New Meanings To Old Words: Love
We're in original content territory here people… but a bit of mix of some stuff you may recognize. Which is just the way I roll, right? So yeah…
As always, read, review and enjoy!
~michelle
Disclaimer: I own nothing, except Callie and the crew of misfits (Danny, Miles, Jenna, Mike, Nina, Ben and Gracie).
Why Do The Men Stray
Why do the men stray; why do the women pray
Why do the men fight; why do the women sympathize.
Whoa, it was easier before I loved; Before this heart turned to stone
Before this blood was stirred and blood was spilled; No one was ever meant to be alone
Callie watched Carol settle her bag on her stiff shoulders. The other woman spared a glance back towards her giving a meek smile and a nod of her head before falling into step with T-Dog and surprisingly Glenn. The darkening skies had apparently put off the kid and Maggie's trip into town until the next day.
A fact that had left Glenn almost comically relieved. Which had left Callie smirking and Daryl cringing when the kid had shot him a look as he fell into step with T-Dog moments ago.
"We'll be back before nightfall," Daryl said quietly from his spot on the other side of Callie. "Maybe earlier if this sky actually opens up like it looks like it's gonna." His eyes slid from the three people working their way towards the fence area and up to the sky. The dark clouds were moving fast, swirling overhead and killing any vestiges of what had once been a beautiful blue sky. After a beat Daryl slipped his eyes over to Rick, catching the deputy's eye.
"Be careful," Rick said standing up and putting his hands to his hips. "Keep your eyes open. Rain can drown out sound, so be sure to stay on your toes." Rick shifted his eyes to Callie and he let out a sigh as he ran his hand through his hair and looked back to Daryl. "Good luck. We'll see you when you get back."
Daryl gave a stiff nod and then shifted his eyes to Callie. She pushed off of the Hummer and slipped her hands into her back pockets. He bit at the inside of his cheek for a moment, obviously debating what he wanted to do. Finally he just nodded and she cracked a wider smile at him. His eyes rolled over her shoulder and he snarled a bit, causing her to look as well.
Jimmy was slowly making his way towards them, his eyes searching around their little campsite a bit before landing on Rick. Callie shifted her attention back to Daryl put her hand up and tapped her fingers along the strap to his crossbow.
"Better move your ass before they leave you behind, Dixon." Callie said turning half-way to watch Rick steer Jimmy towards them.
"They ain't goin' nowhere, fuckers would be lost in a second," Daryl shot back, his eyes skipping from hers to where Jimmy now stood a bit confusedly waiting. He bit at his cheek again and looked hard at Callie, his eyes shifting to the gun settled in the front of her waistband. He tapped his finger on it, and pulled just a bit at her loose waistband causing her to stumble into him a bit. "Don't be an idiot."
"Sweet talker," Callie said shifting away from his hand and pushing at his chest. "Get the fuck outta here, boy. I got shit to do." Callie said in her best Merle impression. Daryl smiled, really smiled at her, and she waved him off. Shaking his head Daryl moved to meet up with Glenn, T-Dog and Carol who were waiting near the fence for him. Callie watched Daryl walk away, catching him slide his gaze over his shoulder twice before finally shaking his head and picking up his pace.
Callie then turned towards Rick and Jimmy, watching the boy shift awkwardly on his feet as he shifted his gaze between her and the now departing group heading further into the fields. Callie slid her hands further down into her back pockets and stared at the boy.
"Uh," Jimmy shifted his eyes between Callie and Rick as he furrowed his brow. "Doctor Greene said that I should help out with the search," he took a breath and let his eyes slide again over Rick and Callie before pointing a slightly unsteady finger towards the disappearing crew. "Should I go catch up?"
"No, son," Rick said putting a hand to his shoulder and giving him a bit of a smile. "You're not going with them. You're helping us," Rick took a breath and shifted his weight a bit before finishing. "With Jenna."
"I—I don't understand," Jimmy said looking at Rick and then watching warily as Callie gave him a small smile, her teeth bared just a bit causing the smile to take on a slightly intimidating tone. Jimmy swallowed hard, and kept his eyes locked on Callie's. "I thought y'all weren't looking for her." He swallowed and tried to take a step back, but Rick put his hand to the boy's arm and held him in place. "H-how am I supposed to help?"
"Well," Callie said calmly, her eyes shifting to Rick's and then back to Jimmy's confused face. "You're gonna show us where you took her."
Callie followed slowly behind Jimmy, her eyes riveted to the silent boy leading her and Rick away from the tiny gravel parking lot where he'd parked Otis' truck. She thought the ride along that road had been quiet, but she'd been wrong. Callie had been settled uncomfortably in the front seat of Otis' truck between Rick and the stoic Jimmy as he drove them along the bumpy dirt road. And that anticipatory hush that had settled in the cab was nothing compared to the thick sort of stillness that had settled in that cab when the church came into view.
And it balked in comparison to the deathly silence that clung to the air around them now. Rick's eyes skipped over his shoulder and he slowed his pace just enough to reach out a hand to her and help her along as they passed by the slightly swinging open doors of the church. Callie and Rick stopped briefly, but didn't linger as they watched the kid keep moving. Rick's steps faltered a bit and Callie held his gaze for a moment before he shook his head and kept them moving.
Daryl had been right about one thing. Neither her or Rick were in any real shape to be doing anything. Blood transfusion, after blood transfusion. Sleepless night, after sleepless night. Wounded spirits, wounded bodies. Fuck walking the way they were now, Callie was sure that if that kid wanted to, he'd easily be able to kill both of them and leave them to rot up on this hill.
Like he'd apparently done with Jenna.
Rick must have shared her thoughts, which was why he'd been sure to make remove the kid's –Otis' rifle from the back of the truck before they left.
The growing darkness of the skies overhead bathed the small church in hues of gray, and made the landscape that stretched out from it even more foreboding than before. The dark shapes of bodies scattered about the dull green lawn, causing the wafting smell of decay to settle in Callie's nose. The sound of the wind blowing hard through her ears, as her blood rushed louder and louder with each step drown out Rick's words. His mouth moved and Callie merely stared through him and at the grounds.
"Are you alright?"
Rick's fingertips slid over Callie's right hand and up her arm, leaving a trail of goose-bumps as a chill settled deep into her bones. She nodded. Idly she wished she'd put on something other than a t-shirt. Rick's hand wrapped around her forearm and he held tight as her steps trudged along after him. Rick squeezed his hand around her arm, giving her a single silent nod of understanding.
She wanted to know what happened. But like any sane person, she dreaded seeing it. Rick for his part was keeping his head, treating her like the mother of a victim and working hard to distance himself from whatever they were going to find. But Callie could feel the tension in his hand as he gripped her arm, the slight faltering of his own steps as they watched the boy come to an abrupt halt in the field of dead Walkers.
A few fallen leaves from the trees around them flew in tumultuous loops around their ankles as she and Rick slowed their gait. The loud banging of the red painted church doors matched the hard pounding rhythm of her heart as Callie came to a stop.
"I don't understand," Jimmy's voice was low and confused. His hands lifted to his hair, raking through and pulling at the strands as he lifted wide eyes to look at Rick and then Callie. Callie felt Rick's hand tighten. "I don't-she was here. Right here. I don't understand."
Callie's eyes slipped past the figure of the boy and she sucked in a deep breath, her arm slipping from Rick's grip and grabbing his hand tightly as she stared down at the ground.
Her eyes met nothing but blood-soaked grass. The amount of blood was jarring and instantly caused bile to raise high in the back of her throat. The image of the blood-soaked grass, gore and what looked like vomit burned forever into that deep part of Callie's brain; that place where all her nightmares grew and thrived in this wondrous fucking hell on Earth that they now found themselves a part of.
The only thing missing was the body of the girl from which all of that garish horror originated.
"I don't understand," Jimmy's voice repeated and Callie suddenly felt the pull of her anger reach a point of no return.
She snapped her hand out of Rick's grasp, and grabbed the boy by his arm turning him quickly and forcing his confused and scared eyes to hers. Her anger burned like a raging fire deep in the pit of her stomach, causing her hand to tighten around the boy's arm. Jimmy stared at her, and she snarled at him, her brain so muddled with everything around her that she couldn't even form words. In the haze of the rush of blood in her ears she barely made out the sound of Rick's voice. His calm voice calling out to her as if from a great distance, even though he stood right beside her, his hand working at her shoulder to try and pull her hand from the boy's arm.
That calming effect that Rick's steady voice usually had was lost somewhere in the howling wind of this field of horror. And it wasn't until Callie saw the tears slide down Jimmy's cheeks, and felt the searing path of her own as they blinked past her eyelids that she let her hand fall from his arm like the leaden weight it was.
Callie blinked a few more times and then worked her way back towards the church, and those open swinging red doors. Leaving Rick to call out after her. Another crack of lighting had Callie's entire body jumping, and her shoulders hunching to protect her fragile body as the boom of thunder that followed reverberated up through her weak legs and into her shivering spine.
The wind was so strong that Callie didn't even hear Rick's steps as he followed her. She didn't even register his presence until she found herself pulled away from the open doors of the church. Her back was pulled into his warm front, and her eyes closed as his hands squeezed tight into her chilled upper arms. She waited for him to say something, to somehow make this pain go away.
But he didn't say a word. He simply held her steady to his chest, and it wasn't until she registered the hitch of his breathing that she opened her eyes. She slipped her gaze up and over her shoulder to his face and was shocked to find his wide eyes staring confusedly into the shadowed interior of the church. Callie's eyes flew forward and her own startled gasp was muffled by her hands.
Daryl watched as Carol slid her delicate hands over the small bit of bedding that was stuffed into the low part of that pantry cabinet. The sound of her low sniffs and mumbled prayers was practically drowned out by the howling of the wind as it blew through the open doors and broken windows. The fluttering fabric of the bedraggled curtains in that small destroyed kitchen sounded like the wings of a bird, a vulture, a crow.
Fuck he didn't know, but it sounded ominous as hell and had him wishing he'd have taken up T-Dog or Glenn's spot outside searching the area.
As it was, he'd stayed with Carol. Stayed to offer some vestige of support as she stared into the small cramped little space that her daughter had found refuge in at least for one night. Stayed with her because that tiny little smile of thanks she'd given him when he'd settled that little slightly crushed Cherokee Rose on the cabinet in the sparkling clean back room of the RV had lingered in his mind.
It sparked the memory of another woman's timid smile; her face marred with bruises and his young brain too slow, too ignorant at the time to comprehend the meaning behind that smile.
A streak of lightning flashed outside followed by the loud boom of thunder and Daryl snarled as Carol jumped and spun to stare at him in wide-eyed fear and unshed tears. Fuck's sake he shoulda made the Chinaman stay with the cryin' woman.
Carol's eyes roved his face for a minute before she took in a deep breath and turned back towards the small cabinet. Daryl turned away from her the minute her back was turned, and settled his hip into the door frame before crossing his arms over his chest and staring out into the windblown clearing around the house. He spotted T-Dog and Glenn not far off near the far tree line obviously on their way back.
The sound of shuffling barely registered in his brain, his eyes half sliding to where he knew Carol was probably getting to her feet. Dusting her hands on her pants and trying to keep that stiff upper lip, but being betrayed by her bruised and diminished spirit. Daryl knew she wouldn't crumble though. He saw it in her eyes. Her body may have held the wear and tear of the life she lived, but her eyes told the story; held the strength.
He understood that. Understood her. S'why he couldn't really look into her eyes for too long.
"You were right about her," Carol's timid voice rang out like a tiny bell tryin' to be heard over the din of the coming storm. Daryl's eyes shifted just a bit catching her movement towards him like a shadow in his periphery. "About her being a survivor." Daryl's brow narrowed and he turned his body so that his back was against the door frame as he regarded the woman standing a few feet away from him. She smiled that little fuckin' smile and he just continued to stare. "Andrea told me what you said to her," Daryl snarled and turned away shaking his head at loud-mouthed fuckin' lawyers.
Carol didn't relent, not that he really expected her to. So when he felt her presence close the gap between them he shifted uncomfortably but didn't move away. 'Cause she'd a just followed.
"She always has been," Carol continued in a wistful tone. "And it gives me a kind of peace-of-mind to know that she's like that. Gives me hope." Carol's voice almost broke and Daryl sniffed and glanced over his shoulder at her. Carol's head was down, her gaze settled upon her slender fingers as they pulled at a small hanging thread on the sweater tied around her slim waist.
Sophia's sweater, which had apparently originally been Carol's. The sweater that he and Rick had found soaked in blood at the bottom of a tree in the forest. The sweater that he'd seen Carol draggin' angrily over an old washboard yesterday, desperate to get it clean. Daryl shifted a bit on his feet, not fully turning towards her but no longer giving the woman his back.
"She's strong 'cause her momma's strong," Daryl said simply, causing the woman's wide-twinkling eyes to fly to his face. He winced at the look on her face and turned his gaze back out to where T-Dog and Glenn were slowly milling about the lawn. The wind was whipping at their clothing now, stuttering their steps as they looked for any signs of Sophia or Walkers.
"No," Carol said quietly, Daryl's gaze falling unbidden over his shoulder and back onto her shaking head. The disgust showing on the woman's face was palpable in the air around them and smacked Daryl in the face when her eyes met his. "She's strong because I was weak. Because I chose to stay, to keep her in an environment where she needed to develop these skills you've so highly praised." Carol flung her hand around the room and Daryl's brows lifted at the usually timid woman's emotional outburst. She took a breath and gathered her thoughts, and Daryl bit at the inside of his cheek waiting for her to continue. "There are things that parents should do for their children," Carol said in an almost defeated tone.
"Yeah," Daryl said, anger making his voice rise above the low whisper. He turned to face her fully now and glared at her, watching shock filter over her features. "Yeah, and there are things that no parent should do," his voice was low and menacing and he knew it. But he couldn't fuckin' control it. "Don't make no fuckin' difference now. You gonna linger on that type of shit, you might as well just check out now. All that's gonna do is weigh you down and keep you from-" he shook his head. "Your girl is a survivor because you taught her to be."
Another flash of lighting followed by a close roll of thunder broke the silence between them, only this time Carol didn't jump. This time her eyes, shining with those fuckin' unshed tears of hers, bored holes into his. Daryl felt his lip twitching with the snarl as he maintained that eye contact. His hand twitched at his side, his bottom lip filtering between his teeth as he fought the urge to lift his thumb and nibble at that nail.
The sound of rain hitting off of the roof, heavy drops plummeting with a steadily increasing force had him blinking. He looked away, out the door, and watched T-Dog and Glenn sprint towards them.
"Why?" Carol's little tinkling bell of a voice sounded, and he was amazed at how clear it sounded through the growing strength of the storm. He didn't turn, simply shifted his eyes over his shoulder and glared at her out of his periphery. "Why are you so intent on finding her?"
He knew what he wanted to say. Could taste the words in his mouth and rolled them along his tongue and over his teeth, before snarling them away in a rush of anger and ill-ease. He wanted to shout out that he wanted to find her because she deserved to be found. She deserved to be safe for once in her short fuckin' life. She deserved the chance to live whatever kind of life she could, for once without the horror and fear of her father dogging her steps.
He wanted to find her because he knew if he didn't it might actually break what little bit of a spirit Carol had left. And he couldn't stand to see another woman in his life so brutally torn asunder by the pain of the world around them.
He wanted to say all of that. But he didn't. Instead he snarled and shook his head, blinking away that bit of wetness that had grown in his eyes. And he repeated the words that he'd heard Rick say over and over again.
"Little girl goes missing, you look for her." Daryl said finally turning to face Carol. Her eyes searched his, moving so rapidly over his that he was sure she could read everything he'd been trying to hide. The sound of heavy footfalls on the porch outside had him turning away from her.
In the next instant Daryl pushed past T-Dog and shifted his crossbow off of his shoulder.
"The fuck you goin' man?" T-Dog called out after Daryl, his eyes shifting from the angered redneck as he pushed his way past Glenn and back to Carol standing just inside the doorway to the tattered kitchen. "Hey! Where you goin'?"
"I'm gonna find the fuckin' girl!" Daryl yelled back, finally turning and walking backwards as he glared at T-Dog. His attention shifted to Glenn, the rain battering down on him as his mouth worked around words he wasn't saying.
"Alone?" Glenn's shouted over the pouring rain, his hand lifting to shield his eyes so that he could get a better look at Daryl. Daryl snarled and turned away, leaving Glenn to rock side to side on his toes in agitation. Glenn shifted his eyes to T-Dog and let out a large sigh as he hiked his backpack higher onto his drenched shoulders. Shaking his head Glenn turned and began to sprint towards Daryl.
Callie settled herself into the same fucking pew that Carol had sat in only a few days ago and stared at the large crucifix before her. Her eyes shifted down and took in the row of slumped bodies that had been removed from where her group had left them to rot and arranged against the dais. She felt a tear slide out of the corner of her eye, detouring over her cheek towards her nose where it ran down and landed at the corner of her lip. The salty taste caused her tongue to dart out and a sigh of a breath that she didn't know she'd been holding to release.
Prayer seemed like such a silly thing now, but for some reason Callie couldn't help but sit and ask forgiveness. Sit and pray for the souls of the people lined in front of her. She couldn't recall all the words of the Psalm, but her mouth moved with the ones she knew.
"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for Thou art with me," Callie's muttered words stopped and she sucked in a breath and shook her head. Rick's hand slipped over hers and he squeezed once. His body shifted a bit in his seated position beside her and she felt his eyes land on her face briefly before returning his own gaze to the bodies.
It wasn't until the moment that she looked in the doors and saw those bodies lined up at the altar that she realized this building wasn't a church anymore.
It was a mausoleum.
The white wash walls no longer housed the voices of the boisterous and loving congregation of its previous years. No. Now it held silence and death, and the rotting bodies of a boy's entire family. Callie swallowed and shook her head, her hand lifting idly to wipe away that stray tear that had fallen from her tight eyes.
"From what Hershel told me," Rick's voice was low those calming tones slightly hitched by his own distaste for what they had unknowingly done. "The man and woman are his parents," Rick continued his eyes closing for a moment. "His father had been the pastor here. The others are his brothers, his sister-in-law, and his nephew." Callie's jaw clenched tight as Rick talked, she felt his hand squeeze against hers and she took in a shuddering breath as her head began to nod.
"He locked them in here," Callie said her voice hoarse and unsure as she skipped her eyes over each decaying corpse. "He locked them in here because he couldn't bear to kill them," Callie shook her head and raised her brows as she shifted her gaze to Rick beside her. "And then we came in and—" Callie shook her head and pointed a shaking finger at Rick. "This world is fucked up. You shoulda stayed in your coma."
Rick huffed out a breath and rubbed at the bridge of his nose. His eyes slipped up to the Walker corpses lined along the altar, his nose twitching as the smell wafted around him in the swirling breeze from outside. They sat there for a few minutes longer, until finally Callie had just had enough. She pushed to her feet, her hands grasping tight to the pew for balance. Rick stood beside her and ran his hands through his hair before exiting the pew and holding out an arm for her to go before him. They both sent fleeting glances back at the bodies before exiting the church.
Jimmy was still standing in the field, his foot idly kicking at the body of a Walker. Callie's brow furrowed as she watched him kick the body and then crouch down as it rolled over onto its back, so that he could inspect it. She felt her mouth open in awe, and then snap shut as a sudden realization hit her.
"Do you see that," Callie asked Rick as she shifted her gaze over to him. She was relieved in some sense, to find that Rick had the same sort of awe and understanding showing on his face. "Rick, you see what he's doing?"
"He's inspectin' it," Rick said shifting his gaze to hers quickly before watching the boy lift a tattered arm and frown at it. Another flash of lightning ignited the air around them and had Jimmy's gaze lifting to the sky above before returning to the body of the Walker.
"Yeah," Callie said nodding. "But only that one. Only the one that Jenna took out."
"The only body not riddled with bullet holes," Rick's eyes slipped down to her and he held her gaze this time.
Realization hit them both at the same time, and had both of them sliding out into the howling wind. They came to a stop at the boy, his attention so riveted by the Walker and the wind blowing so loud around them that he didn't even hear their approach. Callie shifted on her feet and then crouched down across from Jimmy, the dead Walker settled between them.
"Jimmy," Callie said in a low tone that had his eyes snapping up to hers. He shot back from the Walker, his backside falling hard to the grass below and he clenched his jaw. Callie looked up to Rick and watched the former deputy crouch down beside her. "You couldn't do it could you? You couldn't kill them."
Jimmy's eyes slid from Callie to Rick and then back. Callie let out a sigh and looked down at the body of the Walker, letting Rick take the reins.
"You killed all of these Walkers up here," Rick said, shifting a bit and catching the boy's wide-eyed stare. "You came up here, and put on that recording of the bells knowing that it would attract the attention of any Walkers in the area. Then when they came, you shot them."
"You don't understand," Jimmy said waving his hands and shifting his scared glance from Rick to Callie.
"We do." Callie said lifting her gaze back to the church. Daryl's words from when they first stumbled upon this little church ground echoing in her head as she exchanged a glance with Rick. Target practice. "We do. You were practicing. You were trying to get yourself to the point where you could-"
"But you couldn't do it. No matter how many Walkers you killed up here, you just couldn't bring yourself to pull the trigger against your family." Rick finished. Both Callie and Rick watched as the boy stared at them, his mouth moving but no words coming out. Another flash of lightning and another boom of thunder caused the boy to shudder and his head to fall to his chest as he sucked in deep shuddering breath.
"I didn't know y'all came through here," Jimmy said quietly his head down and hands braced on either side of his face as he spoke. "Not until one of your people mentioned it. Then there was the girl, and I saw how much you were strugglin' with everything." Jimmy looked up at that point and caught Callie's eyes. Her jaw clenched tight, and she wanted to grab him and punch him, but Rick's hand on her arm stayed her anger. "I saw how hard it was for you, and how much pain the girl was in. So I—"
"So you brought her up here, to take care of her." Callie said between clenched teeth, her eyes hard as she glared at the boy. He shook his head emphatically and shot a pleading look between her and Rick.
"No," Jimmy said shaking his head. "Not at first. I was gonna leave her here with them. I wasn't-not until—" his eyes slid over their heads towards the church and he let out a shuddering breath. "Not until I saw them," his bottom lip quivered and he again raked his fingers through his hair, pulling as he shook his head slowly. "It was like this strange sort of weight that I didn't even know I was carryin' was lifted off of my shoulders when I looked in there and saw them all. Saw them—"
"Taken care of," Callie supplied shortly, earning a wan grimace of disapproval from Rick. She shook her head at the deputy and then returned her gaze to Jimmy as he nodded slowly.
"I figured, since y'all took care of my problem," Jimmy said lifting a hand towards the church. "That I owed you. That I'd take care of your-"
"I swear to God, boy, you say problem I'm gonna shoot you." Callie spat out as she shot to her feet. She shook off Rick's hand as it reached out this time, and instead gave herself a moment to breathe. Her anger at the boy hadn't really dissipated with the realization of what exactly he was trying to do like she thought it would.
Somewhere deep down she knew that he was just a kid. A kid who had been screwed up by this fucked up world they now lived in. A kid who didn't think he'd done anything wrong, and probably never would. He honestly believed that what he'd done here, the way he'd 'taken care of' Jenna for her, was him repaying a debt to them.
He honestly and truly believed that.
But that didn't change the fact that he'd hadn't taken care of it for her. He didn't seem to understand that there was a difference between a single shot to the head to end a person's suffering, and multiple bullet holes tearing through a person's body. Multiple, painful shots to a body already wracked with pain and fever. Shots that didn't kill her quickly. Shots that probably made those last few moments of that girl's life a living hell.
That. That Callie could never forgive.
Another bolt of lightning sliced the sky and the loud rumble of thunder shot up through her heavy legs as she circled the field. Finally her steps took her to that spot; that bloody spot that Jenna had laid in slowly bleeding to death alone and frightened. Her eyes slipped along the grass, over the obvious trail of gore and blood leading away from that spot. Away from the church and towards the dark wooded area beyond, where Jenna was now wandering.
Rick's familiar presence beside her had her teary eyes lifting from the ground and to his. He lifted his hand as she turned to face him and cupped her face. His tightly clenched jaw told her that he understood the anger she was feeling; that he not only understood it, but was struggling with it himself. She closed her eyes and let her cheek press into his palm for a moment. His fingers pulled her towards him and his lips pressed quickly into her forehead before he looked over her head at the tree line beyond.
The rain began to fall so suddenly and so hard that both Callie and Rick looked up at the dark sky in awe for a moment before lifting their arms to shield their heads. Callie saw Jimmy getting to his feet and rushing towards the church area to find some shelter under the awning.
"You said Hershel knew he came up here?" Callie asked Rick as she watched the boy duck under the awning and slowly turn to stare into the church. Rick nodded his head as they began to slowly walk towards the church. "Do you think he knew exactly what the kid was doing up here?"
"No," Rick said quickly shifting his gaze to her, blinking the rain from his eyes. "But I think he needs to know."
"I'd like to be there when you tell him," Callie said her eyes still on the boy.
"I figured you would," Rick said putting his arm around her shoulders to try and push her forward at a faster pace. They reached the church, at which point the now silent Jimmy fell into step before them and led the way back to the small gravel parking lot and Otis' old truck.
As Callie slid around the truck bed towards the passenger side, her eyes slid to the items settled in the bed. Her steps slowed and finally stopped at the tailgate, her eyes narrowing on the shovels and bags. Her hands dipped inside, and she raised her gaze to Jimmy who was staring at her from his position near the driver's door. The rain was pelting down on them but no one made a move to get into the truck as Callie lifted the bags from the truck bed.
Not just bags. Body bags.
"You were gonna bury them?" Rick asked eyeing the bags that Callie was lifting, his attention shifting from her to the boy. Jimmy nodded, and averted his gaze as Callie separated the bags counting each one in the pouring rain. Her eyes lifted slowly, confusion marring her drenched face.
"There are only six bodies in the church," Callie said quietly her voice barely registering over the thundering sound of the falling rain. Her eyes slammed into Jimmy's as she shook a bag at him. "Who's the seventh bag for?" Jimmy didn't answer he just shifted his eyes back towards the church.
"I didn't want to leave her out there with the rest of them nameless people," Jimmy said finally his eyes slipping back to Callie and then to Rick. "I really thought," he stopped and shook his head. "I shot her in the head the second time. At least I thought I did."
Callie's hands dropped the bags back into the bed of the truck and she turned her back in an effort to spare the boy the sight of utter pain that she knew was showing on her face. Rick was right there, both of his hands on her shoulders now as he looked over her head at the boy. He squeezed her shoulders tight and pulled her closer to his body, shielding her a bit from the rain as she took in three deep breaths, and then three more.
"Obviously you need a bit of target practice," Rick said in a disgusted tone as he shook his head and looked back to the church. He slipped his gaze down to Callie and she caught his eye, knowing in an instant what he was thinking. She let out a sigh and gave a single nod before turning in his grip and snatching the bags and one of the shovels. Rick grabbed the other two and tossed one to the confused Jimmy.
"What-"
"We're gonna bury your dead," Rick said succinctly, cutting off Jimmy's question and reaching forward and grabbing the boy by his shoulder and dragging him along. "They deserve a proper burial. And you deserve your closure." Callie shifted her eyes over her shoulder, squinting through the pouring rain at Rick as he led the boy by his shirtsleeves back to the church. His eyes were hard and his jaw clenched as he trudged through the rain soaked grass behind her, and when he spoke again the tone of his voice left a chill in the air. "Because, God as my witness boy, you're never comin' here again."
"Hey slow down," Glenn yelled out over the rush of the falling rain. Daryl of course didn't pay him any attention, and simply kept moving at his breakneck pace. "Mind clearin' pace, boy." Glenn muttered to himself remembering Daryl saying something about that when he was leading them through the woods days ago.
Glenn hiked his backpack up a bit more on his shoulders and raked his fingers through his soaked hair. Sliding his eyes up to catch Daryl moving further away he shook his head and started walking. He should have just let the man be. If there was anyone that could survive on their own in the woods, even in a torrential downpour like this, it was Daryl Dixon.
He knew that.
But that didn't mean he was gonna just let the guy kill himself trying to find Sophia. They were all in this together. They all wanted to find her. God, after what happened with Jenna, Glenn wanted to find that Sophia more than ever.
Glenn's eyes slipped around the woods and narrowed at the sight of yet another scratch mark across the trunk of a nearby tree. That was three now. And while Glenn boasted some mad skills when it came to reading maps, he knew for a fact he knew dick-all about tracking in the woods. Glenn was city-folk, and damn proud of it.
But, even he knew that animals didn't make such freakishly similar marks. Horizontal marks.
"Hey!" Glenn called out to Daryl, rolling his eyes when the redneck ignored him. "Hey Dumbass!" Glenn yelled out and the immediately followed it with a mumbled 'oh shit' as the redneck 'dumbass' in question spun on his heel and hit him with a look that would have probably actually killed him had they been closer. "Oh fuck," Glenn muttered watching Daryl stalk towards him.
Glenn let his eyes slide back to the mark on the tree, again running his hand over his face to wipe away all the rain. The sight of that mark had his shoulders straightening and that steel fucking spine that Danny swore he had flaring back to life. He shifted his eyes flippantly to Daryl and shook his head, which earned a growling kind of glare from the man. It was that moment that Glenn realized steel spine or not, Daryl could still snap it in a heartbeat. So before Daryl could grow any more annoyed Glenn continued.
"Check this out," Glenn said turning and waving Daryl over towards the tree he'd been looking at. Glenn checked over his shoulder to make sure the redneck was in fact following him and then crouched down a bit to point at the mark. "I spotted this same type of mark on three different trees now." Daryl crouched down next to Glenn and looked hard at the mark. Glenn raised a brow. "Now, I'm no professional tracker or anything, I mean you know, I can barely read a map," Daryl shot Glenn a look and the kid smiled widely, Daryl shoved at Glenn hard toppling him to the wet ground below. Glenn pushed to his feet and grimaced at his pants and mud covered hands. "What do you think it is?"
Daryl and ran his fingers along the mark on the bark, blinking the rain out of his eyes. A grimace firmed his lips into a tight line as his fingers slid over the wet bark, and he gave his head a single shake. He'd been so intent on just getting away from that fuckin' house and that fuckin' woman that he'd completely missed it.
He'd missed it and Glenn, fuckin' Glenn of all people, had to be there to point it out to him. If there was a God up there, then Daryl was pretty sure that this wasn't rain. This was the fucker's tears streaming down as he laughed his ass off at him.
Daryl shook his head and let the moment of anger pass, his fingers tracing over the slim line in the bark. His eyes slipped up and away and sure enough he spotted it on another tree a bit further ahead. He felt that bit of a smile work his way onto his lips as he got to his feet and ran his hand over his drenched face. That little girl was surprising him more and more. He shook his head, letting his eyes slide over the trees the pouring rain hindering his vision just a bit as he searched for more.
"Daryl?" Glenn asked from Daryl's back. Daryl looked over his shoulder and smirked at the kid, causing Glenn's eyes to widen just a bit.
"It's a trail," Daryl said jutting his chin forward towards the next tree he could see it on. "One that ain't gonna wash away in the rain." Daryl slipped forward and sent a long sort of assessing look at the still wide-eyed Glenn. "Nice catch."
Glenn started a bit then grinned back at Daryl as the rain poured down over them. Then the tiny bit of respect that he may have earned from the redneck was crushed as he ducked and let out a stuttering shriek when another bolt of lightning cracked across the sky. Daryl shook his head rolled his eyes before leaving Glenn to pick up the pieces of his pride.
They trudged along in silence after that, Daryl so intent on finding those markers that he almost forgot that Glenn was even there. Almost. The fuckin' kid kept letting out these little huffing sighs as he splashed along right behind Daryl. The rain had slowed a bit, probably more due to the fact that they were under a denser tree cover than anything, and Daryl was easily picking up the little markers.
Who knew how far they went, or where they led. Daryl's eyes skipped up to the dense leaf cover overhead and he grimaced, slipping his eyes over his shoulder as he thought about T-Dog and Carol back at that house. There was no way that they could stay out here and follow this thing today. They'd lost too much of the day already. And the aimless sort of wandering way the path was going had Daryl thinking this was gonna take hours.
Just as Daryl was thinking that they should head back he heard Glenn give another one of those sighs. Strangely he was reminded of all the huffin' and puffin' that Andrea had done days ago on the highway. All that sighin' that only ended in stupidity. Daryl closed his eyes and ran a hand down his face, stopping and causing the kid to practically run into his back.
"What?" Daryl snapped not looking over his shoulder until he heard the kid scrambling back and sputtering a bit.
"Huh?" Glenn responded, which had Daryl's head rolling on his shoulders as he turned and pierced the kid with an aggravated glare. Glenn's eyes went wide, and Daryl lifted an expectant brow at him. "Uh," Glenn cleared his throat and looked like he was finally gonna break. Then he shook his head and muttered, "Never mind."
Daryl simply stared at Glenn for a couple of seconds, watching the kid firm his lips and grimace at himself. His eyes were dartin' about all over and his feet were fidgeting around. No wonder the fuckin' kid lost every hand to Miles and Danny when they played poker. Daryl shook his head and turned his back, figurin' that they could maybe scout a bit further and then head back. Hopefully by that time the kid would work up the nerve to just spit out whatever the fuck he was wantin' to say.
Daryl only hoped that it wasn't what he was beginning to fear it -
"Daryl," Glenn's voice called out and Daryl stopped again, slipping his annoyed glare back over his shoulder. The kid was fidgeting again but his eyes were locked on Daryl this time. "About yesterday and the whole 'it's the end of the world I'm not interested in a fling thing'."
"Oh fuck," Daryl muttered, his hand flying up to rub at his forehead between his eyes.
"I just well," Glenn started and Daryl let out a long sigh as he half-turned to face the kid. "I realized that maybe what I was saying didn't come out right." Daryl raised a brow and turned fully to face the obviously uncomfortable Glenn. "I didn't mean it to be anything against you and—" Glenn stopped at the look on Daryl's face and then sighed, his head falling a bit before he finally just decided to spit it the fuck out. "How did you do it?"
"Huh?" Daryl's head shot back a bit, confusion causing his brow to furrow even more and his mouth to hang open a bit. The fuck was this kid talkin' 'bout?
"How did you get past it?" Glenn asked his head lifting as his confidence and honest to God interest spurred him on. "You know, the whole 'I don't need no one but me', 'I ain't lookin' to deal with no woman and her needs', 'it's the fuckin' end of the world who needs that shit', blah, blah, blah." Glenn finished, and looked over to Daryl. His mouth shut and he grimaced a little, hindsight making him realize that the Daryl impression was probably a bit of a bad idea. Glenn cleared his throat and shook his head before continuing in his normal voice. "We all heard it, man. We all believed it too." Glenn smiled just a bit. "Except Merle," he said earning a bit of a raised brow from Daryl. "He had bets going with Danny."
Daryl couldn't help but let out a bit of a chuckle, and shook his head before staring at the kid. Waiting for him to get to the point.
"So how'd you do it?" Glenn asked again, and again the question didn't really make sense to Daryl. Do what? Was this kid seriously asking him—
"You hit your head or somethin', Chinaman?" Daryl spat back shaking his head against the rolling rain. "You seriously follow my ass out here to ask me fuckin' relationship advice?"
"Look I don't need you to point out how stupid it sounds," Glenn said raising a hand. "Why do you think it took me so long to spit it out? It's just," Glenn sighed and looked at Daryl. "Out of everyone in our group, you and Callie kind of have the most stable relationship. And you did it during a fucking apocalypse."
There was a long beat of silence and then-
"Well shit," Daryl said running his hand through his hair as the rain slowed to a steady falling drizzle around them. "World must be fucked up if that's true." Glenn laughed at that point and Daryl turned away and started walking off.
"Hey!," Glenn shouted out following quickly behind. "So—"
"Do I look like fuckin' Dear Abby?" Daryl said waving his hand over his shoulder as he made his way towards the next little marker he could see. "You're a big boy, you figure your own shit out."
"So nothing," Glenn said almost whining in anger and annoyance, and Daryl flipped his eyes over his shoulder at kid. "You've got nothing."
"I got a shit load of problems," Daryl spat turning to look at the kid. "You want the nitty gritty of it. I don't really know what to tell ya, kid. All I wanted was to survive this shit. Now, I got fuckin' babies that I didn't want. I got two loud-mouth idiots that I gotta take care of. And I got a woman that thinks she's fuckin' invincible or some shit and is gonna make me go crazy pretty fuckin' soon. That's what I got. You want that?" Daryl spat tossing a harsh finger at the now shocked Glenn.
"I-I don't know," Glenn said his brow furrowing as he thought about it.
Daryl had a point.
Strangely enough, mixed in with the ranting and raving he was doing, he did actually have a point. Right now Glenn was really just responsible for his own safety. But if he took that step into unknown territory with Maggie, like she was kind of indicating she wouldn't mind with the way she was smiling and blushing when he was around. Well, then he'd have a whole set of problems he probably wasn't really equipped to handle. Father. Sisters. Friends. They'd be his to protect. His responsibility. Did he want that?
Glenn didn't really know about that. But he did know that when he saw Daryl and Callie together, offering comfort in the strange sort of way that they did. When he saw that it made him just a bit jealous.
"I don't really know about all that," Glenn said honestly as he looked up at the expectant Daryl. "But you're not alone now, right?" Daryl blinked at him and Glenn lifted a brow as he continued. "And you love her," Daryl's eyes snapped open wide for a second before he hit Glenn with a glare. Glenn lifted his hands and backpedaled a bit raising his hands and waving off that last part. "Sorry, didn't mean to cross a line, I just figured- forget I said it."
Daryl turned from the kid and stalked over to the next tree with a marker on it. Stopping and crouching down Daryl looked to the underbrush for any sort of actual trail. But while his eyes were working the ground, his mind was circling around on that last little bit that the kid had spouted off. Love her. Shit, is that what that fuckin' unsettled feeling was. Really? Daryl bit at his thumbnail and then shook his head before sighing.
"No I ain't alone," Daryl said quietly, and he heard Glenn's shuffling feet as the kid turned to face him. Daryl pushed to his feet. "You ain't either. But that ain't here nor there with what your spoutin' off right now. So," Daryl took a breath and faced the kid. "I ain't alone. But now I have this thing in the pit of my stomach that's constantly unsettled. It's heavy and weighs me down at a time when I need to be light on my feet if I want to survive." Daryl stared hard at Glenn watching a myriad of emotions and a good bit of confusion fly over his features. "It's a choice kid. You got to figure out what you want outta this life we're leadin' now, and what you need outta it."
There was a heavy beat of silence where they simply stared at each other. Finally Daryl broke off the eye contact and ran his hand through his hair, angling his eyes back towards the way they came. He started walking towards Glenn, working to take them back to the house and just as he passed the kid by he heard a very quiet question.
"So, which was Callie?" Glenn asked, knowing he probably shouldn't. And when Daryl kept walking seemingly ignoring him, he sighed and trudged along after him. Glenn was shocked when Daryl slowed his steps and allowed him to fall into line at his side, and even more shocked when the man slid his gaze to the corner of his eye and stared hard into Glenn's eyes.
"Both," Daryl said simply, and Glenn firmed his lips and gave a single nod. The rain settled into a steady fall, more than a drizzle but not quite the downpour from before and Daryl shook his head. "C'mon, let's get back. This shit ain't gonna let up. We got a trail now," Daryl said smirking at Glenn. "Figure we take a look at that map of yours when we get back. See what sort of terrain we're dealin' with. Maybe I can bring a horse up tomorrow and knock this shit out in one trip."
"Alone?" Glenn asked taken aback a bit by the idea of it.
"Yeah, I work faster alone," Daryl said snidely. "Don't have to worry 'bout wasting my breath gabbin' 'bout useless shit on my own." Glenn smirked and nodded his head in a sarcastic kind of way that had Daryl smiling. He slid a sly little grin towards Glenn and elbowed him hard. "Plus, don't you got a date with Calamity Jane tomorrow?"
"It's not a date," Glenn said hurriedly staring at Daryl. Daryl shrugged and rolled his eyes as he chuckled at Glenn's sudden discomfort. "It's not. It's a supply run." He stopped and thought about it, about the way the girl had smiled and blushed just a bit when she asked him to go along with her. "You don't think she thinks it's a date, right? I mean, that'd be a pretty fucked up first date."
"It's a fucked up world, man." Daryl shot back as they continued on. Glenn furrowed his brow a bit more and picked up his pace as he and Daryl worked their way back towards the house where T-Dog and Carol were waiting.
It was getting dark now. The sun, which had mockingly come out pretty much the instant that Daryl and the rest had made it back to the farm hours ago, was beginning to fade into the horizon. The dark yellowed hue of early evening was settling in, shrouding the camp and the farm house in gray-gold shadows.
Daryl posted himself up at the back of the RV, his arms crossed over his chest as stared out towards the road leading out of the farm. He wasn't sure which way they went, but there was only one road leading in. At least only one that he knew of. Daryl's eyes slipped around the farm, his head shakin' as he saw the Hummer sitting in its spot. What fuckin' car had they even taken? Why the fuck hadn't he paid more attention?
Daryl spotted Lori working her way towards them from the house, her thin arms wrapped around her midsection as she worriedly stared at them. Daryl's gaze slipped over the group congregated by the small little fire, all waiting as Carol and Andrea worked on heating up some of the food that Maggie and Patricia had brought out to them earlier.
"Anything?" Lori asked as she came to a stop near where Danny was sitting. Danny shifted and looked up at her, offering wave of his hand in the air in answer. Lori's eyes shifted from him to Daryl, and then up to the top of the RV where Dale and Ben were staring out into the distance.
"I'm sure they're fine," Dale said as he put a hand on top of Ben's head and glanced down at Lori. He shifted his attention to Daryl and then off towards the house. "I wouldn't worry."
"Maybe we should go out and look for them?" Lori said eyein' Daryl in that way that said 'maybe you should go out and look for them'. Daryl scoffed and shook his head at her crossing his arms a bit tighter over his chest.
"Sure," Shane said scratching at his head and glancing up at her. "Let's just add them to the fuckin' list."
"You best shut your mouth, 'fore I shut it for you," Daryl spat turning in his spot to glare at the man sporting a nice little bruise and split lip. Daryl snarled a bit when Shane returned his glare.
"Daryl," Dale's quiet voice sounded above and Daryl glared up at the old man before settling back against the RV.
"That's not helping anything," Lori said angrily as she glared at Shane. The man turned to face her and they exchanged what Daryl took for not so happy glances. Apparently the little talk they'd been havin' earlier when Daryl walked in on them in the little room where Carl was sleepin', as he looked for Rick and Callie, hadn't gone over well. "We can't just sit here." Lori said shifting her attention away from the downturned shakin' head of Shane and out across the group. "We need to find them."
"Hey man," T-Dog said shifting on his lawn chair and putting his elbows to his knees. "I'm all for going out lookin'." He took a breath and looked around. "Anyone know where the fuck they was goin'?"
Everyone was quiet, averting their gazes and staring down at their hands or feet. Danny lifted his eyes and shot Daryl a look, his raised brow tellin' Daryl that he knew 'bout as much as Daryl did. Which was jack shit. They knew who they were goin' with, but fuckin' Callie and Rick didn't even know where they were goin'.
Daryl shook his head and snarled glaring back at the house. His eyes caught off of the figures of the two Greene girls settled at the railing and the imposing form of their father right at the edge of the porch. The distance was too great to tell, but Daryl felt that man's stare on him as palpably as he felt the tension between everyone in his group.
A flash of something off to the side of the house caught his eye and had him slipping away from the RV. Fuckin' back road. He'd managed to take a few steps before his eyes picked up on what the flash of light was.
"Headlights!" Ben's small excited voice shouted out from his perch beside Dale on the RV. Dale put his hand to the kid's head and took the offered binoculars. Daryl shifted his attention from the sight of the old beat up truck to where Dale was staring.
"It's them," Dale said lowering the binoculars and looking at Daryl. The group got to their feet almost as one, all of them rushing towards the newly returned trio, just as Hershel and his daughters worked their way off of the porch.
Callie's body felt like it had been put into a washing machine. Her head was spinning. Her muscles were screaming. Her clothing was drenched in sweat, and rain, and blood and gore. Her eyes were closed, and her head bobbing idly as she worked to keep it together.
Three deep breaths.
Just a little bit longer. Just a little bit longer.
She heard the door of the old truck creak open and felt Rick shift slowly beside her, causing her eyes to slip open. She knew he was feeling every bit of exhaustion that she was, and as he practically threw his tired body out of the truck cab she was literally amazed he didn't just fall to the ground. As it was, he reached the ground pretty smoothly and then turned to face her.
She stared at his mud and gore covered face, the streaks of brown and red mixing oddly and caking into the lines of his face. His hair was matted down with sweat and dirt, and dried in a strange mass of craziness around his head. She stared at him, and he stared back, probably thinking the same thing she was.
They looked fuckin' horrible.
Callie let Rick pull her out of the cab, her body just too tired to really move on her own anymore. As she shifted and worked her feet out towards him, she heard the driver's side door open and listened to the rustle of Jimmy slowly exiting the vehicle. Her eyes slipped over the cab and caught his for an instant before she looked away.
Just as her feet hit the ground, and Rick's arms slid up hers to hold her steady she heard the approach of everyone. Callie took in another three deep breaths, her arms pushing against Rick so that she could stand on her own. He hesitated in letting her go, obviously feeling that her legs were wobbling unsteadily below her weight. She tapped on his chest and pushed past just as the cacophony of voices rang out.
"My God, what happened?" "Are you alright?" "Where have you been?" "Rick?" "Jesus, Jimmy where did you take them?" "Callie?" "Is that blood?" "Rick?"
Callie had taken about four steps away from Rick, his fingers had just slipped off of her arm, when it happened. The combination of all of the voices. The slick humid feel of the air after that long rain from today. The thoughts of what they'd just done. It all came rushing in, and the blood pounded between her ears.
One more faltering step was all she got before she broke. Her legs crumbled and she fell to her hands and knees and heaved. The horrid tension that filled her sore muscles as they protested the tensing of her body and the heaving of her empty fucking stomach caused her to groan painfully between each and every retch. Finally she was left gasping and whimpering and coughing as hands settled at her shoulders.
Warm calloused hands.
"Shit woman," Daryl's voice hovered somewhere around her as her brain settled back into the here and now. Her vision was still spinning a bit as she lifted her eyes to his face. It fuzzed around the edges before his worried glare came into sharp focus. "Fuck. This is you not bein' an idiot?"
"Fuck you, Dixon." Callie muttered pushing against the ground. She felt his hands settle under her arms and easily lift her, and before he could wrap his arms around and lift her off her feet she smacked at him. "I can walk."
"You can't even stand," Daryl spat back. It was at that point that she realized her head had come to rest on his chest and her legs were buckled. The only thing holding her off the ground was his hands painfully gripping into her dirt covered arms.
"Asshole," Callie muttered into his chest and she felt him chuckle despite everything. His chin fell to the top of her head and he let out a breath.
"Sweet talker," he muttered at her hair and she smiled into his neck. She shook her head and felt the tears starting to slide down her cheeks, his hand settling in at the back of her head and tangling so familiarly into her rat's nest of curls. "Did ya find what you were lookin' for?"
The question made Callie's head lift, and her legs stiffen. She pushed against his chest and stared into his piercing blue orbs for a few seconds. Then the world around her came back, the sounds of the worried group asking what had happened. Beth's voice as she worriedly asked after Jimmy. Her eyes slid from his and met Rick's.
Again everything fell to the background as she watched Hershel pull Jimmy away from Beth. Hershel's eyes caught on Callie's and then Rick's as he walked towards them. Callie pulled away from Daryl but his hand remained clasped tight at her arm. She spared him a small smile, patting his hand twice. He growled low in his throat as he let go and watched her step unsteadily up beside Rick. Her hand fell to Rick's arm and Daryl raked his hands through his hair. His eyes slipped over to where Glenn was standing, catching the boy's eye for a single heavy second. Glenn stared back, mouth hanging open a bit, before his eyes slid towards where Maggie was standing.
Rick slid his tired eyes over the group, and then down to Callie as she settled in beside him. Shifting his eyes to Hershel, who was gripping Jimmy's shirtsleeve tightly, keeping the boy at his side, Rick stiffened his spine. No matter how much that boy looked like he wanted to run, Hershel held tight to him waiting for Rick to speak. Rick let out a long tired sigh and looked up at Hershel with a harsh sort of glare riding in his eyes.
"We need to talk."
Our needs getting needier and needier; More lies are told until they're truth
Until the messages are massacred
Old men get all their killing done with youth
Why do the men stray; why do the women pray
Why do the men fight; why do the women sympathize
All these wooden houses; Light themselves on fire in turn
Oh but someday there will be nothing left to burn
Oh someday there will be nothing left to burn
~Why Do The Men Stray/ Gavin DeGraw
AN: Yeah, so I'm betting that a lot of you are all…Why didn't Callie beat the shit out of Jimmy? Well, I don't think I'm gonna answer that for you. I think if y'all just wait, you may come to understand it. 'Cause if you think I'm done with the Jimmy aspect of the story…you're crazier than me.
Now, I hope y'all caught the little clue as to where we're heading with the next coming chapters (yes, chapters) CHUPACABRA BABY. I know y'all are looking forward to it…I can FEEL it.
Oh...and so you know, once I actually make a decision on if I'm going to split this up...the title of this installment may change. Not sure if that screws up your alerts..(if any of you know let me know in a PM or review...cause I may not do it if it's gonna screw y'all up on something) .so just beware. :)
Alright, see ya next chapter!