"Darling are you lost adrift at sea?
There is an anchor tied to your ankle that begs to watch you sink.
Is the bottom of the ocean where you want to make your bed?" Tori sung quietly to me as we laid cuddled up in a lawn chair on the deck of her parents' beach house in Montauk. My right arm was draped across her torso, her arms were wrapped around me. I smiled contently against her neck. I loved her singing voice, it had such volume and melody. She didn't sing very often, mostly in the shower or to the occasional good song on the radio, but when she did it always put a smile on my face. My little songbird.
"Songbird..." I murmured aloud, opening my eyes. A sudden realization dawning on me, I sat up quickly. Her arms awkwardly flailed around and the blanket that was on us slipped a little.
"Jade, why'd you do that? I'm cold." Tori whined pulling the blanket back over herself. I guess she did have a right to complain, we were in Montauk in the beginning of February
"How does he know to call you that?!" I demanded. She pushed the blanket back a little to squint one brown eye at me.
"Who?" She asked, her voice muffled by the blanket.
"That guy!" I shouted at her, she wasn't taking this seriously.
"What guy?" She asked, the side of her face I could see scrunched up in confusion.
"I don't know, Vega! The freaking guy that was kissing you!" I hissed at her. She rolled her eyes.
"I don't know what you're talking about, Jade." She mumbled pulling the blanket back over her face.
"Vega, you have to take this seriously! Someone is trying to," I paused mid sentence as I ripped the blanket off her and she was gone. I put my head in my hands and groaned.
"Do you think we'll last, Jade?" Tori asked me quietly, getting up on her elbows to look me in the eyes. The comforter slipped off her shoulders and pooled up at the dip of her back. She glared at me as I had a hard time focusing on her face and not her exposed chest. I cleared my throat then met her eyes with a frown.
"Of course I do, why would you ask something like that?" I asked. She frowned and laid back down next to me, turning on her said so that she could still look at me directly. Some of her fell in her face, I pushed it gently away and smiled at her.
"It's just...nobody's ever really stuck, y'know? But I really like you and I really want us to last." She murmured, blinking her doe eyes at me. I tried not to think about how adorable she was when she did that so I could focus on a reply.
"Just like, huh?" I asked with a small smirk. Her lips curled and then she balled her fist and punched my shoulder.
"Hey!" I cried out, wincing at the slight pain.
"You know what I meant! I'm laying here telling you my insecurities and all you have to say is "just like, huh?" Idiot! You know I love you!" She said, hitting me repeatedly in the shoulder.
"Quit it! That shit hurts and I don't have a shirt on to shield me from your freaking baby punches." I said, leaning my shoulder away from her.
"Baby punches? Do you want me to keep going?" She threatened, raising her fist up again.
"Okay, Tori! Jeez!" I said pushing her fist away. She narrowed her eyes at me then rolled on her back and stared up at the ceiling. I smiled and leaned over her.
"Did you say you loved me before?" I asked. She blinked up at me and then started blushing. She looked away from me and crossed her arms over my chest.
"Why miss sweet Sally peaches just admitted she was in love with little ole me, I am ever so lucky!" I yelled out dramatically in my southern drawl I used to imitate her voice. She covered her face with her hands.
"I don't talk like that!" She whined. I got up on my knees, grabbing one of her hands I interlaced our fingers before bringing it up to my chest and holding it there.
"We must alert the whole town of this new declaration, on this wondrous day! Victoria Vega has said she loved Jadelyn West first!" I yelled loudly, furthering my teasing. Below me, Tori groaned, looking up at me with half her face covered.
"Why're you like this?" She mumbled. I grinned down at her.
"Cause your reactions are funny." I said simply. She stuck her tongue out at me but I quickly leaned down and kissed her. Her eyes widened and she made a sound of surprise, but it didn't take long before she closed her eyes and started kissing me back. She pulled away quickly and glared at me.
"You could say it back so I don't feel like an idiot, y'know?" She hissed. I smiled down at her, my eyes half lidded.
"I love you too." I murmured, settling on top of her.
"I love you too." I repeated, trailing kisses from her chest to her jaw.
"Jade-"
"I love you too." I said again, cutting her off. I kissed her cheek.
"I love you too." A kiss to her other cheek.
"I love you too." A kiss to her temple.
"I love you too." A kiss to her forehead.
"I love you too." A kiss to her nose.
"I love-"
"Don't ever leave." She whispered, cutting me off and kissing my lips. Her arms wrapped around my neck and she pulled me impossibly closer to her. Please let me keep this one, just this one. I fell flat on the bed, blinking in confusion I looked around but I couldn't find Tori. Stupidly, I started ripping off the blankets and looking for her there. Tears were starting to spill out from my eyes and I started panting.
"Sikowitz, please!" I yelled at the ceiling.
"Please..." I whimpered.
Ryder walked hastily to his girlfriend's house, knocking on the front door gently. He smiled brightly at Tori, but it dropped as soon as he saw her tear strickenEd face.
"Baby, what's wrong?" He cooed, he went in to hug her but she stepped back and trudged into the living room.
"I don't know," She mumbled, plumping down on the ottoman.
"I just feel like I'm disappearing, like I'm going to fade away soon." She cried, a new stream of tears falling down her face.
"You're not disappearing." Ryder said, chuckling awkwardly as he say down next to her.
"Nothing makes any sense to me anymore, I feel lost like I don't belong in my own skin." She sobbed, getting hysterical.
"Oh, songbird." Ryder whimper sympathetically, he pulled her into a bone crushing hug. He rubbed her back soothingly, hoping it would comfort her.
"Nothing makes any sense." She mwhimpered into
"What can I do?" He asked desperately, rocking her back and forth. Tori sniffled and pulled herself out of the hug to look at him.
"Let's go somewhere, I need to stop crying. You want to go up to Montauk?" She asked, her eyes pleading as they searched his.
"Montauk-"
"Yeah, we could go to this cute little coffee shop there! Or no, we could go to Boston! Yeah, we could go and lay on the Charles River and star at the stars!" Tori said getting up, leaping at the chance to get out of her house and it's depressing air.
"Uhm, yeah. Did you want to go tonight or-"
"Tonight! We have to go tonight!" She called interrupting Ryder and walking out of the room in search of better clothing. He checked to make sure she was completely out of the room before he quickly unzipped his book bag and started rooting through all of Jade's mementos he had stuffed in there. Finally he found the scrapbook and looked through it so fast and desperately he almost tore a few pages out. He found the page he was looking for. On it was a picture of Jade and Tori laying on something, he guessed the Charles when it was frozen, and a piece of paper taped next to it with a detailed paragraph written on it.
"Me and Jade on the frozen Charles, Valentine's Day 2013. Blah, blah, blah. 'I could die right now, Vega, and I'd be just happy. I've never felt this way before, not with Beck or anybody. I'm just exactly where I want to be." Ryder mumbled quickly to himself, as he recited the quote. He wanted to memorize it so that he would know exactly what to Tori.
"What's that?" He jumped at the sudden sound of Tori's voice. Tori stood in the doorway of the living room, a curious look on her face as she smiled at him.
"It's, uh, it's not important." He stammered as he tried to blindly shove the scrapbook back in his bag. He stood up quickly and shot her a nervous smile. Her eyebrows furrowed a now hesitant smile on her face.
"Uhm, okay...weirdo." She said, then plucked her keys up off the hook by the door.
"Ready to go?" She asked as she turned to him with a grin. He quickly picked up his bag and started shuffling through it again.
"Yeah, I uhm, I got you something though." He said nervously his hand rising out of the bag in it a little black box. He shakily handed it to her, smiling awkwardly. She gently took it from him and opened the box, her jaw dropping.
"I...I...Uhm, Ryder-"
"Happy early Valentine's Day, do you like it?" Ryder asked hopefully. Tori's panic filled eyes flickered up to him then back down to the ring in the box.
"Ryder...it's beautiful. But, uhm, isn't this kind of soon? I mean, we've only been together for three months." Tori said, glancing between him and the ring. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion before the look of confusion turned to a look of horror.
"No! Oh God! Uhm, it's just like a normal ring. I'm not proposing or anything!" He said quickly.
"Oh, well in that case it's very gorgeous." Tori said chuckling a little, her heart rate slowing down some. She picked the ring up out of the box and lifted it up to examine it. Her brow furrowed and a confused frown tugged at her lips.
"Who are Tori and Jade West?" She asked looking over at Ryder. He started panicking again.
"What?" He asked, his voice cracking. Tori handed the ring back to him and pointed at the inside.
"The engraving. It says Tori and Jade West always all ways." Tori elaborated, she looked like she thinking hard about something. Ryder's heart was practically beating out of his chest, he searched his mind desperately for an answer of some sort.
"Uh, stupid engraver! He gave me the wrong ring, I'll take it back and get you a new one tomorrow, okay?" He said, searching her face for any sign of disbelief. He found none but he didn't like the thoughtful look she was sporting now either. She looked up at him and the nodded absentmindedly.
"Ready to go?" She asked, clearing her throat and blinking a few times. Ryder nodded eagerly.
"C'mon, you'll love it. I promise." I said as I pulled a reluctant Tori with me to the frozen Charles river.
"I don't know, Jade. Are you sure it's safe?" She asked, her hand squeezing mine in a death grip.
"Why're you asking me this? You're the one who said you wanted to see it." I said grinning.
"I meant in the summer, in the daytime, when its water not a frozen death trap at night!" She hissed. After lots of coaxing and promising that the ice wouldn't break Tori finally took her first step on the ice. I watched with amusement as she took small baby steps on the ice.
"It's not even slippery." I said, her grip on my hand tightened as we walked painfully slow.
"I'm not worried about that! I don't want to fall through and die!" She whined. I rolled my eyes.
"You're not gonna fall through and die, you'll get hypothermia and then die." I clarified. She whipped her head in my direction and glared at me, if she wasn't holding onto me I'm pretty sure she would've hit me.
"How far are we going out anyway?" She asked.
"To the middle." I answered. She let out this little whimpering sound and latched herself onto my arm. I rolled my eyes but couldn't stop the smile that formed on my lips. When we reached the middle I let go of her and the plopped down on my back to look up at the sky. My hands were folded on my stomach, and my hair was fanned out under my head.
"Jade, what're you doing?!" Tori hissed as she stood above me with her hands on her hips.
"The view from down here is great, songbird." I said, smirking up at her. Her eyes narrowed and smacked her lips.
"You can't distract me with flattery." She said. I feigned ignorance, looking up at her with mock confusion.
"I was talking about the stars. God Vega, self centered much?" I asked with a playful roll of my eyes. She nudged me with her shoe, then walked around to the other side of me. She hesitantly sat down next to me, before laying down on her back.
"If I die..."
"I'll play something nice at your funeral." She elbowed my side and I chuckled. Her gloved hand slowly grabbed one of mine, she caressed mine with her thumb. I looked over at her and noticed that she smiling as she looked up at the stars. The moon light reflected in her hair, and for a moment it looked like she had her own stars in her eyes. Her skin was so flawless, her face was a bit red from the cold but she still looked stunning.
"Beautiful." I whispered.
"They are, aren't they?" She asked. I felt my face heat up slightly and I coughed awkwardly, glancing at her for a moment before looking back up at the stars.
"I think I see the Vega star, actually." I said, looking over at her after awhile she met my eyes with a look of disbelief.
"Yeah, right." She said sarcastically. I shook my head at her.
"No, seriously look. It's right there." I said, pointing up at some random star.
"Where?" She asked, her eyes searching the night sky eagerly.
"There." I said, pointing again. She glanced at me then looked back up, a small smile resting on her face.
"I'm glad we did this." She whispered.
"Me too." I agreed, she put her head on my chest and nuzzled into me, I smiled and rested my chin on top of her head.
"Did I tell you that my parents used to bring me and Trina down here when were kids to fish."She said.
"Oh? Did you catch anything?" I asked. She let out a soft chuckle and then I felt her shake her head.
"No, we sucked. But dad would always take us for ice cream afterwards so that made it worth it." She said. I laughed and then sighed in contentment. I couldn't explain why I was so happy, it was just in this moment with her looking up at the stars in the freezing cold made me feel so light.
"I could die right now, Vega, and I'd be just happy. I've never felt this way before, not with Beck or anybody. I'm just exactly where I want to be." I murmured softly to her, kissing her hair. She didn't anything for awhile and I didn't want to look over because I knew that meant she would be gone.
"Tori?" I called softly, my voice cracking. A feeling of dread settled in my stomach when she didn't answer. I wrapped my arms around myself and sobbed.
"I take it back! I want to call it off! Please! I don't want her gone!" I yelled out through my sobs. I wiped the tears from my eyes and stood on my feet.
"Can you hear me, I know you're there! I want to call it off, please someone wake me up! I don't want this anymore!" I yelled at the sky but was met with silence...
Ryder smiled at Tori from where he laid next to her, and looked up at the night sky.
"I could die right now, Vega, and I'd be just happy. I've never felt this way before, not with Becky or anybody. I'm just exactly where I want to be." He said quietly to her. Tori sprung up, sitting there with a large frown on her face. Ryder looked at her, worried.
"I want to go home." She said, a look of discomfort on her face.
"What? But we just got here!" Ryder cried, his eyebrows rising to his hairline. He tried talking to her but she was already up and walking.
"Wait! Was it something I said? Songbird!" He called after her, scrambling to keep up with her. Tori whirled around, fury dancing in her eyes.
"Don't call me that!" She hissed at him. Ryder flinched as if she hit him.
"But I always call you songbird...what's wrong, Vega?" He asked, taking a step toward only to have her back away from him.
"Don't call me that either! It just feels wrong, like someone else should be calling me that-"
"What? That doesn't make any sense. Tori please, let's just go back and we can-"
"No! I need to go home, alone! I need to be alone." Tori said, turning around and stalking to her car leaving a very confused and nervous Ryder behind.
I'm glad some of you know that this is actually a movie, I wouldn't suggest it though. I didn't like it very much, it looked low budgeted and I've never really like Elijah Wood or Jim Carry. Reviews are my best friend and they speed up the update process.