New Meanings to Old Words: Love
Alright, so we're picking up in this chapter in that same lovely morning as last chapter. We're gonna check in with Danny and get a clue as to his odd behavior that had Rick all shades of interested. A good bit of filler with an little Oooomf at the end. All the while, new relationships are forged, a few are begin to unravel, and one man's 'bout to start a journey he never wanted to take.
Should be some interesting shit, huh?
As always read, review and most of all just sit back and enjoy the ride!
~michelle
Disclaimer: I own nothing, except Callie and the crew of misfits (Danny, Miles, Jenna, Mike, Nina, Ben and Gracie).
Steady As She Goes
Danny watched as Daryl pushed and shoved at Miles, moving them swiftly towards the stables. A small smile worked its way onto his lips at the sight, but a bucket of ice cold water was tossed onto any vestiges of that warm feeling the second his eyes drifted down towards his feet. And the man he'd been watching quietly since he'd gotten his broken ass up to the top of the RV.
Shane had pushed to his feet now, his hands wiping along his thighs and then his backside dislodging some fuckin' imaginary dirt. The former deputy's eyes were still fixed on the stable, more specifically on Miles as the kid disappeared inside with Daryl at his back. And from his position above Shane, Danny felt the almost overwhelming urge to spit right down on the fuckers newly shaved head.
He was workin' the spit in his mouth, eyeing that head and its little baby scratch on top. Perfect spot.
Shane was dusting his hands off his apparently perpetually fuckin' dirty hands now, slapping them together almost angrily as his eyes finally slid away from that stable. His shaved head turned to the left, and Danny watched his shoulders hitch up slightly as he caught sight of his next target.
Lori was working with Carol, both of the women hanging up the wet clothes they'd washed earlier.
Fuck. Earlier.
Danny spat off the edge of the RV at the spot that Shane stood before, and rubbed his hand down his face and scratched at his bearded cheeks. It was only like eight in the morning now. Danny didn't want to think that there had been an 'earlier'.
But there had.
No one on this farm had fuckin' slept. Well, no one except the completely exhausted duo that had finally conked out on the couch in the Greene's living room. Both still clothed, and lookin' all shades of cute snuggled up on the couch. Fuck, that whole scene had been so ridiculously adorable that he wished he'd been able to capture on film.
Daryl, who he'd relieved from 'Miles watch' after hearing that Callie and Rick were done 'talkin' to Hershel-Fuck, Danny rubbed at his temple slightly. That was a whole different headache brewing behind his eyes.- Daryl, that tough sum'bitch was asleep, or rather 'fuckin' restin' his eyes for a minute' in the chair next to the couch. His long legs were stretched out in front of him; his body slumped down low in the chair so that his head was settled in a painful way against the back of the horribly upholstered chair, his chin pressed down into his chest. The man's dirty bare arms had been crossed over his chest, hands dug in under his armpits for heat, while his dirty boots were settled under the coffee table in front of him. The way he had been sitting, Danny knew the man probably wanted to have those feet propped up on that nice table right in front of him. But respect for another man's belongings apparently outweighed Daryl's need for comfort. As it was, he left a good smudge of mud and grime on the carpet under the table with those fuckin' boots of his, so Danny figured Daryl's respect only went so far.
Danny chuckled thinking about the snort and wild-eyes that had met him when he flicked the side of Daryl's head to wake him up. The heated glare and half-hearted shove that Danny had got when Daryl pushed to his feet. There had been a silent conversation between them when their eyes met, before they both bent to the task of removin' Callie's boots from her feet. They settled her legs up on the couch beside her and resituated the blanket around both her and Rick when they tipped to the side.
Neither of the two sleepin' beauties even fuckin' twitched when Rick fell hard against that couch's stiff arm, and both Danny and Daryl had shaken their heads in wonder.
Daryl had slung Callie's boots over his shoulder and given Danny a look when he mentioned possibly moving Callie back to their tent. A valiant effort on his part to save her the sore neck and back she was no doubt gonna have from the awkward sleeping position.
"Let her deal with it," Daryl spat back, his eyes softer than his words when he'd looked down at the top of Callie's sleeping head from the other side of the couch. "The pain in my ass and headache she's been givin' me lately, girl fuckin' deserves it." Danny had chuckled as he waved a hand dismissively at the man, knowing full well that Daryl would save Callie from any pain he could if given even half the chance. Daryl had grunted and eyed Danny with a half-snarling glare before giving a single nod and leaving.
Danny remembered staring at the spot that the redneck had stood in for a long moment. A fleeting sense of happiness filtering through him at knowing that no matter what happened, Daryl would be there for Callie.
And then Danny had fallen into the chair that Daryl had vacated, and bein' the fuck that he was, he slammed the dirty Converse sneaker on his bum left leg up on top of that pretty little coffee table. He then proceeded to have a starin' match with that table.
That fuckin' table.
The same one he'd spotted Shane sitting on, just starin' at Callie and Rick while they slept. Danny had kept back, watching Shane put the blankets on Rick and Callie. Watching his eyes narrow just a bit and his hands stay settled on that blanket at Rick's neck for a bit longer than Danny was really comfortable with.
He'd watched Shane sit there for what felt like hours, staring at Rick and Callie. Staring at them with that same craziness hiding just at the edges of those dark eyes. That same bit of edge that had been brewin' in those eyes since Rick had sauntered back into the world of the living and dashed the idyllic world he'd created for himself with Lori and Carl at the Quarry. That same bit of edge that he'd been starin' at Callie with since she first started settling into place as Rick's obvious right hand.
That same bit of edge he'd been starin' after Miles with since they got back from that FEMA station.
Which brought Danny full circle, and had his eyes sliding from his shoes at the edge of the RV to follow Shane's form as he now walked away from Lori and Carol and off towards his jeep. Shaking his head and raking his fingers through his hair, Danny shifted his gaze back down to the ground. A tiny bit of vertigo mixed with his own exhaustion causing the ground to seemingly shoot up towards him rapidly and then descend at an equally maddening pace.
"You're not thinking of jumping are you?" Dale's voice woke Danny from his battle with the strangely moving ground and had his eyes sliding over to the older man. Dale gave a half-hearted smile that couldn't overshadow the worry that was etched into his face as he lifted a single inquiring brow at him.
Before Danny could utter a response a voice sounded from below.
"No Danny," T-Dog's deadpan voice echoed up, the two words said slowly as he passed directly below Danny. The inflection and tone instantly bringing a smile back onto Danny's lips as he watched the man walk under him. "Don't jump. Please don't." T-Dog continued with his comedic styling by rolling his eyes heavenward and workin' that deadpan voice of his to no end. "What would we do without you?"
"Fuck you T," Danny said as the black man chuckled and looked up as he made his way towards the breakfast area they had set up. Danny pointed a finger at the retreating man's back, earning a chuckle in response. "Should jump down right on your ass. Teach you a lesson."
Danny shook his head and smiled at the bark of laughter that T-Dog let out, but his euphoria died down quickly. His eyes slid towards the back of the house. A figure, a tall and lean silhouette against the backdrop of the forest beyond slipped into view. Danny's eyes narrowed a bit, as he watched that figure, that figure that had to be Jimmy because there just wasn't anyone else it could have been. Danny's foot slid a bit on the RV, but his movement stopped as Dale came up and put a hand to his shoulder. Danny shifted his eyes over his shoulder.
"You alright, Danny?" Dale asked eyeing him in that way that Dale did. That way that Danny both hated and loved at the same time. Danny began to nod and Dale just shook his head, his eyes shooting over to where Shane was standing. "You want to share anything?"
"Nah," Danny said waving a hand. "Honestly, it's just been a long fuckin' couple of days, Dale." Dale nodded and watched Danny slowly and painfully limp towards the ladder. Danny slid his gaze down the length of it and was met with the raised brow of Andrea staring up at him from the bottom as she exited the RV. "Hey there," Danny said with a smile that wasn't returned.
"You're not seriously going to jump are you?" Andrea shot back at him, that perfectly shaped thin brow of hers raising at him a bit further.
"Y'all think I'm an idiot, don't ya?" Danny shot back snidely shaking his head at the woman as she walked off. And it irked Danny more than he felt comfortable with that the woman was walkin' towards where Shane was stalking about at his Jeep.
Irked him because he'd seen her trailin' after the fucker with her eyes. Having odd secretive conversations with him. Conversations he'd half heard, about leaving, about splitting from the group. Conversations that he was utterly and completely pissed at her for having at all, let alone with Shane of all people.
Irked him because since they'd arrived at the farm, the woman hadn't even so much as looked at him let alone had a fuckin' conversation with him.
Irked him because it had hit him like a ton of bricks when he finally figured out that whatever had happened between them in the RV hadn't meant a damn thing to her. Irked him because he'd been hoping-.
Irked him that even though she was makin' it damn clear that she wasn't his problem, he couldn't seem to help but feel like she was.
"If the shoe fits," Andrea said waving a hand over her shoulder as she walked away.
Danny slipped down to his butt as fast as he could and let out a loud string of curses as he slipped over the edge and put his good right leg to the furthest rung he could reach. He could hear Dale hissing in empathy for him and telling him to slow down and take it easy, but the words just weren't registering. The stitches in Danny's side pulled and that made him almost yell the word "Hey!"at her. His foot slipped off the rung and down to another and he groaned closing his eyes just as Andrea turned.
Andrea stood glaring at him, her eyes shifting about obviously rankled that his little outburst had garnered a bit more attention to them than she would like. Honestly, fuck what she liked at this point. He shook his head as she took one step closer, watching him as he made his quick and painful way down the ladder. He came down hard on his right leg at the end of the ladder, and heard Dale above him asking if he was alright. Danny waved off Dale's concern and lifted his eyes and a finger at the still staring blonde not far off.
"I want to talk to you," Danny said limping forward towards her.
"Where's your crutch?" Andrea said ignoring him and looking around. She spotted the infernal thing settled against the RV and grabbed for it just as he got close enough to touch her arm. She slipped from his fingers and instead replaced her arm with the fuckin' aluminum stick that he was beginning to hate. He glared at her as she lifted a brow. "Use it, before you fall on your face."
"Gee, mom, thanks for the vote of confidence," Danny snapped back shaking his head. "I can't keep depending on this fuckin' thing." He lifted it and shook it at her once before tossing it aside. He grimaced at the look on her face and ran a hand down his face. "What the hell is this Andrea?"
"What?" Andrea said shrugging and turning away. Danny moved forward, pushing past the pain, and grabbed on to her arm. Pulling her around the RV, out of the view of the rest of the group that had taken a very obvious interest in the conversation playing out between them. He tipped his eyes up to Dale who raised both hands and moved towards the other end of the RV giving Danny a bit of privacy that he didn't even have to ask for.
Danny settled Andrea against the RV and she smacked hard at his hand until he let go. She moved to go past him and he stepped into her path. She glared and he raised a brow.
"Don't," Danny said raising a finger at her. "You know I don't have any qualms 'bout makin' an ass outta myself followin' you wherever the fuck you're tryin' to go, Andrea. And you know I ain't about to let this slide," Danny lowered his hand and settled it to his hip, his eyes settled on Andrea's scowling face. "So just don't."
Andrea let out a huff of a breath and tossed her hair around, her head shifting so that she was glaring towards the line of cars. But Danny could see the figure in the distance that she was pretending not to be looking at. He stared at her for a long time, apparently the heat of it finally getting the better of her. She swung an annoyed glance back at him. They stared at each other for a few seconds before Danny finally broke down.
"Are you alright?" Danny asked quietly, the question apparently taking the blonde lawyer off guard. Confusion marred her brow for a moment, and Danny couldn't help but smile. She opened her mouth in an effort to speak but then snapped it shut again. She was at a loss for words, and he found himself shaking his head. "Look, Jenna's hitting us all hard," Danny started and Andrea was immediately shaking her head and trying to push past him hard. "Fuck woman!"
Her hands were on his chest pushing him and he was grabbing at her wrists to get her to stop. He tried to slip his eyes to hers a million times; tried to catch her gaze as she shook her head angrily at him. She'd reached a point of anger with this whole thing, a point he well understood. But unlike Andrea, Danny knew how to talk about what he was feelin' without letting that anger fester.
He didn't do it well, and could only do it with a few select people. None of which were Andrea, a fact that had surprised him more than he wanted to admit last night. Glenn and Dale had sat with him for a good while last night after Callie and Rick got back just listening to him work through his pain. Listening and offering a silent sort of support that he could always count on from them, until he got to the point where he could breathe again without that pain piercing his entire body.
But Andrea, she didn't talk. She held it in. Let it consume her. Let it change her. Let it build and build deep inside of her, thinking she was doing herself a favor by trying to bury it.
"Don't," Andrea said pushing hard at him again. When he didn't let go of her wrists she just began hitting him. "Don't. Let me go, Danny."
"You need to talk to someone," Danny said pulling harshly at her arms and then pushing her back against the RV. "You need to. You never talked to anyone about Amy, and now with Jenna-" he let out a long sigh and stared into her eyes moving closer and pulling her towards him. "You need to talk to someone."
"Like you do?" Andrea spat back angrily. "Like you talk to people? Huh?" Andrea pushed at him and he felt his eyes going wide. "You lost your wife. Ex or not, you shot her dead." Danny flinched back and dropped her hands, the words hitting him like a slap to the face. "Your son's still out there somewhere, probably dead. And you just lost another kid to all this," Andrea waved her hand around and Danny stepped back, his jaw clenching tight against everything she was saying.
Andrea stared at Danny, her hard blue eyes shining with unshed tears. It was obvious that she realized she stepped over a line, but she was too damned stubborn to ever admit it. And honestly Danny was too damn good at gettin' over shit at this point to let her pull him down.
"Just 'cause I don't talk to you, honey, doesn't mean I haven't talked to others 'bout it." Danny shot back, letting his tone roll into her like the bulldozer he knew it was. He saw her recoil just a bit, and didn't feel bad when she took in a slow shuddering breath. "Ask Dale and Rick 'bout our time buryin' Leslie. Ask Callie 'bout it. Ask her, Daryl, Dale or Rick 'bout Jake," He shook a finger at her and let the disgust ride on his face as he sneered at her. "That was a low blow, by the way. Real fuckin' low." She tilted her head and looked cowed for a moment but maintained that stubborn tilt to her chin as he shook his head. "Ask Glenn 'bout Jenna. Go ahead." He waved his hand around.
Danny stared hard at Andrea, watching her heavy rapid breathing start to settle. Watched as the world apparently crashed down around the both of them. Danny closed his eyes and stepped forward again, his hand lifting and pressing into her cheek, because he just couldn't fuckin' help himself. She flinched back, but he shook his head and held firm.
"I'm not askin' you to talk to me," Danny said quietly watching her blue eyes slide over his. Honestly amazed at just how far they'd fallen from one another in so short a time.
"I've talked to someone," Andrea said quietly and Danny felt the snarl lift his lips. His head was shaking as he stepped back away from her, finally letting her go.
"Yeah, but y'all ain't talkin' 'bout what you should be, are ya?" Danny muttered his head still shaking as she stared at him. The confusion marring her face was slowly becoming over run by her anger and Danny let out a stilted sort of laugh. Raking his hands through his hair he shook his head. "The fuck is wrong with me? You got this shit all figured out right. I made you leave the CDC. Made it so you had to suffer this, right? Comeuppance," Danny tossed his hands up in the air and Andrea clenched her jaw.
"Hey," Shane's voice cut through Danny's brain and had him letting out a bit of a stilted laugh. Andrea's eyes shifted over Danny's shoulder towards Shane. Danny shook his head a bit before turning around, catching Shane's quietly assessing eyes shift between them. "You two good?"
"Peachy, officer," Danny said shifting away and looking at Andrea quickly. He lifted a brow at her and extended an arm for her. "Your chariot," Danny muttered to her before starting to limp around the RV and head towards the breakfast area.
He stopped short at the sight of Carol standing in his way, her kind eyes shifting over his and a small smile tipping her lips. His eyes lifted to see Lori heading his way and he shook his head at the feel of Dale's eyes on him from above. Apparently his private conversation hadn't been fuckin' private at all.
"We're headin' to the highway," Shane's voice cut into Danny's retreat and had him turning towards the man. Shane's smilin' eyes caught his and Danny glared at him. "Me, Carol and Andrea," he said clarifying as if Danny really gave two shits at this point.
"We're going to check the supplies," Andrea cut in, her eyes settling on Danny's in an almost apologetic manner. "Check to see if Sophia maybe doubled-back found her way there." Danny nodded slipping a hand up to Carol's shoulder and giving her a reassuring smile.
"You should come," Shane said quietly. An amused tone to his voice as he kicked at the ground trying to look sheepish but not really foolin' anyone. Danny shifted his eyes to Shane and stared hard at him. "You know," Shane continued. "Give that leg of yours some exercise. Get you back into fightin' shape. Gonna need to get there sooner or later, huh?" Danny smiled back at Shane and shook his head a few times, his eyes slipping to Andrea for a brief minute and holding. She looked angry and lost and just ready to bolt, and he was honestly gettin' a bit tired of tryin' so damn hard to stop her. Shane nodded his head and shifted his gaze back to Andrea and then Carol. "Well, let's go ladies," Shane said on a sigh letting his eyes slip off of Danny as he turned away. "Day light's wastin'."
"We won't be too long," Carol said to Danny and the newly arrived Lori at his back. "I just need to be sure," Carol said quietly and Danny nodded at her, shooing her away.
"Be careful," Danny said to Carol and Carol nodded before following behind the now retreating forms of Andrea and Shane. Danny watched them go, his hand lifting slowly to rub at the bridge of his nose.
"Everything, alright?" Lori asked from his back and Danny shifted to her, his eyes wide.
"Fuck no, Lori," Danny said almost as exhausted with hearing that question as he was with this fuckin' world at large. His eyes slipped past her to their little breakfast area and he started to trudge along towards it. He felt Lori at his back and he let out a breath, wishing he hadn't let Callie be such a good fuckin' influence on him. Because all he wanted to do right now was rail out at someone or something and be alone with his anger. His embarrassment at obviously reading a situation so fuckin' wrong.
But instead, as soon as they were out of earshot of the RV he turned to face Lori and let out a long sigh. "You okay?" he asked, causing Lori's eyes to lift to him in a bit of confusion. He stepped closer and caught her gaze. Knowing that his pain and problems were pretty much a couple pebbles compared to her mountains right now."You feelin' okay?"
Lori's eyes widened, and he just stared at her for a minute, waiting for his words to settle over her. Then her breath left her in an almost painful rush and she was shaking her head a bit, before she was nodding. Her hands rested on her slim hips and Danny slipped his gaze back towards the house. The figures of Rick and Callie easily disenable on the porch.
"I took your advice," Lori said quietly, her head bobbing closer to his. "Glenn's going to look for one in town." Danny nodded and put a hand to her arm, offering as much comfort as he could without drawing attention to them. "I just can't take that madman's word for it, Danny. If I'm going to tell him I need-"
"I know," Danny said squeezing Lori's arm and giving her a smile. "I know. No matter what, it's gonna be okay, Lori. No matter what," Danny squeezed again and she let out a huff of a breath. Danny's eyes slipped up from her and towards the house, but instead of catching on Rick and Callie he again spotted that lean silhouette against the backdrop of the forest.
Again Danny's eyes narrowed, his hand falling from Lori's arm. She was saying something to him, something about Jenna, and her being so sorry and he felt his head nodding. But he wasn't really paying her any mind. Jimmy was walking near that barn, the one out building that no one had gone near. Respect for a man's land and his boundaries keeping them to their specified area. Danny shifted a bit, his eyes watching the figure of the boy as he disappeared into the forest area beyond.
"Danny?" Lori's voice caught his attention and had him slipping his gaze to her. She stared at him with unabashed worry and he tilted his head. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah," Danny said shaking his head and lifting his hand to squeeze Lori's thin arm. He shot her a grin and hooked his arm in hers. "I'm fine," he pulled her along with him, using her to keep him from losing his footing. "Let's get you something to eat, huh? Gotta eat, woman." He pulled her along and whispered at her. "Pregnant or not."
Lori nodded her head idly, her eyes slipping towards the house. Danny's gaze flitted back to that barn, and the spot in the forest where Jimmy had disappeared. His fuckin' spidey-sense was tingling, but he knew that in his half-healed state he wasn't gonna be able to find where that boy went. Danny felt himself snarling at the thought, knowing that he wasn't going to rest a second until he knew where the fuck that boy had gone this time.
"I'm a bit of a loner," Glenn heard himself saying and instantly his eyes widened before his brow furrowed. What the hell was he talking about now? Luckily Maggie was doing her best to just ignore his presence, because for the last twenty or so minutes that they'd been riding he'd been doing a bang up job of sounding like an utter and complete douche bag.
He could almost hear Danny in his ear.
"Way to get on the girl's good side there, G-man. Lyin' through your teeth. Sure fire way to a lastin' fuckin' relationship man."
The words in his head were even followed by a huge grin from the man and two sarcastic thumbs way up. Glenn groaned a bit and rolled his eyes heavenward for a moment.
"Ya don't really strike me as the loner type," Maggie shot back, causing his eyes to immediately shoot back from the sky where he'd been working to use the sun to possibly fry his brain the rest of the way. Glenn's gaze slipped to her face, his eyes blinked a few times to try and get rid of the large white spec of light that had taken up residence over her face in his field of vision.
"Well," Glenn stuttered out his shoulders lifting just a bit as he readjusted his grip on the reigns of the horse. He looked down at the horse for a second, marveling yet again at the fact that his city-boy ass was settled on top of the hulking beast, and then looked up to Maggie's expectant eyes. "I'm not really a loner," he furrowed his brow and shifted in the saddle again. "I mean I'm alone. In as much as I don't have any family or anything here. And lonely, I guess-"
"You're a bit on the gabby-side for a loner," Maggie said lifting a brow at him and he let out a sigh and felt his shoulders sag just a bit. She smirked a bit at him and he worked a hand behind his head knocking his ball cap a bit askew.
She had a point there. He was a talker. But only when he was really nervous. Which for some reason he was when he found himself alone with Maggie. He' been talking pretty much since they'd left the farm, and only now was he realizing that he probably sounded like a complete idiot.
"Loner was probably the wrong word," Glenn said in return, his eyes catching her humored ones. He felt the blush rise in his cheeks and he looked away. "I'm more of the 'go to guy' for things." She let out a bit of a huff that he suspected was a laugh and he shook his head at her. "No really. When they need something done, need someone to go to town. Fly into Walker country and come out sparkling clean. I'm their man. Just like that Walker in the well-"
And just like that Glenn's mouth snapped shut, his eyes catching the instant stiffening of Maggie's shoulders as the words tumbled out of his mouth. Suddenly a vision of Danny, his two thumbs up and a big ass grin on his face as he mouthed the words 'smooth G-man' at him worked its way into his brain. Glenn found himself instantly wishing hateful things on the man, but shook them off as memories of that Walker in the well assaulted him.
The image of Danny, dangling the upper half of his body down the well in an effort to steady the rope and pull Glenn away from the reaching hands of that bloated geek. The worried expression that had flown on to the man's face as he used whatever strength he had to pull at that rope with T-Dog and the rest. The pain that had marred Danny's face when he struggled to get to his feet and away from the well. The blood that had soaked through his shirt at the site of the wound on his midsection that had been torn open when he slipped over the edge of that well.
Danny may have been a jackass, but he was still his friend. No matter what, Glenn could always trust Danny to have his back. So that image of Danny mouthing the words 'smooth G-man' when Maggie had stormed away from that well, while taunting and annoying was a memory that was probably very fitting for this particular moment.
Glenn had seen the way Maggie reacted to T-Dog smashing that Walker's head in. Watched her eyes take on this shock that Glenn just didn't think was possible for someone to have anymore. Not after how long they'd been living in this horror-movie come to life. But he'd seen it, watched the color drain from her face, and then watched as she looked at him like he'd just assisted in some heinous crime.
Glenn hadn't really known what to think of the girl's reaction. And honestly, he'd kind of figured she was going to just forget about taking him with her into town. Which she had tried to pull, but he'd pressed that it was safer for them to go together.
Which was completely true, in a way. Safety in numbers and all. But truthfully, he figured that the girl was well equipped in handling herself on a run. A fact that she'd thrown back into his face when he'd approached her after the whole well-Walker incident. And he knew, from very good experience, that having a tag-along, especially someone who didn't know the lay of the land, could get you killed.
He'd been about to let her go on her own. Really, he had. He'd been shuffling on his feet under her glare, and had been about to back away. But then he'd looked up at her, actually met those heated eyes of hers and saw something behind that glare. Something he really hadn't been expecting.
Fear.
She was scared. Whether it was from the close call they'd just had, or something else he didn't know. But Glenn knew what fear looked like. Knew it like the back of his hand. She was scared. And that sort of thing got you killed pretty quickly too if you let it. So at that point Glenn had awkwardly mounted the horse she'd originally saddled for him, and gave her a shrug.
"My group needs me to pick up some things," Glenn had said when she raised a brow at him. "And it doesn't really make sense for us to be going to the same place and not traveling together. So…"
"What if I don't want you to come?" Maggie said back to him. Her lips twitched a bit as he struggled to keep the horse under control and he shot her a look.
"Guess you're gonna have to make me stay then," Glenn said in a matter-of-fact tone. And honestly, he kinda wished Danny had been there to hear him say it. Maggie's reaction and all. God, especially Maggie's reaction. She stared at him for a long minute, a slight tinge of pink staining her cheeks before she nodded her head once and expertly maneuvered her horse off into a trot.
Glenn had felt really good about himself in that moment. His chin was lifted, his shoulders square and he was just sitting there nodding to himself a bit as he watched her trot off. Then he'd tried to get the horse to move and follow her and his confidence had dwindled a bit when the thing just stayed where it was eating grass like he wasn't even on top of it. Maggie had shot a look over her shoulder and his eyes had snapped up to her as she trotted back towards him. She grabbed up his reigns in her hands and gave a clicking sound with her mouth that just magically made the damn horse move.
Glenn looked over his shoulder at that point, and spotted Danny settled on the top of the RV lifting a damn thumb up at him. Glenn had muttered and grabbed the reigns from the still slightly chuckling Maggie and ducked his head.
Of course the son of a bitch had to see that.
Glenn narrowed his eyes at the road before him now, wondering at how many times in one day he'd wished death upon his best friend. Chuckling a bit, he supposed that was just the nature of friendship. Love 'em so much you can hate 'em, as Danny would say.
Shifting his eyes to Maggie's figure slightly ahead of him he frowned at the hunch to her shoulders. He hadn't known her long, a few days really, but it didn't take long to see that she was a confident girl. Woman? Young lady? Glenn shook his head, and stared at her. She was confident, much more so than he ever was. But something was weighing down on her right now.
Something was making her afraid. Something was drawing her into herself. And he felt, this nagging sensation in the pit of his stomach as he watched her try—and fail—to hide it from him. A nagging sensation he couldn't really explain.
But whatever it was, it was settled strange in the pit of his stomach and making him shift awkwardly on his saddle as they worked into town. He didn't like seeing her look so, what was the word he was looking for? Lost? Afraid? Alone?
All of the above maybe.
Glenn shifted a bit and worked to get his horse up to where she was, his eyes angling over to her as she shifted a raised brow in his direction.
"I'm sorry," Glenn said quietly which caused her head to perk up all the way and her eyes to widen as she stared at him. "I didn't mean to-" he stopped again, not really knowing exactly what he wanted to say. "I saw the way you reacted back there. At the well. When T smashed—"
"I don't wanna talk about that," Maggie said in a quiet and firm tone that reminded Glenn a lot of her father's. At least what he'd heard of it. She turned away and Glenn blinked at the side of her face a few times.
"Look," Glenn said, continuing despite the image of Danny waving his hands around wildly telling him to stop. He shook his head against it and trotted up beside her again, working his head this way and that in an effort to try and get her eyes on him again. "I'm sorry," he said, those two words apparently working some kind of magic and getting her head to shift to him. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry. The way we went about that, it was a bit," he grimaced and gave a sheepish smile at her raised brow. "I guess we've grown so accustomed to taking them out that we forget that it can be a bit horrifying to someone who hasn't seen it." Glenn paused and ran his hand through his hair. "You guys haven't really seen much of this stuff, huh? Amazing, I wouldn't have thought it possible. A place so untouched by it all. Seems kind of like a mirage in the desert. Must be nice." He took another breath and squinted in the sun at her back. "You know, being on the road. We've seen a lot. Guess we've gotten a little numb to it."
"Well," Maggie said quietly, shocking Glenn a bit that she'd spoken. "I guess so." She shifted slightly to look over her shoulder at him and he simply stared at her. She shook her head and shifted her gaze back to the road.
"Okay," Glenn muttered to himself. He moved his gaze forward and stared at the road and the town as it came into view.
The image of Danny with his heels kicked up on the edge of the well now, arms propping him up as he just smiled back at Glenn. The word 'smooth' repeating on an infinite loop in that damned chuckling voice of the man's.
They made the rest of the journey in silence, nothing but a slight breeze and the sound of the horse's hooves as they hit the asphalt echoing in Glenn's ears. The town was eerily quiet, and Glenn's instincts immediately had him on edge. He felt the heat of the gun that Callie had shoved at him before he left like a slow burning tingle that ran up his spine and into the back of his neck. Those needle-like piercings of awareness had his eyes shifting around him as they came to a stop in front of a small pharmacy.
Maggie shifted her eyes over her shoulder at Glenn, sniffing back some kind of remark that was tipping her lips up ever so slightly. She then dismounted, tossing her saddle bags over her shoulder and Glenn quickly followed suit, his feet hitting the ground and his hand automatically sliding to the gun at the small of his back. He shifted his eyes around the deserted street one more time as he settled his empty backpack on his shoulder before stepping up onto the sidewalk in front of the store.
Maggie slipped her eyes over to him, a haughty sort of tilt to her brow, and he looked past her at what she'd been staring at. His own reflection caught in the window just over the sign in the window, and his hand slipped from the gun at his back. Big bold letters, hastily written on a piece of cardboard stared back, kind of laughing at him.
'Take what you need and God bless.'
"It ain't a mirage in the desert," Maggie said quietly causing his eyes to shift up to her as she put her hand to the door. "It's called human decency. And it's kinda sad if y'all are numb to that."
They stared at each other for a few seconds before Maggie just shook her head at him and pushed through the doors into the pharmacy. Glenn puffed out a long sigh and adjusted his baseball cap on his head. Shaking his head at the sign and at his own reflection in that glass he slid over and followed her into the pharmacy.
"I'm gonna look through the antibiotics," Maggie said as she stopped and looked back at him. "What else is on the list?" Glenn flipped through his pocket and pulled out the large sheet of paper that Lori had handed him. Maggie grabbed for it and shifted a look at him, one that said he looked just a shade useless to her right now. "A'right. What are you gonna do?"
"Uh," Glenn squinted at her and shook his head a bit. She smirked and he opened his mouth finally finding his voice. "I'm just going to look around, you know. Scavenge. See if there's anything else we might be able to use."
Maggie nodded at him a couple of times, a look on her face that said she was anything but impressed with his response. He sighed as she turned and left him to his own stupidity. Shaking his head Glenn pulled out the smaller bit of paper that Lori had handed him, the one with the special item on it. The special item that she didn't feel the need to explain to him, but was hell bent for him to risk his life to find.
True Blue.
What the hell was that? And seriously, in the feminine hygiene aisle?
'C'mon, G-man,' Danny's voice rang out in his head suddenly, a chuckle rolling on it. 'You're our go to guy right. Go to it.'
"Bastard," Glenn muttered to himself as he worked around the end cap of one of the aisles and stared at the items. Feminine hygiene products. Glenn worked his way down to his knees and started rifling through the packages, searching for the mysterious product that Lori apparently needed but couldn't say why. Just as Glenn was about to give up, he spotted a blue package, and with a bit of joy he grabbed for it.
True Blue.
Pregnancy Test.
"Oh fuck," Glenn mumbled staring at the words like they were going to jump off the box and bite him. "No way," Glenn shook his head and let his thumb slip over the words. His eyes searched around him. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe he read it wrong. He pulled the note out and read it again, his eyes slipping back to the box in his hand. Nope. Nope, he read that right. "Jeeze."
"You find anything?" Maggie's voice startled him and he dashed the box into his backpack before she could see him with it. Glenn slipped his around randomly at the boxes at his feet and grabbed one before getting quickly to his feet.
"You know, just general stuff," Glenn said, finally slipping his eyes down to the box he held. 'Oh fuck,' Glenn's inner voice rang out, his eyes widening as the sound of Danny's belly-laughing came crashing down through the blood pounding through his embarrassed body. "Uh…"
"Condoms," Maggie said a bit of an incredulous tilt to her brow. He looked up and honestly couldn't keep his eyes on her for long without feeling the blood pounding through his face. Red. His face had to be beet red by now. "Wow," Maggie said shifting on her feet a bit and piercing him with a look. One that he never had any hope of being able to decipher. "You got a girlfriend I don't know about?"
"No," Glenn said immediately then his mouth began sputtering something. "No. I just-I don't-" he lifted the box at her and searched wildly for some kind of way out of this. So far his 'date' as Daryl had called it, was turning into just as much of a disaster as any of the others he'd ever been on.
But at least pre-apocalypse he hadn't showed a girl he barely knew an entire box of condoms, claiming they'd be useful. Oh man.
"You must be a pretty confident guy then, huh?" Maggie said and again Glenn's mouth fell open. He wanted to respond, he really did. But he wasn't good at this. He wasn't- he shook his head and just started talking.
"No," Glenn said again and he rolled his eyes at himself as his head shook. 'C'mon G-man', Danny's voice whined at him. "No I would- I would never," he took a breath, and realized that he was waving the condoms around between them like a he was trying to put out a match. He lowered his arms and blinked at her slightly amused and astounded expression. "I would never have sex," Glenn's eyes went wide at the word and he groaned along with imaginary Danny. "Uh, I -I'm lost."
And he was. He was hopelessly lost in the pit of his own rambling mind. His mom had always told him that his mouth would be able to dig holes that his mind would never be able to get out of if he let it. And damn if she wasn't right on the money.
Maggie was staring at him, and he was feeling flustered and embarrassed. And honestly the way she was just staring at him, that tilt to her head and slight parting of her lips, was making him blush even more furiously than he had been before. Honestly, what the hell was this? Some kind of punishment from on-high?
Idly he wondered if perhaps this was all Daryl's doing. His way of getting back at Glenn for all those times he'd interrupted him at inopportune moments. He slid his eyes around, half expecting the redneck to just pop out and shoot him with an arrow through his head as the final act of vengeance.
"I'll have sex with you," Maggie's voice was calm and matter-of-fact and Glenn's eyes slipped to her in a daze. Had she really just said-
"What?" Glenn heard himself asking through the pounding of his blood. Imaginary Danny had looped an arm around his shoulders and was shaking him, smiling like a fuckin' idiot. Glenn shook his head and blinked a few times at the girl standing before him. "Really? Uh," Glenn heard himself stammer. Again. Finally this time he shook his head and just stared at her. "Why?"
"You're askin' questions?" Maggie said raising a brow and shaking her head. "It's not like our options are vast anymore," Maggie said with an air of confidence that just didn't match the look in her eyes. Glenn stared for a moment, taken completely by surprise. There it was again. Fear. And Glenn found himself backpedalling just a bit from her. His head tilting to the side as he regarded her with a look he hoped conveyed the sorrow he felt for making her feel that way. "You're not the only one who's lonely," Maggie said quietly, causing Glenn's eyes to flick back to hers.
He floundered for a moment as she stepped closer, his mind racing just a bit. Her lips touched his in fleeting sort of kiss, tentative and sweet. One that didn't match her attitude at all. There was no confidence in that kiss. There were questions, and worries, and self-consciousness.
Things that Glenn fully understood, and identified with.
She put up a good front, but Glenn saw when she pulled back that she was just as lost as he was. Just as alone. Just as scared that today could be the last day they had in this world they were stuck living in. Suddenly Daryl's words filtered into his mind.
Gotta figure out what you want outta this life, and what you need.
And Glenn tried really hard to pull wisdom and something concrete along those lines out of the haze of his mind. Tried to figure out what it was he wanted. What he needed. What the fucking difference was. But that hole he had dug earlier in his mind was just about caving in around him as other feelings, other thoughts, took precedence.
And then she took her hat off. Then her shirt.
And Glenn's heart was damn near beating out of his chest, as imaginary him pushed ecstatic imaginary Danny out of his mind completely. Her bra came off next, and Daryl's words, those words of wisdom that he'd intentionally sought out just in case this completely unbelievable scenario ever played out in real-life. Those words that he'd had to pull and twist out of the man, like a thorn from a lion's paw, fell away.
Save for one. Want.
And that word repeated over and over in his head, and before he knew it his shirt was off. And all thoughts of anyone else at camp—fathers, sisters, friends- faded into a distant hazy memory as he stepped up to her and pressed his lips to hers.
When you have completed what you thought you had to do,
And your blood's depleted to the point of stable glue
Then you'll get along; Then you'll get along
Steady as she goes (steady as she goes)
Steady as she goes (steady as she goes)
Daryl raked his hand up through his hair and shifted on the saddle. His eyes scanning the trees around him, desperately searching for another of Sophia's markers. But there was nothing.
Absolutely fuckin' nothin'.
They'd gone strong for a good ways, at least two miles maybe three. The girl had been moving fast, but steady, not circlin' just headin' straight towards something. He shifted his eyes over his shoulder. Or away from something. Either way, it didn't fuckin' matter, 'cause the marks just stopped.
Fuckin' stopped right in the middle of the forest.
There wasn't nothin' in sight, nothin' Daryl could see anyway, that woulda worked as any kinda shelter for the girl. No hidin' places, no fuckin' good climbin' trees. At least none that Daryl ever woulda tried climbin', but a little girl scared outta her mind lookin' for some place safe. Yeah, maybe she'd tried to climb. But he'd checked the trees already. Sounded like a damn fool probably too. Callin' up into each and every tree in the area of the last marker, like he was tryin' to coax some damn imaginary cat down. At least fuckin' Glenn or T-Dog weren't around this time to hear that shit.
He'd been embarrassed at himself enough for that one.
"Fuck," Daryl spat out to the side of the horse, his eyes shifting around the area again. He shifted again his eyes skirting off to the side where the large ridge he was riding on led down to a stream area. Turning the horse about, he scanned back along the markers leading towards the little house that Sophia had slept in. Maybe she'd just turned 'round. Maybe there was something back there he'd fuckin' missed.
His horse had trotted maybe a few feet past a few markers back towards the house. His eyes lingering along the ground, looking for anything-something he missed. There had to be somethin' he was fuckin' missing. A twinge in his hip had him pulling the horse to a stop. Shifting on the saddle and raising up slightly in the stirrups he dug his hand into his pocket, his fingers hitting off something sharp that was digging into him.
"The fuck," Daryl muttered to himself as he pulled out the object. His thumb rolled over the raised letters and numbers of Rick's badge before sliding out along its surface and pressing against one dulled point after another.
He'd forgotten he'd put the fuckin' thing in his pocket before he left the tent. Thought he'd just settled weird on the saddle each time the fuckin' thing pricked at his thigh and hip. The sunlight filtering in through the trees from above had the gold glinting a bit and it flashed into his eyes causing him to squint.
"Lucky," Daryl said to the woods around him, his thumb still moving over the badge. The badge that wasn't really a badge anymore. It was a talisman; a way to ward off the evils of this world. An image of Gracie's face flew into Daryl's mind. Her sweet little baby face, blue eyes and bouncing brown curls, and a voice that he barely remembered anymore.
How long had it been since she'd last spoke, really fuckin' spoke? Weeks, maybe a month now? The horrors of this world had taken so much from her. So much, and yet that baby-girl had deemed him fit to carry her talisman. Her bit of safety.
Givin' him her little peace of fuckin' mind while he searched for Sophia. Another face slid into his mind. Hazel eyes, bouncing curls. Coulda been the girl's momma. That woman's face lingered for a moment, dashin' his own peace of mind to the wind and woods around him.
Running his thumb over the badge one more time before closing his fist around it and moving to shove it back into his pocket. The horse whinnied and bobbed around under him and Daryl scrabbled for the reigns, almost losing his hold on the badge in the process. Steadying the horse he shook his head and flicked open the pin on the back of the badge. He shifted slightly and pinned the damn badge to his pants right under his belt, snarling a bit as he did it.
The thing wasn't heavy, not really, but the second he closed that pin it took on this weight that just didn't feel right against him. Daryl shifted his head about angrily on his shoulders before tuggin' his shirt down hard to cover that glintin' bit of gold pinned to his fuckin' pants. Least the fuckin' thing wasn't gonna keep pokin' and prodin' at him every time the horse moved into more of a trot.
No. Now it was just gonna feel like he had a fuckin' lead weight tied to his leg.
Oooh, looky at you brother. Merle's voice echoed in his brain mockingly and he snarled at it.
"Sum'bitch," Daryl wiped his hand down his face and stared off into the woods. "C'mon," he said, absently rubbing his thumb on the damn badge. "Where the fuck is she? Huh? Supposed to be fuckin' lucky, how's 'bout you give me some of that luck now?"
Daryl pulled on the reigns of the horse, shifting the beast 'round so that he was able to see through some of the trees and down into the ravine below. It was a long drop, and he squinted into the sun dappled water below. His eyes scanned it over, working this way and that, something gnawing at his brain as he did it. His eyes slipped back over the water and he squinted a bit as his eyes again picked up on the small dark shape sitting in the water.
Something was down there.
A shuffle of leaves on his other side had him reaching for his crossbow as he turned in the saddle. His eyes shifted over the woods, his heart beating an insane rhythm in his head. He searched and finally snarled when he didn't see a damn thing out there.
"Sophia?" Daryl ventured, hope burstin' through his better sense and makin' him think that maybe, just fuckin' maybe he'd caught a break. "Sophia? You out there?" He shifted in the saddle a bit, and started to turn the horse, when another shuffling of leaves caught his attention.
This time near him, at his feet.
A rattler popped its fuckin' head out, and before Daryl could even think enough to react and steady the horse she was moving. She bucked under him, slipped this way and that, and Daryl knew that if he hadn't of pulled his crossbow at the imaginary fuckin' sounds he'd heard the first time he woulda been able to keep his mount. Woulda been able to pull her back under control.
But no, he'd been a dumbass and because of that he fell from that saddle.
He fell, and in a moment that was more terrifying than anything he'd really been dealt before, he continued to fall. His world tumbled around him in a dizzying frenzy of rocks and branches, leaves and patches of sunlight. His arms shot out, his crossbow being dislodged from his hand as his elbow and arm smashed hard into an outcrop. His body smashed and rolled down that fuckin' high up ridge, his skin catching and tearing open in multiple places. His throat opening up on its own accord letting out a fierce howl of pain that seemed to echo around him in the ravine. And then the icing on the fuckin' cake came as his head smashed hard into what he suspected was a rock or some shit, causing his vision to burst white hot behind his closed eyelids.
His body continued to roll and bounce, pain settling over him in waves as the world shifted and tilted on its axis. Once more, his head slammed onto something, and he felt a pain slice through his side tearing what little breath he had remaining in his lungs from him.
His body hit solid ground again, bouncing like a fuckin' rag doll along the sediment at the edge of that little bit of water. And the last thing he saw before the blackness edging around his vision finally took over completely was that dark shape, that something that had caught his attention before. So sharp in focus he thought idly he must be fuckin' dreamin' as he lay there starin' at it in his slowly receding vision.
Sittin' there in beam of sun sent mockingly down from the Lord above was Sophia's doll; its two blank button eyes starin' right back at him before everything went black.
Well here we go again; You've found yourself a friend that knows you well
But no matter what you do,
You'll always feel as though you tripped and fell
Steady as she goes (steady as she goes)
Settle for a world, neither up or down (settle for a world, neither up or down)
Sell it to the crowd that has gathered round (sell it to the crowd that has gathered round)
Settle for a girl, neither up or down (settle for a girl, neither up or down)
~Steady As She Goes/ The Raconteurs
AN: This whole chapter was like pulling teeth. GAHHHH.
Danny and Andrea-I know there wasn't a lot put into Andrea and Danny's relationship, but I did build in the little things that if you go back you will catch. Andrea following after Shane at the church grounds (talking to him about leaving)… and there were more talks alluded to but unseen (cause good god this would be fuckin' LONG if I added them all in). I hope that wasn't too crazy to take down.
And Glenn and Maggie. Pulling teeth! Those two, I had to go back and fuckin' Netflix that scene to try and get a feel for it. But I got it out, and I figure I need to get this going and moving so we can move the fuck on!
And Daryl. Oh, Daryl. Shit man.
Yeah, that's all I've got-I'm spent. Let me know if you guys are lost in the way we're splitting up the action. We've got some interesting things comin' up. Jimmy's little activities (can you guess what he's up to?) and oh yeah… we got the return of Merle -even if it is only imaginary Merle. Should be fun!
As always thanks so much for reading!
Much love & see ya next chapter!