So, I have the next chapter up already. Wow. Haha. So...how goes the cracky Uchiha clan? Well...it's obviously in the blood. Poor Midori, saddled with such a clan. Sigh.
Or was it the other way around?
Hehehe.
Once Midori and Itachi's engagement was finally confirmed (to the bitterness of many elders) it was as if the dam had broken, flooding the district with gossip.
Yes, Uchiha gossip too.
It's information. It's the blood of Shinobi warfare.
Even if it has to be repeated.
And repeated.
And repeated.
Because Yoriko-obaa-san who sold Miyuki-san and Mikoto-sama the box of specialty dango had asked how they came to be shopping together (after all, the two women were hardly close) and received the news from the new mothers-in-law themselves. The clan had been wondering about the walks and meetings of the two older children for a while, but since Sasuke-kun tagged along most of the time, they couldn't confirm it.
After all, as shinobi, news had to be verified.
So Yoriko-obaa-san was overjoyed to pass the good news along to her daughter Kanoko who told her husband Tomo who blurted it out to his friend Hiroshi over a drink who shared it with his girlfriend Yoshie who twittered to her sister Mina who was sorely disappointed and complained bitterly to her peers who commiserated with her at the loss and returned to their parents with complaints who went to their branch heads who turned to the elders for answers.
Who took one look at their clan head and scowled.
And so, (re)confirmation given, the news spread like wildfire to the rest of Konoha through Uchiha teammates.
And now wherever they went, the 'adorable couple' was bombarded with well-wishes and free gifts.
Itachi sighed, "Midori, you've already gotten dango from the previous two stores."
His fiancée shrugged, "Dango is dango is dango."
"What does that even mean?" He gave her an exasperated look as she bit into her (seventh? eighth?) stick of the sweet treat.
"It's dango," she insisted, finishing the one in her hand and reaching into the box for another.
He slapped her hand away, "That's enough. It's unhealthy to eat so much sugar."
"Sugar is carbohydrate which is energy which I use," she retorted, snatching at the box. He blocked her again. She scowled, "Give it!"
"No," he frowned, sealing the box away into his storage scroll. He'd always carried a scroll around, but it was only after meeting Midori that he'd used it to store sweets of all things. Surprisingly, he'd forgotten about it once and had had some daifuku during a rather miserable mission in Rain.
"But Itachi-kun…" she whined, making sad doe eyes in his face. He resisted the urge to roll his eyes—Sasuke had picked it up from her and his were much, much better.
Not that doe eyes worked on him, of course.
When he remained unmoved, she huffed and sighed. They were walking around the shopping district, in particular the food district, because she knew they would get free samples. Somehow, they'd become a weekly sight, with all the shop owners (especially the dango shop owners) recognizing them and calling them by name.
"Oh hello, dears!" Akimichi Yuuka-san greeted. She'd married into the Akimichi clan and was praised for her skill in making onigiri, "What would you like this time?"
Before this, Midori had tried all the conventional flavours. So now, she asked for new ones. Unfortunately, they had never tried Itachi's favourite seaweed onigiri…which was basically normal onigiri…just with the seaweed inside.
It tasted good! Biting into the warm, sticky rice to the crunchy seaweed within…
"Can you make an onigiri with the seaweed inside?"
He paused. Nobody but okaa-san knew he liked that. Not even Sasuke. Had she really run out of weird flavours to try?
"Oh, how unusual!" Yuuka-san chuckled, scooping rice with her left hand deftly. She passed seaweed samples to Midori, "Now, which seaweed would you like?"
Midori chewed each one carefully before replying, "Wrap this iwanori and that hijiki in this nori, but don't squeeze too much. The onigiri has to have a proper hollow in the center instead of just squashing it together so use less rice."
Itachi was surprised. He had only ever used nori in his riceballs, and admittedly he usually squashed them together. The flavours Midori picked always tasted good so he made a note to try that the next time he made them.
"My, that's a lot of thought," Yuuka-san laughed, tipping her palm slightly and reshaping the onigiri half in her hand. She was used to Midori's bluntness by now, finding it charming instead of offensive. It was true of a lot of other people.
Itachi wondered if his fiancée was right and the proper etiquette drilled into him by his father was unnecessary after all.
…No. It was just Midori being her usual fungal-like self and growing on everyone.
The boy nodded, finding the comparison Midori had made of Sasuke more fitting of the originator.
Not that she was growing on him, of course.
"Here," he blinked at the item thrust under his nose, going slightly cross-eyed in the attempt. The perpetrator snorted and waggled it impatiently.
The smell informed him that it was the rice ball Yuuka-san had been making.
"You're drooling," his fiancée deadpanned, prompting him to hurriedly swipe at his mouth. When his hand came back clean he glared.
She grinned and tilted her chin at her offering, "My hand's getting tired."
Grudgingly, he took the snack from her, "Thank you."
"Ah, ah, ah," she shook her finger from side-to-side like a representation of her head (where did she get these mannerisms?) and smiled the smile he was beginning to call, if only in his head, the Devil Smile, "Thank you, who?"
"Thank you…" he gritted his teeth, "Midori-hime."
"You're welcome, Itachi-kun," she beamed before taking a bite out of, he realized with exasperation, a second onigiri.
"You're going to get fat," he muttered under his breath before flicking his eyes at her quickly in caution—sometimes she seemed to have beast-like senses. When she didn't react, he returned to the food in his hand and took a bite.
Mm! It was good!
He took a bigger bite.
And another.
And another.
Too soon, the snack was gone. Itachi kept the disappointment from his face, but debated the possibility of getting away with licking his hand. After all, Midori did it all the time…
"Ahem," the girl cleared her throat pointedly—what did she want now? "Yuuka-san, I'll get half a dozen of those, please."
"Oh, you liked those, did you now? Coming right up, dearie. I'll add in two more for free!"
Eight more of those delicious onigiri…
…Not that they were for him, of course. She probably liked it. After all it was delicious.
…Maybe she'd let him have two? They were free after all…
Or maybe just one?
"Here," she passed him the box—was it all for him after all? "Put it in your scroll. I don't want to carry it around."
Oh. Right.
xXXx
Their training was interrupted, yet again, by Shisui. Even Itachi was becoming irritated by him, but he tolerated it because he annoyed Midori too.
"Oh hey there!" His cousin exclaimed in false surprise, "Fancy meeting you here!"
"Hello Shisui," Midori deadpanned, "What a coincidence that we would meet each other in this extremely unused training field that is partially hidden by the forest and nearly at the border of the village. How fortuitous that you would be passing by this area even though there are no paths or shops around at the same time we were going to use it."
He hid a smile. Sometimes Midori was blunter than a club. A lot of people didn't know how to deal with her straightforward words. Shisui included.
The famed Uchiha genius (the eldest of them three) flailed a little before rallying, "Y-yeah! Isn't it lucky? Ehehehe."
"Who put you up to this," Midori demanded, her voice gaining that edge to it that heralded pain, "I've been patient and tolerant of this whole charade and you should have gotten the information you wanted if it was just checking whether we're really engaged or getting along. And you only come around when we're training so…" she growled quietly, "Who's been asking you to spy on our training."
Itachi stared at her in askance. Shisui was probably just playing chaperone for the both of them—they were still young after all. He understood that she was annoyed but she was jumping to conclusions. As usual, her ability to shift from cheerful to irate surprised him.
He'll never understand girls…
"Ehehehehe," Shisui held up his hands placatingly, "I was just passing by, honest!"
Unfortunately, his older cousin had never dealt with an angry Midori. Annoyed, yes, angry, no. He wondered if it was alright to leave him to his fate.
The girl's eyes narrowed—another sign of danger. She was grinding her teeth now. Uh oh…
BAM!
Before he could blink, she had shunshined in front of Shisui and delivered an uppercut to his chin. Itachi winced—that was a painfully loud sound. As his cousin stumbled, she swept his feet and pressed a kunai to his neck.
Maybe she should have warned him about her speed…
And then he snorted. Shunshin no Shisui defeated with a Shunshin. He was never going to live it down…
"How the hell do you know Shunshin?!" the older boy yelped, "Miyuki-obaa-san hasn't taught you that yet!"
He blinked.
"And how do you know that, huh?" Midori raised a brow. She was baring her teeth in a cruel grin.
"Shisui…" Itachi frowned.
"Okayokayokay!" Shisui cried, "The elders just want to know if you have your Sharingan!"
Midori stared.
Itachi stared.
"They want to know if…?" she repeated, and then giggled. He transferred his stare from his cousin to his fiancée, the look going from mild disbelief to incredulity. Midori never giggled.
"They want to know if…?" she forced out between giggles before collapsing sideways. It was definitely different from regular giggling, Itachi determined after enough exposure. In fact, it was a rather demented version.
Giggles turned into cackles as time passed and then outright howling with a fist pounding the grass flat.
"Er…Itachi?" Shisui whispered, "Is she crazy?" He twirled his finger beside his temple to demonstrate the point.
He whispered, "It's worse than usual but…yes."
"I heard that."
His neck cracked as it snapped up. Oh no…
He elbowed his cousin and hissed, "RUN!"
"What? What do you mean—aaaeeeiiiiiiii!"
xXXx
When they had finally escaped the unleashed she-beast, Shisui nudged his cousin, "…So. That's your fiancée?"
"…"He nodded speechlessly.
"I know that you're no looker," Shisui coughed, "but surely there are others?" He continued, oblivious to the uncharacteristically apprehensive look on Itachi's face, "I mean, you'll grow into…you, and it's better to escape before that…er…that gets her hooks into you."
"Shisui."
"I mean, of course unless you like that type…"
"Shisui."
"I wouldn't be surprised if you did, it makes sense actually…"
"Shis—what?"
"Huh? Well I always wondered why you avoided all the cousins who threw themselves at you. I mean a few of them were literally flinging themselves in your path. Of course they're after the clan-head-ship but I heard some of them say they thought your prowess in the field would translate to prowess in bed."
"What?!"
"That's to be expected of course, but you're still young. Well, I know everyone wants you to marry a younger girl, but there are benefits to an experienced woman, you know?"
"…what."
"And it's not unheard of to have two wives. Since you're clan head and everything. You could marry one of our cousins, and then make her the second wife."
"…"
"It's a solution isn't it? Hehehe, I'm so smart!"
"What's with that expression?"
"Itachi?"
"Itachi?"
"…How long has she been behind me? HURKK! Why are you attacking me too?!"
"AAAAEEEEIIIIIIII!"
"…"
"…"
"He's got a really girly scream, doesn't he?"
"Yes."
"…"
"…"
"…I still haven't forgotten what you said."
"..."
"I'm eating the onigiri in front of you."
"NO!"
SO! Itachi can raise his voice after all! Hahahaha! I read his wiki page and found out he likes to eat onigiri with seaweed inside...which is...a reverse onigiri? What the...? And he likes CABBAGE. I mean...what? It's all rabbit food and then I suddenly got this image in my head of him nibbling on a cabbage head. LOL. I might include the cabbage thing later, but I couldn't resist the reverse onigiri. *snort*
Here's a request when reading or rereading the dialogue. I wanted to add in actions but it seemed a little contrived. So: When Shisui is talking about lewd stuff, imagine him waggling his eyebrows. And Itachi's face goes from apprehensive during Shisui Shisui to gobsmacked (which means knitted brows for him I guess) to incredulous and then deadpanned. And I skipped the '...'s after because there wasn't a long enough pause between Shisui's questions to merit them.
Basically: Read the thing like you're reading a play. Because that's how I wrote it lol.
Poor Itachi. He didn't get any onigiri in the end...XDD
Memory25