Chapter 9

When Caleb got home, he found a new routine. He got them up and they ate and they worked out a bit, then he was off to the apartment in town to study the files John had left with him. Old books shipped in from around the world. Rumors of old factions of historians who dealt in these things but he couldn't find any of them.

He was always home with some takeout, usually prompted by a text. Then it was home to eat and play with his girlfriend. He didn't ask what she did with her day. She volunteered this or that. They worked on the baby furniture together. Sex was still good but getting more awkward to perform every day. Claire made him go to bed with her every night. Even if they didn't have sex, they held each other. Sometimes she hummed. Sometimes he talked about whatever new thing he learned. Sometimes they talked to her belly. Caleb always felt weird about that. Claire could talk to her belly all day and he suspected that sometimes she did.

Claire had a different routine. When Caleb left for his "office" she went into town for walks and newspapers. She poured over them for hours. Putting hunts together, looking for patterns. She kept folders with her own filing system in the parlor where Caleb used to keep some guns. When she got one, she called Dean and faxed him the articles. They exchanged few words on the phone. She made lists of names. For the baby. For her research on the spirit who killed her son. For a reason to keep moving forward with the life she thought she'd chosen.

She liked the house. She loved Caleb. She was restless. Too big to hunt, too energetic to sit still. Picking little fights to get a rise out of him. Using her wiles to make sure he was still hers. Sometimes that hot and horny look he always gave her was too much but he didn't push. He was excited. He wanted her baby as much as she did.

Lamaze classes. They were behind. Caleb hated them but attended dutifully. Chain smoked afterward. Then they got down to the due date. T minus 14 days. Claire was miserable. She couldn't sleep. Caleb stayed up with her, rubbed her back. They paced together. Rigged furniture to be more comfortable. Claire was starving and the heartburn just about killed her. The pee breaks were so frequent, sometimes she drank water while sitting on the toilet. Contractions were false hope to the end.

Caleb kissed her head and rubbed her back and hummed some song he'd heard earlier. Claire rocked with him, her belly tightening every couple of hours. "She's going to come early."

"You think?" He asked.

"I'm pretty sure. Maybe by next week." She leaned back into his arms. "Maybe I can sleep now."

"It's almost dawn."

"Too bad. Sleep." She ordered. They dozed until the next contraction woke her up.

Caleb sleepily massaged her belly and started talking. "You know… before you showed up with him that time. I only slept around this time. I stayed awake all night… watching for monsters. I only slept after I was sure the sun was coming up."

"Why?"

"You don't want to hear the details but… I was asleep when she was taken from me. I woke up and she was gone. We didn't live together but sometimes she'd stay with me. She usually woke me up before she left, even if it was early." He didn't stop massaging as he spoke. "I figured she was up to pee or something and she heard a noise… stepped outside to check it out and that's when he grabbed her."

"What was it?"

"Possessed man. Spirit was… trying for something, we think. Jefferson's a friend. He… uh… had tracked it over years and states and it was the first time the girl died." Caleb kissed her neck and leaned into her as she leaned back. "The other girls turned up pregnant later. Jefferson was still trying to figure out the end game. Then came my girlfriend and everything matched his pattern, except she died."

"Caleb…"

"Took me two weeks to track down the man who had done it. Jefferson and I met over his dying body. That's when he told me the truth about the dark and what lives in it. Just this one thing with my girlfriend alone. I didn't sleep for that whole two weeks. Then I learned what had really happened and I vowed never to sleep in the dark again. I filled my nights with studying the books he left me. Calling the folks he sent me to. Learning everything I could."

"So you could beat it back."

"Then I met you. It took me a long time to figure it out but… when I laid eyes on you… I didn't want to be a person who stood guard in the night. I wanted to be the kind of person who had a normal life. Who had a girl on his arm who didn't know about it… Every time I looked at you… I just thought… she needs a man who's not afraid of the dark things."

"I never thought you were scared of dark things."

"I am. I… uh… started staying out on the porch until late. Started sleeping a little earlier. Never even used to hang out in the shed very late unless I was armed. I do what I need to… in the dark… but never unless I had to. You cured me."

"I did." She laughed. Then she remembered that first time with Caleb in the yard. When his eyes wouldn't leave her for a second. She hadn't even given it a thought.

"I never thought you'd come back. I never thought we'd be doing this."

"Well, me either. You were such a jerk when we met." She leaned back to kiss his mouth. "But I think I always knew it was just a show."

The contraction passed and they lay back down to doze in the morning light. Caleb woke to Claire molesting him. He stilled her hands and looked at her. "What are you doing?"

"I'm tired. We're having sex and hoping it speeds things up. I can't do this for another week and a half."

Caleb held her in his arms. She was so small. Her eyes were closed and he was dying to see if she was the exact copy of her mother. He had to hand her over for cleaning but he took her right back. They were still working on Claire but she was bitching them out so he knew she was okay. Then he had to hand her back over to the nurse to transport them all to Claire's hospital room. She held the baby against her chest until they both fell asleep.

Caleb kept watch on them both until the baby woke up. He picked her up and gently woke Claire. The nurses came in and there was a lot of to do to make sure Claire could breastfeed. She kept reminding the nurse that she had done it before. Then it was just the three of them in the room. Caleb stared at them. Claire shut her eyes for a bit. "You're staring."

"I… can't tear my eyes away."

"I can't wait to do this at home." She sighed. Then she watched Caleb walk the floor with their baby. He was so careful. "I was thinking about naming her Erica."

"Erica." He tried to get a look at his baby's face. "How about it, girlie? Are you an Erica?" Her eyes opened and Caleb felt something unclench in his chest. He didn't know what he thought he was going to see but those baby blues caused such relief. "Erica's got my eyes."

"What?" Claire sat up. "Let me see."

"Here you go." Caleb transferred her over.

"Oh, baby." Claire kissed her daughter's head. "You got your daddy's pretty eyes."

"Hey… uh… We should have talked about this before." Caleb leaned on the chair next to the bed. "I want to go to Jim. Have him bless us."

"Sure." She nodded. "Who do you think she looks like?"

"Just like you. She's beautiful." Caleb kissed her head.

Two days later, Caleb was mainlining coffee as he did laundry and tried to get something resembling a meal put together. Claire was nursing for the millionth time. When he had the oven going and the clothes in the dryer, he went up and slid into bed with the two of them. Claire couldn't stop staring at her. He nuzzled her neck as he settled in. "You think she's going to disappear?"

"Kind of." She touched the tiny nose. "I just want to look at her forever."

"You need to get some sleep." He reminded her.

"I will. I just… want to look a few more minutes."

The phone rang and Caleb had to get up to get it. He kept his eyes on his girls while he did so. "Caleb, talk to me."

"Hey um… It's Sam Winchester and…"

"Heya Sam." Caleb grinned. "What's going on?"

"You remember me?"

"I do." Caleb chuckled and wondered what those guys were up to. "How long you been buried in those books that you'd think I'd forget?"

"Long enough, I guess… uh… Dean and I are looking for our dad."

"He ain't with you boys?" Caleb sat up, remembering his last conversation with John.

"No." Sam breathed into the phone. "Dad was in California last we heard from him. We just thought… He comes to you for 'mutions… maybe you've seen him in the last few weeks.

"Nah, man. It's been a few months at least. He was still with Dean when I talked to him last… or Dean was going to New Orleans or something…"

"Just call us if you hear anything."

"Kay."

"Thanks."

"You bet." Caleb hung up the phone.

"They okay?" Claire asked.

"John took off on them." He shrugged.

"You think he's okay?"

"He's John Winchester. He's fine." He crawled back into bed. "How are my ladies? Hungry?"

"Yes. She eats so much." Claire kissed his face. "Come on. Let's get our grub down before she wakes up."

After Claire was fed and back in bed to nap until Erica woke up, Caleb took himself to town to check the answering machines he set up. Nothing from John. Ran through the mail and checked a few searches he'd set up. Nothing of note. Then Caleb hit up the store for a flower and some cider. Claire stuck the flower in her hair and shared some cider with him. They got in their snuggle time before Erica got hungry again.

Claire obsessed over dressing the poor baby up. Caleb took the girl outside to walk the perimeter whenever he could. She got deep under his skin so fast. By three weeks old, she was so entrenched in his soul that he did all the things he swore he'd never do; explain to everyone how advanced his daughter was though she was just doing what babies did, eat sleep and poop. Then they made the trip to see Jim.

Caleb kept his eyes on the rearview and the carrier while he let Claire sleep. She had reclined the seat all the way back so she could have a hand on the carrier. Her knee rested on his thigh. He felt very full and content through that whole drive. Erica slept most of the way but threw a tantrum to make up for it as they were hitting Blue Earth. She was screaming her head off when they pulled into the driveway. Claire got her changed and fed and calmed to huffs and puffs when they finally left the vehicle to greet the pastor who had been sitting on the porch the whole while. Graying and mustachioed, the pastor looked tired and had a fresh bandage on his wrist. He smiled and rose slowly to meet his guests. "So good to see the two of you."

"Hey Jim." Caleb hugged the man.

"Pastor." Claire smiled at him while she rubbed her daughter's back.

"Darlene. I mean… Claire." He greeted mother and daughter. "Well, I see we have a story to hear. Best go inside and get some lemonade and maybe some place to lay out that baby."

"She doesn't really lay out." Caleb looked to Claire.

"She might. I imagine that carrier isn't the best place to sleep for four hours." Claire kissed Erica's head and then Caleb's face as she passed him to enter behind Jim.

Claire watched the pastor move around. "How do you know about cooped up babies?"

Jim smiled and set glasses on the table and a kitchen towel near to Claire as she adjusted Erica in her arms. "Once upon a time, a man with two children came to see me about my special talent." He gestured to his wrist. "Then he stayed a time or dozen after that. Sam Winchester did not like his car seat much."

"I never met Sam." Claire shook her head.

"You may, soon. Dean's got Sam. They've been roving around looking for John." Caleb shrugged at the look on her face.

"They called here, too." Jim nodded. "John's been in touch. He's… busy."

Caleb nodded to the pastor and then looked to his girlfriend. "So have we."

"I see." Jim nodded. He looked apologetic as he asked. "Does he know?"

"No." Claire shook her head. Caleb met the pastor's eyes for a moment and the older man let it go. "I haven't seen him since… well… before we made this little girl." She turned her attention to her daughter who was busy trying to root her face into her mother's blouse.

"I suppose I'm to bless this child… shall I bless this union as well?"

Caleb winced and glanced at Claire. She shrugged. "We hadn't discussed that, Jim."

"Ah. Well. When you are ready, I will be here. You've had a long drive. Go, wash up. You remember where everything is."

"Yes." Claire nodded and got up. Caleb took the baby from her and shooed her away. Erica immediately nuzzled her face into Caleb's chest.

Jim watched the young man for a long while. "So, that story."

"There's not a whole lot to tell, Jim. Claire came to see me after they broke it off. We became friends. I got her set up to hunt on her own and she came back to me. John does know. He doesn't want me talking about him to her." Caleb took a breath and voiced his innermost fear. "I've heard enough people tell me she'd run back to him if she knew he'd had half a thought about making a go with her."

"They're all mistaken." Jim told him. "John… enjoyed her company. She wouldn't have let him go at all if she thought there was a chance. He didn't give her hope for one."

"You do know that he chased her all over the Midwest when she tried to get away from him, right?"

"I didn't say he didn't miss her. He just knew he wasn't the one for her." Jim poured them both a scotch and took a breath. "She looks happy. Happier than I've seen her before. You did that. Not John or the hope of John. His heart died 22 years ago. I'd liken it to being able to run a race in all it takes. Measuring your breath, the distance, reserving your energy to make the long haul, knowing where the finish line is and knowing you'll never get there for any reason other than running across that line doesn't mean anything so you just run in any other direction."

"You said she looks happy?"

"Yes. Very. Maybe that's you. Maybe I see you happy for the first time ever since I met you. I remember that wreck who came to see me. Who wanted to ask me a question and then walked out without finding out the answer." Jim breathed. "She's beautiful. Erica."

"When she was born… I just wanted her to be 100 percent Claire. Just… every inch. Then she opened her eyes for the first time and her eyes were blue… like mine." Caleb took a breath and admitted for the first time his deepest fear about Erica. "John even let me believe for a second that it was possible she wasn't mine."

"I don't know what to make of this fight between the two of you. John doesn't normally do this…" Jim swallowed his scotch and sipped his lemonade. "He reserves this kind of… assault for those who have crossed those lines we draw for ourselves. If you had wronged him or his boys, I'd say… "well, there it is" but…"

"Fuck me." Caleb breathed out. He'd figured it out. "Sam came to see me on his way to school. He stayed for a week. We just… shot the shit and he fixed me up with some software and I bought some weapons off him. I think I forgot and sold John one of his own guns back to him. Explains why he never paid up."

"Well, there you go. Bet he even forgot why he was mad at you. The man knows how to carry a grudge."

"Yeah." Caleb breathed. "We're getting along. We… match."

"Oh?"

"I didn't think we would. The way she was raised and all. I always feel like I'm going to get her dirty. After… that thing with her son… She let it go, I think. She's… settled into… herself. Her new self."

"This life does change people. Look at you. Maybe you were never like her but you weren't this. You were in college. You were engaged. Then you were scared and you were a hunter. Now… you're different. You're a hunter and you're a father and you're a lover and a good friend. You've been away too long."

"I guess so."

Caleb had just wanted a quick blessing but Claire came out with a baptismal gown and took a thousand pictures. Erica was cranky but didn't freak out when the water hit her head. Jim almost didn't give her back. "I'm going to raise her here. She can be my assistant."

"Nice try." Caleb took his daughter and tucked her into his own arms. "We got too much training to do."

"I was thinking… gymnastics." Claire gasped as they left the chapel. "I did cheer and JROTC in school. Helped a lot with basic. I'm thinking we get her going when she's small and she'll be ready for anything."

"You don't want her to go to school?"

"Yeah but… I want her ready. Oh. We have to put that gown away immediately. Before she spits up on it." Claire took a few more pictures and then rushed the girl upstairs to change her.

"You see there. She is still the woman her parents' raised. The dark hasn't killed that woman. Just like you… You are still the son your parents raised and you are both going to pass those things on to your daughter along with the knowledge of the dark that you have learned." Jim got them something to eat. "Her mother's compassion and her father's skill will make a hunter who is able to know the true spectrum of what we do."

Caleb was getting the coffee going when his phone rang. "Go for Caleb."

"Hey, uh… It's Sam Winchester."

"Hey Sam. What's going on?"

"It's… I've tried getting a hold of my dad and um… still can't get him. I'm just… trying everyone. It's Dean."

"What's wrong with Dean?" Caleb took a seat and motioned Claire and Jim to stay where they were. The baby was asleep next to the table.

"He's sick… well… injured and the docs are telling me that… he's got… weeks. Maybe."

"Calm down. Tell me what happened."

"I just… if you know of something we could do. Docs do not give us any hope… He's my brother man. I can't… And Dad is not fucking…"

"I got you. I hear you, Sam. Tell me what happened to your brother." Caleb listened as Sam relayed the story. Rawhead, electrocution and a matter of days to live. "You left your dad a message?"

"God damn it! I called him and he… we can't find him. We've been looking for him. His voicemail tells everyone to call Dean which does no one any fucking good because Dean is dying!"

"Sh." Caleb took a breath. "Calm down. Okay. Let me see what I can come up with. Okay? We're not giving up on your bro." He took a breath and looked to Jim who motioned with his hand to his hair. Hair. "Joshua. You got his number?"

"Joshua. Joshua." Sam whispered to himself. "Yeah. Yeah."

"Call him. This is his arena. There's any hoodoo, mojo, faith healer… Joshua knows the real deal."

"Kay. Thanks. If you hear from my dad…"

"Got it. I'll make him call you." Caleb hung up and looked over at her. He kissed her face. "He'll be okay. Joshua knows his stuff."

Jim had his hands clasped together, praying before he pulled out his phone and left the room. Claire looked after the man for a moment before turning her attention to Caleb. "He can't die. We didn't wrench our lives back from that damned Pixie for him to go down because of a rawhead."

"He won't." Caleb promised. "Joshua knows people. He knows the good from the bad."

"What the fuck is John thinking? These are his children." Claire cursed and went over to the cradle to watch her daughter sleep. "I thank God everyday that her eyes are blue."

"Why?" Caleb prompted, doubt creeping in again. John and his snide remarks.

"I'm sure we got all the Pixies but I don't want to take the chance. I fought that thing with every ounce of me and… I'm not weak. I never want her to have to go through that."

"He cares, Claire. He does. He's got his reasons."

"He better." She looked at him. "Dean's the… I don't doubt mine or your abilities but Dean is a hunter. If ever there was a person to have in this God forsaken life… It's Dean. He's so strong and sure. I can't imagine him having… weeks to live. And I absolutely cannot imagine John not answering for them or calling back after a message that one of his children is dying."

"I'm sure John has his reasons." Caleb cleared his throat.

"You won't. Promise me. Whatever the reason, it's never going to be good enough." She held his face. "Promise me that she always comes first."

"She does."

TBC