I think I've been kind of mean to Naruto. I'm sorry, but Midori just doesn't want to take the chance of affecting anything. She just wants to do her thing and die peacefully.
At least, that's what she's telling herself. Eh well. Sorry Naruto.
For a brief moment, Midori entertained the idea of killing the Hokage, taking over the entire Hidden Village through magic and pure desperation, and then setting it on fire so that she can dance gleefully amongst the ashes.
Because really, she never thought she'd have to do so much paperwork in her entire life time. Calculating the allowance Naruto got from the Orphan Fund a hundred and one times simply brought her to the same conclusion again and again: Naruto wasn't getting enough money to cover his expenses.
To be truthful, if he were any other orphan, the sum would probably be just enough, but with the extra calories he needed and the amount of energy he expended each day, it was like pouring a cupful of water into a gaping hole.
In this instance, she believed the term 'a black hole' suited him to a T.
Wondering just where he got this extra energy from, she tried to observe his chakra network discreetly and discovered, to her horror, and overabundance of kyubi chakra mingling with his network.
That was not how the seal was supposed to work.
From some memories of her past life, as well as the basic knowledge she had about chakra exchange/infusions, she knew that it was always important to introduce foreign chakra in scant quantities. No matter how she looked at it, even with four years of this under his belt, Naruto should not be absorbing demonic chakra nearly equal to the total amount in his system. The red had stained the blue so much it was very nearly entirely purple.
That was not, she could not stress it enough, not supposed to happen.
She wondered if the Hokage had even the slightest inkling of the ticking time bomb that he had in his care.
It wasn't so much the danger of the Kyubi overwhelming Naruto with its chakra and forcibly subjugate his will to its own, but the melding of two very different chakras which would form an imbalance that would inevitably…explode.
And then yeah, she'd have her burnt down village to dance in, assuming she survived the blast, of course.
Discreetly getting Naruto an increase was pretty much out of the question. For one, he was under ANBU watch all the time. For another, this was the Orphan Fund—with how many orphans a Hidden Village produced per year, they were the definition of stingy.
Every request had to be filed in triplicate. Every form was attached to another and another and every single one of them required individual verification of identity to be submitted.
By the time she was done with all that, her name was splashed over a mountain of paperwork, and even the administration ninja had come over to observe the conclusion of their bets.
(She demanded half the cut, which she got, because she was awesome like that and she needed something to show for her paper cuts and cramped fingers.)
As it was, you'd think the Hokage would get involved, what with her interfering with the Kyubi Jinchuuriki after all, but nope. The ANBU had split off, half to follow her as she minded Naruto's business, and half to follow the boy himself. She was damned sure that they were double-checking every single form she had submitted, which made the hold-up twice as long, but at least they were suffering as much as she was. No, really, one of them had decided to come out of hiding because he couldn't get enough light to read the stuff in his shadowy corner, and another who had been writing notes was massaging his fingers discreetly.
All of them looked rather put out (if a mask could look put out), and you could hear the paperwork ninja sniggering in the break room.
Of course, it evaporated in a flash when they realized they had to process her request once she was done filling it in. Even for shinobi who'd been doing it for so long, it was still kind of daunting, especially when she had to borrow a trolley to wheel the stacks in. (No, really, she had.) And they had to read every single line in the long, long essay she'd had to write to inform them that, yes, they were starving their Jinchuuriki, and yes, they needed to increase his budget. No, it was the only way. Yes, she was sure. No, she did not include other necessities in her calculation. No, she was not doing more math for them.
And no, she was not paying for it. Nor was the Uchiha clan. Nor was the Hokage. Nor was any other person associated with Uzumaki Naruto. No, they may not take into consideration the discounts from Ichiraku Ramen because it was not an agreed compromise nor would it be unless they were planning to hash out some kind of written contract with Teuchi-san and verify with Uzumaki Naruto that he would eat there X days each week to save money. No, she was not doing their job and teaching him more than she already had and if they wanted her to do it she was demanding recompense. No, she was not obliged because not only was she not a genin, even if she were she would be getting paid for this shit. And they couldn't pay her enough.
Which meant that other than doing the buttload of paperwork to bring this problem to their attention and to the Hokage so he could make sure they didn't ignore it (again, not because of any personal bias but because this was the Orphan Fund: If they could give less money they would), she was not going to do anything more. Nope. No. They couldn't make her. Nanny-nanny-boo-boo.
Immediately after hand delivering both the administration and the financial department of Konoha's Orphan Fund a gigantic headache, she strode out of the huge building, relived ANBU in tow, and bought the biggest chocolate chip, rainbow sprinkle, strawberry topped banana ice-cream split she could afford. Which, given which clan she was from, was really big.
So big she even let the ANBU have some.
Yeah, everyone loved ice-cream.
When she went back, Mom patted her head and smirked, "I heard what you did at the Orphan Fund. That was rather nice of you." And then, without giving her a chance to reply, whisked her to the training grounds and resumed torturing her dearest daughter.
…Sometimes she wished she'd been born into a clan that actually made sense.
Later on, when Shisui arrived to poke at her prone body again, she singed his eyebrows with Hosenka and for real strung him up with wire and spanked him with a handy branch broken off a tree.
When Itachi arrived, he stared. Then he activated his Sharingan. Midori wasn't sure if it was to check for genjutsu or to immortalize the image into his mind. Either way, it had only been last week that Shisui had ambushed him with a rainbow powder bomb that took two days to wash off just before he had a mission, so when Midori rather graciously offered the branch, he took it.
Shisui's howls were loud enough to draw the crowd neither punisher minded observing. (Including the ANBU who rather thought that today was a great day for them, having ice-cream and then entertainment to wash it down with. Shisui's pranks were not limited to the clan.)
All in all, it was a good day.
xXXx
The next day saw Naruto yet again sitting beside her, the entire back row having been cleared of other students in fear that 'nobody' would be pushed off again. Itachi was yet again in his tree, being both confused and suspicious of Midori's sudden goodwill towards…anyone really. He pondered whether he should congratulate or warn the boy.
One might wonder why Sandaime-sama did not see fit to confront or at least approach the young Uchiha girl, but due to certain…tensions between the village and the clan, it was not prudent to show a sudden interest in their only female child. Then again, it wasn't as if he could not observe from his crystal ball, and while his presence was unwelcome, his ANBU were not. Clan politics certainly made the old monkey scratch his head sometimes.
In any case, the girl did not seem to be making an effort to draw closer to the boy, despite having done more for him than a vast majority of the village. The boy himself was oblivious to it, which was just as well he hadn't broached the subject during his daily visit. (Uchiha were remarkably fickle, but one thing he knew for sure was that they didn't like their kindness being exposed. How very tiresome.)
Naruto, on the other hand, was relegating 'Midori-neechan' to last on his list of important people, mainly because she didn't smile at him or look at him nearly as much. The boy had long since come to the conclusion that people who were nice looked at you, while those who ignored you were mean. And Midori-neechan was someone he couldn't quite push to look at him if she didn't want to, which made him pout because she didn't look at him as much as he wanted her to.
Being loud made her ignore him more, being quiet didn't do the opposite, asking her questions worked if he asked only a few and only one at a time. He wasn't sure what to do to make her look at him more! But he was Uzumaki Naruto and he didn't give up, which was why he was going to ask Jii-jii later on.
At least she didn't yell at him when she got angry at him.
"Naruto."
He ducked his head quickly and resumed writing words.
xXXx
A few weeks later—a miraculous feat for the administration department—an acknowledgement was sent to her doorstep stating that a reallocation of funds had been set aside for one Uzumaki Naruto and that additional adjustments have been made to include whatever she didn't calculate. The adjusted value was actually slightly larger than the amount she'd expected, which made her suspect that Hokage-sama had leaned a little on them for their mistake.
Just as well, she shrugged. The Konoha Orphan Fund was largely funded by a small, mandatory cut of every shinobi's wages. Of course, one may opt to increase the percentage and while not many of Uchiha shinobi did so, Uchiha clan had very willingly taken on the lion's share of the burden at the very start by contributing some of their assets as seed money. Since no Uchiha child would ever rely on the Orphan's Fund, it may as well have been an out and out donation, which was extremely rare in this world.
So, if Midori was telling them to give a little more to one potential shinobi, and they'd decided to increase that by a little more too, it was just as well.
Of course, she decided it was time to pay a visit to the mysterious Ichiraku Ramen.
xXXx
Ramen, in truth, was actually pretty delicious. It was, in fact, a very good choice due to the time required to cook as well as the simple and easily obtained ingredients. Almost everyone could make decent Ramen with whatever was at hand, though maybe noodle packets weren't as common on missions. Everything else was though.
If one were to wonder what kind of cultural difference the shinobi world had to her old world, it was easy to look at the variety on the menu of Ichiraku Ramen.
Chicken, Beef, Pork and Shrimp were pretty common, but there was also Rabbit and Venison. Truthfully, Rabbit Ramen was very good.
But as good as Ramen was, it just wasn't enough for a growing boy's diet.
So here she was, giving the chef an impromptu lesson on nutrition. It was actually more like 'please make more vegetables, maybe add some daikon, lighter on the shoyu', etc, etc. There was hemming and hawing and "Oh, I didn't know that!" and "I see, I see".
Ichiraku Teuchi was actually as good a man as Naruto had said. He didn't dismiss her for being a child, and he was always careful not to be condescending. Of course, that may be because of the fan adorning her high collared shirt, but hey, plenty of people seemed to take her youth as ignorance even with it waving in their faces.
But hey, more reason to practise her trapwork, right?
In any case, the old man agreed to watch over Naruto's diet and to do his best to give him as balanced a meal as possible whenever he visited. Which was a lot, so he'd be getting his work cut out for him, but he didn't seem to mind. When he was told Naruto would be getting more allowance and that he could afford a slight increase in price, there was a brief, but vicious bout of haggling, where the old man tried to lower the increase whilst the girl insisted on a bigger one.
There was no doubt as to who would win, since Midori had come armed with facts and more calculation (Naruto owed her so much math homework) and Ichiraku-san was actually dipping slightly below even the cost price to give Naruto the discounts he had been giving. Add the occasional 'Free Ramen Voucher' and he was struggling to keep a respectable profit margin.
Midori wasn't going to do something absurd like offer to pick up the rest of Naruto's tab, or charge his meals to the Uchiha coffers, but she could assure Teuchi-san that Naruto wasn't going to suffer by paying more (she'd even brought the letter from the Fund as proof). It was just an old man's grandfatherly worry and indulgence that stood in the way. After all, Naruto could spend the leftover on something nice for himself if he paid less at Ichiraku, right?
Either way, sentimentality bowed in the face of logic, as well as the slight danger that Ichiraku Ramen might close down if this continued for years—which she knew would happen. And then what would happen to poor Naruto?
When they finally agreed and she'd gotten the chef to promise not to tell Naruto about this whole 'thing'—there is no 'thing', I didn't do a 'thing', I've never seen you before in my entire life—she went back to the clan compound, not merrily, but satisfied with her conscience.
Whatever Naruto would grow up into, it was in his own hands now.
xXXx
Naruto sulked. Midori-neechan—no, Midori-baka—had told him to leave her alone now that he could read and write by himself. She told him that she was too busy with her own things to help him and that he should go to classes more suit-a-ble for his age. She didn't even look at him anymore!
He didn't know what he did wrong, and Jii-jii had told him that girl's liked flowers so he'd went and gathered a bunch from the field to give to her but he couldn't find her anywhere. He'd wanted to bring them the next day but they'd all started turning brown and ugly which wouldn't make anyone happy so he'd had to look for more. But he'd picked all the prettiest flowers from the field already and he couldn't find more and it wasn't fair he didn't know what to do.
Jii-jii told him that Midori-neechan didn't hate him, but he didn't say she liked him either, and he didn't tell him what to do so that she would. He looked con-fused too so he was no help. Teuchi-jii-san didn't know either, although he looked sad too and told him not to cry.
He wasn't crying. He was a big boy! Midori-neechan didn't hate him, she told him she was busy!
Maybe he'd talk to her when she wasn't studying and she'd talk to him again. He'd be quiet and o-be-dient and everything!
Naruto rubbed his eyes dry and sniffled into his sleeve before sitting straight and ordering another bowl. Midori-neechan said not to order more than one except when he really really wanted it and not if he didn't have enough left for until Sunday but today was different and he really really wanted another bowl.
If saltwater fell into the bowl as he slurped, it was just something in his eye that's all.
I've always loved the idea of strangers touching a person's life. What would seem like a small gesture from somebody could be such a big thing to another. It's kind of incredible and yeah. Midori doesn't think she's doing much, although the paperwork was tiresome and she really shouldn't have had to go through all that trouble because SOMEONE was supposed to be watching him! And she limits her charity as much as possible because she doesn't want to get too attached. And she cut Naruto off so abruptly because she didn't want things to progress.
She's being selfish, yep. She's also overthinking on the plot and the influencing Naruto and the everything. And she's dreading the Massacre, so she doesn't want to deal with more than what's already on her plate.
Poor Naruto. Poor Midori.
Ah well. Let's see what happens next, huh? There's still a couple years before Doomsday. ^^
Memory25