Chapter 6: In His Head

Inutaisho-sensei leads me out of the grocery store and down a couple blocks to a coffee house. I spend the walk convincing myself that I am only following him out of curiosity. "What questions does he think I have? Does he have multiple personality disorder? Why does he ignore me one minute and then call for my attention the next?" We enter the quiet café, and he picks a couple chairs in the back corner away from any windows. I decline his offer to buy me a drink and sit down in one of the corduroy chairs. Soon, he joins me in the secluded corner with a hot cup of tea in hand. My face is turned towards my nails that are being dragged between the velvety ribs, but I watch sensei through my peripheral vision. He sits back in his seat with an ankle resting on the other leg's kneecap, and his chin rests on the fingers of the arm closest to me.

"Well, are you going to begin or will I have to watch you groom the furniture for much longer?"

I sigh then ask, "I was just wondering if you would like the number to my therapist. She knows many professionals in her field that specialize in DID and MPD," I casually say as I turn a sharp gaze at him. In my head, he dragged me down here, and I will not allow him to talk down to me. To my pleasure, his eyebrows rise slightly, and I catch a glimmer of amusement.

"Uematsu, what makes you think that I am in need of such assistance?"

"For a while you are one person, and then later it's like a whole knew person is coming around. Then you are back to that strange person who can't keep his hands to himself. Soon after, you're closed off, again."

His eyes flicker downwards as he absorbs my observation.

"You are more attentive than you let on. Your mind always seems to wonder during class; even your other teachers think so. It's interesting. Had you graduated when you were supposed to, it wouldn't be frowned upon for me to act the way I want to towards you. Then again, if you did then I wouldn't be assigned to the class you are in ultimately never meeting you. It appears even I cannot contain myself at all times."

My hands are folded in my lap now, and I do my best to look confident and unfazed as I stare at him. "Wait, what? Act…? The way you want…? Frowned upon? What? Wait… What? I'm sorry, but what?" In my fabricated life, I dealt with a sensei that pined after me. Unfortunately, envisioning it is nothing like facing it in reality. Also, I made the one in my memories average in appearance and personality, and the man in front of me is towering over average. He did not downright say he is attracted to me, but the pieces are all there in my head. After watching them fall into place I find that I feel neither uncomfortable nor repulsed.

"I suspected that I would have a dejected and apathetic student when Kokubunji-sama notified me that you would be in my homeroom and Japanese class," he continues as I stare at him in a nearly catatonic state, "but instead there was something else in your eyes that suggested otherwise. It was made clear when you blurted out that disrespectful remark towards me and put Minami in her place. You could even look into my eyes and lie about an injury you received during your Physical Education class. I became intrigued, but you were so reserved. I had little chance to find out more.

"And it was in this very café, a couple months ago, I sat by the window grading papers when a siren walked in. I watched her gracefully make her way around the place and then take a seat outside on the patio to read a couple magazines. People came and left, but we stayed in our seats. I had the perfect view of her and was astonished when she removed her sunglasses to reveal that she was you of all people, Uematsu. I wondered what you were doing in my neighborhood until I remembered reading your file and noticing that your given address is on the same street as me.

"You got up in a hurry, and I, never one to pass up an opportunity, followed you to the theater. I was right to think that if I watched you when you thought you were alone I could learn a lot about you. You showed so many emotions during that movie; a change to the usual blank face you don during class. It was unsettling to watch you cry at the end, but I could not risk letting you know I was there because I had to be sure…" he trails off as if contemplating telling me what he needed to be sure of. I am rendered speechless as he goes on, so asking him cannot pass my lips. He closes his eyes and continues:

"I left the theater before you did. I had to get away and wash my hands of everything going through my mind. That's when I decided to go to the museum and distract myself. I learned about their exhibit on renewable resources through a little girl I look after from time to time. She told me all about her 1st grade class field trip to the museum, and I grew interested. I didn't expect to see you there and looking at everything like a child in Disneyland. I chalked it up as a higher power telling me to continue studying you, and when I saw you—again—at the store I assumed I was being told to speak with you. It was amusing; earning your ire just for assisting you in your salad dressing dilemma," he opens his eyes and looks at me with a smirk. "I knew I was being followed that day!"

"Am I now 'Stalker-sensei' to you? I was truly worried for you the day you dubbed me 'Jackass-sensei'," he goes on and I listen intently, "When you didn't show up at school for an entire week my concern grew exponentially. The school secretary didn't see what I saw in your eyes the moment you ran away. It was ridiculous how she could casually say you were ill and will be back soon. I had to see with my own eyes that you were well, so I gathered your assignments from the other teachers as an excuse to drop by your doorstep. I was greeted with quite the site. It took every bit of control I had to look away," his eyes darken as I finally move so that I can look down to hide my flushing cheeks.

"It originally wasn't in my lesson plan to have creative writing dominate the entire term, but after reading your work I desired for more. I felt like I knew more about you through your writing. I grew careless, you would say, which has never happened before. I let myself get into situations where I would be alone with you, and that was very dangerous. I immediately forced myself to quash that behavior, and force out the growing affection towards you. But it resurfaced when you closed yourself off. Are you alright? You haven't said a word for a while."

He tilts his head to the side, and I blink several times as my mind processes the short story he has told me. I will not deny that I am happy to not have been over thinking things, but where do we go from here?

"Inutaisho-sensei, I…"

"Call me Sesshomaru. I'm only Inutaisho-sensei to you at school."

"Sesshomaru," a small smile graces his face at the sound of his first name rolling off my tongue, "I'm baffled. All that you have said is a lot to take in and assess at once. What are you getting at?" "I need to know for sure that I am not over thinking things. I want him to be straightforward."

"I suppose you want me to spell it out for you," he sighs, "I want you, Uematsu Sakura. In ways a teacher should never want a student."

I relax in my seat and take a deep breath upon reaching the climax of the evening. Surely, nothing can top Sesshomaru's confession.

"What are we going to do about this?" I ask breathing out.

"Nothing."

"Nothing?! What the hell?!"

"Nothing, unless you want to do something," he elaborates smirking at my displeasured reaction, "I won't deny or take back what I said. We can start seeing each other or keep a student-teacher relationship between us. It is up for you to decide now."

He looks away when he mentions keeping nothing between us but a student-teacher relationship. His face is still blank, but his eyes look hopeful. I lean to the right of my seat with my temple wresting on my knuckles. I listen to the sounds of the barista steaming milk and a trio near the front chattering about their day. I wonder how many people on the planet came across a situation like this, and what they chose. He waits patiently for my decision as I quietly sit and think everything over. If we start seeing each other we will have big things at risk: his career, my reputation and possible expulsion. Also, we will have to survive two more terms under the radar.

"Inutaisho-sensei…"

"Sesshomaru."

"Sesshomaru, I don't know if what we could lose is all worth it."

"Then," he takes hold of my hand, "allow me to prove to you that what can be is worth it."

Hey guys!

Sorry this one is short, but I thought it would be best to end the chapter there.

'Til next time!