CHAPTER THIRTEEN: BACK TO THE BEGINNING

Once the ship's new destination was announced, the whole crew was buzzing. It had taken a few more months than they'd expected, but they were finally heading home. The ship would get some much-needed repairs and drop off several teams before heading back out to sea to wait out their on-shore search operations.

"When do we get home?" Sam asked his father two nights later as he and Ashley climbed into their beds.

"Tomorrow," Tom replied. "But… you know we're not really going home, right?"

Ashley frowned as she sat on her bed. "What do you mean?"

"The ship is going to Norfolk, but we - you guys and me and Grandpop - we're not going to leave it. We're staying here."

Sam cocked his head in confusion. "Other people are leaving," he pointed out.

"I know. They're going to look for their families. But we already have our family."

Ashley sighed. "That's not fair. I want to go back to our house."

"We don't know if it's safe there," Tom countered. "And my responsibilities are still on this ship. This is the safest place for us to be."

"But other people get to go!" she persisted.

"They're coming back, Ash," he replied, tamping down his frustration. Everyone's coming back to the ship. This is our home, now."

"Are they bringing their families, too?" Sam wondered.

"I don't know. Some of them might, if they have kids with no one else to take care of them." That was the guideline the crew had been given; resources were already stretched too thin for the ship to become a refugee camp.

"We have Grandpop to take care of us," Ashley pointed out. "We could go home."

"I don't want to leave Dad," Sam quickly argued, leaning over the edge of his top bunk to look down at his sister.

Tom gave him a smile. "Thank you, buddy. I don't want you guys going anywhere, either."

Ashley sighed, laying down on her bed. "Me, either," she softly agreed. "But I wish we could go home."

Tom kissed her forehead. "I know, sweetheart. I'm sorry."

After the kids were tucked in, Tom went down to the bio lab for a late-night visit with Rachel. She was working harder than ever, trying to produce as much of the vaccine as possible for the crew to take with them.

"How's it going?" he asked as he leaned against the table beside her.

"Well. I'm making good progress."

"Have you gotten any rest recently? Or food?"

"Bertrise brought me dinner. And I'm sure I'll get a couple naps at some point."

"Make sure you take care of yourself, okay? I will not be amused if you end up in sickbay again."

She smiled, warmed by his concern. "I have you to help take care of me now, yes?"

"Definitely."

"How are the children?"

"Okay… A little upset tonight."

Rachel frowned. "Why?"

"We had a talk about Norfolk. They were thinking we were actually going home."

She sighed. "I see. Poor things."

"Ashley pointed out that they could go back to life ashore - my father could take care of them."

Rachel looked up, stunned. "Would you actually do that?"

"I said no, but… what kind of life is this for them? They don't have other children around besides Ava - "

"That could change."

"They stay cooped up all the time… So many things on the ship can be dangerous to them, and my son has the broken bones to prove it."

"It's not as though they wouldn't face dangers on land as well," Rachel countered. "I know I don't have a vote, but… I don't think you should do it. You'd worry about them constantly."

"I already worry about them."

"You'd miss them," she amended her argument. "I-I'd miss them."

He smiled slightly. "Yeah. I just am trying to figure out what's best for them."

"You are what's best for them," Rachel confidently replied.

"I hope so… And I do value your opinion. I know you also want the best for my kids."

Rachel smiled; Ashley and Sam did have a special place in her heart. "Thank you." She then sighed as she looked back at her laptop.

"What's wrong?"

"The program froze; I'm going to have to start this analysis over."

Tom felt bad; hopefully it wasn't his fault for distracting her. "You want me to get out of your hair?"

Rachel shook her head. "No, no, just give me a minute." As she force-quit the application, the photo on her desktop came into view - showing her in the arms of a tall, brown-haired man.

"Who is that?" Tom suspiciously wondered. They were obviously very familiar with each other; she was smiling up at him adoringly.

Rachel sighed. It had been a while since she hadn't had her laptop constantly crunching through data; she'd forgotten what picture she had displayed in the background. "That is William," she softly explained. "He was my fiancé."

Tom did a double take, stunned. "Your what?!"

Rachel began to restart her program, attempting to cover the photo. "I'm sorry; I forgot that picture was there."

He pulled her hand away from the touchpad, stopping her. "Are you serious?"

She nodded, but wouldn't look at him. "We'd been together three years; he was also a doctor."

Tom ran a hand through his hair. He'd thought he was starting to know the woman in front of him pretty well, but now felt completely blindsided. How could he not know something this important? "Damnit, Rachel… were you ever going to say anything?"

She glanced up, one eyebrow raised. Tom had never worried about her past before and didn't discuss much of his own, unless it related to his children. They each knew the other had, of course, had full and interesting lives before the previous summer, but they'd never been concerned by them. Until now. "When do you think was the perfect time to bring the subject up?"

"Maybe sometime when I was going on about my wife?!" he snapped.

"I didn't think it was the same. We - we'd called off the wedding." Tom blinked, surprised. "I wasn't aiming to start a competition of who was hurting more. Billions of people died; everyone on this ship had lost someone. Why was I special?"

"You're special to me," he replied. "You should have told me from the beginning."

"Really?" Rachel sharply questioned. "We were strangers then. In fact, you barely tolerated my presence aboard your ship."

"Hey, you didn't exactly make it easy!" he countered. It was ironic that the woman who had utterly infuriated him half a year earlier was now one of the most important people in his life. "Every time we saw each other, either we'd barely say five words or we'd get in a fight."

"That's because every time I spoke to anyone here, I was lying to them, and I hated it!" Rachel shot back. Apparently they could still rile each other up in just seconds. "Do you think it was easy to keep my secret? I couldn't get close to anyone. I had to turn off everything that I was feeling or I wouldn't have been able to do the job I was sent to do. Do you really think I enjoyed doing that?!"

Tom rested his hands on Rachel's shoulders, trying to calm her down. "No, I don't, babe. I'm sorry."

"I wasn't given a choice!" she continued.

Tom pulled her into his arms; he hadn't been trying to piss her off. "I know. You did what you had to. But we're on the same team now, so I hope you know that you don't have to hide things from me ever again. I'm here whenever you need me, okay?"

Rachel slowly nodded against his chest. "I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to hide it, I just… It was in the past."

"Well, I'm still sorry you had to deal with it alone."

"I guess that's normal for me… Even with William. We were apart often for work. Quite a pair, really."

"What happened?" Tom wondered. "If you want to talk about it," he belatedly added.

There was a long pause before she spoke again. "The usual, I suppose." Her fingers tightened around his bicep as she drew strength from Tom's solid presence. Rachel had never really gotten the chance to talk about this with anyone. "There were a lot of little things that kept adding up... We were better friends than lovers." They'd both seen the inevitable coming. "When he moved out, I thought he was going to a flat downtown. But instead, he decided to do relief work in China to 'get away for a bit.' He didn't - wouldn't - believe how bad the virus had become." Southeast Asia had been one of the hottest hotspots for the Red Flu. Initially, aid workers from around the globe had flocked there and the Middle East, trying to help the sick. Most experts had originally believed the outbreak was controllable - another Ebola, not a potential extinction event. She'd been among the few that had realized the truth.

"I tried to send him a message before we left for the Arctic, a last warning to go north." Rachel had been disappointed when William hadn't answered her Skype call; hearing his voice might have eased her fear that she'd let him go get himself killed. "But, I never heard from him again." They'd all seen video of the atrocities the Chinese government had committed against its own people in a futile attempt to stop the deadly virus.

"It wasn't your fault," Tom tried to tell her.

"Maybe. I'd like to believe that. I wonder sometimes, though, if I could have tried harder, done something else."

"He was a grown adult. If he chose to ignore your warnings, that's on him."

Rachel smiled slightly. "I suppose I developed a bit of a sore spot for anyone who wouldn't listen to me."

"I hadn't noticed," Tom deadpanned before pressing his lips to her forehead. Knowing more about her past explained a lot about the first few months of this mission. "However, I'm trainable - I've learned to defer to my expert."

She cracked a tiny smile. "Mmm."

Tom pulled back in order to look her in the eyes. "So… is there anything else that I should know about?"

Rachel shook her head. "I don't think so."

"Are you going to be okay?" It felt good to be able to support her after everything she'd done for him. They needed that balance.

"Yeah…" She realized that didn't exactly sound convincing and looked up, forcing a smile. "I'll be fine, but I guess I should get back to work. And you should get some sleep."

"Probably…" Tom gave her a proper kiss. "I'm always here for you," he whispered as they broke apart.

Rachel nodded. "I know."

"Have a good night."

"Goodnight. Sleep well."

Once she was alone, Rachel turned back to her laptop, considering the picture on the screen. It meant a great deal to her that Tom hadn't told or even asked her to change the background. She wasn't sure what her reaction to that would have been, but not asking said a lot about the kind of man he was. She'd never demand that he leave his past behind before he was ready, and it was nice to know she could expect the same.

However… she did feel ready. Her existence from before the Red Flu seemed like forever ago. Another lifetime. She had changed since then. What she wanted - no, needed - had changed, too.

"Thanks, bub," she whispered with an upward glance. William's doubts had inspired her to work harder, to prove herself right. Without that, she might not have ended up on the Nathan James or found the cure. She wouldn't have Tom or his family in her life. She likely wouldn't even be alive.

The simple blue desktop that she selected wasn't very exciting, but she considered it to be a blank slate. Everybody needs one every now and then.

The following afternoon, the ship approached the coast of southern Virginia. Like a few months prior, there was no sign of radio chatter from the base. The mood aboard the Nathan James was solemn; normally reaching the Hampton Roads area was a cause for celebration, but this time there weren't likely to be many joyful reunions awaiting the crew.

They sent their two RHIBs as scouts to determine the status of Naval Station Norfolk and where to bring the ship in. Various teams were standing by on the ship, ready to start looking for spares, supplies, and fuel as soon as they got the go ahead to dock. No one would be clear to start their personal missions until they all made sure the ship was taken care of.

The CIC was full of personnel when Tom and Mike arrived. "Where are they?" the Captain asked the crewmen at the consoles.

"Approaching land, sir," one answered. He switched the audio over to come through the speakers so the commanding officers could hear.

"…past Pier 14," one member of the tac team reported in over the radio. "There's bodies in the water… It looks like the Mason hit the Bush."

Everyone looked around in shock, imagining the effect of a destroyer hitting an aircraft carrier, even at low speeds. Actually seeing the world's greatest navy reduced to rubble was going to be an incredibly hard pill to swallow. "Are any of the piers clear?" Tom asked after grabbing a mic.

"Ten appears clear, although…" the transmission cut out.

"Cobra One, repeat your last," the crewman at the console requested.

"That's a negative, Nathan James, Pier 10 is not clear… the Wasp has capsized."

"My God," Mike muttered under his breath. The destruction seemed like something out of a summer blockbuster. "What the hell happened here?"

TBC...

A/N: The idea for Rachel's fiance came from one of the 'prequel' videos TNT did (if you haven't seen them, check their youtube page) and one of the early episodes. The picture on her laptop is of her and a mystery guy. This was my idea of who he was and tying things together.