Chapter Three "He woke up with a mouthful of ancestor."

Day Thirty (One Month)

He woke up with a mouthful of ancestor.

(No, not like that. Mind out of the gutter please, you're just as bad as Yamamoto and Yuni.)

That is to say that Tsuna woke up to a mostly empty bed (intuition was a lovely thing sometimes – he could tell who was in his bed now without opening his eyes because of the sheer need to develop such a skill) and his cheek pressed against a clothed shoulder, of which he was literally chewing on. His first coherent thought was –

"Reborn, it's not nice to kick the others out; I can't deal with Lambo crying this morning and Byakuran's going to bug me for the rest of the day."

(When the Milliefiore boss sulked, it was as if to win an award. Tsuna had had to endure his 'pouty' face for about six hours just a few days ago and had given in just after four to hug the man turned five year old little girl who wasn't getting her way. Recalling Byakuran's smirk that day, Tsuna wondered if the other had planned it.)

- but the laugh he got in return, while masculine, was not Reborn.

Due to fight or flight instincts ingrained from his Spartan hitman tutor (mostly fight because of how ruthless he had been), Tsuna tried to throw himself off the bed and was caught around the thighs by strong arms, his body dragged back onto the mattress even as his hands scrambled at blankets and carpet alike in desperation.

The thought of what Reborn would do if he knew Tsuna had lost a fight in his own bed, in his own mansion incited Tsuna to struggle harder.

(He thought far enough ahead to snatch a blanket as he careened over the edge when pyjama pants and boxers alike were tugged down – sacrificed! - during the fight for freedom.)

Now sat on the floor, covers held to his chest like he was some sort of...(he would have said 'virgin' but considering he was one and so couldn't really compare himself to being like one, he begrudgingly settled on 'woman'. It made sense to him at least), he took a good long look at who had invaded his bed and gotten rid of his other companions.

"Oh god, what, no. This is ridiculous, I thought you came to me in times of great need or peril or...or...when I'm wearing the ring or gloves! I'm not even wearing it; it's on the bedside locker! And my gloves aren't here either! Look at my hands! Glove and ring free!" Tsuna then groaned in anguish, dropping the blanket so it was pooled in his lap and tugged on his hair angrily.

Giotto, sat on the bed cross legged and still holding onto Tsuna's pants and underwear, offered a winning smile as if he had no excuse for being there.

Of course this was the moment when Gokudera breezed in cheerfully to wake Tsuna up (Tsuna later found out the others had left him one by one to sleep because of his increasingly hectic nights and that was why they weren't there – it was already eleven twenty) and the atmosphere turned sour as the Storm Guardian took in the situation.

Tsuna should've expected what came next really.

(He didn't, however, expect the phone call from Enma later that day when the redhead asked why his ancestor had appeared, asking over Tsuna when he was pretty sure that Cozart had never seen the brunette before.

Giotto, sat on Tsuna's desk opposite him at the time, had helpfully offered that it was him who had put the notion of Tsuna in Cozart's head in the first place – Tsuna chose, for the sake of his sanity, not to ask how two men who were supposedly dead communicated in the afterlife or had even appeared in his life in the first place.

Tsuna's attempt at punching his ancestor failed and Giotto had used it as an excuse to wrap the smaller body up in his arms and cloak, claiming he was shielding the other from the world. Tsuna callously declared he should worry about shielding Tsuna from himself instead of worrying about others.)

Day Thirty One (One Month, Day One)

"Please tell me you came for Reborn."

Fon was frozen in the doorway of Tsuna's office, hand still holding on the doorknob from where he'd pushed the door open since he'd been called in.

(He had an almost slack jawed, somewhat humorous, expression but Tsuna was polite enough not to point this out.)

"Because if you have, that would be – " Tsuna abruptly shrieked and tried to get to his feet. The arms around his waist tightened and he cleared his throat, trying to make himself look respectful, even as he hissed from the corner of his mouth, "Reborn, I cannot work sat on your lap – move your hand before I try to break it off – and act properly, we have a guest!"

"I-I can come back later...it isn't imperative that I see Reborn."

Tsuna twisted his head around to face Fon again – he'd faced away to scold Reborn – and widened his eyes in worry that the other would leave, mouthing, help me! desperately to the Storm Arcobaleno.

"No, it's okay! If you need to talk to him, go ahead. I'm not here!"

(Except he was here and was probably going to have had an anxiety attack by the end of the day if Reborn didn't stop touching him in inappropriate places.)

Fon approached slowly, if warily, like he was walking towards a skittish animal (Tsuna certainly felt like an animal of some sort, trapped into a corner by a voracious predator, the predator being Reborn and the metaphorical corner his lap) and was rewarded with a bright smile from the Decimo in return, who stuck his hand out for a handshake in polite greeting.

(His hyper intuition should have flared when Fon's fingers touched his.)

The long haired Arcobaleno reached out and took a firm hold of Tsuna's hand.

(These things happened too often lately and that was probably why he didn't realise the other's intent before it was too late.)

Tsuna gave his hand a brisk shake and smiled again, eyes closing with the expression (if he'd seen Fon's responding expression, he would have run screaming) as he said, "If I could leave for you to talk to Reborn, I would. Unfortunately, I'm sort of stuck." When he had finished speaking he loosened his fingers around Fon's hand and was surprised when the other didn't do the same.

Suddenly Fon shot forward, his inner martial artist showing with his speed, and wrapped his free arm around Tsuna's shoulders. In the same movement he yanked back and pulled Tsuna halfway from Reborn's lap who retaliated too late by tightening his arms only to have Tsuna slip out of his hands as he was pulled over the desk. (These wild moves dragged papers and stationary alike onto the floor, though Tsuna was sort of numb to the terror ignited by the mess by now.)

Fon, with his prize of the Vongola Decimo held securely to his front, gave a smile to Reborn and darted for the door, ignoring how Tsuna was sobbing at the inevitability and injustice of it all.

(Tsuna later found out both his hip and shoulder had been dislocated in the ensuing tug of war between two of some of the world's strongest fighters and was repaid by the two of them coddling him for the remainder of the day.

Just lying there and playing dead was the safest bet at the time.

Reborn still found time to grope him during it.)

Day Thirty Three (One Month, Day Two)

"I don't care if you're my ancestor; get out of my shower!"

(The door of the bathroom had been deadlocked and reinforced ever since the incident with Hibari but it still didn't stop someone from thudding into it and trying to rip it open at Tsuna's shriek.

Tsuna was just immensely glad that not only had he pulled back the shower curtain before dropping his towel, but that Giotto's default appearance was clothed. Giotto looked more than a little disappointed but Tsuna decided to ignore his expression.)

Day Thirty Four (One Month, Day Four)

Tsuna stared up at the tall blond almost nervously, hands clenched at his sides and his eyes narrowed with anxiety. (He didn't know what he was waiting for, but his instincts screamed that it wouldn't be good.)

"I don't see what's so cute about you, kora, for Reborn and Fon to get into blows over you the other day," Colonello commented critically, (this was a first and Tsuna was delightfully startled that his instincts turned out wrong and that this person wasn't strangely obsessed with him like the others) peering down at the young Vongola boss and was almost disarmed by Tsuna's bright, cheery smile as the Vongola boss reached forward to exuberantly shake his hand in both of his own.

(Tsuna had run into Colonello when trying to sneak out of his office – the other had been looking for Reborn. At hearing what the blonde had to say, he was hard pressed not to say something impulsive or throw his arms around the other. That would be too unprofessional.)

"Oh, thank god you think like that Colonello-san!" (He kept the urge to say 'marry me' under control.)

Colonello was reminded of the time ten years ago when Tsuna had come to Mafia Land, how his smile and cheeriness was still at an all time high even today, even with the crap the other had to go through (either in the way of fighting, running a Famiglia or tirelessly evading attempts of molestation) and it was somewhat commendable. Almost...

"Fuck. I take it back, kora. You are the cutest goddamn thing I've seen. One of the toughest, too, kora." (Whoops, there it was.)

Tsuna's heart dropped to the deepest, darkest pits of his stomach.

(He briefly recalled the moment of happiness he'd felt at thinking Colonello had only platonic feelings for him before his hopes were crushed into a pulpy mess similar to a piece of fruit in a blender.)

"T-Then can you please just express that in words instead of actions? I'll be forever grateful."

Colonello gave him a rueful grin.

"Sorry. No can do, kora. Have to keep up with Reborn or he'll complain I'm getting soft, kora."

(Colonello ended up tripping him up with his rifle before Tsuna could get far – he tried to run, really! -, and Tsuna just resigned himself to his fate of being carried away over the blonde's shoulder like he was the spoils of war.

He almost felt sorry for Colonello when Reborn came up behind him, since Tsuna could see the expression on the hitman's face while the blonde could not.

Almost.

He didn't appreciate having his hopes dashed, after all. Or being carried off like a sack of potatoes.)

Day Thirty Five (One Month, Day Five)

Mukuro tried giving him the safe sex speech that morning at breakfast.

Tsuna made a strategic escape by smashing Mukuro's face into his bowl of cereal with a well placed smack to the back of the head even as the table had started dissolving into a bed reminiscent to Tsuna's own (startling Chrome and making Gokudera choke on a piece of toast as he tried not to laugh while Lambo knocked over his glass in surprise) before he started running for his life knowing he only had a handful of seconds at most before his short experience of living would come to an end.

(He had now compiled a list of items that could be used defensively if he was pushed far enough. He'd finally managed to incapacitate Mukuro with an umbrella before bursting out of the front doors into the courtyard, tugging his gloves on and launching himself into the air to get away.)

Day Thirty Six (One Month, Day Six)

The first time he used a bathroom other than his en suite was also the last just because of the risks involved.

Squalo accosted him when he came out of the steamy room that evening shortly after dinner, tossing him carelessly over his shoulder and Tsuna came to the realisation he was being forcibly taken against his wishes, or 'kidnapped' if you will.

(He'd shrieked and thrashed because he was dressed in nothing but a towel cinched around his waist though he forced himself to be still when Squalo smacked the bare skin of the back of his thigh in warning, no more than a swat but a deterrent all the same.)

Tsuna didn't know where the swordsman was hoping to take him, but they encountered Hibari in the corridor about ten minutes later after Squalo had shouted angrily about getting lost.

(Tsuna still liked to call the next incident 'World War III' with a completely straight face, despite the fact that the battle had lasted less than twenty minutes. It had still caused damage worth a fortune and not only that, but Tsuna had gotten the blame from Reborn – and, subsequently, the punishment to go with it, even though he was obviously the victim.

If drunk enough or naked enough and prompted, he'd show off the scar he'd gotten on his thigh as a result of Squalo trying to fight Hibari at the same time as having a hold of Tsuna.)

When Hibari had shot at the two of them with a tonfa, Squalo had retaliated by letting his sword slide out – while his arms were still holding Tsuna's legs steady to his chest.

The blade cut through Tsuna's thigh, just about missed neutering him (wouldn't that have been a fun story, Tsuna could just imagine hysterically explaining it in a made up scenario) and instead sliced through his femoral artery. At the same time, Squalo dropped him and leapt forward to clash with Hibari.

Tsuna used his towel to stem the blood flow as best as he could without flashing anything indecent and thought briefly back to his (horrifying) school years and biology lessons as he tried to recall how long it would take him to bleed out.

At this rate, he had about six minutes.

Two minutes into Hibari and Squalo's fight, Tsuna managed to snag an ankle and yanked one of them down (at this moment, he didn't care who because both were equally as scary), squealing in pain as they landed on his lap.

It was Hibari who was sprawled out on his legs, glaring at him, though the anger dissolved into vague confusion and blankness when Hibari lifted a hand and found it dripping with blood.

Tsuna gave him a charming smile (even as his head spun with dizziness) and said as cheerfully as he could (while bleeding to death), "You can continue fighting later Kyoya, Squalo-san, but if I don't get treated immediately, I'm going to die at twenty four in nothing more than a scrap of cloth. If one of you could go and get a Sun user or even someone who can stitch, I'd be grateful."

Hibari's eyes dropped from his face to his lap as if he suddenly realised the situation and then, without remorse or compromise (i.e. pushing the towel up out of the way instead of what he chose to do), promptly ripped the towel away even as Tsuna sluggishly moved to try and intercept him, shrieking about how Hibari shouldn't do what Tsuna thought he was going to do.

(Tsuna assumed he passed out shortly after that point because of bloodloss, but he couldn't get the image of Hibari staring at his crotch with a raised eyebrow and the word 'whao' on his lips, or the fact that Squalo leaned in over his Cloud Guardian's shoulder to steal a glance as well, out of his head.

He later found out Hibari had tonfa'd the Varia member unconscious for it even though Squalo inevitably bragged about it to others – Tsuna didn't even understand what there was to brag about! They were all guys, they had the same equipment!

To this day, Hibari was still smug for being the first one to see and Tsuna gave up telling him not to rub it in everybody's faces after the fourteenth time Hibari had callously mentioned it at the breakfast or dinner table. It was also the fourteenth time Tsuna choked on food or drink because of the other speaking about it like it was something for everyday conversation.)

Day Thirty Seven (One Month, Day Seven)

"You have to hide me Enma," Tsuna moaned. "Reborn's back tonight and he's going to find out what happened yesterday and then do something awful to me."

(It didn't matter in the end that he went to hide at the Shimon headquarters, Reborn found out about his injury and the mess that was caused anyway.)

"Why do you need to hide?"

"There was a fight in the eastern wing and a lot of things got torn up." Tsuna ruffled his hair, shifted his weight to his left leg absentmindedly and then winced, moving to brace his weight on Enma's desk and leaning closer to the Shimon boss as he did so.

"From the sounds of it, I doubt that's the whole story."

"I also lost two pints of blood during the incident and I have this huge cut on the inside of my thigh that's still healing. If Reborn realises I was hurt, do you have any idea what he might do to me? And if he found out I was injured as a bystander dressed in nothing but a towel..." Tsuna shuddered. "I mean, can you – hiee! Enma! What are you doing?!"

Enma had walked briskly around the desk and was now attempting to undo the button of Tsuna's slacks, even as the other hurriedly tried to slap his hands away.

"Checking your injury."

"Its fine, you don't need to check it!" Tsuna pushed his hands away again and Enma abruptly backed him against the wooden piece of furniture. When Tsuna started flailing, somebody from behind him caught his wrists and he jerked his head back in shock, just to come face to face with an upside down and grinning Cozart who was on the other side of the desk, reaching over so he could help his descendant stop Tsuna from moving too much.

(The man materialised out of nothing! Like Giotto did! It was both fascinating and frustrating! He didn't even know how Enma took it in stride like it was normal when apparently he'd only seen the man for the first time just a week ago!)

Tsuna felt his expression twist into disbelief and then horror when he realised he'd taken his attention away from Enma. Using Cozart as leverage – the Primo Shimon boss had a tight grip! – as well as the desk, Tsuna managed to buck his body and attempted to kick Enma.

Enma simply grabbed both legs by the inside of the knees (gently, because he was mindful of what Tsuna had just told him about being injured) and tugged them around his waist, stepping closer to Tsuna who resisted the urge to squeal, trying to push Enma away with his legs. .

"We're not going to hurt you or anything." Enma told him, trying to give him a placating smile as his hands moved back to the fastenings of Tsuna's slacks, pushing out the button before his long, bandaged fingers started working on the zip. "Don't look so worried."

(Tsuna swears up and down to this day that the only reason why he got out of that situation with his dignity intact - and not being stuck with his pants down to his ankles in another boss' office - for another day was because one of Enma's subordinates had burst into the room with news and promptly fainted at the sight he was presented with.

If it had been Adelheid who had walked in, Tsuna didn't know if he would've ended up with another scar, of if the woman would have attempted to help her boss in the removal of his trousers.)

Day Thirty Eight (One Month, Day Eight)

"Be careful!" Tsuna yelped as Reborn's fingers closed down on his shoddily stitched thigh. He was sat on a seat; Reborn knelt in front of him as the Sun Arcobaleno looked at his wound. Tsuna was wearing shorts because he had very firmly told the other he was not getting undressed again by someone other than himself.

(Apparently Shamal hadn't wanted to help him, even when threatened. With Ryohei and Reborn gone at the time, it had ended up being one of the lesser Famiglia members who had stitched Tsuna's thigh while at tonfa-and-various-other-weapons-point. Reborn was taking it upon himself to fix it up. Tsuna didn't know how steep the price was and that scared him more than the look currently on Reborn's face.)

"Careful? Like you were?"

"How the hell was I supposed to know Squalo-san would be there?"

Reborn laughed almost harshly as he replied, "You're a mafia boss Tsuna; show some decorum and attitude befitting of one, like telling someone when they're in the wrong! Or, perhaps, use that intuition of yours to act less embarrassingly!" His hand tightened again and Tsuna squealed in pain, even as Reborn's pacifier, which he still wore around his neck, began flickering with Sun Flames and the ache in Tsuna's leg started to fade away.

"Squalo-san is a member of my Famiglia! I shouldn't be threatened by him like you apparently seem to be!"

Reborn gave a snarl and suddenly jerked up, briefly headbutting Tsuna before their teeth clashed when the hitman initiated (He thought he could have trusted Reborn to be somewhat decent!), squeezing on Tsuna's thigh when the brunette tried to squirm away.

(In the process of getting free, he'd fallen face first into the carpet before kicking his feet out and managing to get a lucky hit of his heel against Reborn's jaw, giving him enough time to run away just to trip over Gokudera's body in the corridor.

Tsuna was upset after that incident, not just for the obvious reason but because he was certain Gokudera had seen – the Storm Guardian had been passed out in the hallway when Tsuna had finally managed to get free. They had only just gotten Gokudera out of his fainting habit, and now it was starting up again.)

Day Forty (One Month, Day Ten)

"You're ranked 'number one most desirable mafia member'."

"Fuuta, stop already please."

"You're also ranked 'most likely to find someone in their bed'." Silence. "It happens that often?"

"You're here aren't you?"

"...Tsuna is ranked 'most likely to be oblivious to sexual advances'."

"Fuuta."

"'Most likely to be groped'."

"Fuuta, I'm warning you."

"'Number one choice for any Mafioso.'"

"Choice for what?"

"'Girlier than a girl'."

"Now that has to be wrong!" Tsuna threw himself at Fuuta who lifted his book out of the way just in time to stop Tsuna from snatching it off of him.

With his frantic dive, Tsuna ended up falling off of the bed, face first, and Fuuta laughed softly at him, leaning down to rest a hand on his side as he said quietly, "It's okay Tsuna. It isn't all bad."

Tsuna just moaned in despair.

(He later found out that all but the last entry were true. He almost sobbed but then simply decided not to and rubbed it in Fuuta's face that he wasn't all that girly.

Fuuta had laughed and demanded he prove it.

Tsuna almost fell for it. Almost.)

Day Forty Two (One Month, Day Eleven)

Tsuna blinked blearily at the figure standing to the side of the bed before he quietly asked over the sound of soft breathing, "Chrome? Why are you just stood there? Where have you been lately?"

(He hadn't seen her since the first time he'd noticed her in his bed. She was at the breakfast and dinner table, but unless it was for reports, she never approached him and always scurried away from him.)

"Recently, I've noticed how uncomfortable you seem with all the people in your bed. I was staying in my bedroom but..." she faltered and then carried on, "I couldn't get comfortable and came to ask permission to sleep with you, boss."

Tsuna felt his heart go out for the female Mist Guardian and wriggled himself around, until an arm was free. He then used that arm to elbow the person next to him (he was pleased in the morning to see a bruise on Byakuran's pectoral muscle – not that he was looking when the Millefiore pulled his shirt on!) until they moved away slightly. With a small space now beside him, Tsuna gestured towards Chrome for her to come closer.

She hesitated for only a second before moving so fast (honestly, he'd never seen her dart forward that quick before, even with all the bodies/obstacles in the way) that he barely saw the blur of movement before she was settling into his side, fingers grasping meekly at his night shirt even as he let his arm fall around her.

"It's uncomfortable, but not unwelcome. I don't think I could sleep without everybody here now."

(Yes, he could. He would give his right arm for a quiet night, but he wasn't going to tell her that.)

"Thank you boss."

"You're welcome Chrome...Please don't do that."

"S-Sorry boss. Mukuro said – "

"Please don't."

"...Yes. Sorry boss."

Here you go! Chapter Three! Or 'I should have been revising for a chemistry test and instead I wrote this'.

Writing this is a good exam stress relief though.

Ohmigosh at all of the reviews, favourites and follows though! Thank you so much! Again, to those anonymous, I can't reply to you personally but I thank you anyway!

By the way, since I don't know when I can update after this (school) here's a teaser for the next chapter title!

Chapter Four "It's like the first time we met but with more nakedness."

I'm going to keep tabs of review votes in chapters but maybe put a poll on my page for others to vote that way, and then just compile them altogether on a document somewhere lol.

I'm also intending to having a separate 'story' filled with oneshots and drabbles of Tsuna's life with his unwanted Harem lmao. I'll be picking people at random to ask them what short oneshot they want and probably (maybe) get round to doing it someday lol. (Yay or nay?)

Reborn: 8
Byakuran: 8
Xanxus: 7
Fon: 7
Iemitsu/Nana (Reaction):7
Primo Generation: 7
Enma: 6
Arcobaleno: 6
Classmates (Reaction):6
Colonello: 5
Squalo: 4
Belphegor: 4
Yuni: 4
Verde: 4
Spanner: 4
Giotto: 3
Wild Card! Box Animals (Funny suggestion of animeXbooksXmanga):3
Fuuta: 3
Alaude: 3
Varia: 2
Dino: 2
Chrome: 2
Haru: 2
Basil: 2
Shouichi: 2
Cozart: 2
Fran: 2
Mammon: 2
Skull: 2
Genkishi: 2
Hibari: 1
Kyoko: 1
Bianchi: 1
I-Pin: 1
Gamma: 1
Lal Mirch: 1
Timoteo/Ninth: 1
Daniela/Eighth: 1
Kikyo: 1