Chapter 3

He was back in a routine. Reading, training, buying weapons, trading weapons, drinking, sleeping with women with low standards. Some girls just loved a bald head and some gravel on the face. Somebody who reeked of danger. This one was blonde. Okay body, sort of small all over, a palmful where it counted. She slept hard. Caleb didn't mind much. It was better than being alone. Didn't see her face for once when he closed his eyes. When the dark started turned to gray, he got up to get the coffee going. He was on his second cup, third cigarette and wishing dawn lasted a bit longer when she emerged. He got a kiss, surrendered a swallow of coffee and then she was on her way.

Eggs, toast and inventory. Caleb was knee deep in packing foam when he heard the footsteps in his house. Grabbing a blade, he jogged up the stairs. He eased open the door to find a blonde creeping around his kitchen. He guided the door open and leaned in the doorway so he could watch her, knife loosely hanging from his hand. She turned and screamed. He laughed. "I didn't take you for a screamer."

"Shut up."

"Me, shut up… you're in my house."

"You didn't answer when I knocked."

"Just invited yourself in. You've been hanging with those Winchesters too long." He pointed at her with the tip of his blade.

"You're right." She lowered her gaze. "Sorry. Didn't mean to intrude."

"Nonsense. You. You're welcome any time." Caleb grinned at her. "So, you can talk… what are they calling you these days?"

"Claire."

"You look good. Miss me?" Caleb set the knife down and reached for the coffeepot.

"Hardly." She rolled her eyes and moved away, her eyes darting around the room.

"So, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"John says you know your guns and I need some guns."

"What kind of guns?"

"I got this semi-automatic but I'm new. I know I need… more."

"So, you're gonna be a hunter, huh? That's so fucking hot."

"You're a pig."

"What? Cause I know beauty when I see it?"

"Cause you don't bother to care if a woman is interested."

"Tell me the truth. You got tired of fucking that old man, right?"

"Fuck you." Claire stormed out.

Caleb felt bad as he watched her lean on her car and cry. He got his dinner started and made a salad. He was just setting steaks on the grill when he heard her moving around on the porch. She leaned on the wall and watched him cook for a moment. "You hungry?"

"I don't want to impose."

"Impose. It fills the days." Caleb motioned to the grill. "These are medium rare."

"It's fine. Thank you."

When they were seated at his little table and he was watching her move her salad around, it was too heavy. Caleb got up to get them beer. She took it and downed half in a go, then started actually eating. "You want to talk about it?"

"When I got my voice back, I couldn't stop talking. Dean and I talked for hours and hours…" Claire stared at a tomato hard.

"What about John?"

"He's not much of a talker."

"You're right." Caleb watched her face. "So, who left who?"

"I left but…"

"Ouch." Caleb felt sorry for all the jokes.

"I just figured we… We just worked so well together and…"

"No one works well with John." Caleb offered with a half a smile. "Don't get me wrong… he knows what he's doing. He's a good person to have at your back on a hunt… but uh… He's a bold and intense flavor that you savor when you have it, you talk about it when you don't… and you'd vomit if you had it all the time."

Claire laughed at that.

"You have a beautiful smile. Wish you'd done it more last time you were here." When her face screwed up in a scowl. "These walls never see anything so gorgeous. My bald head does not attract the supermodels."

She sighed and her mouth screwed up so she didn't have to smile. She shoved a huge bite of lettuce in her mouth.

"Did you have a plan when you left him?"

"No." She shook her head. "I figured I'd wander and hunt. I mean. John never seemed to know where he was going."

"You're wrong."

"I was wrong. He knew. He always knew. Those papers. I, uh… came up woefully unprepared for a hunt. I got it done but…"

"You need your own arsenal."

"Yes."

"I'll get you set up."

"Thank you." She licked her lips and sipped her drink. She looked up at him. "I've gotten pulled over a couple of times. John's looking for me, I think. I need new ID. Dean showed me how but I forgot some stuff."

He blinked at that. "Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely."

After dinner, Claire brought her bag in and Caleb put her up in the room Dean had used last instead of the room John had used last. She seemed grateful. After a shower and another beer, she joined him to watch the night on the porch. She tucked her knees up under her chin. "What do you do out here?"

"Stay away from people." Caleb admitted.

"Why?"

"John didn't tell you about me?"

"No."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Ok." Claire stared up at the sky. "So many stars. My kid would have loved this view. Where we lived, there were always street lights and I always thought there were plenty of stars to watch. He would gripe that he couldn't see enough of them."

"Kids. Wow. I couldn't… not with the things I see."

"He was before this madness."

"Weren't you in Bosnia? Didn't that shit cure you of kids?" Caleb looked at her. She smiled and laid her head on her knees again to look at him. "Why would you after seeing that shit?"

"It was a surprise. I didn't plan my Sebastien. He's… what happened when soldiers get together and have too much to drink. I never thought of not having him. Even after I found out my folks had passed. Maybe because they had passed. He was my bit of good in the world." Her eyes filled with water. "You know, no one much missed me when I went missing but they all knew he was gone. They had memorial pages and markers and the whole bit. And they only knew him a few years with park playdates and soccer and kindergarten."

"You still see the joy?"

"Yes, finally. That whole year when I couldn't remember… I felt the sun but I couldn't see it, you know? Now… now that I remember everything, I would never regret having him." She sat up and wiped at her eyes. "One of the reasons that John and I fought… I thought I might be pregnant once. He freaked out even though I wasn't. I wouldn't have minded. Still wouldn't. He can't do it again. Says he's too old."

"He told you about his wife?"

"Bits. Dean told me some. I read some in that journal of his. I understand, I guess."

Caleb laughed suddenly. "If anyone had ever told me that I'd be jealous of John Fucking Winchester…" He tipped his beer back into his mouth. "Lord knows that would never want to lose my wife that way, have to raise two little ones like he did. And in this fucking world…"

"Cause he had me?"

"Cause he found someone who knows what we know and isn't fucking destroyed by it, and doesn't think he's a monster."

"I overheard John talking to a friend of his once." Claire had her eyes on her toes. "He said that John was the Captain Kirk of hunters…"

Caleb didn't say anything for a long time.

"John said that no, Dean was the Captain Kirk of hunters."

Caleb laughed. "Well, I can see that. Dean does get a lot of tail."

"More than you?"

"I wouldn't know. We only see each other once every year or so and just for a long weekend of debauchery but that kid… the ladies like him. He's a good wingman."

"John?"

"He'll get a damsel in distress every now and again. Once, I heard he botched a hunt, got sent to the ER… all fucking gross and bloody, dirty… picked up a nurse. Hot one."

"Blonde?"

"Probably."

"Most likely?" She bit out.

Caleb had forgotten. She wasn't just a girl he wanted. She was a girl who was in John Winchester's thrall. "John's got a type."

"Yeah. I figured." She nodded. "What about you?"

"I don't want to talk about it." He'd had too much to drink for this conversation. It's why he did not date women long term. They knew how to get a man to a weak point and expose and exploit it. His wounds had never been exposed like this before.

"Why? Am I not your type? Is a breathing woman not your type?"

Caleb stood up and stared out into the darkness. It was easier than this. Probably the only reason he was outside, in the dark was that he was too afraid to have a conversation with her in the light. He said her name for the first time in a decade. "Alanna. She was brunette. She had… grey eyes. Her dad said maybe one of her great grandfathers was Native American or something and had eyes like that. I was already going bald, even then… and she loved me anyway. She had a little something to her. She was always good for a squeeze. She could take a good squeeze. She was going to be a lawyer or a teacher or something. She hadn't quite decided yet and she'd only been in college for a semester."

"Caleb, I didn't…"

"She had one of those faces that people always thought they knew her from somewhere. I see her everywhere. In brunettes, redheads, blondes. Everywhere." Caleb took his beer out to the yard, the black of night. It was less scary than being on that porch where the kitchen light could reach his face.

Claire was just finishing up the kitchen when he stumbled back in. Far drunker than when he'd left. He grinned at her while she put the last of the dishes away. "Hey you. You wanna come up? Do a test drive?"

"You're a pig."

"Is that what you said about me all those times you couldn't talk?"

"Yes." She wiped out the sink.

"Come on." He stumbled over.

"Do you have a stash out there? Where'd you find more to drink?"

"Big guns are outside. M16s and the Johnny Walker." He stepped in close. "Come upstairs with me."

"Why? So I can be another notch on your bed post?"

"Why did you come here if I'm such a creep?" He backed off, stung.

"I don't know anyone and John trusts you with Dean." She leaned on the counter. "Go to bed. We'll talk guns in the morning."

When she turned around, he was gone. She locked up and wandered upstairs. He was sitting on his bed. He was fumbling with a dusty book. Claire took pity on him and opened it for him and helped him find the picture he was looking for. She was pretty. That rare kind of pretty that shouldn't have been in its little bits and pieces. Altogether, no man would have said no to that and she'd promised her love and life to Caleb… before she lost it. Caleb touched the picture. "I didn't tell anyone… she was pregnant. Jeff thought the reason it killed her after it raped her was because she was already pregnant."

"Could've, would've. We'll never know. Go to bed, Caleb."

"Her father never loved me… until after I brought his body back. I didn't get his blessing until after Jeff got the demon out. After it was too late."

Claire took the picture out of the book for him and got him laid out. She lay next to him and stroked his head as he babbled on and on about Alanna. He relaxed for a second and she closed her eyes. Next thing she knew, it was morning and he was starting to wake up.

The first thing Caleb saw was the picture, he jerked awake and sat up. Startled, he turned to see Claire. He bowed his head. He sat on the edge of his bed and closed his eyes. "I'm sorry."

"I think everyone in this life has this night…. And I wish I could say it was just once." Claire shut her eyes and tried not to think of those eyes and the green skin and the…

"Breakfast. Let's eat." Caleb ripped her out of her waking nightmare. "I'll cook or buy."

"I need a shower. I smell like drunk." Claire sat up and headed straight to the little shower off Caleb's room. Caleb nearly cried again. He got up and got her bag for her. Then he went downstairs to take inventory. He got breakfast going. Stuff that was comforting. Potatoes, bacon, eggs, biscuits, gravy. Everything was plated before he realized that Claire had come in at some point and gotten the coffee going. He felt wrong, sitting to breakfast while he was sweaty and gross. He excused himself and got washed up. When he returned, she was serving his plate. She handed the gravy to him so he could douse what he would like.

They ate in silence for a long time. When it was over, Caleb cleaned up while Claire had a look around the house. She laid her side arm on the table. She felt Caleb walk in and out of the room. She didn't know how she felt about a man she couldn't stand who had seen so much evil that he was cowed by what he'd mumbled while drunk. John was a dick to most people. They all respected him. Bobby had once said that most people knew about John before he walked in the door. The story of what happened to his family had been that terrible. The man he'd become was that different from the man he was.

When Caleb came back in, he had an armful of weapons. "I picked what I thought you could handle, based on the grip on your gun and your training with the Airforce. In addition to fire arms, you're going to need spiritual items and those will take some time to get. I could give you my supply but there's a whisper that you imprint your weapons with your spirit and I never like to jinx a person."

"How much?" Claire eyed the spread even as he continued to lay weapons on the table.

"I've never gotten to outfit a person myself. This one's on me. If anything goes wrong, it's my fault and I won't have anyone say it was because you couldn't pay or I was taking advantage."

"You're a good man, Caleb."

"I thought I was a pig."

"You're still a pig but you're a good man." She looked them all over. "You got someplace I can get used to them?"

"Yeah. Firing range outside of town. They'll let you have all the hours you want. You just tell them I sent you and they'll set you out where no one can see you."

"Hey… John's got the truck outfitted with…"

"The case… Let me show you what I have in store for that man's truck… and we can do something for that piece of shit out there. John's paying for this and you will, too."

Claire's mouth turned up at the corners. "Put mine on John's tab. That man owes me."

"What in the hell did he do to lose you?" Caleb stared at her with a grin.

"It's what he didn't do."

"Tell me… so I don't make the same mistake."

"When a woman loves you, you love her back." She picked up her hand gun and stepped outside. He followed but didn't step outside. She ran a hand through her hair. "So, this magical stuff… John always had what we needed. Never saw him get what he needed."

"Yeah, you'll need some contacts. It's a roadtrip, indeed."

"I got nowhere to be. If you don't mind."

"Trapped in a jeep with a beautiful woman. I don't mind."

TBC