New Meanings To Old Words: Love
First off, let me apologize for the lengthy wait for this chapter. She and I were having this all out war for a bit…but….
Part 3… a lovely little thing called Barn-mageddon's 'bout to go down. God bless each and every one of you, new and old, for sticking with me as long as you have. I love you all…but then, you know that by now. Not much else to say accept, on with the mufuckinshow.
As always read, review, and most of all enjoy!
~michelle
Disclaimer: I own nothing, except Callie and the crew of misfits (Danny, Miles, Jenna, Mike, Nina, Ben and Gracie).
God & Guns
Callie let her thumb slip over the raised letters and numbers on the gold badge, the flash of sun overhead glinting off the metal causing her to have to close her eyes for a second. And in that brief second, her mind flashed back to the look on Daryl's face when he handed the damn thing to her.
Callie had been working her way over to where Miles was standing with Gracie near the Hummer waiting for her. The bags she'd asked the boy to get were slung over his shoulder along with his bat, and his other hand was being held by the little girl. The little girl who had refused to lift her eyes from the ground since they'd exited the RV moments ago. Callie's gaze had been settled on the barn in the distance, the stalking figure of Shane easily discernible. And she'd been so intently watching as Rick's lean figure headed slowly down the hill that she'd flinched when Daryl's warm calloused hand settled roughly around her arm.
Daryl's hand had tightened for a single moment as her eyes snapped to him, and then loosened as their eyes met. They stood in silence for a few seconds, the sounds of the bustling, slightly perturbed camp around them falling into the background. Daryl's piercing gaze was as unreadable as ever as his mouth twitched a few times. He was apparently searching for the words he wanted to say, just as she was, and for the first time in their entire time knowing one another neither of them could apparently figure out what the fuck those words were.
Fuck, they couldn't even come up with any sarcastic remarks to break the ice with.
"I'm takin' Gracie with me," Callie had said after another few seconds of ridiculous silence, and immediately she closed her eyes and shook her head at herself earning a gruff grunt from the man still holding her arm. Daryl's grip had tightened and when her eyes popped back open she saw he was looking towards Gracie and Miles.
"Figured that," Daryl huffed out, his mouth twitching to the side. It was obvious the man wasn't in agreement with her decision, it was written all over his tight features and in his eyes when they slipped back to her. Callie stared into those hard blue eyes of his and waited. Waited for him to tell her just how fucking stupid she was being, to tell her to stay with him, to tell her that he'd come with her. Because he could have, if he wanted to.
Daryl's eyes fell to where his hand had slipped down to her wrist and he stared. His thumb slipped down so that it smoothed over her still healing sliced palm, the inflamed redness of the slightly infected wound pulsing beneath the bandage over it. He gently moved his thumb over the bandage and she watched his shoulders lift and fall three times.
"Daryl—" Callie began but was cut off by him moving his thumb away and placing something into her hand. Her mouth had snapped shut as she watched him curl her fingers around the gold badge. His thumb resettled over the raised numbers and letters and pressed the badge a bit harder than necessary into her hand, making sure she would hold it when his hand slipped away.
"Take it," Daryl muttered, his eyes slipping over his shoulder to where Gracie was standing still staring at the ground. Callie's eyes slipped down to where Daryl's hand still pressed the badge into her palm and just as she moved to entwine their fingers he pulled away. That hand that had been on hers raked through his hair, and she watched as a myriad of emotions that he apparently couldn't work up enough self-restraint to control marched across his handsome, beaten and bruised face. He ran his thumb across his split bottom lip and looked up at her.
Again silence slipped between them. And again Callie struggled to find the words. No that wasn't true. She knew exactly what fucking words she wanted to tell him. Three simple words. Come with me. I need you.
I love you.
But nothing made it out. Instead she clenched her jaw and continued to try and read whatever thoughts were working their way through his head. Tried to decipher the indecipherable man. She wondered if Daryl held the same worry that Rick had. About Shane trying something stupid. About her. Three slow breaths later she stepped away from him and felt his heated stare on her shoulders as she slipped the badge into her back pocket and grabbed for Gracie's outstretched hand. Miles had spared a look back at Daryl, and opened his mouth to say something but Callie had shaken her head at the boy and he simply sighed and followed behind her and Gracie.
Hours had passed since that moment, and yet Callie still felt as if she'd made a mistake in walking away from him. Fiddling with the badge in her hand she couldn't help but feel the meaning behind it. It had been Gracie's talisman since the CDC, and Daryl's since the highway. And now it was hers.
Again her thumb stumbled over the raised numbers and letters along the surface and she bit at the inside of her cheek. A shadow fell over the badge in her hand and she shifted her gaze up a bit to where Gracie sat on the grass in front of her. The little girl's baby-fine brown curls were blowing in the light breeze across her cherubic face, but still those piercing blue eyes burned through into Callie's heart. A small smile tilted Callie's lips and she leaned forward a bit in her own seated position in the sunny field. Gracie's eyes followed Callie's hand as she extended the badge out to the little girl.
"You want it back, Gracie-girl?" Callie asked sliding forward just a bit and extending the badge further out on her upturned palm. Gracie's head shook and her little hand shot out pushing and curling Callie's fingers back around the badge. A small little smile slipped onto the little girl's face as she looked up at Callie.
Callie sighed and tucked the badge into her hand, lifting her closed fist towards her chest. Her eyes skipped to Gracie's hands, the tiny fingers fiddling with the switchblade that was so horrid a sight against the pale fading yellow of the little girl's sundress. Callie shifted a bit, dragging her one leg up so that she could rest her elbow on her knee before leaning forward and tapping the little girl's knee to get her attention again.
"That was Jenna's," Callie said quietly watching Gracie dip her head back down to look at the knife. "Now it's yours. You carry that everywhere," Callie dipped her head a bit to catch the little girl's eyes. "Show me again."
Callie sat back and watched the tiny hands of the child before her expertly flip the switch to extend the blade. Gracie shifted the knife in her hands feeling the hilt with her fingers, her eyes taking in the sun glinting off the blade with a keen interest.
"We're all set up Cal," Miles called out, his shadow falling over the spot where Callie and Gracie sat. Callie nodded up at him and then shifted to her feet snapping a finger at Gracie who slowly worked the blade back into place. Gracie got to her feet and tucked the knife into her new, well-fit pair of boots. In the same exact place that Callie had told Ben to always keep his knife. Gracie's eyes skimmed over Callie and then to Miles as she grabbed onto Callie's outstretched hand and walked with her. "You sure about this?" Miles asked as he watched the two as they approached him.
"I'm sure it needs to happen sooner rather than later," Callie said quietly as she put Gracie in front of her. She shifted her eyes to the side where the lanky young man stood staring at her with a raised brow. Callie shook her head at him and waved her hand away. "Keep eyes on things. I'd rather not be caught off guard again," Callie said quietly and Miles simply nodded turning and shifting so that he could look out across the rolling field.
Callie shifted down to her one knee beside Gracie and put her hand to the small of her back, extricating the small gun that she'd settled there earlier. Miles dropped the bag full of ammo beside her and gave Gracie a bit of a smile, his hand ruffling her hair as he moved on to pace the area. Callie shifted the gun to the little girl and took a very deep breath.
"A'right, Gracie-girl," Callie said slowly extending the gun. "Let's get a bit of practice in, hmmm?" Callie watched Gracie's eyes widen just a bit, those blue orbs shining at her as she caught her gaze for a second. Callie shifted behind the little girl, settling her firmly against in her kneeling position.
Callie's eyes slipped out before them as she put the gun to Gracie's tiny hands, her own hands dwarfing them as they sat atop the small black six-shooter that they'd confiscated from Carl days ago. The gun was small enough that it didn't look completely ridiculous in the little girl's hands, yet still the sight of her tiny fingers curled around the butt had a shiver running down Callie's spine. And the kickback of the first shot that Gracie fired bounced through bone, muscle and nerve endings until it landed in a heap atop that hard heavy weight in Callie's stomach.
Callie's eyes shifted to Miles briefly, catching the younger man's frowning nod before he turned away to scout the area. Three deep breaths and a reassuring smile to the four-year-old holding the gun before her and they fired again.
"So how long are we gonna do this?" Miles asked quietly as he shifted on his feet. Callie slipped her hands off of Gracie's and closed her eyes for a moment before shifting her eyes to the waiting boy.
"Not too long," Callie said tiredly, shifting her attention back to the little girl who was staring at her. Callie shifted Gracie's face forward and worked her hands to where Gracie was cradling the gun. "I figure we get a little practice in, then head back to the farm. We can drop Gracie off with Danny and Daryl," Callie shifted and sighed as she looked back over to the now slightly smirking Miles. "We'll drop her off and then head back to the ravine and start lookin' for Sophia from there again."
"You don't got to," Gracie's tiny voice slipped into Callie's ears and both she and Miles turned wide eyes to the little girl staring at her shoes again. Callie slipped the small six-shooter into her hands as she turned Gracie to face her, and she caught Miles in her periphery as he moved towards them.
"What's that Gracie-girl?" Callie said, putting a shaking hand to the little girl's tiny shoulder. Callie quickly glanced at Miles now crouched down beside her and then back to Gracie, her chin dipping to her chest as she worked to catch Gracie's down turned gaze. "Baby what did you say?"
"I thought she was playin', hide 'an go seek," Gracie's tiny little voice sounded again and a ragged breath left Callie. A breath that then stuck somewhere in her chest as the words the girl was saying started to piece together.
"Oh God," Callie said, her hand clenching tight on Gracie's shoulder, finally causing the little girl's gaze to lift to her. "Gracie—"
"S'why I froze up," Gracie continued, her eyes shining with unshed tears. Her little mouth formed a grimace of such sorrow that her bottom lip began to tremble along with the rest of her. "I thought she was playin' a game. Thought-" Gracie's head began to shake and a single tear rolled down her cheek as chin dipped to her chest. Callie's grip tightened on her shoulders and she pulled the little girl towards her. Gracie dug in her feet and shook her head, staring hard at Callie. "But then I 'membered, Glenn said the barn's full of Walkers. She wouldn't be playin' in there."
"Jesus," Miles seethed out from beside Callie as he clamored to his feet. Both of his hands raked through his hair as he stared down at them and his breathing heavy and harsh.
"You ain't gotta go look for her, Callie." Gracie said sniffling as her bottom lip trembled again. "Sophia's in the barn."
Callie's hands fell and wrapped around Gracie as she shoved her face into Callie's waiting chest. The little girl's body shook with each shuddering breath she took in, her tears instantly wetting Callie's shirt. Callie blinked away the tears in her own eyes and let her hands lift to hold Gracie's head to her. Her eyes shifted up to the sky for a moment and then over to where Miles was staring at them, the look on his face probably a mirror to her own lost expression.
"Callie," Miles began in a quavering voice, his hands falling from his hair.
"We need to get back," Callie said cutting off whatever else he was going to say. "Now."
A deep heavy silence clung to the heated air of the swampy woods. No birds were chirping. No breeze was blowing. There was nothing but the harsh ragged breathing of three men who were standing on the precipice of insanity.
Dangling along the edge of a cliff that couldn't hold all of them. Not anymore.
"Danny," Dale's voice reached out from some great distance. It echoed as if the older man stood at the end of a long cavern rather than four feet away with his back against a mossy tree.
Danny's eyes wanted to slide to Dale, wanted to reassure the older man that things would be okay. That he was okay. But he just couldn't muster the strength to do it. He heard Dale call out his name again, the blood pounding between his ears making this call more muffled than the last. A single bead of sweat trailed down the side of Danny's face, tickling the already alive nerves in his body and causing his head to shift spasmodically along his shoulders in an effort to remove the odd sensation.
Danny stared at the back of Shane's head, his gun pressed so tightly into that shaved surface that the skin rippled around the barrel. He took in the tension riding the man's stiff bulky shoulders. Watched the barrel of the rifle—Dale's fuckin' rifle- shift just a bit into view as Shane no doubt began to wrestle with the idea of some sort of retaliatory action. Danny pressed just a bit harder into the back of Shane's skull and the rifle moved so that it was held by one hand out away from Shane's body completely.
Again, Dale shifted and again he heard his name in that tunnel, but another voice boomed louder. Another voice echoed over Dale's calming tone. Danny's own voice, echoing low in the back of his brain reminding him of all the trouble that Shane had caused with his idiocy. Telling him that he should just end the man's suffering for him, since obviously killing him was what it would take to stop him from flying over that cliff-edge that they all sat upon.
Shane shifted the rifle in his hands and lowered the butt end to the ground slowly, his fingers peeled away from the barrel and the rifle fell to the ground. Danny's eyes slipped very quickly to watch Dale shuffle forward and retrieve it, before returning his glare to the barrel of his gun and that shaved head rippled under the pressure he was exerting.
"This is the second time you put a gun to my head, Danny-boy," Shane said in a seething caustic tone through what Danny could imagine to be a smirking set of lips snarled back over a tightly clenched teeth. Danny's finger twitched just a bit on the trigger and finally his eyes slipped to Dale's. The older man's eyes widened in fear as he again shook his head and tried to plead with Danny to step back. Shane's head shifted just a bit so that Danny caught the sideways glance that the man shot him as he limped forward just a bit more. "I hope for your sake you fuckin' loaded it this time."
Danny felt his eye twitch as he stared at Shane. Disgust at the man at the end of his gun's barrel settled deep in his chest and burned a path upwards. Swallowing the harsh metallic taste of his own bile Danny shifted his hand just a bit on his gun and slipped his body just a bit away from Shane.
"No worries, Shane," Danny said, his voice still gravely as it burned out of his throat. "I ain't the type to make the same mistake twice. Not anymore."
"Good for you, Danny-boy," Shane muttered as he pressed his head back against the barrel of Danny's gun. "Now show some balls for once and put some muscle behind them words you like to spout off. Or do you need Callie here to do it for you." Shane's head shifted side to side as Danny pressed harder but still didn't fire, the chuckle falling from Shane's lips raking over Danny's shot nerves and making his finger twitch again.
"Danny-" Again Dale's voice sounded and again it was overpowered by the pull of Shane's scornful muttering.
"I swear to God it does amaze me that she is the only other person in this fuckin' group that seems to not only understand what needs to be done, but how to fuckin' follow through with it." Shane said again shifting his eyes to the side to regard Danny's hate-filled expression. "You ain't gonna shoot me Danny. You ain't got it in you. You ain't the type."
"You don't know a damn thing about the type of man I am, Shane." Danny seethed pressing his gun forward and putting his lips so close to Shane's ear that Shane actually flinched away. Dale slipped forward both hands up in the air as he settled near Danny's side. A whispered plea from the old man went ignored as Danny's gun pressed harder. "You don't know a damn thing, but what I let you know. You think Callie's the only one who's taken another person's life in this shit hole of a new world? You really think that?" Danny snarled at Shane's slightly widened eyes. "You really think I won't pull this trigger, Shane." Danny shifted away from Dale and slid so that he now stood before Shane, the barrel of his gun pressed hard into Shane's forehead. "Look me in the eyes and tell me I ain't got it in me, boy-o."
Shane was silent as he stared hard into Danny's face. It was shocking to watch the former deputy come to grips with the side of Danny he'd never allowed himself to see before. Dale was shifting his worried gaze between them, his hands at half-mast as a ragged breath of some kind of disappointment slipped between his lips. A sound that had Danny blinking and finally breaking eye contact with Shane. Danny met Dale's eyes, watched the older man's head shake, and finally felt that bit of disappointment that he'd garnered in a man he respected. Felt it like a blow to the head. It was that small shake of Dale's head and the shining unshed tears in the older man's eyes that had Danny's gun moving from its position against Shane's head.
Another heavy beat of silence.
"Take your guns and go," Danny said lowering his gun fully to his side and staring hard up at Shane. Shane stood still, shock edging over the slight fear that had filtered onto his face. Danny's chin dipped to his chest and he stepped out of the way to Dale's side, feeling the older man put a hand to his shoulder and squeeze just once. "Go on," Danny spat his gun hand flying out in an arc towards the bag settled near the base of the tree.
"Now Danny," Dale said calmly his hand patting Danny's tense shoulders now. "Let's think-"
"No, Dale," Danny said shaking his head and glaring at his friend. "I'm fuckin' tired of babysitting this asshole. I'm tired of playing Jiminy fuckin' Cricket to a man that doesn't want it. Doesn't appreciate it-"
"I don't need you playin-"
"Fuck you," Danny spat at Shane cutting him off as he swung his angered glare back up to him. His gun hand arced out again towards the bag of guns. "Fuck you. I been watchin' your ass let this world get the best of you. I've watched and I've tried to keep you from headin' down that road. At the Quarry. At the fuckin' CDC. But I can't do it anymore, man." Danny shook his head and shook away from Dale's hand on his arm as he advanced forward. "You see I can brush aside the idiocy you showed at the CDC with Lori," Danny seethed as Shane glared and stepped back. "I can let that go, because Lori did. I can even set aside what happened with Otis," Danny said shrugging his shoulder as Shane's mouth contorted. Danny sneered and nodded at Shane's shock. "Yeah, man I can. I didn't know him. And honestly, Carl's alive." Danny shrugged. "That's the world we live in now, right, Shane? Eat or be eaten. Kill or be killed."
"Danny," Dale again distraught now and that voice tore a bit at Danny's resolve.
"I can excuse the way you've been actin'," Danny continued again shaking off Dale's grasp. "Understand the strain you've put yourself under. The pressure that's pushin' on you. But I will never excuse you threatenin' my family." Danny's hand arced back and waved at Dale over his shoulder. The older man's mouth firmed into a line and he lowered his eyes to the ground for a moment before meeting Danny's eye and then Shane's. "So congrats, dumbfuck," Danny shifted away from Shane and tucked his gun into his waistband at the small of his back. "I'm done. You wanna take that trip down the rabbit-hole man, that's all you. Have fun. Send me a fuckin' postcard."
Silence shifted around the small area again, Shane's eyes shifting between Danny and Dale as they stood shoulder to shoulder. His eyes skipped away as his mouth twitched to the side and then his hand raked over his shaved head, pulling the sweat from his brow. Shane's eyes shifted away from Danny and Danny's chin again dipped to his chest as he watched the man eye the bag of guns on the ground.
"Go on," Danny said in a much calmer tone that again had Shane's eyes lifting to him as he stepped towards the bag. "Take 'em. Do what you want. See how the chips fall. I'm done with you." Danny looked to Dale and watched Dale's head nod in reluctant agreement with his words.
Shane shifted away quickly, his arm reaching out and scooping up the bag on the ground. He glared at Danny and Dale in disgust as he shouldered the bag, his eyes roving Danny from head to toe as his lips pulled back in a harsh sneer. Danny's head remained dipped low to his chest, his eyes regarding a man he'd once respected through the veil of his lashes, causing the image to become dark and distorted. Fitting for who and what Shane was now.
"You're a fuckin' fool," Shane seethed at Danny as he stepped forward. His eyes skipped to Dale and he snarled a bit more. "You both are. Thinkin' I need you to babysit me, need you to be my conscience. My fuckin' conscience is clear. I'm doin' what needs to be done here," Shane seethed his chin jutting forward with the force of his words. "It's you two that need the babysitter. You and the rest of these idiots walkin' 'round thinkin' that those Walkers ain't a problem." Shane stepped away again and turned to leave, his head shaking as he took two steps and then turned back to face them. "And that's the real difference I guess," Shane said shaking his head as he backed up a couple steps. "I know what it takes to survive in this world."
"You're right Shane," Dale said again placing a hand to Danny's stiff shoulder. "You belong in this world. And I know that I may not have what it takes to last long. Maybe neither of us really do," Dale's eyes skipped to where Danny had shifted to look at him and then back to Shane. Again a reassuring squeeze that had Danny's eyes staying on Dale's face as he calmly spoke to the glaring Shane. "But at least we can both say that when the world went to shit, we didn't let it take us down with it."
Shane scoffed and adjusted the bag of guns on his shoulder, sparing one last glare at Danny.
"You put a gun to my head again, Danny-boy. You best be sure to pull that fuckin' trigger." Shane seethed out pushing a single finger towards him. Danny simply glared back, his jaw clenched so tight he thought for sure he would break his teeth from the pressure.
Shane spat at the ground before he stalked off into the woods; back towards the farm. Back to exact his brand of justice upon the world. His brand of leadership upon the land. Danny's eyes fell from the spot that Shane had occupied and both hands shot up to his head, pulling at his grown out hair roughly as he let out a ragged breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.
"Jesus," Dale's voice echoed around the area and Danny's eyes skipped over to him for a beat before again sliding to the ground. Dale's hand again landed on Danny's shoulder and he squeezed tightly giving a single shake. "I thought you were going to—"
"I was," Danny said to the ground, feeling Dale's hand still on his shoulders. Danny's head fell a bit more, his chin touching off of his chest as his hands slid out of his hair. They were shaking as they fell into his view, each finger pulsing with unhinged nervous energy. He stared at them for a few moments more before blinking hard and clenching them tight.
"It's alright, son," Dale said quietly near Danny's ear. Dale again gave a friendly squeeze to Danny's shoulder and this time Danny shook him off. Shook himself away from that friendly reassuring gesture that he didn't deserve. His head began to shake even as Dale opened his mouth to no doubt say something kind. Something he didn't deserve to hear.
Danny shifted, wincing only slightly as he stepped backwards away from Dale. He clenched his hands into fists and raised his eyes and head to regard Dale with a look that he was sure was as lost as he was currently feeling. Dale's head tipped to the side, his mouth stuck in a grimacing frown, his words halting on his lips. Danny's head shook again and he let his gaze roam around them.
"I need to get out of here," Danny said feeling his head continue to shake as he backed away from Dale and his reaching arms. "No," Danny said raising his own hands to deflect that gesture. "I can't go back there. I can't. Not now, Dale." Danny's eyes shifted around him. "I'm goin' for a walk."
"Danny," Dale's voice called out but Danny turned his back on him and began walking. His arms lifted and he waved away Dale, knowing that the man was worried about his safety.
"I'll be back, Dale," Danny turned half-way catching Dale's eye and gave a small sad smile. "I will. I just need some time to myself. I just-"
"Be careful," Dale said shifting his rifle on his shoulder as he frowned at Danny. He raised a single hand palm out and stopped Danny's apparently unnecessary explanations. "Just be careful, son."
Danny nodded and then shifted on his feet to head off towards where he knew the road to the Greene's farm lay. He didn't spare a look over his shoulder as he walked, but he could feel Dale's worried eyes following him as he walked.
The sounds of the two Walkers growling and hissing from their imprisonment along the silt covered banks of that small creek bed had Rick's stomach churning as he followed behind Hershel and Jimmy. His mind slipped slowly back to when he'd come into the man's house two hours ago in an effort to have a discussion that he'd been avoiding. A discussion that he'd been a fool to think he could avoid.
Especially after Callie had handed him all of the information he'd needed to have it.
Danny had been in there with Hershel, seated at the table Rick's eyes settled upon the older man as he read from his Bible. Danny's hands had been idly scribbling into the front of a book himself, and it was only as Rick settled a hand to the back of Danny's chair that Rick realized it was another Bible. Smaller, less ornate than the one that Hershel had glanced up from and pierced Rick with a look that spoke volumes. Danny had slipped his Bible closed and muttered a single phrase as Hershel continued to glare at Rick.
"He that answereth a matter before he heareht it, it is folly and shame unto him." Danny had smirked lightly up at Rick as he furrowed his brow and then looked back to Hershel as he patted his hand atop the Bible he'd been scribbling in.
"Proverbs," Hershel said in a tired tone, a small almost imperceptible smile on his face. "Really? We're back to that are we?"
"Try, try again, right?" Danny said smiling. Danny's gaze had slipped to Rick at that point, and Rick's brow had lifted as he realized Danny had apparently been working to appeal to a side of Hershel that Rick just couldn't. "Do you want me to stay?" Danny had asked Rick, his brow lifting in a manner that said very clearly what the younger man was thinking. 'You are obviously in over your head-out of your depth and I am offering to bridge that gap.'
Rick had shaken his head, his eyes sliding back to Hershel and holding the older man's gaze. Danny had nodded and got to his feet, his Bible in hand and his pen between his teeth as he smiled widely at Hershel while he smacked Rick on the shoulder.
"Thank you for lettin' me sit with you, Hershel." Danny mumbled as his pen bobbed around in his mouth.
"I wasn't really given much choice," Hershel responded.
"Don't let him fool you Rick," Danny had said squeezing Rick's shoulder as he shuffled and limped towards the door. "Man loves bein' irritated." Danny caught Rick's gaze then and nodded once. "I'll be 'round near the RV, keepin' watch, if you need me."
Rick had again nodded his thanks and cupped his hand over his mouth as his eyes shifted back to the still seated patriarch of the farm. Hershel's hands had settled on either side of his large Bible and he stared back intently at Rick. The staring match went on longer than either man had probably expected, time ticking away on a small clock on the wall behind them. Rick's fingers hand scratched at his cheeks until he was sure the skin was raw and red and then finally he had dropped his hand and put both hands to his hips.
"About this mornin'-"
"I don't want to talk about this mornin'," Rick said immediately cutting off the elder man's statement. "We don't need to talk about this mornin'," Rick continued, his tone a bit more harsh than he'd really wanted it to be. He'd snarled a bit at himself, his eyes slipping to the floorboards for a moment before once again sliding back up to the now annoyed man glaring at him. "We need to talk about the barn."
"Hershel," Jimmy's voice had cut off whatever response Hershel would have had at that point, but it didn't garner either man's attention. "It's happened again. I –" The boy had looked between the Rick and Hershel still glaring at one another and fumbled forward a bit. "You told me to tell you."
There had been a heavy silence in the room, and again that clock ticked loudly between Rick's ears. Each second that ticked by another moment of wasted time. Rick had held his jaw clenched tight as Hershel continued to stare at him long after Jimmy had stopped talking. The older man had stared, and to Rick, it seemed like he was trying to read him. Tryin' to gauge what type of person he was.
"How much do you want to stay on this farm, Rick?" Hershel had said finally, his hands slipping off of the table as he pushed to his feet. Rick had clenched his jaw against his almost immediate want to be honest, his want to tell the man that he just didn't know the answer to that question. He clenched his jaw tight and let his eyes slide to where Jimmy was waiting in the doorway, wide-eyed and nervous. A fact that had made Rick uneasy at the time.
And now, standing where he stood, staring at what he was staring at he was more than uneasy. He was anxious and uncomfortable, and finally coming to terms with exactly what Callie had been trying to tell him atop that RV last night, hell the past few days since Jenna's passing. Her worries about Hershel and the farm; things he'd set aside as he worked to convince himself that this place could be the answer to all of their problems.
He was uneasy, anxious, and wishing he had asked Danny-or hell Callie for that matter- to come along because damn if Rick wasn't in completely over his head with this one.
"That's Lou Bush," Hershel's calm voice echoed through Rick's ears as he stared at the two figures snapping and snarling from the small creek bed. Rick's eyes shifted away from the two Walkers as he followed behind Hershel and Jimmy and cleared his throat as he shook his head.
"You knew him?" Rick asked, his voice still a bit more hoarse than he would have liked. Hershel sent a look over his shoulder as they trudged through the brush towards the two Walkers.
"Lou as in Louise," Hershel responded, and Rick's eyes slipped back to the Walkers. The woman, what was left of her, was a graying decayed corpse with hair hanging limp over the half of a face she still had. Her thin arms were reaching wildly for Jimmy standing on the nearby bank. Rick held back his disgust as well as he could, the muscles in his jaw clenching tight over and over as he continued forward. Hershel waved a hand out at the Walkers and continued. "She has a farm up the road," the older man said in such a conversational tone that Rick's eyes skipped away from the Walkers and over to him. He knew his brow was furrowed in confusion and there wasn't a damn thing he could do to fix that.
This man, this doctor, was the first person he'd actually come across in what was left of the world to speak of Walkers in such a way. It was…disturbing.
"She worked at the bar in town on the weekends," Hershel said as they came to stop not far away from the two clawing Walkers. "Don't know the man, but I've been to the garage on his overalls." Hershel continued to stare at the two Walkers, and Rick continued to stare at Hershel, the growling of the two 'people' an eerie backdrop to the entire conversation. "How many have you killed?"
"Too many to count," Rick said after a beat, his eyes switching back to the two Walkers.
"Can you stop?" Hershel asked quietly, his gaze intently boring into the side of Rick's face. The older man's eyes skipped to where Jimmy stood, the boy's head bowed in a submissive sort of way as Hershel's head nodded. "There are people out there who haven't been in their right minds. People who I believe can be restored."
"You aren't talking about the Walkers," Rick said shifting his eyes from Jimmy back to Hershel. "Are you? You mean us?"
"I've spoken to Callie at length about her feelings on what's going on here. I understand her feelings, I understand her guilt. I believe she is a good person who was lost her belief and has paid dearly for it. A person who continues to do penance for things out of her control." Hershel's head was nodding as he spoke and again Rick was struck with just how much he'd let Callie shoulder for him at this farm. "The way it stands is thus," Hershel continued pointing a finger at the Walkers, the woman he'd known as Lou. "It doesn't matter if you see them as human beings anymore, but if you," Hershel caught Rick's gaze. "And your people are going to stay here, on my farm, that's how you will treat them." Hershel's head shook just a bit his hand falling limp at his side. "Callie was going to leave with Jenna," Hershel said quietly causing Rick's brow to furrow as he met the older man's steady sincere gaze. "You may have to give up more than just your current way of thinking if you choose to stay on at this farm. You should understand that."
Rick felt his mouth drift open, his mind working a mile a minute at the truth in Hershel's words. Callie had been pushing even before this morning at the barn for them to find a nearby farm to set up camp in for the winter. She'd been pushing for them to stay close for Sophia, but to find their own place. Because she'd known. Maybe not full extent of the truth of the Walkers in the barn, but she'd seen exactly what staying meant. Figured it out long before Rick had even decided to look at the possibility. Hershel's words, about Callie leaving with Jenna struck a chord deep in Rick's chest.
Knowing that this decision could break their group apart sat heavily on his shoulders. His eyes skipped back to the two Walkers in the silt, and the boy who had shot one of their own in a misguided attempt to 'help' that stood nearby.
His mind reeled back to Carl, who could have died had they been any further from this farm than they were when he got shot. To Lori, who was carrying a child-his child- and if they moved on, even if it was at a farm nearby- maybe Lou Bush's. It may not be close enough when the time came for her to deliver.
"You have to give me time to talk to them," Rick said, his tongue feeling heavy and thick in his mouth as he worked the words out. A sick sort of feeling welled in the back of his throat and he swallowed it down as he looked back to Hershel.
"My farm. My barn. My say," Hershel said quietly eyeing Rick closely. "There's no wiggle room here, Rick."
Rick nodded and watched Hershel step towards the waiting Jimmy. He stood back and watched them expertly maneuver the lead around the female Walker, Rick shook his head and snarled a bit-Lou Bush's head -and onto her neck. Again he felt that acrid taste in the back of his throat and again he swallowed it as his hands came to rest heavily upon his hips. His eyes shifted down to where his hands sat on his pants, the feeling of his missing holster making him feel a bit more naked out here in the woods than anything else.
"A'right, Rick," Hershel's slightly labored voice sounded and Rick's eyes lifted to see the man working towards him with Lou Bush on the lead. Following him like the animal that she was now. Rick sniffed back his distaste and side-stepped the woman's reaching arms as Hershel moved past him. "Your turn."
Rick's eyes slipped over to where Jimmy was standing, the boy's hands shaking slightly as he held out the second lead. Rick's gaze shifted back to Hershel for a moment before he started walking. His hand reached out and took hold of the lead, his eyes boring holes into Jimmy's before his attention again shifted.
"How many times have you done this?" Rick asked as he rolled his eyes to where Hershel stood with the still clawing woman at the end of his lead. "How many are in that barn?"
Silence followed Rick's question. A silence that hung heavier than the idea of calling the Walkers people. A silence that spoke volumes and answered his question more clearly than any words could have.
"You don't know, do you?" Rick asked almost incredulously as he half-turned from Jimmy. His eyes shifted between Hershel and the boy staring at him with a confused and worried look in his eyes. The same look that Rick remembered seeing on the boy's face when Callie had asked him to take them to where he left Jenna. "Jesus…"
"Otis put most of them inside, after-" Hershel cut himself off, his watering eyes shifting away briefly before lifting again to pierce Rick with an angered gaze. "We've only put two others in since his death. And I apologize but I did not do a headcount while doing it."
"Maybe you should've," Rick muttered shaking his head and looking back to Jimmy. He snatched the lead away from the boy and glared. "What happens when the barn gets full?"
"That's my problem-"
"It's all of our problem," Rick said quietly and forcefully as he worked towards the man still struggling in the silt for his meal. "No matter if we're camped out on your lawn, or if we take ourselves off your land to a nearby farm. If that many," he looked over his shoulder to Hershel and stared hard. "If that many people get out, it's everyone's problem. You should understand that."
Daryl squinted in the bright sunlight overhead as he slowly made his way towards the porch of the farmhouse where he could see Ben sitting with Carl in the dirt at the bottom of the stairs in front of Maggie and Glenn. Between the boys were a bunch of cans and some string. Daryl's brow furrowed a bit more before Ben raised a smile and a wave that had him nodding and looking away. His eyes shifted down towards the barn and he snarled a bit at the sight of Andrea and T-Dog heading up from where they'd been standing guard. Shifting his eyes sideways he looked towards the grassy field beyond, wondering how long Callie was gonna be out there with Gracie and Miles.
Hopin' it wasn't much longer.
"She's fine," Carol's voice from behind him rolled over his tense shoulders and had him shifting to watch her struggle to keep up with his quickened pace. She gave him a tight smile that he shrugged off as he slowed to let her catch up. His eyes roamed back to Andrea and T-Dog, his mouth twitching slightly at their hurried pace.
"What the hell?" Daryl asked as he glared at the assembled group, his eyes slipping to Andrea and T-Dog as they came to a stop near where Glenn and Maggie were now standing. "Thought y'all were goin' out. Where's Rick?"
"He went out with Hershel a couple of hours ago," Andrea said putting her hands to her hips as she shifted her eyes between everyone and then back to Daryl. "He's not back yet?"
"Fuck, people," Daryl growled catching sight of Carol as she shifted towards the porch where Beth and Patricia were now staring down at them. "Ain't no one takin' this seriously? We got us a trail," Daryl's hand arced out towards the fields and he spotted Shane coming in the distance.
"Callie's out there," Glenn started, his eyes shifting from Maggie to where Daryl was now glaring at him.
"Callie ain't lookin' for Sophia. Not right now," Ben said as he continued to mess with the cans at his feet. All eyes fell to the boy, but Ben only looked up at Daryl. "She wouldn't do that with Gracie. She ain't gonna put Gracie in any kinda harm's way. She's just walkin'." Ben shrugged and turned his attention back to the cans he was stringing together. "Don't take a brain surgeon to know that."
Daryl stared at the kid and then shifted his eyes to the slightly smiling Carol. Again he shrugged off her smug look and shifted his eyes to the faster approaching Shane, and the large bag he had slung over his shoulder.
"Where's Danny and Dale?" Andrea asked quietly but the sound of her voice was drowned out by Daryl's angered steps heading towards Shane.
"What the fuck's all this?" Daryl spat watching Shane pull a rifle out of the bag on his shoulder and hand it out to Daryl. Daryl stared at the gun for a moment before takin' it. Knowin' it was better in his hands that that dumbass'. He grabbed for the rifle but Shane held tight as he caught Daryl's eye.
"You with me man?" Shane asked gruffly and Daryl bit at the inside of his cheek. His eyes shifted away from Shane's for a moment down to the barn, and Shane pulled on the rifle to get Daryl's attention. "I know you ain't dumb enough to believe that we can live with them in there. I lived with you long enough to know, you ain't that stupid. You know this is the way it has to be man." Shane leaned in and Daryl growled at him. "All our differences aside. I know you ain't that man. Now, you with me?"
Daryl snarled but let his chin dip low to his chest as his eyes skipped to where Ben was staring at him. He growled a little and pulled on the rifle and finally Shane let go, nodding his head. Daryl cocked the weapon, getting it ready and let his eyes shift around the area. Shane moved forward spoutin' off like some kind of fuckin' war general leadin' his troops as he passed out weapons to the assembled group. Daryl hardly paid him any attention as he watched Ben get off the ground and slip over towards him.
"Are you gonna shoot 'em?" Ben asked up to Daryl as he continued to watch the area for a sign of Callie or Rick. His eyes shifted to the little boy lookin' up at him fearfully and again his mouth twitched. Involuntarily his thumb lifted to his bottom lip and he growled behind it as he tore at that worn out skin. "That's not what Rick wants us to do?"
Daryl glared down at Ben and shook his head, again his eyes slidin' around the area for any sign of fuckin' Deputy Do-Good. His gaze slipped over to where Carol was starin' at him, barely catchin' sight of Maggie as she begged for Shane not to do this. Begged and pleaded with him to stop, knowin' that this would be the end of it. No more discussions. No more rest time for their wounded. This would be their last act upon this land.
Daryl's eyes again slipped to Carol who had stepped up next to Lori, helping to pull Carl away from the gun that Shane was offering the boy. Carol looked to him with that fuckin' pleadin' look of hers, implorin' him to take a stand and put a stop to this. Daryl snarled and turned his attention back to Ben, they boy givin' him that same look Carol had offered, mixed with a fear and confusion that tore at that lump in his stomach. Daryl growled low in the back of his throat as Shane continued to go on and on about this place not being safe, and needin' to make it safe.
Maggie and Lori workin' to be the voice of reason echoin' in the back of his head, as Ben and Carol's gazes bore holes into him, had Daryl just about seein' red. What the fuck was he supposed to do? What the fuck was he supposed to say? What? When part of him, a part he hated to admit existed, actually fuckin' agreed with the bastard handin' out guns.
Livin' here with them Walkers wasn't safe. Not for any of them, and if Rick wanted to stay here, then they fuckin' had to make it safe.
"Yeah, well Rick ain't here, little man. So," Daryl finally responded shrugging the last word to Ben as he knelt down before him. He pulled the handgun from the small of his back where he'd had it tucked since his walk with Carol. He flipped it around and held the butt out to him. Ben looked at him wide eyed and stepped back a bit and Daryl pushed the gun towards him. "C'mon, little man. I ain't gonna have you unarmed and unprotected if things go down the way it's lookin' like they're gonna. You take it." Daryl pushed it out again and Ben put his hand to the butt of it, his eyes lookin' right up at Daryl.
Daryl held Ben's eyes for what seemed like forever, before he shifted his gaze to where the boy was gripping the gun. His hands looked ridiculously small on the weapon and for one fleeting moment Daryl felt his stomach dip at the sight. It wasn't like he had been much older than Ben when he first learned how to shoot. Fuck, Merle woulda had him out earlier if he coulda. But Ben wasn't Daryl.
But he's becomin' just like you, ain't he, little brother?
"You stay back by Carol and Lori if shit goes down, you hear me?" Daryl growled as he slowly let go of the gun and moved to stand. "You don't play hero. You keep your ass safe, and you keep them safe. Get me?" Ben's head nodded and Daryl gave a single shake. "I ain't a mind-reader kid, you say it."
"Yeah," Ben said in a low voice as he stared down at the gun in his hands. "I get you, Daryl."
Daryl put his hand atop Ben's head just as T-Dog uttered a loud and confused 'What the hell?' Daryl's eyes shifted towards the wooded area near the barn and for a single moment he had a horrifying thought that it was Callie. That something was wrong. But he was only half-right in that way of thinkin'.
It wasn't Callie, it was Rick. And something was definitely fuckin' wrong with the picture he was seeing. Shane was muttering by the time Daryl's brain clicked into place, and Shane's bulky ass was off and runnin' towards where Rick, Hershel and Jimmy were leadin' to fuckin' Walkers towards the barn. Daryl took off runnin' as did Ben, the boy practically instep with him until Daryl reached back and pushed him towards the back of the pack.
"What I just say to you?" Daryl shouted as he kept runnin', his eyes watching Ben roll his eyes and slow his steps so that he was back towards Carol and Lori as they too ran. Daryl's attention shifted forward again, and his eyes slipped over to the left for a brief second as he was hit with the odd sensation of being watched. Shakin' his head, Daryl ran full tilt and then pulled up, his rifle aimed and ready to take out the Walker in the coveralls that Rick was struggling with.
"What are you doin'?" Shane bellowed as he ran towards Rick. The dust flew up around his feet as he rounded and then backed away from Rick and his walker on a stick. Daryl growled low in his throat as he came up and shifted his rifle at the head of the Walker Rick held. Rick's eyes slid to him for a moment and then moved back to the irate Shane. "The hell are you doin'?"
"Back off, Shane." Rick growled as he continued to struggle with the Walker. His hands slipped and Daryl shifted forward, his breath hissing out as he sighted down his barrel. Rick shot him a look and with a single shake of his head warded off Daryl's pulling of that trigger.
Shane continued to growl and hiss at Rick, his voice hoarse as he yelled obscenities and flared his nostrils as h went on and on. He stalked in front of the two men brandishing Walkers and glared daggers as Hershel yelled back.
"I see who I'm holdin'," Hershel's voice echoed strangely in Daryl's ears and as he shifted his gaze around to the rest of his group he could see that the words seemed just as out of place to them. His gaze shifted to where Carol was standing with a hand to Ben's shoulder, the boy's jaw clenched tight as he nodded at Daryl and held tight to the gun in his hands.
"Just let me do this," Rick's voice ground out causin' Daryl to shift his attention back to the Walker lunging towards him. Rick angled the lead away roughly, growling with the force he used and put himself between Daryl and the Walker. Daryl growled and shifted around so that he could again sight the head of the Walker and Rick shot him an angered look. "Just let me do this," Rick said shifting his eyes back to Shane. "Then we can talk—"
"Talk!" Shane barked his eyes wildly roaming the area. "What you wanna talk 'bout, Rick?" He held both of his arms up and shrugged his bulky shoulders as he again addressed the crowd, workin' them up so that they saw his side. Saw that he wasn't the one talkin' crazy with a Walker. "Ain't nothin' to talk about. These things ain't sick. They're dead."
Shane spat the words at Rick and Daryl watched Rick pause, his anger fadin' just a bit as he stared at his friend tryin' to talk sense into him. Rick's mind was no doubt exactly on level with Shane's, but he was workin' hard to try and see things differently. Tryin' to accept another man's point of view for the safety of his family. To keep his people safe here on this land. Daryl saw that clenchin' of Rick's jaw as he glared at Shane, and knew that his silence wasn't because he was angry. It was because he agreed, no matter how hard he was tryin' to convince Hershel otherwise.
He fuckin' agreed with Shane on some level.
"All they do is kill," Shane continued on in his loud tone, his eyes again lifting from Rick out to the crowd.
Daryl snarled at the man, workin' to rile people up instead of calm the situation. The harsh difference between Rick and Shane was clear as fuckin' day as Daryl's eyes shifted between the two men in a power-struggle that neither had wanted to enter into. Again, Daryl let his eyes roam the distant area up and to the left hopin' Callie would come and help. This wasn't Daryl's strong suit, it was Callie's. Daryl wasn't a man to diffuse shit like this. He was the cannonball that blew it apart after someone lit the fuse. An act Shane was pretty damn close to doin' with all his yellin'. Daryl's brow furrowed just a bit as he thought he spotted something off in the distance.
"They killed Amy," Shane's angered heavy voice continued. "They killed Jenna," Shane spat, his utterance of the girl's name causin' Daryl's eyes to shift from those specs he wasn't sure he was even seein' back over to the sum'bitch now glarin' at him. "They killed Otis," Shane said in a lower yet still forceful tone, his eyes sweepin' away from Daryl and again up into the crowd, hitting hard on Patricia and Beth and then over to the glowerin' and glarin' Maggie. "They're gonna kill us all." Shane said in a lower tone, his voice finally falling from the higher level of yelling and down to a more controlled growl.
Daryl watched Shane's angered, disgusted glare roll over the equally angered and disgusted Rick and his hands twitched on his rifle. Just slightly, as Shane shifted and reached for his gun, Daryl's rifle shifted to sight the shaved head of the asshole lookin' to take the reins of this group by any means necessary. Daryl shifted his sight and shuddered against that chill that ran down his spine at the prospect of actually havin' to pull the trigger on him.
"Shane stop!" Rick yelled as he watched Shane shake his head and shift away. Shane pulled his gun and Rick tried to follow but the Walker on the end of the lead was fighting more and more as more potential meals filtered closer to it. Daryl sniffed and again shifted his rifle towards the Walker earning an angry glare from Rick. "Shane-"
"Hey, Hershel," Shane said loudly as he circled around putting himself between the old man and the barn full of Walkers. Hershel's steely glare would have withered a lesser man, but as of right now, Shane wasn't a man. He was runnin' on the power of a fucker who fancied himself the highest authority. Which was more dangerous than any simple man. "Let me ask you somethin'," Shane said nodding his head in a high and mighty way that made Daryl sneer at him and shift his rifle yet again as Rick's Walker made a lunge for him. "Can a living breathing person walk away from this?"
The three shots Shane fired into the chest of the Walker echoed around the group. Stifled gasps and cries of alarm rang loudly along with Rick's shouted attempts to get Shane to stand down. Futility, anger, fear it was fueling everything in that field now and Daryl fidgeted on his feet as he worried what was to come. His eyes shifted to where Ben was putting himself slowly in front of Carol. Daryl's gaze shifted back to Hershel, watchin' the shock ebb its way onto his face as his grip slowly loosened on the lead he was holding. Rick's eyes caught his and his chin jutted towards the Walker Hershel was slowly releasing. Daryl growled but took the cue slipping sideways and sighting down his barrel at the woman clawing at Shane as he advanced and again raised his gun.
"That's three rounds to the chest," Shane explained as if he were teachin' a fuckin' seminar. "If someone was alive could they just walk away from that?" Shane fired three more times and Daryl shifted on his feet anxiously as the Walker rocked back towards where Maggie stood by Glenn before Hershel got it back under control. "That's the heart, the lungs. Tell me, Doctor Greene, why's it still comin'? Huh? How the fuck is it still comin'?"
"Shane that's enough!" Rick yelled, his hands shifting and pushing the Walker off to the side a bit. Daryl's rifle shifted and he growled thinkin' shit would be a lot easier if he just put a fuckin' bullet in both geeks' heads. But he wasn't the man to throw that first stone into the pile, Rick was still workin' towards some kind of peaceful end to this. And as fucked up an idea as that seemed now, Daryl respected that.
"Yeah, man. That is enough," Shane said calmly his gun lifting one more time. The world slowed just a bit as that bullet ripped out of his gun and through the head of the dead woman on the end of the lead in Hershel's hands. Gore shot out the back of the Walker's head and splattered over Maggie and Glenn, causing the girl to scream and Glenn to pull her to him. Daryl growled as Hershel's grip finally fell from the lead and the man fell to his knees upon the dry dirt and dead grass.
"Enough Rick," Shane said his voice again risin' in anger as he shifted his eyes away from Rick and to the group. Rick struggled with the Walker he had and continued to yell, but Shane's voice boomed over top of him. "Enough riskin' our lives for a little girl who is gone!" Shane seethed his eyes shootin' over Daryl's head to where Carol and Ben stood in the background. Daryl's feet shifted below him and again his instinct to shift the rifle towards the man was overrun by Rick's obvious struggle with the undead sum'bitch on the end of the pole he held. "Enough livin' next to a barn full of things that are goin' to kill us. Enough Rick. Enough!" Shane seethed as he advanced on Rick who was now struggling to get someone to take the lead from him. Shane's eyes were on fire as he glared at Rick and Daryl wasn't sure who was shootin' more flames at the other as he shifted his eyes between them. "It ain't like it was before, Rick." Shane said shakin' his head in disgust as he turned away from his best friend, his fuckin' brother."You gotta see that. You gotta understand, man." Shane's eyes again skipped out to the crowd and he again began to rile them up. "You wanna live!" He yelled out and Daryl's eyes shifted away from him and over to Rick who was desperately tryin' to get rid of the Walker he was tryin' to control. Daryl's head shook and Rick glared at him as he struggled. "You wanna survive. You gotta fight! I'm talkin' fight. Right here, right now."
Shane turned away and headed towards the barn, grabbing an axe from the ground and banging away at the door. Rick was growling after him, pleadin' with Hershel to take the lead from him, still tryin' to maintain that air of respect to the man's way of thinkin'. Daryl growled and shifted closer.
"Rick," Daryl seethed through his teeth catching the former deputy's wide angry eyes. "Man ain't there no more. Time to end this shit."
Rick stared at Daryl for a moment before the truth of that dawned on him. Shane had broken the lock and dragged the chains from the door now, the shocked gasps and cries of alarm, cries for him to stop all echoed through both Daryl and Rick's heads. Daryl again caught Rick's eye as Shane worked the large two by four off of the door and finally Rick gave a begrudging nod. Daryl sighted down his barrel and took out the Walker at the end of the lead. Rick dropped the white pole immediately and moved to take off towards the barn but his steps faltered just as Daryl's did at the sight of those doors slowly pushing open on their own.
"Rick! Daryl!" Callie's voice broke through the haze and Daryl's eyes snapped back to the left to see the woman running through the field on the side of the barn with Miles and Gracie. Daryl's body instinctively moved towards her but he stopped, lifting a hand as the creakin' of the damn barn door and the cacophony of groans and moans set free caught his attention.
Shane was backin' away now, and Callie was running full tilt towards the front side of the barn. She and those kids were gonna come out right beside the fuckin' horde of Walkers now pushin' their way towards the group.
"Stop!" Daryl yelled out, his hand raised up to ward her off as he finally caught Callie's eye. Callie's feet continued on, but her hands reached out to wrap around the faster moving form of Gracie beside her. She wrapped her arms around the girl just as Shane had lifted his gun. From this angle Daryl really couldn't tell, but it looked like the man had his gun pointed right at Callie. Daryl's rifle was raised and ready.
One Walker, then four, then four more shifted out of that barn. One turned to where Callie had skidded to a stop, causing her to fall back on the ground. Gracie was settled between her legs and Miles was bringing up the rear, his gun raised and ready. The boy fired and took out the Walker, before kneeling down and pulling at Callie and Gracie.
Shane shifted his gun and fired at one Walker then another. Daryl's eyes stayed on Callie and Gracie on the ground for a moment, his gaze locked with that those hazel eyes that he loved so much. He felt his lips draw back in a snarl as she waved at him, and then he sighted down his barrel and stood in line with the rest of the group.
They were like some sick firing squad. Each shot takin' out another monster come from the darkest recesses of their minds. Daryl didn't pay any attention to how many he shot. He didn't pay any mind to the amount of bodies, whether they were male or female as they fell to the dirt before the barn. The only thing registering in his head was that these things needed to die. If they wanted to survive, if they wanted a chance to fuckin' live. These things needed to die.
When the firing stopped, the sound of it continued to echo in Daryl's ears. His eyes roaming over the bodies that lay piled before the doors to the barn and splayed out in the dirt a bit further out. His rifle slowly lowered, and he let out a shaky breath as he continued to eye the bodies for any sign of movement.
Sounds slowly began to make it through the blood pounding between Daryl's ears. The sound of Maggie cryin', of Beth and Patricia weepin'. The sounds of the group's heavy breathing had his eyes shifting down the line of people who were still standing awe struck by what they'd just done. Daryl spared a quick glance over his shoulder to where Rick stood, struck still by shock his hand loosely settled at the gun at the small of his back, mouth agape as he too surveyed the justice that had just been wrought.
Daryl shifted at the sound of footsteps and his rifle slipped up, lowering instantly as he watched Callie shuffle forward with Gracie. Miles was breathing hard as he picked a path around the carnage, his eyes lifting to meet Daryl's for a quick second before shifting over to where Beth and Maggie were wailing on the ground beside their stoic father.
Callie continued into the throng, her hands pushing the silently sobbin' little girl into the reaching hands of Miles as he passed her. Daryl swallowed the lump in his throat as he watched Callie's booted feet pick a path through the carnage, her eyes swinging over the bodies. It took a second for him to shake off the unrelenting urge to rush forward and pull her away, get her out of that field of death and decay and safe in his arms. Took him a second to realize that her brow was furrowed not with shock but with confusion as her eyes skipped over the forms. Took a second to realize she was lookin' for something among those bodies. No, not something…someone. She was half-facing him and half-facing the barn when the doors creaked open again and a snarling hiss echoed out from the dark confines.
Callie's body hid whatever was comin' out of that fuckin' barn, but Daryl wasn't worried as he saw Callie's hand slide towards the gun settled in Rick's holster at her hip. It wasn't until her hand began to shake uncontrollably as it hovered over the butt of her gun that he began to worry. Wasn't until her legs began to shake and she backed up a step that his hands tightened on his rifle.
"Oh God," Callie's strangled sounding voice echoed that one simple phrase into the stillness that had fallen over their assembled group. It echoed and reverberated deep in Daryl's chest as he staggered forward a step, only to stop cold when Callie shifted back enough that he could see what she was starin' at.
Who she was starin' at.
The world slowed again, and Daryl stared in shock at the tiny form of Sophia staggerin' out into the sunlight. Her poor little feet, one bent at an odd angle as if broken, trudging along and catching on the bodies that lay strewn in her path. Her skin was ashen and gray in the bright sunlight. The bright colors of her dirt and blood encrusted little rainbow t-shirt garish and harsh next to the deathly paleness of her exposed skin. It was the blood, thick and infected, that had run down her left shoulder and disappeared behind her that had the bile risin' in Daryl's throat. The way her dead eyes surveyed them as she staggered forward towards where Callie still stood that had his hand dropping his rifle to the ground as the breath rushed from his lungs.
Memories of another little girl, dead and bloody staggerin' towards him rushed back to him nearly takin' him to the ground.
"Sophia!" It was Carol's anguished cry that seemed to wake him back up, his eyes shiftin' just in time to catch the woman as she barreled past him towards her daughter. Callie hadn't moved yet, and Sophia was creepin' closer, her little blonde head dipping left and right spasmodically as she caught onto the scent of the woman shakin' before her. Daryl's arms wrapped tightly around Carol as she continued to cry out her little girl's name, and together they fell to the ground. Daryl's eyes shifted to catch Ben come to a stop beside them. His tiny body turned towards where Sophia was staggerin' out of the barn towards Callie, his hands trembling as they held on tight to the gun Daryl had given him. Daryl blinked back tears that he hadn't even realized had welled in his eyes as he held tight to Carol's body and rocked her away as she tried desperately to claw her way forward. Ben's eyes shifted then, as if he could feel Daryl's eyes on him and in a moment that simultaneously dumbfounded Daryl and rocked him to his core the little boy shifted so that he was standing in front of Daryl and Carol, is gun raised. Steady in the face of everything and ready to protect the two people on the ground behind him.
Daryl and Carol both shifted so that they could see around Ben's tiny frame as he stood between them and what was happening at the barn. Daryl shifted his eyes away from Sophia for a single beat, his gaze slidin' over the shocked group that had just dealt swift justice to every other undead person that had staggered out towards them. Slidin' over them in disgust as they stared at the little girl that he knew none had every expected to actually find. Finally his eyes caught on Rick, the man's face hard and unreadable as he shifted slowly towards where Callie still stood shaking. Daryl's eyes shifted back to Callie, watching the woman's shaking hand finally settle upon the butt of her gun. Her thin shoulders lifted and fell three times as Sophia's slow progress seemed to quicken a bit as she neared her. Callie's hand shifted her gun free from the holster and she lifted it, the barrel shaking as it pointed at Sophia's head.
"Don't look," Daryl was mutterin' over and over to the distraught woman clutched in his arms. He held her tighter to him, tryin' to offer what strength he could to this woman who now had to lose her baby…again. His eyes shifted to Callie and he was surprised to see the woman looking back at him, sorrow etched into her features that tugged at what was left of his resolve. Carol's anguished cries continued, her hands clawin' deep into Daryl's arms; her protests losing steam as her body sunk into his embrace. Daryl put his forehead to the back of Carol's then, feeling his tears flow free down his dirty cheeks, and he shook his head. "Don't look."
He wasn't sure what made him look up again, but something clicked in the back of his head as he said those words again. His eyes shifted up to see Miles standin' close by, Gracie's body in his arms, her head pushed into his shoulder so she couldn't watch as he stared wide-eyed at the scene unfolding. Daryl's eyes went to Ben still standing before him, gun limp at his side now as he stared forward. Daryl reached out quickly and grabbed onto the boy's shirt, tuggin' him backwards. Ben stumbled and stared at him for only a second before shovin' himself under Daryl's arm and around to his back. Daryl felt the boy grab fistfuls of his shirt and bury his little face between his shoulder blades, and he kept arm wrapped around behind him holdin' the boy as tight as he could, while Carol clung to his other arm and gave up her fight. Again Daryl's forehead fell to the back of Carol's head and he shook it as he watched Rick approach Callie.
"Don't look," he muttered, not only to Carol but to himself as he continued to shake his head against the back of hers.
Rick stepped forward then his hand reaching out to Callie's shaking shoulder. She looked over her shoulder to him, the tears rolling down her cheeks shining in the bright sunlight, streaking the bit of dirt and dust that had covered her face during her mad dash towards them. She stared hard at Rick for a second and lowered her gun, as Rick raised his. Rick's hand guided her to turn around and she willingly did, her head bowing as she remained close at his side. Her hand lifted and she settled it upon his shoulder as he lifted his gun.
The sound of that gun going off was the last thing that registered in Daryl's mind before it shut down completely and his head fell to the space between the shoulder blades of the woman cryin' out her agony in his arms.
Dully, he realized she'd watched the whole damn thing.
Oh, there was a time we ain't forgot
You could rest all night with your doors unlocked
But there ain't nobody safe no more
So you say your prayers and you thank the lord
For that peacemaker in your dresser drawer
God & guns keep us strong
That's what this country, Lord, was founded on
Well we might as well give up and run
If we let 'em take our God & guns
~God & Guns / Lynyrd Skynyrd
AN: *throws hands up in the air and backs away from the computer* DEAR GOD, that was HARD. I'm not sure why, but that Barn scene was what was holding me up. BIG TIME. I just couldn't seem to piece it together in my head…and then having it in Daryl's POV and tryin' to really get that PERFECT…it seemed like I had taken on an impossible task.
But I got it out, and it's done. And we can move the fuck on now people. Let me know what you thought, I'm interested to know if you think I got it right. Were you surprised with Gracie speaking? Or what she said? Had you caught onto those tiny arms reaching out to her from inside the barn? Did Danny's altercation with Shane leave you lookin' for more? Let me know!
For those wondering…Danny's quoted passage is from Proverbs 18:13.
As a side note, I'm going to be workin' hard on this over the next few days/weeks…but with the holidays it may be a bit further between updates than you're used to with me. I say MAY BE, because you never know, if I hit a good flow (like I did last night) we could be rockin' and rollin' along at a much faster pace. But don't hold your breath…
I love you all and Happy Holidays, Happy Winter Solstice, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah…whatever your pleasure, celebrate with your family and friends. I share my wealth of joy with you all and can only hope that this season brings you joy, laughter and love. And may we all welcome in the New Year…by watching Season 1 and 2 in Black and White…and getting ready for a fuckin' fantastic February (yay alliteration!)
Much love!
See ya next chapter! Where we will possibly answer the question of where the fuck is Danny heading? Any guesses?