April finding out she's pregnant with Hannah and Jackson reassuring her they will be okay.

"April?"

She almost jumps with the sound of his voice. Looking down at the sealed envelope she's holding in her hands, she licks her dry lips, takes a deep breath and finally looks up to him.

They've been sitting on this chapel pew for the past five minute. In silence, side by side, trying to come up with the courage to finally open that envelope, he can feel her mind working, thinking about every possible scenario and worrying.

The signs were undeniable and the only thing left to do was take a blood test. Waiting for it all day almost killed him, almost killed them both. And when she texted him to meet her at the chapel at the end of the day, he stopped everything he was doing and rushed to be by her side.

She can't seem to open the envelope, though. A rational fear took over her whole entire body and his wife can't move, can't even make a sound. He can hear her irregular breathing, the way her heart is beating incessantly on her chest.

The chapel is empty, quiet, and silent. The last time Jackson was here was a long time ago. Praying to a God he didn't believe in was his last resource, but it seemed to work. She got the help she needed that day and He appeared to be hearing Jackson's prayer. The circumstances are different now, and yet he's more scared than ever.

"What if I'm not pregnant?"

Jackson can hear the fear in her voice; the fear of losing someone important again, even if she's not entirely sure the person is really there.

She shared the news with him last night, almost in tears, when she couldn't hide it any longer. Astonished, he simply held her, trying to come up with a way to hold on to his feelings without crumbling down in doubts and fears too.

He knows she's been having the suspicion for a couple of weeks now, but kept it. It was a secret from and to herself, a feeling that touched her heart and a dream that worried her, but completed her in some way.

He also knows that if she's not pregnant, it will be just like having to go through another loss. She already has illogical strings with this idea, with this baby. Surely this wasn't planned and she definitely didn't asked to be a mother again this soon. Neither one of them did. The scars of losing their child are still healing, still too painful somehow. But now, facing the fact that she could indeed be pregnant, the excitement of the thought alone brings them the same hope it once did.

"And what if I'm pregnant?" April goes on, looking down at the white envelope once more. Sure, she has a thick skin, but she doesn't know how much more she can take. If heartbreak strikes again, she might never recover from it. The fact was, she didn't how bad she wanted it until it happened. She wanted this baby, she wanted this family, she wanted this feeling, but there are so many red flags and, like a knife threatening to stab her yet again, she simply can't let her guard down. "What if it happens- what if it happens this time too?" Her voice seems to crack as she raises the back of her hand up to her nose, to keep the tears from coming back.

"What happened with Samuel was-" He starts, but quickly pauses, feeling his own voice crack with all these overwhelming emotions. Moving on the pew to face her and bring himself closer, he takes a deep breath and places one hand on her wrist. "It's not genetic. It was…" It was what it had to be and it happened as it was supposed to happen. Their little boy was the chosen one amongst a few others, and no one could control that. Accepting it was hard, but time heals every wound and he's almost healed now. "Just because it happened once, it doesn't mean it will happen a second time."

"But what if it does?" The fear of losing a second child haunts her at night, and she doesn't know if she's brave enough to go through with it without worrying every minute of every day.

"I don't know. I don't… know." Jackson retorts, slowly reaching for her hand. Maybe if she feels him, she won't be too scared. Yet, she looks absolutely terrified right now and he can't let those scary thoughts consume her. Not again, at least. "I can't make you promises about the baby or… you know-" With every loss comes tears and sorrow. An uncountable suffering words can never begin to describe. But in the end, love conquers all. And, just like he did before, he will be there for her, hoping she stays there for him too. "All I can say, is that no matter what happens, I've got you. And you've got me and together… we can do this."

She gives him a weak smile, looking at him with her sad eyes, holding all the tears threatening to run down her rosy cheeks. Then, nodding, she takes a deep breath. Feeling his love and commitment, April knows that at least she's ready now.

Putting the envelope down on her lap, she cups the side of his face. Pausing to take one last glance, she thanks God for the man that he is, for the kind words, for the patience, for the love. Because he is the love of her love and soon to be the father of her child.

Kissing his lips, she doesn't even need to open the envelope anymore. Against her better judgment, she simply knows it. She's pregnant again.

..

Requested byviscaacsiv