New Meanings To Old Words: Love

I'M BACK!

So, I done had me a baby ( a beautiful, healthy baby girl named Hannah Grace) and now I'm working to re-establish myself here with this fic. I'm getting way too far behind for my liking. I've got a bit of time here and there, so don't expect too much right off…but yeah. We're rockin' and rollin' along again people. And while it may not seem like we have far left to go in this journey, believe me, we've still got a lot of ground to cover.

Bless you all for hanging in there, and I can only hope I haven't lost too many of you as a result of my lengthy hiatus.

Now…

This one's a vignette…because it's not really a plot mover-forwarder. But with respects to the development of the characters I thought I wouldn't be doing justice to anyone if I left this out.

So without further ado…

As always, read, review and most of all enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Callie and the crew of misfits (and all their grand little side adventures).

Vignette – Comfortably Numb

"Do I even want to know what that was all about?" Callie's voice rang out and Andrea's head lifted from where she'd settled it in her hands. She stared for a few seconds as Callie shifted on her feet, her body leaning casually against the trunk of the large tree not far off from the picnic table Andrea was seated out.

Unbidden and uncontrolled Andrea's eyes rolled ever so slightly and Callie's lips quirked in a bit of a smile as she continued to rub at her hands with a worn rag. Tucking the rag into her pocket Callie ducked her head and then shifted her eyes towards the farm house behind her.

"That was," Andrea's hand lifted, fingers wiggling as she searched the air for the right words. She took a breath, shaking her head and firming her lips she looked back to Callie and shrugged slightly before raking her hand through her wind-blown hair. "I don't even know what that was. I helped-"

"Maggie and Lori said you basically handed her a knife," Callie said in a matter-of-fact tone as she stepped closer. Andrea's brow narrowed and she snapped a glare over her shoulder causing the other woman to lift her hands in defense. "Hey, I know that's not what happened I'm just tryin' to-" Callie cut herself off and let out a low suffering sort of sigh that had Andrea's glare falling away. She watched Callie place a few fingers to the bridge of her nose and rub idly at what Andrea had to figure was the world's largest headache. Callie's hand moved away a few moments later and she let it fall like a dead weight to her side as she shook her head. "I don't know what the fuck I'm tryin' to do."

Andrea rolled her eyes again and shook her head as Callie crossed her arms over her chest. They sat that way for a few moments, and Andrea found herself shifting her eyes over to where Callie stood surveying the area. The strange bit of tension that had flowed between the two of them ever since the incident with Daryl was fast becoming a distant memory. Andrea's mind shifted back to T-Dog's recounting of Callie's words earlier about putting her on watch without a moment's hesitation. Andrea watched Callie for a few more seconds, noting the way that the woman rubbed at her hands.

"Is she alright?" Andrea asked finally, knowing that Callie had been in there helping Patricia with Beth's wounds until Hershel made his way to the house. Callie's eyes slipped up to her, a moment of shock and confusion crossing the other woman's face briefly before she nodded.

"It was a shallow cut," Callie said calmly, her eyes skipping down to her hands briefly before she ran them along her pants. Andrea watched Callie push off of the tree and settle her hands into her back pockets before nodding in reply and looking away. She looked away because Callie's obvious unease with the situation didn't need to be met with the small bit of a smile that had formed on her lips. She looked away because she couldn't help that unbidden response from coming forth on her face.

It was a shallow cut.

Of course it was. Beth wanted to live.

Andrea let the smile grow just a bit more, but smothered it at the sound of Callie shifting on her feet. Blinking a few times and looking at her own hands Andrea shook away the slight sense of pride she had in knowing she'd helped that girl see the truth and worked to ease the mind of another member of their group that thought she'd just overstepped her bounds.

"I didn't mean-" Andrea began, but stopped herself, knowing it was a lie. She looked back to Callie and saw the other woman smile slightly and Andrea sighed. "I wasn't wrong."

"Right and wrong," Callie muttered as she again shifted her eyes off into the distance towards the RV. "I think I've had enough of figuring out what's right and what's wrong today." Callie continued to stare at the RV and Andrea watched, intrigued by the other woman's words. She wanted to ask about them, but knew better than most that Callie wasn't really the type to divulge more information than she wanted to. Callie sighed and Andrea lifted a brow. "I'm not here to reprimand you," Callie continued lifting her hands from her back pockets and waving them in front of her in a surrendering motion. "As someone who's held a gun to her head and thought about it," Callie said, her voice taking on a tone that Andrea hadn't heard from her before. "I agree wholeheartedly with you. We need to make those decisions ourselves, they can't just be forced anymore. Either we want to live and go on living, surviving no matter what the odds. Or not. That girl can't be watched for the rest of her life and protected from all the shit around her, no matter how much we may want to. I just don't know if the world works that way anymore."

Callie shrugged and Andrea stared. She stared long and hard, not really knowing what to say. That little confession was quite honestly a shock. In all the months that Andrea had known Callie she never would have believed that the woman had even for one instant considered opting out. It just didn't seem to fit the image. That confusion she was feeling must have showed on her face because Callie was smiling a bit more and waving a hand in dismissal.

"Did you point that out to Maggie? Or Lori," Andrea snapped back and immediately winced in reaction to the sound of her own voice. She spared a look to Callie and saw that the other woman's smirk was still firmly in place.

"Maggie's in a different world right now," Callie said calmly, her voice not hitching in any sort of defensive tone like Andrea expected. Andrea's brow lifted and Callie continued quietly. "The girl has been living in a strange sort of dream for the past few months, and just had the truth smashed quite forcefully into her face. She and Beth," Callie's head shook and she sighed. "Hell the whole lot of them have been handed a whole bunch of shit in the past couple of days. Maggie's not in a headspace to have anyone explainin' anything to her. And I sure as hell ain't gonna be forcing that on her now. Honestly, Andrea," Callie said almost mockingly laughing as her head shook. "That's her baby sister in there. You know what that's like."

Andrea's eyes snapped away from Callie and off towards the house and again the two women sat in silence. That comfortable silence that Andrea had missed between them. That comfortable type of silence that Andrea didn't seem to be able to find with anyone in the group anymore. Except Shane at times. But those times were growing few and far between as Shane's anger and unease with their current situation, and impatience for a change, reared its head more and more.

"And Lori?" Andrea asked quietly, her mind shifting back to the strange heated argument of a conversation she'd shared with the woman only a few moments before the incident with Beth.

Callie laughed. She laughed, and Andrea's eyes snapped up to watch the woman blatantly stare and continue to chuckle as she gave a flippant thumbs up. Andrea's brow furrowed and Callie shook her head lightly.

"Yeah, sure," Callie said still chuckling slightly. Callie took a moment to settle herself and with a small smile still on her lips she settled her hands at her hips. "She's a mom," Callie said simply, a single brow rising over a tired hazel eye.

Andrea waited for Callie to continue and huffed out an irritated sigh when she didn't. What was it with Callie and these strange stilted conversations she liked to have. Why couldn't the woman just spell it out, why did she constantly have to make a person work-

"So are you, and you seem to understand," Andrea snapped back cutting off her thoughts and working to turn the tables on the woman. She should have known better though. She really should have.

"No, I'm not a mother. Not like Lori is," Callie said quietly her eyes shifting back towards the Greene's house. "I didn't carry those kids, didn't give birth to them, nurture and raise them to be the people they are. I love them, without a shadow of a doubt, without any conditions, sure. And I'll try my damndest to be a mother for those kids, because they asked me to, and because they need and deserve it after everything they've been through. But I'm not a mother like Lori," Callie looked back and must have seen the confusion written clearly on Andrea's face because she sighed before continuing.

"You mean you're not naïve and overbearing," Andrea muttered looking away. She stared at the dirt settled deep beneath her fingernails and listened to Callie shift on her feet.

"I think we're all a little naïve," Callie said in return and Andrea peered over at her. The small smirk on the other woman's face told her that she partly agreed with Andrea's assessment of Lori, but wasn't going to give in and verbalize it. "None of us know what to expect out of this whole damned situation. None of us can be expected to make all the right choices, or even know what the right choices are."

"There's a difference between naiveté and ignorance, Callie," Andrea responded. Callie's head tilted to the side slightly and Andrea turned to face her fully. "The way that woman is acting," Andrea's hand lifted out towards the house in the distance and shook her head angrily. "She's got this holier than thou act down to an art. She has no qualms about trying to maintain a level of demeaning societal norms that just aren't practical, aren't even remotely necessary anymore. She's working under the assumption that she can just censure and coddle Carl and that everything will just turn out fine in the end. She has no idea what this world is really like and deems herself fit to look down upon those of us who actually do. She feels that if we, as women, aren't in the kitchen cooking or cleaning up after our men-folk, then we aren't helping the situation. She is off in her own little fantastical world where everything turns out peachy-keen and there isn't a damn person here that's willing to step up and tell her what's what."

"Well, shit Andrea, tell me what you really think," Callie said back as Andrea gasped in a deep breath. Callie's brow lifted and a smile tilted her lips as Andrea sighed in frustration. "I'm guessing there's a bit more going on between you and Lori other than the whole situation with Beth, hmmm?"

"I'm not wrong, Callie," Andrea said in return, her hand lifting as she worked to wave off Callie's slightly sarcastic tone. Callie's hands lifted in mock defense and then settled at her hips drawing Andrea's eyes to the holster—Rick's holster- and guns settled there. "She has a completely unrealistic view of this world, the way it is now. I'm not looking down on her because she's a mother. I understand the importance of the role she plays in her son's life, and I understand that she's not trained to do anything else. But neither was I," Andrea said pointing to her chest. "She is living in a dream world. She hasn't lost anyone, hasn't had to deal with that horror, so I understand. She doesn't feel the need, but honestly does she want Carl to suffer the same fate as Sophia, or Jenna," Andrea's eyes lifted and she snapped her mouth shut as soon as the red-head's name filtered out of her mouth. She watched Callie look away, and felt a pang of regret at the mention of the girl.

Andrea firmed her lips as a beat of silence flowed between them. She felt the urge to apologize for bringing up Jenna's fate. She felt the urge, but knew she didn't need to say it. Callie had done everything she could to prepare that girl for the world around them, and she didn't need Andrea to remind her of that.

"She's naïve, and it's a dangerous kind of naïve," Andrea continued solemnly after a beat. "She hasn't had to deal with the horror of the world, and she's constructed this dream world just like Hershel did for his family. She's bringing another child into this world, and doesn't seem to realize how utterly selfish and delusional that act is."

Callie nodded slightly, her fingers playing along the belt of the holster at her hips as she shifted her eyes back towards the house in the distance. The silence lingered in the air between them, and Andrea wondered just what was rolling around in Callie's head. She wondered if Callie agreed, or if she was going to defend the woman or if -

"Lori's family was in Atlanta," Callie said out of the blue, her eyes shifting to her feet for a second and then up to Andrea. "Her mother and her sisters," Callie continued her fingers shifting away from her holster and settling back into her back pockets as she rocked back on her heels. "Shane told me that our first night at the Quarry. Said they were workin' to get to them when they got stuck on the road. Lori watched as they napalmed the city and what was left of her family." Andrea's lips firmed tight and she bit at the inside of her cheek as Callie held her gaze. "She didn't hold them in her arms, or watch them die, but she lost them just the same. And she'd lost Rick at that point too, if you remember. It was just her and Carl-"

"And Shane," Andrea supplied, the bitterness still fresh in her voice.

"Honey," Callie said shaking her head slightly. "I'm not gonna touch the Shane subject with you with a fuckin' ten-foot pole. That's your bag." Callie held Andrea's gaze and Andrea felt the bite of it. She felt the bit of a sting associated with those words, and when Callie's eyes slipped slightly away and off towards the house her gaze followed.

Followed and landed right on the figure of Danny limping slightly along next to Miles and Glenn as they worked their way around porch. Andrea's gaze remained on the man, his arm slung over the younger boy's shoulders as they walked. A sigh slipped out between Andrea's slightly parted lips before she could stop it, and she shook her head at herself in an effort to displace the odd sense of guilt she felt. She had no reason to feel guilty for what happened between her and Shane. She was an adult and fully aware of each and every decision she'd made since the CDC. And it wasn't like Danny was holding it over her head, he had been relatively distant as of late, but so had Callie. So had everyone. It was as if the whole group was just closing up and keeping things closer to their vests since Sophia stumbled out of that barn.

There was absolutely no reason to feel guilty when she looked at Danny hobbling slowly beside Miles. So what was that feeling flitting across her chest and causing that twinge?

Regret?

Andrea's eyes shifted to where Callie was now staring directly at her and she sat up straighter on the bench seat. Shifting her shoulders around and shaking off the last of the remnants of whatever the hell she was feeling, she held Callie's gaze.

"I wasn't wrong for what I did back there," Andrea said pointing a finger towards the house in the distance. Callie continued to stare at her and Andrea stared back, not willing to be pulled in by the other woman's silent game of cat and mouse. "I wasn't wrong, Callie." After another second Callie sighed and let her chin drop to her chest a bit, she stared at her feet in the dirt and Andrea watched her head bob in a small idle nod. Callie's eyes lifted after another second and Andrea lifted her chin in defiance to whatever was teetering on the tip of Callie's tongue.

Instead, Callie settled her hand on Andrea's shoulder and squeezed just a bit before letting her fingers slide off. Andrea's brow furrowed as she watched Callie make her way towards the RV again. "I wonder. Can we be wrong now, Andrea?" Callie asked over her shoulder as she walked, her eyes catching Andrea's with a sad little smile before waving off and turning away again. "And honestly," Callie's voice took on a bit of an edge s her eyes shifted over her shoulder. "If you really believe that Lori doesn't understand exactly what bringing that baby into this world entails, then who's really bein' naïve."

Andrea stared at Callie's retreating back. She felt her jaw go slack just a bit as she tried to form some kind of response to Callie's final words. Some way to gain the last word. But nothing came. Damn her.

Miles shifted idly, his eyes downcast staring at his shoes while he let his shoulders slump against the wall behind him. His gaze shifted to the bat he held in a loose grip between his fingers. He stared at the used-to-be white tape that circled the grip and handle and snarled a bit at the sight of the dried diseased blood of the undead caked into it. He'd need to re-tape it soon. Maybe some duct tape or something. Something that wouldn't show the gore so fuckin' well. His eyes slid up the barrel of the bat catching on where the wood splintered just a bit in places, stained just as deeply as the tape around the grip. He snarled, knowing no matter how hard he cleaned it or how much tape he applied he wasn't ever gonna get the thing to look like it had before.

Nothing would get it that clean again. Nothing would get it back to the way it was the first time he saw it.

Brand-new. Shinin' like some kind of prize in the sun as his brother Steven held it over his shoulder and begged their dad to take it on the road-trip to Georgia Tech.

Miles' hand tightened around the grip and his eyes shifted at the sound of rustling near the doorway to his right. His head snapped up, his eyes lifting just in time to meet the stoic gaze of Doctor Greene as he stood at the doorway. The Doc looked just as startled as Miles at first, his hand frozen on the knob of the door as his feet just barely skimmed over the threshold out into the hallway. After a single beat Hershel firmed his lips and finished his exit from the room, and Miles shifted up from his slumped position to stand tall as the elder man continued to eye him. Not with suspicion, but with some other kind of look that Miles was pretty sure only people of a certain age and a certain life-experience level could actually master. Hershel pulled the door as he exited, but to Miles' surprise he left it slightly ajar. Hershel's fingers slipped slowly off the knob and he gave a small nod to Miles as he shifted past him, his larger shoulder barely brushing into Miles as he walked down the hall.

Miles turned, his gaze riveted to the man who had just walked past. His brow furrowed for a moment as he watched the elder man disappear out of sight. No last look over his shoulder to see what Miles was gonna do. Not a word against what the man had to know was his plan. Nothing. Just a look and a small, almost imperceptible, nod.

The fuck was that?

Miles scratched at the back of his neck with one hand, before snaking it up over his head and under the brim of his hat. He wiped at his sweaty brow before shifting Jim's old hat off of his head. Rolling it so that the brim fit into his back pocket he shifted his eyes back to the slightly ajar door. Letting out a huff of a breath he squared his shoulders, used the tip of his bat to open the door and walked through.

Her eyes were closed, and Miles wasn't sure if she was actually sleeping or just faking it to avoid another conversation. He shifted forward quietly, his bat knocking against his shin idly as he pushed the door most of the way closed. His eyes lingered on the small amount of space between the door and the jamb, expecting to see Hershel or Maggie or Patricia out there staring back at him. Reprimanding him for being in there. Or fuck, even that prick Jimmy, staring in with nostrils flaring wanting to pummel him for over-stepping whatever fuckin' boundaries that boy believed existed.

But no one was there. Idly, Miles wondered if he wanted someone to be there. Wanted someone to usher him out before he committed to whatever he was about to do here. His mouth twitched to the side and he let his gaze slip over his shoulder, his eyes immediately locking with the slightly narrowed ones of Beth. He felt his eyes go wide, and his hand tighten on his bat as the shock of the girl's straightforward, yet tired gaze, rocketed through him. He remained locked in his spot by the door, his fingers still on the door knob while Beth continued to just stare at him. A few tense beats of silence passed before Beth shifted her gaze back to the window, a sigh slipping from her lips before she spoke.

"You're not supposed to be here," Beth muttered as she shifted so that her head was tilted away from him. Miles lifted a brow at the familiar start to the conversation and couldn't really help the bit of a smirk that filtered onto his lips. He shook his head slightly as he walked away from the door and to the chair near the bed that Hershel had no doubt been sitting in only moments ago.

"Yeah, well," Miles plopped down in the chair and met her annoyed gaze with a smile as she turned to face him again. Her brow furrowed, the anger in her expression almost overtaking the obvious fatigue. Almost. Miles settled his elbows to his thighs and held his bat between his legs tapping lightly on the instep of each of his worn shoes. Stained horrible battered lookin' shoes, just like his bat.

"Daddy's comin' back," Beth said with a bit more force, her eyes shifting to the door and then back to Miles. "He's not gonna like you being here."

"Ran into him as I was comin' in," Miles said with a shrug, as his eyes lifted back to her. "Figure if he didn't want me in here with you he coulda told me then. Guess your old man don't want you to be alone just yet. You know, just in case…."

Beth glared at him for a second longer before looking away again, leaving Miles to stare at the side of her face. The sunlight filtering in through the slightly open curtains and illuminated the white blonde hair around her head, making it look like a halo as she lay there. Fly away curls around her face tickling at the side of her neck and sticking to her skin at odd angles. He stared for a second longer before looking away again, his eyes again locking on his bat while his mind slipped back to a place he didn't want it to go.

Back to a room similar to this, only a few doors away. A room where another girl lay on a bed, her hair in disarray around her, and her body too weak to really respond the way she wanted to. A girl so lost and alone and scared. Scared of what was to come.

Jenna.

Miles shook off the memory of the red-head, willing his mind to go blank so that he could focus. He stared hard at the stained grip of his bat, his hands clenching and unclenching around it as he took in a few slow breaths. He was so intent upon the stains, and clearing his head that he didn't realize Beth had spoke until she cleared her throat and repeated herself.

"I said, why are you here? Daddy didn't send you in here," Beth's low, angry voice echoed a bit in his ears and he lifted a slightly confused gaze to her stern face. "He wouldn't send you in here."

It took him a minute to fully process the question she was asking. Took him a minute to actually realize the truth of the matter.

"I don't know," Miles mumbled as his chin shifted down to his chest and his eyes back to the bat still settled on the floorboards between his feet. He heard her huff out a discontented sigh but didn't bother to look back up at her. He didn't really wanna watch her blue eyes settle on him in disdain again. Didn't want to see that tiredness on her face, and that hopelessness deep her eyes.

Miles listened as Beth shifted under the thin quilt atop her, listened to her disgruntled breaths as they puffed out at his continued presence in her room. After a few seconds of silence, he lifted his eyes to see her staring intently at the bandage wrapped around her slit right wrist. Miles watched her before lowering his gaze back to his shoes and his bat. Clearing his throat and keeping his eyes on that stained piece of wood he choked out his next words.

"I'm sorry 'bout your mom and your brother," Miles started, his voice cracking just a bit. He cleared his throat again and ignored the feel of her eyes landing on him as he continued, knowing that if he looked up he'd lose his nerve. "I know what that's like," Miles continued in an off-hand manner as his head began to bob a bit. "Know it real well. Mom she died, early. Her and dad, same day. She told us to leave 'em, so we did. Left them to die in that fuckin' motel outside of Macon. Then there was Steve," Miles tightened his grip on the bat in his hands. "I beat his head in with this bat when he turned. Then spent the next three hours throwing up beside his corpse."

Miles looked up at that moment, hoping that his eyes didn't betray him and let that bit of moisture collecting at the edges to fall. He caught her gaze, and couldn't decide if it was confusion on her face or pity-or both-so he looked away again. Unable to handle either reaction he chose to ignore her completely and looked back down to his feet. He could still feel her gaze on him but pushed through, realizing that maybe he needed this just as much as she did.

"I thought about it," Miles muttered to his stained up shoes, that gaze of hers still on him. He pushed past that continued beat of uneasiness and got to the heart of the matter. "Couldn't really stop thinkin' about it after Steve," Miles shook his head at the memories of those early days. Those days when he'd been so lost and so…ready for the end. Ready to just give up. "I don't really think there's a single person here that can claim that they haven't thought about it at least once since this whole shit started. Especially not after losing their family," Miles took a breath and let it out slowly between his clenched teeth. "I thought about it a lot after Steve. Thought about all the ways I could do it-" Miles cut himself off again and stared at his fingers as they picked at the tape on the grip of his bat. "But I couldn't…"

He stopped there, not really knowing what the fuck he was talking about anymore. He'd come in there to - shit what had he come in there to do? Tell her all about his own losses? Let her know she wasn't alone? Let her know that she wasn't wrong for wanting out of this fucked up new world? What the hell was that going to do? Just make her wanna try again.

Way to go, Miles. Way to go.

His eyes slipped over to the door he'd entered through, half expecting Hershel to be standing there admonishing him with that steely-eyed fatherly glare he had. But there wasn't anyone there, just that partially opened door, and a sliver of darkness beyond the threshold. The silence stretched on for a long time, a lot longer than Miles was really comfortable with and he shifted his ass in the seat a bit. He could still feel Beth's eyes on him and instead of looking back into those tired blue eyes of hers he chose to again stare at his bat.

"You think I'm stupid for doin' it? Weak?" the quiet muttering of Beth's voice shocked Miles into looking up at her. She was staring at the bandage wrapped around her right wrist as she spoke, the tone of her voice almost demeaning. She sneered at the bandage but not at him.

"No," Miles said quietly, his voice tight as her gaze lifted to his. She stared at him and he shook his head again. "Not even a little bit," Miles said plainly as he lifted his hand to the back of his neck to brush away the odd sensation crawling there.

A long beat of silence fell between the two of them, and Miles sat there trying to figure out why he was actually still sitting there. Beth had returned her gaze to the bandage on her wrist, her eyes locked there as her mind entered into another internal battle. A battle that he felt like he was intruding on. And as he again locked his eyes upon his bat and it's stained up wood and dirty fuckin' tape. He couldn't really seem to shrug himself out of the pit that he'd worked so hard to push far away from in the few months since his family had -

Miles shook his head and finally just pushed himself to his feet, his hand clenching tight around the grip of his bat. He didn't spare Beth a look as he stepped away from that strangely comfortable chair settled beside her bed. He really didn't spare anything a second thought as he worked his way back towards the slightly open door to her room. He needed to get out of this house; it's walls were clogged with memories that were too damn close to be suffocating to have any real sense of comfort to him anymore. It wasn't until the fingers of his free hand had touched onto the doorknob that Beth's quiet voice echoed out again.

"How did you do it?" Beth asked, and Miles turned on a dime. He knew that his face must have held a bit of the anger that he'd been holding in as he stared at her in confusion because her eyes darted away and back to the bandage on her wrist the second they met his. Miles' brow twitched just a bit and he watched her slender fingers play with the small frayed end of the bandage, her lips working through the words again, her voice barely registering. "How did you get past the want to do it? I mean, what made you keep going?"

Miles let his eyes drift back down to the bat in his hands and he firmed his lips for a second before answering her.

"My mom," Miles said quietly, his voice matching hers in the low registering timber. "She always said that a person's not really gone until there's no one left to remember them. After Danny and Callie saved my ass, and I told them what had happened, they helped me remember… I was the only person left to keep my family from disappearing for good." Miles let out a self-deprecating sort of sigh as he shook his head, his eyes once again shifting to the floorboards before muttering his next statement. "Sounds more stupid out loud than it did in my head."

A beat of silence followed, a beat that Miles felt deep in his chest as it extended through the room. He stood there for a few more seconds, listening to the rustling of the girl lying exhausted, confused and scared in her bed before turning back towards the door and lifting his foot to step out. Hoping that the weight that had settled on his shoulders and in his chest would dissipate with distance.

"Miles?" Beth's voice called out, still tired and shaking with pent-up emotion. She cleared her throat and blinked her eyes as Miles looked back and she sniffed back whatever was causing her voice to shake before tilting her chin up and holding his gaze. "I'm sorry about your family."

"I'm sorry about yours," Miles said quietly in return. His head turned away from her for a second before he looked back and caught her eyes again. "This is gonna sound…It sounds stupid but, it gets better. It doesn't ever go away, but it gets… bearable. You gotta come to terms with it. Figure it out." He firmed his lips before letting a very small smile crack over his face. "You gotta hold on to what you still got, and realize that no matter what it may feel like in the dark of the night when all you're left with are those horrible memories… You gotta realize and know that you're not alone, and hold on to that. Hold on tight. So tight that eventually you just go numb."

"Numb?" Beth echoed, her brow furrowing just a bit as she once again played with the frayed edge of the bandage on her wrist. She looked up at him and held his gaze. "Are you numb?"

"Pffft," Miles said shaking his head and knocking his bat lightly off the doorjamb next to his leg. "I wish."

She smiled then, just a bit and he couldn't help but smile back. They weren't real smiles, just ghosts of painless days and happier times, but they marked a new understanding between the pair. Miles nodded his head idly a few times and then left the room. His fingers slipped off the knob as he pulled the door shut behind him and lifted his eyes to the man leaning smugly down the hall a bit.

"So…." Danny smirked after saying it, his long arms crossed nonchalantly over his chest as his head bobbed. Miles felt the slight creeping of a blush on his cheeks that he forced down with a sneer as he worked towards the other man. He knew that Danny probably recognized the words, seeing as how they were almost verbatim what he and Callie had said to Miles not long after they picked him up all those months ago. "Here I thought everything grown-ups said was in one ear and out the other with you teenagers."

"Only when the words are bullshit. Which with you is more often than not," Miles spat back as Danny slapped his hand down hard on to his shoulder. Danny squeezed once and chuckled a bit before falling into step beside Miles as they made their way out of the house.

There is no pain, you are receding

A distant ship smoke on the horizon

You are only coming through in waves

Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying

When I was a child I had a fever

Now I've got that feeling once again

I can't explain, you would not understand

This is not how I am

I have become comfortably numb

~Comfortably Numb/ Pink Floyd

AN: OMGODDAMN. I did it. I got it posted. It's disjointed and I'm sorry about that. I haven't been able to sit down and go through everything and get my flow back completely, but I'm on the road back. So yeah. Here it is. A chapter…vignette. Whatever. There's something new here, and proof positive that this fic hasn't been abandoned.

Love to all of you that have stuck with me. Love to all the new people who are following and reviewing and otherwise bein' awesome. I promise I'm going to be delving back into this shit now. I can't really offer a date when I'll have the next chapter posted….newborns and two-year olds dictate my life right now… but I can promise that it will be posted soon. Like not months off. I've already started working on it. And as an FYI… we're heading 18 Miles Out next chapter, which should be fun!

Okay. I think that's it for now. I'm going to use my much sought after time to myself to sit and write some more.

G'bless peeps. LOVE YOU ALL.