Hello everyone! Since I've been knee-deep in writer's block until just tonight, I decided to make this chapter as long as I could to make up for making you all wait once again. Let me know your thoughts or constructive criticisms in a lovely review, those mean the world to me! :) Thank you again to all who read and wait on me patiently to update, I acknowledge that I am very bad at being punctual with updates and I apologize. I'll try to make each installment as long as I can to make up for it :)
REVIEW ANSWERS:
phantomtheiftwilight - I am honored that I've continued to make this story worthwhile for you :) I liked that part of Chapter 10 very much too and it was so much fun to write, it felt like a badass action movie scene. I'm glad you picked up on that! You're a very insightful reader, that's very admirable. Let me know what you think of this chapter! :)
AliceMayqueenJackson - I'm so glad that you like my story so far! And again, I apologize for making you wait so long, but I hope this chapter makes up for it :)
Twigs and dried up roots crunched beneath my feet as I walked. Sunlight glittered through the canopy of the trees, occasionally splashing me with a moment's warmth, then succumbing me to the frigid darkness of the forest floor. My feet ached like I had spent an hour treading on LEGOs and my knees screamed in agony from the lack of support from my combat boots. My skin itched from dried sweat and my clothes stuck to me in inconvenient places. My breath came out quick and labored; I felt like I had just ran a full marathon. I held the sword limply in one hand, letting it hit the side of my thigh as I walked.
Mark... I thought weakly, Where are you... I'm lost...
Suddenly, something white caught my eye. Turning to the left, I saw a skinny tree with a white trunk with patches of brown.
"Sycamore," I breathed. I could hardly hear my voice, it was so broken and misused. "Sycamore... tree... water... somewhere."
I ran wobbly-kneed to the white tree, and put my free hand on the trunk. It was smooth and cool, like a beacon to life. My father had taught me that where there were sycamore trees there was a water source nearby because those trees, like weeping willows, always grew near water. And the slender white trunk stuck out like a sore thumb amongst the million jungle-like fat tree trunks.
I gazed dizzily around the white trunk. In the distance- There! Another white tree! With childish glee, I took off across to the tree, nearly tripping on every upturned root but somehow regaining my balance every time. By the time I threw my body weight onto the next white tree trunk, I could hear the distant rushing of a wide river. If I wasn't so dehydrated, I would have been crying with joy.
I stumbled in the distance of the rushing water, feeling the dryness of my tongue more than ever now, swinging the sword at my side. The further I limped, the louder the water became, like a siren calling out to me to come closer. Hypnotized, I followed the sound obediently. Soon enough, I saw the forest floor drop down into a river bank, and - lo and behold - a gorgeous, flowing river with crystal clear water. The water was so clear in fact that I could see the rocks on the bottom as if the water itself were glass.
I stumbled down to the bank and fell on my knees beside the water, dropping my sword clumsily at my side. I made to dip my hands into the water-
"STOP!" a high-low pitch voice rang out. I jumped, falling back on my butt in shock. Above the bank, a stout figure peered over, his wrinkled and warty face squinting down at me. Even in my disorientation, a burst of relief flowed through me at his face.
"Hoggle!" I called in a shockingly hoarse voice, hardly a level above a whisper.
"What are you doing down there?" he shouted, nearly delirious.
"I was going to drink some water-,"
"That's not water!" he cried. He motioned vigorously for me to get away. "That's a Trick River! It leads to the Bog of Eternal Stench! If you drink it, your breath will smell forever!"
I shuffled backwards as if the river bank had stung me and stumbled to my feet. The incessant dizziness was still attacking my brain.
"Do you have water?" I asked as I started crawling out from the river bank. The world spun around me suddenly and my foot slipped in the wet mud. "Damn it." With Hoggle's help of a strong, outstretched hand, I managed to pull myself away from the Trick River. Strangely, I could have sworn that I had caught a whiff of a truly awful odor... like the unique scent of someone who took a dump in the bathroom and tried to cover it up with citrus aroma spray (what did someone on Tumblr call it? Shitris? I wondered idly).
"Yes, right here," Hoggle said, somewhat reluctantly. He plucked a leather pouch the size of a softball amongst other trinkets from his side and handed it to me. I snatched it from him desperately and began chugging the water.
"Don't drink all of it, now!" Hoggle protested, tugging at my shirt. It took all my willpower to remove the leather pouch from my lips and hand it back to him. My mouth felt less like the Sahara Desert (Sahara means "desert" in Arabic... so the Sahara Desert is actually Desert Desert. Freakin' colonialism, man, I thought drunkenly) but the dizzy spell had only been lifted halfway; I still felt unsteady on my feet.
"God bless you," I said breathlessly. Hoggle just said 'Bah!' and threw a hand, so I added, "No, seriously, you saved my ass back there. Not to mention I'm currently dying of dehydration, and you gave me water. You're getting serious good karma points right now, bro."
"Is that so?" a cool, regal voice asked. Both Hoggle and I jumped, startled, turning around rapidly to see Jareth leaning against the white Sycamore tree, just chilling in his usual regalia (Why are his tights so tight? Damn, that's gotta hurt... well, fashion over comfort, I guess... Oh my God, what is wrong with me...). Jareth smirked at my shocked expression and pushed off of the tree and started walking towards me. He stopped an arm's length away, turning his eyes almost reluctantly to Hoggle, who was practically shaking beside me.
"Woggle-"
"Hoggle."
"Hoggle," Jareth corrected himself and Hoggle seemed shocked that he had corrected him (Tell that sonofabitch, Hoggle! Shove it in his stupid face!). "Could it be that you are helping Gwen?"
"Yes, he is," I answered confidently, much to Hoggle's horror.
"She's lyin'!" Hoggle interjected desperately.
"I don't think she is," Jareth responded coolly, folding his arms and cocking his head to the side in what appeared to be mild interest, but I knew that he was mocking Hoggle. "You know what this means, don't you, Hoggle?"
"No!" Hoggle wailed, dropping to his squat, little knees pathetically. "Not the Bog of Eternal Stench!"
"Hold the frick up," I interceded, stepping in between the two of them. "Ain't nobody going to the Bog of Eternal Farts on my watch, a'ight?"
Jareth scoffed at me like a bold peasant stepping in between a convict and the grand king.
"Oh, and you have the power to control that now? My dear Gwen, do enlighten me."
I rolled my eyes and groaned loudly. I was so done with his arrogance-shit right now.
"Jareth," I began, and Jareth's grin slipped off his face when he saw my solemnness, "I am dehydrated, exhaustion, and irritated as hell. Just give us this one 'Collect two-thousand dollars and Pass Go' and let Hoggle go on his merry way, okay? He was just being a Good Samaritan - a nice person... a very kind, compassionate person."
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Hoggle gaze up at me in what looked like awe and... happiness, perhaps? It was hard to tell because my attention was fixed on Jareth who was pursing his lips in obvious annoyance at me.
"Was he now?" Jareth asked conversationally, giving Hoggle a moment's glance before returning his gaze to me. "And you expect me to let him go... for an act of kindness? Dear Gwen, do you know me at all?"
I sighed, closing my eyes for a moment. It was obvious that King Asshole wasn't going to budge. Damn, I really don't wanna do this...
"Goblin King," I began again, softening my tone to an almost purr. Jareth's eyebrows went up in surprise and Hoggle let out a little gasp of disgust behind me. With a reluctant swallow, I went on, "if you... truly love me, like you say you do, you'll spare Hoggle... please."
For a span of a heartbeat, Jareth gaped at me in shock. Then he regained his kingly composure and regarded me and Hoggle professionally. He held his gaze on mine long enough for me to feel uncomfortable until he said, "You are a cunning one... My Queen." A smirk worked itself onto his stupid face, making me want to bitch-slap it off of him.
"It shall be done," he finished, to my pleasant surprise (Holy shit, that actually worked? Damn... I need to use that line more often). Hoggle gave out a happy whoop, jumping to his feet and tugging at my shirt.
"Ya did it, Gwen!" he cheered. I looked down at him and beamed at his happy, tearful, wrinkled face.
"...On one condition," Jareth added, raising his voice. I let out another loud groan and threw my arms up in exasperation.
"Are you freaking kidding me right now?" I exclaimed, feeling my face heat up in anger. "You do realize that I am this close-," I pinched two of my fingers nearly closed, allowing only a hair's breadth across, "-to slapping the hell out of you?"
King Asshole merely smirked at me, making his flamboyant blonde bangs shift across his forehead.
"What I ask of you is no large favor," he insisted, walking two steps closer. His eyes twinkled with mischievousness. "I ask, with your consent, to kiss you."
If I thought the forest was silent before, it was as silent as a golf tournament right now. It was so silent, you could hear a fly fart, which Olan Rogers in "Ghost in the Stalls" recalls, "sounds like a soft, angelic whistle... it was quite beautiful." I was so shocked that any witty remark failed me and I just gawked at the gall of the Goblin King.
"You grant me this one wish," Jareth continued as if the most awkward silence in existence hadn't just descended on us, "or Hoggle gets sent to the Bog of Eternal Stench. Your choice, dear Gwen."
I glanced down at Hoggle, who looked up at me expectantly.
"Well, what are you waiting for?" Hoggle asked, his tone woven with desperation. "Kiss him already!"
"Thanks for all your support, Hoggle," I deadpanned.
"I help you, you help me," he said simply, and actually had the audacity to smile at me smugly.
Some Good Samaritan... where are those damn ambushing Fireys when you need 'em?
"Okay, fine!" I exclaimed, full of dread. "And for the record, there is a special place in hell for people like you two," I added, pointing at Jareth and Hoggle accusingly. I hesitated on the spot, feeling a dead weight inside.
"Well?" Jareth demanded, tapping a booted toe. "I am not going to wait all day."
"I'll get there when I get there, dammit," I snapped, legitimately nervous now. I took a breath and closed the distance to Jareth. It suddenly occurred to me how tall he was; I had to crane my neck upward to look at him. I took a step back, muttering about neck pain, and steeled myself internally.
"I have you consent, my Queen?" Jareth asked, his blue eyes with misshapen pupils gazing holes through my soul. They were strangely beautiful, almost hypnotizing. For a small moment, I saw the dancing fire of genuine glee in them, like that of the eyes of the lucky guy whose life-long crush accepted a Friday night movie date. For a small moment, I felt something give inside me.
"Yeah," I muttered (Damn you Jareth and your gorgeous eyes). "Let's just get this over with. A quick one, no tongue... if you french-kiss me I will kick you in the balls, you got that?"
"Crystal clear, my love," he said with slight exapseration. He cupped beneath my chin, raising my face up slightly. Now I couldn't look away or yell, 'Psych, bitch!' and run away with Hoggle... even if I did do that, I might as well be signing my own death warrant. For a slight moment, Jareth even seemed to hesitate. Perhaps wondering if he was dreaming or not (well this is freaking nightmare for me). His eyes seemed to search mine for any trickery or deceit, but found none. I wasn't going to run away this time, as much as I wanted to.
I thought, If Gwen Jackson is anything, she is not a coward-
It all happened so quickly. It wasn't like in the movies when the two people take so long to lean in and kiss and everyone in the audience is ready to throw their popcorn at the screen. Fluidly, Jareth leaned in and kissed me as if we'd done it a hundred times. I stiffened at the warmth of his lips against mine, but then...
Hm. Not as disgusting as I expected. He shifted his lips slightly, but otherwise held them there, like I'd asked. I felt him snake long, gentle fingers through the back of my hair and I felt comfortable yet exhilarated all at once; at peace and childishly giddy simultaneously.
What the hell? the logical part of my brain asked in bewilderment. But, for once, I opted to ignore it. I let myself admit that this was nice. Very nice.
Then I remembered the simple engagement ring on my right hand and I felt a dull electric shock through my system. Luckily, we both pulled away at that point.
When we had pulled away, I felt like I'd just surfaced from euphoria back into cold reality; and one look at Jareth's face told me he felt the same way. His regal features were tinted a slight red in his cheeks and the fire in his eyes that I'd seen five seconds earlier was an inferno of joy. Neither of us said anything but just kind of looked of at each other with the same 'holy shit' expression.
"Um, should I leave you two alone?" Hoggle asked hesitantly from behind us. Oh yeah, that's right. Hoggle's here, too. Shit, that's gonna be embarrassing later.
"Nope, we're done here," I said quickly, regaining my basic speaking functions from Hoggle's interjection and stepping back a few steps.
"Hoggle, you are spared," Jareth declared, almost breathless but attempting a kingly composure, "from your fate. Do not tempt me to bring it upon you again."
Hoggle nodded furiously.
"No need to tell me twice," he proclaimed, and hurried off in another direction, waddling on his stout legs.
See ya, Good Samaritan, I thought with sarcasm.
"And then there were two," I said, not for any particular reason. It ended up making our isolation even more awkward, so I wished I hadn't said anything.
"That was very... pleasant," Jareth finally broached, as awkward as a teenager on his first date. He became very interested in something on the forest floor. "I am glad that we could reach a compromise."
"Yeah, I guess," I said, downplaying it with a shrug. "I've kissed better."
Jareth looked up and raised an eyebrow.
"Oh? And who would kiss better than a king?"
Like my fiance, the logical part of my brain shouted. But I opted for a better answer.
"Your mom."
"Pardon?"
"Nothing," I said, trying not to laugh. "It's... it's a joke, in the Aboveground or whatever. Y'know, like when someone says something like, 'You're stupid,' you say, 'So is your mom'..." I trailed off at Jareth's lost expression. "Okay, you're lucky you're a good kisser."
Wait, I thought with a sudden, seizing horror. Did I say that out loud? Jareth's incredibly pleased smile made me certain. I wanted to punch a tree in half with the sword that I'd forgotten was still in my hand.
"I knew you enjoyed it," he said smugly. I felt the urge to bitch-slap him again.
"So did you, you ass," I countered, folding my arms. "I may not be royalty but I'm a damn good kisser... Don't give me that look! I've got references, okay? Just ask anyone at my alma mater. I'm that girl who's got her name written on the bathroom stalls with a ten-out-of-ten next to it in black Sharpie, a'ight?"
"Is that so?" Jareth asked, folding his arms and raising an eyebrow. He was smirking, probably because he knew I was lying.
"No, not at all," I confessed. "I dated one guy through college and I'm a virgin. But he said I was a really good kisser, so you can ask him."
"You're a virgin?" he asked with an interest that equalled awe and ignoring everything else I said, even the fact that I had just mentioned by fiance. He seemed to scrutinize me in a new light. "You truly are a pure Queen."
"A regular Queen Elizabeth I," I scoffed. It dawned on me that I was talking about sex and virginity with my sworn enemy, at least up until five minutes ago. "Well, if you excuse me, I have to solve your damn labyrinth." I lifted the sword as a gesture, and then let it drop again.
Jareth nodded at the sword and smirked, his hypnotizing blue eyes twinkling with that familiar mischief again. I found it strangely charming now, for some reason. And, for the first time, I acknowledged that talking with him came naturally, as if I'd known him for ages. For an instant, I was reminded with a pang of the many instances when an awkward silence had descended between Mark and I. I shook off the feeling before I could focus on it any more.
"I see that you found my gift useful," Jareth was saying in his smooth, regal voice. "How are you enjoying my labyrinth, now that you speak of it?"
"Oh it's been a damn good time," I said sarcastically, reminded of the exhaustion in my legs and the slight dizzy spell that I was barely able to ignore. "Having the time of my life here. I just love feeling exhausted and dehydrated and decapitating Fireys... actually that last part was really awesome. Otherwise, I'm totally beating your ass at this bet, but I feel like shit."
"Is that so?" he asked, mildly concerned. It took me a moment that he was referring to my lack of good health and not my 'checkmate' statement. "I believe I can improve your current state, my Queen."
He spread out his two hands and waved them in front of each other at waist level and then brought them up and revealed a glass ball in one palm. He tossed it to me with surprising finesse and I managed to catch it before nearly dropping it, because in mid-air it had transformed into a much heavier leather gourd. A slight sloshing sound from inside the hollow, light brown gourd told me that it was filled to the brim. It had a leather strap attached to it for convenience.
I was lost for words, overwhelmed by his generosity. I gazed back up to say thank you, but he was gone. In fact, my whole world had changed. I saw two sides of a labyrinth hall on either side of me; no sign of any trees at all. I turned around, and saw the same labyrinth halls that I had seen a few hours ago before I'd fallen into the forest. I wasn't sure if I should feel glad to be out of the forest or distressed that Jareth probably sent me back to the beginning.
"Lady Warrior!" a high-pitch voice called out. I spun around and saw Sir Didymus riding towards me on his trusty dog-steed, with a lumbering Ludo in tow. A burst of joy spread through me as I ran to them with a near desperation.
"Hey!" I cried out happily once I reached them. "Man, I never thought I'd be so happy to see you two."
"Ga-Wen!" Ludo exclaimed in his low, guttural voice. "Ga-Wen okay!"
"We have searched near and far for thou, dear warrioress. Where didst the mysterious hole in the ground take thou?"
"A little place called hell," I said simply, then added for clarification, "the circle of hell where the Fireys dwell." Sir Didymus and Ludo both visibly shuddered.
I lifted the gourd to my lips and took a long chug. Sweet, delicious water poured down my throat. Lowering the gourd, my senses sharpened and I finally felt steady on my feet.
So I wasn't been sent back to the beginning... interesting.
"Where did thou get thy gourd?" Sir Didymus asked, his little squirrel nose twitching with curiosity. Then his eyes widened and he exclaimed, "And thy bejewled sword!"
"It's a long story," I said, gazing at the sword and thinking of the moment Jareth and I shared. I wanted to keep hating him, but after that moment and him giving me the gourd full of water and bringing me out of that godforsaken forest... "But it sure changes things," I added as an afterthought, more to myself than to the two knights. To Sir Didymus' curious head tilt, I changed the subject. "Hey, do you guys know what one shepherd said to the other?"
"Hm," Sir Didymus wondered, rubbing his little, furry chin, not understanding the rhetorical nature of my question. "Shepherds tend to flocks of sheep and move them to and fro... didst they agree unanimously to take their flocks elsewhere?"
"Something like that," I said, feeling a smile work its way onto my face.
We started off again, Sir Didymus and I walking side by side and Ludo bringing up the rear. As we began our trek, I shouldered my leather gourd- the sunlight glinted off of something gold. Still walking, I inconspicuously lifted the gourd and gazed at the other side. In elegant gold calligraphy were the words: For my Virgin Warrior-Queen, Gwen I. With all my love, the Goblin King.
What have I gotten myself into, I thought with a flurry of emotion as I let the the gourd hang at my side, certain that the gold calligraphy wasn't facing outward. I glanced down at my right hand and the engagement ring sitting complacently on my ring finger, and I felt a sharp pang of guilt.