It was a busy day at "Ucchan's". While several okonomiyaki were frying on the griddle in front of her, Ukyo idly watched Konatsu serving customers.

By which she meant all of the customers.

All of the customers, simultaneously.

Ranma, sitting at the counter, watched enviously. "Wow. That clone technique is really something. I wonder how you learn to do something like that?"

Another Konatsu materialized next to him. "In this one's case, it was the result of a long and arduous apprenticeship at the Teahouse Kunoichi. If Lord Ranma wishes to try that, I'm sure that my stepfamily will happily…"

"Yeah, nope, not doing that. I was thinking you might have some scrolls or something?"

"Also at the Teahouse."

"Not going to that place ever again if I can help it. Thanks anyway."

In an instant the copy-Konatsu had disappeared. Ranma gave a forced smile, twiddling his fingers a bit. "Anyway, this lunch was on the house, right?"

Ukyo snorted. "Fat chance, hon. I gotta run a business here."

"C'mon," Ranma whined, "does our longtime friendship mean nothing?"

"Oh, it matters a lot. That's why I'm throwing in your drinks for free!"

"...you gave me tap water to drink."

"And I'm not charging you a single rin for it."

Ranma gave her a long look. "I preferred how it worked when we were engaged."

"You only preferred the free food part of the arrangement." She frowned. "You don't have any cash on you, do you?"

"Well…"

Ukyo sighed. "Fine. You'll owe me. But pay me by the end of the week. After that, I'm charging interest."

Ranma grinned. "Thanks, Ucchan!"

His ex-fiancee couldn't help but chuckle. "Go on, get outta here. You're taking up room a paying customer should be in."

As Ranma left, her smile faded slightly. Transitioning from fiancee to friend was not easy, but things were getting better.

She watched the multiple Konatsus flitting around her eatery.

And when you get rid of the old, you have the chance to try something new.

"I apologize deeply, Lady Ukyo, but this one has apparently misheard you. What exactly did you say?"

"Ucchan's" was empty. The lunch rush had ended, and the place was closed until dinner time. Time for the restaurant staff to have their lunch, get ready for evening rush, and shoot the breeze a little.

"What I said is that if you think you're so fast and stealthy, you should put your money where your mouth is."

"Is Lady Ukyo suggesting some sort of wager?"

"You bet I mean a bet."

"I… do I dare risk my fortune?" Reluctantly, Konatsu pulled a small purse from inside her clothes. With trembling hands, she opened it up and pulled out a slip of paper, carefully handing it over. "Is this acceptable to gamble with?"

Ukyo looked at it, then gave Konatsu a tired look. "This is a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for an onigiri." She held it up and looked at it more carefully. "And it expired in 1974."

Konatsu split into three shinobi who had an impromptu discussion. "It was too much!" "We acted far too rashly." "Do we have the temperment for this sort of wager?"

There was a sharp sound as Ukyo slapped a coin onto the counter. She held it up for the triplicate ninja to see. A ten-yen coin. "We're betting cold hard cash. This much."

"What an extravagant action!" "If we were to win it, that might be enough to secure our future!" "But if we lost, we'd be plunged into penury!"

"Maybe y'all should hear what I want you to do in the bet before you decide."

The three copy-ninja looked at each other and nodded. "A reasonable point. Please go on."

"So, before midnight tonight…"

The three-in-one ninja nodded.

"...and mind you, you need to be so fast that I can't even see you coming when you do this…"

The Konatsu trio nodded again.

"Before midnight, you are to give me ten kisses."

Once more, the Konatsus nodded. Until they comprehended what they had just heard. At which point, two of the clones disappeared, and the one remaining had a totally red face.. "A… a kiss? But… I mean… You're…"

Time to sell it. "Oh, if you're not confident enough in your skills to pull it off, I completely understand. Just admit to me that your abilities are lacking, I'll make some chicken noises, and that will be that."

In a fraction of a second, Ukyo found herself surrounded by a crowd of her employee. "Our abilities are not lacking," one close to her growled. "Wager accepted."

"Fine. You have until midnight to secretly kiss me ten times. Starting in three, two, one, go."

The second she said "go", all traces of Konatsu vanished. Ukyo was alone in her establishment.

A few seconds later, Konatsu opened the refrigerator from inside. "Oh, how do I prove that I ki… that I did the 'k' word on you?"

"Wear lipstick. I'll count the kiss marks afterwards."

Konatsu nodded and closed the refrigerator. A second later, the ninja's head popped out of a ceiling vent. "Oh, any limitations on where I… 'k'-word you?"

Ukyo blushed. "I'd prefer on the face and head only."

"No, I meant like just in the store, or everywhere?"

"Everywhere. Do you have any more questions?"

Konatsu pulled out a lipstick and applied it, then smacked her lips. "None whatsoever."

"Let's get this straight: two orders, one with pork and one with seafood, seafood one light on the mayo."

"Yes, please. Oh, and do you make the kind with noodles on it?"

Ukyo looked at the customer, frowning. "You don't mean Hiroshima-style, do you?"

He shrank back. "That isn't a bad thing, is it?"

"It is an insult to me, to my family, to my tradition." Her face brightened up. "But I'll get over it for 200 yen extra. Noodles on both?"

"Y-yes."

"Right on it."

The customer's companion waved to get Ukyo's attention. "Uh, miss? Is there something going on here tonight?"

"Just dinner."

"I'm only saying because when we started ordering, there was a kiss mark on your cheek. Now there's another one on your other cheek and one on your forehead."

Ukyo smiled with embarrassment. "It's to do with a bet."

"But I've been watching the whole time and I didn't see anyone else around you."

Konatsu's head poked out of the woman's handbag. "Of course you didn't!" she said indignantly.

The customers looked at her with stunned expressions.

Ukyo cleared her throat to get their attention back. "So… what will the two of you have to drink?"

After an arduous day's work, Ukyo sat at the vanity in her bedroom and brushed her long hair. She glanced at the clock. "Eleven fifty-eight… fifty-nine," she said out loud, despite seemingly being the only one in the room. "And only nine kiss marks. Time's running out?"

No response.

She set the hairbrush down and watched the second hand make its final daily journey around the clock face.

"Eleven fifty-nine and forty seconds. Forty-five seconds." She counted off as if it were new year's eve. "Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two…"

Just as she finished saying two, she saw the new mark, on her chin, just below her mouth. "And that's number ten. Looks like you win!"

In an instant, Konatsu was in front of her, kneeling, with her fist to the ground. "Thank you, my lady."

Ukyo picked up the coin from her vanity and gave it to Konatsu. "Congratulations. Don't spend it all in one place."

"Indeed not." Konatsu accepted the coin, putting it in a threadbare coin purse.

"Can't believe you did the last one with two seconds to go. Wouldn't doing it at one second to go have been more dramatic?"

"I had planned on it, but I was worried that I needed more time in case anything went wrong."

"So," Ukyo cleared her throat, "you've impressed me with your skills, but I'm wondering if ten is your limit."

"I beg your pardon?"

"It's possible you only got by on luck."

Konatsu gasped indignantly.

"So I propose we double the bet. Twenty yen, for twenty kisses by midnight tomorrow." She looked at the clock. "Or, technically, today."

Konatsu spoke confidently. "You have a bet, Lady Ukyo."

Once again, the ninja waitress disappeared in an instant.

Seemingly alone, Ukyo chuckled, as she started to wipe lipstick marks away. Twenty kisses in the next twenty-four hours. And it would cost only twenty yen. She called that a bargain.

The best she'd ever had.

Author's Notes:

Story begun: 24 January 2023
Story completed: 24 January 2023

A rin is 1/1000th of one yen. The rin was defunct by the year 1920, if not earlier. Coinage for less than a single yen has not been issued since 1953. In fact, as far as I can tell, single yen coins themselves (worth somewhat less than one US cent each) have not been minted for several years.

Title and final lines of the story courtesy of The Who.

This one was pretty much fully-formed in my head, though at first, I had Nabiki in the Ukyo role-I just couldn't think of who Nabiki would be betting with. Then it occurred to me to look at the second-most mercenary character in the series.

This isn't my first time writing Konatsu, but this is my first Konatsu/Ukyo story. It was fun to write!

Hope you enjoyed it.