.xxvii.
The stars shine overhead brightly. Carver gazes up into the sky, glad to sleep underneath it for a change as opposed to some dank, dark passage of the Deep Roads, or some Keep or the other. He enjoys it while he can, thoughts on the last few weeks and all that has brought him to this point. He is worried for his sister, but his thoughts linger on Merrill. If at all possible, she's become even prettier then when he had seen her last, traipsing through the Deep Roads wit her, his sister, and Fenris after some crazed mega dark spawn. Being a Warden has been a challenge, to say the least. He had always wanted to go out and make a new path for himself, but he had never expected to find it among tainted brothers and sisters in the Blight. It wasn't his choice, not really, but he didn't regret it one bit.
Except for the times when homesickness and sweet Dalish girls did make him regret it, a little.
A shadow passes over his reclined body. He tears himself from his reverie and and he tilts his head to identify the source.
"Fenris."
"Carver."
The elf sits cross legged next to him, leaning back against a crate. They sit in silence, both staring into the murky dark sky, lost in thought. He studies his stargazing companion out of the corner of his eye, wondering what it is that his sister is so taken by in this person. He's acerbic and sardonic, with a face that belies his sour attitude and a heap of problems. It doesn't make sense. By all accounts, he would expect her to be more taken with the ex-prince of Starkhaven, or even man-baby mage, but this one? An fugitive elven slave? It's like she was going for the most difficult romance she could.
"Is there a reason why you're staring at me?" Fenris asks, not taking his eyes off the sky. He has the sudden reckless urge to ask a question he probably shouldn't.
"When did you fall in love with my sister?"
The question catches him so off guard that his head snaps to the side and his eyebrows rise so high they nearly launch off his forehead. "What did you say?"
"I know you are, so don't deny it. What I want to know is when it happened, and why you haven't just admitted it to her yet."
His mouth works, but the words are slow to follow. It's actually kind of entertaining to see the usually stoic elf bumble.
"That's not- that has nothing to do with you! In the event that you are right. Which you are not."
"Sure," he smirks. This incenses the already irate elf even more.
"I do care for your sister," he admits, though he sounds pained to do so. "But what we had is over. She has moved on, and I as well. What I feel for her-felt for her, that's not important anymore."
"You are so full of nug shit," Carver sighs, throwing an arm over his face to hide his grin. He can feel the rage radiating from the form next to him. "Neither of you have moved anywhere! You're still lurking around like a bad copper, and she's blinded to everyone who isn't you. You honestly think because you told her to get lost that she'd just go find someone else?"
"I did not. What I did was for us both. It is better this way. I..." he grits his teeth. "She should have someone who suits her."
"You're a blighted idiot! The only person she's ever cared for like this is you!" His feigned ire is starting to become real at the elf's false humility or whatever it is he's using to justify his moronic reasoning. "You think you're doing her a favor by keeping your distance and telling her to find someone better? Because you're not. Look at what's happened! It's so obvious to everyone else how much she cares for you that she was kidnapped by your pursuers!"
"That is exactly why I cannot be with her!" His roared words attract the attention of the few crewmen still awake. He restrains himself with visible effort. "I make her vulnerable."
Carver doesn't even bother. "No, that's exactly why you should! You're not a coward, so don't act like one! She'd be vulnerable with or without you! People you care about don't make you weak. They give you strength. So stop making up excuses."
To his surprise, Fenris turns away, offering no opposing words, just silence. His impromptu talking to must have had some effect. What luck.
"She was the first to aid me without question," he speaks quietly. "I asked for her help and she gave it without a second thought. And then she gave her friendship. She has given me much, more than I could ever repay." Fenris flexes his fingers, lines of lyrium catching the moonlight. "In return I have brought her nothing but hardship and heartache. It is better that I remain as I am, as a friend, to aid her when she needs me."
"Ugh!" he huffs, sitting up and throwing his arms out in irritation. "No it's not, you idiot. Don't you get it! I know my sister, and I know she'd rather have you and all the trouble that you bring than your services as guard dog. Admit it- you're afraid."
"I am not afraid!" he shoots back, in the exact tone of someone who is afraid. He seems to realizes this and snaps his mouth shut, grimacing.
"You are," he states again, earning himself a withering look.
"As much as I appreciate you calling me a craven fool, I will take my leave now." Fenris moves to leave.
"Look, just," Carver tries a different approach, sensing the need to renew his efforts, "just talk to her. Even if I'm wrong about this, it's better to resolve it then leave it like an open wound. My Sister has never gotten over it. When she writes me, she talks about you more than I think she's aware of." No teasing, just truth. The elf seems to take notice of his earnest words. "You say you've moved on: that's your business. But she hasn't. If you truly want to move on, you have to lay it to rest." Wise words from his mentor, Stroud, regurgitated at the appropriate time. They had helped him when he had first become a Warden. Perhaps they could help Fenris now.
He screws his face up, apparently mulling over what advice he has been offered. "You may be right."
"Finally, someone says it."
Fenris snorts. "Don't get used to it. It is a rare occurrence."
"Ha, ha, very funny."
Silence descends again and they focus intently on the dark, puffy clouds roiling in the sky, shrouding the moon. It reminds him of Lothering. The clouds looked the same when it was about to rain. Bethany used to love when it rained. A pang of sorrowful nostalgia resonates in his chest at the thought.
"I will consider what you've said. Assuming we find her unharmed, I will 'put it to rest'."
"You're a right ray of sunshine," Carver scowls. "But I'm glad to hear it. Now..." he stands and stretches, yawn escaping. "I'm going to bed."
"Try not to throw up in the bunk again," Fenris advises, smug smile in his voice. He stays where he is, sitting cross legged on the deck, looking out over the rolling waves.
"That was one time," Carver grumbles in response, making his way below decks. "Goodnight."
"Goodnight."
He collapses into his bunk feeling rather satisfied with himself. His sister owes him one. Though really, he just hopes she's still alive to pay her debts.
Author's Note: Aw, brother bonding time. I had intended for something like this to happen earlier on, but it just sort of ended up happening on the ship, under the stars, with these two idiots yelling at each other. Such dorks, why do I love them so much!?
IDRK-It'sme: A new face! Or name, rather. I'm glad you hate him! Truth be told, I did not expect him to end up as malignant as I wrote him. He's just an insane creep. There isn't anything you can do to sugar coat that. I promise, he will get exactly what he deserves. Or at least, I hope it's more satisfying than what the game gave us.
MC: I missed you! AH! I was about to send out the search parties, honestly. I hope you're feeling better, and that it wasn't anything serious!
You are right about Hawke, though. I've written her as a little to accepting of the situation. In hindsight, she would be a little more rebellious, I think. It's something I'm hoping to fix retroactively, but I also wanted to convey the fact that she really in under Danarius' thumb, with any attempts at a escape being unrealistic, or so suicidal that they would end up being last ditch efforts. Hopefully the upcoming chapters will clear that up a bit. But I do want to go back and make some changes.
As to the dream, and his creeping on Hawke, oh yeah, it's definitely a power thing. I think, regardless of race or gender, that Danarius would be the most attracted to people of strong will, viewing them as the ultimate conquest, something else I will elaborate upon in a little bit. And the party! Brilliant! I had originally intended for her to drag her around in some lavish gown or something, but I think that would be treating her too much like a human being, when the whole purpose of the thing is to show her off as his possession. About her being an arcane warrior: in my continuity, I'd like to think that Warden Amell learned the specialization, wrote it down, and maybe passed it on to Anders who then passed it on to her or something of the sort. I spend too much time thinking about these people, really. Your criticism is gold, I've missed it so much! Thank you!
Next up: We learn that all is not as Hawke thought it was. Which is really not good. Sit tight, guys!