So I'm building on interesting facts that I found from Naruto wiki. I'm really proud of the new entries I've added into the annals of the Uchiha. I hope you love it as much as I do! Hahaha.

But remember when I said this story is half-crack? Yeah. The second part is that other half non-crack. I hope that you enjoy it too, and that it makes you think as deeply as I did. ^^

Some of the Uchiha traditions are rather old. And outdated.

Some are just plain irritating.

I tug at my high collared shirt and groan at the discomfort. I wasn't used to wearing something like this. I'd rejected the turtlenecks and been mostly successful in purging them from my wardrobe, but the traditional high collared shirt with the clan's Uchihwa?

Nope.

It was even beginning to interfere with my training. The high collar kept flopping around and distracting me during spars.

Mom wasn't very happy about that.

Stupid ridiculous floppy high collars.

I can't even be happy about the colour, because she'd decided that now I was betrothed, I had to be more 'feminine'.

Bah.

So my shirt is a light 'Sakura pink'. Ugh.

Have you seen an Uchiha walking around in a PINK shirt? Have you?

Nope. I'm the only lucky one.

Sakura pink is a girl's colour. And by 'girl' I mean 'female between the ages of one and twelve'. All my older cousins either have a shade of puce or maroon or forest green. The ones who that are kunoichi, that is. The civilian ones (and those are rare) wear turquoise, baby blue and periwinkle.

How do I know all these shades?

Because my future mother-in-law Mikoto-sama has started training me to be a young 'Uchiha Yamato Nadeshiko'. As opposed to a normal Yamato Nadeshiko.

What's the difference?

So far…not much.

But there are a few. Like 'emergency weapon stash etiquette'.

When you're married to a shinobi and are a kunoichi yourself, you have to agree on certain rules at home. One of the habits of ninja is the keeping of handy weapon stashes.

Of course, you don't want to hide your kunai in your husband's underwear drawer and have him cut himself while packing a change of clean underwear for a mission.

Or place a booby trap at the window and end up impaling him to the wall.

Or open the kitchen cupboards to get the tea set and find smoke bombs.

So…yeah.

Rules of the shinobi household.

Pretty cool huh?

As for what I've been doing outside of these lessons…well…I guess, training with Itachi, going on more play dates, help babysit Sasuke (ohmygawd so cute) and torturing Shisui.

Oh, my coming-of-age celebration is being planned. I'll have to re-demonstrate the Goukakyu (this time much bigger than the first one) and then I'll get a special gift from the clan with blessings. It's usually something that 'suits my personality', so I guess I'll have to see what the clan thinks is 'my personality'. From what I heard there were a few spectacular mismatches, but most of them were pretty on target.

Hmmm…

Oh well, nothing to do but wait and see. I'm going to go on a picnic with the Itachi's family now. We've been having quite a few of these family outings and let me tell you…

It's so weird.

Everyone is stiff and formal except Sasuke, and whenever I say something un-Uchiha-like, Fugaku-sama's brows disappear into his fringe and Mikoto-sama chokes.

Mom, on the other hand, doesn't react. But afterwards…

Yeah, she pretty much reams me out.

Ugh.

Mom's calling.

Alright, I'm going, I'm going.

Now if only I can get out of this pink shirt…

xXXx

It didn't take long before the Clan Head started working closely with the Fourth Branch Leader. The elders grumbled while the other branch leaders lamented the missed opportunity, but it was to be expected. As the branch that had contributed to the current head's marriage and was grandparent to the heir's, the Seventh retained status quo and didn't mind—there were two boys after all.

Of course, the couples were only just beginning to consider children again, but younger wives were the most ideal.

Perhaps they should wait a few more years? Sasuke was only three after all…

A five, no, four year difference? Surely, an engagement would not be made too early. Itachi had been an exception. Genii were, after all, exceptions to many things. So a girl within ten years would have a chance…

Maybe they should 'politely request' some of the kunoichi to retire. After all, mission casualty was a common thing and they were already having a slight…domestic…shortage. And even if they were a clan that understood kunoichi were worth as much as shinobi (sometimes…more), everyone appreciated a sweet and gentle wife waiting at home…

Like Mikoto-chan after she had retired. At twenty-two. After putting off her engagement with Fugaku-sama for eight years. Violently. With her famed Kokuangyo no jutsu that she had copied off the Sandaime and personalized.

On second thought…

Perhaps they should just let nature take its course and let the prospective mothers decide their own family themselves. After all, it was personal business. It wasn't as if they would not be having children after all…

But, that aside…

The Branch Heads had been Branch Heads for a long time.

They'd been around since Fugaku-sama was still Fugaku-kun and just a boisterous little boy who tossed any manner of shuriken he could lay his hands on. (The Fifteenth still winced at the memory of him throwing their heirloom Fuuma Shuriken and the dented blade that had to be carefully and expensively fixed) And they should rightly have become elders a long time ago, if only the stubborn old codgers would have the courtesy to just kick the bucket already.

But that was beside the point. *Cough*

They wanted grandchildren! What happened to all the cute babies they should be cuddling and spoiling? Sure, the Third War had the expected effects, and the…Incident had been a tragedy, but surely, it was time? It wasn't fair that only the First's elder got to gloat over his cute grandson after all!

(The first one…eh. Genii were exceptions. The kid would grow into his strength as per usual and with his mother's almond eyes and his father's…nose, he'd be a stunner. Never mind the strange lines on his face that made him look…uniquely…

Uniquely…

Matured! *Cough cough*)

Maybe they should start hinting to their daughters and nieces…

Ah, the meeting was about to start.

First, to gripe about the isolation of the Uchiha clan from the rest of Konoha (never mind they requested that themselves) and then to exchange information (gossip) and then to review the week's incidences that had required the intervention of the Police Force (the scrapes the Uzumaki boy got into…) and the state of the clan members' Mangekyo Sharingan (there had been at least one…not good, but useful outcome from the past few years…especially to the women who had miscarried or lost children).

The last discussion was the longest and the emphasis of this particular meeting. After all, the deterioration of one's eyesight in a clan that prided itself on it was a very sore point indeed. There was no cure for it, but the clan had long developed ways of slowing the damage. And those who had reached a certain stage would be advised to stop utilizing it so as to retain a somewhat acceptable vision. Those who refused would, alternately, be offered lessons in fighting blind.

And last but not least, the cataloguing of the various Mangekyo abilities so as to keep a record and at least some idea of training another who gained the same type.

Unfortunately, because the Mangekyo was very much based on the individual, the abilities…were adjusted to each person's personality. Generally, Uchiha mostly had the same traits. Almost everyone got Amaterasu and on average, that was it. Those who were stronger or had greater depth sometimes got either Tsukuyomi or Kamui.

And then there were people like Uchiha Tomaki, who had Ajisukitakahikone.

The name of a technique was mostly left to the originator. However, for Mangekyo techniques, the rule was that it had to be that of a Kami or at least something related to myth. It was a tradition started by Uchiha Madara himself, and was thus honoured and continued.

(The thought of whether they were going to run out of names was ruthlessly quashed)

Ajisukitakahikone was a Kami of thunder. A popular children's story went that in his infancy, his crying and screaming were so loud that he had to be placed on a boat and sailed away until he calmed.

(Of course, that was a story used to stop children from throwing tantrums)

Tomaki had gained a genjutsu ability that completely controlled one's hearing. And once placed, it could only be removed by the user. Even if the victim escaped, the genjutsu would remain for the rest of his life.

(One famous incident was of an Iwa jounin who had stumbled upon Tomaki near the border and left with a constant beeping in his left ear. Ten years later and he still had it, even though he had already gone deaf.)

When pressed to name his ability, Tomaki, who had a reputation as a cheeky and mischievous person, had come up with the Kami's name.

(And proceeded to master the saying of it until he became the only person who could say 'Ajisukitakahikone' in one breath without stumbling.)

Another example was Uchiha Yamashiki, who had named his Mangekyo ability Konohanasakuya-hime after the blossom-princess and symbol of delicate earthly life. Who was also the Kami of volcanoes.

Not that his ability had anything to do with volcanoes or blossoms or delicate earthly life. No, Yamashiki, a stout-hearted, loyal shinobi of Konoha, had named it thus because it contained his village's name.

That such a beautiful and feminine name would be used on the ability to cause selected shinobi within a radius to be magnetically pulled towards each other in a dogpile was…unfortunate.

(Yamashiki had always maintained that his skills were enough for any decent shinobi, and that the only thing he wished for was that his enemy be concentrated together. The better to burn them down in one Katon.

Incidentally, he remained one of the most esteemed shinobi in Konoha for having one of the highest kill counts. It helped that he had been around during the Second War.

On another note, none of the other villages ever figured out what jutsu was the one to cause the feared dogpile, since Yamashiki only ever cried out the first three syllables in his great loyalty. "KONOHAnasakuya-hime" was often drowned out by the other battle cries.)

Sometimes the clan wished that it didn't have the Mangekyo form at all.

xXXx

Being in the Uchiha clan was a very interesting and fun experience. Like learning about the history of the Uchiha even before the founding of Konoha. Surprisingly, it was easy to get people talking about how we were descended from the Rikudo Sennin himself, the mythology behind his great power, as well as the tale of the two brothers.

Of course, it was then that I discovered the underlying resentment carried by the whole clan, who not only carried the old grudge of the elder son, but found it insulting that the clan who had been entrusted by their ancestor had dwindled to only one remaining descendent who still carried the actual name.

Who had left the village.

And now, with the previous co-founder clan gone, the Uchiha felt that it was their right to step in and take the mantle of leadership. Certainly, Sarutobi Hiruzen, hand-picked successor of Hashirama himself, was a worthy Hokage. And Namikaze Minato had proven his worth after the Third War and especially the Incident.

But Hiruzen was old now, and there was still not clear candidate in sight. The Uchiha had put in the names of their strongest and brightest, but all had been rejected even though no alternative had been given. Merely saying, "They do not have the Will of Fire," Sandaime had turned all Uchiha candidates away.

I guess I could see why. Sure, as a shinobi who had outlived so much and even gained the moniker of God of Shinobi, Sandaime-sama had earned the right to be a cryptic bastard. But rejecting all those candidates with something that sounded like a fancy notion or vague excuse was just asking for people to take offense.

Obviously, Sandaime-sama was getting old, forgetting the political ramifications and all that. This wasn't just giving wise yoda words to a grasshopper after all. Though he probably saw it that way.

But bah. That wasn't any of my concern. Political bullshit was none of my business. Nope. Nada. Zip thy lips!

I'm not going to do anything.

Why you ask?

Well, let me ask you this one thing. Do you think that I, with just this one reason, would be able to stop a plan that had been in the making since Uchiha Madara?

Oh, you're asking me why don't I just reveal Danzo's intentions?

Okay, that's basically doing the same mistake Itachi-kun did. He went to Danzo and told him of the coup and then what happened?

Uchiha Massacre.

So if I go to the Clan Head, Itachi-kun's father, and tell him that his son had betrayed us and that Danzo knew of their plans…what would happen?

Itachi-kun executed and coup performed. A whole lot of bloodshed, whereby the Uchiha would either succeed, or die trying.

Don't kid yourself. The Uchiha would never succeed. Konoha has how many other clans? And you really think they'd take this revolt lying down? To make matters worse, our numbers are at an all-time low. And by the time of the coup, the replacements would still be, at best, five years old?

Ahahahaha. Yeah.

So in the end?

Still Dead Uchiha. Except probably Dead Itachi-kun as well. And Dead Sasuke-kun because he's the son of a traitor. And Dead Me too.

Basically the whole clan would be dead meat.

And after?

Who knows what the changes would wrought? Naruto becomes very powerful later on, but Sasuke had played a very large part in motivating him both as a rival and later, as a goal.

And Sakura? What happens to her without her love interest turned growing up catalyst turned goal?

Ahh…now you get it.

And what of the big picture? Tobi's still out there. Madara's plan is still in place. Danzo will still get his armful of Sharingan. Orochimaru might be missing a student, but again, who knows what happens? Maybe one of the bodies would 'accidentally' lose their eyes via his conveniently placed inside-nin, Kabuto?

So many variables, so many results to ponder.

And of course, you still have to take into account whether or not I'd even be able to change anything.

Take the previous example about warning the clan. In the end, the consequences are mostly the same, no? And it didn't do any good. In fact, I calculate that any action I take to purposely stir up the timeline would end in horror.

So I'm not going to do anything.

I've been given a second chance in life, but it's obvious it's on a limited timeframe. I'm not supposed to do anything to the plot. I'm just here to live my life as one of the Uchiha and die.

It's fine, really. I'm actually pretty grateful.

Yes, when I think about it, it's saddening, yes, I get frustrated at my helplessness, but when it comes down to it.

I'm actually relieved.

Can you imagine the burden of the plot resting on my shoulders? Hahaha.

I'm lazy, I'm selfish, I'm cynical.

I'm human.

And yes, I believe in fate.

I think that's probably the one thing Naruto gets wrong. After all, isn't he the 'prophesized child' who will save us all?

There is such a thing as fate, there is such a thing as destiny, but there's no such thing as a doomed fate.

If you look at it, fate is neither kind nor cruel. A life can be filled with suffering, but also have its precious moments of unadulterated joy. I think you can use the saying 'it is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all' as well as the philosophy that one cannot understand true happiness unless it has also experienced true suffering.

Maybe this all sounds like justification for my inaction. But when you put yourself in my shoes, I think you'd do the same.

Don't say 'of course not!' Don't say 'you're wasting such a good opportunity!'

I've read Naruto. I've read the manga and fanfictions of it. Yeah, I'm pretty familiar with the plot, the conspiracies, and even remember the little details like Itachi's favourite food.

So of course, I've read OC-insert fics.

One thing about OC fics that always kind of bugged me. They say that they're trying to change the fate of something or other, but in the end, not much is changed, right? You have this guy who's popular who survives, but all the events remain the same because basically the writers are lazy. Or they're not certain of the verse and don't know if changing would change other things or blah blah blah.

Basically, because you can't really calculate the Butterfly Effect, most of them just go along with the plot and change whatever they feel like changing and remove it altogether. So you get Jiraiya alive but not really causing many waves or you get Itachi alive but somehow everything ends the same.

Not that I'm complaining. I like stuff like that too.

But you have to know that it's different here. You have to know that that's not real life. Even with all that extra knowledge, you're not any better off than any regular person. You live and you die just like everyone else.

I died before I came here, and the life I had lead was full of struggles and bumps, but that is life. Everyone is the same. The biggest concern you're supposed to have, is how you're gonna live your life.

Someone once said: Worry about yourself before you worry about others.

How can you call yourself a normal person and still think yourself within your rights to change someone's destiny? Are you willing to take responsibility if it is for the worse? How can you, with your normal intellect and normal skills and basic humanity, consider yourself worthy of playing the roles of Oracle, Hero, or even Puppeteer?

Unless someone plonked you into the world of Naruto and said: Here! This is your playground. Go forth and change!

Then yes, it is your right to play god.

Of course, you'd have to be given the appropriate skills too. And the appropriate knowledge. Which is not just the pre-determined timeline, but the effects every single one of your changes would wrought. You wouldn't be a normal person anymore, you'd be a god.

But that's not what happened here.

I'm a normal, if somewhat smarter girl. But most importantly, I'm still human.

Put yourself in my shoes. What would you do?

Me?

I'm just going to worry about myself. Or not-worry. The Uchiha Massacre will come and I will probably die.

I say probably even though it's almost definitely because…well…who wants to believe such a thing?

Hope springs eternal, right?

So I'm just going to worry about myself. And by that I really mean 'myself'. Not 'oh no, it's the time Hinta gets kidnapped! I shall stop it!' (that's in a few months' time) Or even just 'oh look! By happenstance, I see Naruto in the playground that I'm in. Let me befriend him.'

I have spotted Naruto a few times, actually. He's pretty fit for some of the abuse and neglect theories. He's also pretty sad-looking and with his big blue eyes it can be heart-breaking and he hasn't completely mastered the art of turning a deaf ear and pasting a smile on yet. The whole combination of lonely, scared-but-brave orphan child is pretty daunting but…

What's the point?

I don't trust myself to approach him without ulterior motives. I don't trust myself to be his friend just because I feel sorry for him. And even that is a pretty shitty reason to befriend a kid, even one as lonely as Naruto.

Basically, would our friendship be based upon real feelings? Am I befriending Naruto the orphan child with the big blue eyes or am I befriending Naruto the hero of Naruto manga? Or am I making nice with Naruto the jinchuuriki of the kyuubi? Or Naruto the kid who would give you his eternal loyalty with just a small kindness?

Am I doing it before he meets Iruka so that I'll be his first and thus always hold a special place in his heart? Will I take the place of Sasuke, being both an Uchiha and a prodigy, and thus hold an even bigger part of his heart? Will I be his teacher, his lover, his sister, his mother, his rival, his supporter, his leader or 'just' his friend?

See? It's not fair. Not fair to me but especially not fair to him. It's not right for you to know someone's life story without having experienced it with him. It's not just an unfair advantage, it's…

It's not real.

And it's not living a life for me. It's living a lie. I don't want to waste my life like that.

You might argue that meeting him would be by fate since I didn't do it on purpose. But approaching him is.

And if you think about it, Naruto doesn't need me. He survives just fine in canon. He has Iruka-sensei, Sasuke-teme, Sakura-chan, Kakashi-sensei and all the other people in his story. So what purpose would it serve ingratiating myself to him when I wouldn't even compare in sincerity to any of them?

It's not just for his sake, but mine. This is my life. I'm the main character of it. I can't dedicate my whole life to being someone I'm not. To a lie of a relationship.

I'm going to live my life, for me.

It's easy when you think about it. It's just living. Well, living has its difficulties, but dying and being reborn has opened my eyes to the beauty of it. I think that, of all my past experiences, is the one thing that I truly appreciate.

It's 'I'll train and study and learn and play and laugh and cry and eat good food'. It's 'I'll train and study and learn all these things even though I'm going to die before I get to use them because I'm interested'. It's 'this is my life and my life is about me and I want to do things that are for me, about me, and of interest to me'.

It's live, love, and die.

Just like any normal human being in any universe in any world, where the first memories you make are the ones when you open your eyes.

So here it is. It probably sounds like a rant lol. This whole eloquently put rant is the main ethos of my story. How strange that something so serious and deep would birth even 1% crack, huh? I guess that's just my brain. Hahaha.

But this is what I love about writing. The ideas that put these thoughts into me and that make me think deeply and search myself for the truth. Wow, that sounds so elegant. I owe myself a pat on the back.

Another part of writing I love is the laughs I can get. Did you read the Mangekyo section and end up with a shit-eating grin? Well let me tell you, I did the same when I was writing it. I probably split my face with it hahaha. And I most definitely grinned wider than you did. Why? Because I laugh at the scene but I also laugh at the reactions I think they'd incite, and then I get more laughs when the readers review back with all these funny and wonderful ideas and comments. All of you are so great! You keep me writing!

Wow. I'm almost pouring my heart out in this A/N. Hahaha. I'm glad to have gotten into writing. It definitely brightens my day. Getting reviews from all you awesome readers does the same too. And all the 'this update made my shitty day better' or 'this update was a good start to my morning' definitely made my day too. XD

So I guess this is a second rant (though officially recognized because it's in my A/N) and also a thank you. I only started (officially) writing fanfiction about a year and a half ago and the response I got was...heartening. Moving. Whatever that word is that means my heart goes lub-dubdubdub instead of lub-dub. XP

Memory25

P.S.

You have not seen the last of Midori. I realize this sounds like The End but noooooo I'm just getting started! And I already have so many scenes written out!