Chapter 32 - On the Run

BELLA

I couldn't keep Edward from his dream. He had a plan, and I wouldn't hold him back. My whole person ached, as I quickly walked away from him. I felt my very soul was collapsing in on itself as I undressed. I was wiping my face free from snot and tears, when I heard the back door open.

I knew immediately it was him. Edward pulled me into his arms, holding me tightly. "This isn't over," he said with conviction. "We're going to figure this out. I want you in my life, Bella." His warm hands soothed my tense back and caused my skin to tingle.

He kissed my neck and then my cheek, making his way to my lips. I took what I could get. What I could keep of him, because I wanted to keep him all, but I knew it wasn't fair to hold him back. I would take what he would offer and give myself to him in return.

EDWARD

She let me hold her and kissed me in return. I was worried I had overstepped my boundaries by coming into her house unannounced, but I felt her fingertips sliding under my shirt. She started tugging it, and I freaked out a little, wondering where Chief Swan was with his gun. I definitely didn't want him to catch me making out with his topless daughter in his house.

I finally got up the nerve to ask, and she snickered at me. "Mom's in the hospital again. She's doing okay, but once again, I'm all alone." The last words hung heavily in the air. I felt so hot, and my body was begging me to attack her, but I refused to do anything to upset her more. Her next words were just downright shocking.

"Shower with me."

I stood there, gapping at her like a codfish for a few minutes, watching her undress the rest of the way. Naked now, she turned around and pulled my shirt off of me. I was completely useless and didn't help her, because I was too distracted by her breasts. They were so perfect and perky. I had heard about licking breasts, and I wanted to see what they tasted like.

Of course, my focus completely changed as soon as she started to undo my pants. She pulled them open and smiled at me, giving me a wink when she pinched my butt. My dick was doing his best to get her attention. I was two seconds away from covering it with my hands and hoped she didn't notice I was about to poke her in the eye.

Yes, the eye. She pulled my pants down the rest of the way and went down on her knees. My chest was heaving I was breathing so hard. She undid my shoes and pulled them off with my socks. "I should've taken these off first," she said, as she worked around the jeans that were doubling as shackles at the moment.

I wanted to say something, anything, but my tongue was out of commission; wait, no, it wasn't. I kept licking my lips in anticipation of tasting any part of her. I wanted to kiss and lick her all over. I wanted to show her how beautiful and cherished she was, how amazing she was all over.

When she finally tugged on my boxers, they caught on my dick, and I groaned. She giggled and stood up. "They seem to be caught on something," she said coyly. "I wonder what it is. It seems rather big. Do you mind if I take a look?" she asked.

I wanted her to look and let her know that. She pulled the waist of my boxers out and peeked down into them. Her head was leaned on my chest, and her hair tickled my body, sending tingling shocks all through me. "Look, he's waving hello," she said when I twitched at her proximity.

"He's very friendly," I was finally able to get out and wanted to kick myself for sounding like such a horny jerk.

"Hmm, would he like to shake hands then and get properly introduced?" she asked, and I wasn't sure if she was joking, but I introduced her all the same.

"Richard, this is Bella, Bella, this is Richard, but you can call him Dick for short."

"There's nothing short about him," she smiled, but then she walked away. I guess there was to be no shaking going on.

She turned back to me. "Come on, shower's in here. We have to clean up before you can come into the house."

I followed after her, my eyes never leaving her, as I watched her turn the water on and set out the towels and soap. She finally stepped under the spray, and I was mesmerized by the water dribbling down her body. She soaped up her hair and then closed her eyes, rinsing it off. With her eyes closed, I felt braver and stepped into the shower with her. That was a huge mistake, because my body felt magnetized. I was so drawn to her that I ended up holding her in my arms, as she rinsed her hair out. I started kissing her neck and helped work the soap out of her hair while holding her mouth against mine. Her body felt warm, slick, soft, and amazing against mine.

We finished rinsing her hair, and then she pushed me back a step. I was worried I had upset her, but then she took a handful of soap and started washing my body. She did her best, getting every inch of me, only ignoring where I wanted her most. Finally, she soaped up our friend, Richard, and I groaned, pulling her to me and kissing her again deeply. She only washed me lightly and then rinsed me off.

I was still panting with my eyes closed, when I felt her leave the shower. She handed me a towel and told me to follow her. I did as she said, because at this point, I would follow her off a damn cliff. She led me up to her bedroom. I shut the door behind us and crossed the room. Dropping my towel, I pulled her into my arms, kissing her roughly, because my body was on fire, and I was seriously exploding from the inside out.

She surprised me by pushing me back to her bed, straddling my hips and rubbing against me as we kissed. I had never been this close to a girl, and it felt amazing. Her warm wet body was sliding perfectly against mine. We had ground against each other before with clothes on, but this was insane.

My hands found her breasts, and I loved the way she responded to my touch. I nudged her onto her back and attacked her breasts, licking and kissing her while listening to her body respond to me. She sounded so beautiful. I wanted her so badly.

She must have been reading my mind. "I want you," she whispered, and I attacked her mouth again, pressing between her thighs.

"What do you want? Tell me, please tell me. I'll give you anything," I panted.

She smiled up at me and pulled me down for a kiss. "I want you to be my first."

"I want you to be my first, too. I want to be with you forever, Bella. I swear we'll figure out a way," I reassured her. This would not be a fuck and run.

She smiled at me sadly and kissed me again. This one was filled with her heart and warmed my very soul. I loved her. I knew I did for sure, and at that very moment, I knew she loved me. She shifted her hips, and I was just on the verge of entering her. Her legs wrapped around me, pressing me forward, and I didn't have the will to deny her anything. She would always hold all of me, whether she knew it or not.

I moved forward slowly, I felt her body tense, and she gasped as I took her virginity, and I gave her mine. It was amazing, awkward, and beautiful. She was so tight and slick. Her body hugged me tightly, pulling me deeper. She felt as if she was made for me. I think maybe she was, because for me, she was it. There would never be anyone else but her. I came fast, but she let me hold her tightly, letting me know it was okay. She just felt so good.

My phone started to ring, and I saw it was Esme and the time that was on it. "She just misses me," I whispered.

"We all do," she said kissing my nose, and it made me smile.

"I love you," I said softly.

"I know, and I love you, too," she said shifting in my arms, kissing me again.

"I wish I could stay," I said, never wanting to leave her.

"I wish you could stay, too, but family calls," she said, and I knew she understood.

The next day, I went back to her house, and she met me on the back porch. "How is your mother doing?" I asked her.

"The usual, I already donated for her, but it still takes a while for her body to fully respond."

"When are you expecting her home?" I asked, and she raised an eyebrow at me.

"Looking for round two, Mr. Cullen?"

I pulled her into my arms, kissing her again. I loved that she was mine. She was all mine, and I was hers. It didn't take much for us to end up back in her room. I was determined to make it better for her today.

I had spent most the night trying to find ways that we could be together. In the end, I hadn't come up with anything, but I thought if I talked to Jasper, maybe we could come up with something together.

We lay cuddling after round two. She was smiling and panting still. I was pretty sure I had given her an orgasm. She really seemed to enjoy it this time around.

"I'm going to find a way for you to come to New York with me," I told her.

"Don't. I can't leave my mom, you know that," she said sounding a little annoyed.

"I'll find a way to make it happen, okay."

"Stop trying to get my hopes up, Edward, it's just cruel. You know how much I want to, but we just can't be together there. I'm stuck here, and you have a life you need to get back to living, but I'll always be here waiting for you."

It felt like she had ripped my chest open. "We are together, Bella," I argued.

"We are now, but in the end, I understand that we really can't be. I can't expect you to wait around for me until you get a free moment to come back here. I won't be the one holding you back."

"You're not holding me back!"

"Don't make this harder than it already is, Edward. I love you. I wish my life was different and that I wasn't needed here in Forks, but leaving to live with you could literally cost my mother her life."

I felt my eyes burning. I didn't realize I was crying until she brushed my tears away, ignoring her own running down her face. "At least you'll always know where to find me," she said and kissed me before I could argue with her. "Thank you, Edward, for loving me. I'm going to miss you," she said and pulled me up off her bed and led me to the door. "Thank you for giving me something I thought I'd never have," she said, and I wished she would stop talking like it was the end, like we were over, because we couldn't be together right now.

"We're not over, Bella."

She frowned. "Edward, you've got to live your life, not waste it by holding out for me. I understand, and I'm doing my best to accept it, honey, just let it be."

"Bella, stop this."

"NO!" she snapped. "It's over, Edward. You're going back to New York, and waiting around to see each other every few months is ridiculous! It wouldn't be for just a short time, it would be for the rest of my mother's life, there's no end to this. It isn't going to work! You know that as well as I do! Don't make this any harder than it has to be."

I stomped out, thoroughly pissed. I had never heard of a girl fucking and running, but that was exactly what was happening, damn it, and there was nothing I could do about it.

BELLA

I had to be certifiably insane. It was Edward's last day in town, and I had broken up with him. I was so stupid. I didn't understand why I had done it now. Okay, maybe I did. I could never leave Forks, and I knew he was off to bigger and brighter things. There was no way I would tie him down to Forks, causing him to deviate from his dream.

I knew he had plans, and there were others counting on him. I couldn't be the one to mess that up for him. I might be trapped, but Edward would have a life. He had already gotten out of Forks. I would not pull him back in.

I threw myself into my work, but I couldn't stop myself from looking at the calendar Edward had given me with his winter break clearly marked. He would be in town any day now, and I hated that I was dying to see him. Edward had probably moved on already. He was incredibly handsome and would have no problems finding a new girl easily. That thought crushed me. I wanted him to be just as sad and lonely as me.

What the hell had I done?