The castle gates loomed above us imperiously, daring us to even attempt to enter. In my dirtied, red plaid shirt, torn and muddied blue jeans, and dust-covered black combat boots, I felt terribly underdressed for such a daring endeavor. Shining, metal knight armor seemed more appropriate.
I turned to my companions and mouthed, "Three, two, one... Now." I dashed off around the perimeter of the castle wall as Sir Didymus and Ludo began to shout.
"Halloa, there! I say, if thou have half a mind then thou wouldst come and fight me!"
"Hi! Fight! Mind! Half! Fight!"
I heard Sir Didymus begin hitting the wooden gate with his little golden scepter that reminded me of a happy meal toy. I flinched when the sound of Ludo throwing his full body weight against the wall ricocheted in the air.
That'll get someone's attention, I thought with a grin as I hurried towards the ivy vine. Atta boy, Ludo.
Further down the wall, I saw a long ivy vine scaling the height of the wall.
Perfect, I thought with glee as I ran up to it.
I gripped the ivy vine, hoping upon hope that it would not give way halfway up, and I started to climb. Luckily some of the stones beneath the vine were chipped away so my booted toes had a foothold. Leaves plucked off as I climbed, only heightening my paranoia. I could hear the sound of clanking metal and hooves; the Goblin City guards must've finally heard my companions. This plan was going nicely.
Halfway up, I had to keep reminding myself not to look down. The altitude was dizzying and my muscles ached from the effort. The clouds swirled above me against the yellow-tinted sky in an angry swarm; it sent bad vibes crawling along skin.
Finally, I gripped with a strong hand on the top of the wall and hoisted myself over. Dangling my legs over the side, I had a perfect view of the whole city. Small cottages, toy-like from my altitude, were scattered haphazardly within the city walls. Little goblins scurried along the roads to the left, where the arch of the gates stood. To the right stood Jareth's castle, towering over everything else in its midst and emanating quite the spooky vibe. I gazed at it, feeling something like triumph build within me.
"That's right, Jareth. I'm coming to whoop your royal ass, you son of a-"
A flurry of shouting and clanking swords broke off my vindictive words, startling me into nearly losing my balance on top of the wall.
"On second thought... Jareth, I'm gonna have to trash talk you later. Shit's going down at the moment."
I spotted a large pile of hay directly below me that lay near what looked like a miniature horse stable and pig sty. Swallowing my pride, I pushed myself off of the wall. Gravity gripped my core and tore it downward, forcing my heart upward into my throat and ripping the ability to scream out of my vocal cords. Before my brain could fully register the incredible sensation, my body made contact with the hay and I tumbled down the pile, sending up chunks of hay into the air and onto the ground around me. I rolled unceremoniously onto the dirt and felt the familiar sting of aching pain through my appendages before heaving myself onto my feet with an unattractive grunt.
I quickly took to the ground again when I heard more goblin henchmen passing by, their metal armor clinking and their dog-steeds growling and barking. I hid behind the dented, yet still massive hay stack, watching the goblins until they disappeared within the cottages. Ever so carefully, I tiptoed into the main street and skirted into the spaces between cottages, all the while hearing a scuffle going on near the front of the city and Sir Didymus' high-pitched, medieval trash talking. A familiar voice broke through the din, loudly egging on the goblin henchmen.
"Hoggle," I breathed, pressed against the wall of a cottage. I felt a smile tug at my lips and warmth spread inside me. "You sonofagun... God bless you."
Thanks to the wild diversion caused by my friends near the gates, I neared the castle with ease. As the castle loomed over me imposingly like a death omen, the easiness of of my approach to it gave me a bad feeling.
This place really needs better security, I thought instead.
Dispelling the train of thought, I concentrated on getting into the castle and to the throne room as stealthily as possible. I honestly hadn't planned this far ahead because I had assumed that I would have been captured by goblin henchmen by now, so the only plan I had was to just sprint across the street to the castle and let myself in.
So that's what I did; within seconds, I was inside the castle, panting and sweating beads on my face and down my back, my heart drumming away insanely. The inside of the castle was how I remembered it: dimly lit by torches on the walls, dust-covered stone floor, and two ominous hallways leading into darkness.
I glanced behind me at the wooden door, waiting for someone to burst in and drag me away to the Bog of Eternal Stench or even worse, to grovel at Jareth's feet. Yet again, opposition failed to impede me.
"Damn," I whispered, turning back around and facing the hallways. "I must be on a lucky streak or something... that's new for me, hope it sticks around for a while..." I made a 'not bad' frown, shrugging. I carefully lifted up a torch nearest to me and then took the left hallway on a hunch that it would incline upward and into the throne room.
In the darkness of the hallway, echoes sifted eerily through my ears, taunting me.
"This comedy thing... just isn't working. I'm struggling to support both of us," Mark's voice sifted into my ear. "Freedom doesn't pay the taxes, babe."
Jareth's voice whispering lovingly, "You will sweep the audience off their feet like a grand Queen." Then, in a far more arrogant and threatening tone, "Oh, I am well aware of your beau Mark Jennings. Or, should I say, ex-beau?"
I tried to swat these away like annoying flies, trying to keep my mental composure. But, even as light blinked at me from the end of the nightmarish corridor, the voices wouldn't leave me alone.
"Love you, too," Mark's voice said in his sweet, simple tone and I felt my heart soften. I actually stopped in my tracks, letting his voice echo in my ears.
"I am in love with you," Jareth's voice interceded, making my heart skip and dance suddenly, to the point where I dropped the torch on the ground. I let out a sigh and let irritation displace fear as I stepped over the still-burning torch on the stone ground.
"I didn't sign up for this love-triangle shit," I muttered as I continued on, using the light ahead of me as a guide. "All I wanna do is make a living as a comedian. Is that too much to ask for?"
The light increased and grew brighter and brighter as I neared the end until I stepped through the end of the hallway. As luck would have it, I found myself in the familiar throne room. The circular divot littered with bits of food scraps and pieces of hay sat was in the middle, and Jareth's cloth-draped throne stood imperiously at the far end.
The entire room was empty.
"Hello?" I called, feeling awkward. My voice echoed off of the walls, the only other sound in the room. "Jareth, I'm here to challenge you... Hoe, don't leave me hanging like this... C'mon man, I scaled a damn castle wall and jumped into a pile of hay to get here."
Still silence. I let my hands hit my sides in exasperation, as if my date had walked out on me at a party.
Suddenly, I heard hurrying footsteps up the corridor I had just left. I turned just in time to see Jareth, his blonde hair wild from running and his clothes ruffled, skid into the throne room and stare at me in horrified awe.
"How did you-?" he breathed.
"Caused a diversion. Your guards fell for it. I'd recommend getting a better security system, I literally just walked in. Kinda embarrassing for you," I quipped easily, hooking my thumbs in my denim jean pockets and giving him an easy smile.
Jareth regained his regal composure and pursed his lips.
"Clearly you had a little trouble," he said in a snarl, gesturing with his eyes at the front of my shirt and pants. I glanced down and saw they were covered with dirt and hay, and I shrugged. "Despite distracting my guards-"
"And catching you off guard-"
"-I can assure you that your little escapade is far from over, Gwen," he interceded, clearly pissed. But I wasn't scared of his shitty attitude anymore. He strode towards me several steps, but I refused to step backwards. He stopped just a mere foot away from me, glowering down at me.
"Why exactly are you here?" He snarled. Then, smirking, "Do you give up, love?"
"Just the opposite, exactly," I retorted, folding my arms. "I challenge you to a duel. Gimme that goblin sword back and I'll show you how Ohioans deal with people who piss us off."
To my unease, he openly laughed at me. He took a moment to smooth down his hair with one hand. He smiled condescendingly at me and folded his arms.
"Dearest Gwen, you are so adorable. You should know that I do not duel with swords like an oaf in metal armor. No, I duel using the mind, the true weapon. If you wish to challenge me, I shall present you with a riddle that you must solve." He closed the space between us, and our gazes hardened at each other. "If you solve it correctly, you may leave my kingdom and never hear from me again. If you fail, you must stay here with me forever. I must recommend that you let your brain rest, for I would treat you lavishly as my queen."
"Oh hot damn, how do I turn down that offer?" I responded sarcastically. "Alright, I accept. Gimme your hardest riddle, you royal asswipe."
It only occurred to me then that riddles weren't my forte. I had never been a fan of them, nor, at least as far as I could remember, had I ever completely solved one.
Oh shit.
Jareth walked past me then, around the circular divot, and to his throne. He settled himself down into it and swung his legs over the side comfortably. He gazed at me arrogantly, like a magnificent king to a village peasant. He gestured me closer and, feeling my cheeks heat up with irritation and impatience, I crossed the circular divot and stopped a couple feet away from him.
He seemed to consider the right riddle to give me, gazing up at the ceiling and tapping his fingers on his thigh and humming slightly. Something flashed in his eyes then, and he turned to me with a gaze that seemed unreadable.
"If you break me, I do not stop working. If you touch me, I may be snared. If you lose me, nothing will matter. What am I?"
I stood there, dumbfounded. What the hell?
"Oh, okay," I said, trying to make him think I had completely understood him. "I got this. Umm..." I averted his gaze and stared at the ground and thought hard.
Break me, I do not stop working... touch me, I may be snared... lose me, nothing will matter... damn, this is hard.
"How many tries do I get?" I asked, looking up again and feeling myself begin to sweat again.
He pursed his lips in thought (dammit why does he have to look attractive while doing that) and then responded, "Three."
"Traditional, I like it," I responded absentmindedly. He smiled and nodded at me, which struck me as odd; it felt too normal for some reason. He didn't even question my reasoning, or why I thought three was traditional like Mark had in the past, but just... smiled and nodded in acknowledgment.
Focus, Gwen, I chastised myself, drawing my gaze away from Jareth. Alright... it breaks, doesn't stop working... touches, snared... lost, nothing matters... dammit, this is hard... wait...
"Time?" I inquired.
He raised an eyebrow, which then I took to mean he wanted an explanation.
"Well, if you break time, it doesn't stop working, it just means you've set a new record. If you touch time, you ensnare it, meaning that you get a hold of a steady schedule. If you lose time, then nothing matters because you've missed out of stuff."
Jareth nodded, impressed.
"Very insightful... but wrong."
I gawked at him and felt irritation build up inside.
"Seriously? That was a great answer!"
"Not the one I was looking for," he said loftily. "Two more tries."
I let out an angry huff and started to pace the room. I repeated the riddle over and over in my head, turning the words over and over again.
I sighed and stopped pacing; I was on the opposite side of the circular divot.
"I dunno... books? Or literature?"
"Wrong," Jareth responded, sounding almost bored. I let out an angry cry and kicked over a wooden crate in the corner. "Acts of violence will not help you solve it," he said almost indifferently, very interested in his fingers tapping out a rhythm on his thigh.
I glared at him and continued pacing. As I was trying to unravel the riddle I couldn't help but glance at Jareth from time to time. Sometimes I would see his tapping his thigh in boredom, or I would catch his attentive gaze. I would think I saw something in his gaze, something hidden deep, but then he'd go back to staring at his fingers on his thigh.
This was my last shot. This was my ticket to life with Mark or condemnation to life with Jareth.
Condemnation is such a harsh word, the little rat in the back of my mind pried into my concentration. What if you got it wrong on purpose? What if you just stayed with him and became a glorious queen? He obviously cares about you-
Shut up, I told that troublesome part of my brain, and then went back to unraveling the riddle.
What breaks but doesn't stop working, what can be ensnared when touched, and if it is lost will mean nothing?
"Poverty!" I shouted suddenly as the epiphany hit me. My shout was so loud that Jareth jumped in his seat, ruffling up his clothes again. He gazed at me in shock, and for a moment, I saw true fear on his face.
I figured it out!
"What?" he asked calmly, quickly regaining his indifferent composure.
"Poverty!" I exclaimed again. "If you break it - or break out of it - it doesn't stop working, it keeps going on in all parts of the world, despite that one individual who beat the system. If you touch it, you can get ensnared by it - in other words, you can lose all your money by some kind of circumstance or circumstances and then be stuck in poverty. If you lose it, or break away from it, it will mean nothing because you literally had nothing to lose! But, yet I suppose it would mean everything that you had nothing, thus it literally means nothing."
Jareth's jaw had dropped open, and he just stared at me for a while as though I'd grown three heads or told him that men's tights had gone out of style.
"Thoughts?" I asked, getting a terrible feeling. He murmured something in a low tone in response, his gaze shifting into the distance.
"What?" I asked, that awful feeling intensifying.
"False," he said louder, dead tone. "That is wrong. You lost."
The room was dead silent. Jareth was gazing at at the floor in disbelief. He moved his feet to the floor and kept his gaze there.
"The answer was my heart."
Everything moved in slow motion. I heard Jareth's words long after he had spoken them, and they wafted through my ears like molasses.
"If you break it, it doesn't stop working. It keeps beating. If you touch it, I will be ensnared in your will and your life. If you lose my heart, it will mean nothing to you."
Something crumbled inside me. Not only had I failed, but the immense guilt that was crushing me under its weight was dizzying and I wanted to collapse to the ground and let it finish me off.
"You win," I heard myself say, shocked to hear how broken my voice sounded. Jareth's head snapped up then, gazing at me. "A deal is a deal..." something caught in my throat, and I gasped out in the beginning of a sob, "I'll stay."
The look on Jareth's face was something I never expected to see. He looked so broken, so distraught, so ashamed. His kingly appearance had disappeared into the look of a boy who had gotten himself into too much trouble and now saw the light.
He ran a hand through his hair, just as I had the instinctual need to do so to my hair, making my hand stop halfway to my head. I let it flop to my side as his hand rested on his forehead and he let out a troubled sigh.
"What have I done," he murmured, almost to himself. "Oh, how history repeats itself..."
Words were caught in my throat, words I desperately wanted to say but I was too grief-stricken to speak them.
"Gwen," Jareth whispered, still sitting on his throne, but seeming like an ill fit for it. "I am so sorry." Then he squared his shoulders, sat up straight, and regained some of his old regal quality. He looked me in the eyes, and I finally saw what he had been trying to hide: sorrow. "You shall never see me again."
I opened my mouth to say the words on my mind when a cold chill whipped my hair around my face, obscuring my vision. Desperately pulling my hair out of my face, I mouthed the words on my lips before they could fade away: I love you.
I opened my eyes and saw...
A road. An asphalt road, littered with bits of plastic and soda cups. I felt cold metal beneath my hands, and upon glancing around, I saw a see-through, plastic booth around me.
A sudden surge of adrenaline shot through my veins and I jumped up with a happy cheer and gazed around at the old buildings that I had always passed on my walks home from work.
"I'm home," I whispered, feeling happy tears course down my cheeks. "I'm home!" I shouted into the night, causing someone to shout angry British cuss words at me. "Oh God, it was all a dream. Oh my God, oh thank God!" I reached up to wipe my forehead when my hand bumped my nose. It was clean.
Didn't I have a nosebleed from the guy who punched me at the show? I wondered. I decided not to think too hard on that.
"Oh man, Mark must be worried sick," I said with a sudden epiphany. "I must've fallen asleep on the bench and missed the bus! Dammit, Gwen, you know better." For a moment, I did remember the broken gaze of the Goblin King and the words, 'I am so sorry...You shall never see me again' and the response I had so dearly wanted to say but couldn't... I decided that the upsetting show had given me an upsetting dream, especially since my fight with Mark earlier this morning.
"Wait, is it even still today?" I wondered, reaching in my back pocket. For what felt like the first time in hours, I felt a phone there. I yanked it out and turned on the screen: 11:50pm. It was still today! What time was my show? 10pm? Yes! I've only been gone a couple hours!
Without a moment's hesitation, I took off down the street to my apartment, not even considering on waiting for the bus.