Chapter 4

Caleb answered his phone when they were in California gathering imported herbs. He almost laughed when he heard the familiar voice. "How's it hanging man? You still got that blonde hottie on your six?"

There was a grunt. "I was wondering if you'd seen her, actually."

Caleb watched her move from stall to stall trying to identify what Caleb had sent her over there for. "She get lost?"

"No… I guess not."

"Dude, she took off? That sucks. But you know… if I find her… I'll wait a day before I nail her."

"Shut the fuck up, Caleb." Beep.

Claire looked over at him with a bundle. "This it?"

"Yep. Next on our list?"

"Sleep?" She asked hopefully.

"You got it." Caleb put his phone away.

"Who called?"

"No one important."

Claire led the way to the double where he crashed on his bed and she spent half an hour in the bathroom. When she came out, she looked dead. Caleb didn't ask as she crashed on her bed. The first few nights out on this trip, she'd gotten her own room. Then as the trip stretched out, they agreed to share space to give her time to replenish her funds. She hadn't told him to stay on his side of the room and he hadn't given her a reason to. She'd relaxed and he'd remembered that his parents had raised him to be a gentleman. Nightmares were soothed with just a name tossed from one side of the room to the other. Nights spent describing nightmares and things that crept in the dark.

She was different just now. He almost told her that John had called. He almost went there but he had to understand. She had her face in her pillow. Caleb stared at the ceiling. "What did you see in him? Winchester?"

"What's not to see? All the visuals are pretty compelling." She shifted so her voice wasn't so muffled.

"So it's the hair." He motioned over his bald head.

"The hair, the smile… the beard when he has it. The arms. The eyes. Damn those eyes."

"So, why am I disgusting? Cause I'm bald?"

"You make you disgusting. You're not bad to look at but you act like a jackass."

He glanced over at her, her eyes were closed. He just couldn't stand it. John was old. "John's a dick."

"Not to women." She picked up her head. "Why are we talking about John?"

"You're right. Let's go to sleep."

"No, I'm not sleepy now." She stared at him. "What? Did you hear me peeing on that stick from out here?"

"Oh Jesus." Caleb shut his eyes. "That's perfect. What? You got John's bun baking in your oven?"

"No. I don't. You're an asshole." She turned her head away from him.

Caleb stared at her form for a long moment. Thought he saw a hitch in her shoulders. "Claire. I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"It's for the best anyway. He wouldn't want it."

"Anything I can do?"

"I need to kill something."

Two more states and a library and a collection of magic herbs, Caleb had all the tools to build her trunk out. He took the measurements and got started marking out the steel. She got real comfortable in his house. Eating her breakfast barefoot while reading the obits. Stocking his fridge with things he didn't want to eat. They drank together, watched television together. Slept in separate rooms. They worked out IDs and back-stories. It was fun.

It was one of those nights. Drinking but not drunk. Fun but not hilarious. Going to bed and there before he left her at her door, she kissed him. Before he had time to register it, she was gone and her door was shut. He went to his room and drank and stared at the ceiling. When he got out of the shower in the morning, she was gone.

He got his routine going again. Reading, breakfast, training, guns. Only he started sleeping a bit early in the morning. Sitting in the dark for short bouts, then longer bouts. Hunting things in the dark that didn't need the dark for cover. He ran a few hunts with Jefferson. He ran a few errands for Jim. Sold Bobby a few guns. Started to go out and pick up women.

Then he found himself home and drunk. He got in his Jeep and crossed town. He sat on the porch with the old man for two hours. They didn't speak. They just sat for two hours. Around sunset, she hauled them in for dinner. She sniffled a bit but provided enough conversation for them all.

"I got the asparagus at the market. They said it was just right. I think it's wonderful. And the tomatoes. The little ones, they were just too sour. I'll wait for the heirlooms." She pushed her food around her plate.

Alan pulled out the rum and poured everyone a drink. He and Caleb were the only ones who imbibed and imbibed. Josephine was content to keep talking.

"Adrian is bringing the children by this weekend. Such beautiful little boys. I wish they'd try for a girl though."

Caleb ate asparagus and pot roast and roasted potatoes. The gravy was thin but he ate it anyway and kept drinking. She just kept talking. "The fall concert is going to be beautiful. I heard that they're learning some Beatles songs."

Alan got up and disappeared while Josephine cut slices of cake. Caleb dutifully ate his slice. Josephine picked at hers. She stared at him. "I saw you in the spring. You seemed happier." He shrugged. "Are you seeing anyone?" He shook his head. "You should. You should stop coming here."

"It's been pointed out that I'm somewhat of a pig and I don't know how to talk to women."

"You were a gentleman once. You were going to marry my daughter and we were looking forward to your joining our family." She reminded him as she dabbed at her eyes.

"I always remember her birthday."

"I appreciate that."

"I just… started to enjoy night again. Not just… having fun at night but… the night itself."

"You're different, Caleb."

"I'm not."

"You are. I don't know what to make of it… but you're not driving yourself home. I'm calling Adrian."

"Don't bother him." Caleb shook his head. "He's got little ones."

"I always wished she could have left us with someone…"

Caleb stared at her for the longest moment. "I should have told you."

"Told me what?"

Caleb's phone rang, interrupting. He stood up to answer it and almost fell. "I'm at… a friend's house." Caleb leaned on the chair and shut his eyes. Let her voice wash over him. "Come get me. Please." He gave directions and opened his eyes to Josephine's tear-streaked face.

"Told me what?"

"My friend is coming to get me. I'll get out of your hair, soon." Caleb sat back down. He finished his cake and washed it down with the last of his rum.

"Caleb. Tell me."

"She was pregnant." Caleb took a breath and let it out slowly. "We didn't want to tell anyone too soon and she wanted to finish the semester."

"She never told me. Why?"

"She… wanted to have a secret for once. Everyone always knew everything and she and I had been together forever." Caleb shook his head slowly. "She used to make plans for us. Draw pictures of what our children would look like. She wanted our baby to have my eyes and I wanted our baby to have her eyes."

"I would have liked a blue-eyed grandbaby." Josephine sniffed. "Why didn't… Did Alan know?"

"I asked the detectives not to tell you. They had to clear me and Alan wasn't my friend in those days. I told the truth… that no one knew but the two of us and the doctor."

"Why tell me now?"

"You said I should stop coming. I need a reason to stay away." Caleb nodded to her as Alan was entering with Claire in tow.

"Hi." Claire waved awkwardly. "Claire Reid."

"Claire. Alan and Josephine Chase." Caleb made the introduction.

"I came to commiserate but you're already at the bottom of a bottle." Claire cleared her throat.

"I should be going." Caleb got to his feet.

"She's very pretty." Josephine told him softly. "Be nice to her."

"Only if she's nice to me first." Caleb stumbled to the door.

Claire waved to them and then got herself under his arm to help him to her car. She thought he might try to steal some touch but she didn't have his attention. Not at all. He stared at his Jeep for a long moment. It was Alanna's Jeep. He always took it hunting but he had never outfitted it. Had never built it out like he had helped several others do to their vehicles in order to maintain a low profile. He handed Claire the keys to the Jeep. "Go put them under the seat. I can't take her back now. Not ever."

Claire did as told and when she returned, Caleb was staring straight ahead though the old couple was still standing on the porch, watching. They drove to his house. Claire had never realized just how far out he lived until that long ride from town. Far out enough to be alone but close enough to be civilized when it suited. Caleb waited for her to help him. He didn't look at her, didn't try any cute lines. That's when she saw the pain for what it was. So deep that he'd had to sink into it rather than claw his way out. She unlocked his door with his keys and she helped him upstairs. She offered to stay with him but he shook his head. Wouldn't even take the waste basket when she offered to have it nearby. He was sitting next to the lamp and had his hands on the photo album when she gave up and left him to himself.

TBC