CHAPTER EIGHT: FALLING

Rachel spent two days recovering in sickbay before Doc Rios released her. She was still weak and supposed to be on bedrest for another few days, but tried to get back to normal. Rios hadn't specified which of her beds she should be in, so she picked the cot in her lab in order to resume working. At least as much as Bertrise would allow.

"Can you please give me my laptop?" Rachel requested of the teen.

She was seated at the table, working, and shook her head. "You're supposed to be resting. You should be in bed."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "I've been in a bed. I'm about to go mad."

Bertrise bit her lip. "Dr. Rios said not to give in to you…"

Rachel raised an eyebrow. "You know, if you make me come over there and get it myself, I won't be resting."

After a moment of thought, Bertrise handed her the laptop. "If the doctor asks, you got it yourself."

Rachel chuckled. "I can live with that."

The hatch opened, and Ashley, Sam, and Ava burst in with Jed just behind them. "Dr. Rachel!" the children cried as they ran to get hugs. They hadn't been allowed to see her in sickbay, but had been begging to come visit now that she'd been released.

"I've missed you," Rachel told them as she tried to hug all three at once. "It's too quiet around here without you."

"We were afraid you were really sick," Ava said as they knelt around her cot.

"I'm feeling much better now," she promised.

"Aren't you supposed be in bed?" Jed asked the scientist with a knowing smile.

Rachel shushed him, ignoring the 'I told you so' look that Bertrise was giving her. "I'm fine."

"Does that hurt?" Ashley wondered, pointing to the gash on her forehead.

"Not anymore," Rachel replied. "Have any of you had stitches before?" Sam nodded with a grin. "So you know it's no big deal."

"Were you scared?" Ava wondered.

"A tiny bit," she truthfully admitted. "But I knew I was in good hands." Doc Rios had done a wonderful job, even if she was fighting against the limitations he'd set. Bertrise had been there with her all along, splitting time between playing nursemaid and keeping things going in the lab. Rachel had imagined the Captain would have visited her as well, but she hadn't seen him since the night she woke up in sickbay. It was disappointing, but she knew he was a very busy man.

"Can you come outside with us?" Sam asked.

"No, she's sick," Ashley snapped at her little brother.

"Be nice, luv," Rachel gently chastised her. "Although no, Sam, I can't go outside right now. But you should go on if you want to."

He thought about it for a moment, then started to get up. Jed went with him out to the flight deck. Ava looked longingly toward the door for a moment. It was a rare sunny day outside, and she so loved the sunshine.

"Go on, darling," Rachel told her. "I'm not going anywhere." The young blonde flashed a smile before getting up. "What about you?" she asked Ashley.

She shook her head, sitting on the edge of Rachel's cot. "I don't want to go… I made something for you."

"You did?" Ashley reached into her pocket and pulled out her bracelet. "Oh, this is beautiful, luv, thank you. You're so creative."

Ashley gave a little smile, but it didn't reach her eyes. "Thanks."

Rachel knew something was off. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing," she unconvincingly protested.

"Are you alright?" Ashley shrugged. "Did something happen with your father?" Maybe he wasn't just busy.

"No, he's okay," Ashley replied. "He's been grumpy."

Rachel frowned. "Grumpy?"

Ashley looked down. "Yeah, like before his leg started getting better. He hasn't laughed or played games with us in a few days."

Rachel had no idea what was going on, but was starting to get a bad feeling. She'd last seen Tom a few days ago. If he wasn't talking to her about whatever the issue was, then either he didn't really trust her like he claimed or she was the problem. She didn't remember doing or saying anything to him; what could have happened?

Rachel looked down as Ashley wrapped an arm around her waist. "Come on, now, luv. You seem all out of sorts."

Ashley just shrugged. "Are you sure you're okay now?" she quietly asked.

Rachel hugged her closer. She'd never had anyone worrying about her like the children did. She'd had people who cared about her, of course - family, friends, and lovers - but never anyone so fragile. She needed to do better in the future, for their sake if not for her own. "I'm sure. I'm sorry you were frightened, but I am better now, I promise."

"Okay."

"Do you know what would make me feel even better?" Rachel asked. Ashley shook her head. "Seeing you have some fun with Ava and your brother. I'll still be here when you're done." Ashley hesitated, but finally cracked a smile and went to join the other two children outside.

As the Chandler family had dinner that evening, Ashley and Sam chattered on about what they'd done outside and visiting with Rachel. "I haven't heard much about what you learned today in school," Tom pointed out.

Ashley frowned. "We did math." Her brother giggled at the look of disgust on her face.

"Math is important," Tom argued. "Your grandfather and Mrs. Tophet work hard making sure you learn the right things. Maybe you guys should be spending a little more time on school stuff and less time playing."

Two little jaws dropped. "But, Daddy…"

Jed was also staring at Tom like he'd grown a second head. "They're doing fine, son."

"Just keep in mind that Dr. Scott has a function on this ship besides being a babysitter, okay?"

"She likes being with us," Ashley protested. "Doesn't she?"

Tom sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose as he felt a headache coming on. "I'm sure she does. But she has work to do, just like I do."

The kids were noticeably subdued as they picked at the rest of their meals. Tom finally excused them to go play cards with Ava in the Tophets' stateroom. Once the children were gone, Jed fixed his son with a Look. "What was that?" he asked.

"Nothing. I'm just concerned they're spending a lot of time with her."

"Since when is that an issue?"

Tom stood up. "We're not having this conversation here." He'd been too ashamed and angry with himself to deal with his family for days. If he chose to start opening up - and that was a big if - he certainly wasn't going to do it in a public area with junior officers within earshot.

However, his father was not daunted. "Then pick a place," Jed demanded, "Because we ARE having this conversation."

So they headed for Tom's stateroom. "Start talking, son," Jed told him as soon as the hatch was shut. "You've been an absolute bear the past few days, for no good reason that I can tell. 'Dr. Scott,' as you're now calling her, has been great to your kids and we both know it. So why don't you tell me what's really going on?"

Tom turned away from him, noticeably aggravated. "They're too attached to her. She's playing with them all the time - "

"An hour or two, every couple of days," Jed cut in.

"And she's putting them to bed and telling them stories… She's not their mother."

Jed's eyebrows shot up. "Who ever said she was?"

Tom was unable to make himself look at his father. "I think… I think I have feelings for her."

Jed sat down at the desk. "And that's a bad thing?" was all he said.

Tom turned to him, eyes flashing. "Yeah, Pop, that's a bad thing! Jesus, my wife's been dead just over two months!"

Jed leaned back in his chair. "Do you think she'd want you to be miserable for the rest of your life? Or the kids?"

"Of course not!"

"Alright then… She's gone, son. As much as we wish it wasn't so… she's not coming back. You still have a life to live, and we're only human."

Tom shook his head. "I feel like I'm completely betraying her. How much could I have loved her if I have feelings for someone else already?"

"Caring for someone else doesn't mean you didn't love her or won't still be mourning her. You'll miss her for the rest of your life." Jed was speaking from experience after losing his own wife, and hoped that would help him get through to his son. "You're a smart man, Tommy. Always have been. Too much for your own good sometimes. As long as everyone's feelings are taken into account and you keep talking… you'll figure it out."

Tom sighed, sitting down on his bed with his head in his hands. "I think I've been screwing up on both of those recently…"

Jed smiled as he got up and headed for the door. "Like I said, you're a smart man."

Tom didn't get much sleep that night, tossing and turning as he tried to figure out what to do next. He needed to talk to Rachel, that much was clear, but what would he tell her? The truth could make things better, but could also make them worse. Could he handle a rejection? Could he handle a relationship? What would either do to his children?

Finally, he gave up on the idea of sleeping. After getting a shower and dressing in his uniform, he made his way down to the bio lab. Despite the fact that the sun was barely peeking over the horizon, Rachel was already at work on her computer. She glanced up at the sound of the hatch opening, but then went back to her work.

"Captain," she coolly acknowledged his presence.

"Morning,"' he replied. "How are you doing?"

"Fine."

"Doesn't the doc still have you on bedrest?"

Her eyes remained focused on her computer screen. "Is there something I can help you with?"

Tom was pretty sure the temperature in the room dropped a few degrees; it was crystal clear to him that Rachel had her walls up. He knew that was because he'd hurt her, which was the last thing he'd wanted to do. "Yeah, actually… I owe you an apology." That got her attention. "And an explanation. I'm sorry I haven't seen you in a few days; I was trying to get my head around some things."

"What did I do?" Rachel asked. The genuine worry in her voice made him feel worse.

"Nothing! It wasn't you, I just…" He took a deep breath. "Just let me get this out, alright? And then you can say something." She turned around on her stool to face him, concerned. "I wasn't trying to shut you out, I just wasn't sure what to say to you - or if I should say anything to you. I've been going over this again and again in my head, wondering when and why… and I wasn't coming up with any answers." Tom could see the look of confusion on Rachel's face, but to her credit, she obediently didn't say a word.

"I'm not making a ton of sense, am I?" He took a deep breath, trying to slow down and collect his thoughts. "I think… No, I don't just think it," he stopped himself. This was where he needed to go all in and let the pieces fall where they may. "I've got feelings for you."

Rachel's eyes widened; she wasn't sure what she'd been expecting him to say, but that wasn't it. She opened her mouth to respond, but Tom didn't give her a chance, barreling ahead.

"I don't know when it started, and I know I shouldn't, but I do. The more I think about it…" He shook his head, dismissing that thought. "I understand if you can't say the same; I know this is out of left field and completely inappropriate. I just… please, either way, I hope you'll keep spending time with my kids. I don't want them to lose anyone else that they're close to. They've been through enough already."

"Tom - " she tried to speak up as she stood, but he kept going.

"I didn't intend for this to happen, I hope you know that. And I - "

He didn't get any further than that before Rachel very effectively silenced him with a kiss. It started off slow and hesitant, restrained by uncertainty about the line they were crossing, but quickly deepened.

Her fingers threaded into his greying hair, and his arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her close against him. It wasn't their first kiss, but Rachel's ruse on the Vyerni had been tinged with fear and desperation, plus they'd been trying not to cut themselves on a blade. It didn't really count, although the moment had lit a spark. Rachel had told herself to ignore it because she knew THIS could never happen. Except now it actually was happening.

Finally, when they couldn't ignore their lungs' demands for oxygen any longer, they broke apart. "I think I have feelings for you, too," Rachel whispered with a smile as they rested their foreheads together.

Tom let out a shaky sigh; that scared him almost as much as the idea of her saying the opposite. "Are you sure?" he softly wondered.

She gave him a gentle kiss. "Yes, I am. Although I'm not entirely sure this isn't a dream."

"If you're dreaming, don't wake up." They both smiled.

"Never… However, even in a dream, I'm quite certain it would be an understatement to call this 'complicated'."

He nodded. "Mmm… I have no idea what comes next."

"We make it up as we go, I guess?"

The hatch's hinges squeaked as it opened, and the two of them quickly moved away from each other, trying to appear nonchalant. Bertrise offered a smile as she came inside with two cups of tea. "Good morning, Captain."

"Morning," he replied in what he hoped sounded like a normal tone. "I'm glad to see you're feeling better," he told Rachel, trying to create a cover for why he was in the lab.

She nodded, understanding. "Thank you, Captain. I'm very happy you decided to stop by." They shared a secret smile.

"Well, I'll leave you two to your work," he announced, offering Bertrise a small wave.

"We can talk later?" Rachel softly asked Tom before he stepped away.

He nodded. "Of course."

TBC...

A/N: First, is anyone else getting excited about the commercials TNT keeps showing? Season 2 can't come soon enough!

Second, big thanks to those who left feedback on the last chapter. To the guest who said they hadn't been into Rachel/Tom as a couple until reading this... you made my day. :-) That was exactly how I felt before reading MorningGlory2's 'Red Flag.' The community of writers and readers for this show is awesome!