Chapter 33 - Frozen Soul

EDWARD

Life sucked in New York without a Bella vacation to look forward to. It made everything I was doing feel pointless, especially since she was the catalyst that had gotten me and Jasper turned on to the whole law enforcement thing. We planned on using our crazy ideas to trap and convict known criminals who were too smooth to get caught. When we did the research, it was easy to find a lot of alleged criminals, but in the end, they all got off. Jasper and I planned to rectify that.

Thankfully, when Jasper went home to Texas for Thanksgiving and told his parents the whole plan, they were proud of him. I was relieved, because I knew he was really stressed that his parents wouldn't support his decision. Of course, he still had to join the weekend warriors, aka the National Guard. They wanted him to be able to volunteer if he felt compelled to.

He came back not just relieved but excited for our future. Alice was all over him, hugging him and jumping up and down. He swung her around in a circle and kissed the top of her head. I knew it should have annoyed me more that he was celebrating with my little sister, but my heart wasn't in it to fight with them. I felt broken.

I pushed through my classes and hid in my homework. Alice called me antisocial, but I didn't see a point in socializing anymore, because the person I wanted to socialize with didn't want to be with me anymore. I tried to understand why it had happened. I knew what she meant. We were stuck on different coasts, and I would never be able to do what we had planned in the small innocent town of Forks. There were no major criminals to take down.

Her being right didn't stop me from missing her. We had spent countless hours talking on the phone and over the internet. I had felt closer to her than I did anyone else. Even my sister. I also knew Bella better than she realized, and I should have seen this coming. For some reason, she always saw herself as a burden, like she wasn't worthy of a life. I knew she needed to be close to her mother, but even so, I knew her mother would not be happy with the way she was living her life. I wanted to point it out, but it wasn't my place, and I didn't want the already weak Renee to get worse by upsetting her.

Don't get me wrong; I wasn't giving up on Bella and I being together, I just hadn't figured out a way yet. Unfortunately, law enforcement didn't pay that well, and open-ended tickets were expensive. We would basically have to keep one for when her mother needed her, and she would need to find a job she would be able to keep, even if she had to leave at a moment's notice. In the end, I knew Bella would be too worried about her mother to be happy with me in New York.

It was Christmas break, and I wasn't going back to Forks just yet. I needed to find the solution before I returned. There was no way I could handle facing Bella when she wasn't mine. I had a feeling I wouldn't be able to control myself, and I didn't want to fight with her over something she really didn't have control over. She had to stay and be there to donate plasma for her mother. Renee's life depended on Bella. There was just no way around it.

"You're coming with us," Alice spoke breaking me out of my brooding.

"What?"

"Esme is freaking out as it is. She can't get a flight to New York because of the weather. Jasper and I are driving south and then catching a plane. You're coming with us. Esme and Carlisle will be meeting us in Texas."

I shook my head, unsure how things had escalated so quickly between Jasper and Alice. I had been sure they were just friends, but just two nights ago, I had caught them kissing and punched Jasper in the face. Being the southern gentleman he was, he took it in stride and told me he had proposed to Alice. I was floored when my baby sister held up her hand, sporting a diamond ring. "Isn't it beautiful? It was his grandmother's. He picked it up over Thanksgiving," she practically squealed at me.

I looked at Jasper, shocked. "Thanksgiving?" I asked.

He shrugged. "I knew that night when I first met her, boss. I was just bidding my time until she saw it, too. Thank heavens it didn't take long. I didn't know how much longer I could handle her not being mine," he said pulling my sister into his arms. I stopped myself from pulling her away from him, because she seemed so happy. I just turned and walked out, not wanting to be around a happy couple. It wasn't fair that they got to be together, and I didn't get to be with Bella. It wasn't their fault, though, so I didn't want to take it out on them.

"Edward!" Alice yelled after me. I stopped in the hall, and she slammed into my back. "You're coming whether you like it or not, and you'd better act happy about it, when we announce it to his family."

I turned and hugged my little sister. "I am happy for you, Alice." Really, on some level, I was happy that she could have what I couldn't.

"Good, now start acting like it, because we're going to be staying with Jasper's family for the holidays."

Christmas sucked. I asked Esme about Max and learned that Bella was babysitting our boy. That just rubbed salt into my open wound. My aunt and uncle were not aware that I was no longer Bella's boyfriend, but I was glad she was the one caring for Max and not some stranger. I knew he was in good hands with Bella, and apparently she would be collecting the newspapers and mail for Carlisle and Esme as well. Basically, she was housesitting, and I was absolutely miserable.

Eleazar and Carmen Whitlock were very kind and welcoming people, and once they caught wind that I was single, they introduced me to their very sexually aggressive niece, Tanya. I spent the rest of the trip too busy avoiding her advances to mope about Bella.

I was relieved when I finally made it home. That was until the wedding madness began. Alice was on the phone nonstop with Esme and Carmen. It was the beginning of February that Alice came running into my room, squealing with excitement. "Esme and Carlisle are moving out!"

"Moving out?" I asked confused.

"They're moving out here to New York! Esme wants to be closer to us, and since we plan on settling here for a few more years, they'll be moving to be closer to us!"

Alice was jumping around all excited, but all I could think of was Bella. They couldn't move, how was I supposed to fix things between me and Bella, if I didn't have a reason to go back to there?

"Why don't you look excited?" Alice pouted.

I shook my head. "No, it's fine." I had to find a way and fix this fast.

"Well good, I'm glad you think it's 'fine,' because we're going to Forks over spring break to help them pack up and move here."

Spring break came too fast, and word had gotten back to the Whitlock's that we were going to help move Esme and Carlisle to New York. They sent Jasper's brother, Peter, and of course Tanya, their horny niece, to come help us pack up. The only good thing about this was I would get to see Max. He would finally be moving closer to me, and once Alice and Jasper were married, it was decided that I would move back in with Esme and Carlisle. I would get to keep my boy.

BELLA

I house sat for the Cullen's, taking care of Max and the mail and stuff. I recognized I had a problem, when I woke up for the third time in Edward's old bed. I missed him so much. He smelled so good, and when I lay in his bed, it was almost as if he were laying there with me. I hated that I had fallen in love with him, and I almost wished I had never known love, so I wouldn't know what I was missing. I would have never hurt like this, never ached for another, if I had never met him. I would have been content, not happy, but content, living with my parents, taking care of my mom. That was the plan, but that had been all blown to hell by Edward Cullen, and I was nothing but miserable because I constantly wished for him to return and love me again.

It wasn't long after their return that Esme told me she and Carlisle were looking into moving to New York to be closer to the kids. She came to see me about finding a new vet where they were moving and getting a supply of medicine for little Max. I was going to miss my boy. I had become way too attached to Max, and since our breakup, I had become an overly-emotional mess, even to the point where my stomach stayed upset half the time. Needless to say, I was not handling it well. Maybe somehow, some way, we could find a way to be friends, but even the thought of just being friends hurt.

Why the hell did I have to fall in love with him?