CHAPTER FIFTEEN: THE LITTLE THINGS

As expected, everyone was extremely busy once they left Norfolk. Tom didn't get away from the bridge for anything other than dinner for four straight days. When he found a spare minute to sleep, he did it in his sea cabin right behind the bridge so that he could quickly return to duty when needed. It took effort, but finally the crew started to find a rhythm. Tom was happy to go back to the challenge of trying to balance his professional and personal responsibilities.

"Hold still, bud," he told his squirming son. Sam was sitting in the chair at his father's desk, not-so-patiently enduring a haircut.

The little boy sighed. "You're taking FOREVER," he dramatically complained.

"That's because I'm trying to make sure you keep both of your ears attached." Sam had been long overdue for a haircut, and Tom was trying to ensure the end result was more or less straight. "Giving you a buzz cut would have been far easier - and faster. I'm used to being able to pay somebody to do this."

Sam started to shake his head - he'd adamantly refused a buzz cut all evening - but Tom pressed one hand down on the top of his son's head, keeping him still.

"You're not cutting my hair," Ashley told her father from her spot sitting on his bed. She was trying to make a necklace. "No way."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Tom retorted with a chuckle. "Okay, I think I'm done," he told Sam as he put down his scissors.

"Do I get a lollipop?" he wondered.

Tom laughed. "Even if I had one, I'm not sure you earned one, pal."

Sam pouted. "I miss lollipops. Especially the grape ones that dyed your mouth purple!"

"Blue raspberry was better," Ashley commented.

Tom shook his head. "You're both wrong. Cherry."

Ashley looked up with a wistful smile. "Remember those cherry slushies we'd get when we went to the pool in the summer?"

"Those were good!" Sam cried.

"Mmm. Those and cheeseburgers always made for the perfect 4th of July," Tom agreed.

"Are we going to have the 4th of July anymore?" Sam wondered.

"I'm sure we will," Tom replied. They were still Americans in his mind, even if the government had ceased to exist and local factions were taking over. "It's a day to celebrate standing up for what you believe in. And that's what we're still doing now."

Ashley smiled. "Do you think we'll still have cheeseburgers?"

"I will put in a request with the galley staff." Both children grinned. "Now… pajamas and bed, both of you. Go."

The kids each gave him a hug before heading through the hatch. "'Night, Daddy."

"'Night, monsters. I love you."

Tom's schedule hadn't been syncing up well with Rachel's ever since they left Norfolk, but he was glad they both got a little bit of downtime late that night. "I was talking with the kids earlier about stuff from home," he told her as they laid together on his bed. "Little stupid things that we miss."

Rachel was using his shoulder for a pillow, absent-mindedly drawing random shapes on his chest with one finger. "Like what?"

"Cherry slushies." He laughed when she looked up at him, confused. "Nevermind. It just got me thinking about other things we don't have here. I'd kill for a slice of real pizza. And that flag-nonsense the crew sometimes plays on deck is NOT football."

"Neither is what you call football," Rachel teased.

Tom laughed. "Are you a soccer fan?"

She rolled her eyes. "No, I didn't watch much FOOTBALL. My father loved cricket, but I didn't follow any sports, really."

"Mmm, I'm shocked," he sarcastically told her, earning himself a glare. "Sam and I can teach you about baseball sometime. So what do you miss from before?"

Rachel thought about it for a moment. "Proper chips," she decided. "And a good pale ale."

He nodded. "Yeah, I'm with you on that one."

The hatch suddenly opened and Ashley came in, crying and coughing. "Sweetheart, what happened?" Tom asked, pulling her onto his lap as he sat up on the bed.

Ashley was pretty hysterical and barely able to speak around her sobs and coughs. "It didn't work!" she choked out.

Tom was starting to get really worried as she carried on. "What didn't work, Ash?"

"The medicine." She coughed again. "It didn't really make me better. I'm sick again!"

"Sweetheart, you're not sick again," Tom tried to tell her, but she shook her head.

"I am! I can't breathe."

"Okay, calm down, luv," Rachel gently told her, rubbing her back. "Just take slow, deep breaths with me, all right?" Ashley coughed a couple more times as she followed the pace Rachel set. Her eyes were still wild and wet with tears, but she at last started to settle down. "Good girl, just keep breathing."

"Did you have a nightmare?" Tom wondered.

Ashley nodded, wiping her eyes. "I was walking around the ship, and everybody was lying on the floor sick or dead. Everybody!"

"It was just a dream, sweetheart. You're not sick."

"How do you know?" she wondered.

Tom smiled over at Rachel. "Because Rachel made sure of it. She's absolutely brilliant, and everyone on this ship is fine, including you. You don't have to worry."

Ashley let out another cough, looking quite pitiful. "But I don't feel good."

Tom smiled sympathetically. "Yeah, you scared yourself pretty badly. Let's wait a few minutes and see if you start feeling better, okay? I'm gonna get you some water."

He got up and headed for his private bathroom. Once he'd filled a small cup with water, Tom returned to the main area of his quarters, but stopped short at the sight in front of him. While he'd been gone, Ashley had curled up on the bed with Rachel. The scientist was laying on her side, while his daughter laid on her back beside her. Their loose brown hair spilled across his pillow together as their heads were nearly touching. Rachel had one arm draped over Ashley, holding her safe and secure, and the young girl had twined their fingers together. Tom found himself desperately wishing he had a camera to capture the moment.

"You're wearing my bracelet," Ashley quietly pointed out when she noticed her gift fastened around the scientist's wrist.

Rachel grinned, raising her arm to touch the heart-shaped charm. "I am. I love it. It makes me feel so special whenever I have it on."

Ashley smiled. "Good."

Tom stepped forward and offered his daughter the cup of water. "Here, drink this slow," he told her. She sat up and took a couple sips. "Better?"

"Yeah. Thank you."

"You're welcome, sweetheart. Do you still feel sick?"

Ashley thought about it for a moment. "My throat hurts a little."

"That may be from coughing," Tom replied with a smile as he sat down beside her. "How about we see how you're doing in the morning? If you really are getting a cold, you can stay in your room instead of going to school."

Ashley frowned. "But we're supposed to keep working on our play tomorrow."

He chuckled. "Then I have a feeling you're going to make a quick recovery. Come on; I'll tuck you back in."

"No, wait," Ashley said. She looked down nervously. "I… Can Dr. Rachel go with me instead?"

Rachel startled, completely unprepared for that request. "What?"

Tom just smiled. "Sounds like a great idea to me. What do you think, Dr. Rachel?"

She was still too surprised to respond for a moment. Ashley seemed totally sincere, a tiny hopeful smile on her face. "Um, of course, if that's what you want."

Ashley nodded before reaching to hug her father. "Goodnight, Daddy."

"Night, Ash. Good dreams, only, okay?"

"Okay."

Rachel stayed with Ashley until she'd fallen back to sleep. After quietly leaving the children's room, she knocked lightly on Tom's door. Both of them were smiling when he opened it. "Is she okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, she's asleep again. Hopefully no more nightmares tonight."

"Thank you."

Rachel shrugged. "It was my pleasure."

"No, really. To know that my kids feel safe with you… You don't know how happy that makes me."

She smiled. Being trusted enough to hold Ashley's hand as the girl fell asleep had nearly made her heart explode. "It means a lot to me, too. I'm happy to do whatever I can for them… I should probably go check on the analysis I was running earlier. I'll see you tomorrow?"

Tom nodded. "Sure."

Rachel started to give him a little kiss on the cheek goodnight, but he turned his head at the last moment and captured her lips with his. Thoughts of leaving evaporated, but Rachel was still rational enough to realize something important. "We're in the p-way again," she whispered when they broke apart.

"Damnit," Tom muttered. "I know. C'mere." She didn't resist as he pulled her behind him into his room.

The instant the hatch shut, he was kissing her again, both of them shuffling back a few steps until Rachel's back was against the door. She felt blanketed by his heat, his passion. Her whole body was on edge. Something between them was different tonight, a new energy.

As Tom's hands pushed Rachel's jacket off her shoulders, hers started tugging his shirt out from the waist of his pants. He helped her out, shedding the garment before reaching to help pull her tank top over her head. Their lips crashed together once more as their fingers tangled together over their heads. But then Rachel felt something against her hand that kicked her brain back into gear. A small bit of cold, hard metal.

"Stop," she panted, trying to get her breathing back under control. "Tom, wait. Stop!"

Feeling her hands press against his bare chest, he stumbled back. "W-what's the matter?" The look of fear in her eyes cut him to the core. "I'm sorry," he instantly apologized, assuming that he'd taken things too far. "I didn't mean to… I didn't think… " She had seemed just as willing as he was, but the idea that he'd been wrong horrified him.

Rachel shook her head. "No, it's not - You didn't do anything wrong. I just… You're still wearing your ring."

Tom looked down at his left hand. His white gold wedding band from Darien sat in its customary place on his ring finger. He was so used to it that he didn't even feel it most of the time.

"I'm not asking you to take it off," Rachel continued. "I wouldn't do that, I just… I don't want us to do something that you're going to regret." If he was still wearing the ring, then on some level, he still felt like a married man.

"I wouldn't," he started to say, but she cut him off.

"Can you say that with total certainty? There's no possible way you'd regret this in the morning?"

Tom's silence spoke volumes; he wasn't totally sure. They both knew, though, that he wouldn't tell her if he did end up having regrets. He'd try to protect her, and a wedge would start growing between them.

Rachel offered him a little smile as she reached to pick up her shirt off the floor. "I want to be with you - "

"And I want to be with you," he promised.

"But I don't want to add to the turmoil and confusion we're already dealing with. I won't hurt you like that."

Tom sighed as he watched her slip her tank top back over her head. He knew she was right, but that didn't mean he had to like it. "It's getting better."

"I know."

"I want to be certain… But I know that's not the same thing."

Rachel nodded. "It's okay. I can wait. It'll be worth it." She gave him a quick kiss. "I should get down to the lab," she excused herself before grabbing her jacket and slipping out the hatch.

Once he was alone, Tom sat down on his bed and put his head in his hands. Couldn't something just come easy for once?

TBC...

A/N: Sorry the updates are slowing down. I've been making some changes to how this story will progress, but my motivation's been lacking.