New Meanings To Old Words: Love
Shifting around in that same day as last chapter… I'm gonna be focusing on a specific character set this chapter, can you guess who from the title?
As always read, review and most of all sit back and enjoy!
~michelle
Disclaimer: I own nothing, except Callie and the crew of misfits (Danny, Miles, Jenna, Mike, Nina, Ben and Gracie).
Where Did You Sleep Last Night
Lori smiled tightly as Rick and Carl both looked back at her. Carl's smile was so infectious that she couldn't help but let go of that bit of the tension that had settled on her shoulders and smile wider at her boy as he turned back towards the targets. Rick's eyes lingered on her for a moment and she ran her hand through her hair holding it back from her forehead to return his small smile.
It had been a long time since they'd had a moment to just sit and smile at one another. Almost too long. Lori felt a stabbing pain in her chest as he ducked his head and turned back to readjust Carl's stance and help him to again line up his target.
As soon as his back was turned, she let out the deep breath she'd apparently been holding in and let her eyes slide down the line of men and women. Each time a gun went off her body jerked and she wrapped her arms around herself as her eyes slipped back to Carl pointing his weapon at the bottle settled upon the fence before him.
The sounds were too much, and she found herself slowly leaving Rick and Carl to their training. Her eyes skipped over the lush fields of green and her arms wrapped tighter around her body. The need to protect the small bit of life growing in her was so strong that she had to constantly stop herself from rubbing at her stomach. Which was why as she walked she kept her arms tight at her chest.
The sound of a gun going off caught her ears and she turned to see Callie settled on her knees with Ben. The woman was smiling a bit as she worked to settled Ben into a proper stance Miles not far off smiling at them. Lori's gaze slipped behind her and her brow furrowed at how far Callie had put herself from the rest of the group. Not the group, she was still close enough to Rick that they could share smiles over the heads of the kids. Not the group.
Shane.
Lori firmed her lips and found her feet slowly taking her towards where Callie was settling back on her heels to watch Ben take his shot. She watched the woman rub at her head, obviously in pain, and then give a small smile and nod to Ben when he checked his footing with her before letting off the round.
The glass broke just as Lori came to a stop at their backs and she smiled when Ben turned around triumphantly.
"Can I have more than one bullet in the gun now?" Ben said excitedly. "That's five in a row. You said-"
"Jesus, yes." Callie waved her hand around and sent him over to Miles who was chuckling on the ground as he got out the requested ammo.
"C'mere, buddy. I'll show you how to load it up," Miles said letting his eyes slip up to Lori for a moment. "Hey Lori."
"Hi Miles," Lori said in return moving slightly as Ben ducked around her hip and dashed for Miles. She watched the younger boy almost slide to a stop and shook her head when he began to bounce from foot to foot. "He's excited."
"Yeah," Callie said from her position on the ground. "Still keeps goin' on 'bout Daryl teachin' him to use the crossbow." Callie rolled her eyes. "Swear to God those two are gonna be the death of me." Lori smiled and Callie eyed her for a moment. "Carl seems happy," Callie said shifting her attention to where Carl was settled in by Rick. Rick's eyes turned at that point and he sent Callie a beaming smile while Carl waved. Callie returned both gestures and then shifted her eyes back to Lori, lifting a hand to shield her eyes from the sun. "This still isn't sitting well with you is it?"
"No," Lori said turning her head and watching Rick reload the gun for Carl, his mouth moving as he no doubt explained something important about the workings of it to the interested and excited boy. She turned back to Callie who had risen to her feet and sighed. "I feel like an idiot because of it, but I just can't seem to get to the point where this is a good idea. Does that make me a bad mother? To not want my boy to have to know such things."
"In my opinion that makes you a good mother," Callie said quietly as she stepped closer. "To not want your child to have to know the horrors of the world, to want to protect him from them. I mean hell before, Danny and I didn't even let Ben and Gracie get out of the Hummer until we were sure the entire area we were stopped at was secure. We held tight to them, shielded them. All of them," Callie smiled and shifted to look at Miles who was working to get Ben back into position to take a shot at the bottles he'd lined up. "It's not wrong to feel that way. But it may be a bit naïve at this point."
Lori nodded and let her eyes slip over Ben and Miles, watching as the two boys worked together. Letting her hands fall from their tightly wrapped position on her chest she reached out and squeezed Callie's arm.
"Carl's getting shot," Lori said quietly as Callie's eyes continued to bore holes into her. "Almost dying. What happened to Jenna," Lori's eyes settled on Callie's and she squeezed again. "Sophia," Lori's head shook and she looked over her shoulder to where Carol was working with T-Dog to line up a shot. "God, it's horrible to think what it's taken to make us see just how naïve we've truly been." Lori shook her head again and let her eyes fall to where Carl was. "How can we ever hope to survive this? What hope for a future is there if our children are born in a world where they're expected to be tiny soldiers in a war that may never end?"
Silence fell between them and Lori let her gaze slide over each and every person lined up in that field. The echo of the gunshots were an eerie soundtrack to the sight of men, women and children standing in a beautiful field on a sunny late summer day. She stared for a long time, until she felt the touch of Callie's fingers upon the back of her hand.
A hand that had, of its own accord, lifted to settle over her abdomen where that little spark of life struggled to keep hold and grow.
Lori's eyes widened just a bit when she saw Callie's eyes on her hand and where it had settled. It was the second time the woman had caught her making a motion that she knew was telling. But as she had before Callie shifted her eyes back to Lori's and a small smile tilted her lips.
"How much gun training have you had, Lori?" Callie asked patting Lori's hand absently and turning towards the small backpack settled near where she and Ben had been set up. Lori blinked a few times as Callie dipped down and rummaged in the bag.
"I'm not really a gun person," Lori said letting her hands fall and walking to meet the woman who was now chuckling.
"I thought we just had this conversation," Callie said over her shoulder. "Maybe you need a refresher on the meanin' of the word naïve."
"Shut up, Callie." Lori said with a smile and a shake of her head. Callie lifted back to a standing position and reached out a hand in offering. Lori's eyes widened at the small silver gun that stared back at her. The gun had a reputation, one that had Lori's jaw clenching and her feet taking her back a single step as Callie continued to hold it out to her. "Callie—"
"You need to learn," Callie said holding the gun out. "This is mine," Callie said quietly her hand curling around the gun and her eyes shifting down to it. "The one I learned with. The one that has become something it was never meant to be. I want to fix that."
Callie flipped open the cylinder and shook out the single bullet that had been inside of it for God knew how long. Lori watched Callie roll that bullet in her fingers and then place it into her left pocket. Shifting the gun to her other hand she fished into her right pocket and pulled out a handful of bullets. She slowly reloaded the gun and then slapped the cylinder shut again before looking back up at Lori.
"I don't think," Lori shook her head and thought about taking another step back but Callie reached out and put the gun in her hands.
"This was given to me a long time ago by someone who only wanted me to know the importance of protecting myself." Callie stared hard into Lori's eyes as she spoke and Lori felt each word stab into her. "I perverted that," Callie said quietly again her eyes slipping to the gun now held in both of their hands. "It's time to retire the Fat Lady, Lori. Time to stop thinking about the horrid 'what if' scenarios and focus on surviving. Not only for our own sake, but for the sake of our children."
Lori stared at Callie, the sounds of the gunshots around them suddenly fading into the distance. There was truth in Callie's words, and much like Lori had come to expect and respect about the woman, that truth was harsh and real. Exactly what was needed in this world they lived in. Lori held Callie's gaze, realizing that the woman wasn't just giving up a gun for protection, she was giving up a piece of herself. A piece of herself that had more history and meaning to Callie than she'd ever expected.
Lori's fingers curled around the gun and she held to the unfamiliar weight as Callie's hand fell away. Lori stared at the small handgun for a moment before lifting her eyes back to see Callie waving her towards the line of people.
"C'mon," Callie said with a smile. "Let's get a few shots in before we pack up. Get you comfortable with the weight. She's small, so she's good for beginners. That's why Uncle Tug bought her for me all those years ago."
Lori let out a long sigh and shifted her eyes to where she could see Rick and Carl watching her. Right over Rick's shoulders she caught sight of Shane settled further off speaking with Andrea at the far end of the line. No more naïve expectations. No more easy ways out. It was time to take control. Lori looked back to where Callie was waiting and stepped closer. Callie worked to help her position herself and she sighted down the small gun. She let out a shuddering breath and felt her body shake with nervous energy.
"Don't over think it," Callie said quietly from Lori's side. "It's a fucking bottle. Right now, focus on the bottle. Later you can focus on the Walkers. Right now, it's just a bottle." Lori's jaw clenched and she shook her head slightly to try and focus her thoughts. She pulled the trigger and felt the small recoil, grimacing as the bullet veered low and imbedded itself into the wood below the bottle. Lori let out a disgruntled sigh and lowered the gun. "Not bad," Callie said patting Lori's shoulder and poking her hands. "One more."
Lori fired again and the shot went wide, and upon the poking of Callie she fired again. That third shot she hit the bottle. Lori smiled widely at Callie as she nodded and dug into her pocket for more bullets.
"You gave her the Fat Lady?" Miles asked, causing Lori's eyes to shift over her shoulder to where the boys had settled. She flushed at the sight of her audience and Ben looked up at her and twitched his nose.
"Daryl ain't gonna like that," he said quietly making Lori huff out a little laugh.
"Think he'll like it more than learnin' you were carryin' it around, buddy-boy." Callie said shifting her eyes over to the two. Miles chuckled as Ben's eyes widened at the thought of Daryl finding out what he'd done. "I'm not gonna tell him. Don't worry. As for him not likin' me giving it away," Callie said looking to Lori with a smile. "It's my fuckin' gun. I can do what I want with it. If he has a problem with that," she looked right at Miles and grinned, "He can bite me."
Callie's statement instantly brought a smile to Miles' face and Lori wondered at the hidden meaning to the words. She watched Ben laugh and shook her head when the boy shrugged and then worked his way towards Carl and Rick.
"Bite you, huh?" Miles said quietly as he walked up to Callie. "Nah," he said lifting his hand and smacking into Callie's shoulder playfully. "You'd like that too much."
"Get the fuck outta here," Callie swatted at him and he dashed away laughing and smiling at Lori. Lori felt herself chuckling and as she caught Callie's half-hearted glare she tried to school her features. "Don't you start," Callie said lifting a finger to Lori who raised her hands in mock surrender. "Get back into position and hit the next damn bottle, Lori."
Lori shifted back to where she'd been standing and stared out at the line of bottles along the fence. It was strange, but standing in line with the rest almost helped to dull the echoing sound of the shots being fired. The sound wasn't quite as jarring as it had been when she'd been so far removed. And for the first time in a long time she didn't feel the reflexive urge to lift her hand to her stomach.
For the first time in a long time, she felt a bit of power and safety and dare she say hope flood back into her.
"It's gonna be okay," Callie said quietly at Lori's side, causing her eyes to slip over to the woman she'd almost forgot was there. "It's not gonna be easy by any stretch of the imagination. But life never is, is it?"
Shane's eyes shifted down the line of people and narrowed at the sight of Lori standing with the little six-shooter in her hands. He watched as Callie's mouth moved as she spoke to Lori, and Lori's head nodded as she apparently heeded the other woman's words. Shane felt his lips turn up in a bit of a sneer that shifted to a smile as the bottle Lori was aiming at shattered. Callie walked up and put a hand to Lori's shoulder and patted it twice before motioning for her to do it again.
Shaking his head, Shane shifted his attention to where Rick stood also watching his wife. Never once had Shane known Lori to actually fire a gun. He'd offered a bunch of times to teach her how to shoot, both before and after shit hit the fan and the world ended around them. But she'd never been interested.
She wasn't a gun person. Or so she'd said.
Shane's eyes shifted to Rick standing with Carl and Ben, smiling down at the boys as Miles slapped a hand to his back. His eyes caught on Carl, watching the kid that had become so much a part of his life smile and laugh at his once-dead father. Shane's eyes lingered on Carl as Rick put his hand on the campaign hat on the boy's head shifting it this way and that as he laughed at whatever Miles was saying.
That shoulda been him.
Not that Rick couldn't teach him, but Shane was the better teacher. Shane had the training to make sure that Carl would be the best marksman he could be. And that's what that boy needed. He needed to be the best. So that he could survive.
That shoulda been him teachin' Carl.
His eyes shifted to where Callie was crouched down gathering together her things while Lori continued to fire at the bottles along the fence. He felt his lip curl no matter how hard he tried to control it.
That shoulda been him too.
Callie got to her feet and swung her pack over her shoulder, and Lori tucked the small gun into her back pocket shocking Shane a bit more. Together Callie and Lori worked their way towards Miles, Rick and the boys, small smiles on both of their faces. Lori stepped up and put her arms around Carl's shoulders and pulled the boy to her as she smiled over at Rick. Shane felt his stomach clench just a bit at the sight of that smile she was giving Rick. But then her eyes slipped down the line of people, over everyone else and settled right on him. Her eyes settled right on him and he felt it down to his toes.
And that smile of hers slipped just a bit into something small and private. Something just between the two of them. Her head bobbed in a nod and he returned it, his eyes holding hers as long as he could before she turned away again.
Turned back to Carl. Back to Rick.
"So," Andrea's voice broke into his thoughts and had his eyes sliding away from the happy little scene playin' out further down the line. Shane regarded Andrea out of the corner of his eye and let out a bit of a scoffing laugh at the smile on her face. "You're still here." Shane's brow twitched as he turned his head to look at her fully. The woman smiled wider as she worked with the gun in her hand, Jenna's straw hat shielding her pretty blue eyes from the bright overhead sun. He felt himself smirking at her and watched her attention shift to the fields and then back to him.
"So are you?" Shane said annoyed by her already. "What of it?"
"Just wonderin' what changed your mind?" Andrea said slipping her gun up and taking aim at the bottles set out before her. Shane watched her fire off three rounds and listened to the shattering of the glass as each bullet struck home.
"Probably the same thing that changed yours," Shane said quietly, watching her tip her eyes back to him. "You and Danny work things out?"
"That's none of your business," Andrea huffed out staring down at the gun in her hands. Shane lifted a brow and watched her fidget a bit on her feet. She let out a sigh and Shane chuckled just a bit. "He's just like Dale. They both mean well, but they think that I owe them something for-"
"Saving your life," Shane supplied quietly. Andrea shifted a glare over to him and he let out a low laugh. "Yeah, I can see that bein' annoyin'." Shane said chuckling and reaching out to take the gun out of Andrea's hands.
Andrea lifted a haughty brow at him and he found himself smiling wider as her hand settled on her hip. He dipped his head a bit and shifted it to the side as he regarded her through his lashes.
"I didn't say that," Andrea said almost angrily.
"You don't think you owe them one for talkin' you outta 'optin' out'?" Shane said, the sarcastic twinge tilting his lips into a sneer as he said the last two words. He'd be damned if he was gonna beat around the bush with the woman. She'd been stalking around after him ever since they got to this farm, askin' him to take her with him when or if he left. Pushin' herself up into his business like she belonged there. Fuck if he'd give her a break when he finally had the chance to push a couple of her buttons.
"I think I owe myself a life," Andrea said angrily and he gave a non-committal sort of nod. "You got something to say, Shane?"
"Not sure what kind of a life you got planned," Shane said slipping the clip out of the gun and checking her ammo. His eyes slipped down the line of people to where Callie was settled with Miles and Ben just a bit away from everyone else. "I mean hell you're just getting the shit end of the stick from everyone lately, ain't ya. Can't find pleasure in helpin' with the 'woman's work'. And then you try to make a change and step up at look-out and well…." He lifted a hand and smiled at her leaving the part where she shot Daryl off. 'Cause fuck if he didn't actually find part of him wishin' he'da had the chance to work with her aim before that little incident. Bastard woulnd'ta got back up that's for damn sure. Andrea shifted on her feet and Shane smirked at her. "I heard about the little verbal brow-beatin' that Callie laid on you the other day. How's that sittin' with ya?"
"She was upset," Andrea said quietly, her eyes sliding over her shoulder to where Callie was standing with Rick, Lori and the others. "She was upset. I pushed, and she let me have it. And she was right to," Andrea said slowly. "Hence why I'm here," Andrea held out her hand for her gun and he shook his head and returned it.
"You know Andrea, between Dale and Danny up your ass every five minutes. And Callie acting holier-than-thou when it comes to fuckin' everything, I'm honestly surprised you haven't snapped yet."
"Shut up, Shane." Andrea said angrily as she shifted her gun around in her hands a bit.
Andrea shook her head, and her eyes traveled down the line of people. It was at that moment that Shane realized something. Realized that maybe Andrea's little puppy act around him wasn't her just being annoying and pushing into his business. Maybe she really did want a change. Want something different for the group. The distance that she'd put between her and where everyone else had set up settled deep into his brain.
Maybe he wasn't the only odd man out in the group. Maybe he had a fuckin' ally afterall.
"You can't tell me that it doesn't bother you," Shane said idly as he shifted his gaze down to where Callie looked to be gathering her bags. Miles smiled at her and nodded and Shane shifted angrily as he watched them about to no doubt start on their search for Sophia.
"What?" Andrea asked huffing out an annoyed breath.
"Bein' outta the loop on everything while Rick and Callie run around like they're God's gift to the apocalypse." Shane waved a hand, his eyes watching as every started to pack up. Andrea let out an angry breath and again shifted her eyes to the small group over at the other end of the firing line. Shifting her eyes back to Shane she let out an irritated sigh and rolled her eyes.
"I suppose it would bother me," Andrea said tiredly a tiny smile on her lips as she watched him. "If I thought for one instant that's what was going on." Shane shifted on his feet and watched her again stare at her gun before shifting what he could only describe as a slightly amused look to him.
"What do you think is going on then?" Shane asked shifting his head to the side as Andrea shook hers. He smirked at her when she just lifted a brow and waited for her to formulate her answer. Her still not wanting to step on toes, was just fuckin' adorable to him. Opinionated ass of hers, tryin' to be careful and considerate. Just fuckin' adorable.
"I think they're trying to keep us safe," Andrea said quietly, exhaling sharply when Shane scoffed and shook his head. "They're making decisions that I don't want to make. And that they're paying prices for it too." Andrea said calmly. Shane's eyes snapped back to her and he held her gaze with his. "I have no interest in making the decisions for this group."
"No interest," Shane nodded and scrunched his face a bit as he stepped closer to her. She inclined her chin and stared at him and he smiled. "No interest in makin' them. A'right. But you tellin' me you agree with everythin' that's goin' down here?"
"Sometimes it's not about agreeing," Andrea said quietly her eyes searching his. "Sometimes survival is about listening and following."
"Oh yeah, I know that," Shane said still smiling. "I'm just finding it hard to figure," Shane said lifting a finger at her. "If you're so keen to just follow Rick and Callie and what they're layin' down for us here," he leaned in and she firmed her lips. "Why you findin' it so damn hard to just listen and do what you're told?" He slipped his eyes down to her gun and her eyes flared a bit. "You think I haven't noticed you still walkin' around carryin' that gun everywhere? Honestly? C'mon, Andrea I'm not an idiot. Don't make me bring up that shot you took on the RV."
A beat of silence settled between the two of them and Shane watched Andrea slide her gaze back down the row of people slowly milling about getting ready to head back to the farm. She shook her head and flipped the safety on her gun before settling it at the small of her back. Her attention flew back to him and Shane's eye narrowed at that fuckin' haughty expression on her face.
"And just what would you do differently?" Andrea said quietly her head tipping to the side. "If you were in charge?"
"I'd give everyone back their weapons that's for damn sure," Shane said angrily, his gaze slipping over his shoulder to where Rick was again collecting the guns. "This ain't some fuckin' picnic. People need to be able to defend themselves." He looked back to Andrea and sighed at her raised brow. Fuckin' woman. "I'd make the hard decisions," Shane said angling his head as she quirked her brow a bit more. "Call off this search that's nothing but a waste of time."
"It's not a waste, she could be-"
"Don't," Shane said waving his hand. "That kind of shit don't suit you Andrea. Don't let other people speak for you."
"But I should let you speak for me?" Andrea lifted her brow and yet again Shane found himself smiling.
"No ma'am," Shane said watching Andrea shift on her feet a bit in annoyance. "No you shouldn't." Shane caught Rick's hand waving and gave him a nod and a wave back watching as everyone else started towards the cars. Callie and Miles were making their way into the woods and Shane shook his head at the sight. "That girl is dead, Andrea." He lifted a hand when her head began to shake and he looked over to the side and shook his own. "It's not somethin' I'm fuckin' happy to say. It's not somethin' I want to be true, but it's the fuckin' truth. And I know you know that." He let out a ragged sigh as he stared at her. "You had to watch Amy come back-"
"Don't," Andrea lifted her hand and he stepped closer spearing her with his eyes.
"You had to watch that," Shane said quietly his mouth twitching with the horrid memory of that day. "You had to see it. We all had to watch Jim go. We had to deal with Jenna," Shane blinked past the pain of the slight sting in his eyes. "Do you really wanna put Carol through that? You wanna find that girl and make her see that? Make her put a bullet in her baby girl's head?" Andrea stared at him, her eyes sparkling with unshed tears. "I'm not sayin' I like it," Shane said quietly his eyes shifting to watch Rick and the rest pull of leaving him and Andrea to settle in for her advanced training. "I'm just sayin', for the good of the group, it might be time to move on. Because when we find that girl dead, it could be the straw that finally breaks this group."
Another beat of silence flowed out between them, and Shane watched Rick drive off towards the farm. The dust from the wheels of his car clouded the world around them for a bit and Shane shifted his eyes to where Callie and Miles had disappeared into the woods.
"Rick has never once made a decision for this group without discussing it with us," Andrea said quietly causing Shane's eyes to slip to her. "If you have a problem with things maybe you should discuss them with him," Andrea said quietly as she worked her way towards the car. "Instead of walking off when he puts his opinion to you. And then stalking around complaining about his way of thinking." Andrea lifted a brow at him and smirked. "You're not the only one who notices things, Shane. I've seen you walk off when Rick tries to talk to you." Andrea let out a sigh and settled her open palm to the roof of the car. "Maybe you should stop acting like you're constantly trying to compare dicks with Rick and start actually making an effort to lead us. People would probably be more inclined to listen to what you had to say if they didn't think that it was all about you wanting to one-up your friend."
"You're a bitch, ya know that." Shane said heading towards the car. He found himself smiling when she actually shifted and smiled widely at him waving a hand in the air to show her disregard for his opinion. Shane scoffed out a laugh and caught her eyes over the roof of the car as they opened their doors. Shane stared at her for a moment longer, watching her eyes as they slipped down to the hood of the car where their hands sat. Nodding his head he smacked his open palm to the top of the car twice, breaking whatever thoughts had entered into her headspace. "Let's go," Shane said catching her eyes again before shifting and sliding down. "Losin' daylight."
Lori paced her tent, her hands wringing at the hem of her shirt wildly as she sniffed back the tears that threatened to fall. Her mind was circling around the events that had transpired since they'd returned from gun training earlier.
The point when she'd gone to speak with Hershel and been shocked back to reality by his words. She felt her mouth hanging open yet again and lifted her hand to cover it. She could probably blame it on her hormones being completely out of whack due to the pregnancy.
Or possibly on the lingering fear that had settled deep in her body after spending so many dreadful days and nights at the bedside of her son while he lay clinging to life.
Or maybe it was just the idea of heading back out into the horror that this world was now. The idea of leaving this place behind for the desolate roads and death that they would have to travel in order to make it to Fort Benning. A place that they couldn't even be sure was safe and secure.
Whatever it was, Hershel's words struck her hard.
"From what I hear you'll all be movin' on soon," he'd said glancing up at her with an expression she just couldn't read. "Fort Benning I hear."
She hadn't even been able to respond to him. She just walked away, her hand settled over her stomach as she did it. The weight of the world around her had yet again settled on her shoulders and she was having trouble breathing with it there. All that power and safety she'd secured earlier with Callie at their makeshift firing range had fallen away as soon as those words left that man's mouth.
Because a gun would help defend against Walkers, but it wouldn't help her deliver this baby. It wouldn't provide a semi-peaceful existence with sustained food. It wouldn't give this baby even the slim chance of survival and a life that this place would.
Lori slipped her hand away from her mouth and snapped the other one away from her stomach as she let her eyes shift out of the tent watching Glenn shuffle around camp. She spotted Rick making his way towards the RV, his hand sliding out to catch Gracie as she shot past and almost tripped. He righted the little girl with a smile and then waved at Ben and Carl nearby. Her conversation with him moments ago came rushing back and again her hand lifted to rake through her hair.
"Hershel's expecting us to leave," Lori had practically seethed at him, her hand shooting out and turning Rick from whatever he had been doing. Rick had turned to her with wide eyes and she'd blinked a few times before shaking her head and leaning in. Rick slipped his hand to her arm and led her a bit away from the prying ears nearby.
"I'm workin' on that," Rick replied quietly as his eyes shifted to take stock of all the people around them.
"Working on it?" Lori had spat back her hand flying out. "He thinks we're leaving. Said it to me. He expects us to leave." Rick's head was shaking at that point and she'd grabbed his arm. "You need to fix this. People are settling in here, Rick."
"I know that," Rick said harshly. His angered response had shocked her a bit and she'd stepped back while he began pacing. "I said I'm workin' on it."
"We can't go back on the road, Rick." Lori shook her head, and waved her hand. "We have security here. And medical care. What happens the next time someone gets hurt," Lori's hand fell from the air and she had to use every reserve of her energy to keep it from landing on her stomach. "You need to fix this."
"You think I'm not tryin' to do just that?" Rick whispered at her as he leaned in. "You think I don't realize how lucky we are to be here? To have stumbled upon this place? You think I don't know what might happen if we head back out on the road?" Lori's head shook and she blinked back tears as Rick leaned in and put his hands to her shoulders. "I'm tryin'. I am."
"Try harder," Lori said vehemently and she watched him flinch back. He'd stared at her long and hard at that moment and she'd instantly felt horrid for saying it. He shook his head and then lifted a hand and walked away.
Now, watching him speak quietly with Dale, T-Dog and Danny she was left to realize just how horribly she'd treated him. Hell, how horribly she'd been treating him. Her mind went back to months and months before, when they'd been having more bad times than good. Fighting more than discussing.
When they'd hit that point where they just didn't talk anymore.
There had been a point when she'd thought a baby would help. That maybe having a baby would rekindle the love that they'd shared so deeply when Carl was first born. She'd of course seen the error of those thoughts quickly. Knowing that to bring a child into a marriage that was already working towards an end was quite possibly the worst possible solution to their problems.
She'd known then, before the world had decided to tilt and fall around their feet, that a child wouldn't fix anything. That it would just add more weight to the load that they'd already agreed to carry, and she'd thanked God and wept in the tiny bathroom that joined his hospital room when she'd found out she wasn't pregnant. She'd known then, and suddenly she felt foolish for not realizing that nothing had changed in that respect.
In fact, the reasons for not having this child far out-weighed the reasons to have it.
The world wasn't what it was before. There was no medical care. There was no way to even be sure she'd live to carry this child to term. Not only that, but the weight of this child wouldn't be just hers and Rick's to carry now. It would be the whole group's burden. This child would not only put a strain on everyone, especially if they were forced out on the road again into God knew what kind of predicament. It wouldn't just strain their resources, it would put everyone's lives in danger.
Each cry a siren to the hordes of Walkers settled out there.
Lori paced, just as she had paced for the past two hours. Thoughts of everything that Danny had said to her the other night echoing in her mind. This was a miracle. She knew that, and part of her was sick to death at the thoughts rolling in her mind.
Lori's hand lifted and pressed to her stomach hard as she firmed her lips against the sob that wanted to escape. Her thoughts rolled back to the thoughts of keeping the baby. Of telling everyone she was pregnant. Watching Rick's eyes as he fought his fear and held tight to his promise to love, cherish and protect her for the rest of her life. Watching him take the burden of his on his shoulders as only Rick could.
Then she thought to another man's eyes. A man she knew would feel the pressure of this child as well. Because he'd made it clear that he had feelings for her. Made it clear that he wanted her to be his. And she'd been his. She'd foolishly followed the easy route and been his, and now she knew that this baby could be his as well.
The sob escaped as a whimper between her firmed lips and she shook her head.
This baby would tear this group apart. No matter if they stayed at this farm or not, this child would be the last bit of weight added to an already unbearable load that they were trying to carry. This child would break them.
Lori's eyes caught Glenn's form as he stacked the few pieces of wood he'd just chopped into a neat pile. In a moment of shear clarity she grabbed a pencil and in a rush opened the small notebook on the table in her tent. Her hand shook as she wrote but she pushed on and finished the few words. She stared at them for what felt like a long time before she tore the page out and rushed out of her tent towards Glenn.
"Glenn," Lori said shaking her head against the quiver in her voice and blinking the unwanted tears from her eyes. Glenn turned and lifted his brows, his concern immediately showing and piercing her with a sudden heavy guilt. She firmed her lips for a moment and stepped closer to him lowering her voice. "I've been thinking about what you said, about needin' help. And you're right. I do." She let out a small shuddering breath and gripped the paper in her hands. "If you're still willing to make a trip into town-"
"Of course," Glenn said immediately cutting her off his eyes shifting around a bit before coming to land on her again. "Anything. What do you need?"
"I need you to get this for me," Lori said quietly handing him the paper. Her eyes shifted to where Danny was settled with Ben and Carl near the fire and she felt her lip tremble a bit. "And I need you to keep it between us. Please, Glenn."
"Of course," Glenn said furrowing his brow as he gripped hard onto the paper. "Lori -"
"Please, Glenn." Lori put her hand to his shoulder and squeezed and he nodded. "Thank you." Lori pulled the younger man into her and hugged him, a breath rattling out of her chest when his arms lifted to hold her back.
"Hey," Glenn said as she continued to hold him, his voice showing a bit of his discomfort at her show of affection. "It's no big deal. Really."
Lori pulled away and wiped her fingers across her eyes roughly before staring at him. She held his gaze for a moment and then nodded. She felt his eyes on her back as she walked away, and her hand lifted to cup over her suddenly dry mouth. Callie's words echoed low in the back of her mind with each step she took away from Glenn and that little slip of paper.
Time to stop thinking about the 'what ifs' and focus on surviving.
Danny watched Shane's fuckin' pastel green Tucson pull to a stop outside and patted Carol's hand lightly. He smiled when she peeked over his shoulder to look out the window and she timidly smiled back before she finished wiping the newly cleaned wound on his side. She pressed a piece of gauze tight to the stitched area and taped with an efficiency that he envied.
"Gettin' to be a pro now," Danny said idly, wincing slightly as he slipped Dale's old red and white Hawaiian shirt back onto his shoulders. The one the old bastard had laughingly mentioned Danny could keep now that he 'ruined it by bleeding all over it'. Carol lifted a brow and shook her head.
"Not really something I like to boast about," Carol said wiping her hands clean and working towards the RV's door. She shot a look at him over her shoulder and smiled. "Maybe you should stop pulling your stitches out."
"Now how would you expect to hone your newly acquired skills if I didn't keep givin' you somethin' to practice on?" Danny asked limping behind her and smiling widely when she chuckled and shook her head. He put a hand to her shoulder as she stopped to help him down the stairs and grinned at her. "Plus, you get to see me with my shirt off," Danny winked and she rolled her eyes. "Admit it, it's a perk."
"You're malnourished and dirty," Carol said in a dead-pan tone as she waved her hand. "Obviously you're the man of my dreams, Danny."
"Fuck I like you, Carol," Danny said wrapping his arm around her shoulder. His eyes slipped over her head to where Andrea and Shane were getting out of the car.
"You say that to all the girls," Carol said following his line of sight to watch Shane and Andrea. He slipped his eyes down to her and squeezed her against him briefly.
"Yeah, but I only mean it with a few." Danny said letting his arm fall from around her shoulders. She smacked lightly at him and then began towards Andrea and Shane, her hands wringing as she walked. Danny watched her for a minute and then slowly began to follow behind, his hands working to button up his shirt as he moved.
Danny watched Dale work towards Andrea and Shane and gave him a quick nod as he walked.
"You all fixed up?" Dale asked quietly as Carol met up with Andrea. Danny nodded but didn't remove his eyes from where Carol was speaking with Andrea. Shane's eyes drifted over to Danny and a smirk tilted the shaved headed man's lips briefly causing Danny's eyes to narrow a bit more. Dale patted Danny's arm and then motioned for him to follow.
"Anything?" Carol asked quietly her eyes drifting over Andrea and then back to where Danny was slowly limping towards them with Dale.
"No," Andrea said grimacing and shifting on her feet. "I'm so sorry, Carol. We'll cover more ground tomorrow." Carol nodded stiffly and wrung her hands in the small towel she had been using to dry her hands. Danny stepped up and put a hand to her shoulder squeezing once.
"Hey," he said giving up on the other half of the buttons and leaving the shirt open from mid-chest to neck. "Callie and Miles are still out there." Danny said quietly. Carol nodded but her gaze lingered on Andrea for a moment and Danny's eyes picked up on it at the same time as the sharp witted woman beside him did. That cute little shirt of Andrea's was on inside out. Danny's eyes slipped back to Dale for a minute and then over and catching Shane's humored eyes. Shane's brows twitched just a bit as that smirk grew.
Danny couldn't help the light chuckle that escaped his mouth at that point. He just couldn't fuckin' help it. He shook his head lightly when Carol slipped her fingers over his forearm as she headed back towards the RV.
"They haven't come back yet?" Andrea asked quietly her gaze slipping between Danny and Dale. Her eyes skipped to Shane briefly and Danny grinned at the blush on her cheeks.
"Nah, you know Callie," Danny said waving his hand idly. "No stone unturned. Sure they'll be back soon though." He said as he looked from Shane and then back to Andrea a couple times. "So how'd you two handle things?"
"Uh," Andrea stuttered, Danny scoffed at the sound because as long as he'd known the woman he'd never heard her stutter. "Well-"
"What happened out there?" Dale asked seemingly out of the blue. And whether the older man noticed the state of Andrea's shirt or he just had some strange fuckin' sixth sense about sex that Danny didn't really wanna know about, Dale's brow furrowed when he shifted his eyes between smirkin' fuckin' Shane and stuttering Andrea. Andrea's mouth opened but no words seemed to make it out of the fog, so Shane stepped in.
"Place was overrun," Shane said his beady fuckin' eyes shifting from Andrea to Dale. He lifted them to Danny and curled his lips just a bit and Danny firmed his lips before smiling tightly back. "Lucky to have made it out at all."
"Musta been pretty hairy," Danny said nodding between the two of them and then spearing Andrea with a look. "Got your clothes turned all inside out and shit. Crazy times," Danny said as he lifted a finger and pointed it at Andrea who was staring at him wide eyed. "Glad y'all made it back in one piece."
Danny felt Shane's scoffing amused fuckin' eyes on his back as he limped away, and he shook his head. He heard Dale let out a very fatherly 'Oh Andrea' and heard the woman reply with a horridly sharp and annoyed version of Dale's name. Then Danny heard her footsteps working to catch up to him and not for the first time he found himself damning his torn up leg for no longer workin' the way he needed it to.
"Danny, wait," Andrea called out and he shook his head as he sniffed back his anger. Why the fuck was he angry? Honestly why? "Danny," Andrea called out again and Danny turned on his heel to face her causing her to stop short a few feet away. She stared at him and he lifted a brow waiting for her to say something.
"What Andrea?" Danny said lifting a hand to the air and then letting it fall. He smiled at her when she rolled her head on her shoulders as she tried to figure out what she wanted to say. "C'mon," Danny said shaking his head and wiggling his fingers at her. "What?"
"Danny I'm sorry," Andrea said quietly reaching out to him. He backed up and raised a hand and she stared at him in shock.
"Hey, nothin' to be sorry 'bout honey," Danny said in as nonchalant a tone as he could manage. "Ain't like I put a ring on your finger."
"Not like it would have mattered," Andrea muttered back her eyes shifting to the side.
"Hey," Danny said anger heating his words and causing her eyes to snap back to him. He lifted his hand and shook a finger at her. "Don't. This ain't about him. It's about you, Andrea." he said and then firmed his lips again. "Just you. Just like always."
Danny stared at her for a minute and then shook his head. He really didn't know what the fuck he was doing even standin' there with her. He shoulda just kept walkin' away. Let her yell at his back for as long as she wanted to. But there was something to her following him and that look in her eyes that had him stickin' his ground and hearing her out.
"I-" Andrea began again, her mouth opening and closing a few times as she stared at him. She took a deep breath and let it out and he felt that deep exhale in his own chest. "I'm so sorry, we-" she looked back to where the Tucson was parked and Dale and Shane were talking and then back to him. "We got overrun and-"
"I know," Danny said lifting a tired hand and cutting her off. He let out a long sigh and raked his hand through his hair. "I know. Sex is your coping mechanism. I remember," Danny said staring hard into her eyes as her head tipped to the side in what he could only assume was frustration. "Mine's drugs and alcohol." He said with a bit of snarl on his lips, watching as her head shifted and her brow furrowed just a bit. "At least one of us can say we didn't give in and take the easy way out, huh?"
"Danny," Andrea's voice was again pleading and finally he'd just had enough. He waved his hand around and let a long breath puff out his cheeks as he tried to firm his lips against everything he was feeling. He stared at her and he just couldn't seem to push down deep enough and scrape up what remained of the asshole he'd been before this whole shit storm happened. Shaking his head at himself he scrubbed a hand along his cheek and then behind his head.
"You a'right?" Danny asked cutting off her second attempt at his name and shocking her into a silent stupor. She blinked a couple of times and he lifted a single brow at her. "You're a'right?" He repeated calmly as he lifted a hand to the air between them. "The Walkers? The overrun shit? Everything?" He held her gaze and she continued to try and blink away her confusion, or maybe it was shock. Who fuck was he kiddin, he couldn't read the woman to save his damn life. "You're a'right?"
"Yes," Andrea said quietly, her voice not the powerhouse he was used to. He nodded idly and shifted his gaze to where he could see Dale working to follow behind a stalking Shane and out of his line of sight. Danny let out a disgruntled sigh and moved to walk past Andrea and after the disappearing men. Her hand shot out and caught his arm and he glared at her. "Danny I'm sorry I just—"
"What do you want from me, Andrea?" Danny said shaking his arm out of her hold and leveling her with an incredulous look. "Honestly, honey. You want me to say it's okay? Fine. It's okay. No harm, no foul." Danny shifted a hand to the air and waved it around. "Ya feel better now?"
"No," Andrea said quietly her head shaking lightly and those damnable unshed tears sparkling in her pretty fuckin' blue eyes.
"Well, shit honey," Danny said shrugging and turning away from her. "I tried."
Danny trudged away from Andrea and all those fuckin' horrid things he shoulda known better than to even start with her and made his way to where he could see Shane and Dale having a rather heated conversation. Danny limped his way around just in time to catch onto the tail end of whatever they were talkin' about.
"You think I'm the kind of man to do that to my best friend?" Shane asked getting into Dale's face a bit. "Huh? Let's think about that, Dale." Shane shifted forward and Danny saw Dale hold his ground even though his body language clearly said he wanted to back away. Danny shifted forward, his anger riding a bit too high. "You think I'm the kind of man that would gun down his own best friend. What you think I'll do to some guy that I don't even like when he starts throwing accusations my way?" Shane shifted just a bit closer to Dale and smirked just a bit. "Hmm. What you think?"
"Problem?" Danny said coming to a stop at Dale's back just as Shane pressed past. Shane's shoulder slammed hard into Danny.
"Get the fuck outta my way, Danny." Shane muttered as she shot a glare over his shoulder. "Last time I'm gonna say that to you boy."
Danny spun the rest of the way around, a growl deep in his throat as he reached out a hand to grab for Shane but Dale's hand stopped him.
"No, Danny," Dale said, his voice a harsh whisper. Danny shifted his glaring eyes away from Shane and back to where Dale stood wide eyed and breathless. Danny turned fully and put his hand to Dale's shoulders lowering his eyes to catch the older man's harried gaze. "Jesus."
Danny let a beat of silence flow between them while Dale backed out of his grip and ran both of his hands under his hat. The older man's head was shaking back and forth and Danny let his eyes slide from Dale to where Shane had stalked off to and then back. Wincing slightly Danny scrubbed both of his hands over his face roughly and then stared through the slats of his fingers at Dale.
"Ya know, Dale," Danny muttered through his hands. "When I said we'd push, I meant fuckin' 'we'." Danny slipped his hands down to his neck and widened his eyes at the older man staring at him in awe. "Fuck man, you don't poke that bear without me again. Got it?" Danny firmed his lips and shook his head. "I think it's time for you and me to have why my momma always referred to as 'share time'," Danny said rolling his eyes at himself. "Let's go, young man. Time to tell good ol' Danny what you've been keepin' from me 'bout dear ol' Shane."
Dale's eyes were still wide as he slowly nodded his head and reached out a hand. That hand landed square on Danny's shoulder and squeezed tight as Dale continued to try and gather himself. Danny reached up and patted the older man's hand and let his eyes slip around the camp.
The words, 'beginning of the end' rang out somewhere in the back of his head and he tried to shake them off as he started back towards the RV with Dale.
Tried and failed.
Rick was gut shot.
That's what it felt like. Like he'd been shot and was bleeding out slowly; painfully. Each step was heavy and hard, but he pushed past that strange fuzzed feeling in his head and picked his path down to where Danny had pointed him.
Fuck. Danny.
Danny'd looked gut shot too. His wide eyes when Rick had turned to him holding those crumpled up blue packages. It was like looking in a mirror. The fact that Danny had known that Lori was pregnant, the shock of that settled deep down somewhere in the pit of Rick's stomach and rolled along with everything else. But Danny's words, his own helpless shocked response, helped to push it further down.
"Go!" Danny had grabbed Rick's collar and pulled him to his feet his eyes glaring at him. Whatever the man had come to discuss had flown out of his mind as he pulled and pushed at Rick. "You can be pissed at me keepin' it a secret later. You need to go after your woman." Danny stared hard at Rick at that point and Rick just stared back, the rush of blood pounding too loud between his ears to let anything through. "Fuck, wake up man," Danny smacked Rick hard, the sting of that hit waking him up and causing him to grab roughly at Danny's shoulders. "Good. Good. Now go."
Danny shoved him out of the tent and into the sun pointing the way towards the fencing that he'd seen Lori rush off to.
Rick's steps faltered just a bit as he spotted her thin frame settled on the dirt. He stared for a moment, his eyes blinking rapidly as he worked to steady his thoughts. There were too many of them though. All of them just rushing about and spinning around and he couldn't quite grasp onto what he thought he needed to. He only grabbed hold of what he wanted.
The anger.
He pushed open the gate and stalked onto that dirt road, and watched in silence as Lori lifted herself to a standing position. He wanted to go to her, wanted to get close and be able to see everything in her eyes, but he couldn't bring himself to close the gap between them. So he stopped and bounced in place for a moment as she stared at him, unshed tears in her eyes reaching down deep in him. Past the anger that he was workin' so hard to hold onto, past the confusion and just clawing down deep to that part of him that he didn't want to come through.
Not yet.
"Something you wanna tell me?" Rick said, sucking his bottom lip in between his teeth as he tried to control the damn trembling of it. His hand lifted out to the world around them and he waited. He watched and he waited to see what she'd say.
What she thought he deserved to hear. Because she was good at apparently picking and choosing just what he should and shouldn't know about her these days.
"We can't leave, I'm pregnant," Lori said her lips firming against her words and the emotion she was workin' so hard to contain. Rick's head began to shake and he felt the damn chuckle slip out as he finally used that anger to push the few feet forward.
"Are you?" Rick asked, lifting the crumpled packaging and then tossing them to the ground. "Are you?"
"I threw them up," Lori said, her voice quiet and defeated and again reaching down deep in him. He shook his head against the pull of it and held onto his anger. He held on to it and he turned his back on her pacing a few times as she just stared at him. "You can yell if you want," Lori said her voice barely a whisper in the rush of blood pounding in his head. He turned and glared at her and she tipped her head to the side, a pitying motion that made his mouth contort into a sneer of anger that he just couldn't control. "Scream if you need to. But please talk to me. Don't just be quiet."
"Talk to you?" Rick growled back, his hands flying out. "Talk to you? Like you talked to me?"
"You don't talk to me," Lori almost yelled back, her arms flying out. "What did you expect Rick. You've shut me out. You talk to Callie," Lori said her voice cracking on the other woman's name. Rick's eyes flew wide and he stalked back over to her. Lori held her ground and shook her head. "You talk to her, not me."
"Don't," Rick said angrily lifting a hand. "This ain't about her and this strange insecurity that you seem to have about her." Rick threw his hand out and turned away from her again. "This ain't about her. Don't make it about her. This is about you and me." Rick looked at her over his shoulder and stared as she blinked back more tears. Stalking towards her again he got right into her face and damned himself for it even as he pressed her. "How long?" He seethed pushing closer and watching her eyes go wide. "How long have you known?"
"Does it matter?" Lori asked confusedly and he pulled back. His eyes searched the green fields beyond them and he worked hard to push some of his anger down. It was boiling and rolling and he needed to control it.
"Days?" Rick asked quietly looking at her from the corner of his eye. "Weeks?" He squinted through the sun as it poured over her head and into his eyes. Her silence and the way her head tipped told him it was the latter and he felt the rush of horror that filled him at that. "And you didn't tell me?"
"I'm tellin' you now," Lori said softly and Rick pulled away from the brush of her fingers on his arm. Shaking his head he threw his arms up and stalked around, pacing out his frustration. The blue packages mocked him from their place on the ground and he snatched them up and threw them at her.
"No," Rick said watching her flinch back from the packages as they hit off of her and fell. "I found those," Rick walked forward and got back into her face his anger ebbing away to desperation. "So, so Glenn knows," Rick said feeling the sting of his own tears start to pang behind his lids. "Obviously, he got those for you. And I know Danny knows because he walked in on me finding them and let it slip." Rick shook his head as Lori's chin fell to her chest. "You go to them and keep this from me? You choose this?" he picked up the packages and threw them at her again before stalking away again.
"You want me to bring a baby into this?!" Lori yelled after him, her own frustrations and anger and desperation finally coming to the boiling point. He turned and glared at her. "We can't even protect the child we have," Lori rolled her head along her shoulders and Rick watched her mouth contort as she tried to control her sobs. She pushed on. "I screwed up," She said her lip trembling as she implored him to understand, and he did. Somewhere deep down in that pit of his stomach where everything was rollin' together he did understand, but he didn't want to. Didn't want to give into that feeling. "I don't know how we do this."
Rick let out a low shuddering breath and finally let a bit of that feeling slide out, instantly smothering the fire that had built inside him. Fire that had been fueled by more than just his discovery of her lying to him. Fueled by something that had been building between them since he first came back.
"Did you really think I'd make you have a baby you didn't want?" Rick asked quietly, his hand raising and falling helplessly as he stared at her. She shook her head and reached for him and he stepped closer. "I just don't understand why. Why would you keep this from me?"
"Because if I went through with it," Lori said quietly her hand reaching out to him and then falling to her legs. "It would be on my conscience, not yours."
Rick's legs buckled a bit and he shook his head, the tears he wanted to cry just falling despite his efforts to hold them in as he stared at her. Callie's voice echoed in his head for a moment, her words on Hershel's porch about what had settled between him and Lori eating them alive and how right she'd been. He licked his suddenly dry lips and lifted his chin only to duck his head back down and catch his wife's eye.
"I can't live like this anymore, Lori," Rick said and Lori's eyes widened just a bit as she stared at him. He firmed his lips and stepped a bit closer. "We can't live like this." He stepped away and gave her room as he asked the question that had become a weight on both of their shoulders. "Is there anything else I should know about?"
They stared at each other for a long time, and Rick saw the moment that she realized that he knew. That he'd known from the moment he got back to camp. That he knew her well enough to know that she was carrying a secret deep in her that she was desperate to keep from him. That he'd let her keep that secret. Let it grow. And that it was time to let it out.
"Shane and I," Lori said, and the words echoed in his head. He nodded, but he turned away. He turned because despite the fact that he'd known, hearing it from her lips still felt like a dagger to his already breaking heart.
"I know," Rick said quietly his hands falling to the fence in an effort to hold his shaking legs steady. "Of course I know. You know I know," He looked at her watching her face pale slightly and her hands shake as they raked through her hair. "You thought I was dead," Rick said through the rush of blood, his eyes searching the green fields as he tried to apply logic to insanity. "You thought I was dead. The world went to shit and you thought I was dead."
He watched Lori's shaking hands hover over her mouth as she grimaced and nodded. He turned his head away and watched the field again. He felt Lori's hand settle on his shoulder and he resisted the urge to pull from her grip. He resisted it with every fiber of his being.
Because if he pulled away from her now, they'd break apart forever.
Callie shifted her feet a bit as she listened to the sound of boots hitting the ladder as someone worked their way up to the top of the RV. She didn't turn, just listened to the sound of the shuffling steps as the person worked towards the seat behind her. The swish of the fabric as the person sat had her smiling and she peered over her shoulder just a bit to watch his hand lift and rub at the bridge of his nose.
A beat of silence settled between them, usually comfortable silence made uncomfortable by all the words left unsaid that hung thickly in the air between them. Callie shifted the rifle she held and propped it along the cooler beside her, her hands slipping slowly into the back pocket of her jeans as she rocked back on her heels.
Her stint at watch was over, and her eyes slipped over his head back towards the house.
"I'm not a man to ever turn down company on a long night," Rick said quietly, his voice so gravely it raked over her nerves and almost made her shudder as she turned to face him. He smirked at her in the low moonlight, obviously enjoying his echoing of her words. "But I know for a fact that there's somewhere you'd rather be." He shifted in the chair and put his hands to his knees. "Man you love, waitin' on a nice soft bed. Just sayin'."
Callie flipped him off and turned to face him fully, her eyes dragging over his ragged form. He looked horrid. Tired. Out of sorts. His eyes dragged from her for a moment and landed on the tent that he shared with Lori, the small lantern glowing inside. A beacon of light left on to guide him back. But Callie knew that he wouldn't be going back there tonight. He wouldn't be lying in that tent with his wife.
He'd be up here, keeping watch all night, because he thought he needed to prove himself the protector that these people wanted. Because he needed to prove that. Not to her. Not to the group. But to himself and his wife. His pregnant wife.
Instantly, Callie felt bad for even thinking to speak to him tonight. After what he'd told her happened with him and Lori earlier when she and Miles were out looking for Sophia. Callie sighed and slipped her hands out of her back pockets sliding them both behind her neck as she tried to massage the sore muscles and kill the migraine in her head. Rick shifted and settled back into the chair before just staring at her. She shifted on her feet and rolled her head along her shoulders but made no move to leave.
"So," Rick said quietly as he watched her with an almost unsettling amount of scrutiny. "What's on your mind that's got your legs so stiff, Callie?"
Callie chuckled and turned from him, her eyes sliding over the expanse of the farm. There had been quite a lot today that settled into her brain and kept her from just falling back into the comfort of that bed with Daryl. Quite a lot that she still needed to discuss with that fuckin' redneck. Quite a lot of different information, so much so that she was having trouble weeding through it all to figure out just what needed to be said. And what needed to be done. Her eyes closed and she thought back to her time with Miles today, and her conversation with Hershel.
"We should talk, Rick." Callie said shifting her eyes over her shoulder to where Rick waited patiently to hear what she had to say. Rick lifted a brow and settled his hands to his knees, his back slowly lifting from the back of the chair as he waited for her to continue. "I think it's time to start considering our alternatives." His brow rose higher and his head tipped to the side. "I don't think we can stay here. Not if I'm right."
My girl, my girl, where will you go
I'm going where the cold wind blows
In the pines, in the pines
Where the sun don't ever shine
I would shiver the whole night through
Her husband, was a hard working man
Just about a mile from here
His head was found in a driving wheel
But his body was never found
My girl, my girl, don't lie to me
Tell me where did you sleep last night?
~Where Did You Sleep Last Night/ Nirvana (Unplugged version)
AN: Okay, so there were SO many awesome scenes that I wanted to write out… but I didn't. (Lori and Dale's chat, Shane and Dale's confrontation…the whole Andrea and Shane at the little housing development)… Too much! But I hope you guys enjoyed what I pieced together. There were reasons for each segment here trust me. And we've got one more backtrackin' clusterfuck of a chapter to hit in this crazy day (cause we need to catch up with Callie and Miles...and Glenn and Maggie,...and Daryl...)and then we're gonna be moving to that all important horror (Barn-mageddon)
As an aside: for some reason (perhaps because I'm a child of the 90's and I can't help but have a soft spot for some Nirvana) I felt the pang of this song really hit home for the whole Rick/Lori/Shane thing…and then echoed a good bit for the whole Danny/Andrea/Shane part. I hope you enjoyed peeps.
I LOVE YOU!
See ya next chapter.