Author's note: I'd really love to hear your thoughts on this chapter either here or on tumblr (booksrockmyface).

Happiest of reading!

Chapter Eleven

Peeta was in the process of gathering his things to visit Katniss and help her finish setting up for Prim's birthday party when his phone started ringing. He answered it without looking at the readout, thinking it was his girlfriend.

"Hello." He said brightly.

"Hello, Peeta, it's your mother." Came the voice of the woman he never wanted to speak to again.

He bristled. "I told you never to contact me again."

"Please meet with me. I want to speak to you." She sounded genuinely anxious to do so, but he wasn't buying it.

"Forget my number, please, Mother." He said steadily.

"I want to ask your forgiveness. What I did… I was cruel, I know I was. I don't know why I did it, but I did. And I need you to forgive me." She begged.

"Forgive you? For treating me like I wasn't worth the dirt on the bottom of your shoes? Forgive you for hurting me and forcing me to work long hours doing your housework? I don't forgive you."

His mother forged on, "There was this nurse and we started talking about karma and how we bring things upon ourselves. And I was hoping—"

"Hoping that by gaining my forgiveness you would be magically cured? I don't think so. It doesn't work that way. Forget my number. I don't ever want to speak to you again." He pushed the end button and sat down on the couch. He put his face in his hands and took several deep breaths.

His phone rang again. He had the forethought to look at the display this time. Katniss. He pressed the button to accept. He put it to his ear, but didn't say anything right away.

"Peeta? Are you there?" Katniss sounded so far away.

"Katniss." He said softly.

"Something happened." She said. "Do you want to talk about it?"

He swallowed. "Why is it that people think that a simple apology can change anything?"

She paused. "I don't know."

He clenched his jaw. "I can't come over after all."

"Can I come there?" She asked gently.

"You have Prim's party to finish getting ready for."

"I do. But she can finish up if you need me."

He looked around his tiny apartment and shook his head. "I'll be fine. But being surrounded by teenagers is the last thing I need right now and I don't want to bring you down."

"The party is over at ten. I'll be over then. Is that okay? Can we plan for that? I'll call before I come over. If you don't want me to, I'll stay away." Her voice was pleading.

"Okay. Call me at ten. I'll be around." He mumbled, "Goodbye." And then hung up. He curled into a tight ball and closed himself off for a while.

Hours later, he heard his phone ring, but he didn't feel like answering it. Part of him knew it was Katniss, but he couldn't make himself connect the two. He closed his eyes and tried to go to sleep, but the ringing of his phone became so incessant that he couldn't stand it. He turned it off and tried to go to his room, but there was a frantic knock at the door.

"Peeta, it's Katniss, please open up." She begged as she knocked again. "Please, I need to know you're okay. You scared me when we talked earlier. And you're not answering your phone."

He opened the door and stared.

She let out a relieved breath and stepped into the apartment. She took his face into her hands. "What did she do?"

His face hardened. "She thinks if she gets my forgiveness she won't die. She thinks it's that simple."

"She doesn't realize what she did doesn't deserve your forgiveness." Katniss kicked the door closed and stepped closer. "And you don't have to. But if you do, you don't do it for her, you do it for yourself." She rested her forehead against his. "Peeta, I want you to know that I… I care about you. I care what happens to you. And I want you to be okay. I was so scared."

He nodded. "I am. I'm fine. Better now that you're here." He stepped back and led her to the couch. It was becoming their make out spot these last several days. He gave her a reassuring smile and pulled her in for a kiss. "Will you lay here with me for a while?"

"Of course." She pushed him back and rested her head on his chest. "I had teenagers all over my house. It's a giant mess. I don't want to go home and clean."

He chuckled and trailed his fingers over her back. He picked up her braid and started unraveling it. "You can stay here as long as you need." He combed his fingers through her hair.

"And how long do you need me to stay?" She asked.

He kissed the top of her head. "I don't know. But I do like having you around."

They lay in silence for a long time. She listened to the steady beating of his heart as he continued to comb his fingers through his hair. She felt herself falling asleep.

Softly she said, "I thought about killing myself a few times."

"You did what?" He wasn't entirely sure he'd heard her.

"Thought about killing myself." She repeated. She rested her chin on his chest and looked up at him. "I still have the urge when my medication gets all wonky. I asked for help because I didn't want to be my mother. She tried it a bunch of times before she finally did it. Prim needed me. I started going to therapy several years ago. I only started getting Prim to talk to someone after our mom did it" She pressed her eyes into his neck. "You're not the only one with problems, Peeta."

"I should tell you something." Peeta said almost reluctantly.

Katniss raised her head and looked at him. "What do you think you should tell me?"

"I've never had sex before." He said softly. "I'm not very comfortable with myself. Well, you've experienced it. Hardly anyone even sees me without my leg."

She brushed a kiss over his lips. "That's understandable. And completely fine."

He took her face in his hands. "Are you sure? Most people seem to think—"

She put her fingers against his lips. "It doesn't make you any less of a man. Some people just don't do it. There are a lot of reasons and all of them are valid. Yours especially."

He kissed her fingers and pulled them away. "I never wanted anyone to see my scars. I know you must feel them under my shirt when you touch me, but that's a little different. I can imagine it's just my shirt wrinkling."

"You never have to show me, you know. Just keep a shirt on, even if we make love. Never shower with the door open or with me. I don't have to see them."

"I want you to." He swallowed. "Very soon."

She sat up and looked at him a moment. Katniss removed her shirt and watched Peeta expectantly. "You don't have to take yours off yet." She reached out to him and cupped his face. "But I would love to see your scars."

He studied her a moment and then turned around and pulled his shirt over his head. Katniss's breath caught at the sight of the many lashes crossing the expanse of his back. She let it out slowly. She pressed her lips to his shoulder. She spread her hands over his back and continued to trail her mouth over his neck and shoulders.

Peeta sighed. "That feels..."

"If you want me to stop, say it." She assured him.

"Keep going." He whispered. "I like it."

She smoothed her hands up his back as she bent her body lower to trail her lips down his spine. She retraced her kisses up his back and slipped her arms under his around his chest. She rested her chin on his shoulder. "I hate that she did this to you."

He was silent.

"But you are loved, Peeta. You may not be loved by her, but that doesn't matter. You're loved by Finnick and Annie and Finn." She swallowed and whispered, "And by me."

He turned and cupped her cheeks. "I can't…" He kissed her softly. "Don't say you love me."

"Why not?"

"Just don't, okay? I'm not ready to hear that yet."

She yawned. "I'm sorry."

He shook his head. "You should head back." He watched her. "Unless you want to stay here. The bed is pretty comfy. I'll sleep on the couch."

She looked around the room and then shook her head. "If I sleep in the bed, so do you." She took out her phone and sent Prim a text. "Staying with Peeta. Don't do anything stupid or reckless until I can be around to fix it."

"I have something you can sleep in." Peeta asked, "Do you work tomorrow?"

"Not until later in the day." Katniss stood and held out her hand.

He slipped his hand into hers and followed her into the room. He opened his drawers and handed over a t-shirt and a pair of boxers. "There you go. I'll turn the lights out while you change."

"Thanks." She took the clothes from him and pushed her jeans down her legs.

He paused and watched her a moment. "Your arms… From the archery, I guess…" he laughed nervously. "You look like you could pick me up."

"I don't think I really could." She looked him over. "I thought you were getting the lights."

"I am. I will." He moved closer and cupped her face. "Look how pretty you are."

She placed her hands on his chest and trailed them down his stomach. They rested on his waistband as she stepped out of her jeans. "Look how handsome you are."

He swallowed. "You want to take those off?"

"I'd like to, yes."

He smoothed his hands down her arms. "You can do it."

"As long as you're certain." She popped the button and reached for the zipper. She looked into his eyes and waited for him to nod. After that she pressed her lips to his and slowly unzipped his jeans.

He turned his face away a moment as they dropped to the floor and she got her first look at his prosthetic leg. She dropped to her knees and slid her hands over his thighs.

"Look at me." She said softly.

He let out a long breath and looked down. "Yes?"

She leaned forward and pressed her lips to the skin above his false leg while keeping her eyes locked with his. "I don't mind it." She stood and walked toward the bed. "You have condoms, right?"

He cleared his throat and nodded. "There's a box in the nightstand." He pointed. "Give me a minute." He stepped out of his jeans and turned to the living room where he turned off all the lights.

"We don't have to if you don't want to." Katniss said from the other room.

Peeta stepped into the bedroom once more and watched her as she sat on the bed. She looked around anxiously. He sat beside her and slipped his hand into hers. She twirled a foil square in her other hand.

"We don't have to if you don't want to, either." He said softly. "It's not a requirement."

She turned and rested her head against his. "No, it's not."

He kissed her softly and then let go of her hand. "Do you mind if I take this off?" He indicated his leg.

She shook her head and then dropped to the floor in front of him. She asked, "How does this work?"

He pushed a button on the bottom and stuck out his leg. "Just sort of tug it off."

She did as he said and then sat it on the floor just under the bed. "What now? This…?"

"It's a sock. Just take it off and throw it over by the bathroom." He brushed his fingers over her cheeks as she removed the sock. "And that's the liner. You take it from the top here and roll it inside out." He swallowed as she rolled the liner down.

"Where do I put it?" She asked.

He pointed to a stick on the other side of the night stand. "On top of that."

She did and then she looked at the naked limb before her. She looked up into his face. She could see he was uncomfortable. She got back on the bed. "Enough of that. You must feel better."

"I do." He swallowed and pulled her close for a kiss. It was almost desperate the way he kissed her as he lowered her to the mattress. He continued to kiss her as he braced his hands on either side of her head.

Katniss trailed her fingers over his back, tracing some of the raised scars.

Peeta raised his head. "Please don't do that."

"Sorry." She spread her hands over his back and pulled him down. She wrapped her leg around his waist.

He dropped to his elbows as he stretched out over her more fully. He moaned into her mouth and pressed his growing erection against her. He trailed his lips across her jaw and down her neck. He sucked hard as the juncture between her neck and shoulder.

"Oh." She gasped. "I like that."

He smiled against her skin and kissed his way back up her neck. He took her earlobe into his mouth. "Tell me what you want me to do."

"Get this bra off me." She pushed herself up and caught his mouth as they sat up together. She took his hands and put them behind her back. She smiled. "Can you do it?"

He laughed. "I don't have any experience with bras." He fumbled with it for nearly a minute, grumbling about it until it finally popped loose and he pulled it away triumphantly. He waved it around and threw it across the room.

Katniss laughed. "Okay, Mr. Mellark, enough of that." She pulled him back down onto the bed.

Peeta tugged on the corner of the blanket as they kissed again. "I feel dirty when you call me Mr. Mellark." He rolled her on top of him as he pulled the blanket out of the way.

"Then I won't do it again. Promise." She pushed herself up and looked down at him. "So you want to get under the blanket?"

"Well, I'd rather not have sex on top of the blanket." He held her hips gently and rubbed his thumbs back and forth before he slipped his hand tentatively under the band of her panties.

"That should go just a bit lower." She said softly.

"How much lower?" He asked as he moved farther.

"Let me take these off and I'll show you." She shimmied out of them and spread her legs over his hips. She took his hand and guided it to her hard, ready nub. "There." She rotated her hips around his finger and he followed her with several unsure strokes before they both caught a rhythm.

She leaned in for a kiss just as he raised up and they bumped heads. Both of them raised and hand to rub the wound with a laugh.

"You go." He said as he continued to rub her clit.

She smiled and brought her mouth to his. She moaned into his mouth and twisted her hips to encourage him to move faster. She met her climax just a short time later, clutching at his shoulders and whispering his name like a plea.

She rolled away and looked up at the ceiling.

"Was that okay?" He asked softly.

"That was great." She turned her head and smiled at him. "Now, what would you like to do next?"

He watched her a moment and then rolled over on top of her. He leaned down and kissed her softly. "Where's that condom?"

"Over here, hold on." She twisted to grab the square off the table and elbowed him in the nose.

He sat back and covered his face. "You're beating me up over here." He said with a laugh. "Am I bleeding?" He twisted his head around and she shook her head.

"It's not bleeding. I'm so sorry." She sat up and kissed the bridge of his nose. "Are you okay?"

"It still hurts." He moved his nose around a little. "I'm okay. Let's try this again." He covered her mouth with his and pressed her back on the bed. He took off his underwear and sat up once more.

She wrapped her hand around his erection and stroked it as he worked to open the package.

He watched the movement as his breath caught in his chest. "That's nice."

"Nice, huh?" She tightened her grip a little.

He leaned forward with a heavy moan.

"You better put that condom on." She took it from him and rolled it on as he settled himself between her legs. He leaned over her and she gasped in pain. "You're on my hair."

He lifted his hand away. "Sorry." He pushed her hair away and put his hand back down. "Better?"

"Much." She took his length in her hand again and guided him inside. "Okay, whenever you're ready."

Peeta chuckled nervously. "Tell me if I'm doing this wrong."

Katniss gently squeezed his bottom. "There is no wrong way from this moment on as long as you like it." She lifted her head for a kiss and he met her the rest of the way with a smile.

"We didn't bump heads that time." He said proudly.

"We'll get it figured out eventually."

"We will." He moved out slowly and back in. He did it slowly a few more times before he decided to speed up.

She encouraged him with many groans and sighs. "You okay?" She asked when he stopped for a moment.

"Fine. Just trying to…" He smiled and started moving again. "It's different."

"It is." She smiled.

He covered her mouth with his as he finally met his climax. She had another small one herself as she felt him pulsating inside her. He broke the kiss and rested his head against hers.

She smoothed her hands over his back. "That's nice." She sighed.

He smiled and nodded before he rolled away. "Very." He took in a slow, deep breath and let it out. "My god, what have I been missing?"

She snorted and rolled into his side. "Same thing I have." She kissed his shoulder. "I love you. I mean it, I love you."

His face grew serious as he watched her. He tangled his fingers in her hair. "When you were talking before about Annie and Finnick and Finn loving me… I believed that. I believed it because they have shown me in so many ways how they love me. But when you said it then, I was afraid you were only saying it because you felt sorry for me and wanted me to feel better. But now I know it's true. And I feel like I'm worthy of you. I didn't feel like that until now."

She held his wrist and turned her head to kiss his palm. "You've always been worthy of my love. Even if you're not sure about your love for yourself, always know that I'm here. I'm not planning on going anywhere just yet."

He pulled her close and kissed her hard. "Thank you."