Clearing the Air

Edward's POV

"OH MY GOD LEAH! YOU FINALLY DID IT! YOU SAID YES!" I heard Denise squeal as I entered the kitchen. I saw the scene I expected to see Denise looking at Leah's hand and gazing at whatever ring her Dave saved up to give her. I didn't get her logic. She wasn't making our situation easier I guess she was being as stupid as I was. As far as she knew I has made any moves to change my situation with my wife. I walked in with my head down because I knew actually viewing the scene with my own eyes would cause an anger in me that I wasn't sure I could control.

"So how did he propose?" Denise asked and I really wished they'd have this conversation outside of the kitchen.

"Uh, he actually didn't I did," Leah corrected her friend and I snorted. All of sudden now she was eager to tie herself to this shrimp. She was running away from me. Leah was always a fast runner. "Lately he's been so sweet and romantic and we practically live together anyway. I just thought this was the next step and you know … I love him."

"Wow Leah, this is really a change of pace for you. You were so adamant you weren't ready for marriage. What brought on this change?" Denise asked and Leah said nothing.

"I just realized how lucky I was to have someone like Dave. I realized I wanted to be happy with him forever," Leah said but the tone in her voice it was like she was trying to convince herself.

"Well, I'm happy for you girl and Dave's a lucky ass man!" Denise grabbed her bin and went into the dining area. Leah stayed behind I glanced back at her she was adjusting her black apron and grabbing an order book and a pen.

"Congratulations," I murmured quietly just because I knew it was the right thing to do.

"Thanks," she said dryly. I knew better than to ask her if she was sure about the decision she was making. She was making a statement and in her own mind proving to me that she wanted no parts of me.

"Good luck tonight I heard they scheduled three big parties the tips should be good," I said with the friendliest voice I had. Leah just narrowed her eyes for a second and walked away. I turned to work and I tried to fight the hurt anger that was stewing within me. I broke several dishes in my attempt to wash them. I wiped my brow I thought this was what I wanted. I thought just being close to Leah would be enough. I was wrong. I knew I wouldn't be able to stay here if she were to get married. I couldn't even stand her saying that she had a boyfriend I could imagine hearing her talk about her husband.

"I'm going to have to move," I mused aloud. It ripped me apart inside to even think about it. I knew the right thing to do was to just disappear from everyone and start my life over alone. Then the people I cared about the most would have the chance to be happy. I did the dishes at the speed only I could and was going to try to get off early and make arrangements to leave. I needed to talk to Carlisle. I wanted to be gone before the family made it here. I moved to the storage room to make the phone call. I ended up getting Carlisle's voicemail.

"Hey Carlisle, it's me … I uh … I won't be in Virginia when you get here. I plan to leave tonight. I think Bella was right. Coming here and seeing her again … I realized how stupid I've been. I just need to get away from everyone." I hung up and turned to go find the manager and there she was she'd heard most of my conversation. I don't know what I didn't realize she was there. I must've been wrapped up in my own feelings and let my guard down.

"So you're leaving?" She sounded unhappy. How was that possible? She didn't want me anywhere around her yet she didn't want me to leave.

"Yeah, I think it's for the best," I whispered.

"Me too," she smirked a little. "I wish I could say it's been nice seeing you but." She was going to leave and I couldn't have our last conversation be so … unfinished.

"If I'm going to leave you forever Leah I'm going to need closure," I explain and she placed her hands on her hips.

"You mean like the closure I gave you before I left Forks?" She said smugly but even though I did miss her in a physical sense I was talking about something else. I need closure on what we meant to each other.

"No, I just wanted to know why you decided to commit yourself to someone you don't love?"

"You don't get to ask me that question Edward," she responded and I was confused. "Don't look like you're confused. I could ask you the same question couldn't I … you've been married to Bella for years. You claim not to love her but I'm not so sure anymore."

"I loved her when I married her," I corrected her. "I didn't know you were going to tempt me and put a damned spell on me!"

"So all this is my fault now!" She was enraged but that's honestly how I felt. If I hadn't found her in the forest that day I wouldn't have now I could be awakened in such a way. "You just a slime ball who was tempted be tits and ass. You took advantage of me because you were stronger. I would've never done anything with you if I could fight you off."

"So are you saying I," I couldn't form the words to ask the question.

"No Edward never did you ever rape me. I would've never acted on any impulses with you if you hadn't been so persistent."

"Oh," I said thoughtfully I leaned back against the wall and she mirrored my actions on the other side of the cupboard. She crossed her arms she felt exposed.

"Since we're spilling our guts here. Why did you stay with Bella?"

"I told you."

"No, you gave that bullshit excuse. You would've been there for Ness regardless of if you were Bella or not. Plenty of humans have man it work I'm sure you and Bella could've split custody too. If you were under my spell. How could you stay with her?" Tears were in her eyes.

"It was guilt. I had turned Bella taken her life. I couldn't form the words to tell her I was leaving her alone. I told her not to change." It was the first time I had spoken the truth. I didn't want to leave Bella alone because I felt I owed her. "I love her in a way but I'm not in love with her." Leah frowned at me with tears in her eyes. One tear traveled down her cheek. I moved swiftly to her and wiped her tear away. "I'm not in love with her at all anymore," I whispered.

"You saved her she was dying giving birth to you daughter. You shouldn't feel guilty about saving her," Leah said as she closed her eyes. "You are a good man. Staying with Bella is to lie to her. If you stay in a loveless marriage than you are only causing each other pain. One day you may understand that."

"I already do. That's why I left without them and that's why I'm leaving before I get here," I confessed. "I wanted to do what I told you all those years ago. Each day I've thought about it. I even wrote a book about what it'd be like to live a life with you … to kiss you every day and make love to you." Leah's breath caught in the throat. She licked her lips and her heart was pounding so fast and loudly. "Leah," I murmured as I reached for her waist. She closed her eyes and shook her head.

"No, we can't … we've been in here long enough." She went to leave the storage room but stopped. "This was good Edward, us clearing the air. It makes me hate you a little less." She turned to me and offered me a little smile. I smiled back but I was still dead inside. Nothing had really changed she was still going to married Dave and I would be alone.

Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed this! It's been a while.