Chapter 34 - Going Mad

EDWARD

I was going nuts. I was in town and hadn't seen Bella yet. My fidgeting must have been obvious, because Esme just rolled her eyes. "Oh, for heaven sakes, just go," she said and waved me off. I took off out to my car like a bat out of hell. I wasn't fast enough, though, because Tanya just happened to jump into the passenger seat, as I was about to pull away from the curb. Just great.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"None of your business. Shouldn't you be helping them pack?"

"Shouldn't you?" she asked.

I wanted to strangle her for slowing me down, but I didn't want to take the time it would cost me to throw her out on the curb. "Just keep out of shit and keep your mouth shut. Better yet, wait in the car," I said, as I pulled up to the clinic. I was sure Bella was there. I couldn't imagine her changing her schedule.

I was right. I burst into the office, as she was writing something in a file. God, she was gorgeous. Time was only enhancing her beauty, and it made my body warm to see her. It was then that I noticed little Max sitting next to her on the desk. Esme had mentioned she was watching him while we packed, so he didn't get caught in something or hurt.

"Bella!" I said her name with relief. It felt like I hadn't been able to breathe for so long.

"Hey, Edward. Have you come to see your son? He's been missing his daddy," she said. Max jumped up to the divider between us, and I picked him up smoothly.

"I'm glad he has his mommy to look after him."

"You have a kid?" Tanya shouted from behind me.

I turned and looked at her shocked. "I told you to wait in the car!"

"You have a kid!" she said pointing accusingly at me.

I looked at Bella, wondering if she would fix this or not. She just crossed her arms over her chest. "You didn't tell your new girlfriend about Max?"

"Oh, my god! I'm telling Aunt Carmen! There's no way she'll let Jazzy marry into a messed-up family like yours!" she said and stormed out. I failed to see how any of this was relevant, but knowing Tanya, by the time she got done, it would be blown out of proportion into some outlandish lie about my family, and I couldn't let this effect Alice.

"I have to go talk to her."

Bella smirked. "You do that," she said and turned away coldly.

"I'm not done with you!" I shouted after her.

"Yes, you are, have fun with your new toy," she said shaking her head and walked out.

Fucking hell, could this get anymore messed up?

"My cat is named Max," I shouted after Tanya.

"You named a cat after your kid? That's messed up, Edward."

"I don't have a kid!" God, she was an idiot.

"Then why would she say that your son was missing you?"

"Oh, fuck it. Yes, I have kid named Max then, you happy? It has nothing to do with Alice, so leave her and Jazz alone! Just take my car and get the fuck out of here already!" I said tossing her my keys.

I heard a noise coming from down the alley and went to investigate. I didn't want Bella sneaking away before I could talk to her. It looked like she had just taken out some trash, as the back door was not all the way closed yet. I ran and grabbed it, before it could lock me out. I slipped in and looked around. There were several kennels, most were empty, but the few that weren't had little animals in them. I saw Bella at the far end.

"I don't know why I let him get to me, George. I mean we were just kids when we met. It never lasts. I guess I'm just hurt that he moved on so fast. I know I can't have him, but does he have to bring his latest whore here to my place of business?" She leaned her head on the cage, and I wasn't surprised when a tongue came through the bars and licked her face. "Thanks, George. You're a sweetheart. I wish I could take you home with me, too." She pushed a couple of fingers through the bars, scratching George's head.

I guess Max had had enough with me staring at his mommy, because he decided to give me a good clawing and jumped from my arms. I hissed in pain, but it was enough to get Bella's attention. Max sauntered around the place like he owned it, and Bella did nothing to stop him.

"What are you doing here?" she asked coldly.

"I wanted to talk to you."

"We have nothing to talk about. I'm sure your girlfriend is wondering where you are."

"She's not my girlfriend."

"Sorry, I didn't know you having a cat was a deal-breaker for her. I'll keep my mouth shut next time."

"Damn it, Bella," I said and grabbed her arm.

George jumped to the front of his cage when I touched her and growled viciously, baring his teeth at me.

"Let go, before I let him out."

I didn't move, and the dog barked and snapped.

"He's a pit bull, Edward, he'll take your arm off if you don't let go of mine," she said so coldly.

I dropped my hand. "Bella, please."

"What is it? I said we could still be friends." She gave me a fake smile. "See, this is me being your friend. Now go visit with your boy. I know Max has been missing you," she said and started walking out.

"What the hell?"

She turned around, looking at me furiously. "What do you want from me, Edward? Do you want me to be happy for you? Fine." She smiled widely. "I'm so happy you found a stupid blonde to fuck," she said and stormed out.

"I don't have a girlfriend, Bella! Tanya is just a family friend."

"Right, that's why she went ballistic thinking you had a kid."

"Why didn't you correct her?" I asked.

"Why didn't you?" she glared. "I heard you out front fighting with her. She thinks you have a kid named Max and a cat named after him as well. Real winner you picked there, Edward."

"I didn't pick her! Why won't you fucking listen to me?" I shouted at her, and the animals erupted in a chorus of protective anger. "She's nothing to me! Goddamn it, Bella, why can you see that I only want you?" I said grabbing her. She fought me at first, but she finally gave in to me when I kissed her, holding her tightly against me. She was mine, and I was claiming her. Thank god she was doing the same to me. There was nothing sweet and gentle about what we were doing; we were rough and angry and full of need. I knew I was gripping her too hard. I was sure I left bruises, but I needed to hold her tight. I needed to feel her in my hands, in my arms. I needed to be deep inside her now, and I didn't give a fuck who or what was watching me take her.

I lifted her up, setting her on the edge of the exam table. I pressed between her legs, grinding hard into her, and she pushed back, moaning into my mouth. I completely lost it. I stripped her down and was inside her before my next breath. My body let out a sigh of relief. I was home, finally. God, I had to find a way to get her to New York with me. I didn't know how much longer I could stand to be apart. I was slowly going mad being away from her.

She pulled my hair roughly and clawed my back. It all just spurred me to move faster. When she bit my neck, I lost it quickly, and she followed. I held her tightly against me, but then I noticed she was shaking slightly. I looked down to see she was crying.

"Bella, baby, did I hurt you? I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have been rough like that," I said kissing the top of her head, squeezing her in my arms. I didn't want to let her go.

She sniffled and shoved me back. I stood there shocked, as she picked up her clothes, dressing stiffly. "You should go; your family is probably missing you."

"Bella…"

She looked at me with cold eyes. "Go, Edward, you got your quick fuck."

"Stop it! You know that's not what this was. I want to be with you, Bella."

"We've already established that it's not possible," she snapped. "So why are you here?"

"Bella…"

"Why do you take such pleasure in hurting me, Edward?" she asked, and when the words left her mouth, she looked so broken. "You know I can't leave," she whispered and shook her head. "Please, just go."

I felt like an ass. I hadn't found a way to take her home with me, and she knew it. She was stuck here and me there. I wiped the tears from her cheek. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean…"

She cut me off, shaking her head. "It's okay, I miss you, too," she sniffled. "I think it'd be best if we just cut things off altogether, though."

"Bella…"

She covered my mouth, stopping me.

"We need to get on with our lives. I don't want to be holding you back. You should be free to chase all the girls in New York."

"I don't want to."

"You will." She let out a sigh. "Just do me a favor and take good care of my boy for me," she said looking over at Max.

"He'll always be our boy, Bella." And he would.

She smiled sadly at me. She leaned up and kissed my lips softly, and I couldn't help but deepen it. She finally pulled away. "Have a good life, Edward."

"I'll be back once I figure out a way for you to come live out there with me, Bella."

She sighed and shook her head sadly. "You know my life has to be here. Goodbye, Edward." She kissed and patted my cheek before seeing me out.

I was leaving Bella Swan again, and I hated myself for it.