Chapter 35 - Gone Wrong

BELLA

Since that day at the clinic, I had been a complete mess. I had been doing everything wrong and making stupid, simple mistakes. I missed Edward and hated myself for once again putting my reality foot down and letting him go. Damn it, why did I have to be so sensible?

My mother noticed my distracted behavior, and so I finally broke down and told her everything that had happened between us, and that I missed Edward, but that we couldn't be together. I think it bothered my mother that her illness was the thing holding me back. It was later that week that she told me she had registered me for classes at UW.

"You'll only be three hours away, Bella. You need to have a life, too. We'll be just fine without you, sweetheart," she promised, and I was optimistic. I should have known better.

Good things didn't happen to Bella Swan.

My mistakes had finally caught up to me. My mother was sick again. I was sure it was because I had forgotten to disinfect something. I was pissed that Edward had been gone for almost three months now, and I was still a mess. My distractedness had made me too sloppy.

"I'll be fine," my mother said patting my dad's cheek, as he carried her to the car. It wasn't the first time she had said those words, but it would be the last.

I made it down to the hospital and let them run the tests they always did to make sure I was able to donate. I went to my mom's room and sat with her while she slept, so my dad could go get something to eat. The doctor looked distraught when he found me. "Ms. Swan, a word?" My mother stirred, but I knew he was talking to me.

"Yes, are you ready for me to donate?" I asked wondering why a nurse hadn't come for me yet.

"That's the thing, Ms. Swan, you can't donate."

"What? What do you mean? I always donate," I snapped, panicked.

"You can't donate while you're pregnant."

"Pregnant?" I said shocked. He had to be wrong. "But I'm not."

"We have your results right here. You are indeed pregnant."

"That can't be right," I said confused.

"I'm sorry, but if you donate now, you could very well lose your baby."

There had to be some kind of mistake with their testing. Wouldn't I know if I were pregnant? I had to do this regardless, or my mother would die.

"It'll be fine. It's fine, just let me donate for my mother."

"No!" my mother said sternly. We both looked at her shocked, unaware she had been awake and listening.

"Mom, I have to. You need me to or…"

She put her hand against the plastic between us, so I would take hers. "Bella, you've been given a gift, and you need to protect this baby. If it's the last thing you do for me, so be it, but I will not be the one to kill my grandchild. I refuse to be the one to rob you of the joy of having a baby." She pressed her hand to my cheek, and I found comfort in the feel of the plastic between us. I knew it was clean, I knew she was safe in there.

"But, Mom..."

"No, Bella. You're having a baby, this is a great thing. I'm so happy for you."

I shook my head no. "I need to donate." I turned to the doctor. "Tell her, tell her it's okay that I donate."

"You can, but there's a higher risk that you'll miscarry. There are always risks with that, too, but you'll most likely be fine and able to conceive at another time."

"See, Mom, see, he said I could."

She shook her head. "When will you see Edward again, Bella? I know you pushed him away because of me. I've been holding you back from being truly happy, honey, and I refuse to do it anymore."

"Mom, no!" I cried.

"What's going on in here?" my dad asked confused as he walked in.

"We're going to be grandparents, Charlie," my mother spoke with excitement.

My dad looked at me shocked, his eyes traveling up and down my body, as if looking for some proof.

"No, no, I'm donating," I insisted.

"I refuse to take anything you give me, Bella. I can do that, can't I?" she asked the doctor, who was rubbing the back of his neck.

"She can," he said defeated.

"No, no, Daddy, tell her she has to take it. Tell her," I pleaded, and my father looked at my mother lost.

"She can't donate, Charlie. She might lose the baby. I'll not have it. She's going to have my grandbaby, and you're going to help her," she said pointing at him. He looked so lost, but he nodded okay.

The doctor went over the other treatment options; we knew what they were already. We also knew they weren't effective. My mother had already tried them all, before she allowed me to donate to her for the first time at the age of nine. I knew it upset my mother to take from me, but I loved that I was able to help her. I hated that she was taking that from me now.

Just like we expected, she got worse. She was deteriorating fast, and I was a mess. I would plead with her, but she insisted that having the baby would be the best thing that would ever happen to me. She told me how excited she had been when she found out she was pregnant with me. She spent the rest of my visits talking about how cute I was when I was a baby. She was sure my baby would be just as cute as me.

It was nearly a month later that she finally succumbed to the illness.

My dad was quite a mess. He seemed to be in a zombie state. I knew he loved my mother more than anything and didn't handle losing her well at all. I couldn't blame him. Neither did I. This was all my fault. It was my fault she was gone. My fault that I had made all the mistakes leading up to losing her. It got to where I couldn't bear to look at my father, and he seemed to feel the same about me. I had taken the love of his life away.

When the letters from UW came about my schedule, I took them and packed up. I would at least do what my mother had wanted me to do and go to college. I just didn't know how long I would be able to stay in the dorm since I was pregnant. I had to find a job and an apartment fast. I was soon off to Seattle, hoping to leave some of the pain behind.

I was nearly six months along, as I waddled across the campus. No one bothered me, and I was fine with that. My dorm mate was constantly absent as well, and I was fine with that, too. She had complained about me being pregnant once, and I promised that I would be getting out of her room before the baby came. At least that was the plan. As it turned out, being pregnant made it hard for me to get hired. I had been living off of school loans and grants, but the money was running out fast, and I was getting scared.

"Bella!" I heard my name, but I thought nothing of it. No one spoke to me here, and I was sure they were speaking to someone else. "Bella!" I heard again. "Fucking hell, duck girl!"

I spun around when I heard the last part and looked at the person calling my name. My eyes took in the tall, dark and handsome form of Demetri. His hard expression softened. "Demetri?"

"I knew it was you," he said with a smirk.

"What are you doing here?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that? Last I heard you were in Forks. I've always been in Seattle."

"Right, sorry," I said blushing.

"So, you look..." he looked me up and down, "Fat, but your tits are still bangin'."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm pregnant, D," I said flatly.

He looked around. "Well, where's the daddy?"

I shook my head. Truth was I didn't know how to get a hold of Edward anymore. Dumb ass me, I had cut him off, and then he moved to god only knew where. I had no way to get in touch with him.

"He's not in the picture."

"Oh, baby girl, I'm so sorry. Come here, let me buy you lunch."

"I'm fine."

"Let me feed you, it's the one good thing my momma taught me. Food fixes everything."

"Really?" I said sarcastically. "So a cheeseburger will fix my carburetor."

"No, but some beans might."

"What?" I chuckled.

"Beans, you know, gas, it's all good. Carburetors love that shit."

"Remind me never to let you work on my car."

I smiled up at him, happy to be with a friend. We talked about what we had both been up to. I mentioned I was looking for a very cheap apartment, and he said he had a room I could rent. Apparently, he'd had a roommate that couldn't handle him dating. Turned out that his old roommate was a girl who he had been screwing when he was too tired to go out, and she didn't take his dating others well.

"You know I'm not screwing you."

He wiggled his eyebrows at me. "What's the matter, ducky, you worried I'll get you pregnant?"

I threw a French fry at his head.

"Come on, girl, I won't fuck you if you don't want me to, but don't rule me out so quickly. I'm very good at what I do."

"Oh, I don't doubt it, D, I've seen you dance," I said with a flirting wink, and he put his arm around me.

"I have a feeling this is going to work out better than I thought. Hey, you wouldn't mind playing my pregnant wife on occasion would you?"

"What?"

He shrugged. "You know, to get rid of the clingy hoochies who just won't let me go. I have a feeling one look at you would get them off my back," he said rubbing my belly.

I rolled my eyes. "Fine, but let me know when you're going to pull that shit, because I want to at least look good for it."

"Yes!" he said fist pumping. "Come on, girl, let's get your shit together and get you home."

I was just finishing packing my stuff up, when my roommate came in. It was then I realized I had never bothered to learn her name. "This is Demetri, my new roommate," I said introducing him, as she eyed him a little too thoroughly. I would admit that Demetri was hot, but I knew him too well to go there.

"D, she knows I'm not your wife," I said, as he circled her like he was ready to pounce.

His eyes snapped to me. "Right, right," he said and grabbed my bags for me. "You shouldn't be carrying heavy shit. I heard that somewhere."

"Thanks, D," I said, as I followed him out to my car. He looked at the booger mobile.

"I think you need to replace more than the carburetor," he chuckled, as he put my few things in the backseat. "I'm parked on the other side of the school, mind giving me a ride?"

I gave him a lift and then followed him to my new apartment, or I guess townhouse. It was really nice. "D, I told you I can only afford to pay three hundred dollars a month."

"Sure, I know. But you'll be performing other services as well," he said with a wink.

"I hope you're talking about housecleaning and cooking."

"Bitch, you can cook?" he asked excitedly, and I laughed.

"Yeah, so what, I cook, and I can clean."

"And chase away hoochies, that's the deal," he said grinning.

"Right, fine, but I still feel like I'm shortchanging you."

"You master my momma's fried chicken recipe, and I'll be paying you to stay here," he said with a leveling look.

I nodded. "Okay," I said with a shrug, because in the end, I really didn't have anywhere else to go, and I was thankful that Demetri was taking me in.

This was going to be interesting…