CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE: BREAKTHROUGH

By the time the party was over, Tom had an inkling that he was in the doghouse. By that night, he was certain of it.

Rachel had slipped away from the party before he did, but she wasn't in her lab when he went looking for her after the children were in bed. Or the flight deck. Or the gym. Or the wardroom. Finally, on a whim, he stopped by her room and was relieved when she opened the door.

"Hey. There you are. You okay?"

Rachel barely nodded. "Fine."

"Good... You looked really beautiful today. Not that you're not always beautiful," he added.

"Flattery will not help you," she told him.

He sighed. "No, but it was worth a shot."

After a moment, Rachel opened the hatch wider and let him in. "You shouldn't have meddled with Bertrise. She's not a little girl."

"I was trying to look out for her, like I know you are. She may not be a little girl, but she's still young and pretty sheltered and I know how some boys in the Navy can be."

Rachel raised an eyebrow. "Is that a fact?"

"There's a saying that military academies turn 18-year-old young men into 22-year-old boys. In my experience... that's about right."

"Would that include you?"

Tom looked away. "I plead the fifth."

"Mmm-hmm. Well, Reggie isn't that type of young man," Rachel protested.

Despite the fact that he already knew he was in trouble, Tom just couldn't resist pushing her buttons. "How well do you know him?"

She fixed him with a Look. "I know enough. I trust Bertrise; she has good instincts."

"Teenagers aren't generally known for their good instincts."

Rachel glared. "She is far from a normal teenager. Your daughter is going to think you're an absolute nightmare in a few years, isn't she?"

"No."

"No?"

"No. Because Ashley's not dating until she's 30, and even then, only if she's lucky."

Rachel scoffed. "Good luck with that!"

Tom smiled. It was time to wave the white flag before he REALLY got himself in trouble. "Between you and me, I think Reggie is a nice kid. Bertrise will be okay."

"Good."

"But neither one of them needs to know that. I've got a reputation to maintain." He gave her a wink.

"Mmm... I don't agree with your methods, but thank you for looking out for Bertrise. It does mean a lot to me."

"Oh yeah?" he wondered. Rachel nodded. "So I'm forgiven?"

She smiled. "I don't know if I'd go that far…"

Tom laughed. "Well, how do I make it up to you?"

Rachel pretended to think about it for a moment. "What's currently in your secret stash in the galley?"

"Who says I have a secret stash?" She simply raised an eyebrow, as if to say 'Are you sure that's the way you want to go?'. Tom was a smart man - he quickly relented. "Which one of my kids ratted me out?" he wondered as they headed out the hatch toward the wardroom.

"Your daughter has a sweet tooth."

The following afternoon, Tom was roaming between departments on the ship and decided to make a stop by the flight deck. He knew that his kids, Ava, and Katie, would be outside having 'recess'. A smile crossed his face as he stepped through the door and saw Sam and Katie happily playing snail, while Ava and Ashley futilely tried to get Rachel to step off the sidelines and join them jumping rope. The girls were giggling away at the scientist's exaggerated protests.

To Tom's surprise, there was already someone else watching the kids from a place just outside the door. He couldn't decipher the look on Mike's face as his eyes followed his daughter's every move. "How'd you end up down here?" the Captain asked his XO.

"I was on my way back from engineering. Could hear them laughing from the upper deck and couldn't resist coming to see… God, she just makes my heart so much lighter."

Tom smiled. "Yeah. I wish I had more hours in the day to be with my kids."

"Katie's been having nightmares," Mike admitted, finally looking over at his friend. "Most nights, she's been sleeping in my bed… wakes up at o-dark-thirty - sometimes more than once - crying and shaking like a leaf. I sure as hell can't blame her; I'm surprised she's not catatonic after everything she's been through." Katie had been laying between her mother and sister's corpses when he found her, practically dead herself. He wondered sometimes what was so special about his little girl that had allowed her to survive. Was it pure chance, or did a higher power have some purpose for her? Whatever it was, hopefully her mental recovery would be just as complete as her physical one.

"I would do anything to take the fear and pain away from her," Mike continued. "Absolutely anything. I see her scared and hurting every day, and I feel completely helpless. So to see her like this now…" He turned back toward his daughter in time to see her let out a peal of laughter as Sam fought hard to stay balanced on one foot, waving his arms wildly. "I'm so grateful she has some opportunity to just be a kid."

"I felt the same way," Tom told him. "Ash and Sam also had a real rough time when they got here… and I know I wasn't there for them like I should have been."

"You were dealing with a lot," Mike tried to let him off the hook.

"That didn't make it any easier for them," he replied. "But thankfully, they've gotten better with time. Everything just takes time. But I'm still grateful for any little thing that can bring smiles to their faces."

There was a long pause. "They're not the only ones who have been smiling more recently," Mike spoke up at last, turning to his CO.

Tom sighed. "No, they aren't. And I'm not going to apologize for that."

"You shouldn't," Mike agreed. "It's good to see you happy. If there's one thing I've learned with absolute certainty this past year… none of us are in control of our lives, no matter how much we wish we were."

"Mmm. Isn't that the truth."

"However, I wouldn't mind some instructions for how to handle all the shit that keeps coming." Both men chuckled slightly.

"Together," Tom answered. "Working as a team is the only option we have." Mike nodded.

They both looked up as Rachel approached, a wary look on her face. "What's wrong?" she asked the men. It was unusual for the children to have an audience during play time. Having both of the ship's leaders there seemed even more ominous.

"Nothing, don't worry," Tom told her.

Mike offered them both a little smile. "I should get back to the bridge." As he went back inside, Tom tipped his head in the direction of the biolab, indicating to Rachel that they should go talk in private.

She was still feeling guarded, certain that something had happened, as he closed the hatch behind them. Therefore, it was a complete surprise when Tom simply wrapped his arms around her and his lips found hers. The kiss was gentle and sweet, full of adoration. "What's this about?" she wondered with a little smile, the tension starting to melt from her body.

"Just because I can," he replied. "Mike and I were talking, and I started thinking about some pretty dark times… I wouldn't have gotten through them without you and my dad and my kids. You know how grateful I am for you, every day, right?"

Rachel smiled. "I know. But I'll never get tired of hearing you say you love me."

"I do. Dr. Rachel Scott, I love you."

"And I love you, Captain Thomas Chandler." They both chuckled as they kissed again, not even breaking apart at the sound of the hatch opening.

"Oh, for Pete's sake… Get a room, you two!" Jed admonished them with a laugh as he came inside with the children. Ashley and Ava giggled.

"Not a terrible idea," Tom whispered to Rachel, making her blush an even deeper shade of red. "My place, later?"

"Sure," she whispered back.

"Alright, I'm headed back up to the bridge. Bye, monsters!" he called to the children.

"Bye, Daddy!"

"Bye, Captain!" they chorused.

"We should be getting back to our work, too," Jed told the kids. His response was multiple groans.

Rachel looked down as she felt little fingers wrap around her own. Sam was standing beside her with big, questioning eyes. "What's wrong, luv?" she asked. He didn't answer, just looked over to his grandfather and the girls, then back at her. "Um, Jed? Can I bring Sam up to the wardroom in a few minutes?" Rachel asked him. "I could use his help, briefly."

The older man frowned slightly, wondering what was going on. However, the look on her face told him not to ask and not to argue. "Okay. Let's go, girls - last one there gets the first math problem." Needless to say, they scrambled for the hatch.

Rachel knelt in front of Sam once they were alone. "Did you want to talk about something?" she wondered.

His eyes were focussed down on his sneakers, although he didn't let go of her hand. "Do you love my Daddy?" he asked in a barely audible whisper.

Rachel smiled, hoping that maybe Sam was starting to come around. "I do," she promised. "Very much."

"Do… do you love us?"

She gently put a finger under his chin and made him look her in the eye. "With all my heart." The look of dismay that crossed Sam's face didn't go unnoticed. "It's okay if you can't say the same," Rachel was quick to reassure him. "I don't want you to feel obligated to do or say or feel anything you're not ready for."

However, Sam shook his head. "I love you, too. But I didn't want to, 'cause…" his eyes were suddenly shining with tears. "Will you promise not to go away to Heaven like Mommy did?"

Rachel felt like she'd been punched straight in the chest. Had she been looking at this the wrong way all along? Had Sam's hesitancy around her not been motivated by a sense of betrayal but a fear of having someone else to lose? His fickle behavior could have been a nine-year-old's best idea for how to protect himself from more pain. Now it had reached a point where he couldn't keep pushing his feelings away and he was looking to her to make it better. "Oh, Sammy…"

Sam's tears fell as he threw himself into her arms. Sadness, worry, grief, and frustration that he'd been holding inside since Baltimore all boiled off at once. Rachel held him as he sobbed and sniffled into her shoulder, gently rubbing his back until he finally calmed down. It gave her time to figure out what to say; he desperately needed comfort, but it couldn't come in the form of lies.

"I'd gladly promise that if I could," she whispered as he straightened. "I don't want to ever leave you, just like I know your mother didn't want to leave you. But... there are some things in life that we can't control. You know what we can control?" Sam shook his head. "We can decide how to spend the time we have. We can decide to make wonderful memories together and share stories and laughs and dreams - and hugs," she added with a little grin as she held him close.

Sam cracked a tiny smile. "Yeah."

Rachel's conversation with Tom suddenly flashed through her mind, and she realized that what she'd told him was true for the children as well. "It's good to hear people say they love each other sometimes, isn't it?" He nodded. "It's what makes life worthwhile. So I can tell you how loved you are as often as you like."

Sam wrapped his arms around her again, almost too tightly. "Thank you," he whispered.

Rachel kissed his forehead. "You don't have to thank me, darling. How could I not love such a wonderful boy like you?" He shrugged slightly with a smile. "Do you feel a bit better?" Sam nodded. "So… we should probably get you up to your math lesson, hmm?"

"Do we have to?"

Rachel laughed. "Yes, luv, we do. You want to grow up smart like your father, don't you?"

"Yeah… Okay, let's go."

TBC...

A/N: We're getting close to the end of this journey; only two chapters left.