Our Sins and the Aftermath

Leah laid motionless in the master bedroom. I stared at the disgruntled look on her face. I could hear her heart beating and the bleeding had stopped all she needed was time. I pulled out some of my loungewear for her to change into. I peaked over at her shoulder to witness the healing taking place. I was still amazed at how fast their kind healed themselves. I strolled into my living room and sat at my piano. It was still raining but night had replaced the greyness of the day. I looked over the musical notes and tweaked them slightly. I began to play something slow and haunting. I felt that's what this day called for something sad and painful. Leah's pain should be my pain. I should be the one wishing for death but I wasn't. Never through this whole process did I wish to die. I'd felt that I'd brought dishonor to my daughter, Esme, and Carlisle yet I still didn't feel as low as I did when I went to the Volturi. Why? These crimes were far worse but I couldn't feel the proper emotion. I almost felt as though I was entitled to Leah even though I'd caused her all of this pain. She wasn't my property or territory logically I knew this but my mind was a really weird thing right now.

"I'm trying to be better," I murmured. Maybe Esme was right, maybe I was mentally ill. Just as I primed my fingers to get ready to play I noticed a timid disoriented figure in my peripheral vision. I turned to her and noticed that she hadn't changed into the clothing I left out for her. She stood there in only my shirt that was stained with her blood. I was sure she was bound to still be weak and hurting.

"I left clothes on the bed," I told her and she had nerve to glare at me.

"I don't need your hand outs and I for damn sure don't need your help. You've ruined me and you don't even have the decency to allow me an honorable death. You're determined to witness me suffer. Fuck you Edward Cullen!" She stormed toward the door and I of course stopped her from leaving. I hitched her over my shoulder and plopped her down on the couch. She went to get up again and I slammed her down.

"You don't deserve death Leah," I stated bluntly.

"I am tainted, damaged goods. No one on the reservation will ever want to wed someone like me I've been used up. I'm so far from the life I've seen from myself. I'm not welcome anywhere. I have no home." Leah spoke like a drone she seemed lifeless except for the single tear that ran down her face.

"I'm sorry that I've caused you to have such a poor self-view," I murmured and for the first time in a long time I actually felt the proper emotion guilt. Leah scoffed and turned away from me. "I'm serious Leah. I am sorry that you've been exiled, but I will not you death on my conscious. I will help you redeem your name or start over somewhere new whichever you choose. You can stay here with me until your wounds completely heal." She laughed in my face.

"What would make you think I'd even consider staying here with you? You've ruined my life!" She screamed and began to sob. "You ruined my life!"

"I know," I whispered. I inched toward her and gathered her into my arms she struggled against me at first but eventually fell limp against my body. Her little whimpers and whines were the only sounds that were heard in the whole house. "That night after we committed our sin we both had visions or dreams of us in the long run. I behaved cowardly because I didn't want to deal with the aftermath … but the truth is we wanted each other. We still do."

"Shut up Edward," she croaked. "I don't and never wanted anything to do with you sorry pathetic ass!" She tried to pull away from me but something inside me told me to hold her tighter.

"I don't need you to confirm or deny anything. You have nowhere to go so you're staying here. You can't go home because you'll be killed. I have a few ideas on how to redeem you let me put a few things in motion to restore you name and then you never have to look at me again."

"It's not like I have a choice. I'm stuck here because I'm sure you won't let me leave," she muttered dryly.

"Smart girl. Like I said before I left some clothes on the bed so go change out of this bloody shirt." I released her and she did as I asked. I knew I was going to reach out to someone who really wanted to stay impartial but I needed him now. He could help me make things right for Leah even if he didn't want to see my face.

"I guess it's time to make that call," I said as I pulled my cell out and called Jasper. Everyone knew what Jasper's power was he could appeal to Leah's tribe and to my daughter and tell them my actions were malicious and Leah was only a victim. First I needed to get Jasper alone to see where his head was at regarding all of this. I received no answer but I expected that much. I left a voicemail explaining to him the scene I'd witnessed with Leah and the other wolves. I was sure he'd get back to me when he had the chance. I heard the stairs creek as Leah came down them and made her presence known.

"I'm hungry," she whispered before sitting down beside me and balling her legs up underneath her.

"I'm sure I can wrestle up something … I can order a mean pizza," I offered the woman a smile and she gave a glimpse of a smile but sadness was still evident in her eyes. I was determined to change it and make it better.