The Princess Bride quote in the last chapter was, "You're trying to kidnap what I've rightfully stolen!"
This one's longish to make up for the shortish one last time. Hope you like it.
"I think that's everything," Dick told Harriet. "Time to check out."
"Do you have enough money?"
"Oh, sure. Don't worry about that."
"All right, then; do you mind if I head to that gift shop next door?"
"Go ahead. I'll be right behind you."
Harriet patted Dick's arm and bustled out of the book store.
Dick hadn't been shopping with his aunt in years. She was an early-morning bargain hunter of the adventurous kind; very fun to be around. Dick felt much more at ease today than he had the day before.
Once he had checked out, he started across to the gift shop. Before he'd gone a step from the sidewalk, two men ran out of the alley to his right, shouting strange things.
"Outta the way!"
"He's a lunatic, I tell ya!"
Dick stepped back as one of his bags was knocked from his hand. He picked it up slowly, looking in the direction the men had come from.
It was still early, and in the city the sunlight scarcely touched the pavement before mid-morning. The back of the alley looked dark and foreboding. Dick found himself drawn to the darkness, unable to suppress his curiosity. Gotham was infamous for its dark alleys, and anyone who knew anything about it knew not to go down them. Yet he was walking again; he had turned down the alley.
"There you are," Harriet said when Dick rejoined her in the gift shop.
"Sorry, I got a little sidetracked. Find anything?"
"What do you think of this?" She held up a wall plaque which said "Faith, Hope, Love" in fancy letters.
"It's pretty. I like this one." Dick pointed out another which read, "Honesty, Integrity, Loyalty."
"Oh, yes, that's nice. How would you like it for your guest room?"
Dick shook his head. "That's nice of you, but I don't need it. It's just some nice words in pretty letters on a piece of wood."
"I suppose you're right." Harriet put her own plaque back in its place on the shelf.
"Here..." Dick got out his phone and took a picture of the two plaques. "One of these days, I'll find us some blocks of wood and we can make our own."
"That's a fabulous idea. Such a clever boy. And thrifty, like your aunt." She winked.
"Where to next?"
"I thought we might see if there's anything good left at the flea market."
"Good. I've been wanting to go."
"It's settled, then. After that, we can get a bite to eat."
They headed out of the shop.
"You know, I didn't know you had a cell phone."
"Well, I don't use it much. Dad got it for me for emergencies. He didn't want me using it for pictures and music and junk... that's what he got me the laptop for. But... it doesn't really matter much now, does it?"
"No. But not because you shouldn't honor your father anymore. It's just that you'll have to make most of your own decisions now."
"I know."
"Come on, let's not be glum. Let's enjoy our day out."
"OK." Dick knew that after today he would have very little free time. It was bad timing, considering his suspicions about Bruce, but it couldn't be helped. And thinking of Bruce...
"Don't let me forget to call Bruce after lunch, all right?"
"I'll remind you."
The riddle swam in front of Bruce's eyes. He'd tried Google with no luck. This was a Riddler original. He sighed and snapped his phone shut.
"Alfred, I'm going out."
"All right... by the front door?"
"No. The back door."
"And when will you be home? You know you asked Master Dick to phone you."
"He won't do it first thing in the morning. Besides, he and Missus Cooper were planning a shopping trip."
"Very well, but you'll be home by lunch, won't you?"
"Got something special planned?"
"Not so special, sir, but when you miss a meal it does put my whole schedule off."
Bruce fought a smile. "Well, I'd hate to inconvenience you. I'll try to make it in time."
Going out in daylight again... This was getting to be a real drag. But someone somewhere had to know where the Riddler was. A villain like him didn't take failure gracefully. He would try again—if not Princess Ellora, then someone else. Batman needed to be ahead of the game this time.
"I don't know nothin'," the motorcyclist squeaked as Batman's hand closed around his throat.
"Let's get out of here," one of his companions yelped.
Batman ignored the others' retreat and their shouts of "Outta the way!" and "He's a lunatic, I tell ya!"
"Have you ever heard of a double negative?" Batman growled.
"Uh... I-I think so..."
"If you don't know nothing, it means you do know something." Batman pulled his victim forward and then slammed him back against the wall. "I know this is an exhibition motorcycle, and I know you were working a cage gig yesterday on the east side."
"Well... what if I was?"
"Where's the Riddler?"
"I dunno what you're talking about!"
Batman jogged the man's memory via a well-placed fist.
"Ahh... OK. Y-you mean the nut in the green suit, right?"
"That's the one." Batman relaxed his grip slightly.
"All I know is, I get done with my gig an' he comes runnin' back to the lot like a fox on fire, an' he tells us all to split quick. Well, I dunno what kinda trouble it is, see? Cops look at carnies an' they arrest first an' ask questions later. So I tell my guys to take down the cage double-quick an' we all go our separates."
"Which direction did he go in?"
"I don't know, I swear! I was lookin' out for me an' my own skin, see?"
"Where did he come from?"
"Where does any carny come from? I met him at the flea market an' he told me about this gig here. That's all I know. Gimme a break, huh? I don't know any more!"
Every time he says he doesn't know anything, I learn something new. Batman didn't bother to voice the irony. He pulled the low-life around and shoved him back toward his bike. From this position he thought he saw a figure retreating up the alley. It didn't matter. His business here was done.
Bruce was just finishing his dessert when Alfred brought him the telephone.
"Master Dick for you, sir."
"Thank you." Bruce took the phone, slightly surprised that Dick had remembered to call at all. "Hello."
"Hello. Um... I'm just... checking in."
"Yeah. How's it going over there?"
"Fine... How are you?"
"Fine. Ready for school tomorrow?"
"Yeah. I am now. We picked up some stuff today. Oh, and if my lawyer calls, tell him I want my laptop, OK?"
"Sure. Anything else you need?"
"That's it for now."
"All right. Say hello to your aunt for me."
"...OK."
"And call me after school." Bruce waited.
"Um... OK. Bye."
"Goodbye." Bruce handed the phone back to Alfred.
"Well, that wasn't awkward in the slightest," Alfred said, masking his sarcasm expertly.
"I'm no good at this, Alfred. I think Dick's dad must have been senile when he said he wanted me to be his guardian."
"Did he seem senile when he asked you?"
"No... but he didn't seem sick, either, or I never would have agreed."
Alfred sighed.
"What do you want me to do? Tell him, 'make sure you eat your veggies, brush your teeth, do your homework... let's go fishing! I'm proud of you, kid.' That kind of thing?"
"You could do worse than that."
Bruce massaged his temples. "You may have been a good babysitter, but I... I suck at it."
"Like all new skills, caring for a young person comes with patience and practice. Don't give up yet."
"You know what's sad? It's the 'yet' that I'm hanging on to."
That night brought only frustration. Bruce couldn't even manage to sleep in very late the next morning. He spent the early afternoon muddling over the riddle again. His best guess was that the Riddler was planning to ruin someone's reputation—something that once gone, might never be gotten back. Perhaps his own? The first riddle's answer was clearly a bat. It seemed to fit, but he still hadn't solved the riddle, so he still wasn't satisfied. And even if he was correct, it didn't tell him what to do next.
"Master Dick for you, sir."
Bruce took the phone mechanically. "Hey, Dick."
"Hi."
"How was your first day?"
"OK. Met some people. Embarrassed myself. Pretty typical first-day-at-a-new-school stuff. How've you been?"
"Well... stumped. Apparently the Riddler left another riddle at the location where he'd been keeping the princess."
"That's not common knowledge, is it?"
"No... the king is keeping me informed."
"What's the riddle?"
"The name of something vital you lack—remove an 'R' and you'll never get it back. I thought..."
"Don't tell me your ideas," Dick interrupted. "It'll distract me. Let's break it down. The first part is something vital you lack, but we know the word contains an R. Oxygen is vital... so is food and water. Mm, that seems like a dead end. Lack, need... deficit... what's the French word for lack?"
"Manque."
"And have need of is a besoin de... no R's in either of those."
"I didn't know you knew French."
"I'm not fluent, obviously. Thought I might take it next semester. Anyway... more synonyms."
Bruce brought up a synonym finder on his computer. "Abridgement?"
"Take out the R and it makes no sense. What else?"
"Absence, curtailment... that doesn't make sense either. Dearth..."
"Dearth! Take out the R and you have death!"
"How is death something vital you lack?"
"It's not... it's the absence of something vital you need: life. A dearth of life is death, and once you lose your life, you never get it back."
Bruce found himself wanting to say something to the effect of, "You've done it again!" but instead he grumbled, "How'd you get so damn good at riddles?"
"Uh... I don't know. What made you start using expletives as adverbs?"
"Touché. I'll pass this on to the police. You can't tell anyone about it, all right? Not even your aunt."
"You think she'd gossip it over the fence to Missus Meyer?" Dick grumbled.
"No, I just..."
"Yeah, I know. Top secret and stuff. Don't worry. I know how to keep my trap shut."
"OK. Well... I'll talk to you tomorrow, then."
"Yeah. Bye."
When Bruce looked up, he could see that Alfred had heard all of his half of the conversation. "What?"
"Nothing, sir. Only it seems like you almost enjoyed that conversation."
"Horseshoes and hand grenades, Alfred."
"Sticks and stones, Master Wayne."
Earlier that day...
"You were really in a circus? Lucky!"
Dick shrugged modestly. "I grew up in it... that was just normal for me."
His blonde companion was smiling so much, she didn't seem able to eat. Her tray was nearly untouched. "That's so cool, though. Were you an acrobat or a lion tamer or something?"
"No lion taming for me... though I did know a lion tamer. If I'd stayed in it longer, he was going to teach me. I'd have been one of the youngest lion tamers in history. But... then things happened and we moved and stuff."
"Aw, too bad."
"I did do some acrobatics, though."
A few other kids had grouped around their table, most of them girls.
"Were you on the high wire?" one asked.
"Some, yeah."
"What about the trapeze?"
"Yeah. Me and my brother. We had a knife throwing act, too."
"You've got a brother? Does he go here too?"
"No... he, um... he doesn't. Look, you don't want to hear my whole life story..."
"We would if we had time," the blonde said. "You'll have to tell us more tomorrow."
Just then, a tall redheaded boy pushed into the circle. "OK, what's goin' on here? Never seen a new kid before? What's up?" he added to the blonde.
"Dick was telling us about being in the circus."
"The circus?" The redhead guffawed. "And you believe him? I've heard some crazy stories from new kids before, but that takes the cake."
"He really was in the circus though," said a brunette. "Weren't you, Dick?"
"Yes, I was," Dick answered.
"Prove it."
"I don't want to make a scene."
The redhead looked around at the small crowd. "I think you already did."
"Aw, leave him alone, Jim," said the blonde. "He's not hurting anything."
"Yeah? Why you so interested? You like this kid better than me?"
"No. He's just interesting, that's all."
Dick was beginning to realize that he'd stirred a boyfriend-girlfriend pot. Great. "Look, if you want to see some circus stuff, I can show you outside after school," he said hurriedly.
"Oh, sure," said Jim. "And have you 'forget' and go home?"
"I wouldn't do that."
"How do we know that?"
"Well... I guess you don't. But you do know I'm mature for my age. I'm a sophomore at fifteen."
"That's true," the blonde said, smiling.
Jim didn't like it. "So what, you think you're better than me?"
"No... just smarter, maybe."
He didn't even feel the fist in his face. He just heard a few yells and felt himself falling backward off his seat. Hands grabbed at his shoulders and he didn't hit the floor hard. He rolled into a crouch and sprang back up immediately.
"Fight!" someone shouted.
Dick put up his hands, palms opened outward. "No," he said firmly. "There's no fight here. I'm not sore at you, Jim—I had it coming." He held out his right hand. "No hard feelings?"
Jim looked him over distrustfully before taking his hand. "Sure," he grunted. "Come on, Barb."
The blonde walked away with Jim, giving a sympathetic glance back at Dick.
"Are you OK?" the brunette asked. "Do you need to see the nurse?"
"No, I'm fine." Dick's cheekbone was beginning to smart, but he didn't want to explain it to anyone. If he was lucky the bruise wouldn't show until the day was over; then he could claim it happened at home.
"Well, if you're sure. You have English next?"
"Yeah."
"Me, too. I'm Suzy, by the way. Come on, I'll show you the way."
"Great; thanks." In a fight on the first day, Dick thought to himself. Gosh, I hope Aunt Harriet doesn't find out. Let alone Bruce.
Please take a moment to drop a line or two. I'm excited about this story now, but when my steam runs out I might leave it alone for years. It's happened before and it might happen again... :/