "Mom is almost ready and Charlie isn't here yet," Leah explained as she picked at her hair.

"And what about you are you ready?" Bella asked as she examined my she-wolf. I took a moment to do the same. She was wearing skin tight black leggings a white camisole and a long grey drape. She looked like she was staying in for the night.

"Yeah about that, I know Ness is expecting me but I am not up to going. It's rare that everyone is out of the house and it would be nice to have a moment to just be alone," Leah murmured.

"Well that's pretty selfish of you," Bella griped at Leah with her hands on her hips. Leah glared at Bella but said nothing. "For some reason my daughter looks up to you and when she looks out into the audience she's going to be searching for you and you're not going to be there! You truly are a cold, unfeeling, self-centered harpy!"

"Are you finished?" Leah asked after Bella's rant. "All of those things you spewed at me aren't original. I've heard them before, matter-of-fact I've heard them so many times that I think those words have lost their effect on me. The one person that does think well of me is Ness, and I spoke with her and let her know there may be a chance I wasn't coming and she's cool with it." Leah drew her legs up onto the couch and tucked them underneath her. Bella rolled her eyes and I could tell she was disgusted with Leah. I knew that Leah could care less. I felt guilty. I knew that Leah didn't want to come because she didn't want to deal with being around me.

"I need some air I can't be around her right now!" Bella stormed out of the house. I could hear her making a call to Charlie to see how much longer we were going to have to wait. I sat down beside Leah and she scooted as far away from me as possible. She closed her drape in an attempted to cover more of her flesh. It made no matter to me I had the contours of her body committed to my memory.

"Regardless of all this other shit you should be there for Renesmee. You're the one that helped her with her little dance and stuff. You're the main person she was excited to show everything to." Leah looked straight ahead and then back to her fingernails.

"Just make sure someone records it. I'll watch it later," she said bluntly in an attempt to sound indifferent but I knew better. Leah was hurting because she wanted to go. She just couldn't deal with looking me in the face anymore. She went to go to her room. I quickly got in front of her and blocked her way to the stairs. She wanted to push me but thought better of touching me at all.

"Don't go up there because I'll want to follow you," I whispered as quietly as possible. She scoffed and crossed her arms.

"I'm not doing this with you. You do know how much I hate you right. I've tried to make it abundantly clear but apparently screaming it at you in my thoughts isn't good enough. I HATE you Edward! The only reason I haven't outted your ass is because I love your daughter to so much and I don't want to be the cause of her hurting. So get your wife to back the fuck off because I don't deserve this shit!"

"Jealousy," I murmured.

"No, rage pure and simple." I noticed the tears in Leah's eyes and her hands were shaking violently. I moved to the side so she could go to her room. There was no debating with her when all she was seeing was anger and hate.

The recital was typical and boring. I could tell the women were really enjoying watching the little kids as they tried their best to perform their moves. "I wish we could have another one," Bella whispered to me and I just smirked a little. I had no idea what to say to that. I loved Renesmee but I didn't want another kid. I was pretty sure I didn't want this marriage anymore but I was stuck.

"Ladies and gentlemen I present to you Little Diamonds!" It was my daughters turn to shine. I watched as she twirled around the stage and moved in perfect unison with her classmates. Seeing her like this made her seem older and something built up inside of me.

"Pride," I whispered and Bella grabbed my hand and squeezed it gently. If tears could've formed in my eyes they would've. All the girls were in their final poses and the crowd started to applaud I noticed as Ness' eyes surveyed the crowd and they froze and widened with excitement as she gazed in the back of the auditorium. I saw Leah through my daughter's mind's eye. She was clapping and blowing kisses at my daughter. Then I saw it, tears, they were the tears I wished I could shed for her. Leah was proud of my daughter too.

After Ness' performance there was a brief intermission. We all went into the cafeteria area and waited for Ness to come around to see us. After a few minutes she came around and Leah was holding her hand. "Did you see I finally got the turn right?"

"Yeah you were perfect kid!" Leah ruffled Ness' copper hair and then released her hand. Ness came over and hugged her mother and me. Then she started conversing with everyone else. It only took me a second to notice Leah's departure. She was heading down the hall and was almost out of the double doors. I caught up to her quickly enough without putting for any real effort. I grabbed her arm and squeezed it roughly.

"Ow Edward, let me go!" She tried to snatch her arm back. She should've known that wouldn't work. Just that minor moment of struggle was enough to awaken something that had be slumbering within me. I forced myself to ignore it, there were too many people around to be reckless here.

"Stop struggling Leah. I just wanted to thank you for coming Ness seemed to be thrilled to see you." Leah nodded and looked away from me.

"Well, I did it for selfish reasons. I wanted to see if the kid had taken any of the notes I'd given her." Leah shrugged and then tried to retrieve her arm from my grasps once more.

"Edward," she groaned and I held on even tighter.

"Beg me Leah," I whispered and she rolled her eyes.

"Not this shit again," she scoffed. "Look, I've been thinking about your need to possess me this way. Why don't you just have rough sex with your wife? Since it's clear to me that you're not … that you don't … I'm not a home wrecker. I know you're a good man and a gentlemen for the most part. I don't know why you've resorted to this behavior around me. I guess I just bring out the best in men, anyway, we will never engage in what happened that night again. I deserve more than to be some vampire man's release, so let me go Edward and get back to your wife!" Leah and I gazed at each other for a moment. It took some time but I finally released her. I watched as she left the school and entered the night.

"This isn't over Leah," I muttered as I turned and went back to my family. My daughter hugged me once more and started talking to me about the other dance courses that were available. I loved my little girl she was the light of my world, but she wasn't enough. The world consists of both the light and the dark. There was still the darkness the captured my soul and Leah sung to it, she screamed every freaking syllable.

Author's Note: I don't know if I'm going anywhere with this. It was a dream that was blaring in my head all day so I decided to put it down on paper. Tell me if you think I should continue or leave well enough alone.