Chapter 14

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Ponyboy's POV

Sometime in the middle of the night I woke up to Soda's loud snoring. I didn't remember Soda ever snoring loud before. I felt my stomach start to churn and to avoid a major cleanup I threw myself out of bed.

I had barely made it to the bathroom as the acid taste burned my throat yet again and I tried fighting to keep it down. I proceeded to vomit up what little dinner I ate in the toilet.

Darry had to work tomorrow, so I tried to be as quiet as possibly. I didn't wake up Darry, but I did wake up Soda.

I could hear him get out of bed and the rustling of the sheets. The pounding of his feet as he walked, paralleled the pounding created in my head. I groaned and threw up a little more.

I heard Soda sit down behind me and felt him rub my back. I was sick of this, not being able to do anything and feeling so awful.

"It's alright," I heard Soda say behind me. I spit bile into the toilet and leaned on Soda, feeling exhausted.

Soda helped me up and back into bed, but the pressure was too much. I sat up and waited till Soda's breathing evened out and then slipped out of bed.

I decided not to turn the TV on in case it woke up Darry; he had been picking up a lot of extra shifts, and so had Soda. I couldn't help but feel so guilty; if I wasn't sick then they wouldn't have to overwork themselves and worry about me. Maybe when my headaches were better I should get a job, I mused.

My head eventually stopped pounding so hard, so I grabbed a blanket and curled up on the couch and fell asleep quickly.

X

When I woke up only Two-Bit was there. Darry and Soda, like usual, must have already been at work; they worked way too much. I was worried that they would get sick; Soda would become so exhausted after dealing with me all the time and Darry would have an aneurysm.

"Hey Two-Bit," I greeted, sitting up. I noticed that the pounding in my head was a dull throb now.

"Hey Kid. You feelin' up to some homework?" He asked, just making conversation.

"Not really," I muttered bitterly, "But I'm going to try and read." I was frustrated with doing nothing day in day out.

"Alright Kid. I'm going to make some lunch for us," Two-Bit informed me.

"Alright," I mumbled.

After last night I was feeling hungry again and I wanted to rid my mouth of the horrible bile taste.

I went into my room and searched the bookshelf in my room for a good book to read. My eyes landed on the cover of Gone with the Wind.

I picked it up and tried to focus on the words about gallant men, but my head was pounding, making it extremely difficult to concentrate and my eyes squinted at the writing; suddenly the words just looked so small.

I threw my book across the room angrily. It wasn't fair, I could never do anything! Why couldn't I accept this and maybe it would stop? I thought.

It had been my reality for two months now, I show be used to this; my new life.

I sighed heavily and rubbed my head. My stomach grumbled and I hear Two-Bit's voice from outside my room telling me lunch was ready.

I glanced at my thrown book on the floor and figured I would get back to that later and walked out to the living room and sat down on the couch. Two-Bit was already there with a few sandwiches on a plate.

I flopped onto the couch and grabbed one of the sandwiches, taking a bite, but feeling so lost in thought.

"Hey Ponyboy, you okay?"

"Yeah Two-Bit just thinkin'...I'm just so tired of being tired and feeling horrible and like I'm letting Soda and Darry down because I'm not getting better," I complained.

Two-Bit sat up next to me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

"Don't think like that kid. I'm sure Soda and Darry don't mind, they just care about you, so do Steve-o and I; though he might not show it. You will get better Pony, just think that you will and it'll happen. At least that's what my Mom always says," Two-Bit encouraged.

I smiled at Two-Bit, "Thanks Two."

"You wanna watch some TV or something?"

"Sure," I mumbled; not like I could do much else.

X

Soda came home around four o'clock that evening and Two-Bit and I were still sitting around on the couch.

"Hey you two, you been lazing about there all day?" Soda asks with a smile.

"It's what I do best," Two-Bit joked and I couldn't help but laugh.

"It's good to see you a bit happier again Pony," Soda mentioned.

Two-Bit exchanged a glance at me. "He wasn't before."

Thanks Two-Bit, I thought. Great way to rat me out to Soda, he's tired as it is.

Soda furrowed his eyebrow at me. "Pony, were you sick again?"

I fiddled with the couch cushion. "Soda you just got home from work, I'm fine," I mumbled; though I don't think he was very convinced.

Two-Bit got up off the floor. "Well-up I best be going home, I think my Mom wants me home for dinner."

Soda shook his head and laughed. "Is all you ever think about, is food?"

"Nah, beer and girls top the list, you know that Soda, right Ponyboy?" Two-Bit smirked.

"Hmm," I grunted.

"See ya Sodapop, Ponyboy. Get better kid." Two-Bit called.

As soon as Two-Bit had shut the door Soda was sitting down next to me.

"Pony tell me what happened," he said gently.

"I don't want to talk about it."

I was sick of talking about how I felt too.

"Come on Pone, I need to know."

"I've just had enough of feeling like this Soda, being sick all the time, feeling hot and cold, sweaty and these stupid headaches!" I spoke, feeling very frustrated and hitting my head with my hand.

Soda wrapped his arms around me. "Oh Pony, you can't be angry about it. I know it's not fair but it just happened and we just have to deal with it as it comes and move on."

"I tried to read a book today but the words kept getting fuzzy and my head throbbed. I can't do anything anymore Soda!" I exclaimed.

Soda rubbed my arm roughly, trying to get me to calm down I guess. I pulled away and stood up.

"I'm gonna go to my room for awhile."

"Sure Pone, you call if you need anything." I nodded in reassurance and left.

Entering my room I sat on the bed and sighed, thinking over what Soda had said to me. I noticed my copy of Gone with the Wind, thrown on the floor. I leaned over the bed to grab it and as I did so a piece of paper fell from inside the cover.

My eyes landed on the piece of paper that fell out of my favorite book, and would not leave. It was Johnny's letter.

"Stay Gold, Ponyboy, Stay Gold," Johnny's voice rang in my head, his last words to me.

I picked up the letter and began reading it and realized that no matter what happened, Johnny never did give up and never wanted me to either. That was what I had to do, fight my cluster headache condition and move on so I could live as much of my normal life as possible.

Who knows how long I'll have the condition for and I wasn't about to lose my life like Johnny lost his.