Madge
I can't stop smiling. My best friend is being thrown into the most dangerous game of all in 11 hours, but I can't stop smiling. And it's all his fault. Because of his stupid cute face, and stupid sweet words, and stupid stupid- STUPID! wonderfully earth shaking, mind-blowing kisses that I just can't get out of my head and- UGH! I need to control myself!
I attempt to slow down my heart rate by taking big long breaths, but then I hear his deep rumbling voice telling me of the most inane things, and a giggle slips through my lips, and before I know it I'm practically hyperventilating with excitement. I leap onto my bed squealing like a five-year-old girl getting a brand new doll for her birthday. Oh my god Gale kissed me tonight! I kissed him! We kissed! I mean more than kissed, there was groping (no not there! Not yet;) and moaning and the most amazing feelings, and ohhhhhh it is going to be so hard to keep my hands off him until Katniss gets back.
After an embarrassingly long amount of time, I manage to calm down. I know I need to be more careful with my feelings, because there's always a chance he really will choose Katniss over me. I remember seeing Gale in the lunchroom a couple weeks back, before everything, and I caught him looking at Katniss, and there was this, this look in his eyes - a pang of jealousy shoots through me at the memory.
Oh my god! I am SO stupid! What am I doing?! I'm getting jealous of a look that Gale (who has no obligations to me) gave Katniss (my best friend who could be dead in the next 24 hours) WEEKS ago! This has to stop. I need to be focusing on how on earth I'm going to help Katniss make it out of the games instead of a stupid teenage fling! What is wrong with me?
A tear rolls, unbidden, down my cheek, "Oh god what am I going to do?" I whisper into the dark. My quiet words break open a flood of tears I've been holding back since Prim's name got called that day. My body wracks with silent sobs, and pure agony shreds my heart to pieces. I love her. I love Katniss, she's the closest thing to a sister I've ever had, and I need her in my life. She has always been my solid rock in a sea of helplessness.
Not that I ever physically leant on her shoulder and cried, but if I was ever letting the bad get the best of me I'd look over at Katniss and see such a strong woman surrounded by a wall, impenetrable by anything, except maybe Prim; and just seeing Katniss made me feel stronger, somehow. I just felt like- I don't know? Even on Reaping day when I was scared shitless, I just looked over at Katniss with her head held high, back straight, not wavering for even a second; just looking at her gave me a shot of courage and I was so sure nothing could ever go wrong. But it did, and ever since I lost my rock I've been floating helplessly at sea. Except when I'm with Gale.
With Gale it's more like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff, right on the brink, where I know I should step back to safety, but I have a strange urge to jump. Jump where? I don't know, but it's all together thrilling, beautiful, and terrifying. Because when I jump off that cliff I could fly, I could soar with Gale and it could be the most amazing experience of my life, but there's also a chance that I'll take the leap and I'll pummel straight down to the cold hard ground and implode into nothing. So for now I'll stay on the safe side and remain on the cliff.
My body is lead. I can hardly move my heavy limbs, and can't even keep my eyelids from being weighted down. This roller coaster of emotion has me exhausted. I let sleep take me over, not that I have much of a choice.
…
Gale
I whistle a happy tune on my walk back home from dropping Madge off. I can't get her out of my head. Her snarky comments, her beautiful face, her heavenly laugh, those divine kisses and her adorable little freckles. Whoa, adorable freckles? Heavenly laugh? What has gotten into me?
Madge. That's what, Madge has gotten into me.
I try my best to shake her from my head before I think something even more dopey than adorable freckles, but Madge Undersee isn't exactly something you can shake. Especially after those kisses.
After our last kiss in the meadow we had about four more last kisses on the walk back to her house, and then one more LAST last kiss pressed against her house. And boy oh boy I do not know how I'll be physically capable of keeping my hands off of her wonderful curves, and my lips from hers.
Kissing Madge was unlike any experience I've had before. And trust me, I have a lot of experience. Of course I've always had pleasure with girls before her, but nothing like that. I didn't even know it was possible to feel that much, and all we did was kiss! Ok, and maybe a little under the shirt action, but hell! If I get that much from her kisses I think if we were to have sex, my mind would just shut down from pure pleasure overload.
Oh. Oh no. Sex with Madge is not something I should be imaging right now. I just managed to calm myself down from our last kiss.
Okay okay, I imagine old Mrs. Copeland, with her wart-covered face naked. Ugh, I shudder, that's a disgusting image. I mean it took care of my situation down there but blehhh. Yuck.
I slip up the couple stairs to my house, and try as quietly as I can to open the door without waking anyone. It's super late, I hadn't meant to stay out this late, but Madge- ahh Madge. I think of how we talked tonight wrapped all up in each other, just saying whatever random thoughts that came to our minds. And not even just random unimportant things, we told each other things we've never told anyone else before. I've never done that with a girl before, or anyone really. It was really, really nice.
"What's with that dopey grin you got on your face?"
I must have jumped three feet in the air, at least. My mother is sitting in her rocking chair reading in the lamplight.
"Holy fu-freaking you nearly scared the shit out of me."
"Language, " she reprimands lightly. "And I wasn't waiting up for you or anything, I was just reading my book. But since I am up why don't you tell me what you've been up to tonight?"
"Yeah I'm so sure you weren't waiting up for me. Whatcha readin?" I stealthily change the subject.
"Oh no siree, you're not getting out of this that easily. What were you up to that put that made you so happy? Was it a girl? Hmm, was it a certain blonde that we all know and love?"
"Maaaaaa," I say indignantly but I can't help from a smile to break across my face at the mention of Madge.
"Oh my! It is, isn't it!?" She says waaay to gleefully in my opinion.
I sigh heavily and shake my head, "Ma please, don't." She gets too much enjoyment out of my misery. I don't even know what Madge and I are yet, I'm ot ready to try to define it to my mom.
She sighs, "Okay, okay, but at least tell me, do you like her?"
I'm abput to tell her to mind her own, but she means well, and thinking of Madge brings a smile back to my face, "Yeah, Yeah Ma I like her."
She smiles from ear to ear, "I can't believe it, my son with the mayor's daughter."
"I know, I can't believe it either.." I shake my head my disbelief surely showing on my face.
Ma walks up to me and hugs me tightly to her, and I pull her in tighter. "I love you Gale baby, and I'm happy for you, but you be careful okay? And don't hurt that girl, you hear?"
I pull back, "Ah Ma please-"
"No, Gale. I'm serious, I know you've kind of had your eye on Katniss here lately, and you best not be using that poor Undersee girl. Cause if you are I-"
"Ma, stop. It's not like that, okay? I'm not using her, and we're not even really together yet, so quit it with all the lectures."
She sighs in resignation, "All right, you can just go on to bed then, goodnight."
"Thanks Ma. Love you too, g'night." I lean down to give her a hug and kiss on the cheek.
On my way out she can't resist not making another comment, "By the way, I totally saw this coming." I shake my head, and she laughs quietly.
I shut my bedroom door quietly behind me, and strip down to my underwear slipping into bed as quietly as possible so as to not wake anyone. As soon as my head hits the pillow, I'm surprised to find that I'm actually overwhelmingly tired. Right before I'm about to let myself fall into a deep slumber, I think of Katniss. Shit. She could be dead in the next 24 hours, and here I am practically replacing her already. Well, I'm not really replacing her, because no one could ever replace Katniss, and Madge is nothing like her at all. Katniss can do this though, I believe in her. I think as my eyelids droop shut.
But believing in her doesn't stop me from startling out of sleep every half hour, with cold sweats, seeing her death in a million different gruesome ways.
AN: Guys I know! I know! It has taken me FOREVER to update! I am so sorry! I just let my self procrastinate big time.. I swear, and I'll try to be a more dedicated writer! Not making any promises, but I'll try! Please review tell me what you're thinking!