Rifiuto: Non Mirena

"What do you think bothers you the most about the amnesia, Tim? The fact that you can't remember or the fact that it took specific memories away?"

Tim sighed, resting his elbows on the table. He'd called Dr. Cranston, asking if she had an opening in her appointment book. Of course the doctor had told him yes, and he'd asked to meet at a small cafe instead of her office. He hated therapy offices- having been to enough of them as a child, simply because his father had deemed him 'sick' and 'un-masculine' for not wanting to join the Navy, and so that warranted several sessions with various therapists, psychologists and psychiatrists- and preferred to not be in an office, sitting on a sofa, talking about his feelings.

They now sat at a table, talking softly over coffee. The doctor waited, giving him time to gather his thoughts. When they'd first met, she'd thought he was familiar, and then, when he'd introduced himself, she'd realized that he had been Kate's colleague. And Tim had realized that the Rachel Cranston he was talking to was Kate's older sister- of course the resemblance was one of the main factors that had tipped him off.

"I... I guess both. It's the fact that I can't remember... I mean, what if I never remember? And those memories... clearly those memories are exceedingly important to me... but why can't I remember them? The memories of my wedding, of the first four years of our marriage... our son and the accident... what gave the amnesia the right to take those specific memories away from me? Why?"

Rachel sighed, folding her hands on the table. "It could be, that when the accident occurred, your brain decided that the way to protect you from the trauma, was to take those memories away." At Tim's confusion, she continued. "See, memories are constantly changing. If the memory is too traumatic, then the brain will block that memory out so as to protect the person from re-experiencing the trauma."

"But the memories of... the ones of my wedding, of my life with Ziva... those aren't traumatic, Dr. Cranston! So why are those gone?"

She sighed. "It could be, that because the accident occurred the day you found out about Ziva's pregnancy, that your brain associated Ziva- and, to a lesser extent, the baby- with the trauma, and therefore decided to block those memories as well. There is no limit to what the brain will do to protect the person." The young agent sighed, reaching up and rubbing his forehead. "You said your wife is pregnant, Tim?" He nodded. "How many weeks?"

"Thirty-seven."

"So three weeks left. This your first?"

"Yeah. Our son."

"What's his name, or have you picked it yet?"

"Amal." Rachel smiled softly.

"Amal. That's... Arabic for 'hope' if I remember correctly." Tim nodded slowly.

"Yeah. Ziva... she's ready for him come. But Dr. Beniot told us that because Amal is our first, it could be weeks before he's born."

"Has she started dilating yet?"

"Yeah. She's two centimeters today."

"So she's still got awhile to go."

Tim chuckled softly. "Yeah, she does."

"You know, when I had my first, I had to be induced."

Tim perked up slightly. "You have kids?" Rachel nodded, pulling out her phone. She scrolled quickly through something before holding it out.

"Fraternal twins and then another little girl." Tim took the phone, a photograph of two eight-year-olds and a four-year-old smiled up at him. "Robert and Lauren are the twins, and then Caitlin is their little sister. I was induced at thirty-five weeks and had a c-section, when I wanted a vaginal birth." She chuckled. "I had a vaginal birth with Kate."

"Kate? For your sister?" The doctor nodded.

"She was born a couple years after Katie died... I figured the best way to honor her memory was to... name her niece after her."

Tim grinned softly. "Kate would have loved that."

A moment passed in silence, before she nodded. "You know, Katie always spoke very highly of you." He blushed, his green eyes darting down to his wedding ring.

"She did?"

"She did. Said she'd... never seen an agent with more drive and will than you, and... that you'd go places at NCIS. That... that would turn into a damn fine agent some day. She even thought that you'd make a fine director or team leader also, if you just gave it time. Agent DiNozzo on the other hand-"

Tim chuckled softly. "Kate always did have a low opinion of Tony. But I think that's more because he spent the majority of his time teasing her."

Rachel laughed softly. "Kate always did complain that Agent DiNozzo tortured her. You know, I think if they'd had the time, they would have made a wonderful couple." Tim wrinkled his nose, thinking.

"Yeah, you're right. Kate's the only one that could really keep Tony in line. You know, besides Gibbs."

They sat in silence for several minutes before Rachel asked, "How are your feelings about the birth? Are you nervous? Excited?"

"Terrified?" He offered, and she smiled. "I... I mean, I know that I have every right to be because it's my son and my wife going through the process, but... but what exactly am I going to do? I mean, what can I do to help? And... from everything I've read, labor for first-time moms can last up to... to sixteen hours or more and... and that the delivery phase could be longer."

"It's not uncommon for first-time mothers to be in labor for days, but then again it all depends on the speed of the dilation and effacement."

He sighed. "Well, Ziva's two centimeters, so it looks like it's going to be slow."

Rachel chuckled softly, reaching over and patting his hand. "Don't worry, Tim. When she goes into labor, your instincts will kick in."

As they parted ways, Rachel turned back. "Oh, and Tim?" He met her gaze. "Did your doctor tell you that first-time mothers tend to not go into labor until the forty-first week?"