Authors notes: Thank you for opening this up. This was a very difficult chapter to write, and makes me really hate myself for writing it, but the story must go on. A very special thanks to my friend Rob, who (like in most of my recent chapters in this fic) has taken the time out of his busy day to correct some of the typos I just can not see because I am not gifted with the good eyes. BTW, fun fact, without glasses I hardly see anything... it's scary, and my vision is just getting worst. You might ask, "then why don't you write with them on?" Well because after spending ten hours in school doing nothing but reading, my eyes hurt xD

In other words, I'm just getting old... and my spelling has always been embarrassingly terrible. Moving on...

PART 1

The whole "grounded" deal lasted only until the weekend, when I sneaked away again to meet with Tere. After that I did it again and again. Mom stopped trying to get me to stay home, she would just shake her head as I walked out and tell me, "it's your life," with a sigh. She was picking up on dad's old customs, it made me kind of sad, but at least she wasn't standing by the door and forcing me to stay like I originally thought she would. I felt bad not following her rules, but I couldn't be in that house, next to that phone, and waiting for it to ring when I knew damn well that it wasn't going to. Dante hadn't returned my call and I hadn't called him again, it had been almost a month.

On the weekends I would hang out with Tere at Charlie's house. It kind of became a hobby: wake up, hate my life, go to school, hate my life, get home and call Tere, hate my life, go to work, hate my life, and hang out with her on the weekend while drinking beer, smoking weed, and hating my life. I just hated everything, was mad at everything, and wanted to punch everything.

Being at Charlie's made everything, at that time, bearable though. I could drink, I could smoke, and if someone pissed me off, I could curse them out all I wanted. No one really stood up to me, they mostly just backed away. I was getting a reputation for starting fights, I think Tere liked that. She would always cling to my arm trying to pull me away from whoever I was talking shit too, but would kiss me and tell me 'que loco' with the hugest smile on her face and laugh at how scared the other person looked, afterwards.

It was thanksgiving day. I had picked up an extra shift at work just to get out of the family dinner at home. With my whole "rebel phase" who knows how awkward that would have been. Tere showed up at the Charcoaler around four in the afternoon and invited me to go eat. I wanted to go, I wanted something different than the food I had been around all day, and it was thanksgiving after all, the occasion called for something different.

I guess we were kind of dating. I mean, I never asked her and she never asked me, but we hanged out almost daily, we kissed when we were together, and everybody thought we were, so I guess we were.

We were about to walk into the restaurant when I realized I had left my wallet at home, we went back to the house to get it. She was happy to go. We'd hanged out for about a month but never once had she gone to my house. On the way, she joked about how now she would be able to stalk me. I laughed out loud.

I parked in the front, was about to tell her to wait for me but she was already out of the truck, guess she wasn't having a no for an answer. She looked really pretty that day. It was fresh outside, she was wearing a long sleeve black shirt with a mid-thigh denim skirt on top of black tights. Her shoes, black flats, made her look even shorter than usual, standing next to me she could fit right under my chin. I always joked around about how she was made pocket-sized. Her black hair was up in half a ponytail, which was good because it showed her cute face. She had some purple makeup mixed with black in her eyelids, and it sparkled so she must've also put on glitter. She liked glitter... And tattoos, which got me thinking, how many of them were showing? How many would my mother notice? I got a little scared, but all covered up as she was, none of them popped from under her clothes, and I thanked the universe for cold weather. One less thing to worry about.

She reached out for my hand as we walked inside, "I'm just going to get my wallet."

"I know. Who will be here?"

"My mom and my dad, I guess."

"Yeay! Guess I finally get to meet the in-laws."

We both laughed.

I opened the front door, and walked in holding her tiny hand in mine.

All eyes looked up.

All eyes.

There shouldn't be that many eyes there, but there they were, all five pairs staring at me.

I froze for a second before remembering I had feet and I could very much walk away from this on them. "I came to get my wallet," I repeated, choking on my own words, walking passed them.

No one answered back, they stared at Tere, so I turned to her. She was smiling.

"Hi," she said.

Not a single word.

"We're just here to get his wallet. He forgot it," She announced again.

"Who are you?" My mother asked, she must not have noticed just how rude she sounded, she must have been in shock.

"Oh, I'm sorry how rude. I'm Tere," she said, "nice to meet you, I'm Ari's girlfriend."

My body went ice cold, I looked at Dante, he looked sick. I felt sick. I had to throw up. I had to get out of there.

I pulled her passed everyone and into my room. I should of had let go of her hand, but I didn't. I slammed the door shut.

Fuck! Fuck, Fuck, Fuck!

"My wallet," I said. "Let me just get it so we can go."

"Does your family not like me?"

"What?" I asked. I was confused, I couldn't think of anything that wasn't Dante and his mother and his father, and my mother and my father all staring at me form the thanksgiving table.

"It looked like they didn't like me."

"They don't know you."

"Maybe I should say something."

"No, it's best if you don't."

"Are your parents mean?"

"What? No! They're the nicest people ever."

"Oh..."

The wallet, the wallet, where the fuck was the wallet?

Got it!

Now to get out, it had to be quick. I grabbed her hand again, it was to ensure we both rushed out of there instead of some show of affection, but she smiled when I reached out for her, and tip-toed to kiss my cheek. I wanted to push her away.

I opened the door, the get away had to be fast, "we're leaving. Don't wait for me, I'll be out real late."

I was determined to walk out as soon as possible, to not let anything keep me there, until I heard a glass break. I had so much guilt at first I thought someone had thrown it at me, but when I turned, I saw Dante bending down to pick up the glass shards with his bear hands.

"You're going to cut yourself," his dad told him, and got up to get something from the kitchen.

His mother was helping him get up, "are you ok?" she asked.

He was on his knees, holding himself up with both hands from the floor. His face was pale, I mean really, really, pale.

He threw up right in front of his mom, in front of everyone.

"Ay, Dios," she said, and he gagged again, throwing everything out of his stomach, reaching for his throat with his hands.

Mr. Quintana hurried back from the kitchen.

Dante started crying, and I don't mean like little tears here and there. He started crying, tears and tears coming out, sobbing and gagging like I've never seen anyone before.

I felt like shit.

"Go wait outside," I told Tere. "In the truck."

"Is everything-"

"Go!" I yelled.

She turned to look at Dante one last time, Mr. Quintana was helping him to the restroom, then she walked out.

As soon as that door slammed shut I rushed after him.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" He yelled, his cheeks were wet with tears, he was dangling over the water faucet trying to keep his balance. His dad opened the running water, and with shaky hands he managed to throw some in his face.

"Dante-"

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" He yelled again, as loud as he could straight out of his lungs, his face was red with anger now, he looked like he wanted to throw a punch, and Dante had never looked like that. "You're a liar, you're such a liar!"

"How the fuck am I a liar?" I asked, anger rushing through me too. "How the fuck am I-"

I had raised my voice, but his was louder, "You lied to me!" He broke down, "you told me that you loved me, you told me... You told me!"

"You left me, don't you remember? Or is this remember only what is convenient to you day?" I was such an asshole, I don't even want to remember it.

His dad stepped out of the restroom, he figured we needed to talk.

"You cheated one me," his voice was hard when he said it, with resentment. I took a step back, I didn't want to hear it, "Is that the same girl? You cheated on me with her and then you made her your girlfriend?"

I looked at the floor, "She isn't even my girlfriend."

"Look at me when I'm talking to you," he yelled. I looked up like an idiot. "So you just hold hands with random strangers and bring anyone to your house for thanksgiving?!"

"I just came to pick up my wallet, I wasn't bringing her over for thanksgiving, besides you left me! You didn't answer when I called you, you never returned my calls. What was I supposed to do Dante? Wait like an idiot for you to decide to call me back? Just like I always waited." Everything I had wanted to say was coming out of me like lava, I was unable to stop it. "When we were together you never wanted me. I always had to be begging for the crumbs of love you wanted to give me." He made a weird face, like he didn't understand what I was talking about, "I was the one that always had to be running after you. I would kiss you and you would push me away, I would try to touch you and you wouldn't let me. You rejected me again and again and I never said anything, but I got tired of it Dante! I got tired of it."

"So all of this is just because I didn't want to have sex with you?"

"Yet you were fine with kissing who knows how many people in Chicago! You made out with Daniel and who knows what the fuck you two were doing alone in that alley! You always talked about sex like it wasn't that important, like it was just an experiment, yet you never let me be the one to experiment with you."

"You always tried to do things in the weirdest places, unprepared, in public... I wanted it to be special!" I was falling, I felt like I was falling. "I wanted our first time to be something we could always remember, you thought I didn't want to be with you? Did you really think that? After all the time I've been in love with you!" I was speechless, "I thought about it every fucking day. I had already reserved a hotel room, I had the movie, I recorded a fucking tape with music, I'm such an idiot!"

I reached for my head with both hands, I was dizzy.

"You broke my heart."

"Dante, please don't say that."

"I don't know what to do. What am I going to do without you, Ari?" He broke down again in tears and cries. I wanted to hug him. I realized that it didn't just feel like I was falling, I actually was falling. I stumbled against the wall and decided to stay there. I looked at the floor in disbelief, I looked at Dante in disbelief, the restroom was spinning. "What am I going to do?" he asked again.

I cried too, "Dante, please stop crying."

"Go to fucking hell, Ari. Don't ask for that right now! Do you want me to be smiling? Do you want me to be laughing?"

"I'm an idiot."

"Well at least you got that right."

"Dante, I'm so sorry."

"That isn't good enough, it's nowhere near good enough."

"Dante-"

"Go with your girlfriend, get out of here!"

"I don't give a damn about her!"

"Go with her! She's waiting for you, isn't she?"

"Stop talking about her, I don't care about her!" I hugged him, I don't remember how or when I decided to do it, but I remember feeling him against me. "I care about you. I only care about you."

"Don't you dare even say it," he pushed me away.

He pushed, and he pushed, and he pushed.

"Mentiroso," he told me, and for some reason the word felt worst in Spanish, like he was preserving that language for deep blows only, and this was one of them. "Get off of me, don't even think-"

"Let's just talk about it-"

"I don't want to fucking talk about it!"

"You're going to listen!" I yelled. I held him and forced him to look at me, "Why don't you ever fucking listen to what I have to say? You're such a hypocrite, Dante! You're getting mad at me for this when you've been with who knows how many people! What did you do in Chicago?! Huh? Tell me!" My mom and his dad where already in the restroom, they always got in between us when things got ugly, and that day things got very, very ugly. "C'mon, tell everyone here, what did you use to send me in the letters? You're not nice, you're not even clean! You make out with just about anyone just for the fuck of it, and then have the nerve to tell me about all the details!"

"Shut up!" He yelled back.

"You knew that I would hate it! You knew because you're not an idiot! You're not an idiot," I repeated. "You're just a fucking manipulator!"

"What?!"

"Don't act like you don't know what I mean, you pretend to be a good boy, but you're a nasty fucking thing!"

"Ari!" Both of my parents yelled in unison.

"C'mon Dante, we're leaving," Mr Quintana said.

"Tell your parents, Dante! Tell them the type of person that you really are! You're a-" I stopped myself, but in the end decided to say it, "You're a hoe! A hoe that pretends to be all innocent!"

"Hey, that's enough," Mr. Quintana told me. "I don't want you near my son."

"You should keep your son out of alleys too, just a heads up, you know."

My mom shook her head, she couldn't believe what I was saying.

"You wont see me again," I heard Dante say, and that broke something inside of me that I will never be able to understand.

I know that I ran after him, I know that I was crying, I know that I was a mess.

The universe was black. The noise wasn't real, that wasn't really happening, that was all a bad dream. The light that Dante had brought into my life was fading, like every great dynasty on this Earth, our story was coming to an end, but I couldn't just let that happen. I clinged on to him with all I had.

"Let go of him."

"Let go of him."

It was all a blur, the tears, the screams, the cries. Somehow we all ended up on the floor. It took so much for me to finally let go, everybody had to pull me off of him, and when I did and I saw him walk away, the universe spun so fast under my feet that I hyperventilated.

I don't remember much details about what happened, but somehow I remember exactly how hyperventilating felt. My legs were shaking, in the mess we had all ended up in the kitchen, and I leaned my back against the countertop. I wanted to breathe but I couldn't, it was frightening. It was like being underwater but while still on land. No matter how much I tried the air was insufficient. My breathing rate increased faster and faster, I was gasping for air like a fish without water. I was wheezing, I was fainting. My eyes were wide open, my mom was next to me, telling me to sit down, telling me to "breathe, breathe."

Dante left, in tears and pain, but he left me, and I couldn't breathe without him. It was manifesting physically. The fucking air wouldn't get inside my lungs.

"Calm down, look! Look at me, Ari! Breathe like me," Mom took a deep breath. "Slowly... Relax..." She took another deep breath.

I tried mimicking her, I wanted to calm down, I remember thinking that if I didn't I would pass out and die. I tried taking deep breaths. One... and two... Three... little by little my respirations slowed down. I wasn't gasping as much, the headache was going away, but the shakiness in my heart was still present. Twelve... thirteen... Just a little more.

"You have to calm down... it's ok," my mother spoke, her voice breaking. I listened to her words since there was nothing in my world but blurred vison, until living images came back to reality. I sat on a chair dad had brought for me and leaned against it. Twenty-one... twenty-two...

I restored my breathing back to normal, but Dante was gone, and I was alone. I had once gone to the desert, back when he was in Chicago, and had sat there in the middle of the night. I had looked to the left, there was nothing, I had looked to the right, nothing, had looked up at the sky, nothing for thousands of miles. That's exactly how I felt then, there was nothing anywhere.

I don't know how much time passed by, maybe five, maybe thirty minutes before my mom spoke again, "Ari, that girl is freezing herself outside."

I had no words to say, no will to argue, no strength to tell Tere that I never wanted to see her again, so I only nodded.

Tere was shivering in the truck, she asked if everything was ok. I said "no." She didn't ask for anything else. She would never understand how much that simple, tiny, word meant. No one would. No one.

Tbc...