New Meanings To Old Words: Love
Venturing into the lovely horror that is part 2. God bless you all for stayin' with my long-winded ass.
As always, read, review and most of all enjoy!
~michelle
Disclaimer: I own nothing, except Callie and the crew of misfits (Danny, Miles, Jenna, Mike, Nina, Ben and Gracie).
After The Storm Pt. 2
Danny shifted and then winced slightly as he pulled his knife out of the skull of the Walker letting the rotting used-to-be man fall limply to the ground at his feet. He let out the breath that he'd apparently been holdin' since the bastard grabbed him and spun him around and grimaced at the gore-covered knife in his hands. Wiping the blade along his worn out cargo pants he wiped the back of his free hand over his mouth and stared down at the body at his feet.
Danny shifted his eyes up and down the small road way that he'd been aimlessly walkin' for God knew how long and checked for anymore unwanted, fuckin' unwelcome visitors. He shifted on his feet as his eyes came again to rest on the body at his feet. Instinctively he kicked out with his bum leg and toed the body. His own sick and twisted rules about checking twice makin' him feel like a fucked up Santa Claus as he did it. The body jiggled but the dead milky eyes didn't move which made Danny let out another shuddering breath.
One more shift of his eyes up and down the road before he tipped and began to crouch down beside his new friend. His left leg protested his bendin' it and gave out as he moved down making him crash to the ground in a heap on his ass beside the body. Letting out a sarcastic scoffing laugh at himself he shook his head and waved his knife in the air in a chiding manner.
Shifting on his hip Danny brought his good right leg up and rested his arm on it as he stared down at the Walker on the road. The dead man was staring straight up at the slowly approaching evening sky above and Danny shifted his eyes upwards as well.
"S'gettin' darker earlier now," Danny muttered to the dead man at his feet as his eyes shifted back to the road. "Shoulda headed back by now. Just couldn't seem to bring myself to do it." Danny snarled at himself and shifted the back of his right hand to his mouth while his left still gripped his knife, as if he expected the bastard to get up again even after he checked him.
Danny worked the back of his hand over his mouth a few times, feeling the growth of his stubble scratching off of the skin and catching in the small hairs near his wrist. He continued that motion as he stared down at the Walker, his mind scattering in a million different directions again.
Thoughts of what had happened and what had almost happened in the woods with Shane and Dale seemed to maintain center stage for most of the portion of his walk, and as he stared down at the Walker they yet gain surfaced. Followed closely be the faces of everyone else at camp, all the people that he knew he was probably worryin' sick with his ridiculous need to get away. Callie's face, her understanding yet disappointed look that he knew she'd have waitin' for him when he did saunter back. Dale and his unrelenting worry and fatherly affection.
Danny stared down at the Walker at his feet and kicked his left foot out grimacing past the pain he caused himself and watching the body. His mind shifted again, to where it had finally shifted to an hour or two ago, and he felt his jaw clench tight.
Jake.
Sniffing back what he was shocked to feel were fuckin' tears that had started to well up behind his eyes he shook his head. Shifting on his hip Danny slid his hand into his back pocket and pulled out the photo that had felt like a red hot poker with every step he'd been taking. His left foot kicked out again and he shifted his eyes to the dead man on the ground with him.
"Hey," he said to the Walker his left hand tapping his knife's blade on what was left of the man's chest cavity. "S'my boy," Danny muttered to the dead man as he unfolded the photo and stared at his son's face. "You seen him?" He shifted the photo around so that the Walker could see and then scoffed out a laugh at his own actions. "I should be lookin' for him," Danny muttered. Shaking his head a bit he flipped the photo back so that he was once again met with his son's vibrant green eyes.
They were really the only feature on the boy that could actually be made out anymore. Too many months of sittin' in his fuckin' back pocket. Too many times folded and unfolded so that it was barely held together anymore. Danny blinked his eyes a few times and stared at the photo.
"I don't fuckin' deserve to find him," he muttered to the dead man beside him. Shifting he tapped his knife along the dead man's head while nodding his own. "Shit I've done," he shook his head. "I like to pretend that I've changed. That I ain't the man that Leslie left in ruins in Savannah. Like to pretend that me givin' up the drugs and that life is good enough. But it ain't."
Danny shifted his eyes to the dead man's unblinking glare at the sky and sniffed back his unshed tears.
"I almost killed a man. A good man," Danny muttered shakin' his head. "He's lost and on the edge and I almost—"
A familiar sound echoed around him and had Danny's head snapping down the road back towards where the farm lay. He squinted his eyes and shifted on his butt staring in awe at the sight of headlights heading straight for him. In his mind's eye he saw a pissed off, at-the-end-of-her-very-fuckin'-frayed-rope Callie behind the wheel glaring at the road ahead. He moved his body around and settled back on his ass again, his right arm rested atop his raised right leg his hand still holding onto the photo of him and Jake.
Danny's brow furrowed a bit not recognizing the car as it closed in on him. A moment of panic entered into him as he wondered if perhaps this wasn't one of his people, but a stranger. He shifted his knife back into the sheath at his hip and slipped his left hand around to the small of his back where his gun was settled. The feel of the weapon as his fingers slid over the butt instantly brought back that rush of memories of holding it to Shane's head, but he shook them off and steeled himself for whatever was heading towards him.
The sun was still shining brightly enough that he knew whoever was behind the wheel of that car had to see him. A part of him hoped that if it was a stranger and they saw him settled there on the ground next to a Walker that they would just keep on going. He'd never been as much a fan of the whole stoppin' and pickin' up strays aspect of his travels with Callie, so the idea of new people wasn't really an appealing thought at the moment. Especially when his mind wasn't really in a place that it should be.
The car continued to barrel towards him and Danny crab crawled a bit out of the way as it sped past him. His brow narrowed as the car sped only a few feet further before screeching to a halt and turning hard to the side of the road. The car's engine cut off and Danny's breath held painfully deep in his chest. Danny's hand was clenched around the butt of his gun and he slipped it out slowly as the driver's side door slowly opened.
The site of Hershel's white hair gleaming in the overhead sun had Danny's eyes rolling back and his hand falling from his gun. His shoulders sagged and he lifted his now empty left hand to cover his mouth before letting out a ragged sigh.
"Jesus fuckin' Christ, Hershel," Danny half-chuckled out lifting his hand to his sweat-slicked forehead as he stared at the stoic face of the man staring at him. He watched Hershel's eyes settle on the body of the Walker on the ground by him and felt this strange unsettled feeling flow over him when the older man's eyes finally lifted to his. It was as if a light that had been in the man's eyes before had suddenly been extinguished leaving this shell in place of what had been a cantankerous but lively man. "What-"
"Are you hurt?" Hershel's voice was hoarse and gravely and Danny stared hard at him for a moment.
"'Bout to have my ass a fuckin' heart attack, thank you very much," Danny responded a bit peevishly as he shifted to work up to his feet. He slipped his photo back into his pocket and then braced his right hand on the legs of the Walker to help him gain his footing. "But other than that I'm just peachy. Havin' a good ol' time here with my new friend."
"Right," Hershel said quietly before turning away and shifting himself back into the car. Danny blinked a few times at the spot where the man used to stand and shook his head as the driver's side door slammed closed.
"The fuck?" Danny muttered as he took a single step towards the car. His movement stopped as the car started up and the brake lights flared to life for that single second as Hershel no doubt shifted out of park and into- the car started off down the road again and Danny's mouth dropped open. "Hey!" Danny shouted after the old man as he drove down the street away from him. "Hey! Where the fuck are you goin'?"
Danny started off down the road after Hershel's car his left leg shooting a pain through his body right up to his stitched up side as he bent his leg more than he probably should have. He stumbled forward a couple of steps and watched the brake lights flare to life again as the car stopped a good distance down the road. Growlin' low in the back of his throat Danny shuffled forward at brisk pace he was gonna be payin' for later, his eyes shifting around him as he moved. After what felt like too fuckin' long he came to a stop at the open passenger side window. Placing his hands to the window frame he ducked his head and glared at the older man inside.
"Now I know we ain't the best of friends, but that was just fuckin'-" Danny stopped speaking as he finally had a good look at the older man inside the car. His eyes were glued to the steering wheel where his hands held in a white knuckle grip. His face was drawn and the darkness under his eyes seemed to have grown in the few hours since Danny had last sat quoting scripture to him. Danny's breath caught in his throat as Hershel's head dipped down, the wetness on his dark lashes shining in the sunlight filtering in through the windshield. "What happened? Are you-"
"No questions," Hershel's clipped voice echoed out and Danny's mouth again to speak. Hershel's eyes snapped to him then, the red rims around his eyes and deep lines dug in around his mouth speaking more clearly than any words ever could. "I'm about to travel down a dark and lonely path, Danny. It looks to me you've been workin' down that road yourself. I'd be glad to give you a lift. I feel we're both lookin' to go to the same place in the long run."
Danny stared for a moment longer before shifting his hand to the door release. He pulled and threw himself into the seat next to Hershel, his eyes continuing to stare at the older man as Hershel once again stared at his hands upon the wheel. Danny closed the door and shifted his eyes out the windshield and down the road ahead of them.
"Drive on, Hershel," Danny said quietly feeling the older man's gaze on the side of his face. Danny shifted and caught his eyes. "You can tell me everything when we get there."
Carol's hand were red and raw and angry, and they mirrored exactly what she'd felt as she thrashed away at that bramble of Cherokee Roses that Daryl had shown her only yesterday. She felt the tears welling behind her eyes as she shuffled slowly out into the full sun away from the carnage she had wrought on those beautiful flowers and shook her head lightly against the pull. She wasn't ready to fall into that part of her grief yet, she wanted to hang on to the anger. Hang on to her hatred of this world. Wanted to let it fill her up so that when she finally did let herself fall into a fit of tears she would have something to hold onto. Something that would bring her back from the abyss.
A quiet shuffle had her eyes snapping up from the ground and she stopped short at the sight of Shane leveling his gun at her. She stared at him for a long moment, watching his eyes take in her form as if looking to make sure she was still herself.
She couldn't blame him really. They'd seen so many of their own turn now that having to take out one of their own was almost an inevitable consequence of survival.
Shane lowered his gun and Carol shifted her feet and lowered her gaze as she moved forward again. She'd expected to go around him, to bypass whatever he planned to say to her and not have to deal with placating the man, but he stepped in front of her and stopped her.
"Carol," Shane said quietly as he slipped his gun back into his holster. His hands reached out and his eyes sought hers as he dipped his chin down and she spared him a glance. A glance that became a stare at the lost look on the usually stoic and confident man face. He took in a deep breath and let his hand, the one that had at some point landed on her arm, slip down to her dirty, ragged and raw hands. She moved to slip her hand away but he held tight and looked down in what Carol was shocked to see as genuine concern. "Hey, hey," Shane said tugging just a bit at her hand as she pulled away and yet again worked to catch her eyes. "You a'right?" his head shifted right to left as if trying to duck around whatever she was projecting at him and he firmed his lips. Tugging her forward he turned and half-dragged her towards the water pump he'd been cleaning himself up at. "C'mere."
Carol remained silent as he helped her to sit down on the small concrete slab. He didn't seem to mind her silence, in fact, it seemed to suit him just fine as he pumped a bit of water onto her ragged hands. She winced as the water hit, and again as his rough hands slipped over the tiny cuts on her palms, but he didn't seem to notice. Didn't seem to care.
It was clear as he stared down at her hands that his mind was somewhere else, and as he continued to clean her wounds she was slowly transported to another place too. And when he opened his mouth to speak she was fully away from that farm and that beautiful sunny day and back in time staring at someone else as he cleaned her blood away in the gray hues of their dark home.
"Want you to know I'm real sorry," Shane said causing her eyes to flare open just a bit. "Real sorry for-for your girl," Shane's voice continued and Carol snarled just a bit in her mind at the fact that he couldn't even say her name. "I opened that barn but I had no idea," Shane's eyes lifted to her and he stared hard into her eyes imploring her to believe him.
Carol just stared at him, his words echoing in her head the same way Ed's had years and years ago after the first time he'd hit her. The first time he'd smacked her hard enough across the face to blossom blood on her cheek and send her hands crashing into the dishes she'd just finished washing. His face so hard and young then, but lined with regret that she realized too late wasn't really for her or what he'd done.
"I'm sorry, Carol. I really - I never meant to hurt you. I'm so sorry, I just-" Ed's said with that same imploring look on his face.
"Everybody thinks I'm a-" Shane's voice continued and Carol's mouth firmed into a straight line as she suddenly began to feel ill. Shane continued to rub the pad of his thumb along her palm and then over the back of her hand and she suppressed the shiver that wanted to run down her spine.
"I'm just so stressed right now," Ed continued as he wiped the blood off of her cheek with a nearby dishtowel. "Everyone at work treats me like a-"
"I was just trying to keep everybody safe, Carol." Shane said his voice echoing strangely through the thrum of blood pounding between her ears. She stared at him as he looked up at her and she realized that he wasn't sorry for her loss. That he wasn't telling her any of this to express his sorrow for her.
"And then I come home and you-you just-" Ed's voice and the site of him shaking his head. "Everyone treats me like an idiot. Like I'm nothing and I just couldn't-can't-" he looked up at her then and held her hands. "I'm just under so much stress tryin' to provide for us."
"I had no idea she was in there," Shane said quietly holding her hands and again staring into her eyes.
"I had no idea you were pregnant," Ed said tightening his grip on her hands. "I promise you I would never—I won't ever-" Ed rubbed his thumbs along her knuckles and smiled. "I promise you. It'll never happen again."
Carol flew back to the present at the feel of Shane's thumbs slowly working over the back of her knuckles as he held her hands. She stared at him and held his gaze, knowing that she was right in her assumption. He wasn't trying to tell her how sorry he was for her loss. He was trying to get her to soothe him, to tell him that everything was okay. That no one thought of him as a monster for what he did at that barn.
He was begging her to say those words.
Because from her, the woman he saw as most hurt by his actions, the words would mean more.
Carol shivered as she remembered the way Ed had kissed her bruised cheek and held her hand. How he had begged her for her forgiveness as he placed a hand to her small belly where their child had barely just sparked to life. Remembered tossing away what remained of her dignity and strength and giving in. Remembered lifting her cut palms to his cheek and giving him those words of forgiveness he'd been seeking.
Remembered the feel of each and every hit after that. Remembered the bruises, the fear, the horror of watching her own child's eyes as she had to witness that. Remembered the feeling of her spirit crashing to the cold hard ground and shattering in such a way that she didn't think she'd ever be able to piece it back together again.
But she had.
It had taken the dead walking the earth for her to do it, but she had. Slowly. And after Sophia had gone missing her world had been shaken again, but things had been different. Ed hadn't been there to crush her down. No the group, her new family, had been there to pick her up and help her carry on. To give her faith.
Carol stared down into Shane's eyes and knew that a part of him was sorry for what had happened. He was a good man, somewhere deep down under whatever he was letting grow on top of him. He was still the good man that had kept them all safe at the Quarry for those many months. She knew that somehow along the way that man had just been broken, cracked, and that it wouldn't take much to shatter what was left of the good man that used to be Shane Walsh and leave the dark, brooding, angry creature she'd seen more often now in its place.
Yes, a part of her knew that he was sorry, but another part of her knew something more. Knew better than to accept that feigned apology. Knew better than to judge a man by his words alone.
She wouldn't give him the satisfaction of clearing his conscience for him, but she wouldn't be the one to break him either.
"Carol," Callie's voice echoed out and broke Carol and Shane's little staring match. Carol's eyes slipped up to where Callie had stopped at the corner of the small out-building. Callie's eyes shifted from Carol's startled gaze to her hands watching Shane drop them as he leaned back on his heels to glare back at her. Callie held Shane's snarling gaze and let her hands fall from their crossed position over her chest and settle at her slim hips. "Everything okay here?"
Carol's mouth opened to tell her that everything was fine, but was cut off as Shane launched up to his feet. He stood there glaring at Callie for a second before shaking his head idly and averting his gaze to the grass at his feet. His hands absently wiped at the back of his pants and Carol let her head fall to the side as she watched him. Shane's eyes shifted to Carol briefly and then he was looking away again. Glaring at Callie who maintained her place near the building, not making any move with her hands. Nothing that would be seen as a threat.
Because Carol knew that if she could see how close Shane was to his breaking point, then Callie could as well. And no matter what may have erupted between them, Callie didn't want to be the one to shatter what was left of the good man that used to be Shane Walsh either.
"Miles said he saw you walkin' off into the woods earlier," Callie continued, her eyes slipping to Carol again and a tiny smile tilting her lips. "Just wanted to make sure you were okay. See if you needed anything."
"She's fine," Shane snarled out his hands clenching into fists briefly as he stalked towards the dark haired woman staring him down near the building. Callie stood her ground, her hands easily settled at her hips and eyes taking in the stalking form heading towards her. For an instant Carol envied Callie for her ability to keep her cool in the face of such a man approaching her.
"I can see that, I didn't realize-"
"Best just stop stickin' your fuckin' nose into shit that ain't your concern, Callie." Shane snarled as he pushed past her. "For your own fuckin' good," he sneered as he passed. His shoulder just barely grazed Callie's as she shifted out of his way and the glaring eye contact that held between the two of them put Carol on edge.
Callie shifted and watched Shane as he walked past her, her hands held tight to the holster settled along her hips. Carol got to her feet and worked her way slowly towards Callie who was still watching Shane's departing form. Coming to a stop at Callie's side they both stood in silence and watched Shane's back. Callie's attention shifted slowly to Carol and she reached out a hand to where Carol was unconsciously rubbing her raw palms.
"You okay?" Callie asked almost confusedly as she looked at Carol's hands. Carol stared a bit longer than she probably should have at Callie's concerned tired eyes and then blinked a few times to clear her head. She nodded idly as she let her hands fall to her sides.
"I'm fine," Carol said quietly and Callie smirked just a bit at her before shaking her head. "Are you-"
"That man is on the edge of something I don't think there is any pullin' back from, you know?" Callie said quietly as she shook her head at the figure of Shane in the distance. She looked back to Carol and gave a sheepish sort of grin. "I'm fine. Really," Callie shook her head a bit more and ran a hand through her hair. "I'm actually gettin' used to him using me as a sounding board for his bullshit. Gives me new purpose in life."
Carol scoffed out a laugh and then looked down at her hands again. The stood in silence for a few moments before Callie reached out and put a hand lightly atop Carol's. When Carol looked up and saw the wealth of grief in Callie's eyes she smiled tightly and allowed a tear to roll down her cheek.
"I didn't mean to push anyone away," Carol said lightly as she squeezed Callie's hand firmly. "I should probably explain it to them. I just couldn't watch her being put in the ground. I couldn't- I'm not strong enough to be able to survive that."
"You're stronger than you think," Callie said squeezing Carol's hands back. "Strong enough to know you don't have to force yourself to watch just to prove a point. Strong enough to realize your weaknesses and embrace them. You're strong enough to survive this Carol."
"Daryl," Carol said quietly looking through her lowered lashes as Callie let out a sigh and looked off towards camp. "I should have explained it to him. He deserved that much. He was so-" Carol shook her head and cupped her hand over her mouth briefly before just staring at Callie with sorrowful eyes. "How is he?"
"He's angry," Callie said quietly. "Angry. Sad. Worried. Conflicted. And honestly just too damned emotionally stunted to be able to deal with it all hitting him at once." Callie looked back to Carol and smiled tightly. "So he's pulling away. Shutting down and processing." Callie shook her head and Carol frowned.
"We can't let him pull away," Carol said lifting a hand to Callie's shoulder. "He needs us and we need him."
"He's not as strong as you," Callie said with a small smile. "Not in the way you are. He wasn't planning for this outcome the way-" Callie shifted to look at Carol and she lowered her head in shame but Callie put a gentle hand to her shoulder and shook her head. "We all wanted to find her. We all thought we would. He knew we would. He expected it. He needs time to figure out how to deal with this. Jenna-" Callie's hand lifted to rake through her hair but it stopped midway. Carol watched Callie stare at her sliced palm, free of its bandage for the first time in a long time. "Everything that's happened. He needs time."
"You really think that's best?" Carol asked watching Callie as she let her hand fall limply to her side. Callie shook her head slowly and lowered her eyes to the grass.
"I don't know," Callie said in a defeated tone that just didn't suit the woman. Carol shifted and tried to catch Callie's eyes. "I don't want to push him further away, Carol. He's too important to me. I can't lose him, but I can't go over there and force him to be something he isn't. He deserves his chance to process and grieve just as much as anyone else and he's never really been given that chance. Everything that happened with Merle," Callie shifted on her feet and let out a ragged sigh. "He was just forced to move on. Didn't even want to process what might have been. The possibility of Merle being dead has never existed in his head. He treated Sophia the same way and being forced to actually see…I don't know…" Callie lifted her hand to rub at her forehead and took in a deep breath. "I gotta get back," Callie said shifting her tired eyes to Carol. "Beth collapsed. Hershel's nowhere to be found. Danny's apparently decided to take a long walk and take in the sights," Callie let out another ragged sigh. "I'm sorry…"
"Don't be," Carol said quietly as she lifted a hand to Callie's shoulder. "You know this all doesn't need to land on your shoulders. You and Rick have shouldered quite a lot-"
"I'll gladly share the load with him," Callie said quietly as she and Carol began the trek back up to the house. "The moment that man is allowed to take it all is the moment he finally falls under the strain, Carol." Carol held Callie's eyes for a long moment and frowned when Callie looked away.
"The same could be said for any of us, Callie." Carol said quietly causing the other woman to turn to her with an assessing look that had Carol shifting slightly on her feet. Callie held Carol's eyes for a moment before nodding and turning her attention back towards the house in the distance.
Callie settled her backside on the back door of the station wagon and ran her hands down her face, letting her fingers settle over her lips. She stared at her boots on the grass and felt Rick's gaze shift from where he'd been watching Glenn talk to Maggie and over to her. Callie barely lifted her gaze to meet Rick's stare before Miles was talking again.
"I wanna go too," Miles said in what would have been a whiny voice if he wasn't being so damned forceful and scarily adult about everything. Callie's hands fell from her face as Rick raised a hand to her in a clear-cut 'it's your call' move. Rolling her eyes at the man now almost glaring his impatience at Glenn as he dallied with Maggie on the porch Callie shifted slightly so that she could address the boy at the end of the car waiting.
"No," Callie said simply and she heard Rick huff out a bit of a laugh. Shifting her back to the annoying man toying with his fuckin' gun at the open driver's side door she held up a hand as Miles opened his mouth to again debate the topic. "I need you here."
"Danny's still out there," Miles said in an imploring tone as he shifted around and caught Rick's eye as he turned to face them again. Rick settled at Callie's back and Callie spared him a brief glance as Miles advanced on them. "Who knows maybe he's with Hershel. Maybe they took off together-"
"That's a big maybe," Rick said quietly as he settled his gun into its holster on his hip. Sparing Callie a look he shook his head. "Too big to risk you comin' with us. I'd rather have you here. Glenn knows where we're goin', we'll be in and out faster if I don't have to worry about you."
"I'm not a kid, Rick," Miles spat as he glared at the man raising brow at him. "You don't have to mind me like one. Figured I'd proven that by now."
"Yeah, well you're little tantrum here ain't helpin' your cause," Callie said quietly before lifting a soothing hand to Miles' shoulder. "Look," Callie said squeezing his arm. "I'm gonna go talk to Dale, try and get an idea of where Danny took off from. If he's not back soon I'm goin' out after his ass-"
"Callie-" Rick's voice sounded but she raised to stop him her eyes still on Miles.
"I need you here, Miles," Callie said forcefully her hand squeezing his arm just a bit tighter. She held his gaze and pulled him towards her. "You know why." After a beat Miles nodded and then sighed before letting his gaze slide around them.
"So you're gonna go alone?" Miles said tiredly as he raked his own fingers through his hair.
"I don't even know if I'm going at all," Callie said squeezing his arm one final time before letting her hand fall. "We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. In the meantime-"
"Yeah, I know," Miles said tightly his eyes lifting to the slightly confused Rick still settled at Callie's back. "Contingency plans. Gotta love 'em." Miles shook his head and lifted his eyes over the roof of the car giving a single nod to the approaching Glenn.
"What did that mean?" Rick asked watching Miles skulk off towards the campsite near the RV. His eyes shifted to Callie who was also still watching the boy's departing figure.
"It means if Danny and I go down, he's all Ben and Gracie have left," Callie said quietly before lifting her eyes to Rick. "It's-" Callie lifted a hand and furrowed her brow. "It's something we came up with way before we met up with everyone at the Quarry."
"I think it's time to update your contingency plan," Rick said tightly lifting a hand and settling it heavily on her shoulder. She nodded and sighed before shifting her eyes to where Glenn stood waiting on the other side of the car. "You're not really going out after him alone, are you?" Rick asked causing her to shift her attention back to him.
"I don't know, Rick," Callie said catching Glenn shift closer out of the corner of her eye. She smiled at him again as he rested his arms on the top of the car to hear her more clearly and shook her head. "I know he's armed. I know he can take care of himself-" Glenn's mouth opened and she lifted a hand. "That leg isn't gonna slow him down if his life's on the line, Glenn. Trust me I've seen him handle a lot in the months we traveled together." She let out a long breath and raked her fingers through her hair as she looked back to Rick. "I just can't shake this feelin' that he's not back because something happened. That he might be out there hurt or-" She firmed her lips and waved her hand around as Rick sighed and shared a glance with Glenn. "At this point I'm just foolishly hopin' he is with Hershel. I'd rather have him fall of the wagon than dead."
"Talk to Dale and standby," Rick said shifting so that he could maneuver himself into the car. "We should be back in no time. Once we find Hershel and tell him about Beth I can't see him not wantin' to come right back." Rick looked to Glenn who nodded in agreement. "A couple of hours," Rick said as he got into the car, Callie shifted and closed the door letting her hands rest on the open window frame. "If Danny's with Hershel we'll bring him back with us. And if not, and he hasn't limped himself back by then," Rick shook his head and firmed his lips trying to suppress his own anger. "Then we go out after him." He caught her eye and held it. "Together."
Callie held Rick's gaze for a moment before giving a noncommittal nod and shifting her eyes to Glenn seated beside him.
"How's Beth doin'?" Callie asked, ignoring the sound of Rick's disgruntled sigh at her apparent side-step of his order. Glenn shifted his eyes to her and let out a low breath as he rubbed at the back of his neck.
"Same I guess," Glenn said shrugging and sparing Rick a look. "Still catatonic. Patricia's doing what she can and Maggie…" Glenn's gaze shifted to where Maggie was still settled on the porch staring at them. Glenn let out another sigh and Callie shifted awkwardly at the next question she was about to ask.
"They checked her right?" Callie asked, her left hand lifting to rub where she'd been grabbed by the undead form of Beth's mother Annette not too long ago. Both Glenn and Rick watched her and she let her hand fall back to the window frame as she pierced Glenn with a hard look.
"Yeah," Glenn said grimacing a bit. "They didn't want to but I kinda made 'em."
"Good," Rick said for Callie as he nodded to the boy beside him. Rick looked back to Callie and gave her a stiff nod that she read immediately. She patted the door and stepped back slipping her hands into her back pockets as she rocked back on her heels. "We'll be back soon. Don't go off alone."
"Yes, sir," Callie said with a smirk and a mock salute that Rick rolled his eyes at. He shifted his gaze forward then, no doubt catching sight of Lori slowly working her way around the camp. Callie shifted and ducked her head towards the open window again. "Don't worry. I've got eyes on everything," Callie shifted her gaze from Rick and over to Glenn and then back. "You worry about you. Keep your eyes open, be smart, and stay safe."
It was Rick's turn to nod in that noncommittal fashion and Callie scoffed at him as she stepped back away and let him put the station wagon into gear. She stood there for a minute staring after the car as it drove off, her fingers clenching tight in her back pockets as the dirt flew up and clouded the air around her. The sound of the screen door slamming shut had her eyes shifting to the house and she let out a sigh.
Footsteps behind her had her turning with wide unblinking eyes as she prepared for whatever the fuck was coming next. She'd expected Lori. For some reason, she'd just expected the woman to come and voice more of her concerns and anger over her husband's choices. But when she turned she was instead met with the raised brow of Miles.
"May wanna see this," Miles said waving a hand for her to follow him. She rolled her eyes and let out a sigh as she followed the kid back towards camp.
"Danny back?" Callie asked as she trudged behind him, he shot her a look that clearly said 'fuck no' and she waved a hand. "Wishful thinkin'," Callie muttered as they continued on. Callie rubbed at the bridge of her nose as she mumbled to the boy still trudging ahead of her. "I don't need to shoot anyone right?" Callie looked up and saw Miles come to a stop and lift a single brow at her before letting his arm arc out around him.
"Depends on how you feel 'bout this," Miles said again letting his arm wave around him.
It took one single second longer than it really should have for Callie to realize exactly what was wrong with the current scenery. One second to feel her blood boil in just that right way to send her eye brows up on her forehead and her body spinning in a strange little circle in the empty plot of grass.
The empty plot of grass upon which her tent, the tent she fuckin' shared with Daryl, had sat.
"When the fuck-? How the-" Callie shifted around and stared almost incredulously at Miles who grimaced a bit as he chucked his head to the side in a motion to get her to follow him. "Fuckin' redneck ninja bastard. How did I not see him doing this?"
"You've been a bit busy," Miles muttered as he walked. Callie followed close on his heels and watched him lift a hand to the top of the RV. She shifted her eyes to see little Gracie settled up by Dale who waved down at her and pointed his arm off towards the low rolling fields out beyond them. She followed his pointing hand and spotted what looked like specs moving about in the distance.
"You've gotta be kiddin' me," Callie said squinting as she detoured with Miles now in tow.
They walked at a brisk pace at first, but by the time they got close enough to make out Daryl's shape working to set up his new little camp and Ben's little form laying down near to a small fire their steps had slowed. Miles gave a single nod when Callie looked back over her shoulder and he hung back a bit letting her advance on.
Whether Daryl noticed her presence as she rounded the remnants of the brick chimney that he'd settled some of his gear by or not, she didn't know. Didn't really fucking care at that moment. Her eyes were on the little boy laying in a fetal position with what looked like a denim jacket tossed over top of his form. His eyes were closed but as soon as Callie walked a few steps towards him his eyes popped open and he stared at her.
Callie stopped close to the fire and let her eyes roam the small area, hitting off Merle's bike not far off near a few trees. How the hell did she not hear him driving that fucking thing off? Shaking her head at herself and again rubbing at her temple she let her eyes roam to where Daryl was actively avoiding her presence by busying himself with his crossbow. A small smile titled her lips and she sighed as she crossed her arms over her chest, ignoring the sound of Ben shifting to sit up in his spot.
"I always thought it was Merle," Callie said quietly, her words working as well as she knew they would in getting Daryl's attention on her. The feel of the heat behind his stare as she shifted her eyes away from him and over the little camp area he'd set up was almost too intense for her to handle. But she'd been dealing with the man long enough to know how to do it. Shifting her eyes back to him and smiling a bit more at his utterly confused and angered expression she waved a hand out at his camp. "At the Quarry. I always figured it was Merle that set you all up so far away from the rest." She shook her head as he averted his gaze back to the apparently interesting task of putting his bolts into his bow. "But it was you the whole time. Keepin' your distance from everyone. Keepin' your peace of mind. Keepin' Merle away from the rest. All you," she finished and Daryl glared up at her then huffed out a snarling response that she didn't catch and didn't care to have him repeat.
Silence filled the little camp area and again Callie let her eyes roam around her. Her eyes landed on the tent, the small two-person sleeper that he'd had up at the Quarry rather than the one they'd shared. She felt her chest constrict just a bit and unconsciously her hand lifted to cover the hard thudding of her heart.
"Goin' huntin'," Daryl said causing her eyes to shift back to him. He was staring at her, his crossbow held loosely in his hand as his eyes held her in place. She stared at him for a moment before blinking back her confusion. He shifted his eyes away at that point and she continued to watch him ready his gear, his eyes shifting over to Ben briefly. "Takin' Ben with me. Boy needs to get away for a bit. Left Gracie with Dale," Daryl stopped talking then his eyes lifting to her as he stood up. "Miles told me 'bout Gracie seein' Sophia in the barn," Daryl said quietly holding her gaze.
Callie didn't say anything in return; she just let his eyes speak the volumes of the statement that his mouth and mind apparently couldn't work through. She gave a single nod to him and he returned it with a jerky bob of his head his left hand lifting so that he could chew at the cuticle of his thumb nail.
"Are those mine?" Callie asked finally, her hand lifting to indicate the bags settled in the odd space between Merle's bike and the tent. Daryl grunted and worked his way over towards them shifting his crossbow onto his shoulder as he walked.
"Wasn't sure," he began then stopped and bit at the inside of his cheek as his eyes shifted from the smaller tent to the bags then to her. "Way I figure it we're gonna be packin' up and hittin' the road again sooner rather than later. Didn't figure needin' to stay so settled-in," he shrugged under her gaze and shifted towards his bike where he grabbed his quiver hanging from the handle bars. "Your tent's all packed up and back on top of the Hummer ready to go whenever we are." Daryl shifted his eyes to her quickly and looked away as he settled his quiver into place. "Figure you can put what you want back in Hummer and keep what you think you may need…" he let the statement hang, not telling her to put her things into the smaller tent and not telling her to put them somewhere else.
Callie stared at him as he stalked around his new little set up, her eyes boring holes into him in a way that she knew he had to feel as he hunched his shoulders and walked past her towards the still sitting Ben. She continued to follow his movements as he practically dragged Ben up to his feet and then shifted the boy towards the wooded area.
"Don't be gone too long," Callie said to Daryl's back causing him to turn to her. He shifted a slightly confused and obviously still upset gaze towards her. She could see exactly what he was doing even if he couldn't and it irked her a bit that he was even attempting it. Maybe Carol was right. Maybe letting him stew in his turmoil wasn't the right way to handle it. But she'd be damned if she was going to force him out of his comfort zone by making him talk about his fuckin' feelings.
It was Daryl fuckin' Dixon after all.
"Ain't plannin' on it," Daryl said quietly in return before he shifted his eyes down to Ben and put a hand to the kid's shoulder. "Ain't got to worry, I got back up this time." Daryl patted Ben's shoulder and the boy looked up at him in a bit of awe a small smile cracking his face as he shifted.
"I'm not worried," Callie said turning from the both of them and walking off a few steps. "I've got enough shit to occupy my time right now, Dixon." She took in a breath and let it out slow through her nose before adding. "Danny's still gone."
"Callie," Daryl's voice called out and she stopped, half-turning to face him. He was staring hard at her now and she remained in her spot half-turned to him watching emotions fly over his face before he schooled it. "Don't do nothin' stupid."
"Take your own advice, Dixon." Callie said back and gave him a slight nod when he glared at her. Daryl snarled and pulled Ben off with him and Callie turned back to where Miles was still standing by the tree where she'd left him.
Callie could feel Daryl's eyes on her back as she walked away, and she steeled her spine against every instinct she had to turn back to him. She passed by Miles, who pushed himself off of the tree he'd been resting against and followed silently. When Miles caught up and was in step with her she shifted a look to him and caught him frowning.
"That went well," Miles said earning a scathing look from Callie beside him.
"Don't start," Callie muttered as she continued on. After a few more steps she stopped and turned back to see Daryl and Ben gone and let out a sigh, causing Miles to stop as well. Raking her fingers through her hair she shook her head and shifted her eyes to Miles. "Despite his real reasons for doin' all this," Callie started as she waved a hand out at Daryl's new little camp. "He's got a point. We don't know how long we're going to be here."
"You think they're gonna kick us off? I mean, Rick's really pushin'-"
"Yeah, he's pushin' and Hershel don't strike me as the man to give into bein' pushed at." Callie said shifting her eyes back to Miles. Miles raised his brows and she nodded. "I don't want to be caught with our pants down. And," Callie said as she started to walk again. "I don't want Daryl to think he's gettin' away clean."
"Oh, this outta be good," Miles muttered and she shot him a glare before continuing on towards their camp.
"Head back," Callie said pointing towards the RV and glancing at Miles. "Break down the tent and get the gear stowed in the Hummer as best you can. Put the rest in the RV for now. Then pull the fuckin' Hummer up to Casa de Dixon and set up the back for Ben and Gracie to sleep."
"You want me to sleep in there with them?" Miles asked and Callie shifted her eyes to him. He stared at her and waited for an answer to what she was shocked to discover was an honest to God inquiry on his part. He wasn't being sarcastic, or whiny, or childish just asking if that's what she wanted of him.
"I'd appreciate it if you did," Callie said quietly and he nodded.
"What 'bout Danny? Where's he gonna sleep?" Miles asked as he watched Callie veer off towards the house. She shifted around and raised a brow at Miles.
"After the shit he's pullin' today," Callie seethed before waving her hand in an arc out in front of her. "He can sleep in the fuckin' barn." Callie shook her head and Miles chuckled under his breath as he worked his way towards the RV. "If Dale asks what you're doin' tell him I'll fill him in when I'm done."
"Where you goin'?" Miles yelled after her.
"To check on Beth," Callie said waving her hand over her head as she walked.
Miles watched her go, his eyes settled on the hard line of her shoulders as she steeled herself for whatever was gonna hit her when she entered the house. He shifted his eyes back over to the barely visible broken down brick chimney that blocked most of Daryl's new little camp area from view. Letting out a long sigh he shook his head and worked his way over towards the tent he'd shared with Danny and Ben for a few nights.
"Everything okay?" Dale asked from atop the RV. Miles shifted his eyes up to the man and shook his head wearily.
"I think it's safe to say nothing is gonna be okay ever again, Dale." Miles muttered before ducking into his tent and leaving Dale to stare at the space he'd occupied.
And now I cling to what I knew,
I saw exactly what was true,
But oh no more, that's why I hold
That's why I hold with all I have, that's why I hold
And I will die alone and be left there
Well, I guess I'll just go home, oh God knows where,
Because death is just so full and mine so small
Well, I'm scared of what's behind and what's before
And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears
And love will not break your heart but dismiss your fears
Get over your hill and see what you find there
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair
~After The Storm/ Mumford & Sons
AN: THERE IS FORESHADOWING AFOOT. I don't wanna give things away….but there is definite foreshadowing. So if you picked up on it….good for you. If you didn't…don't worry you'll get it when we get there.
I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter… there was a lot of strange moments. Danny talkin' to a dead Walker on the road. Carol havin' Ed flashbacks…and Daryl and Callie acting so detatched… We're heading down a dark road here people. Dark road.
So… Hershel and Danny are on a road trip into town, with Glenn and Rick on their heels. Daryl's doin' his best to put a logical spin on his pulling-away and Callie's at her wits end with just about everthing… should be a fun ride to the end. Huh?
For those of you who may not know I've been running into a bit of time-block…not writer's block-because believe me I have this all plotted out and WANT to get it done- but time-block. I recently found out that I've got me another bun in the oven… and running around after my 15 mo old dealing with nausea and all that fun…well…let's just say finding the time to write has been difficult. I have a nice vacation coming up in Feb which I plan to do lots of writing on. So hopefully you'll be getting inundated by my updates once again.
Much love
See ya next chapter