Chapter 22 - Super Shake!
BELLA
The rest of the week went much the same. If I was not shoving Edward off of something, I was throwing something at him and playing innocent. It was the only way I could get him to smile. Of course, it also started an accidental food fight, but we wouldn't go into that.
I was relieved when I realized on Saturday morning that my black eye was pretty much just a light yellow bruise, and I wouldn't have to worry about Sue wondering what the heck had happened to my face when I came in for work.
My mother would be coming home soon, and I was happy to have her around the house again. I had spent Friday night cleaning until I thought my fingers would fall off, but it was worth it when Saturday morning, my dad walked through the house smiling. "I think we'll get her home this weekend." I leaned up and kissed my dad on the cheek.
"That's great, Dad. I've missed having you guys around."
"I know, baby. I'm sorry that things get crazy sometimes."
"It's not your fault. It isn't like mom was asking to get sick."
"I know, honey, thanks for being so understanding." He gave me one last squeeze, and then he was off to the hospital to check on mom.
I did some last minute touching up on the house and then showered before work. My face didn't hurt as bad anymore, so I was able to pull my hair up into a ponytail. I slipped on my short shorts and a tank top and hurried off to work. I waved to Sue, and she slipped in the back to help me get dressed.
"I hear your mom might be coming home."
"I hope so."
"You tell her I said hello and to give me a call when she gets settled."
"Thanks, Sue. I will," I said and positioned the last part of the shake costume. Sue handed me the flyers and pointed me in the right direction.
I started down the sidewalk like I had before, doing my best to drum up business for the diner. I passed out twelve flyers and was turning down a side street, when I heard Edward's name. It was a small town, and I was pretty sure there were no other Edwards in Forks, so I turned my body to see who was talking.
"You're overreacting, Edward," the pretty woman said. "I'm fine with having you take classes for your problem, but I don't want to send you away. Alice agrees with me. We think it'd be best if you stayed close to your family right now."
"I'm not safe to be around. I'm a loose cannon, Esme. I hit a girl, I swore to my father to never hit a girl, but I did it, and I need to make amends."
"Then buy her flowers and take her out to make up for it. There's no reason for you to abandon your family over it. From what Alice tells me, this girl forgave you already."
"Bella, Esme, her name is Bella, and she doesn't know any better. She puts up with crap all the time, so her parents don't worry."
"Bella? Isn't that the girl you went to the dance with?"
"Bella Swan, you know her family."
"Oh, the Swans," Esme said with a little less enthusiasm. "She cleaned up nice."
"Yeah, and she has a brain. Go figure. She isn't an easy whore, either."
"Edward, language."
"What, you want me to hang out with the troublemakers like Lauren and Tyler? You heard they got suspended for damaging school property didn't you?"
I watched as Esme pinched her nose. "We're getting off subject here, Edward. I'm not letting Carlisle send you back to military school for hitting a girl. It was an accident. Now, if you want more counseling for anger management, then so be it, but I will not let you take the easy route out and abandon Alice again."
"Abandon?"
"You know that's how she'll feel. Now can't you just make amends with this Swan girl and be done with it?"
"Like I said, she's already forgiven me, but it doesn't stop me from feeling guilty."
Oh, I was so getting so sick of his pity party, and I'd had enough. I marched up to the pair of them and handed my stack of flyers to a very startled Esme. Then I punched Edward as hard as I could, making him fall back and me to tumble over on top of him. Yeah, it was kind of hard to keep my balance in this thing. I obviously hadn't thought this through.
"What the hell, man?" Edward cried rolling me off of him, literally.
"Now we're even, so just get over it! It was an accident!"
"Bella? Is that you in there?" he asked shocked, and I realized he had no idea who had just punched him.
I let out a huff, thinking about lying for half a second, but I just admitted it. "Yeah, it's me, can you help me up?"
It took him and Esme both to get me back up on my feet, and Edward dusted me off. "It was an accident, Edward, and like Alice said, you were defending my honor, which is totally chivalrous, so just let it go. I'm clumsy, I get in the way, and I fall down a lot."
"Like just now?" he teased, and I shoved him, almost falling over again.
"Whoa there, tiger," he said chuckling as he stabilized me again.
"Look, if you think you have anger issues, then talk to someone, but there's no reason to be taking off. Your family would miss you, and so would I. I mean, I only have you as a biology partner for another week, but hey, I'll take what I can get."
He rubbed his face like he was thinking about it.
"Listen to the shake, Edward, it knows what it's talking about," Esme said.
"That's right. Remember, Edward, I'm never wrong."
"That's just in biology."
"And the human body is part of biology, which you just happen to be human, so I'm right, so there."
"Well, I guess I can't argue with that logic," he teased.
"No, you can't. Now, I have to get back to work," I said taking my flyers from Esme. "Thank you," I said to her.
She called after me, "Thank you, giant shake!" waving her hand wildly.
I couldn't help but snicker. I doubted she would ever like me or get my name right, but at least Edward would be staying in town.
EDWARD
Bella was a giant shake. Really, she was. I was watching her shapely legs march down the sidewalk, as she waved her flyers at people. She was a giant shake. I think that turned me on a little. She was in tights and fishnet stockings, rocking a pair of strapped-on heels. I wondered if she had anything else under there, because it sure didn't look like it. I smiled, and my face hurt. I chuckled to myself, remembering how freaked out I was about getting attacked by a giant shake. I almost thought it was a nightmare come to life. Don't laugh. I know you've had bad dreams where your food came after you trying to eat you.
I had to admit I was relieved when Bella's familiar voice came from the costume that had tackled me. I didn't think she had meant to, and I had to smile as she teetered when she gave me another shove. I realized this girl was a bit violent. She had been shoving me and throwing stuff at me all week. The thing was I liked it. She would laugh at me and tease me and play all innocent, when it was obviously her. I mean I could be looking right at her, while she let the wad of paper fly right at me, and she would accuse me of littering, since it had bounced off me. Apparently, littering was just light basketball; last one to touch it was out, or in the case of litter, in charge of picking it up and throwing it in the trash. Luckily for me, I rocked basketball and could easily swish trash into the can.
The best part of last week was when she flung a meatball at me and missed. It hit some kid, who turned and thought the guy standing behind Bella had thrown it, because she looked the picture of innocence, and the dude just let his tray rip, starting a huge food fight. She hid out under the table with me, which was pretty cool. "Now look what you did," I said as spaghetti sauce dripped down the side of the table.
"I don't know what you're talking about," she said with a smile.
"You never do," was my laughing reply.
Esme had agreed to sign me up for anger management classes that met on Saturdays. It was my first class, and she was coming to make sure the teacher knew I wasn't a juvenile delinquent. Needless to say, she looked like one of those parents who always thought their kid was an angel, when they really were the devil. I was pretty sure Bella's parents would look the same way. We both knew better of each other, though. She was definitely a troublemaker.
The anger management class talked about finding outlets for your anger. Music was my outlet most the time so I decided once I got home to do a little playing. I picked up my guitar and just started strumming. My mind drifted to Bella in her giant shake costume, and Esme waving at her like she had just performed some wonder feat like a superhero. I started composing a song about a super shake and its ability to cool off hot heads like me. Bella was my superhero, whether she knew it or not.
Of course, just like Bat Girl, Super Girl, and Wonder Woman, Bella was built, with nice legs and perfect breasts. By the end of the song, I was in dire need of some whacking. I slipped off into the kitchen for a bottle of water and hurried back to my room. I made quick work of my woody and dropped the evidence out of the window and left it open a crack to air out. There was no way I wanted Esme to come into my room thinking it stank like cum. Once relieved, I felt a little guilty and played the song again to make up for disrespecting Bella in my head.
I had just finished the song, when I thought I heard a sneeze. I moved to my window and looked out into the darkness. I would swear this had happened before. I was sure someone was watching me, but I couldn't see them. My eyes felt drawn to a dark patch of shadows, and I knew if I just stared long enough, I would see them move, but they never did. I finally gave up and went to bed. Maybe I could call Super Shake to save me. I chuckled at my own thoughts. I still couldn't believe Bella was a freaking giant shake. HA!
Edward's Super Shake song
She is soft served in a biodegradable cup
She has sweet legs that can mess you up.
She'll cool you down with her frosty goodness,
Her arch nemesis is Mr. Moodiness.
She is ice cold but still so warm.
She always says that I do no harm.
Her strawberry top is twisting me up.
I'll admit I love that strawberry cup.
She is soft served in a biodegradable cup
She has sweet legs that can mess you up.
She'll cool you down with her frosty goodness,
Her arch nemesis is Mr. Moodiness.
She comes running whenever you're down.
It doesn't matter where you are in town.
She'll take you out if you're talking bad.
You really don't want to make her mad.
She is soft served in a biodegradable cup
She has sweet legs that can mess you up.
She'll cool you down with her frosty goodness,
Her arch nemesis is Mr. Moodiness.