Alright! So glad I got a response to my update! Let's see what I can crank out tonight on this stormy evening.

Sasuke blinked at the girl sitting on the bed across from him with tight lips and wide eyes. After the shocking confession the Uchiha's knee jerk reaction was to literally jerk his knee, as if to test the declaration. Turns out the chick...err dude wasn't lying, he instantly coiled in on himself and rolled around hold his groin. After that Sasuke had stood up and dusted himself off, keeping his face totally blank to hide the inner insanity at his discovery. Slowly his mind attempted to piece together this whacked out puzzle. This lady, massive superstar, was a guy only pretending to be a girl. Excellent actress Sasuke thought to himself. Why the hell would any self respecting man wear a dress and grow tits? How did he do that anyway?

"What the hell is all this about?"

Naruto's eye darted in every direction, there had to be some way to fix this. "I don't know what you're talking about. Ask any girl, getting kneed in the twat hurts just as bad as a kick to the balls."

Sasuke's eyebrow twitched, "Bullshit, you said you're a guy." the raven advanced on his hostage again, "Stop fucking around! Did Itachi put you up to this!"

Naruto shot to his feet, "He's in on it too?!" his arms started flailing, "All you bastard's are the same aren't you! I can't fucking trust anybody!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes at the blond's antics, "Shut the hell up and answer me!"

Naruto grunted and put his hands on his naturally curvy hips, "Well I can't do both asshole"

"My patience is wearing thin, bitch, answer me or I'll take you on like a man and you'll get worse than a hit to the dick." Suddenly Sasuke was in the girl/ guy's face, breathing her/ his air. "Understand?"

"Listen dick-wad first of all I would kick your ass if it wasn't for these tits, and two I just found out Itachi had a part in this and after I kill you I'm going to move onto that prick next." Naruto tried not to let his eyes close, Sasuke smelt so good. But he had to keep his head straight, right now there was work to be done and that meant taking back what he had said in the heat of the moment.

"So take those ridiculous things off, they look flat and hideous anyways," Sasuke made to grab one of the shrinking breasts but the blond was quicker than she looked.

"How dare you!" Naruto feigned embarrassment and anger, honestly if he could remove the disgusting flabs he would, "Garra took away my under garment that's why I look this way. If you would be so kind as to return my bra my beautiful chest would return to its former glory." That ought to do it.

"Why does a boy have tits, are you a half and half? Let's find out." Sasuke forced Nao's hand down and succeeded this time in grabbing a hold of the sizable boob.

Naruto squeaked and blushed instantly, "Stop it!" he tried to back away but Sasuke's hand moved to wrap around his waist and hold him in place. He froze when there was a hand gripping his crotch, images of Kyuubi touching him against his will flashed through his mind and his eyes went wide before remembering where he was and then he started trashing.

"You are! You're a hermaphrodite! Holy fuck" Sasuke smirked and released the frantic star. "Well that's interesting."

Naruto crumpled to the ground holding himself as tightly as possible. Above him Sasuke started to walk towards the stairs. It was too late to make the Uchiha believe he was a woman, but he sure as hell wasn't going to let the ass think he was a little bit of both. "I'm a man! Believe it!"

Sasuke scoffed, "You can try to convince me all you want, but your tits flopping around says otherwise."

Naruto stood up and marched forward, undoing the drawstring of his sweat pants as he went. "For your information dildo brain! I've been taking hormones for almost three years to make my tits grow so that I could get work!" Here he pushed his pants down revealing his flaccid member, "It wasn't by choice, I was all but forced into doing it when my dad..." Naruto stopped just short of pulling his shirt over his head. 'Dad'

Sasuke cocked his head to the side, not really curious about where that line was going, staring at the dick hanging down where any other guy's was. Ignoring the zoned out expression on the tan face he stood in front of the 'boy' and gave the limp organ a flick. Naruto jumped and stumbled back to cup his cock and balls with an indignant screech.

"See ya later prince."

Naruto watched the brunette climb the stairs and blushed when the bastard sent one last wink in his direction. He grumbled and picked up his pants, tugging them up his legs slowly, and ungracefully. "Stupid dick for brains, ruin my big reveal and call me a half and half." throwing himself dawn on the cot a groan slipped from between his pink lips, "Stupid teme, stupid boobs."

Sasuke closed the door and locked it behind him. His smirk melted and his brow furrowed instead. Dam Itachi throwing such a wrench into his plan, all he wanted to do was stay out of school chill out with his friends make a little pocket money and add the princess to his list of lays. He rubbed his perfectly angled chin in thought, maybe his captive swung both ways. That was a mental track he'd have to go down later, right now he needed to wait for Gaara to get back so he could give the red head a piece of his mind. Obviously 'Rusty' knew the situation as it actually was and had with held information from the group, did Neji know?

Sasuke made himself comfortable at the desk in his room, switching the shiny new laptop on. He messed around on the computer for several hours, bee bopping about on the internet, and playing some World of Warcraft. Finally the front door opened and he could hear bangs being dropped on the kitchen floor, and curses as something heavy hit a wall. Gracefully Sasuke rose and went out to see what his friends had bought. He was greeted with a disgruntled Gaara tossing a rolled up rug across the living room. An elegant eye brow rose as his other friends huffed and puffed, carrying heavily laden bags and Lee and Kiba were carrying in a portion of a sectional couch.

"You have no idea how annoying it is to shop with these idiots" the red head threw his hands up in the air, "They have no taste at all!"

"Hey!" Kiba's indignant holler surprised Lee to the point where the couch slipped from his fingers and his end crashed to the ground, followed by Kiba's side which unfortunately crushed the dog boy's toes. "AHHHH!"

Lee screeched and moved to help his friend free his foot, only succeeding in making Kiba scream louder and topple over backwards with his toes still jammed underneath the unnecessarily heavy furniture. Neji actually sprung into action and hoisted the sofa up Kiba scrambled away to curl up in the fetal position holding onto his foot like it was going to fall off.

Gaara rolled his eyes and huffed, "You see?"

Sasuke looked completely uninterested in everything else, his eyes trained only on the red head, "We need to talk."

"Ugh, anything to escape these fools." he followed his friend into the raven's bedroom/ office.

"Sit down," Sasuke sat behind his desk and leveled his buddy with a glare watching Gaara make himself comfortable in the chair opposite him. "Is there anything you want to tell me?"

"I love you?" Gaara quirked an eyebrow.

Sasuke couldn't help the smirk that flitted across his lips. "That's sweet. But no."

Gaara blinked, "Why don't you tell me what you want me to tell you so I can make you happy."

"It's about our captive?"

"Tsk tsk Sasuke, did you go and talk to our princess while I was gone?"

"Hn."

Gaara stood up, "Then you don't need to ask me ridiculous questions that you already know the answers to." the ginger crossed his arms over his chest.

Sasuke wanted to growl, but locked it down. "You knew but you didn't tell me. That doesn't sit well with me. Did Neji know?"

An undefinable light flashed in the sea foam green eyes before Gaara closed them and took a deep breath. "Sweetheart, I know for the most part you fund our little escapades and projects but I am not your employee," the teen leaned over and ran a finger down the Uchiha's strong jaw, "don't forget that babe."

Sasuke welcomed the smirk that flitted across his lips, he almost forgot the dangerous monster that lurked just under the surface of his friend's well groomed exterior. He had met that crazy fiend on a couple occasions and as exciting as that had been Sasuke didn't have time to deal with an insane Gaara and a transvestite. The door opening and closing brought his obsidian eyes away from the red head and trained on the new comer.

"Nao is throwing shit down stairs." Kiba ducked back out of the room.

Gaara was ahead of him on their way to the basement door. Sasuke didn't have a chance to follow him down the stairs as the door slammed in his face. He grumbled to himself and turned to sit with his surprised group of friends. "hn, women."

Naruto couldn't help the temper tantrum that was raging through his system. Everything looked like a bastard that he just wanted to toss across the room and bust into a million pieces. So far he'd smashed a chair and used that as a club to bash in the side of the washer. He'd also torn down the curtains that divided his portion of the basement from the rest, ripping the curtains to smithereens in the process. He was in the middle of beating the tar out of his pillows when footsteps on the stairs distracted him.

Gaara almost laughed at the innocent expression on the boy's face, he looked genuinely confused as to why there was anyone down stairs. "Having a good time princess?"

"Don't call me that!" Naruto pointed the chair leg at the intruder. "My name is Naruto Uzumaki! I'm the sexiest MAN alive, believe it!"

"Easy dude," Gaara easily snatched the would be weapon from the blond and tossed it into a corner. "What's going on? Is it that time of the month?"

Naruto crumpled to the ground, his body suddenly too heavy to keep up. "I showed Sasuke my dick."

Gaara took a moment to hold back the laughter bubbling up inside of him. He cleared his throat, "Ok, don't worry about it. Guys are flashing their dicks to him all the time."

"Some how that doesn't make me feel any better." and it didn't. Naruto fiddled with the hem of his shirt and sniffled. "I was thinking about my dad too."

The red head cocked his head to the side, "Is that a big deal?"

Naruto shrugged, "I haven't seen him since this whole thing started," the blond wanted to stop talking but the words kept tumbling from his quivering lips, "He got really sick and fell into a coma, when I couldn't afford the hospital bills anymore... Kyuubi showed up and hatched this brilliant plan."

Gaara was confused, what was with the back story? It wasn't his intention to become friends with the super star, she'd serve her time here and then be given back to her care takers. They would probably never hang out again, Gaara had plans to move far away with Neji after high school so maybe they would stumble into each other but that seemed unlikely. He did wonder what would happen to the kid's career since the tits were deflating and obviously he wouldn't be available to film the rest of his scenes for that upcoming movie. The boy's copper tresses trembled as he shook his head, there was no room for those thoughts.

"Listen hun," Gaara crouched next to the other pulling a tissue from no where and offering it up, "just calm down, I'm sure Sasuke was very impressed by your dick, as for your dad if he is local why not go visit him? You have time off now in case you hadn't noticed." Gaara smiled reassuringly, ignoring the snot trailing down the adorable face. "On the bright side, you can come out of the dungeon now since you blew your cover."

That didn't have the desired effect as Naruto's eyes filled with tears and he began to sniffle anew. "I don't want to be seen like thii~s!" Naruto singalled to his deflated breasts and sobbed pathetically.

"Please tell me this is a side effect to the pills and you're not usually this bitchy." Gaara was about to chuckle but yelped in pain instead when a fist dropped down on the top of his head. "Ow!"

Yep it's late but it's out and that's all that matters. R&R